THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
lyric
Theaftetr
TONIGHT, 7 to 11 P. M.
Matinees, Wed. and 8.1, 2:15
OTIS OLIVER
And Hl PLAYERS In
IS MARRIAGE A
FAILURE"
ghows Continuous Comedy
New Features Beween Acts
No Walt Come Any Time
New Prlcee 15c 25c Any Seat
MONDAY THURSDAY
ANNETTE
KELLER MAN
, . tn .
QUEEN
of the t
SEA
Shows at 1, 3, 5 7, and
PRICES 6c, 10c arid 15c.
Big Show and Good Music
MONDAY and TUESDAY
See D. W. Griffith' Famous
Little Actress,
DOROTHY OISH
In the Charming Paramount Play
"Battling Jane"
"Nothing But Trouble"
A Rollicking Comedy .
Post's World Travelouges
Allies' Official War Review
Pathe World News .
Concert Orchestra
Jean L. Schafer, Conducor
Shows State 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, p. m.
Orpheum Circuit Vaudeville
2:15 Twice DaMy S:15
WILBUD FLORRIE -
MACK & CO. MILLERSHIP
"A PAIR OF CHAS
- O'CONNOR
TICKETS" &CmP'y of 8
"WAITING FOR HER"
News Weekly
Orpheum Orchestra
Matinees 25c, 50c.
Nights 25c, 50c, 75c.
ii - US
ft-rssr ..... ,-'
. ' ... ' ' ( r i i I t ' ' '
VAUDEVILLE
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
J. K. EMMET & CO.
In the Musical Gem
"WISHLAND"
KENNEY & RHEA
In "A Divertisement"
WELLS , CREST
n'T-HE YANKEE and the WO
In "The Yankee and the Wop"
GIBSON & BETTY
Comedy Vocalists
'HE ROSE OF WOLFVILLE"
A Merry Tale of the West
The Liberty News Weekly
Braders Price Orchesra
Tee Shows Daily 2:30, 7, 9
" 15c! Night 25c;; Gal. 15c
lilt
Society
PERSONALS
9 ' I - M V
mro. Ltuii oi Lavenwonn, Kansas,
spent the week-end with her daughter,
Estelle Lull, at the Gamma Phi Dctn
house.
Mr. Taylor, Instructor In tho depart
ment of rhetoric, Is ill at his homo in
South Dakota.
Sorority pledging will be hold Sat
urday, November 23, between the
hqurs of eleven and twelve.
Betty Rlddell spent Saturday and
Sunday In Deatrlce.
Evelyn Newbranch, who visited t't
the Alpha Phi house for several dhys.
returned to her home in Omaha Sun
day.
Lieutenant Dramer, commander of
the S. A. T. C. at Kansas University,
spent Sunday at the Kappa Sigma
house.
. Marjorle Colwell went to her homo
In Pawnee City for the week end.
Genevieve Welch, '18, of Centra!
City was In Lincoln for the week-end.
and returned to her home last night
- i
Mrs. C. M. SherWOOd Of Red ClOUd i
i . i . . m r . . 1 1 1 X- : l
at the Pi Beta Phi house.
The Chi Omegas entertained In
formally for S. N. T. C. men Sunday
afternoon.
The Achtohs entertained at dinner
Saturday evening in honor of their
alumniae, fifteen guests being pres
ent. Among the out-of-town guests
were Carrie Moodie of West Point,
Kathleen Morgan of Omaha, and Mrs.
Max Buest, who has been in Washing
ton, D. C, for the past three months
with her husband, Lieutenant Buest.
Owen Crane. '16, who was burled
Monday, is the third pharmacy grad
uated to fall victim to the influenza
within the last two weeks. Thj other
two were Harrv Prouty, '12, of the
Smith Drug company, and Mark Ely,
'14, of Hampton. Nebraska.
Wilscn Bryans, '19, spent yesterday
in Omaha.
The Achoth sorority entertained
thirty S. A. T. C. men Saturday even
ing at the Army and Navy .club under
the auspices of the War Time Commu
nity Service League. The chaperone3
were Mr. and Mrs. W. A. Selleck, Dr.
John W. Carter, Mrs. E J. Dole, and
Miss Louise Munchow
DAILY DIARY RHYMES
By
Gayle Vincent Grubb
"LEMAC"
A lot of the tappers have never known
The sight of a massive home,
With the beautiful paintings and
works of art
Like the wonderful halls of Rome
And ? Well, I'm but a common bloke
And have lived but a common life;
I never have roomed on Richman's
row
And missed all the common strife.
0
But the other day I stood at awe
In a handsome, spacious house;
As I twirled my hat with my eyes as
keen
As the headlights of a mouse.
Ah! The. beauty, and the touch of
wealth,
The magnificence galore, . .
The draperies, the Bearskin rugs,
A Camel on the floor.
That Camel! How I mused upon
Its life as there it lay;
I could seem to see the desert and
The scorching sun of day.
And here, upon the polished floor
To be trampled on by all,
It lounged and seemed to say to me:
"Come take me from this hall."
Resist? Ah, no. the call was for
Ta great for even me;
So I snuck it out the door and
As fast as I could flee.
fled
I finally stopped to lamp the beast
A trifle used but neat;
Then I lit it, drew a drag or two
And walked on up the streer.
Dollar for
boys.
uougbuuuk. i or
"Nothing to it," they said after St.
Mihiel. That's Morale.
THE MEMOIRS OF WILLIAM
HOHENZOLLERN UNABRIDGED
(Continued from pae 1)
fusion abounds!" this last in a voice
so falsetto that, had Campanninl, the
greatest director of grand woprn
south, north, east, or west of Council
muffs, hvard her, he would have in
duced her to sign a llfo-long contract
as head shrleker In all his mad scenoa
At this Juncture, R?ggie, Jr., in an
enthusiastic attempt to establish a
new Kpeed record between his plate
and the sugar bowl, overturned the
catsup bottle and sent a stream of
erstwhile tomatoes oozing across the
immaculate table cloth. At the sKhl
of this Mrs. Snooper .turned pale and
registered a corking faint.
Three minutes later, after the tra
ditional dash of cold water, Mr. Snoop
er's better half regained consciousness
and declared a state of war would
soon be brought about by a man
dressed In a soldier's helmet and a
military mustache. Glancing ut the
overturned catsup receptacle and the
crimson pool on the tablecloth, uhe
predicted mucL bloodshed.
Next day. news of the Arch Duckj
ill luck appeared on the front puge of
the SQUASH CENTER JACK-O
uaimciuiii ill uuwuiiK iicauuiiea. nuu
In tor in tho us1r tho namo medium
LANTERN in howling headlines. And
.....
announced Austria's declaration of
war on sad behalf of Serbia; thereby
confirming the tea groundb-catsup
premonition of several evenings back.
Current conditions proved aggre?
slve to Snooper's sense of inter nation
al justice and he packed his soldering
torch and monkey-wrench In a tin
traveling bag preparatory to a Jaunt
to Washington. R. T. (Note: The
"D. C." which has hitherto followed
the name, "Washington," will hence
force be entirely done away with
The "R. T." stands for "Red Tape'
and strikes the ed. as being much
more appropriate.) And with the
stony countenance conducive of dc
termination, and which snappy story
writers consistently snap about when
sending their heroes off to war, Mr
Reginald Snooper boarded a Washing
ton bound train.
Upon arriving in Washington
Snooper made haste to arrange an in
terview with Bill G. McAdoo, secre
tary of everything. The latter person
age fixed a confab between Snooyer
and his, McAdoo's, father-in-law. .
Snooper felt as much at ease in the
presence of the president as a polar
elephant would feel at a tea dansant
The executive shot a few questions,
such as: "How many rivets are used
in manufacturing the average tin
garden sprinkler?" and "Are galva
nized public drinking cups in a leper
colony less sanitary than soda foun
tain spoons anywhere?" Mr. Snooper
answered the questions as deliber
ately and as clearly as Caruso renders
"K-K-K-KATY" in "Carmen."
In view of these unquestionable
qualifications. Mr. S. was fore-with
commissioned a Lootenut in the Intel
ligence department of the Unitec
States government. A casual glance
at Mr. Snooper, however, would hardly
oaiisA nnr to ronnect Wm with that
branch of the service. He looked like
a plumber and a plumber is a plumber
whether he tries to disguise himself
JnsMo n Hress suit or no! But if th?
world harbored fewer plumbers and
radiators, more of us would be direct
ing the course of Rolls-Royces from
the rear seats, instead of steering that
wrist watch type of motor car per
sonally. Even Rockerfellow, that oily
dictator of wealth, said as he con
valesced from the shock of the amount
charged for blow-torching his Initials
in the gold stopper for his diamond
diamond-studded bath tub. "Even X. lr
mv maddest money-money -making
moment, never pulled that much!!!
Let's get back to Washington and
Mr. Snooper.
In the southeast pocket of Mr.
Snooper's jeans, on the day ho anK
ed in Washington, there rested ? 800.02.
Now the question arises, why were
m r n p w m
there $800.62 instead oi auu.oa.
I'll explain: In Chicago Snooper sent
Reg. Jr. a post card with the pic
ture of the stockyards on one siae
of it. Reggie, Jr., had always shown
a fondness for cows and the scene on
the post card. "A Sunset at me Stock
Yards." had about nine millioii cows
in It Reggie, jr., ougm. iu
cow'd for life. The card Itself cost
one cent and you know the average
price of a two-cent stamp. That's
her he three cents went, so mat
point's settled!.
FMeht hundred dollars ana sixty-two
cents, if you know Washington as I
don't, will not begin to compme with
tho purchasing power of three taw
oysters in Jur.oau, Alaska. It has been
passed around on thd quiet., that
Washlngtcnlans of npamnoarj resl
dence, pay moro for two eggs and a
waffle, than Squash Center, Nebrav
kans' pay for on Incubator! nd
when Snoopers Overseas ord rs camo
at the end of two weeks, he was down
to free lunches and park bench bou
doirs.
The overseas orders read in such a
way that he was to go to an "Atlantic
Port," which Is tho new name of what
was once New York City, and emb irk
on a Journey scheduled to terminate
at Potsdam. Reaching tho latter
place, Snooper the steuth, hastily
transformed himself into a German
laborer by eating frankfurters highly
seasoned with garlic. Ho lost no time
In presenting himself at th3 em
ployees 'entrance to Potsdam Palace,
and hiring out as the Royal Plumber
to the Most Hellish Household.
Tho editor's Btory ends at this
point. He presents, with exclusive
right, and no apologies whatsoever,
the first recognized account of THE
MEMOIRS. OF WILLIAM HOHEN
ZOLLERN written , by a plumber
whose first hand knowjedge of the
Emperor in his private haunts was
gained through an Improvised tele
phone system connecting all rooms
that contained radiators in the Palace
at Potsdam.
The first installment will appear In
an early issue, or as soon as the so
ciety editor slacks up and comes
across with some space.
HAND GRENADES
O! DEATH WHERE IS THY STING
Lots of fun reporting for the "Rag!"
You come home from school with that
great and glorious feeling of notning
to do 'til tomorrow, and go to dinner
with pleasureable anticipation of
spending twenty-two cents and the
evening at the movies, but alas! your
rosy dreams are not for long. You
are called to the telephone. The
angry voige of ye editor asks why you
have not written a story for the next
day's outburst of the paper, and in
irate tones demands that you'eome at
once to ye office and create a few col
umns of filler.
With a sigh of regret you leave your
dinner unfinished (curses! there wa3
chocolate pudding for dessert) and
execute a little marathon in the direc
tion of the campus. At the gate yon
find a stalwart guard, who wfll not
let you enter without a pass. Of course
you forgot it. The guard is most un
reasonable smiles, pleading, threat
There's Zip
HERE'S the
yell master
of them all
the campus favorite
with college colors
in stripes across
the breast and
sleeves. There
never was a more
attractive design
never a better
made, a better
styled, or a better
wearing shaker
sweater. It's a
ideal for all 'round service a big luxurious sweater
that will stand four years and more of "rough
housing" on the campus.
If your dealer doesn't sell Bradley Sweaters, America's best
Shakers, Jumbos, Jerseys, and the only genuine Kavajos, write
us for the rames of dealers who do it will pay you.
BRADLEY KNITTING CO..
ening. In fart nothing will prsuade
him to let you in, so you rate home
for tho pass.
Again you reach tho campim, and
with a withering glance, you bhow the
guard tho pasH. .You enter. Vciy
much out of breath you reach the
office where you ure greeted by tho
Icy btnres of 6ur contemporaries,
groat clouds of tobacco smoke, the
clicking of typewriters, and occasional
spasm of conversation.
You start to write, but have soma
difficulty in persuading genius to
burn. Finally said genius burns, and
glows brightly whilo you write page
after page. You hand your o.fort to
friend editor who tells you that your
writing is absolutely unreadaolo and
Insists that you type the story. Your
one-fingered struggle with the type
writer is to painful to relate. Agai-i
you give your story to the editor, who
reads It with a scornful eye, and cor
rects with a merciless blue pencil.
And then ! ! ! ! the next morning
you overhear the remark that theie
never is anything in the "Rag" and
that the reporters must be accomplibh
cd loafers. "Oh! death, where Is thy
sting?"
The man who Is looking for work
now finds "Welcome" on every door
mat.
The World's Greatest
Entertainment
A Romance of the Great War.
The Sweetest Love Story
Ever Told
An army of men to properyl pro
duce the realistic stage effects
A symphony orchestr of 20
pieces plays he most charm
ing musical score ever
written
AUDITORIUM
Today And All Week
2:15 Twice Daily 8:15
Prices, Mat., 25c to 1.00
Nights, 25c to $1.50
Seats on sale at Auditorium
Box Office
to it, Boys!
S
V
US
y
9
"I-
J
- Delavsui, Wisconsin