Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (March 22, 1911)
Powered by OpenONI
Consolidated with theJ-o'cnibnc Timo April
1, MKM; with the I'Utto Cunnty ArgOB Jannary
Entered at the PostoJaoe. Colombo. Nebr.. m
..rond-clM nikll matter
O ne year, by mall, porta prepaid $LM
Six month .78
WEDNESDAY. MAKCH J2. mi.
BTBOTHEH & COMPANY, Proprietor.
BkNEWALS The dat opposite yonr name on
onr paper, or wrapper chows to what time yoar
nbecriptinn ta paid. Tho JanOS shows that
payment has been reoeived np to Jan. 1. 1006,
FebOe to Feb. 1, 1806 and to on. When payment
Is made, tho date, which answers aa a receipt,
will be changed accordingly.
rs will continue to rehire this joomal nntll the
pabliabera are notified by letter to discontinue,
whan all arrearages j,& he paid. It yon do not
wish the Journal oontin. for another year af
ter the time paid for uuo expired, yon should
prerioosly notify us to il-toontinue it.
CHANGE IN ADDKESB-When onlcring a
shange in the address, subscribers should be sore
to glva their old as wrll aa their new address.
At the democratic bau-uct in Balti
more last week tho democrats die
played considerable wisdom and
initiative for democrats, or for any
conventional human animals, for that
matter. They felt so good about the
feed that they refused to listen to the
speaker?, or to pretend they were lis
tening to them while- surreptitiously
getting a little much needed sleep.
It is hoped that this precedent may
become general. As a paramount
issue it has free eilver or the bank
guarantee beaten a mile. The free,
downtrodden American citizen has
been, for years, paying too large a
price for his banquets in the attention
bestowed upon the chestnuts of tli
after dinner speaker who doesn't svm
to realize that a majority of his :mli
encc are figuring mi doing a day's
work tomorrow. This rebellion of the
democrats against this plan of being
conventionally' bored deserves more
extensive commendation than it re
Such insurgency is going to bo even
more popular than the common
chautauqua variety. Let the demo
crate make it their paramount issue,
and the tariff will take care of itself.
The boasted democratic harmony,
which has, heretofore, consisted of
republican discord when it consisted
of anything more than hot air, will
thus become a positive entity, and,
gaining recruits from the vast army of
banquet victims, should lead on to
victory the party of Jefferson ami
Jackson and Tammany hall. Atchi
From a Mexican paper called Re
generation published at Los Angeles
it is learned that there are two distinct
revolutionary organizations in Mexico,
the Maderist party and the liberal
party. Regeneration is the orgau of
the liberal party, whose purpose it
outlines as follow:
The liberal part is a proletarian
organization, which has been in the
field for many years. For its lofty
ideals its leaders have buffered impris
onment and persecution both in Mex
ico and in the United States. Twice
before has it launched, in spite of
tremendous odds, a revolution against
the dictator of Mexico, only on both
occasions to be betrayed. Now it is
again in the field, and its revolutionary
groups have been meeting with suc
cess. Liberals are operating in Chi
huahua, Sonora, Lower California and
in many states throughout the south of
The aim of the liberal party is
above all things to labor for tho cause
of the dispossessed. Its leaders are
without personal ambition. It does
uot work to raise to the ofiice of presi
dent any one man. Thai choice shall
remain with the people when the des
pot is overthrown.
The main object of the liberal party
is to overthrow the tyraunical govern
ment, confiscate the enormous estates
which have been made up of property
stolen from the people ami given to
favorites of the dictator, and divide
them among the people. Only thus
can the wretched peons of Mexico
become really free.
The Maderists are led by meu of
wealth who would no doubt attempt
to maintain something akin to the
Diaz regime in case they succeeded in
overthrowing the goven m nt. The
extreme liberals, as this clipping indi
cates, have so radical a program that
there would be no security for life or
property for many years iu case this
party gained the upper hand. It is
agreed that a democracy Mich us we
have in the United States will be ini
p:suble for Mexico for so long a time
that the question is merely academic.
"Why. Harklns. wberc have you
been? You took like a wreck."
'Ml know it My twin brother ana 1
bad a quarrel, and 1 hired a bruiser to
Jlck ntm. The fellow mixed us up.
and here l am." London Tit-illts.
FAMOUS HOAXES OF HISTORY.
When a --wireless" operator, a year
or two ago, yielded to the impulse to
give out a fake report that the warship
Mississippi had blown up in Guau
tanamo Harbor, he perpetrated a hoax
rather worse than the majority of the
historic hoaxes that are recalled for
the purpose of showing how witless
and heartless the tribe of practical
jokers can be when they try. He
displayed rather more than the custo
mary disregard of the feelings of
others, and considerably less ingenuity
and resourcefulness thau have been
shuwu by some of his i.redeccssors. A
hoax of that kind shows no talent ex
cepting for lying which is not so rare
as to be noteworthy.
Between the hoax and the practical
joke there is no real distinction, al
though some restrict the former term
to a play upon the credulity of an
individual or a small group, and the
latter to a fabrication intended to
virtimicin an entire community. If
without purMc of either pleasure,
profit or revenge, it is a mere fake,
such as a certain class of newspapers
delight iu, but which are usually
innocuous on accouut of the reputation
of the sheets that make a habit of
publishing them. If perpetrated for
the personal gain of the author, it be
comes an imposture, like the famous
literary forgeries of Lauder, Henry
Ireland, James Macpherson, Thomas
Chaltertou and George Psalmauazer;
or a swindle like the Arizona diamond
swindle, the exploits of the Humberts
... -,! 1 . 1 iL. It
ami l assie ivmuiwiCK, aim iuc nn
iistt v miu' promotion, or a fraud, like
tin- sale of a gold brick.
However, the am a!s !' this pastime
record one really beneficent hoax, of
which Dean Swift was the author. It
wan conceived and executed at a peiiod
when Loudon wa- .MiHeriug from an
unprecedented epidemic of street rob
beries. A notorious character named
Klliston, one of the fraternity, was
captured, tried, convicted and senten
ced to death. Immediately after his
execution, Swift caused to be printed
ami widely circulated what purported
to be his ante-mortem statement. This
asserted that he had given loan honest
man ( the only one he knew) u confes
sion in which was a list of all his
crimes, the. names of his confederates,
the places they fr qiiented, and the
name.-; ami whereabouts of the "fences"
upon whom he and his partners had
always relied to dispose of their booty.
Still cherishing a f'riciiflly sentiment
towards the powers' that prey, even
with the shadow of the gallows upon
him, he desired to give his old com
panions in crime a ehauce to save
their lives, if not their souls, and re
quired this "honest man" to take a
solemn oath not to divulge the matters
contained in his confession, unless the
continued depredations of the street
robbers made it necessary, when he
was to turn it over to the authorities.
Ellistou's confession was received in
good faith by the public, including the
thieve.--; aud but few crimes of that
nature were committed in Loudon for
Qf the harmless lioaxe?. nut the least
engaging was jterpetratcd three-quarters
of a century ago, when a belief in
witches, goblins, fairies, elves, mer
maids and sea serpents was almost
universal. One night the good people
of the town of Budc were startled by
the news that a real mermaid was
singing upon a rock a short distance
out from the shore. Of course, they
made haste to view the wonder. Sure
enough, there she sat, as thinly clad as
any modern Salome, braiding her long
black tresses and singing a melancholy
soug. For three more nights she. made
her appearance at about the tame
hour, apparently oblivious of the
crowds that gathered to view her
charms. On the la.-t night it was
noticed that her voice was hoarse. To
the amazt-ment -f the listening throng,
she sang "God Save the King," and
then dived into ocean's depths. Al
though her reappearance was watched
for through many weary moons, the
mermaid of Bude was seen no more.
It was years before the truth leaked
out that the mermaid was only a fun
loving divinity student, with his legs
enveloped in an oilskin and his head
covered with plaited seaweeds. The
moonlight and the imaginations of the
spectator supplied whatever else was
necessary iu the way of !eauty, grace
and other mermaidenl y attributes.
Critics, scholars, scientists aud anti
quaries have always been regarded by
the concoctors of hoaxes as their legi
timate prey. The temptation to hum
ble intellectual arrogance, to expose
the shallowness of those who think
their learning most profound, to hold
up to ridicule the pretensions of
specialists, is one to which many men
of ability have yielded. In 1S4.'J
Johann Meinhold cast suspicion upon
the methods and results of the "Higher
Criticism" by hia exposure of the
fallibility of the Tubingen school of
critics. These claimed to be able to
tell, by internal evidence, the epoch to
which any human composition be
longed. Applying their methods to
the Gospels, they pronounced certain
passages to be monkish interpolations
introduced centuries after the original
manuscripts were written. To almost
every chapter they assigned a date, and
with dogmatic positiveness they claim
ed to be able to decide upon the.
authenticity of every verse. Meinhold
had little faith in their pretensions;
and to prove that they were fakers he
wrote "The Amber Witch," purport
ing to be a chronicle of events that
took place early in the Seventeenth
Century. The critics swallowed it
Michael Angelo's grouch against
the critics was wholly personal. He
grew exceedingly weary of hearing
them lament the decline of art, and
bewail the inferiority of modern to
ancient sculpture. So he knocked au
arm of! a cupid and otherwise muti
lated it; buried it for a while, and
then produced it as an antique. The
critics were vociferous in its praise.
Joseph Scaliger was similarly duped
by Muretus, with some Latin vcries,
which the famous critic ascribed to au
old comic poet, Trabeus, and praised
as one of the most precious fragments
of antiquity. We cau imagine and
sympathize with the unholy joy with
which Muretus proclaimed his own
In much the same spirit did a dis
appointed literary aspirant once copy
Sampsou Agouistes, rechristen it "Like
a Giant Refreshed," and mail it in
turn to every editor iu London. By
all it was "declined with thanks," the
many reasons assigued proving so
amusing that they were published iu
the St. James Gazette. However, not
one of the editors to whom it was sub
mitted made the discovery that Milton
was the author, nor was the divine
spark of genius apparent to their dis
cerning judgment. It is whispered
that similar mean-spirited tricks have
more thau once been played upon some
of the great editors of America.
In 17.r0, a British wit aided by ap
engraver, cut upon a flat stone a num
ber of words so divided that they were
"deciphered" as a Latin inscription
relating to the Emperor Claudius.
When the highbrows had satisfied them
selves and the public that they knew
all about it, the joker came forward
aud explained that the inscription was:
"Beneath this stone reposcth Claud
Coster, tripe seller, of Impington, as
doth his consort, Jaue." Similarly
the learned antiquarians assembled at
Banbury, labored long and vainly to
interpret an inscription that proved to
be "Hide a Cock Horse" written back
ward. One of the most successful hoaxes of
this nature perpetrated in this country
was fathered by Frank Cowan, a news
paper writer of Greensburg, Pa., em
ployed at the time upon a Pittsburg
paper. He produced a stone, bearing
weather-worn inscriptions in Runic
characters, and wrote descriptions of it
which were printed iu many newspa
pers and scientific periodicals. These
attracted widespread attention. The
Runic inscription was believed to sup
ply absolute confirmation of the dis
covery of America by Lief Ericson
and his hardy Norsemen, centuries be
fore Christopher Columbus was born;
to prove, furthermore, that the Norse
discoverers had crossed the Alleghen
ics and enetrated the continent as far
as the Ohio Valley. Some of the
learned gentlemen of the Smithsonian
Institution journeyed all the way to
Greensburg, inspected the Runes, and
were beautifully taken in. Then the
joker turned the whole story into
"copy" that made his managing editor
dance with delight, exposing the easy
credulity with which the scientific
sharps had swallowed the manufactur
ed antiquities id' an obscure rejHirter.
Thirty years ago, in 17!', the New
York Graphic pompously announced
that Thomas A. Edison had perfected
a process for manufacturing a pala
table and nourishing food out of inor
ganic elements as, for example, out
of common clay; and that the farmer
and gardener were in imminent dan
ger of losing' their jobs. Edison's in
ventions had been following one an
other in such rapid successions that
people were ready to believe any mar
vel, if backed by his name. Conse
quently, newspapers of high aud low
degree copied the yarn, aud devoted
to it yards of sagacious editorial com
ment dilating upon the profound signi
ficance of the new stride towards a
complete mastery of the secrets of Na
ture; and the patent office at Washing
ton was deluged with inquiries as to
whether the new process had been pa
tented. Then the Graphic came out
with an unfeeling jibcwent the cred
ulity of its "esteemed contemporaries,"
printing columns of editorial asininities
under the insulting caption, "They
Barnum's peroxide elephant cannot
appropriately be classed as a hoax, in
as muck as it was bleached, not as a
joke, but for purposes of gain.
No matter what freak or curiosity was
placed on exhibition Barnum made it
a point of honor to acquire it. Fail
ing in that, he would produce some
thing else "just as good." So when
the Cardiff Giant became the subject
of heated controversy between those
who believed it was a petrified giaut
oY prehistoric aires, and those who
thought it was only an aucicut statue,
Barnum did his best to buy it. The
owners refused to sell at any price.
Nothing daunted, the showman had
auothcr made, which he exhibited as
the original and only genuine. In
this case the counterfeit was iu truth
"just as good" as the real thing, for
the Cardiff Giant itself was a hoax.
It was manufactured at the instauce of
George Hull of Binghamton,N. Y., to
confound a reverend gentleman by the
name of Turk, whose home was in
Ohio. The discussion it provoked
would fill volumes.
Strangely enough the New York
Suu won world wide fame aud a com
mandiugplacc iu American journalism
by means of a daring hoax. It hap
pened in 1835. Sir Johu Hcrschel
was then at the Cape of Good Hope,
and the editor of the Sun, Richard
Allen Locke, put his wits to working
and concocted an amazing tale, in
which the famous astronomer was the
star character. Sir John, it was rela
ted, had constructed a telescope with
an object glass, twenty-four feet in dia
meter, and a lens that weighed J -1,821"
pounds! On January 10, 1835,
this wonderful telescope had been
turned upon the moon, and strange in
deed was the vision unfolded before the
astonished eyes of the astrouomer.
Then followed a detailed accouut of
what he saw. The animals of the lu
nar plaius were described to the minut
est particulars; weird valleys, tremend
ous rivers and vast forests were located
and named; aud fantastic dwellings,
I strange temples and many other won
ders were eloquently descanted upon.
The Sun "laid it on" so thick that it
seems amazing that the story was re
garded in any other light than as a
fake. Yet it was universally believed
and, as one writer expre.-sed it, every
body forthwith became moon-struck.
Every newspaper in America copied
the yarn; stat esmeu discussed it, scien
tists believed it, and ministers preached
about it. Then a rival journal dissect
ed the tale, showed up its glaring in
consistencies, its rank absurdities and
its manifest impossibilities; aud the
Sun threw olf the mask and enjoyed its
Nine years later in April. ISM
the New York Sun again hoaxed its
confiding readers, giving an accouut
of the "Signal Triumph of Mr. Mouck
Mason's Fiyiug Machine," which was
said to have crossed the Atlantic in
three days, with eight passengers. A
full account of the aerial voyage, the
incidents of the trip, and the mechan
ism of the craft that sailed the empy
rean followed. Possibly the memory
of the Moon Hoax had not faded from
men's minds. Anyway, the imaginary
air ship did not make much of a sensa
tion; aud when the fake was exposed
there were multitudes who could
truthfully say, "1 told you so."
It was in the year 1JH0 that Dr.
Frederick- Cook .(Kansas City
Dofliver and th Dahlias.
The dahlia it a flower that is almost
sacred to Scandinavians. When the
lato Senator Dolliver was speaking fo
a Swedish settlement from the rear
end of a Pullman car a bunch of dahlias
was banded to him, and he bowed bis
thanks, while the crowd roared its ap
plause for the orator and for the bou
quet, "What kind of flowers are these?"
Inquired Senator Dolliver of Senator
Clapp of Minnesota.
"American Beauties. I guess." replied
Dolliver knew better than that, so
he heartily thanked the people for
their attention, applause and splendid
When they met In Washington after
the campaign Senator Dolliver said to
the Minnesota man : "Clapp, you would
have bad rac mobbed if I hadn't been
prudent If I bad called those dahlias
American Beauties those Swedes
would have been for killing me."
"Yes," said Senator Clapp. "they are
good people and generally do the right
thing." Minneapolis Journal-
Why Ha Wept.
A man who was walking through a
train Inadvertently left the door of one
of the cars open. A big man sitting in
a seat In the middle of the car yelled:
"Shut the door, you fool! Were you
raised in a barn?"
The man who had left the door open
closed It and then, dropping Into a
seat; buried bis face In bis hands and
began to weep. The big man looked
somewhat uncomfortable and, rising,
finally walked up to the weeper and
tapped him on the shoulder.
"My friend." he said. "I didn't Intend
to hurt your feelings. I Just wanted
yon to close the door."
The man who was weeping raised
his head and grinned. "Old man." be
said, "I'm not crying because you hurt
my feelings, but because you asked me
If I was raised in a barn. The sad
fact Is that I was raised In a barn, and
every time I hear an ass bray It makes
me homesick." Louisville Times.
What Was Lacking.
The Hobo Please, mum. I'm a sick
man. Dc doctor gimme dis medicine,
but I needs assistance In takln i'. The
Lady Poor fellow! Do you want a
spoon and a glass of water? The Ho
boNo. mum: I wouldn't trouble yrr.
But dis medicine lias? to be took before
weals. Have yer got a meal handy? -Cleveland
BIT OFF TOO MUCH.
Unthinking Sau Franciscans, little
reck ye what is coming on the wings of
time! Vainglorious now over the win
ning of the great caual fair for 1915,
ye dream of civic blossomiug such as
no American city has yet put forth.
Think not to have the garden without
the-' weeds. They are coming. Al
ready every faker and "streetman" in
the country has put down, "San Fran
cisco, 1915," in his dingy eugagement
book. Swindlers aud confidence men
are taking notice, and so, too,are those
feminine sneak thieves who find their
golden opportuuity wheu housewives
are ottering rooms to out of town
guests. Already such are chuckling
to thiuk how much small property
they cau make off with while the mis
tress of the house is crying up her
O ye Sau Franciscans, the cot-bed
is coming! The rooming sign is com
ing! Like an eruption upon the face
of your streets shall break out the rash
of cheap sigus. Decent, respectable
old family homes shall sport labels.
"The Bridal." "Exposition View,"
"The Ballyhoo." The rooming house
solicitor is coming too. You shall not
hear the sound of iucoming trains for
the noise of his insistcut, never ceasing
clack. And there shall be feuds be
tween housewives, the friends of a life
time quarreling over who shall snatch
the most roomers.
The souvenir is coming; and the
stands of them that sell souvenirs
shall invade your principal streets that
look unutterably cheap. Aud if your
laws will not allow stands on the side
walks, then breaches will be made in
the walls of your business buildings
and souvcuir stands let iu. But the
stands will come. Aud pink lemonade
will fie sold ujMii)our boulevards and
also peanuts, popcorn nd corn fritters
a meal iu every package,a nickel a half
And there shall be shows, Penny
vaudeville shall be choice compared
to those shows Paris by Gaslight,
Daute's Inferno, Cripple Creek Gam
bling Den and thiugs like that. These
shall break out on your main thorough
fares and keep just out of reach of the
police. Aud out near the exposition
grounds all the unsavory shows which
fail to get into th true and holy Mid
way, they shall camp round about the
walls. Aud there shall be murders
and riots among the duhiousshowfolk.
and the odium thereof shall attach to
the true and holy Midway within the
walls. And thercshall he quick-lunch
kiosks and Bohemian beer gardens, and
night lunch wagons prowling by day.
And there shall be ten cent soda and
all prices according. And every
man's maid servant shall threaten to go
away and get a job at the fair.
And there shall be exposition slang.
And every true San Franciscan
shall be bled for stock aud gate tickets
and second mortgage bonds and then
more gate tickets and the deficit.
And there will be guests. The son
of your great uncle's step brother from
Jamaica will come to visit you, aud
the grand niece of voiir brother in law's
most cordially detested aunt.
Aud there shall be conventions.
And ye shall not find room upon your
own street cars. And straugcrs shall
dig you iu tiie ribs with their umbrel
las and say: "What's that?" And
when you tell them what it is, they
shall say: "Do you suppose he
And you shall cry unto yourselves.
"Lawk a mercy on us, this is none of
San Francisco!" Boston Transcript.
The Speedier Way.
He simply couldn't help It. Up was
As a rule. If not too sleepy, ho could
get through a shave In about thirty
five minutes I'ut today, after only
fourteen liours" sleep, ho appeared even
more sluggish than ever. As he ap
plied the lather to his customer's
beard His brush lingered haltingly, as
though loath 10 leave the stubby chin
to which it w:ls neing applied.
His customer was a patient man and
stood this for a considerable while.
But at Jast his patience began to ooze,
and he interrupted a forty winks in
terval with a cough.
"S'erc. lad." ho suggested. "Aa've an
idea. Hold your hand, keep tha brush
still, an' aa'li wag ma head for ye!"
Making Things Hum In Rome.
The Romans had three recognized
methods of applauding the bombus,
the Imbrices and the testae. The word
bombus did not carry any allusion to
explosives. On the contrary- this form
of applause was the most decorous. In
asmuch as it consisted merely of a
humming or buzzing noise. Thus in a
way the Romans were the first "to
make things hum" in a public assem
bly. The bombus was not the chief
feature the Romans had to offer in the
way of applause. The imbrices meant
a demonstration made with the hollow
of the hands. The testae meant the
striking together of the flat portions of
the bands. From this we may con
clude that the Romans clapped, but
there Is no certainty on this point
New York Herald.
A Rite and a Wrong.
"Marriage." remarked the professor,
"was a rite practiced by the an
cients" "And bachelorhood." Interrupted a
maiden of forty, "is a wrong practiced
by the modern." Boston Transcriot
Attractive Rates for March ' :
VERY LOW ONE-WAY RATES TO PACIFIC COAST. A general
basis of 323 00 for one-way colonist tickets to California, Oregon. Waahing
ton and the Far West, daily from March 10th to April 10th. Ticketeare
honored in coaches and through tourist sleepers.
THROUGH TOURIST SLEEPING SERVICE. Ever-day to Los Angelee,
via Denver, Scenic Colorado, Salt Lake Route.
Every day to San Francisco, March 10th to April lOtb, via Denver, Scenic Col
orado, Ogden; personally conducted tourist sleeper excursions every Thurs
day and Sunday to 'Frisco, thence Los Angeles via Coast Line.
Every day to Seattle, Portland and Northwest.
HOMESEEKERS' EXCURSIONS. March 7ih and 2lst, to new territory
south, west and northwest, including Big Horn Baein.
YELLOWSTONE PARK. Think now about touring the Park this anmmcr;
inquire about the new and attractive way through this woaderland, an
eight-day personally conducted camping tour from Cody, via the scenic
entrance, every thing providedvdifferent from all other tours. An ideal
recreative and scenic outing for a small party of friends to take. Address
Aaron Holm, Proprietor, Cody, Wyo., or the undersigned.
If you are expecting to make any kind of a summer tour I
shall be glad to have you get in touch with meearly.
A Perfectly Recognizable Child of the
Old Kentish Tongue.
In a little book entitled "London's
Dialect" Mr. Mackenzie Macbride chal
lenges the view expressed by the edu
cation department of the London
county council that "there is no Lon
don dialect of reputable antecedents
and origin." and that "the cockney
mode of speech is a modern corrup
He points out that the London dia
lect, especially on the south side of
the Thames, is a perfectly recognizable
child of the old Kentish tongue, to
which we owe our earliest written lit
erature. "Thet" for "that." "benk" for
"bank." "kob" for "cab," are remnants
of the old Kentish mode of pronuncia
tion. In the Kentish dialect "that" was
spelt "thet" as early as A. D. S2". The
use of "i" for "a." as in "lidy." was
common from the Trent to the Thames
in Elizabeth's time, and John Stow,
writing in 13SO. gives us "bylyffe" for
"bailiff." The use of "au" for "a" in
such eockneyisms as "telcgraupli" is
of very old origin, and "abaht" and
ahtside" arc both warranted by an
cient use. As "for "kep" and "slep"
without the final "t," they are really
uncorruptcd words, the "t" being an
intruder of late date.
A Shabby Coat Collar.
Very often the collar of a coat be
gins to look shabby when the coat
itself is in good order, and it is won
derful what a difference a thorough
cleaning will make. First take a
piece of clean cloth and dip it in spir
its of turpentine and rub the collar
thoroughly with it Leave it for ten
minutes, then rub It again with the
turpentine and scrape It carefully to
remove any loose dirt. Next sponge
the collar with a little alcohol and
keep wiping it until It is dry. Hang
it up in an airy place for an hour or
two and it will look as good as new.
Boston Herald. '
How It Was.
"She's very wealthy?"
"Money left to her?"
"No. She Is the author of a book
entitled 'Hints to Beautiful Women.' "
"1 presume all the beautiful women
In the country purchased It?"
Xo; but all the plain women did!"
Now York Herald.
"How's your wife's cold this morn
ing?" asked a neighbor.
"Much better, thank you. There's
a dance tomorrow evening that she
wajits to go to." Detroit Free Tress.
When a man sits down and hopes
for the best he is apt to get the worst
- - "VAX.LVG.
v Ps. t eyjJpufrYc h
!- - V
c :a. I; .
.. .-'v--... : .
i- 'vl- .""kr.SrUBiavur HBiv;iv
..V. ' - .',BiKt, JHBWBNOl
, (r1 4SdHHBBBBBHQMHBHEflBjEKZlx2-'VLBI
S" . .m f.CflBBBBBBii1BERBBBBBBBBBnKKaBBBH
- i -vl?iS9ySiii2SHEfillKH
Tft tt" i '-ii rffTwnrr-"'1" sr iwi.yjAr'zTi
.'jf-i"." . irr'-' -
In fact, for anything in tbe book
binding line bring your work to
b. F. RE6T0R, Ticket flflCtt
L. Hf. WrlKfcLfcY. Gen'l. Paeiier Aent. Oman. Mer
TORTURE BY WATER.
The Third Degree In Sorcery Case In
Louis XIV.'s Time.
One of the methods adopted by
Louis XIV. to purge bis kingdom of
sorcery was the "question ordinary."
This, according to U. Duval in "Shad
ows of Old Paris." consisted in having
ten pints of water poured into the
"The executioner placed the prisoner
in a recumbent position, firmly tied
upon a table. A block was slipped un
der tho loins, so that the chest and
stomach were thrown outward and
upward, while the contents of a meas
ure of two pints were forced by means
of a hose down the victim's mouth.
If he resisted his nose was held until
he opened his teeth to breathe. After
every two pint measure be was given
a few seconds' rest and the opportuni
ty to confess. If he continued his de
nial the question was reapplied until
the whole ten pints had been con
sumed. "In the 'question extraordinary' he
quantity administered was augmented
to twenty pints. The swelling caused
by this unnatural amount of liquid in
the Iwdy produced the most acute ago
ny." Knew the Risks.
Chloe, a huge black cook of middle
age, came to her mistress one day with
the announcement that she was about
to be married. Hcgretting the loss of
an excellent cook and having real in
terest in Chloe's welfare, her mistress
"I hope. Chloe. you appreciate the
fact that marriage is a serious thing
and you have considered carefully in
regard to the step you are about to
take. Marriage brings great responsi
bility." "'Deed it does, ma'am!" said Chloe.
with emphasis. "I reckon I knows, fo'
I's been mah'ied fo times. I knows,
just what reesks yo' takes when yo;"
done git mah'ied. My last divo'ce cost
me twenty-five dollahs. but I made him
pay half of it. Yo ucvah know what
yo is gittin into when yo gits mah'
ied." Washington Star.
Ruins of Yucatan.
The explorations of Arthur Diosy In
Yucatan brought to light many new
facts about the stupendous ruins
which stretch through the country in
a chain SOO miles long. The most
amazing thing about these ruins, ac
cording to Mr. Diosy, is that the peo
ple who possessed such high archi
tectural skill and the knowledge of
rich and graceful decorative arts, be
longed to the stone age and had no
knowledge of metals. These wonders
iu stone were carved with flint imple
ments and a civilization which has
been compared to that of Egypt grew
up without even the use of bronze and
.--5-- SK. w
-. --. -r awpz
iJHtX&.mmKma'iif -' - - -- , ,.
twimmmr' - -k-:i 'Jt-v ., . .
-- f- aUBBBBBHHDarS
! T UA1'UBBKMiH4inHNn' j ,'- r- &, n miT- . IT.
r- ; ?i:,Z&Xm3&!r&& vgVJggT