m "".fl THE DAILY NEBEA8KAN AWAY WITH THOSE ANNUAL BEAR STORIES u i, HOW TO BE A HUMORI8T. (Continued from Pago 5.) comoH known that you aro writing humorouB thlngH people will want to nHfllHt you by relating funny remarka their children have made or by giving you accounts of ridiculous experiences they or their friends have had. Listen to them patiently, but never use the material they offer. If you ever at tempt to put nny of It across you will be noeused of plagiarism. Whether thcRo helpful people Imagine that the HtorleH they tell wgro really Invented by their children or whether they be lieve they or members of their families have had the curious experiences they describe, shun them. They may bo honest Give them the benefit of the doubt and write out of your own imag ination and your own experience only. There Is a tradition concerning hu morists that must not bo overlooked. Tf you lmvH hopefuli tuHiny-dtaposl Hon and a smiling countenanco do not nttempt to earn your living as a writer or humor To be successful In this line of endeavor you must acquire a dole ful expression, have a disordered liver and be constantly In debt. A good old lady who had become In terested in the work of a certain hu morist decided, one day, that she would like to meet him and tell him person ally how much he had done to fill her life with cheer Having sought out Hie newspaper office in which he was kept, she asked where he could be found and was told by the elevator man that if she would get off at the fourth floor she might be fortunate enough to encounter him So she got off at the floor mentioned and walked a'ong the hall, looking into the various editorial ofll eh Finally she saw sit ting at a desk a man who seemed like ly to be the humorist Stepping Into the room where he was at work, she said- "I beg our pardon. Are you the humorist '" "No. ma'am," he replied, "I'm not I suppose I look liko the humorist be cause m house burned yesterday and I had no insurance." If you desire to become a humorous writer, find a place where you can sell all that you produce, learn to see and describe the funny side of everything, and look like one who had lost all hope The rest will be easy. It has never been explained why football coaches each fall Issue a lot of bunk about the hard luck which faceB their team. Injuries, failures to return, and all the rest of the bear stuff has grown tiresome, and the man who reads the stuff believes perhaps half of it. Nebraska has been as bad as other schools In allowing stuff of this Bort to be made public. Kansas Is probably tho worst In the valley. Each season It has a hospital list made up In advance and sees that It Is given tho fullest (publicity. Thus far the Jay hawks have managed to disappoint tho rooters who from the dope expected to seo the eleven hobble onto the field under the guldancor of a corps of doc tors and trained nurses. It is choaj? and worthless advertising, this bear dope. Evening News. Leslie (Judge) Welch leaves for his home In Wayno today, where he will spend a week before returning to school. Woman's Dress. Nevei within our living memory has woman's- dress been more attractive than it is today The soft lines, the tunic-like garments, loose and open at the throat, surely make for a comfort to which woman is too often a stranger. Ilariing certain small exaggerations, It Is all fairly simple, too, and vastly more "becoming than most of the fashions of yesteryear Our masculine perception may be much beclouded, but should not these three points comfort, attractive ness, simplicity be the cardinal ones In dress? Until the age of paper clothes, foretold by Bellamy, arrives, the present fashion seems a very pass able interregnum. We only wish that woman, so active and alert In her more than dawning independence, were firm and independent enough to hold to a fashion that Is good until she Is cer tain of a better and not foolishly, sheepishly, yield to a worse. Collier's. Mr. Ellsworth Davis, '08, married Miss Anna Scott of Spencer, S. D., during the summer. WANTED Five good hustling Uni stu dents at Ludwig's, the Big Uni Tail ors, 1028 O st. 2t Say Old Man Where did you get - that -SWELL SUIT ? Why! Down at KLINES! How much ? ? (Sshh) $15.00 You don't say ! ! Yes! They are sell ing Suits there that other Stores ask $20.00 and $25.00 for. Guess I will get me one at KLINE'S 1132 0 Street A Pair of Smart English Boys JUST THE SHOE Muhic. Louis Hageaetck. Auto F-2042 ' Head-tO-FOOt-OutfiittTS-tO-Meil. TOR YOUNG MEN- Note the low heels, flat receding toes, wide heavy shanks, the blind eylets, the smart lines. Built for men who know quality goods. Put together right and made of the right materials. May be had in TAN RUSSIAN CALF and GUN-METAL CALF. We can fit you now. Prices $5.00, $6.00 and $6.50 pr. -MEN'S SHOIlS- Main Floor. MILLER & PAINE The roomiest and best ventilated theatre in the city THE MAGNET .... Lincoln's Newest Theatre .... -:- 1511 O Street -:- Shows only the latest and most up-to-date moving pictures We Cater to Student Trade Our Dining Room is Complete to serve you anything in the Eatable Line. Open after the Shows, Dances and Parties. We make our own Ice Cream, Sherbets and Punches for Parties. THE FOLSOM CAFE 1315-31 N St. :: Lincoln, Nebraska it r T