Cbe Conservative.
VOL. III. NEBRASKA CITY , NEB. , THURSDAY , OCT. 4 , 1900. NO. 13.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY.
OFFICES : OVERLAND THEATRE BLOCK.
J. STERLING MORTON , EoiTOn.
A JOURNAL DEVOTED TO THE DISCUSSION
Of POLITICAL , ECONOMIC AND SOCIOLOGICAL
QUESTIONS.
CIRCULATION THIS WEEK 22,000 COPIES.
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Address , THE CONSERVATIVE , Nebraska
City , Neb.
Advertising Rates made known upon appli
cation.
Entered at the postoffloe at Nebraska City
Neb. , as Second Class matter , July 20th , 1898.
"IF I CAN PREVENT THE MAINTEN
ANCE OF THE GOLD STAND
ARD , YOU CAN RELY ON
MY DOING IT. "
"They say that I am begging for votes.
Not at all. I never asked a man to votra for
me. In fact , I have told some people to vote
against me. That Is more than most can
didates do. I have said that If there was
anybody who believed In the maintenance
of the gold standard until foreign nations
came to us and graciously permitted us to
abandon It , I said that If anybody should be
lieve that the gold standard was absolutely
essential to the welfare of this country he
ought to not vote for me at all. I do not
want any man to vote for me and then ob
ject to my doing what I expect to do if you
elect me , and if I can prevent the mainten
ance of the gold standard you can rely on
my doing It the very first possible oppor
tunity given me. '
WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN.
Philadelphia , Sept. 23 , 1896.
"If there Is any one who believes the
Gold Standard in a good thing1 , or that It
iniiHt be maintained , I warn him not to
cast his vote for mo because I promise him
it will not he maintained In this country
longer than I am able to get rid of it. "
Hon. William Jennings Bryan , Knoxvlllo ,
Teuii. , Sept. 10 , 180U.
After much self-
CROWN CRUSHER-
announcement
,
TRUST SMASHER
from Elmwood and
Johnson's Corners where the mighty
twins-in law , Col. Bryan and Gen.
Smyth , had been eulogizing each other
and exalting the character , dignity anc
duties of a candidate for the presidency
of the United States , the Crown-crush
ing and Trust-smashing Consolidated
Word and Wind Co. reached Nebraska
City. This spectacular advent was on
September 20th.
Just prior to the incoming of the train
the great Corliss engine in the Nebraska
City Starch Works shivered , the stones
grinding corn groaned and the exhaust
) ipes in that plant and at the Cereal
Hills gave spasmodic gasps intermittent-
y with steam shudders , evincing the
fear that pervades even inanimate
matter when brought face to face with
iicarnated prophecy , immaculate devo-
; ion to principle and a boundless ignor
ance of economic and statute law.
The mighty throng poured out in
uncounted thousands of Greenbrauohes ,
Gilohrists , bucolio
The Procession. _ , , . . . ,
Crokers , irrigated
varlets from prohibition-drouthed
Iowa , and tin imitations of Tammany
heelers from Lincoln. It represented
the intellect , character and tax-paying
capacity of Bryanarchy with a fidelity
tonohingly tender nearly all had
"touched" the finance committee for ex
penses of the trip.
The Hamburgers who came over
expected to meet Oldham , for whom
their town was
It Proceeds. , _ . , , . ,
named. They did
not stand straight enough to ba
counted , and the Sidneyites were also
rejoicing in liberty from the state
where prohibition has a trust and forces
water as a beverage , by shutting out
competition with man-made drinks.
They were twenty-eight in number and
rode intelligent horses. No committee
of residents of Nebraska City met them
at the depot and therefore Gen. Smyth
and Colonel Bryan were untramelled in
using that military knowledge and ex
perience which they have acquired
upon so many fields of palaver , in so
many battles of blarney without annoy
ance or interference from the bewildered
wage-earners and other useful citizens
of the invaded city. Thus with electric
celerity the vast surging mass of at
tendauts from Lincoln and all the
brass bands and prohibition exiles
from Iowa , organized in a procession
the tail end of which rested at' Kansas
City , while the great twins-in-law
Bryan and Smyth were passing
through the plutocratic "shadow of the
starch works" at this afflicted indus
trial center.
At last with the roll of drums anc
the majestic melody of a thousand in
strnments of wind
Beautiful. , , . _
the magmficen
and spectacular demonstration began its
earth-shaking tread toward the Oour
House. At its-head , in only one car
iage , rode Gen. Smyth , trust smasher
extraordinary , and by his side crown-
crushing , imperator-destroying , cross-
of-gold-abhorring , "peerless" Bryan. ,
Whether this was a reincarnation or
an impersonation of Gen. Falstaff and
_ . . . his army or of
Doubts. _ _
Gen. Coxey and
his brigade , there seemed to be consider
able doubt. Some swore that Bryan
represented Falstaff because , pointing
to S-m-y-th , they said triumphantly ,
'there sits Justice Shallow by his side , "
while other perplexed spectators avowed
that it was Ooxey with Carl Brown
leading an army of hoboes and tramps.
At the Court House sauare. however.
the Falstaff theory won out , for there
Justice Shallow was asked by his valorous
rous chief : "Have yon provided me
here half a dozen sufficient men ? "
And Shallow answered in that precise ,
Shakespearian verbiage , which "the
peerless prophet" had used in his mar
tial interrogation : "Here's two more
than your called number ; you must
have but four here. " A commenta
tor remarked that "the two extra men"
"provided" from the invaded precinct
over the four absolutely required as
the hand-clapping and hurrah quota
were to allow for a percentage of re
jections from voluntary disability by
bibnlosity. Falstaff asked for men
"sufficient" and "fit to go. "
All that was charmingly , irresistibly
beautiful and now the blare of trumpets
and the sobs of
Sublime.
harmonies
soul-soothing
monies were stilled ; and the resurrect
ed and roterrestrialized prophets , Moses
and Isaiah , the law-givers , Solon and
Lycurgns , and the presidents , Wash
ington , Jefferson , Jackson , Lincoln and
John Tyler , all reincarnate in one per
son , "the peerless one" stood before the
uncountable multitude , grand , majestic ,
sublime as the biggest Missouri river
catfish in the presence of a school of small
suckers. Immediately the disciplined
*
enthusiasm brought down from Lincoln
in job lots , burst forth and the prolong
ed shouts of automatic , phonographic ,
graphophonic applause made the starch
works tremble and at the same time
demonstrated the value of a portable
acclamation factory , "a syndicate" in
claqueurs and a Supreme 'trust * in mak
ing plaudits. The spontaneity , the vooi-
ferousness and the sonorousness of the
trained hoodlums who accompanied
Col. Bryan and Gen. Smyth far excell-
