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About The Conservative (Nebraska City, Neb.) 1898-1902 | View Entire Issue (March 2, 1899)
- _ ! l iV' . 'Cbe Conservative * 9 LEGISLATIVE INSANITY. A San Francisco 'journal remarks un der the above heading of "Legislative Insanity : " "Populist legislator , C. R. Walters of Lnbette , Kans. , during a recent session of the Kaunas legislature , introduced the following resolution : "Whereas , the men of the present generation have become scoffers and doubters , and , "Whereas , they have strayed from the religion of their fathers ; and , "Whereas , they no longer live in the fear of God ; and , "Whereas , having no fear of punish ment beyond the grave , they continually violate the law given to the world from Mt. Sinai ; therefore , be it enacted by the legislature of the state of Kansas , that "Thou shalt have no other gods before mo ( $1000 fine for violating such. ) "Thou shalt not make unto theo any graven image , etc. , etc. ( For breaking the above a $1000 fine is imposed and one year in the penitentiary. ) "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain , etc . , etc. ( For violating which a $500 fine is imposed. ) "Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy , etc. , etc. ( For violating this a $500 fine is imposed. ) "Honor thy father and thy mother , etc. , etc. ( For violating this a $500 fine is imposed , in addition to six months in the penitentiary. ) "Thou shalt not kill. ( Death by hang ing. ) "Thou shalt not commit adultery. ( Imprisonment for life. ) "Thou shalt not steal. ( Fine or im prisonment at discretion of court. ) "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. ( Imprisonment at discretion of court. ) "Thou shalt riot covet , etc. , etc. ( Fine or imprisonment at discretion of court. ) "In the same year some freak from the backwoods introduced a bill into the legislature of the bluegrass region , where Kentucky belles , bourbon whisky and blooded horses reign supreme , providing for the branding of all burglars who had over been committed to penal institxi- tions of the state a great big letter 'D' being branded on both checks , on these gentlemen of thieving propensities , and 'taking' proclivities. It seems to mo that the man who manufactured that bill from out of the depths of an impen etrable void ( called by him brain ) should have submitted both his cheeks to be branded , the one with a letter D and the other with an F , which D. F. correctly read signifies the character of the person wearing the brand. Why ? Because since skin grafting is as common an op eration in these days as the pulling of an aching molar , and no more painful , the released convict could at a reasonable expense have the brand cut out and now skin grafted in its place. Therefore , in what way would such branding inure to the benefit of justice ? "In 1897 there seemed to bo a regular epidemic of legislative insanity as may jo seen in the following : "In Massachusetts a solon wanted to > ass a law which would make a state board to tax blacksmiths ; North Dakota proposed to license barbers ; an Indiana man wanted to see whiskers taxed ; Michigan proposed to tax bachelors ; while Missouri , the land of hogs and liominy , has tried to push forward a bill to punish by heavy fine anT widow or unmarried woman who has refused any lionorable offer of marriage. It , also wanted to fine railroad hands for talk ing to women passengers. Minnesota wanted a law preventing women sympa thizers from sending or giving flowers to criminals : Michigan demanded that bills of faro should be printed in English only , and a measure was recently intro duced , in the Indiana legislature , making it a misdemeanor to wear squeaking boots in church ; Oklahoma has tried leg islation against bloomers ; Kansas against corsets ; Alabama against shirt-waists , and San Francisco against theater hats. Surely the wheels are whizzing. " THE NEW LEADER OF MEN IN BRITAIN. The personal force which now directs more of the powerful public opinion in the homo realm of the venerable and venerated queen bears the whilom somewhat odious name of Chamberlain. The man who has breasted many storms in his ascent from the plain and un known man of Birmingham , who , to gain a footing was compelled to cling to the parliamentary fortunes of lesser men , has outlived jibe and sneer from the organs of both tory and liberal , and stands today without serious dissent , as the one man dominant over all other English statesmen in leading and direct ing that enlightened and progressive opinion of middle-class England to which parliaments , cabinets and even royalty itself do not hesitate to bow. Joseph Chamberlain , the man who made a paradise for workiugmeii in the Iron City , has reached that high place in the ranks of statesmanship in the government of the greatest and most exacting of nation's which insures him all the civilized world for audience whenever he speaks upon any question that concerns it. It is cause for a sort of pride on this side of the sea that this gifted son of "the tight little island" chose an American girl for his wife , a daughter of Judge Eudicott , secretary of war in. the first cabinet of Mr. Cleve land. Perhaps it may bo to this matrimonial menial wisdom , on his part that wo are more or less indebted for the strong and consistent attitude of friendship which ho never fails to avow for our country Mr. Chamberlain is evidently ambi tious to see the United States share the Hirdeu , and the doubtful glory , of con quering barbarians and semi-barbarians , primarily for the good , as he maintains , of our country , and , secondly , for the certain good of the people who compose ; hem. This policy is simply destiny for England , and it would be an injustice : o deny that , judged by an impartial study of results , the claim for England's spread of Christian light and practice among the semi-civilized nations \mdcr a generally benign rule is well grounded in truth. But Mr. Chamberlain forgets , or does not choose to heed , the cardinal fact that England is a monarchy , that lier rule is imperial , the fiat of force , while our country is a free democracy , self-governing , and by all its teachings and traditions a mind-your-o\vn-busi- ness country "entangling alliances with none. " WEALTH OF IMMIGRANTS. If wo were to gauge the worth of newly arrived immigrants by the amount of money they bring with them those who come from Germany would take first rank , England would hold second place and Italy the last. The average German who comes to this country brings $52.96 with him. When the average Englishman comes he brings $1.40 less , or $51.56. The next wealthiest average immigrant is the Frenchman , who comes with $47.28 in his pocket. The Belgian is fourth in the list with $45.60. The Italian , who is the poorest of all , brings $9.98 , but it is safe to say that he returns to his native land the wealthiest of all who go back if his propensity for saving is a thing to judge by. The Turk who comes to America brings $85.50 with him and stands well toward the top of the list. The average Irishman comes over to stay , with a capital of $15.26 , while the Russian , ac cording to the annual report of the com missioner-general of immigration , brings $12.10. N. Y. Journal. Wo want them all. It is only a ques tion of time before there will be some satisfactory solution of the arid laud of the West , and as soon as the surplus water which now annually goes to the sea without having done its work , is stored in reservoirs and intelligently applied to the one hundred millions of acres of arid lands , there will be room for immigrants from every clime ; and if they are willing to work , the amount of cash they bring in , per capita , is a small factor , provided they bring intelli gence , good health and honesty. "Tell me honestly , " said the novel reader to the novel writer , "did you ever see a woman who stood and tapped the floor impatiently with her too for -J several moments as you describe ? " "Yes , " was the thoughtful reply ; "I did " "Who she ? " "She once. was was a clog dancer. " Tit-Bits.