y
Is
Salesmen Doctors
Can Save Money with a Ford
llailrond travel i ueuelly uncotu
fortnble. Cooped up in u stufiy day
coach is an experience tbat most trav
eling salesmen despise. Besides its
diecomfort. it's expensive. Railroad
and livery bill- are always high and
make a continual pull on the pocket
book. If you are wipe you'll save tlm
outlay and make traveling enjoyable
and healthy, by purchasing a Ford.
The original pur
chase price of the
Model T is email.
Consider, that fir
the price you gel
car with all the
useful equipment
necessary to uiuko
anv trio under any
conditio!.:;. Your journeys from town
to town arc quickly made; you are
comfortable in the fresh air and jon
are saving both time and money. No
more pokey trains to wait for you
are your own engineer, coudnctor and
brakemau.
Ford light weight saves tires and
tires save money. Light weight saves
wear and automobile wear is expen
sive. Vanadium steel construction
means strength and streiic,th means
durability all points that prove the
Ford ca- the best for road travel of
all kinds.
,i
Only $775 Fully Equipped-. 0. B. Columbus
FORD MOTOR CO.
SOLD
G0TTBER6
WEST 13TH ST.
"MIND YOUR PS AND Q"3'
One Theory Is That the Old Saying
Originated In the Printing
Office.
Several explanations have been
given of the origin of the phrase
"Mind your P's and Q's." One Is that
It is derived from an old custom of
hanging a slate up in an alehouse on
which was written P or Q that is.
pint or quart against the name of
each customer according to the quan
tity which he had drunk; to be paid
when the wages were given on Satur
day night.
Another explanation given in the
Dietetic and Hygienic Gazette Is that
the sentence originally was "Mind
your toupees and queues." The tou
pee was an artificial lock of hair and
the queue the pigtail of olden time.
A riddle used to be in vogue as fol
lows: "Who is the best person to keep
the alphabet in order? Answer: A
barber, because he ties up the queues
and puts toupees in irons."
Charles Knight gives the most
plausible explanation, as follows:
"I have always thought that the
phrase 'Mind your P's and Q's' was de
rived from the schoolroom or the
printing office. The forms of the
small p's and q's in the Roman type
have already been puzzling to the
child and the printer's apprentice. In
the one the downward stroke is on the
left of the oval; in the other, on the
right
"Now, when the types are reversed,
as they are when in process of dis
tribution they are returned by the
compositor to his case, the mind of
the young printer is puzzled to dis
tinguish the p from the q. In sorting
pi or a mixed heap of letters, -where
the p and the q arc not in connection
with any other letter forming a word,
I think it would be almost impossible
for an inexperienced person to distin
guish which is which upon the in
stant." Arts and Crafts in Japan.
Of a total membership of SC9, as
reported at the annual meeting In the
Twentieth Century club, the Society
of Arts and Crafts has 237 member!
in Boston. 133 In Massachusetts out
side of Boston, twenty-six in other
states and territories and five In for
eign countries, one being In Japan.
The Jury reported that tho work in
metals had Improved much during tho
year, enamels have Improved In color
and design. Wood carving has ini
prored somewhat; textile work and
embroidery hare not Improved, nor
has work in ceramics. The member
ship committee reported that eighty.
six craftsmen and sixteen associates
were added to the society during the
year and fifty-one have dropped out
of membership.
MONUMENTS
tion Day. We have just received a large assortment of
Monuments and Markers of the latest designs and work
manship on them cannot be excelled, as our power cut
ters give an equipment unequalled in this part of the state
EARNEST 6. B&RGMflN
616 West 12th St. Bell Phone 114
Golumbus, Nebraska
You
The medical profession is one that
usually requires instaut service. The
doctor's time is never bis own day or
night. He must answer calls prompt
ly or lose his practice The horse and
buggy used by the doctor to hasten
his call is fast being pushed into the
background and supplanted by the
motor car. In design the Ford Tor
pedo Runabout is the ideal car for the
doctor. It is very
speedy on the road
and always relia
ble. The old say
ing that "Time is
money" iB more
thau true in the
case of the profes
Hional man. In this
jtejTri;MP -
light and powerful Ford car the doc
tor can cover double the ground and
make twice the calls that would be
possible with the horae and buggy.
As to economy in upkeep, it is impos
sible to Gnd a superior to the Model T
Ford On account of its design, light
weight and strong construction, gaso
Hue, oil bills nnd general upkeep have
been reduced to the minimum. The
many hundreds of docton who are to
day using Ford cars, are getting from
25 to 30 miles from a single gallon of
gasoline. It's this economy in nil
Model T cars tbat has made Ford the
popular car for the busy practitioner.
BY
AUTO CO.
COLUMBUS, NEB.
SHIPS THAT KICK LIKE MULE
'Serious Consequences Sometimes En-
sue to the Man r.t Steer
ing Wheel.
Vhen sailors join a ship almost the
first question asked by each one as he
takes the wheel for the first time is:
"Does she kick?"
Kicking, as it is called by seamen. Is
due to the action of the water under
the lee of th rudder, when the ves
sel's stern, which has for the moment
been borne skyward on the crest of a
wave, falls back again into the trough
with such terrific force as to make her
tremble fore and aft. and perhaps
wrench the wheel from the grasp of
the steersman.
Sometimes it happens that he is
taken unawares, and being unable to
let go In time he is flung right over
the wheel to the other side of the deck,
often receiving serious injuries. Some
times a man will be pitched right over
board into the sea, and a recent case
is known of a man who received a
blow under the chin from one of the
spokes and died a few days later from
the effects.
In some of the worst types of kick
ing straps are used regularly in near
ly all weather, and many sailors re
fuse to go to sea in ships which are
known to be confirmed kickers.
"One Man."
"I have a servant girl who is capable
nnd good naturcd and whom I wouldn't
willingly part with, but she troubles
me one way." said Mrs. Clockley to a
visitor. "She is a Finn and knows
but a few words of English, so the ar
rival of anyone from a guest to a gro
cer boy is heralded by her footsteps
and the solemn words:
" 'One man.'
"It is laughable and vexing. I have
to go all the way downstairs to ascer
tain who it is. I am thinkinir of hav-
i ing a series of mirrors put up to rc
! fleet the visitor's image upstairs. Or
! perhaps 1 can invent a conning tower
such as submarines are equipped with.
"At any rate I shall never be able
to stand it until she learns enough
English to tell who wants me."
f K( tS t (f rrfK (S(f(F
The
lh
Franklin M'dse. Go. I
Cl5 (Not Inc.) "
ib .... .
! r, Ladies and Man's
Fine Tailor Made
Suits and Top Goats
ib ib
J 612 West 12th St.
v'i
b Columbus, Nebraska i
b iv
Now is the time' to select
a Monument, so" as To
have it ready for Decora
OF SUCH ARE PROOFREADERS
Uttle Miss Has Painful Struggle Dur
ing Spelling Lesson Conducted
by Her Father.
Ralph Royston, who is a salesman
for one of tho big printing machinery
houses, lives In Dyker Heights, Brook
lyn. He has five children and one of
the youngsters, a girl, is a notoriously
bad speller.
The other evening Mr. Royston was
endeavoring to help the child with her
studies. The girl had to spell "even
ly," and with much painful effort she
started "e," then "t." then hesitated
and haltingly suggested "e" again, and
having progressed thus far stopped.
"Well, go on," said the father, as he
pronounced "evenly" slowly and care
fully, to help the youngster. "What's
after 'e-v-e'r
The HtUe girl thought and thought
and then suddenly saw light.
"R," she said.
Her father, who couldn't understand
why she could not get the word right,
asked her with some Impatience. "Why
V?"
"Oh, yes," exclaimed the HtUe one
with a glad cry of triumph, "that's It!
E-V-E-R-Y-R. Evenly."
Mr. Rovston lauxhed and the sisters
and brother of the struggling speller
laughed, and then the little girl under
stood that she had blundered terribly.
And then she did what a little miss is
sure to do at such a time. She wept
ASIATICS ON BRITISH SHIPS
Growing Preference for Chinese Sea
men Over Britons for 8ervice
Under Red Ensign.
One of the principal grievances
complained of by the union, we be
lieve, is the alleged growing prefer
ence of ship owners for Asiatic sea
men, particularly Chinese seamen, to
British seamen, for service under the
red ensign. The recent declaration by
Winston Churchill, home secretary, Is
to the following pertinent effect: With
regard to the alleged dumping of Chi
nese labor on British ships, the fig
ures show that the number of British
seamen employed in the British mer
cantile marino is steadily increasing,
while the number of Lascars and Asi
atics of all kinds was stationary. In
1905 there were 263,686 persons em
ployed, of whom 180,492 were British
and 43,483 were Lascars and Asiatics.
In 1908 thero were 19S.474 British and
43,960 Lascars and Asiatics, an in
crease of nearly 18,000 British sea
men in four years. It should be re
membered that a very large propor
tion of Lascars and Asiatics employed
were natives of India and British sub
jects. Shanghai Times.
The Astronomer's Cat
The Rev. T. E. Espln, who recently
achieved considerable fame by discov
ering a new star, possesses a tabby
cat. says the London Globe.
The story of Mr. Espin's cat In his
own words Is this: "Last February, re
turning from church on a cold night,
with the ground covered with snow, I
heard lamentations very Bimllar to
what Jeremiah would have uttered,
and on searching about found a young
and quite small cat on the window sill
vers' cold and very starved. I took
him in and fed him and mado inquir
ies, but have never obtained the least
clue as to his owner. He was then
about six months old. We became
keenly attached and his affection has
been so great that on more than one
occasion he saved me the trouble of
eating my dinner by being first in
the field."
Damning Evidence.
"Madam," says the agent of the
black hand, "we have a photograph
of you and Count do Gaylelgh riding
In an automobile. Send $10,000 to us
or we will publish tho picture."
"What care I?" haughtily says the
lady. "The Count is a gentleman in
even way and, besides, he is going to
marry my daughter. There can be no
scandal connected with my riding with
him."
'That's not the point It was an
1908 model car."
With a low moan the unfortunate
woman sank to the floor, after giving
a feeble indicatlo that on reviving
from her faint she would write a
check for the hush money. Life.
Opium In Barrel Staves.
Through some clever work on the
part of the customs secret service
men 199 cans of opium hidden in the
-taves of barrels containing lamp
blacking were seized recently and the
would-be importer and his assistants
were arrested.
As the staves of the barrels were
rather thick just in tho center instead
of being hollowed out. the smugglers
had carved out a small r,ort of pocket
large enough to contain a narrow can
of opium in each stave. When the
staves were set together it was impos
sible to see these openings. Manila
Times.
Dosed by Doser by Arithmetic.
Before wireless telegraphy was
thought of. and the patient rould com
municate with the shore doctor, the
captain was the ship's doctor, says
the London Chronicle. He had a med
icine chest with numbered bottles,
and a bock of instructions. There is a
ship's carpenter still living who owes
his life to the captain's treatment. It
was rheumatism. The captain read
in the book of instructions: "In cases
of rheumatism one tablespoonful of
No. 1 1 three times a day." There had
been a run on Xo. 11. But "6" and
"5" were full. "I reckon that makes
11."' said the captain. And he cured
the carpenter by arithmetic.
The Galaxy of Double Stars.
Coburgi Lane count . . viliac:" cf S00
people, boasts two pairs of twins
" era within the last six weeks, and six
pairs of various ages in attendance
upon its public schools. Upon the
basis of thes facts Colonel Roosevelt
is to be invited to visit Coburg while
in the state and say a tew encourag
ing and congratulatory words to the
parents of the Yllage. Portland Or.
gooian.
COHDTG
TO COLUMBUS
ASSOCIATED DOCTORS, SPE
CIALISTS, WILL BE AT THE
THURSTON HOTEL
Mondau and Tuesdau. Mau
l and 2. and will remain
TWO DAYS ONLY
Remarkable Success of These Tal
ented Physicians in the Treat
ment of Chronic Diseases.
OFFERTHEIR SERVICES
FREE OF CHARGE
The Atfeociutcd Doctors, licensed by
the Btute of Nebraska for the treatment
of deformities and all nervous and chro
nic diuvasee of men, women uud children,
offer to all who call on this trip, consult
ation, examination, advice free, making
no charires whatever, except the nctual
cost of medicine. All that is asked iir
return for these valuable services ib that
every person treated will state the re
sult obtained to their friends and thus
prove to the sick and alllicted in every
city and locality, that at last treatments
have been discovered that are reasonably
sure and certain in their effect.
These doctors arc considered by many
former patients among America'! lead
ing stomach and nerve specialists and
are experts in the treatment of chronic
diseases nnd to great and wonderful
have been their results tbat in tunny
cases it is hard indeed to lied the divid
ing line between skill ucd miracle.
Diseases of the stomach, intestines,
liver, blood, skiu, nerves, heart, epleen,
kidneyor bladder, rheumatism, tciatica,
diabetes, bed-wet line. leg ulcers, weak
lungs and those alllicted with long
standing, deep-seated, chronic diseases,
tbat have ballled the skill of the family
phjbieian should not fail to call.
According to their systesti no mora
operations for appendicitis, jrall stone?,
tumors, goiter or certain foims of can
cer. They wero among tin- lir.-t in
America tp earn the name of the "Blood
less Surgeons," by doing, away with
knife, with blood and with all pain in
the successful treatment of llsest dan
gerous diseases.
If you have kidney or bladder trouble,
bring a two ounce bottle of your urine
for chemical analysis and microscopic
examination.
Deafness often has been cured in six
ty dove.
No matter what your ailmetit iuuj be,
no matter what olhrri may hae told
you, no matter what, experience' you
uity have had with other physicians--, it
will bo to your advantage to ee them at
once. Have it forever nettled in your
mind. If your ci6e i ii.eurabU' they
will give you such advice as may relieve
and staj' tho diseaeo ! not put off
this duty juit owe youre!f or friends or
relatives who are MitTering- because f
your sickmse, hb a visit l his time coAe
you nothing nnd may help juu.
Remember, thin free offer in for two
daysouly.
Married ladies must ootue with their
husbands nnd minors with their fathers.
Office ut Thurston hotel, Columbus,
Monday and Tmeiluy, May S and !.
Hours 10 a. m. to S p. in.
Complex American Legal Problems.
Xo country has such complex and
varied problems to cope with as tho
United States. Conditions arising by
reason of the heavy tide of immigra
tion from all countries, including gen
tiles. Jews, Greeks, Turks. Mohamme
dans, those of all religions and thoser
with none; those coming to promul
gate socialistic doctrines, the perplex
ing Chinese and Japanese questions ic
the west, the abolition of slavery, the
rights of trusts, the organization and
rise of federations of labor, have
raised perplexing quest Ions which have
demanded tho attention more or less
of tho criminal arm of the law.
"Not a hole!
Another
week
without
darning9
Iron Clad
-that's why.
Ask for Cooper Wells & Co.'s
Sio. 99 and get stockings that
not only look well and fit per
fectly with no seams to annoy,
but which give remarkable ser
vice. ufe recommend them.
For Sale Bu
J. H. GALLEY
11: W-sQflr lm
Columbia, Nebraska
SOME GOOD THINGS TO EAT
Novel x Combination of Freeh Mush
rooms With -.Ssusssss- Dtllclous
Egg Dish.
"Have you ever tried broiled, saus
ages with mushrooms?" asks 'a cor
respondent of the Epicure.
"As a matter of fact the sausages
are not broiled at all, bufcthe smallest
of breakfast sausages are laid In a
sizzling hot frying pan and cooked
brown on ono side, then turned and
taken out to drain on paper when suf
ficiently cooked.
"Some fresh mushrooms that have
been peeled are then set cooking In
the sausage fat, and are served -with
the sausages on slices of toast which
have been buttered. For a change add,
a few slices of bacon to the dish ofj
sausages before cooking the mushrooms.
"A certain egg dish that was in
vented in a Latin quarter studio in
Paris is delicious. Butter some little
earthen dishes such as are used for
shirred eggs and break one or two
eggs into each. Sprinkle with salt
and pepper, grate on a liberal quantity
of dry Gruyere cheese, add some bits
of butter, pour over cream to cover
and bake in a? hot oven until the
eggs are set.
"For another dish: Put a sweet
Mexican pepper on Pimento morrones
tho tinned variety In the bottom of
a custard cup or earthen egg cup,
break in a fresh egg, add salt, pepper
and butter, and bake until the egg Is
'sufficiently cooked. Servo with fingers
of crisp buttered toast"
COULD TELL HIS LUCKY DAYS
Man Who Creates Sensation at Monte
Carlo Talks of His Good
Fortune.
"Will Darnborough," said a Bloom
ington man, "is tho sensation of the
Riviera. He has been winning at Mon
te Carlo at tho rate of thirty or forty
thousand a day.
"Will told mo last month, at tho
Cercle de la Mediterraneo in Nice,
that he attributed his good fortune to
the fact that he could always tell his
lucky days.
"He said with a laugh tbat the first
turn of the wheel told him everything.
In its startling revelations the wheol,
he said, suggested the young earl who
fell in love with tho pretty Monte
Carol chambermaid.
"The yonug earl found a Monte
Carlo chambermaid so irresistiblo that
he proposed to her and was, of course,
accepted. So one night he took her
motoring, and in tho course of tho ride
ho produced a bottle of champagne.
" Til open it,' said tho pretty cham
bermaid. 'Oh, let mo open it.'
"And while the car sped along the
Comiche in the moonlight she un
fastened tho foil and wire and twisted
out tho huge cork so deftly that not a
drop of tho champagne escaped.
"But the young earl pushed rudely
from him the pretty, smiling chamber
maid. "'You have deceived me, he mut
tered, hoarsely, 'I am not your first
love.' "
Chrysanthemum Marvels.
Tho great autumn shows of chrysan
themums at Dangozaka. near Tokio,
offer many wonders to their crowds of
visitors.
You will see tho flowers in long
ranks, each plant a facsimllo of tho
next beside it, with exactly tho same
number of blooms on each. And not
merely that; the top bloom will be
fully opened, nnd so make ono of a
perfectly level line of fully opened
blooms; the next will bo nearly
opened and again one of a similar
row; the flowers of tho third row are
open to a less degreo; and so they de
crease to the feet of the plants, where
a row of close green buds extends so
that the wholo long rank presents a
constantly repeated scale of all the
beauties of tho opening flower from
bud to fullest bloom. And the marvel
does not stop even here, for not only
the blossoms but the leaves are
matched in numuer and situation. In
other places Instead of straight lines
the plants aro disposed fan fashion or
In the shape of an umbrella.
More Widows Than Widowers.
The proportion of remarriages
shows an almost continuous decrease,
says the registrar-general In his re
port on tho births, deaths and mar
riages in England and Wales during
1909.
Tho number of widows, he states, is
always much greater than that of
widowers, because in tho first placo
men marry later in life than women;
secondly, because the duration of
male life is shorter than that of fe
male life and thirdly, because tho
proportion of widows who remarry is
much lower than the proportion of
widowers who remarry.
Marriages of persons described as
divorced havo steadily increased and
in. the year 1900 were the highest on
record.
Sings Hymns to Her Chickens.
A woman living near here never
?ays "Chlcky. chlcky, chick". when
she wishes to feed her chickens.
When she goes to the hennery with
feed she sings a church hymn, such
as "Rock of Ages" or "Holy Bible.
Book Divine; Precious Treasure.
Thou Art Mine!" and the "biddies"
make a bco line rush toward her from
all parts of the yard.
The chickens recognize her voire,
nnd will not rush to any other person
with the same speed, even if the
Fame hymns are sung. Clay City
correspondence Indianapolis News.
Then He Struck.
A few days ago a second-class stok
er was paraded before tho command
ing officer cf tho Devonport naval bar
racks on a charge of insubordination.
His Insubordination tool; the form of
resistance to being introduced to the
swimming bath. Asked what he had
to say for himself, tho youth replied:
"Sir. I've only bin in the navy three
days. The first day the doctor drawed
six of my teeth. The second day I
was vaccinated. And the third day
the petty officer he says, 'Cum along.
we'ae a-golng to drown yer!'" Lon-domTruth.
H. F. GREINER
CROCERIES AND
STAPLE DRY GOODS
Corner nth and Olivo Street
Our Goods are the Best
Money Can Buy and
are Sold for
CASH
We have a fine line of Embroidery for'
10c and 15c a yard.
Our Silk Waists are oi the latest J 7C
style and pattern, from $3 to iri 1 9
Ladies' Gauze Vests of all descrip- CAp
tions, from 10c to j)u
Allover Embroidery and Flounces, JZ
from 50c per yard to 1 3b
A good line of Men's fine Shirts, QC
from 50c to tf I iZ J
II you need any Window Shades, we c Ap
have them to sell, each, 25c to JUu
GROCERIES
Our line of
cannot be beat in
Quality as they are
the best money can buy
Now if you are looking for bargains, we
have them to offer, strictly on cash basis:
AC LBS. OF SUGAR FOR
Id Will be sold with every $500
worth oi Merchandise. Satur
day, April 22.
FLOUR the home made product
everybody knows it will be
sold on the same day,
PER SACK
I A BARS OF LENOX SOAP
I U here's where you get more
than your money's worth.
COFFEE, the regular 25c kind
and Tea for 25c per lb.
5 LBS. FOR
COME IN-WE WILL INTEREST YOU
We always pay the highest market price
for Produce and special care will be
given to telephone orders.
GUWJER WAS NOT FLATTERE0
Ladies Visiting the Warship "Put
Their Dirty Paws" AH Over
His immaculate Qun.
A company of ladles were visiting aa
Ironciml. .tjhI paused for a moment on
tho upper deck to examine the can
non. Their admiration was excited by
the shining condition of the great
monsters and one of tho younger mem
bers of tho party, standing near the
gun, placed her delicately-gloved hand
on tho hrass mountings, at tho same
tinio malting some remark about its
beautiful polish.
The gunnor whose duty it was to
kopp the brasswork bright did not ap
poar to he greatly pleased with the
feminine compliments, and the ladies
had no sooner moved away than ho
seized a cloth, sprang to the cannon
which the young lady had touched, and
commenced nibbing It fiercely, all the
v;hi!" casting malevolent glances after
the retreating party.
The officer of tho deck noticed his
action, and remarked:
"Well. Smith, you don't seem to be
tickled as I should think a man would
he with all that flattery."
"Flattery!" said Smith, bitterly.
' Tain't enough for them to come and
look at if nib, nib. mi "but they've
lot to go and put thir dirty pav.-s all
over it." And he kept on scrubbing
the brasswork with his fiercest energy.
YOU are going to LOOK YOUR BEST in that NEW
EASTER SUIT. There's no better time for some new
PICTURES and they are ideal Easter remembrances
for vour friends.
ELITE STUDIO
$1
25c
SI
MERELY OBEYING ORDERS
Policemen of Mexico City Taka-Cvary
Instruction in a Literal
Sense.
Mexico City Is possibly the best po
liced metropolis in the world, but Its
officers, while vigilant, take every In
struction given them in a literal sense.
They will arrest anybody or anything
that violates a city ordinance.
A short time ago. says a New York
er, who recently spent some time In
that city, there was a collision be
tween two automobiles, one of the
machines being so badly damaged
that It had to be left at the place
where tho accident occurred. The
persons occupying the machine were
promptly bundled Into the auto which
was able to proceed and the entire
party went to the police station.
But that did not excuse the broken
car. It was formally arrested on the
Bwt and an officer detailed to see that
it did not get up and limp back to Its
garage. By tome chance the broken
automobile was forgotten for two days.
at tho end of which time the police
captain discovered that he was shy
me gendarme. Investigation discov
ered tho gendarme asleep in the ma
chine, where he had camped out ever
uince charged with Its care. And It
Is very cold up on this Mexican pla
teau at night, as Mexico City Is more
than a mile above Eea level.
T
m
1
h
i
j
'-X&$
-."fcr
