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THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
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.PROGRAM FOR MEDIC WEEK,
Tuesday
Medic Convocation.
Smoker.
Wednesday -" -
Fake issue of .Medic Number of the
Rag.
Thursday .
Medic Number of Rag.
Picnic.
Friday
7:00 a. m. Trip to Omaha.
VlBlt-to-Ho8pitala
Lunch at Happy Hollow Club.
Dance In Evening.
-Saturday-
Morning Clinics.
Afternoon Tennis Tournament.
Evenlqg Smoker.
MEDIC ROUGH STUFF
Euphemism.
Physician (while attending, a victim
of a street car accident and address
ing a newcomer who has presented his
business card) "I think you are an
-ambulanee-ehaBer,-aron't ynn?"
Lawyer (blandly) "That's rather a
cruel name, old man. Why not call
me a settlement worker?"
Why Not7
"Do you wish tho cured bacon?"
asked tho butcher of tho young bride.
"Well, no," she answered, "I'd
rather have some that has never been
111." Ex.
Eugenic-
Susie (ago 6) "And when we grow
up we'll be married, won't we, Tom
my?" Tommy (sadly) "No, Susie, I can't
marry Intp your family. Your father
has weak eyes and your auntie has
spasms." Free Lance.
2
THE
The Only " Class A" School in Nebraska
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Possesses a labomtorynequipmentninex ariy - other - sehool - in
f Offers clinical opportunities adequate to insure thorough and practical instruction,
Faculty composed of highly trained and practical laboratory instructors and clinical teachers
Close-personal contact between faculty and students.
A four-year high school course and two years of college work required for admission. Graduates-meet-all-re
quirements of the most exacting examining boards and are admitted to examination before the Royal
College of Physicians and Surgeons of England. '
A six-year combined course two years at Lincoln, four years at Omaha leading to the degrees B. Sc. and
M. Dr, the degrees A. B. and M. D. on completion of seven years of college work. , .
For Catalog and information in regard to admission, address, the Registrar of the University at Lincoln, in re
gard to the medical course proper, the Secretary of the College, at 42nd .and Denver Avenue, Omaha, Neb.
( 'iff-; '. ""' f
Pharmacology Class.
Prof. "What parts of tho body are
effected by phosphorus?"
1 Studo uThe-bone&-of-the-extremlty-r
partlcularly the Jaw bono. Tho dls
ease Is found in match-makers."
Ever Think of That.
, Dr .Oldboy (visiting tho University
of Nebraska) "I see you are putting
up a good many nowv buildings."
Freshman "Yes new buildings are
the only kind we put up."
Rank Plagiarism.
When he had carefully examined tho
-shoes .the. physician, liad brought In for
repairs, the German cobbler handed
handed them back, saying, "Dom shoes
ain't worth mending, Doctor."
"Very well, Hans," said tho Doctor,
"then of course I won't have anything
dono to them."
"Veil, but I charge you feefty cents
already yet." ,
"Why, what for?"
"Vy ven I come to see you do udder
day you charged me t'ree dollars for
telling me dot dere ain't noddings der
matter with me." Ex.
In the Excitement.
The young husband was pacing the
floor anxiously. Soon the nurse en
tered the room and said:
"A beautiful 12-pound baby, Blr."
Ho -approached her excitedly. "Glori
ous! Am I a father or a mother?"
Todays.
Foamercysokes.
A negro hod-carrier had been struck
by some lalllngj&affojding. First ald
was rendered and a good solution of
peroxide was used to wash out the
wound. As the foaming liquid ran
down his face", the colored laborer was
heard to exclaim: "Say, boss, my
brains 'am oozen out and runnin' down
my face."
?
UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA
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Trying It on the Dog.
Wifo "Oh, John, dear, haven't you
got a headache?"
Husband "No, why?"
Wife "Oh, I'm so sorry. 1 lmvo a
now headache powder here I wantod
to try." Puck.
A 8mall Disease.
"Oui, madamo Is ill, but zo doctor
half pronounced it Bomezing most
trifling, very small," saldTlho French
maid to an inquiring friend.
"Oh; I am bo roltovcdr-for I was-
really anxious about hor," replied tho
friend. "What does the doctor say
tho-troublojBl"
"Lot mo recall. It was somczing
tres petite very little," answered tho
maid. "Oh, I havo It now! Zo'doctor
Bay zat madame has zo small-pox."
Qne Blessing at Least.
CaBey had been ill moro than a
week, whon his wifo mot Mrs. Murphy
on tho street, and tho following con
versation ensued:
"Mrs. Casey, and how is your hus
band gettin' along?" asked Mrs. Mur
phy: " -
"Ah, lndado, Pat Is a very sick mon,"
Bald Mrs. Casey.
"Sure, and what 1b the matter with
him?" Inquired Mrs. Murphy.
"TIs the gangrene, tho doctor tolls
us, Mrs. Murphy."
"Oh, that's bad," said Mrs. Murphy;
"but let's praise the Lord for tho
color." Ex. - - .--
-A- 8lck-Lamb.-
Doctor "Well, how Ts tho patient
thlB morning?"
Broker "Fine, Doc. My tempera
ture slumped three points last night,
but rallied this morning, and now Is
above par!" Judge.
allege of
OMAHA
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Michigan.
Tho Student Council, In a special
mooting, passed a resolution for tho
delegation of judicial powors to a
Bmall body. Tho plan was to olect a
Jury of six members, from a group oft
fifteen men appointed by tho presi
dents of tho two upper classes. The
purposo of tho Jury is to decldo In Im
portant trials of disorderly conduct
and other Important trials.
Niels H. Dobol, A. B. Nebraska 1913,
has accepted a scholarship in tho do
nartmont of Political Sclonco In the
Unlvorslty of Illinois for tho coming
yoar. Mr. Dobol graduated last year
with high Phi Beta Kappa honors. Ho
W5B n icholar In thtr tlopartment vt
Political Sclonco and Sociology during
his senior year and Is at present a
follow in tho same department, Mr.
Dobol takes his master's degree this
year. Ho oxpocts to work for his doc
tor's degree In the Univorslty of Illi
nois. Texas.
Tho Collegiate Suffrage Association
has been organized at ToxaB Univor
slty by about two hundred womon
students. It Is a distinct and separate
organization and is In no way afflll
atod with the local chapter of rtho
W.oman Suffrage League Member
ship Is restricted to college students
and graduates only.
Missouri.
Tho faculty of tho Arts and Sclonco
College of Missouri havo adopted a
rule whoroby thoy oxpect to Impress
upon tho minds of tho students that
regular attendance at classes is abso
lutely necessary and essential fcflho
best results. Tho rulo stipulates that
for every seventeon absences a stu
dent will loso one hour crodit. Ab
sencoB amounting to ten or more, and
Iobs than seventeen, In one Bomoster
may bo carrlod over to tho next so-
1 sW "
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(Continued from Pago Six)
Tho peoplo back homo understand
how thoy havo boon botrayod by tholr
roprosontatlvoB,
TJioy roalizo that money taken from
thorn by congroBB has been tniaappro"
prlated.
Thoy will insist that tho national
dofonso bo conducted d.b the flghtors
want It conducted, not sacrificed to
provldo funds for tho voto buyors.
Tho unnecessary deaths at Vora
Cruz will savo a greater number of
llvos on n greater occasion.
-Degrees
Crawford "If you don't bollovo in
modlcino, why don't you try tho faith
euro?"
CrabBhaw 'My boy, I find that
ovon harder to swallow." Judge,
TROP in for
IS a sociable
game of bill
iards. $$$;:
Thc Saratoga
Smith & Hurst
FIRST CLASS
BARBERING
112 N. 13th Street, I
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- the - United - States. -
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of wide experience.
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