THE nAILY NEBRASKA
N
HAND GRENADES
'LET YOUR CONSCIENCE BC YOUR
GUIDE"
Yesterday you were stunned to hear
that today you would be forced to en
dure a aulzz In history. As you had
been too busy for the last few weeks.
to worry about such trifles as history,
you decided that It was absolutely
Imperative that you call off your date
for the movies, and spend the even
ing In the pursuit of knewledge
VSchool of many cares Is made"
quoted from an epic by Gayle Vincent
Grubb see Dally Nebraskan for No
vember 11, 1918.
In accordance with the foregoing
decision, you retired to your room Im
mediately after dinner and commenced
the perusal of "many a quaint" and
curious volume of forgotten lore."
You had scarcely finished reading the
first page, when two of the girls came
In. and after conversing with you for
nearly ten minutes, Imparted the real
object of their visit, namely, to bor
row your hat and new fur neck-piece.
Again you studied. Why, WHY. did
the girl In the next room play the
ukulele so steadily? You darted in
her abode to see the cause of the ce
lestial strains. There you found the
whole gang making inroads on a great
chocolate cake! Did you linger!
Well, you are but human nearly an
hour wasted.
Again you studied. Nearly five mhv
utes passed before your next inter
ruption. One of the girls cama in tD
borrow your Lit. the Lit. book, ccr
tainly not your paper ! ! ! While she
was still shuffling around in your
note book, you were called to the tel
ephone. Of course you had to stop in
Claribel's room on your return from
the telephone booth, but you stayed
only long enough to tell her that you
had Just" been talking to Archie, and
that you were going to the Junior
prom with him.
Again you studied, but not tor long
Your room-mate came home, and for
fifteen minutes you had to listen to
her raptures about the lieutenant with
whom she had been dating the fact
that all your friends are privates did
not add to your enjoyment of the conversation.
B-1392 B-370S
LOEB'S ORCHESTRA
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Jazt Band or Boiler Shop Effects
on Request Only
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SARATOGA
RECREATION
Again you studied. Why were you
so sleepy! 'ou simply could not get
anything out of those boring books..
You remembered having once heard
that lessons could be learned by sleep
ing with the books under your pillow.
You looked at the books 'there were
five, large ones which you did not be
lieve would be very comfortable be
neath your pillow. However, It was
your belief that you should not let
pleasure Interfere with your leBson bo
you decided to let your subconscious
mind do the Vork.
NOTHIN P'TICKLER
By Jeff Machamer
Notice to exchange editors:
Please don't borrow from this col
umn,' we can't stand that sort of flattery.
It has been scientifically establish
ed, that a-cork, when held against the
bottom of a tub filled with water, will
come to the surface immediately after
being released. A simple way to keep
the cork under water, wou'd be to
fasten a brick thereft. (The latter
discovery was made last evening, by
Mortimer Spoofus, of the college of
science.)
Just because the sun seems to touch
the earth when it sets, dont' think it
hits anybody.
From a "dummy" news story, writ
ten by a member of the class in Journ
nalism: " the wheel was blown from the
freight car and it went through the
wall. of the Lincoln hotel. The wall
didn't terminate its flight and the
wheel continued through more walls
until it dropped through a ceiling and
lit on one of the eggs and demolished
it. A piece of the shell landed in a
cup of coffee and the drinker strangled
to death."
Speaking of calls; when you're down
by the river, drop in!
OFFICIAL S. A.
T. C. NOTICES
(Continued from page 1)
charge of these groups, that they will
be held responsible for the conduct of
the groups while marching to and from
study halls and during the time of
study period.
Upon any further complaint of this
nature, officers will be detailed to su
pervise the discipline of the men dur
ing study periods.
By direction of Captain Drake.
FRANK J. O'NEIL.
2nd Lt. Inf. U. S. A. Adjutant.
Must Fill Out Questionnaire
November 20. 1918.
Memorandum to Company comman
ders: You are directed to again call to
the attention of the men the fact that
several have not yet lllled out and re
turned their questionnaires to their
local boards.
Instruct them that the previous
memorandum to this effect is a mili
tary order and must be complied w'ith.
Any failure upon the part of those
men who have not already filled out
and returned "heir questionnaires to
their local boards, will resul In dis
ciplinary measures.
llv direction of Cuptaln Drake.
FANK J. O'NKIL,
2nd Lt. Ing. V. S. A. Adjutant.
TWINS CLUB SUPPORTS
FRENCHRPHANWINS
The University Twins club will meet
at the home of Esther and Ruth Jones,
1701 L street, Saturday evening. No
vember 23. All university Twtns are
urged to attend the meeting and hear
the latest French letters and to com
plete some plans regarding the
French orphan twins.
FIRST PLATOON WINS NEW
HONORS IN ANCIENT GAME
Members of Company "C" were
given a slight diversion from the usual
monotony of the drill period yester
day morning. Between the periods of
serious work, the boys were lined up
on the athletic field In platoon fdrma.
tion, where they raced through an up.
to- date form of the old time gam,. 0f
carrying the handkerchief, with the
front and rear ranks on opposite hMo
of the field, the white rag was carried
from one aide,- to the other with vary.
Ing degrees of speed. Tho first
platoon carried away the honors of
the day, with the third closely follow.
Ing at their heels.
Today Companies "C" and" "If wm
meet In competition In the aam gamp.
DR. NEWHALL COMING
FOR S. A. T. C. WORK
Captain Leslie Q. Drake, new com.
raandant of the local S. A. T. C, an
nounced last evening that he bad re
ceived word from the surgeon gener
al's office stating that Dr. New hall
would arrive at the Nebraska Univer
sity November 27, for the purposo of
delivering a series of lectures on the
subject of personal hygiene. These
lectures will be given to all the nun
In the S. A. T. C. and S. N. T. ('. ami
attendance at same will be compulsory.
At last comes the underlying rea
son for the scarcity of cloth around
and immediately below the waist line
of a sailor's jeans. It follows:
When the first pair of sailor's trous
ers were made, the machinery employ
ed thereon contained a flaw. There
had been a rain the night before, and,
due to a leak in the roof overhead,
(roofs are generally "overhead") the
machinery became wet. The Janitor
insisted on keeping a hot fire (that
variety of Janitor s now extinct) and
the machine which fashioned the seat
of the trousers, shrank! It was fas
tened to the machine on which the
cuffs are made. When the first named
machine shrank it pulled away from
the other one and the result was a
severe stretching of the cuff ma
chine. When the trousers were fin
ally ready-to-wear, well you have
observed the result. So many uses
have been found for the "bell"
J shaped effect that the flaw went un
remedied.
Two heliotroped slips of forty-five
were conversing in sn undertone.
First one: "Is my hair on straight?"
Second one: "Yes! but your teeth
droop a little on the left side."
The above story is mostly "false,'
don't believe it.
Women Faculty Members cn
Important State Committee
CHAS. N. MOON
Professor Minnie England, of the
economics department and Professor J
Sarka Hrbkova, head of the depart
ment of Slavonic languages, were ap
pointed members of a committee for
the location and management of mo
tor highways and transportation in
Nebraska at' a meeting of the High
ways and Transport axon commttee, a
branch of the state council of defense,
Tuesday afternoon: Professor Eng
lang will have chaise of the publicity
department and Professor Hrbkova
has charge of the work among the
women. Mr. George Johnson, state en
gineer, Mr. E. C. Hammond and -Mr.
W. E. Windship are the other mem
bers of the committee.
The location of several stations was
made and plans were considered for J
the management of a system of motor
trucks for short hauls.
The third axsistant postmaster gen
eral say that be will use these roads
entirely as post roads.
TBI ML
Lyon Healy "Washburn"
Ukuleles, $15.00; Leonardo
Nunet genuine Hawaiian make,
$7.50; Matina Loa brand, $4.
May be had of 12,000 leading
music dealers. IVrite for name
of the nearest dealer.
THE languorous charm of the
Hawaiian native instruments so
moving: in appeal, so observably
in vogue is strikingly characteristic
of the Ukulele. Its tone possesses that
curiously beautiful timbrethat exotic
charm of tonal quality which has
made these instruments so sensation
ally popular.
The Ukulele has a pleasing grace of
form. The finer models are made
of genuine Hawaiian Koa wood. It
is much in request today among the
smarter college and other musical
organizations.
ft is easy to learn. It price includes an
Instruction Book. '
Hawaiian Steel Guitar
Every chord struck upon this typically rep
resentative Hawaiian instrument it marked
by a weird, plaintive harmony and strangely
beautiful qualities of tone. It brings, to any
music, qualities full of vivid color and va-.
ried charm.
Price W.OO and npwaitU, lndndinr Steel and Set of TV.
TUnble lor playing, and Interaction Book.
Catalogs en application.
TO
mm
51-67. JACKSON BOULEVARD
CHICAGO