The Conservative (Nebraska City, Neb.) 1898-1902, January 12, 1899, Page 13, Image 13
t M5ra.r - Conservative * 13 wisely and learnedly relative to the horrible rible practices of their meat-eating an cestry oi' the year 189 ! ) , when it is said to huvo been the custom to cook and devour parts of the corpses of sheep , swine and oxen , and likewise to have considered it a luxury upon festive occasions to eat the roasted cadavers of turkeys , and other tame poultry , together with the remains of game birds of every variety , which then existed in great abundance on the prairies of Nebraska. All the meat- eating proclivities of the people who lived in 1900 are examined and des canted upon from a purely scientific point of view and with unanimity deter mined and declared to have been bestially barbaric , terribly gross and to the re fined stomachs of the year A. D. 225G decidedly nauseating. SYNTHETIC FOODS. The nourishment and subsistence of the people at this convention consist entirely of synthetic foods. They are manufactured out of original ele ments by chemists in vast laboratories which are maintained in various parts of the country. Synthetic food is car- i ried in the form of pellets of concen trated nutrition. A vest pocketful of these nutrients is the equivalent of a carload of the gross food of the year 1899. The palate , by non-usage under the synthetic system of nutrition , has almost ceased to be an organ of taste. Human stomachs have been largely contracted by the method , and the grossness of the race has been very much moderated. The convention looks forward to a time when all the annoyances and worry in cident to cooks and cooking shall have been blotted from the constant ! } ' dimin ishing list of human woes. Gathered hero in Franklin county , Nebraska , A. D. 225G , these pundits are making thorough search for remnants of the civilization that existed in this re public during the nineteenth century. Among other things , they have exhumed at a point , not distant from the grave ot the Moorish stirrups of 1540 , near River- ton , a inouldboard plow and are wondering how it was over possible with such a clumsy and unwieldy implement to turn over so many broad acres and place them under til lage. They compare their swiftly revolviug electric discs and their com pressed-air pulverizers of the soil with the clumsy methods of that century anc express their absolute incredulity as to the possibility of people having beer well supplied even with gross and bulky food through the agricultural imple ments of that day and generation. Another group is paroxysmally con vulsed with laughter while they decipher the cylinder of a phonograph of 1896 and read from the same , incandesces eloquence on the money question , de claiming in favor of the free and uuliin ited coinage of silver at the ratio of I * Ji * o ] as a panacea for panics , poverty and all the other ills of business and finance. By prearrangement at this assemblage , of original investigators , thirteen learned non , who had been hypnotized and placed in a perfected refiigcrator for luuinu beings who desired to have ani- nation suspended for a term of years , wore to be brought back to life after iwonty-five years of inanimate seclusion jlacc. jlacc.Whether Whether remnants of the constitiition of the United States and the present nethods of administering governments are discovered by these antiquarians in their researches in A. D. 2250 , is a ques- ; ion so suggestive and incitivo of such ? reat doubt and so sorrowful that it is perhaps better to think solemnly about it rather than to speak unadvisedly and flippantly. THE HOG OF THE FUTURE. [ From The Breeders' Gnzotte. ] To THK GAHETTE. In an article on the "Hog of the Future , " written four years ago I was one of the first to attack the modern regulations then so preval- nt among breeders of some classes of swine in order to produce excessively fat animals of immense size. In that article the claim was made that consti tutional vigor , muscular action , sound bone and prolificacy were being sacri ficed by the breeding animals being overfed in close confinement often on a single corn diet , and frequently inbred to intensify those fat types ; that the products of the prevailing types did not conform to the demands of the con sumer , and that many of the animals put on the market were so nearly help less as to bo unfit for food for the hu man family. "What a storm of indignation it brought forth among the hogmen of the dominant breeds ! In vain were they told that the Daniels in the watch-towei were deciphering the "handwriting on the walls" of porkdom and that their swine should be ( as Nebuchadnezzar had been ) sent to grass , with a gener ous mixture of all suitable foods at theii command with the corn. While pre tending not to hear , they hearkened after hearing from ex-Governor Fnrnas regarding his crosses with Florida razor backs ; also Secretary Wilson , who re ported our hogs too fat for the Euro pean bacon trade ; the Iowa Expt 'imont Station , Secretary Coburn of Kansas State Board of Agriculture , Prof. Thomas Shaw and other good author ities. As a result , many a breeder who has had a long line of soft-boned , broken- down cripples to his credit has beer moved to lay down the bars and tun his brood sows in the clover-field , give the boar an acre or more of gross range and has sent a boy off to mill for mid dliugs. Many of these men who had long bid defiance to Nature's organic laws regarding breeding and care o - , Ht.siye3J3HKBisiiiSBK4.Ej > wino began to whistle out of the other orner of their mouths and rushed their low songs into print such as advocat- ng a grass range , with a variety of beds , and advising that in choosing a sire to select one of great constitutional vigor , strong bone , good muscular iction , of a prolific family and such like , intil you would think that they were ; ho charter members in this needed re- 'orm. It is safe to presume that the National Association of Expert Judges on Swino' and the auxiliary state associations will 10 longer consider that the most perfect ; ypo of swine is one that after the head and feet are cut oil' will come the near- ist filling a square box of proper size , ; ho width and height being equal. The ut given in the detailed description of one class of hogs , consisting of a rear view of one of these parallelepipeds on a score card for use at these export meetings , should bo laid aside as out of date. date.Wo Wo can best advance by going back ward until we find the happy medium between the overburdened weakling of today and the lank hog of pioneer times , and the many wise changes in sight tell us that the happy changes in treatment will bring about a happy change of con dition , and foretells that as a consequent quent the fanners of the United States will give to the consumers a better class of bacon. As a result , it also teaches the power of the agricultural press as an exponent of ideas and wants of trade , and in this one line alone the value thereof to feeders and consumers can never bo computed. H. F. WOUK. Clark Co. , Ind. T h e senatorial . coin are constantly receiving accessions to their number. Among the latest and shrewdest , his ad mirers count the Honorable Thomas , T. Majors of Peru and the hickory shirt. They say he is a star from the Ursa Major family. They take pride in the further fact that the same cluster of stars whence the hickory shirt and its incandescent occupant and owner de- cended is familiarly known as the plow. In the northern part of the political heavens of Nebraska the Ursa Major party of astronomers pretend to see a glowing and constantly increasing blaze of light. _ The late chief engineer of the New York , writing in Cassier's magazine on the Spanish war , says : "I never heard an enlisted man speak of prize money in connection with a chase or capture. " Nebraska City and New York are not always classed together , but they are both among the few towns where the horse-car is still seen. A photograph of the Park Row building in Now York , the tallest office building yet-erected , shows one of these vehicles standing before it , with two sorry -looking nags attached to the front end.