Cbe Conservative * 11
porsition once I've hoard it a thous
and times. I'd like to run across the
follcr that could show mo what it's
standin' on. Hanged if I can sec any
legs under it.
Genius.
' ' The time I wont to South Dakoty
I had a couple of hours to spare in
New York , and I wont down and tuk
a look at that 'ore Brooklyn Bridge.
Do you know the fust thing that come
into my head when I seen that
bridge ? I says to myself , says I ,
'That wasn't made by no man. That's
as much of a meraclo as anything I
over read of in the Bible. ' If I had
stuck to that idco I wouldn't be no
foolisher than them is who says a man
can11 bo a millionaire without robbin'
somebody. The buildin' of that 'ore
bridge looks to mo to be a terrible
sight more of an achievement than the
accumorlation of as much money as
the bridge cost would be.
"I was readin' in the paper a day
or two ago about the now steamboat
that had jest got into New York.
She's 700 foot long and so big I guess
you could put all Ogunpuit inside her
if you tnk the houses apart. A man
made that 'ero vessel. Why don't you
call him a robber and a hess thief and
tell folks how he b'iled and et botli
his grandmothers ? Accordiii' to my
.lodgment he's done somothin' that's
consider'blo more wonderful than the
gittin' together of a fortune.
"I seen you whitcwashin' your old
hog pen t'other day. You handle the
brush pooty good , deacon , but your
work won't live an awful while after
yoii'ro buried up there in the meetin'
house bury in' ground. Why don't
hate folks that's '
you paintin' things
so wonderful that when you come
back to airth a thousand years from
now you'll see their pictures hangin'
up in pictur' galleries and sellin' at
the rate of over $1,000 a square foot ?
Why ain't you got as much right to
hate the feller that has the gift of
paintin' and uses it as the feller that ,
boin' born witli a business head on his
shoulders , has managed to turn a
stream of cold cash into his office
safe ?
Like Dickens' Character.
"My darter Annie reads consider'-
bio off and on , and once in a while
she reads aloud to me. I've 31st
thought of something she read out of
a book a feller named Dickens wrote.
They was an old woman in the book
that was all the time sayin'as nigh
as I can remember , 'I'm a'poor , lone
and lorn critter ; everything goes con
trary with me. '
' ' You and the rest of your million
aire haters is like that old woman.
That's about the si/.e of it ; that's all
the scnso they is in it. You are i
lonolorn critter. You aint done noth-
iu' the world considers wonderfulbut
; hat ain't what makes you lone and
orn. You git that foolin' when you
look at your wallet.
"You want bettor things to eat
; han you are gottin' now ; you want
clothes like folks wears that comes
icro from New York , Boston and
Philadolphy ; you want a house with
a lot of soft-bottomed chairs in it ,
and , most of all , jist now , you want
'our red hosses and a korridgo with
your cotit of arms painted on both
doors.
"It don't worry you none to think
jhat you've spent your life sawiii'
wood , hooin' corn and squashin' tater
bugs ; you don't feel no sorrer when
you consider that you ain't done noth-
in' senco you was born that it will bo
wuth while puttin' on your grave
stone. If you only had the money that
some folks has , you'd bo the happiest
little deacon in the world.
"It's jist the lack of spondulix
that's tip-sot you , deacon. That's
what's filled your heart with hate
and envy. It ain't no fit frame of mind
for nobody to git into , least of all a
deacon of the church. Instead of go-
in' about sayin , ' I' in a poor , lone ,
[ orn deacon , and eveything that ain't
iono and lorn goes contrary with
me , ' you ought not to rest day nor
night until you git that cussed sperit
out of your system. If you can't do that
you ain't fit to bo the deacon of no
church in Oguuquit. " N. Y. Times.
Languages Taught by Mail
with the aid of the phonograph. Only successful
* - * inethod. Specially written I. C. H. . .rC-
' ) Textbooks teach you to read and '
understand the language. The
tive teaclier's voice , through
MieKdison Standard 1'liono-
naph. teaches the exact pro
nunciation. Krench , Spanish
or Uennan. Circular tree.
International Uorrripondr nre
Schools. Boxl < IUU. Seranlnn.Pa
C
NoM&sk
of eggs or glue is
used in roasting
It is all coffee pure coffee
strong and of delicious flavor.
Some coffees are varnished with !
a cheap coating of eggs , glue or
other equally noxious substances.
The Healed poukane insures uniform ,
quullty and freshness.
INDIANA , ILLINOIS AND IOWA
RAILROAD.
THE CONNECTING TRUNK LINE ,
EXTJSNI'S ' FROM ST. JOSEPH , MICH.
TO FUl/TON , 11,1 , . , THROUGH SOUTH
BEND , IND. , KANKAKEE , 11,1 , . ,
STKEATOK , II , ! , .
CONNECTIONS AND JUNCTION POINTS ,
Direct Connections. Junction Poliitc
A. T. < fc. S. F Ry . Streator , 111.
B. &O.R.B . : WalkortDn , Ind.
B. C. R.&N. Ry . Clinton , In.
Chicago & Alton Ry . Streator , 111.
Chicago & Alton Ry . Dwight , 111.
( Streator , 111.
Zearing.111.
Chic. Burl. & Quincy R. R. SgfShg
111.
Walnut , 111.
IDenrock , 111.
Clov. Gin. Chic. & St. L. Ry. .Kankakoo , 111.
Chicago & East. 111. R. R . Momonco , 111.
Chicago & East. 111. R. R . Whcatflold , Ind.
Chicago , Ind. & Louisville ( Sholbv , Ind.
Ry. Co. ( Monon ) . ( San Pierre , Ind.
Chicago & Erie R. R . North Judson , Ind
( Fulton , 111.
O. M. & St. P. Ry . I East Clinton , 111
( Clinton , la.
( Fulton , 111.
Chicago & Northwest. Ry. urchnft'.111-
( .Clinton , la.
Chicago & So. Bond Ry . South Bend , Ind
0. R. I. & P. Ry . De Pue , Ind.
Chic. & Wabash Val. R. R. . .Kersey , Ind.
DavPiip. R. I. & N. W. Ry. . . .Clinton , la.
Grand Trunk Ry. System. . .South Bomb Ind.
Illinois Central R. R . J Kankakoo. 111.
|
Loct nt , 111.
Indiana Northern Ry . South Bond , Ind.
Lake Shore & Mich. So. T > TT . j J Bugby South Bond ( j , , 1 Ind.
Lake Erie < fc Western R. R. . . Walkerton , Ind.
Michigan Central R. R . j { &
N. Y. C. & St. L. R. R . Knox , Ind.
Pero Marquette Ry . St. Joseph , Mich.
! , ako Mich. Boat Lines . St. Joseph , Mich.
P. O. C. & St. L . North Judson.Ind
P. F. W. & 0. Ry . Hamlet , Ind.
Vandalia Line . South Bond , Ind.
, . ( No. Ind.
n- T , T , Liberty ,
tt abash R. R . j Roddick , III.
Operating Fast Freight Service between the
K.ist and West , North and South , in connection
with all the principal railroad systems and
last freight lines , thus avoiding the delays to
which traffic passing through Chicago is sub
jected.
General Olllccs ,
5G5 The llookory , Chicago , 111.
T. P. SIIONTS , GEO. H. ROSS ,
Proa. & Gen. Mgr. Traffic Mgr
Parties writing to advertisers
will please mention The Conservative.
FIRST NATIONAL. BANK ,
OMAHA , IMEB.
United States Depository.
I
Capital and Surplus ,
HERMAN KOUNTZE , President. F. H. DAVIS , Cashier.
J. A. CREIGHTON , Vice Prest. C. T. KOUNTZE , Ass't Cashier.
