be Conservative. 3
UNCLASSIFIED.
Did we not hear some place that the
military officers in the Spanish colonies
indulged in peculations ?
When the term "iuocnous desuetude"
first appeared Senator Thurstou created
quite a little of his alleged humor by
assuming to not understand the term.
' * He might , perchance at this time , make
"IT * an exposition.
Altgeld got another chance to measure
his popularity. He opposed Carter
Harrison and that gentleman increased
his vote 7,000 over two years ago and
received the highest ever cast for a
Chicago mayor.
*
It now transpires that Carter's op
position to the river and harbor bill was
not its great size but because he failed
to make it large enough to cany a pet
appropriation of his own. Another Re
publican idol smashed.
As hazing has for its object and never
failed in its effect to make honorable
gentlemen out of the "plebs , " it would
appear that Fred J. Barrows and his
coterie of army thieves must have
missed this refining influence and the
moral suasion of Tabasco sauce.
The administration hurled its most
terrific bolt at the Philippines ; too
terrific for us to believe they can be so
inhuman from their standpoint. The
proclamation declares that no man who
does not take the oath by April 1st can
not hold office. No Eepublican could
doubt the efficacy of that dire threat.
Why not shut up a legislature the
same as a jury when they ballot foi
senator and stay shut up until they elect.
When the campaign closes by which
members are elected they know what
their constituents want as well as they
ever will. With candidates and lobby
shut out agreement would soon come.
Admiral Sampson should not fail to
be heard on the advancement of Fun-
ston. It is said that Funston can't
waltz , nor tell pink tea from circus
lemonade. It would be very humilia
ting for the admiral to meet the general
sometime "in society. " For Funston's
"culoher" is known in Kansas as of the
"short grass" type.
McKinley shows his love for the civil
service and the real fulfillment of the
platform , by appointing Rodenberg of
East St. Louis upon the commission , f
man .who fought openly not only agains' '
civil service but the very existence o :
; ho commission. His only record as a
member of congress was his attempt to
Lefeat the appropriation in tote for its
continuance.
The chaplain of the legislature asserts
; hat 98 out of 188 members are com
municants of the Christian church and
expresses the opinion that it is a record
'or ' the legislature to view with pride.
He throws the charitable mantle of
silence over the frame of mind with
which the church can survey such a
statement. There appears to be no
mmiliatioii too great for the church to
suffer , these days of degeneracy.
If Admiral Sampson would provide
for his gunners being sent to West Point
for a little drill in the "exercises" for
which that institution is renowned , they
would , without doubt , come out "gentle
men. " The favorite weapon of the
admiral's namesake appears to have
proved a boomerang. Every time the
pink tea and prize money admiral uses
his jaw bone , the people become more
firmly fixed in their instructive estimate
of him ; an estimate that the power of
the government cannot shake. "He is
a snob. "
The "peerless" gives a vivid illustra
tion of his emotions when buying straw
berries. It has always been supposed
that strawberries in March were strictly
a plutocratic luxury. Would it not be
in better taste for this great defender of
the masses to wait for strawberries to
become' 'commoner ? ' ' The ten-dollar-a-
plate banquet with the great Tammany
prophet has evidently corrupted the
friend of the lowly. It is evident that
farming the farmer produces early
strawberries.
Those deluded fanatics who forced
the suppression of the army canteen
will obtain an object lesson in temper
ance if they will visit Fort Sheridan
near Chicago. See the hundreds of
low dives that have sprung up near it.
The career of vice and crime beyond the
reach of the officers is appalling. The
horrors of the dance house are added
to that of drunkenness. Will reformers
never learn to be temperate ? It required
three affidavits to establish the pre
sumption that Allen was sober one day
last session. They were also kind
enough to specify the day , so that the
senator's friends could , "point with
pride. " Yet Nebraska will always feel
a sense of gratitude toward Allen. He
never so far forgot himself as to publish
a poem.
The democracy are to be congratula
ted in that Bryan has assumed the role
of opposition. When he plunged into
he democratic arena he found a demo
cratic president , senate and lower house.
* e found the great states of New York ,
Ohio , Indiana , Illinois and Wisconsin ,
vith democratic governors and senators ,
le left it without a governor or senator
outside of the South , which was solid
enough to withstand him , though West
Virginia , Kentucky , Maryland and
tforth Carolina lost their democratic
virginity. But there is now hope for
democracy. Bryan himself led the
attack upon the democratic mayor of
St. Louis. His lieutenant fought Carter
Harrison in Chicago. The result a
regular Bryauesque victory. It is not
so very long ago that Mr. Bryan was
voted for in Chicago. Does he consider
Harrison's election as an endorsement
of confusion and silver ? As soon as the
Bryan idea is once divorced from de
mocracy the people will return to their
old faith. The "common people" have
often endorsed democracy , never popu
lism.
A gentleman , who was once a demo
crat and continues to still so allege him
self to be , in an editorial , says :
"No one who understands the history
of the last ten years can doubt the in
fluence which the populist party has
exerted upon public affairs. It has been
a great educational factor and the demo
cratic party has strengthened rather than
weakened itself by endorsing a number of
propositions ivhich are called 'populislic.1"
Six dollars is hereby offered as a prize
to any person , the eloquent editor in
cluded , who will point out first the
authority for injecting populistic or any
other non-democratic principle into our
national platform. Second the par
ticular populistic tenet or tenets that
have acted as a tonic to democracy and
third , the particular spot in the United
States where this alleged strength is to
be found. The democracy will be pleased
to have the learned gentleman point to
the portion of the returns last fall that
offer proof of the strength yielded us by
populistic injections. We have a
sample of democratic returns free from
any taint of populism in those of 1892.
Are there any since that date that have
caused the heart of democracy to make
one joyous bound ? This quotation
simply proves that the writer is still
peerless in framing sentences of record-
breaking inaccuracy. T. M. S.
The attention of the readers of THE
CONSERVATIVE is called to the last page
of this issue. Very few clubbing offers
embrace such a combination of good
reading as is offered in this instance.
Very frequently one reads of three
monthly publications being offered at a
reasonable price , but , it is left for THE
CONSERVATIVE to offer in its list one
weekly publication. This , is an advanr
tage worth remembering. , . ,
