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WEDNESDAY. FEBRUARY 22, 1911.
STBOTHEB d; COMPANY. Proprietor.
KfcflKWAU The date opposite row hu oa
f r paper, or wrapper shows to what tlaas roar
subscription is paid. Thaa JanOB shows that
payaiaat Las bass received ap to Jan. 1,1906,
rbeStoFeb.l.lMBaadsooa. Whsa payment
Is mads, the data, which aaswsra as a rsceipt,
will be cheated acoordi&cly.
DidCONTINUANCES-Bespoaeible smbscrlb-
ers will eoatiaae to receive this Joaraal aatil the
pabllshereare aotiied by letter to diacoatiaaa,
when all arrearages aaoat be paid. If yon do not
wish the Joaraal coatiaaed for aaotber ysar af-
terthe time paid for has expired, joe shoald
pravioasly notify as to diseoatiaae it.
CHANGE IN ADD1U88-Whea orderiac a
jhaace ia the address. sabseribers shoald be ears
to cite their old as wall as their new address.
A TECHNICALITY THAT BUILT
A COURT HOUSE.
The following article taken from
the Kansas City Star indicates that
there are some Missourians who don't
have to be "shown," but, on the con
trary have established a reputation for
"showing" other people how to obtain
a thing that is badly needed when
prejudice warps the mind of the voters
to such an extent that they refuse to
provide a proper and safe place for
storing the county records and trans
acting county business.
Possibly the supervisors of Platte
county can obtain a few pointers by a
careful perusal of the article below:
Five out of six of the voters of Mil
ler county, Missouri, made no effort to
conceal their mirth on the night of the
bond electioii in December, 1909. It
was a great joke on Tuscumbia, the
county seat. The proposition to issue
Ixuids for $30,000 for a new court
house had been defeated. Fine! Mil
ler county could now lit down to pleas
ant dreams.
Of course, few voters denied that a
uew court house was needed. The old
building, erected in 1857, was shaking
with age. The county records were,
housed in wooden closets. But one of
those ancient controversies, a county
seat fight, had been a factor in the
bond election, with Iberia to the south
and Eldon to the northeast, aspirants
for the county capital. Assembling
their united forces, they caused the
proposal to expend 830,000 for a new
court house in the rival town of Tus
cumbia to apjiear decidedly "scatter
inr" in the returns.
If the boosters for Iberia and Eldon
had reckoned with one little detail,
they might have been laughing yet.
The consideration overlooked was the
fact that two of the county judges
chosen to sit in judgment in the affairs
of Miller county were residents of
Tuscumbia. They were David C.
Bear, presiding judge, and J.L. Black
burn, judge from the northern district.
This was really a matter of the great
est importance, as it subsequently
developed.
Alter the election the county judges
settled down to the hundrum routine
of transacting the county's business.
The procedure wasn't quite as hum
drum as the county judges could wish,
however. For example, when a county
judge is placing his O. K. on a county
bill, or affixing his signature to a
county voucher, it is rather disconcert
ing to have the county ceiling begin
to fall down on him. Also little inci
dents of this sort are a stimulus to the
imagination.
Along in the early spring of 1910
the county judges began to accumulate
"nerves" which, obviously, is not con
ducive to a calm, judicial survey of
county affairs. One day when a par
ticularly large section of ceiling had
splashed down on the long table at
which the county judges sat, and after
they had subjected themselves to the
customary "dry cleaning" process, one
of the judges conceived an idea. Why
not "repair" the old oourt house?
That is, why not "repair" it by build
ing a uew court house? Of course,
under a technical interpretation of
their powers the judges understood
that they could not appropriate money
to build a new court house. Bonds
must be voted by the people under
such circumstances. But the county
judged had seen the powerful techni
cality invoked on behalf of reaction so
mauy times, they concluded that for
once, at least, it should be invoked on
behalf of progress.
And so on April 9, 1910, the judges
voted ti "repair" the old court house.
J. J. Atwell, the third judge, did not
live in Tuscumbia, but desiring very
much to live somewhere, he voted
with the Tuscumbia judges and the
order was unanimous. To keep within
the law the judges then issued in effect
an order "to repair the old court
house by building a new court entirely
around the old building." The first
contract, let for the stone work and the
building of five concrete fireproof
imnii
Cwtt
vaults, called, for an expenditure of
913,800. This wa moaey that had
been accumulating in the county
treasury for years through a very
economical expenditure of funds.
Since the original contract was let a
new board of county judges has gone
on with the work of construction, and
is now completing the dome of the
building, making the complete cost to
date $14,675.50, which has exhausted
all the available funds of the county,
and involved it in debt nearly $1,000.
The county judges who conceived
the brilliant idea which will give Mil
ler county a handsome new stone court
house were not candidates for re-election,
and they have been replaced by
a new board. But their work is
marching on. The new board is com
posed of W. M. Harrison, presiding
judge, Eldon; S. 6. Crum, judge of
the northern district, Olean, and J.L.
Winfrey, judge of the southern dis
trict, Iberia. But the rivals of Tus
cumbia, Iberia and Eldon, realize that
it would be useless to ask their repre
sentatives on the board to waste
$15,000 of the people's money by raz
ing the new court house, the shell of
which is now practically finished.
Such a proceeding, they understand,
would not advance their ambitions to
be county seats.
The new court house is a handsome
affair. In dimensions it is 50 by 112,
completely enveloping the old court
house, which is 42 by 56. There were
eight rooms in the old building. When
the new building is completed it will
have twenty rooms, including a com
modious circuit court auditorium, five
fireproof vaults and a concrete base
ment. It is built of native stone.
"We are to have such modern court
conveniences as lawyers' consultation
rooms and witness rest rooms," Judge
Crum said. "We have not yet pro
vided a means of obtaining running
water to supply the building. We
have other things to worry us now.
Ami up there " the judge pointed
to a large space empty to the roof
since the outside stone walls were ex
tended in front of the old court houee
without the addition of any flooring
"up there is to be a ladies' waiting
room and that joist is to support a
long plush seat."
One can see how the new judges ate
entering into the spirit of improve
ment. The five fireproof vaults already
have been completed and are housing
the county records. In the new wings
of the building but few windows have
yet been provided, the other openings
being covered with boards.
It will take four years to accumu
late the funds necessary to complete
the court house, say the judges, and it
has made necessary a most rigid system
of saving in every department, except
ing the maintenance of schools. Of
course, if the county wants to reconcile
itself to Tuscumbia's possession of the
official seat, the thing to do would be
to start sentimeut for another election
and provide the $15,000 or so that is
necessary to finish the structure.
Otherwise the county will have to
content itself with unkept roads, shaky
bridges and other delinquencies in
county work. The money saved by
this neglect of highways is going into
the new court house.
Tuscumbia has been the seat of
Miller county ever since the state leg
islature in 1837 chopped off the edges
of Cole and Pulaski counties and
established Miller. That was twentv
years before the Missouri Pacific rail
road was built through the state, and
Tuscumbia, by reason of its location
on the banks of the Osage river, year
ly navigated, and almost precisely in
the center of the county, was made the
county seat. Tuscumbia still is four
teen miles from the railroad station
at Eldon.
Miller county is in the foothills of
the Ozarks. To appreciate the true
altitude ef Tuscumbia, one should
know that chickens from back yards
hallway down the hill roost at night
in the topmost branches of lofty syca
more and oak trees planted oa lower
levels.
At the top of the town's highest hill
stands the court house. Resting oh its
lofty pedestal, seven hundred feet
above the river, it is perhaps the most
striking monument in this country to
the power of a technicality.
Four Kinds af Liars.
The late Sir Frederick Bramwell was
famous both as a witness and arbi
trator In engineering disputes. It Is re
called that bis brother, the late Lord
Justice Bramwell. ou girlag advice to
a young barrister told him to be care
ful of four kinds of witnesses first,
of the liar: second, of the liar who
could only be adequately described by
the aid of a powerful adjective; third,
of the expert witness, and. finally, of
"my brother Fred."
Extra Hazardous.
Beers-Poor Mrs. DeAIterres has al
ways beeu unlucky in the selection of
her husbands.
Townsend Why do you say that?
Beers Her flrat husband was a
guide In the Adirondack, her second
was a baseball umpire, her third was
a manufacturer of dynamite aad her
last was an avlator.-Calcago News.
THE REAL ISSUE OF RECIPRO
CITY. If the congress and people of the
United States are at this time capable
of thinking nationally and with far
sighted statesmanship the president's
reciprocity measure will be passed
without delay.
If it is defeated it will be because
we are pusilanimous and purblind.
Senator Beveridge yesterday placed
the larger aspects of this issue emphati
cally before the country in a notewor
thy speech in the senate. The issue
he declared was this.
Shall the United States and Canada
begin the policy of mutual trade con
cessions and commercial friendliness?
Or shall we make permanent the poli
cy of trade obstruction and commer
cial hostility between the countries?
And more important still is the con
sideration he urged in declaring that
"The beginning of freer trade relations
between these two people who are im
mediate neighbors and who are of one
blood, language, and religion, is the
large phase of this question."
It has been said that the tariff is a
moral issue. It may be said that the
Canadian reciprocity compact involves
an issue of civilization on the North
American continent.
There is involved not only the larg
est material good of two great peoples
but likewise the largest social and mor
al good. We know, or we ought to
know, in this twentieth century that
civilization and social advancement
move on the great current of commer
ce. There was a time when there was
much talk of the political unity of the
North American continent. The con
ception was as nothing to that of the
commercial community offered by the
principle of reciprocity.
In Eoglaml they see this, and the
tremendous eventual possibilities of
the reciprocity compact are in the
foreground of the British discussion.
Our congress and our people should be
equal ly clear visioned. Yet up to this
time there seems to be not adequate
national comprehension of what the re
ciprocity issue profoundly involves.
Against the large national view, the
continental view of the two peoples es
sentially one in race, in law, and
broad political ami social ideas, in
economic conditions and commercial
needs, against this view of the largest
unity, we have the guerrilla warfaie
of selfish privilege and local interest.
The most influential opposition to he
feared on this side of the line, and the
most respectable, because it is popular
and direct awl not corporate, is the
opposition among the farmers. But if
this is legitimate, it is also erroneous.
That the farmer is to le injured is not
to be concluded from the known facts.
The value of protection to the farmer
always has been challenged by our ec
onomic students, but the further fear
that reciprocity will overwhelm him
under a torrent of Canadian surplus
product in his own market is obviously
impossible.
For example, the United States
raised last yeor 160,000,000 bushels of
barley. Canada exported in all 1,107,
000 bushels. Even if every bushel of
that were to be turned across the line,
would the effect lie worth the rumpus
thatis now being made over this detail?
Canada's total export of cereals is
about one fiftieth of our cereal crop.
Is there promise of ruin in that?
Of butter, Canada's exports were
$1,010,274, and the butter production
of the United States is estimated at 25
cents a pound at $350,000,000. Her
egg exports were $40,000, and our pro
duction, estimated at 25 cents the doz
en, was $500,000,000.
Canada's export of bacon and ham
was last year one-fifth of ours, and her
export of cattle on the hoof only about
18,000 head more.
The farmers are deceived by a bug
aboo which they should examine with
care. They will make a grave mistake
if they lend themselves to the obstruc
tion of a great national measure of gen
eral and far-reaching beneficence.
It may be shown by experience that
certain details of the agreement are
bad. But, as Senator Beveridge point
ed out, the agreement is subject to
amendment and may be readjusted in
detail as the common welfare of this
country and Canada indicates.
To establish a great continental
policy of commercial cooperation and
exchange founded upon the communi
ty ol our largest and deepest interest
is the purpose of the reciprocity com
pact President Taft has not shown a
greater proof of statesmanship than in
his imperative insistence upon the pas
sage of this measure. Chicago Tri
bune. JEFFERSON HIS FINAL CHOICE.
Oh, it was a "Teat nisrht for demn.
mm j ---.,
cracy and a great night for possible
presidents! One congressman gravely
wandered about the big armory, hunt
ing for Governor Harmon. When he
found him he put his hand on his
shoulder and said:
"Governor,! want to see you presi
dent of the United States. Call on me
for help at any time. I am for you to
the limit"
Harmon, quite pleased, thanked the
generous fellow.
Then the congressman, with owllike
seriousness, hunted up Champ Clark.
"Champ," he said, "it is the dearest
wish of my heart to see you president
of the United States. I am working
for you to the limit. I was just talking
to Harmon about you. He says you
are wonderful."
"I'm just a plain democrat and
citizen of the soil," said Champ, with
that splendid modesty for which he is
noted. "But you know how I appreci
ate your sincere encouragement"
The congressman then wound his
way through the throng until he found
Senator Bailey. "I know," he said,
"that you are not a candidate for presi
dent, senator, but I want to tell you
that should you run you can count on
my vote."
Having given encouragement to all
the potential presidents who were pre
sent the congressman joined a group
of Woodrow Wilson enthusiasts and
talked about "the dear old doctor, he's
got 'em all beat a mile."
"If you ask me," said one of the
waiters to whom the congressman ad
dressed some of his encouraging re
marks. "I think you fellows ought to
nominate this same Jefferson you're
all talking about I haven't studied
human nature for nothing, and from
the way they talk I think he's a com
er." Philadelphia Inquirer.
THE CENTENARY OF GREELEY.
The observances in memory of Hor
ace Greeley, which will be held at
Chappaqua, Weschester county, New
York, where he resided for many
years, February 3, the centenary of
his birth, will attract national atten
tion. As the founder of the New
York Tribune in 1841, which he edit
ed till 1872, near the close of his life,
he was the best known and most influ
ential journalist in the country in an
especially critical period of the coun
try's history. First as a Whig and
theu as a republican, Greeley was a
large figure in the stirring days im
mediately preceding the civil war and
for a few years after the close of that
conflict. He was a reformer and path
blazer in many fields, but his most ef
fective work was done in the fight to
check the extension of slavery and to
preserve the territories for freedom.
Greeley's faith in the future of the
vast region ou the sunset side of the
Mississippi was justified even in a lar
ger degree than he expected. For
many years and until its enactment in
1862, he was a pronounced champion
of the homestead law, which was a
large factor in peopling the west.
Greeley' advice, "Go west young
man, go west," which he began to give
long before the railways touched the
Mississippi was a powerful stimulus to
the opening of the great wilderness
empire stretching from Missouri and
Iowa off to the Pacific.
One of the interesting observances
of February 3 is that which will take
place at Greeley, Col. That locality
has justified the editor's confidence in
it He was one of the sanest and most
stalwart Americans of an era which
was particularly prolific in men of
large caliber. Leslie's Weekly.
WIPE OUT SUCH A RECORD.
At least three out of every 1,000
persons employed in the coal mines of
North Amertca in the year 1008 were
killed. This mortality rate is in excess
of that in any other part of the world.
Americans are, we think, the most
humane people in the world; yet these
figures do not fortify that belief. On
the contrary, they tend to shake it.
If we are more humane than other
peoples why do wc notation! more pro
tection to the employes in our mines.
The work of protecting employes is
fairly well done by Massachusetts as
well perhajta as the federal government
could do it, if not better but some
other state, particularly the mining
states, are very backward in this mat
ter.
If the .slates do not safeguard the
lives of their people, the United States
must, National pride, alone, if theie
were no such things as human sympa
thy and pity, ought to incite us to wipe
out the unevetable record of being of
all countries the most reckless of hu
man life. Boston Globe.
A Generous Spirit.
"Henry. I want 2 this morning."
"What for?"
"Must i account to you for every
penny I s?nd?"
"I don't iusht upon knowing about
every penny. When it's less than a
nickel you can bunch it." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Wanted It Abbreviated.
Jeweler What shall I engrave in It?
Customer-G. O. to II. L.
Jeweler What's that, sir?
Customer (meekly) George Osborne
to Harriet Lewis; bur. just the Initials,
please. LIpplncott's.
His Solo Dread.
Hammond Don't you dread the si
lent watches of the night? Martin
No; it's the cuckoo clocks that give me
away. Harper's Basar.
Good Intentions
bad actions.
will never justify
The year that Cleveland and Hen
dricks were elected, Hendricks went
down to Louisana to hunt and hah and
rtat up after tht work of the cam
paign. Justice White was with him a
good deal. While he was greatly
pleased with the results of the election,
the thing that gave him the most grati
fication was that the people of Indiana
had been so patrotic and enthusiastic
that they had turned out in great num
ben to vote. "Why," he said, "98
per cent of the registered vote went to
the polls. Hardly anybody stayed at
home. Think of that! Ninety-eight
per cent of the registered vote!" "Ob,
that's nothing," Justice White re
joined. "Right now we are passing
through a precinct in which, according
to the returns, 498 per cent of the re
gistered vote was polled." San Fran
cisco Argonaut
Tha Race With tha Ram.
In Morocco the strarge season of the
Mohammedan pew year, beginning
March 0, is generally called "Ait-el-Han
wela," the rain feast. The people
of Morocco pay more elaborate atten
tion to the item of sacrifice than any
other Moslems. In every town a su
preme offering of a ram or he goat
takes place at the door of the princi
pal mosque. Immediately after It is
struck by the official Imam in pres
ence of the multitude it is flung on the
shoulders of a stalwart Moor, who, ex
erting; his utmost strength, runs like a
deer through the narrow streets, pur
sued by a rabble. The poor animal is
pelted with stones by boys and Is
Jeered at with execrations from every
house, as It is reputed to be carrying
the sins of the people. The man
rushes along with his burden till be
reaches the door of the cadi's palace.
If the animal is still breathing the
augury Is excellent, for good luck is
to be expected all through the year.
But if the ram is dead all sorts of evil
prognostications are muttered.
The One Dish Diet.
A food specialist said of dieting:
"The simplest, easiest and most effi
cacious diet to bring down the weight
is the one dish diet. At no meal, that
is, should more than one dish be
eaten.
"The dish may be what you will
Irish stew, niacaroui and cheese, roast
beef, vegetable soup, bacon and eggs
but no courses are to precede or fol
low it. You may eat as much as you
choose of the dish, and yet for all that
you will lose weight steadily.
"It's the variety of dishes the oys
ters, soup, fish, turkey, mince pie, ice
cream it's the variety of dishes, cre
ating an artificial appetite when the
body has really had all It requires,
that causes corpulence. If we confine
ourselves to one dish we know when
we've had enough we don't know oth
erwiseand the result is that we soon
drop down to the slimness natural t
children, animals and temperate and
healthy men and women."
He Started tha Trouble.
Mrs. Johnson had begun to learn
French and was gleefully informing
her husband of the rapid progress she
was making in her studies.
"I'm afraid," remarked Johnson,
"that you'll soon grow tired. I've
known people tackle a foreign tongue,
expecting to know all about It in a few
weeks, but before they hare mastered
even the rudiments their enthusiasm
has evaporated and they hare given tip
the task as hopeless."
"Ob, that's not the case with me,"
declared Mrs. Johnson confidently. "I
am getting on splendidly, and Pro
fessor Dubois says I shall soon begin
to think in French."
"Well," the husband murmured, "I
won't Interpose any further objection,
and I shall be glad when you are able
to think in French. It will be some
thing you have been unable to do In
any other language!"
Twain's Most Quoted Witticism.
Of all the witty things said or writ
ten by Mark Twain no phrase has
been quoted oftener than his reply to an
alarmist report. "Rumor of my death
greatly exaggerated." I think the his
tory of this bonmot, says a corre
spondent, may interest. Mark Twain
was on a visit to London some years
ago and bad been secured as the chief
guest of a dinner to be given by a lit
erary club. On the morning of the day
when the dinner was to take place the
secretary was shocked to bear a ru
mor that Mark Twain had died sud
denly. At his wits end, be sought to
verify it by a diplomatic note to Mrs.
Clemens, in which he mentioned the
rumor. Mark Twain got hold of the
note and telegraphed the now famous
reply, "Rumor of my death greatly ex
aggerated." The Flour-do-lit.
The fleur-de-lis, the well known em
blem of France, is said to have been
brought from heaven by an angel to
King Clovis, be having made a vow
that if he proved victorious in an im
pending battle with the Alemanni near
Cologne he would embrace Christian
ity. It was the national emblem until
the revolution of 1789, when the tri
color (white, red and blue) was adopt
ed. The royalists in 1871 tried to re
store the old emblem to the flag, but
without success. New York American.
Spoiled His Sport,
many ducks did you
"How
Pat?"
shoot;
"The divll a wan."
"aren't there any there?"
"Sure th lake wor full av thlm, but
iv'ry toime I'd point me gun at wan,
d'ye moind, another wan wd get be
twixt me an' him an' spoil me a'm!"
Toledo Blade.
The Comforter.
Visitor I just looked in to cheer you
up a bit, ami I'm very glad I did, for
I met the doctor going out, and be
says you're worse than you think and
unless you keep up your spirits you
can't recover. London Opinion.
Comparatively Easy.
"It Is hard to lose the savings of a
lifetime."
"Ob. not so hard. I know of a dozen
men with schemes that you could go
Into." Louisville Courier-Journal.
SPECIAL RATE BULLETIN
FOR FEBRUARY
TO THE SOUTH: February 7th aad 21st, low round trip hoanaeskera fares
are ia effect to tha South; attractive winter totrriat fares ia effect every day
to the whole South, with return limit of Juae 1st.
TO THE WEST AND NORTHWEST: Homseaafcera excursion fares are
in effect February 7th aad 21at to large section of newly developing terri
tory throughout the West, including the Big Horn-Basis.
NEW TOUR OF YELLOWSTONE PARK: A system of new and scenic
eight-day personally conducted camping toara of Yellowstone Park will be
established Una coning eammer from Cody, Wjo, via the magnificent Gov
ernment Shoshone Dam along the Government Road over Sylvan Pane
through the Park and return, by the Yellowstone Park damping Sc Trans
portation Co,, Aron Holm, proprietor. Price from Cody, including all
accommodations, only $50.00. Parties leave Cody every day dnring the
summer. This Transportation Company has handled large parties of camp
era ia sueh a satisfactory manner that their growing patronage now requires
daily tours from Cody. It will pay you to write that company at Cody,
Wyoming, early, and later in the season ask for new Park Cody Route Leaflet.
ISfflH
She Wanted lath.
The matluee performance was about
half over when a distracted lookiug
woman with a curly haired youngster
of six soughtout the man in the box
office.
"There are boxes on your chairs iu
there," she began, "and they say drop
a nickel in and get a box of candy."
"Yes, I see," asserted the man in the
box office.
"Well," she continued Indignantly, "I
dropped a nickel In for my little girl."
"And couldn't you get the candy?"
queried the box office man. "Wait; I'll
see if we can get it out."
"Oh, yes," answered the woman; "I
got the candy all right, but I couldn't
get the nickel out"
And to the ticket man at least this
remark furnished a more dramatic mo
ment than any in the play. Louisville
Times.
Dsan Swift and the Cook.
"Moderation in all things" Is the
best precept for everyday life. There
Is a good story about Dean Swift
apropos of the value of never overdo
ing anything.
The dean's cook one day overroasted
the leg of mutton for dinner, and iu
consequence she was summoned to
the dining room. "Cook," said the
dean in a pleasant voice, "this leg of
mutton is overdone; take it back and
do it less."
"Impossible, your reverence!" ex
claimed the cook.
"Well," replied her master, -supposing
it had been underdone, you could
easily have done It more."
"Certainly, your reverence."
"Then." said the dean. "let this be
a lesson to you. If you commit a
fault always take care that it is a
fault which will admit of a remedy."
Countor Diplomacy.
"I think you will like this goods,
madam," urged a salesman in a Euclid
avenue shop. "It is just the thing for
a stout, middle aged lady.
"Sir!" squealed the customer iu a
rage. The clerk saw his faux pas and
recovered himself quickly.
"Pardon me." he smiled. "I mistook
you for the young lady who was In
here yesterday looking for something
for her grandmother. Now that I look
at you again, I see that this was an
older ierson. Now. if you are buying
for yourself, we have something over
here that"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Litarary Nota.
The teacher had beeu talking to her
pupils on Ouida's story, "The Dog of
Flanders." and she followed her talk
by an oral test.
"Now, what is the name of tiie au
thor?" she queried.
Small and Slaugy Boy Ob, You Ida.
Boston Record.
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I Magazine Binding
I Old Books I
I Rebound I
I In fact, for anything in tbe book I
I binding line bring your work to I
I &e I
I Journal Office I
I Phone 184 I
iimii - - -- " - --
L. F. RECTOR. TlCktt flfCM
GwIufh&hu. Ntfcr.
L. V. WAKftLaW. OmI. Paasawasr flop. OatalM. iUe
A Competent Critic
A famous actor at an elaborate en
tertainment at a Fifth avenue" million
aire's (uilare iu Xew York rose to re
cite Mrs. Bruwulug's "Dead Pau." As
he announced his subject and prepared
to begin he beard a lady near him say
distinctly:
"What N the next piece? Some
thing funny. I hope. Oh. yes The
Dead Pan!' Dear me. bow odd! Of
course it must be funny something
about bad cooking. I suppose."
Tha Duration of a Dream.
One evening Victor Hugo was dic
tating letters to uis secretary. Over
come by fatigue, the great man drop
ped into a slumber. A few moments
afterward he awoke, haunted by a
dream which, as be thought, had ex
tended over several hours, and lie
blamed his secretary for sitting there
waiting for him Instead of wakening
him or else going away. AVbat was
his surprise when the bewildered sec
retary told him that be bad only just
finished writing the last sentence dic
tated to him.
Goodness.
Whatever mitigates the woes or In
creases the happiness of others is u
just criterion of goodness, and what
ever Injures society at large or any
individual iu it is a criterion of In
iquity. One should not quarrel with
a dog without a reason sufficient tu
vindicate one through all the courts
of morality. Goldsmith.
Good Proof.
"Guess I
must have been
born un-
lucky."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, for Instance. I went to a ball
game once. There were eighteen play
ers on the diamond, fifteen or twenty
on the benches, 10,000 people in the
grand stand, 20,000 on the bleachers,
andthe ball bit me!" Toledo Blade.
Swell Sot Credentials.
Mrs. De Butt (making out a list of
Invited guests for dinner) Can you
think of any others?
Mrs. Von Setter There is Mrs. Kum
bac. "I bad thought of her, but she did
not try to smuggle." Philadelphia
Ledger.
One Exception.
Nearsighted Old Man I say, did you
break the record?
Aeronaut No. but I broke every
thing else. Judge.
Placed.
Mrs. B. Is she a Mary of the vine
clad cottage? Mrs. M. No. a Martha
of the rubber plant flat. Harper's
Bazar.
Thoughts never lack words. It 1
words that lack thoughts. Juubert.
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