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XTbe Inconveniences of Boarbing S)ut.
Old Grad Instigates a Charivari and Then Concludes to Move
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r "In the light of several
little ad- I
ontures that havo come to my notice
of late In wnlch you have taken a
prominent part, I had' not supposed It
neecBEary to caution you on any sub
ject connected with the problem of
graft," the Old Grad began, aB he set
tled comfortably among the cushions
of the Sophomore's sofa and helped
himself to a liberal pipeful of the lat
ter's fine-cut. "But 1 have been forced
to the conclusion recently that how
ever officious you may be In the af
i
fairs of your fellow students, you are
singularly lacking In that self aggres
siveness and independence which have
oecome synonymous for the term Soph
omore. "I did not suppose, when I advised
vou to move from your late appart
ments that you would permit yourself
to be Inveigled Into taking such quar
ters as these. I admit that they are
clean and fairly well furnished, but the
noise, my eon. Is something scandal
ous. There Is a vast difference In be
ing In a joint where- there Is so con
tinuous a racket going on that one
cflrt not enjoy living, and in being
wherG ther6 Js such a dearth of noise
that one's very hands Itch to smash
the furniture ill order to furnish some
excitement. Impose on others all you
wish to uphold the honor and tradi
tions or1 your class, If for no other rea
son, but don't, as you value ancient
Sophomore history, permit others to
impose on you.
"What's that? The landlady is re
sponsible for the most of tho noise?
She quarrels with her boarders, does
she? I see 1 must ndd ortcther chapter
to the series of remlnlsences which I
have from time to time related for
your bcnOfhV'
The Old rad paused, and again filled
his pipe from the Sophomore's box.
Then he slowly lighted It, and puffed
thoughtfully for a fow minutes, while
be collected his remembrances. Pres
ently he continued.
"I once roomed in a joint verv Hm
llar to this one. It was Mean, well
' furnished unci the rent was vciy roa-
sonable. The landlady was a widow of
rather strenuous disposition aim spent
a good share of her time in- quarrel
ing with her boarders. I was a Sopho
moie at that time and ddd my utmost
to deserve the bitter complaints Which
she constantly voiced concerning my
conduct, but she -was not satisfied. The
house was so noisy I could not study,
yet bhe accused me of making a large
share of the disturbance. I protested, her
allegations were ill founded, and was
forced to spend most of my timo in
the library In order to keep up with my
work at all. My wounded spirit cried
out for vengeance. It soon came.
"Along with her other most estima
ble qualities the landlady had a weak
ness for 'lodges. Tho fact that the
1 paternity to which her husband had
belonged during his unhappy lifetime
had beaten her out of tho -life Insur
ance at his death, did not abato her ele
ction to the institution and' frequent
ly bho Invited members of the lodge to
hold thelrrtiatomury pow-wow& at her
huibp.
"it was on these occasions that life
seemed darkest to me. It was at these
times that tho library hold me fast
within its walls. Then did my anger
rise, audv jaws1 set with determination.
"One night tho crlBis came. It was
late, and I waB returning to my room
with bright anticipations of a quiet
hour of study amid tho sonorous snores
of the household. But, alas, as I
ineareti the house, ray hearj. sank with
in. Another pow-wow was on. Every
window sihone with light and loud1 wa?
tho merrymaking. I sank down on tho
doorstep In despair.
"Soon, however, my notice was at
tracted to a crowd of small boys wh,
Jiad been dirawn by the celebration. I
had an inspiration. I 'walked down to
the gate and called to them.
" 'What's the matter with you kids 7'
All Students Look Alike to Us
Whether they belong to a Frater
nity or not Jewelry at low prices
for everyone Special attention to
repairs.
FRANK O. RICHARDS
JEWELER 1028 Q
arked. 'There ain't any cops down
this way. Don't you know a wedding
when you see one? The old gent's got
a whole stack of bananaB and flgars
In there. Why don't you ginger upT'
"For a minute they stared at me In
silence. Then with a wild howl of
delight thoy were off, and I sought the
shelter of my room to await develop
ments. They were not long In com
ing. Soon the most infernal racket
that ever met my cars rose from the
street. 'Tick-tacks' beat against the
window rants. Rosin cans screeched
on the doors. Tin pans, horns, a wheezy
trombone, a broken snare drum, and
other contrivance? beyond my powers
of desciiptlon contributed to a din that
all but deafened me. Even then the
racket was added to by the terrified
screams of the company below. Sev
oinl ladles fainted, and the joinalnder
were In hysterics.
"I sauntered down stairs and sought
jut the landlady from the howling mot
In the dining room. 'Mrs. Black.' J
bald, putting as much severity as pos
sible Into my voice. 'Mrs. Black, do
you expect your boarders to submit
to such disgraceful proceedings as these?
I have remained in your house several
weeks already much against my will,
and merely out of consideration for
your white hairs. But my patience is
exhausted. You may seek another
boarder tomorrow.
' I must admit that I was staggored
at her reply. 'Thank Heaven!' was all
she said.
"But my rivenge was accomplished.
I allowed my kids to continue the
charivari with unabating fury for
about a hnlf-hour, and by that time
most of the guests had sought retreat
by the back door. Then I stole softly
out and explained that the Broom was
'tight' and 'refused to dough-up.' So
we went down to the Dago fruit store
on tho corner and everyone 'had some
thing' on me. Next day the boarders
left in a body. I guess that's all,' and
the Old Grad knocked the abhes from
his pipe.
The Band at Chapel
A crowded chapel listened attentive
ly to the excellent music furnished by
the University band. Tho pieces rend
ered were inspiring and' especially plea
sant to the musical ear.
These entertainments furnished from
time to time by the band are an im
portant and Interesting part of our con
vocation programs, and the crowded
hcusc to greet them on ever occasion,
together with the hearty applause that
follows each rendition speaKs volumes
of praise and appreciation from the stu
dent body for the excellent musical
talent displayed.
The leader as well aB the players aro
certainly deserving of much credit for
tho high standard of music furnished
on all of these occasions, and1 we should
8howQuranpreclatlon by our presence
at every event.
These lively pieces have a tendency
to lighten the overworked mind and
i-tir the man to lotty Ideals, when thoy
carry him away for a few moments
from tho drastic drudgery and regu
lar routine of school work.
Successful Round Table.
The round tahlo conducted by John
L. yebster of Omaha last Wednesday
evening was ono of the most Interest
ing events of the State Historical so
ciety meeting. The subject for discus
sion was the constitution of 1875.
Among those present who took part
in tho framing of that constitution
were Judge Broady, Judge Reese, Judge
PoundanduJjidjgtL-GfirO Many ques
tlontf wcro asked! of members present
and many interesting Incidents wore
brought out In connection' with It. One
of the noticeable features of the meet
ing was that tho twenty-eight years
that had elapsed 'since the framing of
the document had made 'the memories
of thpse present who took part In the
convention somewhat vague, so that
at various times thoy were unable to
agree.
Sam's Cafe. The only place ln the
city to get 'the famous "Little Gem
Hot vafflOB".,f. '-Special EsirvIcVffcC Isv
WEBSTER
, wrErownoNAL
NW EDITION
DICTIONARY
NEW M.ATE3 THROUGHOUT
Now Added 25,000 NEW WORDS, ihi, Etc,
Rich Bindingo ? 2364 Pagoo 5000 Illustrations
Prepared under the nupervlnlon of W. T. Harrlo, Ph.D., LL.O.f UHed Statci
Commissioner of Education, assisted by o largo corpi of competent ajMolaJtottv
BETTER. THAN EVER FOR GENERAL V&2,
Alio Webster'o Collegiate
' Tint c:ta in
Collegiate Alumni Meeting
Tho Nebraska branch of the Collegi
ate Alumni nsoclatlon met yesterday
afternoon with Mrs. A. O. Warner. 1019
R Btreet. Tho leading feature of the
program was a talk by Mrs. W. O. L.
Taylor. In which she gave a descrip
tion or n iccent trip to New OrlennH,
and nn account of tho American Econ
omic association, which met at New
Orleans during the holidays. The Na
tional Association of Collegiate Alumni
was organized in 188D-UO, nnd is ouo
of tho active societies of tho day. The
Nebraska branch of this association
meets on tho second Friday of each
month. Any alumnus of the Univer
sity of Nebraska or; of any college or
university of equal) rank Is eliglblo to
membership. Tim-present officers are:
President. Mrs. "Frank II. Woods; sec
retary. Miss Comptou.
Box of cigars given away overy day
at Powell's, Oliver thcatro building.
Wright Drug Co., 117 No. 11th.
Don Cameron's
good service.
lunch counter
Lincoln Local Express, 11th and'N.
Tel. 787. Baggage hauled.
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