A I L Y NEBRASKAN
COLLEGE DAYS
James N. Hatch, '92
My Son, you've finished High School
now
To College you must go.
To learn the wiles of 'Wisdom's ways
And the things you ought to know,
To train your mind to think aright
. In things of deep portent,
So you can earn your dally bread
And pay your monthly renti
So let us sit and chat a while
About these college days,
While time la still before you
But which behind me lays,
And listen while your Father tells
Of how things used to be
When he first launched his little bark
Upon that world's great sea. '
For when he crossed the campus first
To start his College dass
Your Father was a little shy
ts'ot-used to Wisdom's ways.
And Alma Mater quite forgot
To take him on her knee
And tell him of the wondrous man
She hoped that he would be.
So Daddy ambled here and there
With wonder in his eyes.
And watched the stately Seniors ..
In open-mouthed surprise.
And every Toot he interviewed
To get n Freshman Ex.
Seemed like an angel visitant
Regardless of his sex.
But when he saw a real live Prof
Esconsed upon his throne.
With seven halos o'er his head
Which all so brightly shone.
An knew the sanctum had been
reached
Of Wisdom's real envoy.
He stood transfixed upon the spot
And wept with tears of joy.
Then gently spoke that worthy Prof
And said. "Pray gentle youth
Why dost thou weep those briny tears,
Hast thou been plucked forsooth?
O, do not let grief wring thy heart
And wet thy sun tanned cheek.
Because thy Math hath baffled thee.
Or thou hast failed in Greek."
"Full many a youth hath ventured here
To worship at this shrine.
Who proved that he were better fit
To herd his father's swine:
So that may be thy calling, lad.
Instead of abstruse learning.
To feed the pigs and mind the cows
And help about the churning."
I do not know what more was said
To close that interview.
But ere I left the halos all
Had faded quite from view;
And why I've never seen one since
May be explained away.
By saying that the styles have changed
Since that eventful day.
And I half b'lieve I would be right
If I should say to you.
That college Profs have changed a lot
Since eighteen ninety two.
A higher type of men now rule
The college faculty.
Excepting you will understand
All present company.
THE
Dutch Mill
at the Windsor
The place where
you feel at home
and get home cooking.
MRS. E. J. BEM AN, Mgr.
234 N. 11th St. Phone B-2667
Lincoln, Neb..
500 .DIFFERENT STYLES
Masquarade Suits for Rent
H. MARX
144 No. 12th B43S3
mil ' '
4: VJ
- " " " "
That night within my attic room
I had a talk with me,
I drew some resolutions up
To which I would agree,
But not one word of any plan
To keep the pigs from pining;
Of how I'd mix the food for chicks
To soothe their stomach's lining.
But then and there I vowed a vow
To push on day and night
And not admit a single thought
To shut hope out of sight;
"Go forth." said I unto myself.
' Go forth, O gentle youth
Nofstorm nor stress nor awkwardness
Can keep you from the truth."
And I have found as years have sped
That those who help us on
Are often those who most oppose
The plans that we've begun;
And you may find as I have found
To work against resistance
Will often make us stronger men
Than all our friend's assistance.
And so. my Son. as you go forth
To learn and earn your way
Keep on good terms with you yourself.
Vi matter what folks say.
And if you're told that you're no good,
Don't fly up in a fury,
But whisper to your inner self:
.' I'm from good old Missouri."
Michigan Technic.
Civil Engineering
Thou eh very ancient, the art of the
Civil Engineer dating back almost to
the origin of Dr. Maxey's puns, it is
not with a special desire that you
venerate our grey hairs that the Civil
Engineering Department comes before
you at present.
The Civil Engineering Department
at the University of Nebraska, stands
on its record in the field of original re
search and after five years of the most
painstaking effort and experimentation
is ready to announce that the falling
off in the engineering colleges through
out the United States in recent years
is due entirely to the growth of the
prepared breakfast food as an article
of diet.
The youth of today, brought up on
pre-digested grapenuts and toasted
corn flakes, wishes also to assimilate
hiseducation without effort and with-,
out thought The youth whose father
can afford to furnish him a six cylin
der auto and membership in a frater
nity of -high rollers" is not going to
run any chance of getting convolu
tions of the brain by hard study or
having to reason things out for him
self. From the few rare specimens pass
ing through the department who have
a willingness to work and a desire to
think, the Civil Engineering Depart
ment is convinced that the race of real
engineers will not become extinct till
such time as the war in Europe, or
some other such catastrophe, shall
force us back to a diet of graham
mush and cornbread.
Being Civil Engineers we are peace
loving and timid and flee from vio
lence, but let us hope that whatever
the nature of the reversion to the food
of our fathers, It comes in time so
that we of the faculty may feel that
we are also engineers and not merely
unfrocked "school manns."
Aside from the activities of the re
search worK of the department, we
are endeavoring to teach not the fifty-
seven special varieties into which the
work of the Civil Engineer is divided
today, but the elements of Civil En
gineering, to enable the ambitious stu
dent to build the foundation on which
he may later raise the edifice of his
particular specialty without fear of Its
overturning.
Essay on "Pipe" Courses
The entire subject of applied m
chanics is comparatively child's play
when compared with the stiff courses
in the Lit. department, such as
"Creative Listening." "The Novel," or
"The Theory of Modern Piano-fortes."
If A. M. 14 were an elective, thousands
would come from all over the country
to drift through it. As it Is. It is a
required "pipe." No shop work, no lab,
no drawing boards to lug around
why. not even a thorough knowledge
of theosophy, therapeutics or Spanish
31 is required before taking. All a
man has to do Is solve kindergar
ten problems, such as. "given the
radius of gyration and the moment of
Inertia, find what nn ellipsoid with
gray hair does with a pink striped
gyrostat if the action of the torque
equals the vector sum of three young
accelerations." The average engineer
uses the folowlng formula to solve
such propositions:
doll trem
rium ens
The Tally
It isn't the job we intend to do.
Or the labor we've just begun.
That puts us right on the ledger sheet
It's the work we've really done.
Our credit Is built on thins we do;
Our debits on things we shirk;
The man who totals the biggest plus
Is the man who completes his work.
Good Intentions do not pay the bill.
It's easy enough to plan;
To wish is the play of an office boy;
To do is the job of a man.
T. P. A. Magazine.
SIX
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