& h 't ohn Henry's R PLAN By GEORGE liunch and I had framed up a plan whereby we vtc to corral the money that I'ncle Peter was losing at the rare track, giving it baci: to him later ?,ith proper admonitions. .Ve were Kceklnp lky Schwartz with a view :o having him act for us as book maker, and we soon located him in ?ront of the Metropcle. In order to dazzle him, liunch led the way to 1 tee. tor's. "leave everything to me." Bunch whispered, as we shaved our hats and put our feet undr a table. "What kind of gasolene do you want to put in your boiler room?" I inquired, as the waiter drew near. "A quart of Green Seal Sec," liunch ordered. 'That's the only ful for littl" me. It has every other kind of suds pushed off the ice. Creen Seal lor mine whenever I want to hear the birdies sing how about it. Ikey?" Ikoy flashed a grin and tried to swallow his palate, so it wouldn't in terfere with the wet spell suggested by liunch. Ikey belonged to the "dls, dose and dem" push. Every sentence lie uttered was full of splintered grammar. Every time Ikey opened his word chest the King's English screamed for help, and hteratute got a kick in the slats. lie was short and thin, but it was a deceptive thinness. His capacity for storing away free liquids was awe inspiring and a sin. I think Ikey must have been hollow from the neck to the ankles, with emergency bulkheads in both feet. It soon developed that Ikey had lHen up ag.iinst a losing streak, and he was about ready to quit till his hoodoo went off duty, but if we were willing to pay tor the chalk he'd keep the shop open another week and fol low our instructions to the letter. "How much will it set us back for running expenses?" I inquired, while Ikey dove into the wine-glass and came up :gain for a long breath. "Only a few hundred," liunch broke In. "Th.it "s merely- a detail. .John. Hcsides, we'll make Uncle Peter pay for the medicine if it cures his at tack of rush of money to the lingers ho won't care. Von don't suppcm we're going to open a life-saving sta tion for his benefit and pay for the privilege, do you? Not for mine. Johnny!" "You're right, liunch." 1 acquiesced; "ve'll deduct all expenses before handing I'ncle Peter back his squan dered fortune; that's only fair." "Is dis old geezer upholstered wit' coin?" Ikey asked. "Who. I"iicle Peter?" 1 answered. "Say. he has nearly all there is in the v,orld. Every time he signs a cheek a National bank goes out of exist ence, lb' tried to count it once, but ht sprained his wrists and had to quit." Ikey's eyes twinkled. He was ho dply interested he lorgot to dip up the bubble-juice. "I'ncle Peter." I went on; "why, when he goes in'o a bank the govern ment bonds get up and yell, 'Hello, like a sheep-shearing. He has mus cles all over him like Sandow's. just from lifting mortgages. Uncle Peter can make Rockefeller's wad look as mean as a $." bill at a ehereh bazaar. Every time Uncle Peter thinks how much money he has he gets enlarge ment of the brain, just to accommo date the figures am 1 right. Hunch?" "Don why not let dat old Guzam uisol his dough-pan?" asked Ikey in astonishment. "Youso is eommittiif a crime to stop an old Gazabo 'ike dat from cuttin' loose. What he needs is a helper and I ain't a bit busy." "John has his joh rags on; don't mind him. Ikey!" admonished Hunch. "Undo Peter is well fixed, but if he keeps on throwing his coin at the horses they'll kick their initials all over his assets, sure thing. Now, boys, it's all understood, eh? Ikey. we'll meet you at the track tomorrow and arrange our plan of campaign. Here's to oar scheme, ami drink hearty!" I Itey went overboard for a final t swim In the Green Seal, when sud denly Hunch tapped me on the arm ' "Look!" he said, and the net in .slant I beheld Clara J.. Aunt Martha and Tacks sailing over in our direc tion. With a whispered admonition to Bunch to keep Ikey still I went for ward to meet my wife, her aunt and her small brother. "It was such a delightful day that Aunt Martha and I couldn't resist the temptation to do a little shopping." ' Clara J. rattled en; "and then we de- j elded to come here for a bit of lunch- j eon Thy. Mr. Hunch: I'm o glad to i see you! I understood John to say you ! were in South America! Really! How ! lovely: John, hadn't we better take another table mi that your friendly conference may not be interrupted?" I hastened to assure (Mara J. that it wasn't a conference at all. We had met Mr. Schwartz quite by accident. Then I . introduced Ikey to the ladies. He got up and did something that was supposed to be a bow, but you conldn't tell whether he was tleing his shoe or coming down a step lad der. "When Ikey tried to bend a society double he looked like one of the pic tures that go-ps with a rubber exer ciser, price 75 cents. After tuej had ordered club sand--wiches and coffee I explained to Clara J. and Aunt Martha that Mr. Schwartz was a real estate dealer. "Bunch and I are going in a Utile deal with Mr. Schwartz," I explained. He knows the real estate business backwards. Mr. Schwartz has a fad V. HOBART for collecting apartment houses. lie owns the largest assortment of people coops in the city. All the modern improvements, too. Hot and cold windows, running gas and noiseless janitors. Mr. Schwartz is the inven tor of the idea of having two baths in evory apartment so that the lessee will have less excuse for not being water broke." Ikey never cracked a smile. "In Mr. Schwartz's apartment houses." I continued, while Runch kicked my shins under the table; "you vill And self-freezing refrigerators and self-leaving servants. All the rooms are light rooms, when you light the gas. Two of his houses overlook the park and all of them overlook the building laws. The floors are made of concrete so that if you want to bring a horse in the parlor you can do so without kicking off the plaster in the flat below. Every room has folding doors, and when the wa ter pipes burst the janitor has folding arms." "Quit your joshing, John! you'll embarrass Mr. Schwartz," laughed liunch somewhat nervously, but Ikey's rin never flickered. "Is Mr. Schwartz deaf and dumb?" Clara J. whispered. Intermittently so," I whispered back; "sometimes for hours at a time "Look," He Said, and the Next Instant I Beheld Clara J, Aunt Martha and Tacks. he cannot sneak a word and can hear rnly the loudest tones." Aunt M.irtha heard me and the good old soul was all sympathy at once. She sat next to our bookmaker friend so she leaned over in an ef fort to be pleasant, put her mouth close to the astonished Ikey's ear and yelled in a shrill treble, "Lovely day. Mr. Schwartz!" Poor Ikey looked reproachfully at the old lady a second, then with gath ering astonishment he slid silently off the chair and struck the floor with a bump. Aunt Martha was so rattled over this unexpected effort on ?Ir. Schwartz's part that she upset her coffee and Ikey got most of it in the back of the neck. When peace was finally restored Punch inquired about I'ncle Peter's health. "Never better," answered Aunt Martha. "During the IasUfcw months be has gone about more than he used to. Almost every day he is at the race track in the interest of the so ciety he is a member of." "What society is that?" Hunch in quired. "The S. P. C. A.." replied the old "Is the Old Geezer Upholstered Wit Coin?" Ikey Asked. lady. "Peter tells me that there is much cruelty to animals practised at the race track so he has determined to do all lie can to stop it." I winked at Bunch and immediate ly he began to cough till I thought the boy would choke. I would have given eight dollars for a good excuse to laugh out loud. Ikey took it all in without ba'ting an eye. "I think Uncle Peter is awfully good and noble to devote his time to such a worthy cause, don't you, Mr. Bunch?" inquired Clara J. Bunch mumbled something incoherent and took another choke. "I'm so glad that John has really made up his mind never to bet an other penny on horses," Clara J. went en. "I think when a man has lost a whole lot of money in that mannei and thee wins it back by accident he chould be satisfied and not tempt Fortune again, don't you, Mr. Bunch?" "I certainly do," replied Bunch vig orously. "Oh. I'm all through." I added. "I wouldn't bet another dollar on a skate, not If they promised to hurry it around the track in an automobile not for mine!" Clara J. patted me lovingly on the back and Aunt Martha beamed over her glasses. Bunch was fixing his throat for an other choke when suddenly my youth ful brother-in-law. Tacks, came to the surlace with a letter in his hand. Tacks had spotted the" missive ly ing on the floor near Ikey's chair, so young Mr. Buttinski had to get busy and pick It up. "Here's a letter I found on the floor," he chirped, and then to show the profound depths of his learning the little imp read the address in slow, deliberate tones, "Mr. I. Schwartz. Bookmaker, Brighton Beach Race Track. New York." Clara J. went into the ice business right away quick. Ikey never whimpered. Then Bunch took the letter from the open-eyed Tacks and leaped to the rescue while I came out of the trance slowly. "It's too bad Mr. Schwartz forgot his ear trumpet." Bunch said quickly, and Ikey was wise to the tip in a min ute. Clara J. sniffed suspiciously and 1 knew she had the gloves on. ".Mr. Schwartz's affliction is terri ble,' she said with a chill in every word. "How did you converse with him before our arrival?" "Oh! he understands the lip lan guage and can talk back on his fin gers." 1 hastened to explain, lookins hard at Ikey, whose mask-like face gave no token that he understood what was going on. "I thought I understood you to say ' Mr. Schwartz is a real estate dealer!" I Peaches continued, while the ther- mometer went lower and lower. I "So he is," I replied, mentally ar ranging pleasant surprises for Tacks . in the near future. I "Then why does his correspondent address Iiim as a Rnnkmnkpr'" mv wife said slowlv. and I could hear the icebergs grinding each other all around me. "I think I can explain that." Bunch put in quietly. Then, with the utmost deliberation he looked Ikey in the eye and said, "Mr. Schwartz, it's really none of my business, but would you mind telling me why you, a real es tate dealer, should have a letter in your possession which is addressed to you as a Bookmaker? Answer me on your Angers." Ikey delivered the goods. In a minute he had both paws working overtime and such a knuckle twisting no mortal man ever indulged in before. "He says." Bunch began to inter pret, "that the letter is not his. It is intended for Isadore Schwartz, a wicked cousin of his who follows the races. Mr. Schwartz is now complain-1 ing bitterly with his fingers because I his letters and those intended for his renegade nephew become mixed i almost every day. These mistakes i are mado because the initials arc i identical. He also says that he : hopes the presence of this particular letter in his posses i sion does not offend the la-1 dies because while it is ad- dressed to a race track gam bier the contents are quite harmless being but a small bill from the dentist." Ikey's fingers kept on working nervously as though he felt it his dut to wear them out, and the perspira tion rolled off poor Bunch's forehead "Tell him to cease firing." I said tc Bunch; "he'll sprain his fingers and lose his voice." Ikey doubled up all his eight fingers and two thumbs in one final shout and subsided. "I'm afraid we'll miss the 4:1S train if we don't hurry," said Peaches, and I could see that the storm was over, although she still glanced suspicious ly at poor Ikey. "Buy Ikey two more quarts ol Green Seal and let him wade around in it." I whispered to Bunch as we started for the depot. As we pulled out of the Mayonnaise Mansion I looked back at Ikey :c thank him with a farewell nod. He was half way under the table holding both hands to his sides, and making funny faces at the carpet. Bunch was ahead of us, indulging in another choke. (Copyright by G. W". PininRham Co.) Birds Powers of Flight. It has been calculated that a gliding bird, at a height of 1.200 yards, at the moment when it commences to de scen irlth motionless wings, can by setting them at the most favorable angle touch the ground at a horizon tal distance of about 15 miles! If the wind fall, large birds can always, with a few wing beats, attain an alti tude where they will find a wind which will permit them to continue their journey "on the glide." Rutterniaking is an art Fresh fruit Is always delicious. Gapes Is caused by a small worm in the windpipe. Most farm buildings close to the dwelling. njre built too In preparing a seed bed for sweet clover do a thorough Job. Very little is known about the actual value of rye as a poultry food. The barn that is banked up will have fewer draughts over the floor. Don't leave your valuable farm ma chinery standing unprotected in the field. Oat straw is an excellent rough feed for sheep. Wheat straw is next in value. Overcrowding the ewe flock during the winter months is a frequent .cause of severe losses. Very early spraying with Bordeaux is the thing for all kinds of fungus rot and for peach leaf curl. Fresh, green bone Is of itself almost a complete feed, and may be used as a special material for egg production. Farmers should not buy more land until that which they already have Is producing to its maximum capacity. Exercise Is of prime importance in several ways. It keeps the pigs nim ble and in a healthy condition gener ally. Before putting the chicks Into the brooder It is a good plan to sprinkle thein carefully with a good Insect powder. One of the first needs of the pigs is t a comfortable place in which to pass more than half of the time, sleeping t and resting. t Breeding stock should be selected j for health, strength, vigor and matu- 1 rity first, utility second and fancy j points third. II !s a wel1 known fart 1,iat Properly managed a .w. w or ju acre larm win return in addition to a living. a tine income for the family. The dairyman having a productive farm of ISO to 100 acres can easily raise slx to eiht of his ,,ost marked tomalb calves each season. The annual Income from milk and butter in the United States is said to be more than the output of the gold and the silver mines. Carrots are fed to horses not so much for their feeding value, but for their influence In keplng the digestive organs in good condition. It requires Ice to handle milk, cream or butter, so see to It that you will be fully supplied with this cheap article for next summer's use. Fowis should always be starved for at least 21 hours before being killed, so as to have their crop3 and intes tines thoroughly free from food of any kind. There is a steady demand for nuts. The English walnut, pecan. Spanish. Japanese and American chestnuts. butter nuts and most profitable. shellbarks are the The difficulties experienced in spreading poultry manure, on account of its sticky consistency, may be ob viated by mixing with loam, peat or common stable manure. Provide shelter for all of the ani mals on cold and rainy nights of spring weather. Shelter means sa' ing of feed, and making the animals grow and produce better. t Condiments that stimulate egg pro duction are very much like anything that stimulates a human being. After the immediate results wear off the bird is in worse shape than before be ing fed. One of the things which oncern the grower all over the country is to try to manage his business himself, anil get as large a proportion of his pro duce to the consumer direct as he pos sibly can. Unless there is enough alfalfa hay on hand, when feeding all cows will eat. to last until grass is ready in the spring, feed more sparingly of it, say 15 pounds a day. and supply the defi ciency with some other roughage, and add a mixture in equal pans by nieas- ure of corn and oats ground together and the finer the better. For early blossoming, plant aster seed in flats or the hotbed early in March and transplant the young aster plants two or three times in pots, separate hotbeds or cold frames be fore open planting in the garden. Re peated transplanting induces strong root system, which insures sturdy and rapid growth at the advent of warm growing weather. Asters as cut flow ers must not be picked until the blos soms are fully out. The buds do not develop after the stems are cut. Plan for batching season. Keep the hens busy these cold days. Charcoal is good stuff for the hen's digestive tract. It's mighty poor policy to let the stock shrink in winter. Don't feed your fowls so that they will eat too much at once. Just because fat hens are not good layers, do not starve your fowls. The best cows are the cows that will fill the pocketbook most quickly. More cattle die from the effects of being drenched than from tubercu losis. Potato peelings fed raw in not too large quantities are good for the lay ing hens. Warmth should be supplied to all farm animals but not at the expense of fresh air. When figuring up the profits from the cows for last year don't overlook the fertilizer. Men love their families, but arc in clined to neglect the crops that can be produced for the stable. Exercise is good for the animals and they should get their share every day when it is possible. A good dairy sire is one that pro duces daughters which give more butter-fat than their mothers. Eggs should be gathered often, es pecially if the weather is cold and they are to be used for hatching. Much of the success in poultry keeping depends on the vigor and vitality of the birds themselves. A male bird that is gallant, always ready to share with the hens, is pre ferred to one that is too generous. The by-products of the Salary can be made almost as profitable as the straight products if rightly handled. A cheap separator is worse than none. Get one that does not waste each year more than the original cost. Yearlings and heifers should be early taught to drink warm millfeed slop in winter, and cold slop in sum mer. Get all the wood ashes you can and apply them to the garden and truck patch soon as you can, and then plow it In. The number of hens a farmer should keep depends on his interest In the business and the time he is willing to devote to It. Unless a bird is matured and jos sesses size, vigor and a sound consti tution, it should be barred out of the breeding pen. For idle horses, straw and well cured corn fodder may take the place of hay. giving a half ration of corn morning and night. A man who has a good quality of dairy products and a high-class of dairy stock for sale seldom knows what competition Is. If you are to get eggs, you must have healthy, vigorous hens, and if you wish to keep up the supply you must retain the vigor. As every poultryman knows, or should know, protein Is an important and invaluable ingredient in the ra tion for egg production. In planning adornment for the door yard avoid straight lines as much as possible. Set the tree? and shrubs in groups or Irregular lines. It Is very important that tho wa ter drunk by the cows giving three or more gallons of milk dally be warmed to about CO degrees F. In winter dairy farmers often for get that nothing Is cheaper and more beneficial than pure air. sunlight and a reasonable amount of exercise. The calf that goes Into winter quar ters lousv will not do well. Rubbing the calf with a cloth moistened with coal oil and lard will put a quietus on the lice. It Is essential In raising beef to know the characteristics of a prime beast, for in order to command the top price the animal must be in the pink of condition. The feeding or care of young In tlian Runners is the same as for any other breed, but compared to chick ens the housing and management re quired are much easier matters. If you will figure what poor roads post you every year you will soon reali7t the necessity of improvement and you will he surprised to see how easily the Improvement can be made It Is the custom of some farmers tc raise a litter of pigs from a sow In the spring that she is a year old. then fat ten her for the fall market and keep sows from her litter for breeding the next spring. An English writer commenting upon the various devices in use whereby a succession of rhubarb may be ob- tained. states that the most economl- ral and most effective system that has come under his notice is to plant tne roots in special beds raised slightly above the ground surface, and having wide alleys between. While corn, alfalfa, clover and wheat products are generally conced ed to be the staple hog feeds and will never entirely be displaced, they will in the future be used more in a com bination with other feeds which will give to the hog a more natural allot ment of bone, blood, muscle and tissue-building material and heat, fat and energy. L.VED L0NGJVITH0UT EATING Men and Animals Have Made Some Remarkable Fasts a Mat ter of Record. The record for fasting, so far as humanity is concerned. Is held by a. 1" J uaiue. u rrencn muruerer, wno ue- , . . .. ,.' . . termined to starve himself to death. end from tho day of his arrest refused to cat. In spite of every effort on the part of his warders, who first tried tempting him to cat by placing the most dainty meals in his cell, and when that failed, attempted feeding him by force, he held out for 63 days, at the end of which time he died. Up to then the longest authenticated fast on recard was that accomplished by Giovanni Sued, who fasted at tho Itoyal Aquarium. London, for 45 days. But these records sink into insignifi cance when compared with the fat pig of Dover, enshrined in Dr. V. B. Carpenter's "Manual of Physiology." This pig weighed 160 pounds and was entombaM for 160 days by the fall of a portion of the chalk cliffs. When dug out It weighed only 40 pounds, hut to the surprise of its owner was alive. x.i .. .. j THIRST. "Of all the tortures I should think tho most terrible would be to be aw fully thirsty where no water could be secured." "Why water?" WOULD LIE AWAKE ALL NIGHT WITH ITCHING ECZEMA "Ever since I can remember I was a terrible sufferer of eczema and other irritating skin diseases. I would lie awake all night, and my suffering was intolerable. A scaly humor set tled on my back, and being but a child, I naturally scratched It. It was a bufning, itching sensation, and utterly intolerable, in fact. It was so that I could not possibly forget about it. It did not tako long before it spread to my shoulders and arms, and I was almost covered with a mass of raw flesh on account of my scratching it I was in such a condition that my hands were tied. "A number of physicians were call ed, but it seemed beyond their med ical power and knowledge to cure me. Having tried numerous treat ments without deriving any benefit from them, I had given myself up to the mercy of my dreadful malady, but I thought I would tako the Cuticura treatment as a last resort. Word3 cannot express my gratitudo to tho one who created 'The Cuticura Mira cles,' as I have named them, for now I feel as if I never suffered from even n pimple. My disease was routed by Cuticura Soap and Ointment, and I shall never cease praising the wonder- mi luciiia lint luniuiu. a win uuvcr be without them, in fact, I can almost dare any skin diseases to attack me so long as I have Cuticura Remedies ' in the house. I hope that this letter will give other sufferers an idea of how I suffered, and also hope that they will not pass the 'Cuticura Life Saving Station" (Signed) C. Louis; Pa., Aug. 29, 1910. The Tragedy That Wasn't. He raised the shining knife; his face was dark. The woman before him shrank back a step. The knife fell, plunged into the flesh, again, and once again. Then the woman spoke thickly: "There's plenty; they're such big chopB." Judge. Among Colleagues. "I am afraid that man speaks before he thinks." "Impossible!" v "Why?" "He never thinks." EASTER POST CARDS FREE. Fend 2c stamp for five samples of our verv lest Gold Kinlwsscd, Easter, Flower ancf Motto I'ot Cards; beautiful colors and loveliest designs. Art Pout Card Club, 731 Jackson St., Topcka. Kan. A man likes to repeat the smart things his children say, because he imagines it is hereditary. ONtT oxk "nnojio qvtstst That Is LAXATIVE HUOMO OU1NINK. Look or tb s!cnatnro of K. V. ;ilVi. 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