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Cbc Conservative.
VOL. III. NO. 49. NEBRASKA CITY , NEBRASKA , JUNE 13,1901. , SINGLE COPIES , 5 CENTS.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY.
OFFICES : OVERLAND THEATRE BLOCK.
J. STERLING MORTON , EDITOR.
A JOURNAL DEVOTED TO THE DISCUSSION
OF POLITICAL , ECONOMIC AND SOCIOLOGICAL
QUESTIONS.
CIRCULATION THIS WEEK , 12,457 COPIES.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
One dollar and a half per year in advance ,
postpaid to any part of the United States or
Canada. Remittances made payable to The
Morton Printing Company.
Address , THE CONSERVATIVE , Nebraska
City , Nebraska.
Advertising rates made known upon appli
cation.
Entered at the postofflce at Nebraska City ,
Neb. , as Second Class matter , July 29 , 1898.
When Emperor
ABDICATION. McKinley was first
crowned , he abdi
cated as to his treaty-making functions ,
and allowed the House of Lords to
suggest , construct and ratify treaties
without his imperial consent.
Then he abdicated as to the appoint
ing power , and became a mere clerk to
autograph commissions which Hauna &
Co. had filled out.
And now his royal and most worship
ful majesty , is clerk for D. E. Thomp
son , and signing Nebraska commissions
under his dictation and direction. THE
CONSERVATIVE congratulates Senators
Millard and Dietrich upon their poverty
of patronage and assures them that the
distribution of federal fruit in Nebraska
by Mr. Thompson is entirely satisfactory
to those who wish for republican defeai
in the state next fall.
The de-pulpitized
SUPREMELY preacher who edits
HAPPY. the principal popu
list paper of Ne
braska , at Lincoln , is exuberant am
felicitates himself and "the peerless
leader , " whom he follows as sub
serviently as a ' 'squaw man' ' an Indian
agent on allotment or pay day , upon
the fact that "the empire is here. '
"With that matchless truth-teller , whom
the populists nominate , now and then
forrthe presidency , he avers that "the
supreme court has proclaimed McKinley
emperor of the United States. " This
being true , why worry about nomiua
tions , popular votes and public opinion
any more ? The crown having been
made and placed upon the head of the
Ohio man , what is the use of kicking ?
n any event "the peerless" would
purn a crown for himself. The real
elioity of his followers and of his own
great intellect is in the fact that his
fiery prophecy of the empire has been
verified. Long live the prophet !
Insular depeuden-
THE RIGHT TO c i e s , according to
ALIENATE. Justice White , of
i the supreme court
of the United States , can be sold as
easily as bought. If this be a truth the
sooner Uncle Sam advertises a job lot of
islands , Sultans , seraglios , lepers and
damaged politicians for sale , the better
for the American people. Let the
United States pay Spain twenty millions
of dollars more to trade back , reoccupy
the Philippines , and take the Sandwich
islands and all their leprosy off our
bands. Give Porto Rico to its natives ,
and throw in Governor Allen and all
other administration appointees , as
yeast to aid a rising civilization. Leave
Cuba to Cubans. Sober up and keep
out of the affairs of other nations.
The inipertiueuce
TEMERITY. and temerity with
which many towns
in Nebraska are preparing to celebrate
the Fourth of July after its abolition
by "the peerless prophet" merits a
stinging rebuke. Some people are so
lost to reason that they propose to again
sing on that obsolete date , "My Country
'Tis of Thee , " Etc. , Etc. Did not the
calamity which swept 16 to 1 and
Bryanarchy into a great cave of gloom
last November , wipe out the day auc
the song ? And are we not noyr under
the empire with Billie MoKinley en
tlironed by decree of the supreme
court ?
Fire crackers , ro
N. B. man candles , and
other eruptions o :
paroxysmal patriotism in the Unite (
States will not be visible this year , be
cause the Fourth of July was abolishec
last year.
The song , "My Country , 'Tis of Thee'
etc. , will be sung no more forever. It
was expurgated from United States
hymns last autumn by decree of the
"peerless" forecaster , who recently re
marked that the supreme court had de
olared Willie McKinley emperor.
The Honorable
DEPUTY PRESID. . E. Thompson ,
DENT. of Lincoln and Old
Mexico , as presi
dent of the United States , has just
superseded an exceptionally efficient
collector of internal revenue , Mr. J. E.
loutz , and appointed in his stead a Mr.
Stephenson , who was' famous as the
eader of the Thompsonian forces 'in
; heir recent attempt to scale the walls
of the United States senate. Acting
merely as the deputy of Thompson ,
McKinley , to the naked eye , seems one
of the sleekest , sweetest and most pious
Tom Thumbs of American politics.
Houtz was known to be clean , efficient
and honest. That is a blemish not to be
forgiven , tolerated or endured when
complicated with aversion to certain
senatorial symptoms recently developed
by Thompson.
J. Sterling Mor-
SHADE. ton of Arbor Lodge
will soon be thrown
into the shade. Emperor William pro
poses to go into the tree planting busi
ness on an imperial scale. His latest
fad is the embellishment of the famous
Avenue of Victory by planting a double
row of statues of monarchs , generals
and statesmen on this monumental
thoroughfare. Omaha Bee.
The day of "imperialism" for arbori
culture is ushered in and to "be thrown
into the shade" on a Hot day in June
has no terrors for the conservative
citizen who seeks philosophically to
keep cool.
The paramount
NEXT ISSUE. issue for the party
of fusion and
fallacies , in the early summer of 1904 ,
will be the third nomination for the
presidency of "the peerless populist" of
whom Gumshoe Bill , of Missouri ,
said :
"When this young eagle of ours bore
aloft the stainless flag of true democracy ,
we were proud of him ; when he
screamed his defiance all the mighty
forces of oppression and wrong allied
against him , trembled with alarm. "
The allied wrotohes need a few more
tremors. The wicked combine of voters
which defeated the screaming eagle in
1900 have earned the penalty of more
tremulous alarm for 1904 and THE
CONSERVATIVE hopes the punishment
may be repeated. Let the stainless flag
sail once more the stainless skies in the
vocal beak of the screaming young
eagle.