12 'Cbe Conservative *
PAIN.
I niu n Mystery that walks the earth
Since man began to bo ;
Sorrow and Sin stood sponsor at my birth ,
And Terror christened me.
More pitiless than Death , who gathereth
His victims day by day ,
I doom man daily to desire Death ,
And still forbear to slay.
More merciless than Time , leave man Youth ,
And suck Life's sweetness out ;
More cruel than Despair , I show man Truth ,
And leave him strength to doubt.
I bind the freest in my subtle hand ;
I blanch the boldest cheek ;
I hold the hearts of poets in my hand ,
And wring them ere they speak.
I walk in darkness over souls that bleed ;
I shape each as I go
To something different. I drop the seed
Whence grapes or thistles grow.
Grace Denio LitchQeld in the Independent.
The domiciliary
DOMESTIC STKIFE.
infelicities of the
family of Douglas couuty republicans
are intense and infectious. Since the
election the cutlery and fire-amis which
had been concealed by the Rosewater
and Webster factious have been
brandished with much show of savage
wrath. Each chieftain attributes the
recent disaster to candidates of the McKinley -
Kinley brand to the treachery of the
other ; and the general public is awestricken -
stricken by the depravity , hatred and
revengefuluess depicted by the general
inventory of charges now exposed to
view in the separate wigwams of these
great warriors.
* 1 The scalps of truth , of fair dealing
and common honesty are said to dangle
from the belts of braves on both sides.
The proposition to lay a telegraphic
cable from the United Stages to the
Philippines by way of Alaska and Japan
seems at first sight to imply going a long
way out of the road ; at least probably
ninety-nine out of a hundred would so
consider. And yet it is the shortest
possible route , as any one who has
access to a globe can satisfy himself at
a glance. From Seattle a perfectly
straight line leads along the southern
edge of the Aleutian Islands and the
east coast of Japan to the city of Manila.
To go by way of Hawaii is to describe
almost a right angle.
Resting from the patriotic labor of
to make "the "
trying plain people"
believe that their best interests can be
promoted by a debased currency , it is
hoped that Colonel Bryan will resume
his gatekeepership as the only St. Peter
with keys to the democratic Heaven ,
Bryan and Croker sole proprietors.
One Mr. Archer , explaining concern
ing us Americans and our peculiar speech
in the Pall Mall Magazine , is good
enough to consider that we have per
manently enriched the English language
by adding to it the verb "to rubberneck. "
-Jf *
CONSERVATISMS.
Traditionalism is a living lie.
The has-been can never be true.
Science is the endeavor to know self.
Traditionalism is dead and erroneous
science.
Truth always is and has neither past
nor future.
Traditionalism is the shadow of a
dead substance.
Traditionalism is fetishism and knows
naught of religion.
McKinleyism is sorely afflicted with
chronic aural pronatiou.
McKiuleyism is bribsry , robbery ,
usurpation , tyranny , treason.
McKiuleyism is acephalic , Bryanism
multi-cephalic , Orokerisui mono-ce
phalic.
Crokerisui is safe so long as the boss
can control the machine and throttle
the stokers.
Truth is self-knowledge. For this
reason ignorance provaileth and inaketh
much noise.
Bryanism is dangerous because it
promises much which it either cannot or
does not intend to fulfill.
McKiuleyism represents a ship's
figurehead , the captain being out of
sight in the wheel-house.
McKinleyism is the political mon
strosity of the nineteenth century ; all
body , no head , and no backbone.
Traditionalism is the blind leading the
blind into the slough of despond filled
with the moulding and decaying weeds
of error.
Bryanism is like a Hindoo fetish hav
ing numerous heads looking in all direc
tions and no head fixed in any one
direction.
McKinleyism is a constant menace
because it lives on and by bribery , cor
ruption and usurpation. When the
funds fail then political decapitation.
Crokorisrnis absolute despotism , while
Bryanism is to be compared to Baruum's
"What is it ? " which so successfully
fooled the dollars out of the dear people.
Crooked is the gate and broad is the
way of traditionalism along the pathway
of aborted misconceptions , while straight
is the gate and narrow the way of truth.
Traditionalism builds on the shifting
sands of error , while truth is founded
on the rock of eternity against which
the storming of traditionalism is as
naught.
Traditionalism i * the machine of the
ecclesiastical and political boss , the
guillotine in which the "sons of God"
are tortured and crushed by the children
of the devil.
McKinleyism may be likened to the
government of England , the president
being the king ( in name ) , the ministry
doing the work , while an unseen privy
council runs things.
Should Bryanism become mono-
cephalic instead of poly-cephalic then
look out for Robespierreism and the
guillotine of anarchistic communism
in the United States.
When the people again become sovereign
eign and assert their constitutional
rights McKinley will be known as the
Casabianca of American politics. Some
body will be seeking the fragments of
republicanism.
FRANK S. BILLINGS.
Charles Morton ,
MUSIC ANI > . , ,
. the fflther ° f th °
THE UIIAAEA.
music hall , " was
recently given an extraordinary testimonial
menial benefit at the Palace theater in
London on the occasion of his eightieth
birthday. It is said every person of
note in the theatrical world of London
participated.
In an interview with a correspondent
of the New York Times the veterau
gave a brief outline of the origin and
development of the music hall as
follows :
"The germ of the music hall might be
found in the old-fashioned bar parlor ,
wherein 'mine host , ' possessed of a
good voice , would add to the merriment
of his guests and fill his own money
bags by trolling forth a rollicking song
after supper. Sometimes he would
accept outside assistance , and would
welcome a proffered song , even if it
were arranged on the terms of 'no song ,
no supper. ' Gradually we find that
music became so desirable a digestive
that 'soug-and-supper' rooms were quite
an institution 50 or (50 ( years ago , con
stituting themselves unwittingly the
first precursors of the modern music
hall.
"The variety saloon was the next
development. These places of enter
tainment stood in mid-distance between
the concert rooms and the theaters.
Their programme not that they had
one comprised all sorts of turns ; drama ,
farce , everything , in fact , except Shake-
sperean drama ; but the turning point in
their history came on the passing of the
theaters registration act in 1843 , when
they had to elect whether they would
class themselves as theatres or regular
music halls , with drinking license , but
without the right of producing stage
plays.
"The Grapes , under the more preten
tious title of the Surrey Music Hall , and
afterward rechristened the Winchester ,
was among the first of the tavern con
cert rooms to blossom out as a music
hall , as we now understand the term. "
American methods are followed in
building the Siberian railroad , and
American tools and track-laying ap
pliances employed.