Conservative. 5
r *
lu his maiden
UNCOMPLIs p o o o h Senator
MENTARY. Dietrich argued
that the Filipinos
are surely friendly , because certain of
the dusky senoritas danced with Gen
eral Funston , Without touching upon
the virtues of the astute gentleman's
aigument , it is certainly no compli
ment to Funstou's terpsichoreau abil
ities to assert that to dance or not to
dance with him is the crucial test of
the mestizo belles' loyalty. A com
mon mortal seems to see why a school
girl might one-two-three over the
waxed floor , even with Fuustou , with
out Being particularly desirous of be
ing annexed to the United States , but
perhaps the perspicacious mind of the
potent , grave and reverend legislator
sees things that are not to us re
vealed.
Minister Wu Ting
UNREASON- Fang , in his late im-
ABLE. promptu debate with
Ex-Mayor Phelanof San
Francisco , advised the latter to "go
away back off the earth and sit down , "
which feat of aerial balancing the dig
nified Californian discourteously refused
to do. Mr. Wu certainly has room to
be provoked that his countrymen , no
matter of what grade or condition should
be excluded from America , and for
China to retaliate by excluding all
Americans would be but simple justice ,
as it is no more proper for the two races
to mix upon the other shore of the Pa
cific than upon this side ; furthermore ,
if we have the right to appropriate a
large proportion of the earth's surface
for our own exclusive use , the Celestials
certainly have a similar sovereignty
over their own already sadly overpopulated
lated domain. Yet we think it unrea
sonable in Mr. Wu to ask an American
of prominence to perform aerial contortions
tions which to date have only been at |
tempted by M. Santos Dnmont. I
Prince Henry
EXIT HENRY , has come and gone ,
taking with him
many good wishes and pleasant evi
dences of the esteem in which he is
held by those who lately had the
honor of entertaining him , and leav
ing behind him as many pleasing re
minders of his visit. Of all the many
speeches with which he was regal.ed
or bored while touring the country ,
that of Mayor Rose , of Milwaukee ,
stands out pre-eminently the best.
While the prince was the recipient of
fulsome flattery from some quarters ,
and no doubt the faint , distant cries
of "flunkyism" and "toadyism"
were wafted to his royal ears from
other directions , Mayor Rose's speech
is the golden mesne between the two
extremes : snobbishness .and bigotry.
Conceding to the .people of the Ger-
manEmpiro their inalienable right to
adopt and continue ( or , at least tolerate
erate ) such form of government fas
they may , Mr. Rose points proudly
to American laws and institutions ,
and portrays the Yankee as "the
ruler of his own djestiuy ; the king of
his own fortune ; the lord of his own
. ' ' The entire
manor. speech rings
with true patriotism , yet passes no
criticism upon the peoples of other
countries who are as loyr.l to their
own forms of government , and those
who execute them. ,
You have all
AN OLD TRICK , seen the man
who goe& to the
circus simply because the children wish
to see the elephant , and he has to go
along to take care of the children , and
many a woman has purchased corn
salve or hair dye ' 'for a friend" which
was surreptitiously used by herself. In
this connection we quote the following
from The Commoner :
"A reader of The Commoner desires
to know where he can find a book en
titled'The Way Out of the Wilderness. '
If any one knows and will send the in
formation to The Commoner on a postal
card , it will be forwarded to the in
quirer. "
We suggest that inasmuch as it is
possible that the "inquirer" is really not
a myth , janjone having the book had
best send two copies , as there is room for
real apprehension that if only one
is sent , it will never get out of The Com
moner office.
March 17 , 1903 ,
SIXTY-FIVE Ex-P resident
YEARS OLD. Grover Cleveland
j is sixty-five years
of age. His political record as Mayor
of Buffalo , Sheriff of Erie county ,
Governor of the state of New York ,
and President of the United States ,
"heightens as the years roll over it.
There has been no man in public life
in this country during the last one
hundred years who has served the
people with a more disinterested and
patriotic purpose. Practical politi
cians , trimmers , moral cowards , and
opportunists generally , deserted Mr.
Cleveland , because during his last ad
ministration ho pronouncedly adhered
to commercial freedom and honest
money. Perhaps he ought to have
vetoed the so-called Wilson Bill ? It
was not like him to permit the bill to
become a law without either vetoing
or without signing it. The judgment
of the editor of The Conservative was
against permitting the bill to become
a law at all and .in favor of its veto.
Subsequent events seem to ratify and
approve that judgment.
Few men , however , can celebrate a
birthday this , year with a more ap
proving conscience than can Grover
Cleveland , and few Americans com
mand so universally the respect , and
admiration and confidence of the best
citizenship of the republic of the
United States.
Mr. Aster's al-
THANKLESS loged remark that
BENEFICIARIES , no man can bo a
gentleman with
out a college education , is rebuked by
the Chicago Record-Herald in these
words "Poor Lincoln
: Washington , poor
coln , poor old John Jacob Astor , the fur
peddler. " Cornelius Vanderbilt was
once taken to task by his daughter who
protested against his habit of tipping
his hat to a certain lady , whom the
daughter was pleased to describe as ig
norant and illiterate. The young pre
ceptress wound up her lecture by ,
saying , "Father , in future you do not
know her. " "But I do know her , " re
plied this gentleman of the old school.
"I have known her ever since the days
when her mother used to buy oysters of
your mother. " It was the old Asters
and the old Vauderbilts , without college
educations , who laid the foundations
for the fortunes which have reared
themselves with little aid from the pres
ent generation of golf enthusiasts and
yachting experts. Are not these pioneer
financiers and gentlemen who had no
capital other than stout hearts and wil
ling hands entitled to a mite of consid
eration ? However , The Conservative is
not inclined to criticise Mr. Astor , for
we are firmly convinced that ho is too
level-headed to make such a remark , but
is probably the victim of modern sallow -
hued journalism. "But while Mr. Astor
is probably innocent of making any
such foolish statement , there are other
sous of sturdy fathers who are fond of
waving their sheep-skin diplomas ahead
of them wherever they go , and loudly
proclaiming that a man without a col
lege education is but half a man , while
as'a matter of fact there is scarcely one
one of them but traces his lineage back'
to some long-headed old tradesman with
iron in his blood , and whoso business
and social education was begun in , the
little red school house , and finished in
that greatest of all schools the world.
AN ERROR.
Through the accidental mingling of
a private letter with a communica-
ation . for publication , an article in
last week's Conservative was improp
erly credited to Lieutenant-Colonel
Charles Morton , for which we wish
to beg the forgiveness of all parties
interested , and on account of which
we are willing to have the entire
force of employees lectured by the
first man wo meet who . has never
made a mistake.
