. : * % >
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Conservative * 11 ji
"I beg the honorable gentleman's
pardon ; I am not learned. "
It is a breach of order for a member to
read a newspaper in the house , although
ho may quote an extract from one in the
course of a speech ; but if he should at
tempt to peruse a daily or weekly paper ,
while sitting in his place , his ears would
soon bo assailed by a stern and reprov
ing cry of "order , order ! " from the
chair. Some members are said to resort
to the deception practiced by the young
lady , who had "Trilby" bound like the
New Testament , and was observed read
ing it in a fashionable Episcopal church
in New York. The ' 'Orders of the Day"
is a parliamentary paper containing the
program of bxisiness , which is delivered
at each member's London address each
morning. Inside this program , some
representatives often place a part of a
newspaper , and read it while everybody
imagines they are studying some bill or
its amendments.
In little matters , the house of lords is
less strict than the house of commons.
The upper house allows attendants to
pass up and down the chamber deliver
ing messages , and a reporter of the pro
ceedings sits on the floor of the house
with the clerks at the table. In the
elective chamber , however , nobody ex
cept a member is allowed to pass up and
down the floor. An attendant , even
when he has telegraph messages to de
liver , dare not pass beyond the place
known as "the bar , " just inside the chief
entrance to the chamber. Ho gives the
papers to some member sitting near the
bar , and they are passed from one mem
ber to another , until they reach their
owner.
A curious custom is the performance
known as "counting the house. " No
business can bo transacted unless a
quorum of forty members is present.
But when business has once started , it
proceeds , if only a single member is in
his place. He , of course , must bo ad
dressing the speaker , who never takes
any notice of the paucity of the attend
ance , unless a member rises in his place
and says : "Mr. speaker , sir , I beg to
call your attention to the fact that there
are not forty members present. " After
that has been said , the speaker must
proceed to "count the house. " He does
not , however , simply count the mem
bers who are present in the chamber at
that moment. He sets going the electric
bells , which ring in every room of the
great building , a summons to members
to return to the legislative hall. The
representatives of the nation then come
rushing in from all quarters , and after
the lapse of three minutes , the doors are
closed and locked. Then , and not till
then , the speaker , using his "cocked"
hat ( which he never wears over his huge
wig ) , as a pointer , proceeds to count the
number of men in the house. When he
gets to the fortieth member , he says
"Forty , " in a loud voice , resumes his
tra
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seat , and business again proceeds from
iho point at which it was interrupted.
But when there arc not forty members
present , ho simply leaves the chair with
out a word , and the sitting is over.
A favorite resort for a member who
wishes to secure an audience for a col
league , is to move "a count. " The ob
ject , however , is not always attained ,
for members leave the house again as
soon as the speaker has reached the
number forty , and the benches arc left
as deserted as before.
Some six years ago , a member who
was to have resumed the debate after
the speaker returned from dinner at
8:80 : , found , when the time arrived , that
the house contained nobody but himself ,
the speaker and the clerks. Not liking
the idea of being obliged to talk to
empty benches , he called the attention
of the speaker to the obvious fact that
there was no quorum , as required by
the rules. The bolls rang out their
summons aa usual , but only thirty-six
members responded , with the result that
the man who wanted to obtain an audi
ence , had the sitting suspended and lost
his opportunity to make a speech. A
member is occasionally counted out by
an opponent , who , after a survey of the
precincts of the house , discovers that
there are not forty members in attend
ance ; but this is the only instance on
record of a member having "counted
out" the house to his own detriment.
The forms of the house of commons
throw difficulties in the way of a mem
ber , who is desirous of relinquishing his
legislative functions. He cannot resign
his seat in the way a person resigns a
membership of a society or club. If he
becomes bankrupt or insane , he ipso
facto , ceases to bo a member of parlia
ment ; he may be expelled for infamous
conduct. But if he , for some personal
reason , wishes to close his parliamentary
career , he can only do so by accepting
some office of profit or honor under the
crown such as the nominal steward
ship of the Ohiltern Hundreds before
he can terminate his connection with
his constituents. And if ho has , in any
way , disgraced himself , his application
for the office of honor or profit , will bo
refused , and the house will proceed tote
to expel him.
The forms of the house afford "private
members , " as the unofficial represent
atives of the voters are termed , few op
portunities of exercising their legislative
abilities on their own account. Every
session some three hundred bills are in
troduced by "private members , " but
less than three per cent , pass through
all the stages necessary for their inser
tion on the statute book. The majority
of them are killed by the process known
as "blocking. " The government ap
propriates so much of the time of the
house to its own business , that the bills
of private members can only como up
for consideration at twelve o'clock at
* , *
night , or at half-past five on Wednes
day afternoons. As no opposed business
can bo taken up after these hours , unless
a bill meets with universal favor , it can
make no progress. The opposition of a
single member is sufficient to prevent
even the discussion of a proposed statute ;
and if that opposition is exorcised , the
measure is said to bo "blocked. " Twelve
o'clock at night arrives. Government
business , which occupied the attention
of the house till that hour , is postponed ;
and the clerk reads the remaining
"Orders of the Day , " in which fully
fifty of the bills of private members are
sure to appear. The title of the first of
the bills is read "The Crossing-Sweep
ers Registration Act" . The member
who has introduced it , says "now , "
meaning that ho wishes that the bill bo
proceeded with , then and there. Im
mediately another member shouts out ,
"I object , " and the doomed bill goes
into the waste-paper basket. It has
been "blocked. " And
so on , through
the entire list. By this method a con
siderable slaughter of "the innocents of
legislation" takes place almost eveiy
night of the session soon after twelve
o'clock.
"Blocking" has degenerated into a
system of reprisals. The bills of liberal
members are blocked by conservatives ;
and those proposed by conservatives are
blocked by liberals. Frequently pa the tic
appeals are made at this time of the
sitting. "Oh , spare my lamb , " the
author of the bill cries out , when he has
heard the dreaded words , "I object , "
from the benches on the opposite side of
the house. "No , I intend to have my
revenge ; your friends killed my bill , " is
the reply.
Of course , many of the proposed
statutes represent pernicious fads and
hobbies , or quixotic attempts to make
straight the crooked things of th
world bills it would be unwise to pass
into law. Some members get so passion
ately attached to a hobby that , night
after night , session after session , year
after year if their constituents do not
refuse to re-elect them they continue to
strive , * in face of the most exasperating
disappointments , to get it inserted on
the statute book. An old and exception
ally eccentric member , who died three
years ago , vainly tried during nearly
half a century of parliamentary life , to
get passed into law a bill for prevent
ing persons from standing or sitting
outside windows , while cleaning them.
During his last session , this member
contained to a friend that his object in
introducing the bill , had been quite mis
understood by the house for fifty years.
"I have always wished to make a law
upon this subject , " he explained , "not
for the sake of the window-cleaners , but
in the interest of the people on the
street , upon whom they might fall. The
idea of the bill was suggested to my
