2
THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
Sunday, May 5, 1930
ffht DailyVedmskm
Official Htmwm 0 Mora Thin 7000 Itmtmtt
THIRTY-NINTH YEAR
Subscription Rates are $1..00 Per Semester or $1.50 for
the College Year. $2.50 Mailed. Single copy, 6 Cents. En
tered as second-class matter at the postoffice In Lincoln,
Nebraska, under Act of Congress, March 3, 1879, and at
special rate of postage provided for In Section 1103, Act
of October 3, 1917, Authorized January 20, 1922.
Offices .... ..Union Building
Day 2-7181. Night 2-7193. Journal -2-3333
Member Associated Collegiate Press, 1939-40
Membsr Nebraska Press Association, 1939-40
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Published Daily during the school year except Mondays
nd Saturdays, vacations, and examination periods by stu
dents of the University of Nebitska, under supervision of
the Publications Board.
Editor-in-Chief Richard deBrown
Business Manager Arthur Hill
To the editor
To ye editor:
We pay three dollars a semester for Student
Union fee. What do we get for that money? A
beautiful building, exquisitely furnished, a year-.
round program of entertainments, shows, dances
and the like, AND (to defeat the good of all these)
a mob of boorish morons who masquerade as wait
ers and fountain men.
We pay THEIR salaries with our three dollar
fee and with our patronage of the grill. But as
far as they're concerned we're just so many in
terruptions in their time for play in the grill. Go
ahead., .go into the grill. . .order something. . .even
smile at the waiter when you BEG him for a coke.
'Tis of no avail. What cares he if you are served
five minutes or fifty minutes later? He doesn't.
The situation has come to the place when one
doesn't dare remind these supreme beings, the wait
ers, that a necessary spoon or knife has been for
gotten ... that Is, one doesn't dare remind him, un
less he wishes to incur the wrath of these dieties.
They play... they laugh... they joke... they
dance... With one another! But when a lowly stu
dent ventures to ask to be served, they are imme
diately transformed Into scowling, fuming monsters
...looking down from their imperial positions and
condemning us in their disgustingly slow service,
their outrageously antagonistic attitude towards the
students, and their general slovenliness of manner
and actions.
Something should be done. Something MUST
be done! If the Union is for the benefit of the stu
dents, why must we endure such a situation?
(Signed) RALPH COMBS.
$ Stoop. Shonif.
I and the red-haired one had a discussion yester
day. It was under a tree. It's nice to talk under
a tree. Because God makes trees. But may God
help the Ivy that was planted on the other side of
that tree. The red-haired one talked of the ivy.
Who shall plant the ivy. Class presidents plant
the ivy. Class presidents have only one job and that
is to plant the ivy. And the ivy never grows.
Today they planted the ivy. The same old ivy.
Maybe the same sprig of ivy that has been wan
dering about these last 42 years, but which has
never grown.
Grown, flown, blown. Ivy, ivy, ivy. Positively
poison ivy. Yet poison ivy can be cured. This ivy
cannot be cured because it is dead before it is born.
So little glowworm, listen, listen, here comes the
same old Ivy again. Glowworms, tapeworms, fish
worms and the ivy. The Ivy which never grows, nor
flows, nor blows.
And yet they come to blows over who shall plant
the ivy. Why not plant the blows and elect the ivy?
Class presidents do nothing. The ivy does nothing.
Substitute. Plant the class presidents for the ivy.
And what do you think of Roosevelt. Do you think
that he could make the ivy grow. And Moses raised
his hands and the seas parted. But even Moses
could not make the ivy grow. And moss does not
even grow about the ivy. Moses and mosses. Masses
are said for the growth of the ivy, but the mass
of it makes a mess of it. Moses, mosses, masses,
messes. The ivy is all of these and mosttests.
Have you heard the news. The WPA campus
beautification project has finally turned to an in
vestigation of why the ivy does not grow. If all
the ivy that had been planted here in the last 42
years was laid end to end it would be a good idea,
a better idea than planting ivy that never grows.
And George cancelled the order for a small steam
shovel and bought a big one, and they hauled an
other load away, and still the ivy did not grow.
Fertile soil, unfertile soil. Fertile eggs, unfertile.
But only unfertile ivy.
Two brainy, brawny, burly, beautiful behemoths
began breaking the sod. Dig, dig, dig, well all right.
But the ivy still won't grow.
See saw, Marjorie Daw, and have you seen the
ivy grow. No, and neither has anyone else. vor
42 years, though droughts, and rains and blizzuds,
and the ivy has never grown. And I am growing,
growing tired of the ivy which is not growing.
And so my friends, farewell. I have come with
the ivy, and I go with the ivy. Here today and gone
today. Never put off until tomorrow what you can
do today, so the ivy dies today. From pillar to post,
from dog food to sea food mama. Still the ivy
doesn't grow.
Pink elephants steal show
at Kampus Kapers circus
Amidst a myriad of pink ele
phants; plank-backed, oil-cloth
skinned horses; crepe-paper; and
a gymnasium in lieu of a tanbark
covered ring, Kampus Kapers pol
ished off the Barndoor Bailhay
Ringless Circus in the ag activi
ties building yesterday afternoon
and again in the evening, to the
cheers and acclaim of ag students,
visitors, city campusites, and a
press delegation from the DAILY.
The 500-strong audience laughed.
They clapped. They cheered. They
screamed. They "oohed." They
"ahhed." For the Barndoor Bail
hay Circus was GOOD . . .
The festival of fun started with
the traditional grand march of all
circuses. The grease-painted
clowns, Prof. Bumployer's band,
Alabama and His Ranch Girls . . .
the entire personnel of the per
formaiice descended on the waiting
audience with a smash of drums
and a blowing of trumpets.
Practically Peerless
Two headline acts of the saw
dust ring phenomena were The
Practically P e e r 1 e a Pyramid
Builders and the Rolling Rockets
. . . The Pyramid Builders were
not descendants of ancient Egyp
tians, on the contrary . . . their
tumbling and acrobatics were the
work of young, energetic and
graceful, men.
They built pyramids, not of
stone, but of flesh and bodies . . .
living, breathing pyramids that
extolled rolls of applause from the
audience. These five young uni
versity men were precision per
sonified. The Rolling Rockets a roller
skating act were two men and a
girl. "Rockets" describes them
perfectly . . . the fellows whizzed
'round and 'round , . . they threw
the girl about like she was a g
cf straw. They practically played
"catch" with her.
Other acts of the production
were the Wonderful Whits and
Wlebel Wire performance a high
(?) wire performance that left
the audience breathless with sur
prise; Grace the Bareback Rider
a chubby cherub of a girl, or
was "she" a girl, aboard the
plank-backed hoes; Madame Zay
arabella, featuring Isadore, the
Elephant . . . this was that certain
PINK ELEPHANT we've "heard"
so much about.
Alabama and his Three Ranch
Girls warbled songs of the western
skies and plains; Prof. Angel Gon
zolollo Swindler an organ grinder
and his monkey; and, of course,
the ever-present slap-sticking of
the clowns.
YMCA cabinet
launches drive
against cheating
The problem of cheating in ex
aminations has long been one
which has baffled professors and
is growing more serious all the
time, according to the ag college
YMCA. For this reason, they met
recently to discuss this problem.
With hopes of eliminating or at
least curbing this cheating which
the ag YM cabinet says exists,
they decided upon a program to
be put Into effect.
First step.
First step which they decided
upon was that the YMCA should
work with other campus organi
zations that are connected with
scholarship. Second the cabinet
members decided to hold confer
ences with professors to decide
what should be done.
Third, the YM cabinet decided
to hold a Joint discussion with fac
ulty members. Then, If possible,
they plan to give the program
publicity thru ed.torials.
The final 6tep iecided upon waj
that they should trganlze a stu
dent board with the intention of
having it create sentiment against
cheating and to confer with viola
tort.
Fair
UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA OFFICIAL
BULLETIN
This bulletin Is for ths om of campus organisations, ? J
members. Notice, for tht bull.tts mull . be saM brought to the DAI " ofJl
by B p m. every day for Insertion lu tha paper ths fellowlni morning, """bys
must bit typed or llbly written and .limed by soma on with ths authority to
hav th. notie published. The bulletin will appear, dally caeept Monday sod
Saturday, on page two of ths NEBRASKAN.
SUNDAY
DKI.TA Hid MA PI.
M .oen if Drlta Nlirma PI wffl meeit ss
par.w AelUie Union for dlnaer at a p. m.
VK8TAIJI.
AU Vestak of the Lamp wlH sue ka
parlors X aad of ths Union at t p. an.
810 MA ALPHA IOTA.
Members f Sluma Alpha lota wtS mt
la parlor Z of the Union at 4 p. m.
Venus hare been laviird to drop lata laa
university obMirvatory oa fee cy tampan
which will be apea (wry I'ftsraasa tats
Wh TOWNE CLUB.
Mombasa f the Towne slab will aaast ad
p. am. ka pariar A at ths Uatoa.
BBQCEST raOG&AM.
A program leanest male wM be
played ea the (fernerte mimle set In the
farulty lounge of the Union at 4 P. m.
MONDAY SIOMA ALPHA IOTA PI.KDC.KS.
ALL NTl DKNTS AU Sigma Alpha Iota pledges will meat
All students in tr rented la skaervlnc at 4 p. ss. la ream Sid ad the Cakta.
I t7s a scoop from the cow
barn-exclusive Daily story
(Continued from Page 1.)
Geraldine Fauts was chic in roee
chambray with black accessories.
She was escorted by Gerry Gerloff
In a green sports coat and slacks.
Patriotic was Leu Esther Hen
derson in her red, white and blue
checked gingham, with a bias strip
at the neck.
Tennis outfit.
The arrival of the tennis season
was heralded by Charles Velte In
a washable shirt and slack outfit
and Dorothy Luckhardt In a rose
chambray Jacket dress.
Mary Jane Buck wore a short
black and red print dress with
shorts under the skirt for her ten
nis matches.
Helen Claybaugh modeled for
the benefit of the ag royalty the
yellow-green wool street dress
which won a prize In the Good
Housekeeping dress designing con
test. Barbara Epps wore wine dotted
swiss, while Kathryn Kiesslback
went red and white In a big way
in crinkled organdy formal.
On the midway in front of sg
activities building, the "farm
youths" could lose all their money
to the "city slickers" In the bingo
games, the fortune telling booth,
and the various "throw a ring"
games.
In ag activities building were
the exhibits of the agriculture de
partment and the "Kampus Ka
pers" show. The 4-H club exhibit
featured the right food for the
college and high school girl, and
the camera club exhibited the test
snapshots and studies taken re
cently. Featured in the exhibit
were a winter scene of the home
of Mayor R. E. Campbell, portrait
studies, and various shots of that
cameraman's mecca, the capltol.
First and second prize in the
snapshot division of the camera
club display went to Loro Davit,
with Floyd Olson winning third.
Dallas Coffin won first with his
photo In the enlargement division,
Dick Gooddlng second, and Floyd
Olson third. Bernard Epstein was
first In the solon division, Troxel
By Chris Petersen
This is a scoop. I have scooped
the cow barn. You are about to
read a scoopful of what I scooped
in the cow barn.
I am writing this story from
just behind the front. The front
of a cow. This cow is being milked.
Now milking a cow isn't an un
usual event, but this cow that they
are milking is. This cow is a
strange sort of a cow. Almost the
impossible.
After years of experimenting,
ag scientists have finally success
fully crossed a cow with a cream
separator. At the time of this
writing, cream is being pulled
from the two left faucets and milk
from the two right faucets. We
have suggested feeding the cow
ice to see if ice cream won't come
out of one of the faucets.
Rodeo
(Continued from Page 1.)
the first time, was the star of the
polo match played on draft horses
with brooms for clubs and a tennis
ball for a chuck, as he broke one
broomstick and had another taken
from him as he got off and on his
horse with much difficulty. Roy
Petsch and Butch Luther ac
counted for the two goals which
gave the green team victory over
the blue.
Petsch and Luther went on to
star in the steer riding contest,
as they stuck to the bucking bron
cos in true rodeo style. Petsch was
first, Luther second, Don Roth
third, and Chuck Bourret, fourth.
.They throw calves.
Fair Manager Rousek and
Charles March covered themselves
with glory in the calf roping con
test, as they threw their calf in
33.5 seconds. Don Roth and Or
ris Gorman took second.
Leo Cooksley and Mary Bell
Haumont won the silver plaque in
the western stock saddle class,
final event of the show. Second
were Don Melton and Louise Mat
thews, while Orris Cor man and
Margery Shannon were third.
Fourth were Bob Rothwell and
Mary Ros bo rough.
Judges of the contests were Pro
fessor Ross Miller, Keith Walker.
Charles Davis, and C. O. Schly
tern. Trophies, awarded to win
nei? in all events, were donated
by the Lincoln chamber of commerce.
Science had formerly declared It
"udderly" impossible, but I have
seen this crossing with my own
eyes.
In an interview with said cow,
said cow said, "The only thing
that puzzles me is how I'm going
to be able to keep up with the
new 1941 model cream separator."
I would not venture to guess what
her trade in value would be.
To top this tale off, ag engi
neers have stumbled across the
world's nearest resemblance to
perpetual motion with the cow in
the stall next to said cow above
which said what was said in the
last paragraph.
Perpetual motion
The cow in the next stall Is
drinking and giving milk at the
same time. A trough is extended
from under the cow's udder (two
bit agriculture word picked up
from an Animal Husbandry text
book) to a pall under the cow's
tcheterycherous (ten dollar word
now on sale at half price) which
any ordinary person knows is the
nose. First the cow is milked. The
milk runs down the trough into
the pail. The cow drinks the milk
from the pail. Milk finds its way
back to the udder. Soon the cow
is so full of milk that it flows by
itself. Back into the trough and
from the trough into the pail. And
so it goes on for hours. Man's
nearest approach to perpetual
motion.
Yes, I have scooped the cow
barn snd the world. Such is sci
ence. You have just finished read
ing a scoopful of what I was
scooping in the cow barn.
CLASSIFIED
10c Per Line . . ,
s
PH. I). Cap and nwn for nal. "call
9 1121.
Miller, second, and Dick Goodding,
third.
The poultry exhibit centered
around a white hen which in the
past year had laid 300 eggs, while
me wooaworK exnioit showed the
best In farm construction. Fores
try came in for its share with the
best way to prune trees, and chil
dren crowded around the minia
ture train in the vocational dis
play. Textiles and foods came in for
their share in the home ec build
ing. Designs in block printing,
dress construction, and ialntinir
were on display. The puppet show
was aiso neia in the building, as
were the following demonstra
tions: Salad dressing, flower ar
rangements, home Dressinir. curd
weaving, stain removal, draping.
sup cover nnianea, textile testing,
flower arrangement, rice, cushions.
In the meats laboratory were
displays of the best cuts of beef
and pork, while a military science
display was held in the military
science lab. Chemistry came In for
Its share of attention with the ex
hibit in the experiment station,
and dairy products, from milk
through cheese were on exhibit In
the dairy products building. Ma
chinery and agriculture engineer
ing displays were held In the en
gineering building.
Livestock was on exhibit north
, of the activities building.
Mills Teachers Agency
S. E. Mills, A.M., '29, Manager
WANTED i Inexperienced
Teachers.
408 Security Mutual
Lincoln, Nebr.
Serving Students for
22 Year
Dunlap Optical Co.
120 No. 12th St
DAVIS
SCHOOL SERVICE
A Good Teachers Agency
1918 . 1940
COME IN AND SEC US
643 Stuart Bunding
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