EVARTS AS A STORY TELLER.
The late William M. Evarts was pro
nounced by George Augustus Sola the
best raconteur , with possibly one excep
tion , in American public life. Washing
ton cherishes and retells with zest many
of his stories , particularly those relating
to himself.
He was the most approachable of men
while secretary of state. "I find that it
pays bettor in the long run , " ho once
said , "to see a man while the impulse is
still fresh upon him and before ho has
had time to think up a set speech or pre
pare an argument. So , when a caller
asks me to fix a future day and hour for
an interview of five minutes ho always
wants jiast five minutes , no matter
whether his errand merely involves the
writing of an autograph or portends the
collapse of an empire I answer , 'I'm
ready now ; go on. ' Taken thus by sur
prise , he probably puts into the fewest
words possible whatever ho has in mind ,
and I get off easily.
"Once in awhile my confidence is im
posed upon. I was just closing up my
business as attorney general at the end
of the Johnson administration , when a
man who announced himself as a New
Yorker called , as usual wished mo to
make an appointment , and , also as
usual , was admitted at once. He wore
a very mysterious look and requested
that I dismiss my secretary , as his busi
ness was of the most private nature.
When ho was sure that we were alone
he said :
" ' that back
'Knowing you were going
to private practice in New York , I wish
to avail myself promptly of your ser
vices as a legal adviser. '
"I bowed.
" 'As there should bo no secrets be
tween counsel and client , ' he went on , '
'I may as well tell you frankly that I
am a sneak thief by profession , and
have devised what I believe to be a novel
and ingenious trick ; but , before putting
it into operation I should like to consult
you regarding the law on the subject.
Suppose I went into a savings bank
and , by pretending to be one of the em
ployees , led a depositor into handing me
his money using no force , of course ,
but simply accepting what he voluntarily
handed mo ; is there any statute under
which I could be punished for that ! '
"I suppose a good many lawyers would
have knocked the fellow down ; but I
saw that he had no idea of insulting me
that he considered the whole thing a
simple matter of business , and that ho
had done me the compliment of a first
choice from among all the members ol
the bar. So I. answered quietly that I
had never studied the law on that point
and was too busy to look it up. 'You
had bettor go to somebody else. ' I added.
" 'Well , would you do me the favor to
recommend the lawyer who has made
in your judgment , the most exhaustive
/ w
1 itf # y-'sh- *
examination of the orimiual law that
fits a cose like mine ? ' he persisted.
11 'With pleasure'I replied. 'Try the
district ' "
attorney.
"Our diplomats make a rather unim
pressive appearance , I fear , " ho said on
another occasion , "in comparison with
those of the Old World at the great pub
ic functions. I realized this one day at
a reception at the White house , when
the diplomatic corps were there in full
regalia , and I was acting , in a sense , as
master of ceremonies. Senator
liad brought along his little boy , whose
eyes , I noticed , seemed to come back to
me curiously after every survey of the
room. Presently I overheard him ask
liis father in a hoarse , childish whisper :
'Pa , is that man there too poor to buy a
dress ? '
"Speaking of diplomats , reminds me
that Mrs. Hayes , who , as you remember ,
was a staunch teetotaller , argued with
me for an hour over the first dinner the
president was to give to the foreign rep
resentatives. I tried to make her see
that it would be no sacrifice of principle
on her part to set wine on the table , but
only the civility we always show to
guests by recognizing their ways of
living at home.
" 'I'm afraid , ' she declared , 'that the
ministers will have to make up their
minds to be sociable with water. '
"And I shocked her
dreadfully by an
swering : 'Mrs. Hayes , I have never
known people to be sociable with water
except in a bath. ' "
"Did Mrs. Hayes carry her point ? " he
was asked.
"Yes , indeed , " he responded with a
dry chuckle. "She had the dinner as
she wanted it and the water flowed like
champagne. "
Once , when twitted on his small size
by a statesman of the strenuous type ,
Mr. Evarts retorted : "That remark
proves what I have always asserted
that in your eyes , measures were more
important than men. "
To another critic , who found fault
with his habit of stringing out a whole
paragraph without a break , by the use
of parenthetical clauses , he said , cheer
fully , "I have noticed that criminals
object to long sentences. "
One day a young woman dressed in
the height of fashion , and with a most
self-satisfied air , called him out of the
senate for an interview in the marble
room. She explained her visit as due tea
a desire to benefit his children. Mr.
Evarts was all attention in an instant.
"I should like an engagement to in
struct and entertain the younger mem
bers of your family , ' ' she went on. "My
friends tell me that I am very clever
and I am accustomed to recite for hours
every day. "
"It may bo said to have become
chronic , " suggested Mr. Evarts , sympa
thetically.
"I suppose so , " the elocutionist an
swered with enthusiasm.
"Well , " commented the senator
dreamily , "it has always been the prao-
ice of our family to mix benevolence
with our business , whenever we can ;
rat wo have to exorcise some discretion
n * doing this. Wo had a nursemaid
once who became lame , and a coachman
who was badly deformed by an accident ,
[ n both cases the misfortune occurred
after the parties had entered our service ,
so that wo felt bound , in Christian
charity , to retain them for the rest of
ihoir days. But I should hardly feel
justified in closing a contract with a gov
erness whom I knew , at the time of
making the engagement , to be in an ad
vanced stage of elocution , probably in
curable. " Now York Commercial Ad
vertiser.
AUSTRALIAN SYSTEM OF TAXATION
IN COLORADO.
The house of representatives of the
Colorado legislature has adopted the
Bnckleu bill which means a radical
change in the system of taxation in that
state if the measure becomes a law.
The bill provides for a constitutional
amendment to introduce the Australian
system which is based upon the Henry
George single tax theory. The bill
leaves it optional with each county to
avail itself of the privileges of the
amendment. The three main provisions
of the amendment are :
1. The general assembly shall have
power by law to exempt any or all per
sonal property and improvements on
laud from any or all taxation. All laws
exempting from taxation the whole or
any part of the full cash value of any
rights of way , franchises in public ways ,
or land , exclusive of the improvements
thereon , shall be void , except as other
wise provided by this constitution. Any
part or parts of this article of the consti
tution conflicting with the provisions of
this section , shall be and the same here
by are amended so as to conform hereto
and harmonize herewith.
2. Once in three years , but not
of tener , the voters of any county in the
state may , by vote , at any general elec
tion , exempt or refuse to exempt from
all taxation for county , city , town ,
school , road and other local purposes ,
any or all personal property and im
provements on land ; but neither the
whole nor any part of the full cash value
of any rights of way , franchises in pub
lic ways , or lands , exclusive of the im
provements thereon , shall be so ex
empted ; Provided , however , that such
question be submitted to the voters by
virtue of a petition therefor , signed and
sworn to by not less than one hundred
voters of such county , and filed with
the county clerk and recorder , not less
than thirty nor more than ninety days
before the day of election.
8. The rate of taxation on property ,
for state purposes , shall never exceed
four mills on each dollar of valuation ;
but the provisions of this section shall
not apply to rights of way , franchises in
public ways , or land , the full cash
value of which may bo taxed at such
additional rate as shall be provided by
law , after exempting all personal proper
ty and improvements thereon from such
additional rate of taxation.
