3a2sarrsaacse:!EsasaBitata3stt33Bi HIS GIRL FRIENDS. -I 'T' ' I ---i-r - W - - t. -.t--' -faw r- -r 7 - - -" -' C H. F. GREINER GROCERIES AND STAPLE DRY GOODS f ' ' ' ' ' Corner Eleventh and Olive Streets , -.. -5 1.- f Mark Twain Dearly Loved Chil dren as Playmates. - ; ! P THE ANGEL FISH SOCIETY. .; ij ft "11 0 ! 1 1 M i; 't J! I! i ' V k J, ? I An Assortment For the' r Lenten Season Holland Herring Salt Herring Roal and Spiced Herring Salt Herring Mackrel Canned Fish. Imported and Domestic CHEESE American Brick Swiss Limburger. Roquefort, Sap Sogs and Vezet Our prices are right and in addi tion we give you a special dis count on all cash purchases. Brunken & Haney OUTWITTED THE ORIENTALS. An Experience With .mc Customs Official at Kcrrr.ii shah. lu eastern lands the collecting ol customs duea i attended with per haps more than ordinary fraud. Ir his book. "From l'.aluin to Caglulnd.' Mr. W. l. liar: i lias told hi expo.-, ence with tin chmouis oHicers of Ker inanshah. The iin-idcur had iLs ' ical feature as well as. its serioii-s les son: Two hour.s later than I had intended tve made a startnud.i'roceediiigthrougli the long tunnel-like bazaars, emerged from the town. Here fate had annoy ance in store for me. At the, local cus tom house the guards wanted to search us and make us pay duty on our scanty baggage. I had hired a mule to carry our sad dlebags as far as Baghdad, using the owner of the mule, a wily old Aran who accompanied us. as a guide. These two, mule and man. the guards abso lutely refused to let pass without my bestowing a perfectly illegal and illog ical baksheesh. This I stoutly refused to do. aud. knowing that in tte east a show of temper is of no avail, I swal lowed my wrath and argued coolly and collectedly with the soldier. Soon they confessed that they had no right to touch either me or any animal of mine, hut they maintained that the mule and the rider were both Arabs and that therefore L could not interfere. This was just what I wanted, and solved the matter in a minute. I put the Arab on my horse and 1 lode his mule. There was no question about it then. The miards on their own eon fession could stop neither me nor my horse, ami we rode jjcietly on amid the laughter of the ucn to change our mounts again lifty yards past the custom house'. In the Wrong Church. A Cleveland man ieeMit'y to!d thir. -tory of the Kev. Stephen H T , . f.j. nious New York dixiee ..f ;j gei-er.itSoii ago: A wealthy man came : :u and said he wanted rent :io of the uut expensive pew.s in ; clt'irc'i. I'.r.tj" he added. "I'll :ih i-ie ii en une -.on-ditiou you mustn't expect me to do any church work " The eminent re-. Mr smiled. "My friend." he replied. "; on have comi; to he wrong h-.m't. Von l-.-i n- four blocks down the si .vet. in the church of the Heavenly Ilest." Cleveland Leader. A Reny"-: Gallery. "You know Mrs. Vim Cilder's fain fly portrait gallery that she started Vist year:" "Yes." "Well, that ureal riminai dete-tive flee who -inr,-ed the weddins ptv-s pnts when Treble Van C.ilder married the oldest Ie t.r.tft boy i -!i! me that he recognized seven of ihe portraits end they bad all done time, whatever that means." -Cleveland Plain Dealer. Special Value Sale of ENAMELWARE At the New 5c and lOc Store, Saturday, March 4, lO a. m. To those of you who attended our Open ing Sale, th values you got spoke for themselves. e absolutely guarantee that you will get iar more than your money's worth at this sale. 25c for choice of articles. Examine our window display. There will be covered Roasting Pans, Double Boilers, Dish Pans, Water Pails, Preserving Kettles, Stew Pans, Coffee Pots, Tea Pots and Stew Kettles. Be on Hand Promptly and Get First Choice New 5c and 10c store Located In Old ritzpatriok Store !3th Street KIND CAPTAIN KIDD. His Wickedness and Buried Treasure Both Said to Be Myths. 1 loomed to an infamy undeserved, his name reddened with crimes he never committed and made wildly ro mantic by tales of treasure ihich he did not bury. Captain William Kidd is fairly entitled to the sympathy of p.is terily and the r'pologie.-: of all the bal lad makers :.::i alleged historians who have obscured the facts in a cloud of fable. Kate has played the strangest tricks with the memory of this seventeenth century seafarer, who never cut a throat nor made a victim walk the plank, who was no more than an ama tour pirate in an era when this inter est im; profession was in its heyday and who was hanged at Execution do'-l: for lh" exicssively unromantic crime of cracking the skull of his gunne; with a wooden bucket because, for sjK'lh. hi majesty's ollicers were tin able to pr.sve their charges of piracy. A- for the rich-s of Captain Kidd. the ri . nil document :: his case, pre se" hi! among the Mate papers of the p .blii rocoid oliice in London, relate .!?' much detail whai booty he had and "tint he did with it. Alas, they ree:tl the futurity of the searches aft er the -.toe- -e-i chest buried above high a:ei m-u'.: The only authen tic Kid.I treasure was dug up and in vcutor'ed i v.-" than :!. years ago. nor has Un.- slightest clew" to any other been found since then.- "Komances of Ruried Treasure"' in Metropolitan Mag azine. The Snail and the Screw. It is no doubt true that nearly all hu man inventions have been suggested by natural objects. M. Charles Fre mont of the French School of Mines points out an interesting example in the case of the screw, the fun damental idea of which, he believes, was snuggled to primitive man by the spiiai -hell of the edible snail. It was not th shape of the shell that suggest ed the screw, but the spiral motion which it is necessary to give to the body of the snail in order to with draw it from the she!'.. This at once showed that an object of a screw shape embedded in a solid powerfully resisted attempts to withdraw it by a straight pull. The hint was enough, and the n-u-v became one of the ear liest of man's inventions. Youth's Companion He Wanted th Job. To the colored man who made ap plication for work he listened and awaited the finish of the tale of the applicant's qualifications for the job. then stalled in this manner: "Well. I'd like to give you the place, but I'm afraid 1 can't for you tell me ,ou are married. I have special reasons for wanting to give this position to a sin gle man " "Why. boss." exclaimed the willing worker, "if dat's de on'y tr.ui Me. Ah kin git a divohce beiween now mi" J. hen you all's ready fob me to Mart in " Art;, .taut A Delightful and Touching Story About Littlo Margaret, One of Its Member, and the Genial Humorist A Pretty Compact and a Quaint Latter. Like many another great man, Mark Twain was fond of children. He never outgrew childhood, and he always chose young playmates where they were to be found. He formed curious societies of these girl friends. Back in the nineties, when he was living in Europe, he created a club which .was to consist of one (only one) girl In each country of the globe, the duty of said member being to write occasionally to the chief officer, who faithfully replied to these random and far faring mes sages. Of course these little girls were swept into womanhood presently, but even to the last years of his life the member who signed herself "France'' remained faithful to the law. Another club of girls, little girls, be came one of the chief interests during his final years. It had its beginning in Bermuda during one of his frequent visits to those happy islands. It was called the Angel Fish club, after a gorgeous swimmer of those waters, and he gave to each member an angel tisii pin as a society badge. It was a, suc cessful club, and on his return to America he elected other members, enough to make twelve in all. Ilis home at Redding, Conn., Storm field, had been originally named In nocence at Home, and as Angel Fish headquarters Innocence at Home it always remained. Members with their parents visited him there, and the bil liard room, where the "fishes" were likely to spend most of their time knocking the balls about, under the chief member's instruction, was called the Aquarium, and gay prints of many Bermuda fishes were hung along tlie walls to carry out the idea. Each member had the privilege of selecting one of these as her patron fish and of identifying it with her name. It was in Bermuda one day when he was walking along the beach with one of his angel fish members that he pick ed up a small iridescent double shell, delicately hinged together. He sepa rated it and handed his companion half. "Yon will be going away from me pretty soon. Margaret." lie said, "and growing up. and I won't know you any more. I shall see a great many Margarets, and now and then one of them will say she is my Margaret, but I will say. 'So: you resemble my Mar garet, but you are bigger than my Margaret, and I can't be sure.' Then I will take out this shell and I will say, 'If you are really my Margaret you will have the other half of this shell, and it will fit exactly.' Then if she lias the shell and it fits I shall know that it is really my Margaret, no mat ter how many years have gone by or how much older she has grown." All this lie said very gravely and earnestly, and the little girl took the shell thoughtfully and promised to keep it always. Next morning when she came running up to meet him on the hotel veranda he looked at her quest ioningly. "You look like Margaret." he said, "but I can't be sure. If you are really my Margaret you will have a shell I gave her once the male to this one" lie got no further. The talisman was promptly produced, and it fitted ex actly. He returnedto America, and somewhat later Marcaret received a letter one of the pretty letters he was always writing to children. In it he said: I am always making mistakes. When I was in Xew York six weeks aso I was on a corner of Fifth avenue and saw a small sirl not a bic one start across from the opposite corner, and I exclaim ed to myself joyfully. "That Is certainly my Marsaret." so I rushed to meet her. But as she came nearer I began to doubt and said to myself. "It's n. Margaret, that is plain enough, but I'm half afraid it is somebody else's." So when I passed her I held my shell so she couldn't help but sec it. Dear, she only glanced at It and passed on. wondered if sho could have overlooked it. It seemed best to find out. so I turned and followed and caught up with her and said deferentially. "Dear miss. I already know your first name by tfte look of you. but would you mind telling me your other oncT She was vexed and said, pretty sharply: "It's Douglas, it you're so anxious to know. I know your name by your looks, and I'd advise you to shut yourself up with pen and ink and writo some morn rubbish. I am surprised that they allow you to run at large. You are likely to get run over by a baby carriage any time. Run along now and don't let the cows blto you." What an idea! There aren't any cows in Fifth avenue. Dut I didn't smile., I f idu't let on to perceive how uncultured slse was. She was from the country, of course, and didn't know what a comical blunder she was making. Margaret, with her 'mother, called when they returned to America. When the cards were brought to him he look ed at hers and said: "Well, the young lady, her name seems familiar, but I can't be sure it's my Margaret without a certain token which she is supposed to carry as a proof." The shell came up without delay. He took the two halves now tr. a jeweler and had them set in gold as charms. One of these Margaret wore on a ribbon about her neck, and the 'other he linked to his watcli chain, where it remained till he died. What a sweet fancy it all was! He spent the last months of his life in Bermuda in the home of one of his angel fish. Helen Allen, daughter of the American vice consul there. She was ids daily companion, and it will be her lifelong"' happy memory that sho brightened and comforted his final days. Albert Bigelow Paine in Ladies World. Real Accommodating. OlgaSwedish maid of all work, had curiously defined Ideas regarding prop erty rights, although she had no ir. tcntion of being at all dishonest. On one occasion when it was Olga's after noon out her mistress said to her when she was about to depart from the house: "Olga, I can't find those handsome silk stockings of mine. HaveTyou seen them?' "Yes, ma'am, I have them on. 1 know yon stay home today and do not need them. You can have a pair of mine to wear yoost around home if you haf none." Minneapolis Journal. We give you We have our Spring Corset Covers from Ladies' Gowns from Muslin Drawers from A large assortment of of all kinds. Come in 10c assortment. We also carry a good hams and Percales. Laces of all kinds. Lace Curtains, lull size, 42 3 yards, from Window Shades, from THE HENPECKED CLUB. Queer Methods of a Queer Society In Lancashire, England. Of all the queer clubs that exist ic the world you will find some of the queerest in Lancashire, England. One of these is called the Henpecked club. As the title indicates, its members arc all males, and yon can come across a club in almost every Lancashire tuwn of any size. The moctincs are held, as a rule, in some liar parlor, and the discussions are about members and often non members who have the reputation ol being henpecked. When evidence has been brought to show that a particular man has allowed himself to come un der his wife's thumb they tax him with it in the place of meeting. The presi dent delivers a lecture on Ihe danger of a husband permitting his wife to usurp his position as master, aud when the others have indorsed his remarks the person to whom the speeches are .. .. ....... aauresseu is warned mat ir lie con tinues to stand the henpecking he will be made the subject of a demonstra tion. The nnnouneement that a "ten peck 1" ..Int. .lnmonctmtl.... I.. n (nl- ..lnm . . . , , ' ' . .'. .' ," , is received in the district with iniscil feelings The men applaud it. and the IW..1I iruilll.-. It! .111111 fMIUILIl 1I1.IJ.A that led to trouble, become a little anxious. On the evening .....t..:...,.1 "11 At... 1 . X,.. ,... . me iiieiniHT.s in me im meet ni a public bouse, where they arm them selves with all kinds of household utensils; then, led by concertina play- I ers or a tin whistle laud, they start out and inarch along the crowded streets of the district. One man carries a broom, another a swab, a third a shovel or a coal sen tile or a fender or a iniker. Fire tongs, blacklead brushes, wash tubs, buckets everything used in the home, in fact is carried shoulder high. As they march along to the music in front and the discordant clanging of their baggage they sins snatches of songs In which the name of the victim oc curs often. The mission of the verses, which have been specially composed for the occasion by a htcal poet, is to hold up the henpecked one to ridicule, the rca foii for Ihe demonstrators bearing the household goods being, of course, to remind him that. Inn ins fallen under petticoat government, he will quickly liecome the slavey. When they reach the cottage where their victim resides they form a circle in front of the door and sing and clang their fenders aud coal scuttles more loudly than ever. The man inside is invoked by the president during a h:ilt in the pro pram to "be a man" and join his brethren. Sometimes if he looks upon the affair as more of a joke than any thing else he does their bidding, and I hey reform and march to headquar ters with him at their head. Vsually. however, his wife appears Instead with a bucket of soapy water, which she promptly throws over the demon strators, or she quickly causes a clear nnce with a hose pipe. To the onlooker It is jut an exhibi tion for laughter and nothing more, but iM-hiiiil ihe scenes there is general ly a lot of trouble and heartaching. A good number of these "henpecked' demont nit ions have sequels in police courts. Sometimes It is an enraged victim being charged with assaulting a demonstrator, but more often than not the sequel shows a wife appealing to the magistrate for a separation or der. London Tit-Bits. A Changed Man. Admiral Capps. addressing a teniper nnce society, told a story of one of Ihe best men he had ever known, who quickly went from bad to worse be- :ause of excessive drinking until be became a total wreck. "One evening," said the admiral, "this prematurely old. thin, worn out wan with red rimmed cjres. said, 'Yot: ire a good. true, noble woman Jenny, Ind sl'ould have married a better man than I ;:ni.' "Looking at him and thinking of what he once had been she quickly inswered, 'l did. James.'' New York Tribuna J Value Received for your money in Quality Stock of Dry Goods on hand and ready for your inspection. A fine .line of Ladies' Muslin and Knit Underwear " .25c to 75c $1.0O to $2.00 .50c to $1.00 Embroideries and see our line of Ging- inches by . . $1.25 to $2.50 25c to $1.00 WHISTLER IN A RAGE. Lady Meux Made Him Fairly Splutter With Anger. ) Whistler painted three portraits of Lady Meux, one of which, the "Sable Picture of Lady Meux," is missiug. That one was the third for which Lady .Meux sat to thu eccentric artist The other two are described in the PeuncH's life of the artist as among his most distinguished iortraits. I.ady Mcux "was handsome, of a moro luxu riant type than the women who usual ly sat to Iiim." and he 'found for her harmonics appropriate to hot heauty. The flrst was an 'Arrangement In White and Itlack.' which few people have seen. There is a suiuptuousness in the black of the shadowy back ground and the velvet gown, in the white of the fur of the loug cloak, that Whistler never surpassed. Whis tler was pleased with it and spoke of 1 it as his 'beautiful Black Lady Lady u . , 11C" "" I onco snt for n soroinl norlrnif. This time the 'harmony' was in 'Flesh Col- er and rink,' afterward changed to Tink and Gray.' " The missing portrait was smaller. w "" " ""- -"" """l'- ' could find out, it was never finished, j m explanation is probably to bo folin(1 Ilb (i n the "Life" from Mr. Harper Pennington: ! ..... ... .. - . . ....- .-, u ......... oi.....r t I l. mil. l.t.m I citt Tiftlviii- 'atutlir.- . rt "., i t-..ftlt .i"i of .1 aftfiv.. e9 I - ' !. ,.-. .It. .1 Ollllll. V. i i reply was at a Lady Meux (for the portrait in sables). For some reason Jimmy became nerv ous exasperated and impertinent. Touched by something lie had said, her ln1ieli!i'k litriifu! .1 4rn1 l?rt nit1 iwkui iiiiiivii iii luituiu tun ii. remarked quite softly. 'Sec here, Jimmy Whistler, you keep a civil tongue in that head of yours or I will have in some one to finish those portraits you have made of me!' with the faintest emphasis on 'linish.' Jimmy fairly danced with rage, ne came up to Lady Meux. his long brush tightly grasped and actually quivering in his hand, held tight against bis side. He stammered, spluttered and finally gasped out: 'How dare you? now dare you' Hut that, after all. was not an answer, was it? Lady Meux did not sit again. Jimmy never spoke of the incident afterward, and I was sorry to have witnessed it." BLITZ WAS MODEST. Yet Webster Wouldn't Give the Ma- gician a Treasury Job. During the presidency of Mr. Tyler I had occasion to call on Daniel Web ster, then secretary of state. Glancing at my card, he turned and readily extended his hand with, "Wel come, signor! No hocus pocus among my papers," covering them with his arms. After explaining to him my object I received the required information We laughed and chatted a few minutes, and I was about to retire when I men tioned that I was an applicant for office and hoped I could rely upon his influence in the matter. "You, a magician, an otlice seeker. signor?" "There is only one, sir, I aspire to; all others I should refuse without re gard to their emoluments." "Well, what one is that?" questioned the great statesman in his deep and powerful voice. "Counting the treasury notes, Mr. Webster." "The treasury notes, signor?" "Yes, sir. You might give me 100, 300 to count and watch me closely, but you would find onlj 73,000 when I re turned them." "Signor." be exclaimed, with lively animation, "there Is no chance for you; there are better magicians here than you. For there would not bo after their counting!" 30,000 left From "Life and Blitz." Adi-cntures of Signor A Well Uone Jod. "Is she well married?" "I shonM ay so She's beeu trying for years to get a divorce and can't." -Exchange Persistent people begin their stxcccm .vhere others end In fallare. Edward Sggleston. Our Goods are the Best of Quality and Tou Will Save Money by Buying From tfl 4 packages Corn Flakes 25c 1 pound Chocolate 39c Now is the time to buy your SUGAR; PER SAQK $5.00 Flour has never been as cheap as this for years; per sack $1.25 5 pounds of good Rio Coffee $1.00 A No. 1 extra fine Santos Coffee, a good value at 30c per lb., 4 lbs. for $1.00 Island Herring, the best of its kind, about 3-4 lb. each, 1 dozen for 50c Extra fine Smoked Herring, 6 for 25c Bob White Soap, the best white soap made, 6 bars for 25c 7 boxes of Rex Lye 50c Lenox Soap is where you get full value for your money, 7 bars for 25c A Full Line of Dried Fruit Always on Hand LIGHTNING VERSUS STEAM. Testing the Telegraph In the Early Days of Its Invention. Years nco. when the electric tele graph was a new idea and a mystery to the masses, there came trouble one : Saturday night In the Bank of Eng land, l tie uusincss or ine uay naa f closed and the balance was not right. J There was a deficit of just 100. It was ' not the money, but the error, that j must be found. For the ollicers and ! the clerks there could be no sleep until I the mystery had been cleared up. All that night and all Sunday a force of men were busy; money was surely gone from the vaults, but no one could discover whence. On the following morning a clerk suggested that the mistake might have occurred in packing for the West In dies some boxes of specie I hat had been sent to Southampton for ship ment. His chief acted on the sugges tion. Here was an opportunity to test the powers of the telegraph -lightning against steam, and steam with forty eight hours the slart. Very soon the telegraph asked a man in Southamp ton, "Has the ship Mercator sailed?" The answer came back. "Just weigh ing anchor." "Stop" her in the queen's name." flashed back the telegraph. "She Is stopped." was returned. "Have on deck certain boxes (marka givem. wcirm them carefully and let me know Che result." telccraphed the chief. This order was obeyed, aifd one box was found to be somewhere about one pound and ten ounces heavier than its mates Just the weight of the missing sovereigns. "All right. Let the ship go!" was the next order. The West India house was debited with the 100 and the Bank of Eng land was at peace again. Harper's Weekly. Hallucinations of Henbane. Henbane bears a remarkable reputa tion for creating the most extraordi nary hallucinations. Dr. Houlton re lates that sonic monks who ate the roots by mistake for parsnip-; trans formed their monastery into a lunatic asylum. One monk rang the bell for matins at midnight, and of those of the community who attended some could not read, others "fancied the ' letters were running about like ants." and some read what was not in their books. Even the exhalations from these pretty but very ioisoiiotis flow ers produce these weird effects. West minster Caxette. Joyous -Springtime THE MARCH DESIGNER will will help you fulfill your plans for spring. There are pages and pages of Advance SpringFashions. fresh, charming, irresistible. Things that you can make. "The Economies of Dressmaking" tells how to Make a Lining, how to Fit and Finish a Waist, how the Skirt is Handled. Points helpful to home dressmakers. Entertainment for children on many a rainy day; strong articles, and interesting stories for grown-ups. Buy THE MARCH DESIGNER today. Better let us have your subscription and save money. 10c a Copy, 75c a Year J. H. 505 Eleventh Street BOILED BANKNOTES. Caustic Soda Usnd to Destroy Warn Out French Currency. Everybody knows that wornout banknotes in this country are destroy ed by maceration at the treasury de partment, but the maimer in which the notes of the Bank of France are de stroyed is probably not so weU known. At the head otlice of the Bank of France there is a permanent tribunal before which all doubtful paper is brought. The tribunal writes "anale" on the faces of the banknotes. The judgment is countersigned by the treasurer, and they arc taken to the cellars in which the printing office is situated. In the presence of tho bank's official they are brought out for an nihilation. Distributed one by one into baskets, the condemned notes are emp tied into a great cylinder half Died with water and caustic soda. The orifice of the cylinder is then locked and set in motion. It turns for two days, at the end of which time the officials who presided at the be ginning of the operation return to wit ness the end of the dotes. Furnished with a long spoon, a work man thrusts into the depths of the cylinder and withdraws a thick, steam ing liquid, which he pours into a thin basin. Another workman approaches with a similar spoon, with which be stirs the stuff around to make sure not a remnant has been left of the notes. When the banknote soup has been reduced to paste it is sold for $1 a hundred kilos, about 200 pounds, al though the paper at one time cost $5 for two iouiids. Washington Herald. amoKing Before Meals. People will persist in smoking, even after they have read the following; from that eminent authority, the Lon don Lancet: Smoking just before meals Is to be deprecated, because the pungency of the pyroligneus products contained In tobacco smoke renders the buccal mu cosa insensitive to alimentary stimula tion. In fact, the effect is to dull or '.holish the olfacto-gustatory reflex, thus depriving us of what Tawlow' rails "appetite juice." Self Confidence. "Do you believe In all the views you Idvocate?" "es." replied Senator Sorghum, after sum" hesitation. "I tlo. but I doubt whether a less skillful rcasoner than .myself would he able to convince me of the correctness of some of iiu.m " Washington St-ir. THE TESIGMEK m MAKCH 1911 r- -it.,i GALLEY COLUMBUS, NEB. t3 ? 4 V v. x "v-;&-, sc