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i
The Conservative *
Three pages of
HIS EXACT fulsome eulogy for
MEASUREMENT. ii deceased an
archist in another
shite ; three lines of cold mention for
the foremost citizen of his own shite.
A man's character may bo judged by
the character of those ho most ad
mires.
So 1 o n g as the
NOT CONVINCED , packers continue to
furnish butchers
with meat at a cheaper rate than they
can buy it on the hoof at present
gold-standard prices'those skeptically
inclined will continue to doubt that
the beef crust is really and truly an
octopus , but it may be a venal vam
pire or something of that sort.
The free selling of
HEATHENISH Chinese indemnity
MONEY. silver has pounded
down the market
price until the actual bullion value
of a shining dollar is just forty cents.
In periods of opulency the silver
standard is an unfaithful servant ; in
hours of dire extremity , it is a tyran
nical master , but the Chinese are not
the only people who have not yet
discovered those facts.
T o w n o emerges
NEEDLESS EX from the woods to
PLANATION. remark that he is
not a candidate for
the presidency and lias no well-de
fined idea who will be nominated.
Nobody has thought of Towne for
so long that it is difficult to see why
he finds it necessary to defend him
self against such an accusation ; and
as he has never been accused of
resting under the suspicion of being
suspected of over having entertained
even the pale shadow of a well-de
fined idea , the second part of his ex
planation is likewise incompetent and
immaterial.
Preturuat u r a 11 y
SAVAGE. good and wise repub
lican editors have
forced Governor Savage to abdicate.
He has been made the victim of some
ignorant criticism , more deliberate
misrepresentation and vindictive
abuse , and still more shallow , dema
gogic politics.
In penning the announcement of
his withdrawal the governor is so
evidently sincere in stating that ho
has nothing to apologize for in con
nection with the pardon of Hartley ,
that a great many doubters have been
convinced by reading it that he
thought the pardon justifiable under
the circumstances. What one of the
clamoring horde of critics has a but
ter acquaintance with the circum
stances ?
James K. Jones'
FLIMSY EXCUSES , explanation of his
intimate associa
tion with the corporation formed for
the purpose of promoting the round
cotton bale , bears a faint resemblance
to the statement of the Nebraska
divine who bowled ton-pins and
played billiards , justifying his ac
tions by asserting that he hated to
turn these places of amusement en
tirely over to the devil. Jones evi
dently went into the trust to reform
it , and was compelled to rake off a
few dividends , just to avoid suspi
cion.
Secretary Shaw , in
PSHAW ! SHAW , a gushingly confi
dential mood , very
truly says : "If the door set ajar in
the spring of 189(5 ( by the unanimous
vote of both houses of congress ever
swings wide on its hinges , the United
States will police not only the street
on which it lives , but the entire
western hemisphere , and with it all
countries and all islands of the
Pacific. "
No doubt America will do all of
that ; but are there not more pleas
ant and remunerative callings than
that of a policeman ? From what
chapter of history , from what utter
ances of great men , by what process
of reasoning do we gather the con
clusion that it is America's duty to
serve as the world's volunteer scav
enger , taking her pay in Mauser pro
jectiles ?
The staff and line
SUBMARINE are still quarreling
CRAFT. over the introduc
tion of the submar
ine boat into naval warfare. The
staff officer , being a theorist , sees the
obvious advantages which the under
water torpedo boat possesses over sur
face craft , consequently always favors
it. The officer of the line , being
pre-eminently a fighter , feels a sol
dier's natural repugnance to the
skulking tactics which a plunger
must employ , so always has , and
quite probably always will , dislike
to be liable for service on this type
of vessel.
The next international peace conference -
ferenco could perform a good work by
eliminating this obnoxious craft
from the world's navies , thus insur
ing honest , open and literally aboveboard -
board marine battles.
Governor C u m-
ANOTHER. mins , of Iowa , an
erstwhile protec
tionist who has freighted the playful
zephyrs of his state with eloquent
pleas for tariff-in-the-highest legis
lation , has at last struggled to the
surface and taken a look about him.
Evidence of this may be found in the
following :
"I have long been a most devoted
adherent of the principle of protec
tion , and my zeal for it has increased
rather than diminished with the pro
gress of time. Nevertheless , I be
lieve tha4 ; the consumer has a bettor
right to competition than the pro
ducer has to protection. Competition
we will have , that of-our own coun
try preferred , but that of the world
if necessary. "
The very boldness of the sugges
tions of this notable apostate may
startle the devoted guardians of the
infant industries ' for a moment , but
if the alarmed ones do not shy too
far away from Mr. Cummins' state
ment before examining it , the logic
of his remark that "the consumer has
a better right to competition than the
producer has to protection" cannot
fail to make an impression , even upon
those who worship the tariff , as a
Christian worships his God.
McKinley , Roosevelt , Grosvenor ,
Cummins. Next !
The extreme cau-
DELICATE tion observed by
SITUATION. American commanders -
manders in treating
with the Mores promises temporarily to
avert a threatened war , which is only
viewed with contempt by those un
familiar with the fanatical character of
the inhabitants of Mindanao.
Those who have come in contact with
the bloody-minded Mussulman ; who
know his fierceness and his stubborn
ness in warfare , are gratified to learn
that there will be no attempt to make
Mindanao , like Samar , a "howling
wilderness" strewn with the corpses of
its obstinate defenders , and obscured by
the smoke of burning villages.
At present it is probably impossible
for the Dattos , whose positions as rulers
are none too secure , especially when
there is blood in sight , to accede to the
American demands ; but , if given time
in which to cool the hot blood of their
bellicose subjects , they may be able to
arrange for the turning over of those
who took part in the massacre of a
squad of American engineers a few
weeks ago.
Diplomacy may , without endanger
ing American prestige , gradually ac
complish results that tons of war muni
tions would fail to attain. As to teach
ing the Moro a lesson that will last ,
that is impossible , as , like the American
Indian , he remembers punishment as an
injury to be avenged , not as a merited
chastisement , a repetition of which may
be avoided by a proper observance of
the laws laid down by his white
brother.
