V
The Conservative ,
This man Ohrist-
FARCICAL. mas is an ignorant
Dane who does not
seem to know exactly what he wishes
to do or how he wishes to do it. His
attorneys now admit that no money
was used to influence congressmen ;
neither was a cent expended in bribing
the associated press. This being ac
cepted as the truth , what is the reason
for all this turmoil , and why the inves
tigation ? To sum up the case , Denmark
hired no one to sell the islands , and
Christmas & Co. bribed no one to buy
them. The Conservative has learned
nothing since to alter the opinion ex
pressed last week , that the matter is one
in which the United States has no con
cern , and there is no reason for an in
vestigation nothing to investigate.
Cecil Rhodes , a
STRONG IN cold , close , hard ,
DEATH. stern , relentless ,
unyielding , miser
ly ruler of men and things ; a man
who possessed influence with his
countrymen , and used that influence
solely for his own benefit ; a builder
of an empire in which he held no
office , yet influenced for evil ; a
scheming adventurer , who thought
first of his purse , second of his own
comfort , and of his country or his
fellow-man never. That was the
Cecil Rhodes we knew in life.
But the canvas has shifted and a
new face appears in the frame ; or is
it the same face in a different frame ?
A man who gave the bulk of his
hard-earned fortune for the advance
ment of British interests and the en
lightenment of British dependents ;
an alert , energetic , courageous , tena
cious , patriotic citizen who spent
the better part of his life laboring for
the upbuilding of his country and
the intellectual advancement of hun
dreds of thousands of her subjects.
That is the new Cecil Rhodes who
was introduced to us by the Angel of
Death. Honor to his memory , and
honor to the man who is with and
for his country ; who holds her in
terests nearer and dearer than those
of his own beloved kith and kin ;
who works for her while idle men
find nothing better to do than to
criticise him ; the man who does
things , the man who even dares do
wrong for the flag and the country
of his heart rather than do nothing
at all. Such men make good coun
tries and good citizens to inhabit
them. Such a man is Cecil Rhodes
who sleeps his last sleep wrapped
in a tattered flag of Old England
which he had carried with him in all
of his travels , and upon the cover of
his bier the cap and gown in which
he took his degree in an old English
college. This is the man who did
things. May he be condemned only
by those who have done better.
The Conservative
SAVAGE. does not favor the
re-election of Gov
ernor Savage ; neither does The Con
servative oppose him. Our only con
tention is that circumstances fully
justified the pardon of Bartley. Fur
ther than that nothing.
The farce-comedy
JONES. "What Happened
to Jones" made
quite a hit in New York , but would
probably not make any decidedly favor
able impression in Arkansas , for the
people down there seem to think they
know exactly what happened to Jones ,
and how it happened to happen.
After all , of what
HIGH TIME. account is it to be
called a captain of
industry , if it is only an infant industry ?
But is it ? The mother's breasts are
about run dry ; she has grown weak and
emaciated , and there are other certain
indications that the infant must be
weaned. The poor dear is too heavy to
carry , and must be .told to either walker
or creep , as suits him best.
It is explained that
JEKYLLAND HYDE. Richard Croker , of
Irish extraction ,
prefers to live in England , because there
he is relieved from the strain of receiv
ing the old friends of his youth , who
have since his ascendancy fretted him
with their importunities for advance
ment. Seemingly , he is by no means
proud to mix with his former boon com
panions ; it is to escape them that he de
serts America for England. No names
are given , but it is supposed that one
notorious Dick Oroker is the person
whom the Honorable Richard Croker
particularly desired to avoid.
Twenty-seven years
RETRIBUTION , ago g r ass-hoppers
destroyed Nebraska
crops. Nebraska has been waiting for
a chance to even things with the locusts
ever since , and at last the opportunity
is offered. Disease germs of a fungus
kind will be bottled and sent to farmers
in all parts of the state. The farmer
will place in the bottle several dozen
grass-hoppers , the number depending
upon the amount of labor he is willing
to donate to the good cause. The lo
custs will quickly become infected ,
when they will be released , with the ex
ception of a few which will be allowed
to die , and will afterwards be used to
spread the disease among other hoppers
which will be captured and placed in a
box with them. This endless chain will
destroy the hoppers , and the pioneers of
the early ' 70s , who saw their crops
devoured by the hungry pests , will at
last see the crime avenged. The fungus
has been used in South Africa with
marked success.
At Juarez , Mexico ,
IT CROPPED OUT. a bull turned the
tables on his tor
mentors , and cleared the field , fatally
wounding the chief matador , and dis
turbing the program generally. The
American spectators cheered the bovine
hero lustily , and refused to stop when
the sullen Mexicans attempted to hiss
them down. This out-cropping of the
American love of fair-play in combats ,
nearly caused a race war , but it saved
this particular bull.
In the failure of
BATHHOUSE its attempt to defeat
JOHN. John Coughlin , bet
ter known as "Bath
house John , " the municipal voters'
league of Chicago , has lost considerable
prestige. Practically abandoning the
other men who secured its endorsement ,
the league threw all of its power into
the fight against Coughlin , who was
pictured as the embodiment of all that
the leaguers detest. He was elected ,
however , and worse , he received nearly
three thousand majority. This will
probably cause some doubt to arise as
to the potency of the league's endorse
ments. It may even lend color to the
often expressed idea that in Chicago
the endorsement of the law and order
faction is detrimental to the interests of
a candidate. This view receives sup
port from the fact that those candidates
whom the league endorsed , but made
no particular effort to elect , were tri
umphantly elected nearly to a man.
In Now York City
A COUP. it has been the habit
of those in authority
to deliver air-tight orders to police
men , orders which are never intended
to be obeyed , and which no one is
ever punished for ignoring ; and
when indignant citizens protest that
laws are being openly violated , the
officials lay the blame on the poor
patrolmen , and claim that it is im
possible to secure a force that will
implicitly obey orders. Last week
about forty policemen in one district
did something which had not oc
curred before within the memory of
the oldest inhabitant. They obeyed
orders. They went out on their
beats and arrested eighteen men in
one small precinct for alleged infrac
tions of the excise laws. Whether
or not any convictions are secured ,
or such breaches of discipline are al
lowed to continue , the patrol is
vindicated. Never again can those
in authority hypocritically sigh for
pure , incorruptible men on the force.
The citizens know what the police
would like to do if they were al
lowed to humor their inclinations ,
which may eventually lead to their
being permitted to do so.
