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Official Student Newspaper of the University of Nebraska
VOL. XXXVI NO. 113.
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA, TIIUBSOAV. AI'HIL 1. 1937
Pit ICE 5 CENTS
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Daily
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19
Campaign for
Cum pus Betterment.
In one of the most heated faction
meetings in the record of all al
truistic politics on this campus was
molded a flaming sword of higher
endeavor. Not only were all
political elements united behind a
great crusade, but also all parties
of all parts of all parties were
unanimous in support of the new
movement. And the fervor of the
group was so great one of the lads
was ten minutes late for his
nightly three hour conversation
with his sugar.
The program evolved for the
benefiting of the entire univer
sity, as drawn up by the Inno
cents, Barbs, Betas and every
body: 1. A two-stall parking place
for every student and faculty
member.
2. New gold-plated supporting
rods to bolster up the spirits of
U Hall.
3. An enlarged and air-conditioned
motion picture theater
for the Y. M. C. A. educational
films. .
4. A doorless chamber of sil
ence for all political science pro
fessors on the first floor of Sosh.
5. A four-year required course
In physical education for women,
no cuts, no absences allowed.
6. Dime telescope machines
for the swimming pool windows
during women's classes.
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
Their Inner Selves.
They played "Truth" at a tea
given by Dr. VVimberly the other
afternoon, and the real personali
ties of several professorial ' lights
was revealed. To the world of
takers-at-face-value, some of the
characteristics thus brought to
light would perhaps seem to be a
bit surprising. But to those of ua
privileged with the insight to see
the faculty minds as they really
are, the confessions startled not
a whit.
Our worthy host, in due court
esy, began the, session by telling
of his yearning for close censor
ship of all literature. "There is
so much in even the so-called
better books," he said," that is
unnecessarily naughty. These un
fortunate factors are highly detri
mental to moral well-being of our
people. Many things I think it
better to keep from the public.
For example the appalling pro
fanity and lewd language must
be eliminated. Language which
we wouldn't dream of employing
In everyday speech is deified in the
classics. If all the hecks and gol
elurns and dickenses were elim
inated from our literature, think
how much finer it would be.
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
And Companionate Marriage.
"In the world of children's read
ing material the conditions are
much worse. The sordid and ugly
things of life should be screened
from the sensitive child mind, and
only the ideal and beautiful should
be placed before them. All too
toon must they learn what a cruel,
cruel world it really is."
During Dr. Wimbcrly's crisp
and energetic discourse, we no
ticed that Drs. Hattie Plum Wil
liams and Rufus A. Lyman were
Impatiently waiting their turn
to bare their souls. When their
host concluded his remarks they
Almost simultaneously burst
forth with: "I'm in favor of
companionate marriages," stop
ped, looked red faced a moment
at each other, and then Dr. Wil
liams continued.
"What I mean to advocate,"
the explained, "is a more realis
tic and fundamental attitude
toward all aspects of married
life, especially the physical ele
ments involved. It is this side
of the marital problem which I
ever emphasize in my constant
setting forth of the concrete and
ths practical. Experience will al
ways be the best teacher, in mat- .
nmony, as in everything, so I j
think trial marriage is an insti- i
tution which should be widely
promoted by all influential per- ;
sonages." '
No Greek Says Oldfather.
These stimulating statements j
cemed to challenge the honesty ;
of all present, and we noted to our j
Borrow, "that everyone began tell -
ing his neighbor of his secret
heart at the m.mn tim We wan- '
tiered unnoticed from group to
group jotting down notes in order
that posterity might have recorded
the weighty thoughts set forth.
Dean Oldfather was shaking his
finger angrily under the nose of
Dr. Reinmuth and proclaiming that
learning an obsolete language like
Latin or Greek was a lotta hooey,
end that a round of golf each day
was far more profitable. Professor
Cass stood rooted in the center of
the room and held his head over
the tendency of students to be so
hair splittingly logical. Miss Lee
had cornered Miss Heppner, and
was holding out for satin scantics
on the tennis courts. Dr. Tool and
Miss Howell were ascribing their
successes to their relentless in
somnia. Eut sometimes the knowledge of
the truth is a burden too great for
mere mortals. The nectar Is too
heady, too potent. So we slipped
quietly away, hurried In our flight
Irom the rarefied atmosphere of
the sublime by Prof. Biff Jones'
proposal of telegraphic 'football
games and the demand of Drs.
Leva and Elda Walker for a daily
box of six inch stogies for all se
iious minded research workers.
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
Wind
ANDIMK FALLS
ALL OVER CAMPUS
DURING TORNADO
Cop Hears Great Crash
As Books Fly Here
. And There.
The university's aged library
building crashed to the ground
about four o'clock Thursday morn
ing when a heavy wind storm
swept the campus. University au
thorities are positive that no one
was in the building at the time of
the crash.
Damage was estimated to be
around $500,000. The volumes de
stroyed by the rain following the
wind were worth $499,000 the rest
of the damage being due to build
ing wreckage. As usual, the library
was in terrible condition when re
porters reached it.
Top Floor Remains.
Only the top floor was left
standing, the basement and first
and second stories being buried
under a mass of twisted timbers
and broken bricks.
The only book left whole was
"Gone With the Wind."
The first person to hear I he
roaring crash which followed the
library's fall was the campus cop.
"At first I thought it was just
(Continued on Page 2.)
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
Dean Ferguson Announces
Pleasant Surprise for
Weary Students.
To facilitate rapid transit be
tween Socia! Sciences hall and
Andrews hall, plans were ap
proved for the immediate con
struction of a 900 foot sky ride
to run between those two ter
minal"!, according to an announce
ment issued h'.te last night
through Dean O. J. Ferguson's
office.
Ferguson Ecstatic.
"This will probably be one of
the most colossal undertakings in
the history of the university,"
stated Dcuii Ferguson, "and 1101 ;
UIIIpV Ulrtl, UUI. IL Will tcll
and tear on the mall."
Designed through a collabora
tion of the efforts of Dean Fer
guson, Professors Jiles V. Hxiiey.
A. A. Luebs, A. L. Pugslcy, O. K.
Edison, and M. I. Kvingtr. th"
structure v. ill have f:ix rocket!
curs makinjr twenty second runs j
between tho two towiis, each tar;
i Continued on Page 2.1
Cridiron Dinner Tonight.
'('lie WmlluT.
Alas and Alack! Professor
Blair vas still at large today,
and co no forecast was avail
able. The police station and
hospitals are being checked for
the veteran gucsser. Until he
shows up vv2 will have to abide
with this winter weather.
Sleuth Uncovers 'Red' Plot
Among Political Scientists
Communistic Propaganda,
Papers Incriminate
Moscow Mooges.
An undercover roniniiiniHtic
plot, brewing in the political e
ence department of the university,
was uncovered Wednesday by a
Daily Ncbraskan reporter work
ing on a tip from the radical Ne
braska State Journal.
This Red Menace so shocked
the editorial stuff of the student
dally that intensive measures of
investigation were immediately
undertaken. Working siyly and
quietly thru the office of Chief
Instigator Aylesworth, this threat
to the American Way of life was
finally brought out into the light.
Further sleuthing proved all mem
bers of the department of politiral
science to be paid revolutionaries
storm
S. IVaiieis Takes Beins
From Slate Journal.
Sam Francis, Nebraska's All
American fullback, by virtue of his
appointment by the Board of Re
gents wil be installed as Chan
cellor of the university imme
diately. F.D.R. WILL OFFER
F
El
Dean - to - Accept Position
On Confirmation of
Unofficial Report.
Dean H. H. Foster of the law
college will be offered a judge
ship on th' supreme court by
President Roosevelt if the pro
posed enlargement or change in i
that body is effected, according to
an unofficial report sent here by
Marvin Mclntyre, secretary to the
"Perhaps I have been a little !
hasty in my attacks." stated Dean
Foster, who h.is been a violent
critic of the president's proposal,
when reached last night. "Further
study of a revised court leads me
to think that President Roosevelt's
plan may have some merit after
an
If he (the president i offers me
(Continued on Page 2. i
Cridiron Dinner Tonight.
I
I
LjtCrStL.TC
Will Supplant
Daily Dallying in
Campus Paper.
Annotin'.'ing a new news policy,!
the editors of the I'.uly Nebniskaii
issued what may be a i.nlepo.st m
journalistic history after hii rdi-!
torial council confab 'ediieiny ,
afternoon.
The new policy will consist, in
the main, of printing immortal!
literature in the columns once!
occupied by insignificant daily
affniis.
"We have long felt," one d the
managing editors declared, "that .
student time would he put to much
better use If they read Keats or,
Shelley during the first ten m ji-1
ute:i of morning classes instead of!
i Continued on Page 2 i
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
j,,j,i1uhiri'1",fis of tl,p Mtwiw
' Stoke Makes Denial.
I "Its a dirtv lie. Prof. Harold
W. Stoke shouted w hen control. led
with the ineriruiniiling evidence,
but added, "it's a good idea."
There Appears to 1m? enough mate
rial evidence against the profes
sor to warrant deportation.
A rfiass of communist propo
ganda and piles of revolutionary
tracts were discovered in the of
fice of Professor Aylesworth who
appears to have ix-en some sort
of secretary, historian fr rollec-
tor for the plotters. Desk, table, I
chairs, bookcases and floor were;
piled deep with all sizes and kinds
of printeil matter - many long out '
of print. Aylesworth faced with
bis own machinations said that he
had "planned for yeara to clean it j
(Continued on Page 2.) I
OSIER SUPREME
COURT JUDGESHIP
ZD
R
Satire Has Its Inning
As Journalists Dine
Ami there's going to be even
more fun tonight!
The "pillars" of old Nebraska
will be rocked in the Journalism
Gridiron banquet at the Lincoln
hotel when faculty members and
students gather for their long
awaited chance to razz each other.
The dinner starts at six o'clock
and will only wind up when a
mock university senate meeting
lias laid all within reach upon a
red-hot grill of barbed satire.
Half a dozen professors will
argue against their own subjects.
Imagine a studious philosophy
professor calling for bigger and
This Is No April Fool Joke.
PROGRAM FOR
JOURNALISM GRIDIRON DINNER
AT LINCOLN HOTEL TONIGHT
Dinner at 6 o'clock.
Fun begins at 7 o'clock.
Mock university senate opens with the 'Chancellor' presiding.
Dr. O. K. Bouwsma will speak on the benefits of athletics
and Coach W. H. Browne will present his argument for an em
phasis on philosophy.
"The Ghost of Gilbert Doane Returns". A skit.
Dean H. H. Foster will defend the younger professors and
ask compulsory retirement at 45; Dr. David Fellman will hold
out for professors older and more seasoned.
"Reform in Social Science" or "Social Science Vigilantes on
the Rampage". A skit.
Dr. L, C. Wimberly will debate affirmatively against Dr.
E. H. Bell cn "Ssience Is of More Import Than Culture".
"Cherchez la Femme". A skit.
Dr. Louise Pound will defend men and denounce women, with,.
Dr. Harry Kurz upholding the fair sex.
Unicameral Gives
$2,500,000 to N. U.
Legislative OkellS
Bill for
Campus Improvements
In 14 Minutes.
In a special session late yester
day afternoon. Nebraska's Uni
cameral legislature rushed to com
pletion ami then passed unani
mously legislative bill No. 153.049Z
granting to the University the sum
j of $2.r00,000 to be used for "im
j mediate campus improvement."
Wild with joy, legislative dignity
! was forgotten as the long-cher
ished
came
vote
ished dream of legislator and voter
nnie true. The history making
began at 5:13 o'clock, and
by 5:27 the passage of the bill was
ux.sui ed.
Legislative bill No. 153.049Z
provides that:
(1) $2,500,000 will be raised
immediately by a one cent tax
on each five cent glass of beer
said in the state of Nebraska on
and after April 1, 1937.
(2) The money will be turned
over to the Student Disbursing
committee for immediate campus
Improvement.
Six-Point Beauty Program.
The student chairman of the
Cridiron Dinner Tonight.
AHCIIITKCT SAYS
UK'S A1MAZKI) AT
CAMPUS' IUvAUIY
I .1. Arlington Biishbeatcr, pio.n
j Incut New York architect anil de
! .signer, was the guest of Prof.
' Linus Burr Smith of the local do-
partnient of architecture last Mon
I day.
Mr. IhuJibealer told a Ncbras
I kan reporter that he was amazed
to find the architectural beauty of
Lincoln all on the Nebraska cam-
pus, contrary to press utterances
made by other of his colleagues.
"The Nebraska capilol building
in atrocious; there is nothing but
, war;te space built around a long
elevator shaft." he declared.
"For real honest to goodness
, practical architecture," he ron
I tinned, "give me University hall,
j No more feasible design has been
created since me nuveni or me
crackerlKix, and the corduroy ef
fect produced by the bolt supports
l.i positively stunning!"
IN THE
I.NFIKMAKY.
Wednesday.
Prof. G. C. Walker, East
Side.
Ed Weir, North Side.
Two nurses. West Side.
Jack Ellis, (expected) South
Side.
Dismissed:
School.
Lib
better sport activities and one of
our own coaches at the university
discoursing learnedly on the bene
fits of a philosophical education.
Students in the school will do
their best to lay bare the inner
workings of the most august body
of the university. Professors,
deans and presidents will not be
spared. It will all be in fun but
it will take stamina to bear up
under the scrutinizing spotlight.
Faculty members and journal
ism students may make reserva
tions and obtain tickets at the of
fice of the School of Journalism.
Tickets for the dinner and pro
gram are seventy-five cents.
Disbursing committee, announced
the immediate beginning of a six
point program of university beau
tification. The following projects
will be started at once:
(1) More manure for the malls
will be imported from the Argen
tines at once. Only the best of
hand picked cattle will be used,
and soon the rolling pampas will
have nothing on our quadrangles.
(2) A student center for the
propagation of Communism, pat
terned after the famed Red Square
will be constructed. The Com
munist Manifesto will be engraved
on each brick of the structure.
(3) Cupids, cupolas, shrubbery,
and sundry dark nooks will be
conveniently placed on the campus.
The services of all campus cops
(Continued on Pago 2.)
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
Y'S FEATURE SALLY RAND
Plans Under Way to Bring
Fan Dancer Here.
Nebraska students may see the
famous Sally Rand in action this
spring if plans of the university
Y. M. C. A. and Y. W. C. A. ma
terialize. Attempts to bring the
well known fan dancer to the uni
versity campus" arc now being
made, C. D. Hayes, Y. M. secre
tary, announced today.
It is hoped Miss Rand can be
secured to appear the latter part
of May at one of the weekly pro
grams presented in the interest
and welfare of the university stu
dent body, the secretary declared.
A large and enthusiastic crowd
is expected to attend.
Players Top '37 Season
With Broadway Success
Miss Fontaine, Lunt Play
Title Roles in 'Jack
And Beanstalk.'
By Oliver Howard.
Playing to a packed house, the
University Players tpened their
six weeks run of the magnificent
Jack and the Beanstalk" lust
night at the coliseum. Climaxing
the most successfu' season since
1936. "Jack and the Beanstalk"
alternately thrilled and chilled the
enraptured lirst nighlers.
The play ran for 23 yeixrs six ' Lunt handled his most difficult '""V' , ' . . .
months and three days on Broad- iines in h manner rarely een in Years in which the petitioner was
way and is the collaborative rf. these parts. t required to subscribe to an
fort of Noel Coward. Sherwood Suoerb Direction j oat h renouncing his birthright, al-
Anderson. Maxwell Anderson, and, , U,PC , ' . ! leginnre to the government, and
Kuecne O'Neil. with additional 1 ,'" whn l'Hl V !1S ia,;velou' , admission of general incompeten
d.aloc bv William Shakespeare 1 lh" 'hrection v.as superb and , rVi cowardice, radicalism, and flat
and' Moliere.
I
U
vary
Burnett (jives Up Joli
i
Krom State Journal.
Chancellor E. A. Burnett, has
submitted his resignation as
Chancellor. The retirement will
take effect as soon as Sam Francis
asumes his duties as the new head
of the university.
E
IN COED FOLLIES
1,000 Beauties Take Part in
Revue at Student Union
Amphitheater.
Announcement that 1.000 New
York chorus beauties will invade
Lincoln on Feb. 30 to serve as
models in the Coed Follies spring
style review was made today by
Betty Cherny, follies chairman.
The review will be held on the
stage of the Student Union amphi
theater. Heading the list of notables that
will dim even the footlights with
their dazzling beauty will be the
famed combination of Betty Hill-yet-,
Arlene Orcutt, Charlene Omen
and Mary Fislar. Costumes rep
resenting combination salads with
salad dressing colored skirts and
shredded lettuce blouses will be
(Continued on Page 2. 1
Cridiron Dinner Tonight.
E
TO SPEAK AT TEMPLE
Socialist Candidate for
Presidency to Give
Talk Here.
No! n. an Thomas, Socialist candi
date for president in 1924. 1028
liWJ and lUSti. will speak before
the next umwrsity convocation to
be held Ihursday. April . in tne
J cmpie uieaire.
According to Prof. Harold Stoke,
chairman of the convocations com
mittee, this engagement marks a
triumph for the recognition of Mr.
Thomas' brand of political dogma
as a social force worthy of Ne
braska student consideration.
"We have always felt that the
radical fringe of the campus has
been neglected in past convoca-
i Continued on Page
I
Gridiron Dinner Tonight,
Fontaine, Lunt Score Hit.
The players were extremely for-
. ' . ., a ir I T ....I
lunate in see..rmK
Jho h:,rC as Noel Coward. John
p.arrymore. Margot. Kathcrine
Cornell. Kva LaGallienne, Leslie
Howard and Herb Ycnne.
it was keen-it was swell-It
was collosal. siupendous-one
miEht even say that it was pretty
rood. There was not a dry eye in
the audience following the touch-
ing scene where Jack leaves home.
the direction was superb
I Continued 011 Page 2.)
f 1
- : j
'U I
v- J
ASTERN CHORUS
GIRLS 10 MODEL
m
H.
BOOTS AS PREXY
All-American Takes Office
As Former Head Goes
To Ag College.
After ten years as chancellor
and more than three times that
period in the service of the uni
versity, Chancellor Edgar A. Bur
nett tendered his resignation to
the board of regents yesterday.
Sam Francis, Ail-American full
back and Olympic shot-putter,
was officially appointed to suc
ceed temporarily Dr. Burnett. The
resignation and installation will
take place immediately.
Chancellor Emeritus Burnett,
who will resume his post of some
ten years ago as dean of the ag
college, declared that he has
reached the age of supreme court
retirement.
Back to Earth.
"During the summers of my
declining years." the former chan
cellor continued, "I plan to relax
my mind by turning my back to
books and planting my feet down
into the rich black soil of dear
old Mother Earth. I will devote
my time to acting as supervisor
of the Walker grain farms where
I will aid Hiram in preparing his
entrancing products."
Sam Francis was slightly stupe
fied by the great expression of ap
preciation which the board of re
gents was extending to him by his
(Continued on Page 2)
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
Ag Group Protests Burr's
Decision to Appear in
Intersorority Ride.
After the 252nd rally in the
third stall from the right as you
enter the Horse Barn, members
of the Farmers Fair planning
board threw down their pitchforks,
made themselves comfortable on
bales of hay, and declared the first
Ag campus sitdown strike.
Clyde White, manager of the
board, pushed back his sombrero,
hitched up his overalls and issued
a statement to the candid camera
man perched on a rafter. "Fvcry
major project roaches a crisis like
this. We have decided that until
Dean Burr retracts his declaration
that he intends to ride in the in
tersority riding contest, we will
remain here. There is a proper
time and place for everything."
Roused from his slumber Darrell
! Bauder took his head out of a feed
box and led the. group in a lusty
locomotive.
Farmerette Come Prepared.
Klsie Busman and Minor Mr.
1 ,-a,i(i,,n
attractive Farmerette
noan mr.,nPrs. with
womanly
numerous
f0.t.t bought, unpacked
comforts of home, including trm
Farm House Scholarship cup and
a copy of "Be at Ka.se at a Formal
Dinner."
Karl Hedlund hid shyly behind
a horse when approached for a
statement and muttered unintel
ligibly into his red muffler.
Crowds of curious Farm Opera
tors, Dairy Husbands, ami Home
Wreckers swarmed about the
(Continued on Page 2.)
Cridiron Dinner Tonight.
COL. OlTElCUSESlO
STUDENTS FROM DRILL
Church Leaders, Assemblies
Go on Record Against
Military Science.
Kifty student petitions for ex-
cd, L.,L,L iJ.i
JU -
p - ""1 1 , . .... ,,,
J"c slu ,l"' 7" J . ,1" , " V,
r""' .K " u , .'. on
wmcn uk.-.. v..u....
assemblies have gone on ecoid
oeiinueiy oppose.. . ......
their decision on nisi uptui.
According to ( olonel Oury. these
1 feet.
SAM FRANCIS
DONS BURNETT S
r
5?
