Conservative *
THIS GI.O1JE TII13AT1CK.
Continuous I'erfnriiiniitio of the Great
American KxtruvaKiui/n , Expansion , or
Expand anil the World Itiuli.s ? at You.
Characters of the Prologue. Time :
About 1776.
George IV. , King of England , a promi
nent expansionist , afterwards known
as a tyrant and oppressor.
George Washington
Thomas JeiFersnn , Ragged Rebels ,
Benjamin Franklin , a f terwards
John Hancock , known as Pa
Nathan Hale , triots.
Sir William Howe , " )
Lord Cormyallis , I Missionaripa o n -
General Clinton , | gaged in the
General Gage , J work of expansion
The Marquis do Lafayette , a friend of
Washington and an anti expansionist.
The Declaration of Independence , a seri
ous document.
Characters of the Extravaganza. Time :
About J30 years later.
His Imperial Highness , McKinley I. ,
Ruler of the Isles , Sultan of Iloilo , Cap
tain-General of Cuba and Porto Rico ,
Coinmander-in-Chief of the
- - Imperial
Army and Navy , Defender of the
Constitution and Business Agent of
the Republican Syndicate.
What's-tho-Matter-with Mark Hanna ,
Manager-in-Chief of the Syndicate ,
Comptroller of the Barrel , Procurer
of Votes to His Imperial Highness.
RUBS Alger , a scapegoat.
General Eagan , a retired embalmer with
a handsome income.
George Dewey , Admiral of the Navy ,
and Presidential Candidate of Patriotic
Republicans.
Civil Service Reform , the butt of the
Imperial Court.
William J. Bryan , a professional jester
and dealer in supplies for windmills.
General Otis , a cheerful obliterator of
facts discreditable to His Imperial
Highness.
Highness."I
"I Missionaries of Ex-
General McArtlmr , ) Palfon' ho f °
General Lawton , heI ne ? "he ?
J like it or not.
Truth , a character rarely permitted to
appear on the stage , and then only in
an obscure light.
Aguinaldo , a poor cuss.
Other Niggers , inhabitants of the Philip
pine Islands , incapable of suffering
and possessing no desire for liberty
and happiness. Next to seeing their
homes burned and wives and children
maltreated , their principal joy con
sists in being shot down by Expan
sionist missionaries.
T. O. Platt , ) Sub-Managers of the Re-
M. S. Quay , \ publican Trust.
Teddy , the Rough Rider , a young man
who meant well , but went wrong.
The Declaration of Independence , a hu
morous document , read only by old
ladies and children.
Business Interests , an idol set up by the
Republican Syndicate on the pedestal
formerly occupied bp Patriotism.
Protection , an imaginary fence around
the idol.
Office-IIolders , Office-Seekers , Politi
cians , Contractors , Protection-fed
Trust Magnates , G. A. R. Men , Pen
sion Agents , etc. , etc. Life.
TItUSTS , IIUGAIJOOS AND FANATICS.
EDITOU THE CONSERVATIVE :
I am edified and amused at the per
sistent effort of the editor of THE Cox-
SEKVATIVE in puncturing the political
shams and fallacies of Bryan and his
confederates in "populism , fusion , con
fusion , illusion and delusion. " Still ife
seems like a waste of energy , paper and
ink , or like pouring water on a duck's
back , to ply a man with arguments ,
such as those the Hon. Bourke Cockran
plied Mr. Bryan with in the late anti
trust convention. That class of men ,
like some others holding high positions
under our state and national govern
ments , who have demonstrated their
incapacity to manage their own private
affairs and professions so as to provide
for themselves and families depending
upon them , are not in harmony with an
honest basis or standard of value. They
are shut up to the necessity of lying
down on the public and demagogy is
their stronghold. They demonstrated
from personal contact with men of
muscle and brain their own incapacity
in the struggle with free and unre
stricted competition in the race of life.
Hence their zeal for state and national
government paternalism. You never
heard of a man u ho had demonstrated
his own ability to make a success of his
profession , trade or business whining
and crying against corporations or
trusts , so-called. We have in President
McKiiiley n shining example of the
insincerity of this class of Crokers or
political demagogues that have failed
iguominiously in every business under
taking they embarked in. They imme
diately conceive the idea they are quali
fied to take charge of the people's.
Whether they take their cue from P. T.
Barnum , that the bigger the humbug
the more money there is in it
with the American people , I know not.
If they do , this more than any other one
thing entitles them to the respect of the
people. If Mark Hanna helped Presi
dent McKinley to reach this conclusion
then the republican chairman is entitled
to more credit than the democrats credit
him with.
But I have digressed ; what I intended
in attempting to prove the insincerity of
the free silver and anti-trust political
demagogues , was this :
McKinley was an out and out free
silver 10 to 1 republican populito until
he secured the republican nomination
and so blatant was his espousal of this
sham it was several weeks after his
nomination before the republican party
knew which side of the money question
lie would take his stand upon ; but after
he was assured of the fifty thousand
dollar salary a year there was no longer
any doubt about his wanting to receive
for his services a 100-cent dollar , just as
Bryan has who fro quently admitted his
platform to be whatever will secure the
office and salary.
I said I was amused and edified at
your persistent expose of these dema
gogic attempts of Bryan to retain his
hold upon the democratic party. In the
last issue the qxiotatiou from Hon.
Bourke Cockran's speech asking whether
a monopoly that oppresses exists and
where it is , who is hurt and where ? re
minded me of the anti-trust convention ,
held at Chicago during the World's
Fair. Among the ten delegates ap
pointed by Governor R. E. Pattison ,
of Pennsylvania , was the writer. I had
not noticed before I received my creden
tials that such a convention was to bo
held. Having thus been honored by the
governor of the state , without solicita
tion , I did not feel free to decline to
serve and turned aside from my business
and hied away to the Windy City. I
had gathered from reading the public j
press for years that Chicago was a
breezy city ; but all impressions I ever
conceived of it before my attendance on
that anti-trust convention fell short of
the reality after thosa long-haired men
and short-haired women delegates from
the wild west had gotten fairly under
headway. The writer was a novice in
political conventions , never having attended -
tended but one before in his life ; that
was the republican convention held in the
city of Pittsburg in 1856 , which formed
the republican party. As I sat in the
anti-trust convention listening to the
vaporiugs of the populistic delegates as
they assailed every prominent states
man from the formation of our govern
ment , even assailing some of the politi
cal sentiments of George Washington ,
Thomas Jefferson , Andrew Jackson and
Abraham Lincoln , two thoughts seemed
to be struggling in my mind for the
mastery. The first was the manifest
difference in the personnel of the two
conventions that of the men composing
the convention that gave birth to the
republican party and those composing
the anti-trust convention , that took the
leading part in the discussion of the
subject on hand. The contrast was so
striking that I was at a loss to know
whether the degeneration in the physical
or mental make-up of the convention
was the greatest. As I called to mind
the dignified appearance , the calm dis
passionate address , the lofty purpose
that pervaded the arguments and
speeches of the statesmen composing the
convention of 1850 , with the pessimistic
wail and wild denunciations of men and
women of weird expression of counte
nance , composing the anti-trust convention - .
vention , I was wondering in my own
mind whether or neb our democratic
