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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 22, 1911)
CU1U LUG VI
My Uncle Owen of Kentucky had
died and left me seven horses and a
heap of trouble. Murf Higgenbottom,
his old trainer, had brought the skates
to me. and I was getting ready to
race thtri without letting on to the
family. Gee, but I was having a hard
time of it!
During the following week I spent
most of my time at the training quar
ters, and it wasn't long before the
colts would nose around my pockets
for the lumps of sugar I brought
The ponies soon tumbled to the fact
that I was their meal ticket
The things Murf knew about horse
flesh were scandalous. He had the ra
cing business tied up in a knot in his
handkerchief. Murf was one of those
gamey little men that wouldn't take
a dare from any nag that ever chewed
"That there little light bay filly
witt the fo' white feet for mine!" he
obsT;rved sentenliously, after the seven
had been tried out thoroughly.
"Make mine the same. Murf," I an
swered; "she's all the goods, for
"Whoa, little girl, steady! Yo'
Uncle Owen would delight in that par
cel of hossfiesh, suh; have you' all
procu'd a name?" he asked.
"Call her Peaches," I answered
"Peaches!" Murf repeated.
"Sure as you live," I said; "we'll
name her for the best girl that ever
took a hurdle like me for a husband.
Here's to Peaches! may she always
have a place at the table when For
tuno passes the cream!"
"I drink to yo health, suh. and to
Peaches!" Murf said, drawing a flask
of his beloved Bourbon from his pock
et and tipping it slightly: 'Uhis here
youngster promises well, and no Kain
tucky boss evah yet broke a promise
to me. suh!"
I gave all the money I possessed to
"Aw, Get Use to Yourself," the Spuds Lad Muttered.
Murf and told him to go ahead and
see the thing through to a finish.
"You have full authority. Murf."
I said, "and all the money I can raise
without resorting to the use of dizzy
drops. If you win out. the glory will
"Yo' Uncle Owen considered yo
all big Casino on the eastern tracks,
suh; it is my duty to prove it, seeing
that It ain't possible now to convince
yo' Uncle Owen othahwise," he an
swered, slowly, and that settled it.
"I've been watching that black one
yonder, Murf!" I said, pointing to
little sad-eyes, the laziest looking
skate in the string.
"Yes!" Murf answered, questlon
ingly. "I christen that one Shoemaker,"
"Shoemaker!" Murf choed.
"Shoemaker," I continued, "because
he'll be near the last all his life."
I didn't get a smile from Murf, so
I got mad and went home.
The next morning while in the sit
ting, room reading the papers I heard
an argument started on the veranda,
and looking out I beheld a weazened
face kid. not much larger than Tacks,
holding a free-for-all with Uncle
"Does Mr. John Henry live here?"
the visitor asked.
"He does." Uncle Peter replied, j
somewhat shortly; wnat do you
want with him?"
"I want him to gi'me de gaze!" the
"To give you what?" Uncle Peter I
"De look-over, see! I'm for him
if he warms to me on the peep!"
Uncle Petoc was -too mystified to
To tell the honest. I was a bit to
the daze myself. I'm considered a
fairly wise guy era tho figure of speech
proposition, but that kid had me
"Haven't you made a mistake in the
house?" the old gjntleman finally In
quired. "Aw. choke up! phoke up!" the
stranger advised. "What do you
t'ink I am a wax works? My nut
ain't no empty shell, see! I've got a
bunch of reachlnery behind my map
for to steer me straight, and I ain't
making no bum starts' Put me wise J
to de real captain. wlll.e?
"Have you something to Bell?"
Uncle Peter asked, suddeolr struck
with the idea that the stranger might 1
be a p.eddler.
"Aw. say. Foxr Graif, ring de
tinkler on yourself!" he answered,
scornfully; I ain't out doing no
lecture for a living. Me t'roat Is too
busy to talk to you pass my name
up to de Main Squash, wiU'e?"
"What is your name?" Uncle reter
"Spuds!" came the answer.
"Bless my soul!" Uncle Peter cried,
in astonishment; "what a remarkable
name; did you say Spuds?"
"I said Spuds, didn't I?" was the
somewhat sharp rejoinder. "What do
you want to call me, Perclval?"
"I don't want to call you anything,
you impertinent young rascal!" Uncle
Peter said, hotly. "I'll call the dog
"Don't you call no bow-wow on me
or I'll bite him." the irrepressible
Spuds retorted. "Say! what is dis, a
chin-chin to a show down? Can't
youse bow yourself out and chase de
Boss Carpenter to me?"
Clara J., attracted by the loud tones,
strolled over from the garden to see
what was doing, and as for me, I was
enjoying the affair too much to break
it up by butting it.
"You wish to see somebody?" Clara
J. asked, sweetly.
"Yes, lady," the youth answered,
dragging a reluctant lid from his top
piece and shuffling nervously from one
foot to another. "I was trying to
cook up a chance to hand a line of
talk to de Main Stake, but old Santa
Claus gave me de Ice."
Clara J. looked at Undo Peter in
astonishment, and he scowled silently
at the intruder.
"Come now, young man, state your
business, or be off!" the old gentle
"Aw, get used to yourself," the
Spuds lad muttered. " I don't do no
sneak till I pull off a meeting with the
High Card, and dat goes, see!"
"Don't you know the name of the
party you wish to see?" Clara J. in
quired. "Sure I do," Spuds responded; "it's
Mr. John Henry."
"Oh!" she said; "he'll be here pres-
ently. I'm sure. Who sent you?"
"Mr. Murf." Spuds answered,
whereupon I jumped quickly to my
feet. The affair had assumed a se
"Mr. Murf," she repeated. Just as I
"That's the infernal bandit who was
here the other day." thundered Uncle
Peter. "I'm black and blue all over
from thinking about him. Drive this
person off the premises; very likely
he's crazy, too!"
"Easy," I whispered; "this is
Murfs valet, no doubt."
"Valet!" snorted the old gentleman;
"keeper, you mean. I must say. John,
that I don't admire your selection of
friends: when they aren't foolish,
they are Idiotic!" and with this he
flew ip the house.
"This is the gentleman you wished
to see." I heard Clara J. saying to the
caller as I turned.
"Mr. Murf sent me down to tell
youse, sir, dat de little goil is doin'
fine!" was the first upper-cut I got
"Poor Murf!" I said to Clara J.;
"isn't It wonderful how he can make
people believe that there Isn't any
furniture broken in his garret This
young man, no doubt, is under the
Impression that "
"Say!" Spuds broke in. "Mr. Murf
Is willing to let mo wear the colors if
you'll give him the ticket for ma to
Then like a flash It dawned upon
me. Spuds the jockey! Murf had
sent him up to me for a final look
over. Clara J. must not be permitted
to suspect what ho!
"Go back to Mr. Murf." I said
quickly to Spuds, "and tell him he's
Spuds let one yell out of him and
started to do a series of Joyous cart
wheels all over the lawn.
"What in the world does It all
mean?" Clara J. aske..
'the ticket," I explained; "didn't
you hear him say ticket? Poor old
Murf is tired of the east end wants to
go home. For dear Uncle Owen's
sake I must buy Murfs railroad
ticket; don't you think so?"
"Good, generous John!" she an
swered, kissing me, and I felt as man
ly as a chair with one leg off.
"Hasn't that annoying person gone
yet?" demanded Uncle Peter, ap
pearing in the doorway suddenly.
"Aw, choke up! choke up. Bill
Bailey, and de cozy corner for yours!"
the young scoundrel got back; then
to me, "Say. you're aces wit' me. Mr.
Henry, and I'll grab dat wire foist if
ever de little goil goes out, or spoil
me map, see!"
With a wild yell of delight Spuds
danced off In the direction of the
training quarters, and just then Tacks
rushed breathlessly around the corner.
"See that kid," Tacks gasped; MI
saw him yesterday down the road
about two miles on the finest little
horse you ever see, and the crazy
man that was here the other day was
with him, but I wasn't frightened!"
"Then your friend. Murf, really has
a horse," Clara J. said, slowly and
with signs of a gathering storm.
"He has," I answered: "but I did it
for old time's sake. It cost me only,
a few dollars to rent the horse from
"No Kaintueky Hots Evah Yet Broke
a Promise to Me, Suh!
a livery stable, and you can't Imagine
how it soothes and comforts poor old
"Forgive me, John!" Clara J. said,
almost tearfully, and again she kissed
I felt that I was beginning to show,
the first faint symptoms of being;
(Copyright by G. TV. Dillingham Co.)
MAKING A BAD MAN GOOD
Cutting of Eye Muscle the Only Thing
Necessary to Complete the Trans
formation. "I go over to Blackwell's Island to
visit the penitentiary at Intervals,"
said the oculist. "There I once found
a man with a cross eye that would
have been funny if it had not been so
pitiful. When he tried to look at an
object tho eye would jump from its
hiding place until he could focus it
sufficiently to make out what the ob
"I was sure that I could cure him,
but he swore that I shouldn't touch
him. I talked to him about the oper
ation, and tried to reason with him.
As a result of my argument he said
finally, with great violence: "I'll kill
you; I'll do it if you try to cut my
"But I was persuaded that the poor
fellow was sick; that at heart he was
a good man in spite of his sulliness,
in spite of his quarrelsome habit with
his companions, and for the moment
overlooking the fact that he had been
imprisoned for petty larceny.
"So, while several men held him,
and he struggled hard, I performed
the operation on his eye. But he told
me over and over again while this
was going on for I used no anesthet
ic, that being against our practice
when the patient is opposed to an op
eration that he would kill me when
he got a chance. In the course of a
week his eye had healed, and his de
sire to kill had left him. He gave mo
no word of gratitude, but I knew he
was not the same man. He asked to
be allowed to help me in the operating
room that was his way of saying
'thank you' and his request was
"I never had so capable an assist
ant. Everything that I wanted was
always there. His watchful eyes saw
to that. But he did not talk, he was
at my elbow, anticipating my wants,
"He soon got his discharge from the
penitentiary, and he asked me one day
if I would give him a letter of recom
mendation. I said yes, first, then rec
ollecting that he had been imprisoned
for stealing, I said: 'No, man, I can't
do that, but I'll tell you what I'll do
go and look for a job. and if they ask
for a reference tell them to come to
"Not long after this there was a
ring at my telephone, and I heard an
Irish voice at the other end saying:
"There's a fellow here gives you as
reference I employ teamsters what
about him is he all right?"
'"Come and see me, and I'll tell
you about him,' I said.
"Well, what's tho matter is there
anything wrong with 'im?'
" 'I'd like to talk to you about him.
I'll come and see you if you can't
come and see me,' I answered.
"But he decided he would come to
me. It was a little unusual, perhaps,
and possibly he was interested. The
upshot was that my cross-eyed man
was employed. Later he was made
"A bad man changed to a good man
by the cutting of an eye muscle. It
seems strange, doesn't it? but it's
true." Xew York Times.
"Bill" Snyder, the famous head
keeper of the Xew York Zoo, was de
scribing to a reporter the 20-gallon
oil baths that he gave the elephants
in the autumn, when the harsh beasts
begin to chap their hides.
"These oil baths Improve the ele
phants' looks," he said. "The ele
phants know it. too. The females es
pecially know it. They take to these
beauty treatments the same as
The head keeper chuckled sardon
ically. "Women, though, go a step too far,"
he said. "A young man from the Hon
house told me that at a ball the other
night he said to his hostess:
"Who is that pretty little blonde
eating lobster salad, ma'am?'
"'Why. don't you know her?' his
hostess cried. 'She's the pretty little
brunette you flirted with la-. week! "
The daylight and darkness are a song:
The clouds that fleck tho summer sklet
rhe stars that gleam above us all night
Are symbols of the song of love and
And deeper chords there are, and har
The which no mortal thought has evci
Because they arc eternal ecstasies
Too marvcl-swect to be blurred Intc
Beyond the pulsing cadence of the breeze.
Beyond the throbbing monotone of rain.
The lilt ot bird songs and the bum of
There surges up a vast, unfathomed
Which we might hear all faintly In the
When all tho world has left us quite
Or when In awe we stand upon some
Tct never Is that song completely
Aye. times wo sense It when we feel the
Of looking o'er the meadowlands Id
Or when the snow makes of the tree
An lvoried stillness then the shadowt
As do tho sun-kissed fields, and distant
And all things all the sky and sea and
(t Is the song of all the nights and day
That wo may hear, but may not under
stand. rhe daylight and the darkness are a
And all the unknown heights and depthi
vThero myriad systems whirl and wheel
Each fleck of star-dust In Its giver
these, with blades of grass, and or
And gale-tossed snows, and wlndlnt
And great sea billows, and the rose per
fume. All blend into the song of nights and
"Elijah," says the judge to the de
fendant, "you have had a fair trial
The prosecuting attorney has shown
by circumstantial evidence that can
not be gainsaid that you were in Mr
Brown's chicken coop on the night
that his hens disappeared, and your
Dwn attorney, in his speech, has prac
tically admitted that the theory of the
prosecution is true. Have you any
thing to say before the court pro
nounces its decision?"
"Jedge." says Elijah, rising politely,
"all I's got to say is dis. I don't know
much about de law, but I docs know
heahsay evumdencc isn't good, an' all
dese lawyehs says is heahsay. I
oughter know, foh I uz de only man in
dat chicken coop dat night, an I's de
nied it raight crlong."
"A new and novel idea for an after
noon affair?" asks Mrs. Justgottit of
Mrs. Peddygreigh. "O. I can suggest
a very clever plan. Let us have o
spring housecleanlng party. Let us
Invite all our set and have them don
aprons and take mops and broom?
and dusters, and clean the bouse!"
The suggestion Is hailed gladly by
the others of the 400. whereat the
originator of dinners to monkeys and
doll parties and similar joyous affairs
"And Mrs. Justgottit will be the
rcry one to take charge of such a
function, won't she?"
Vincentlzed Mother Goose.
There was an automatic man
Who lived an automatic life.
Tie pressed an automatic suit
And won an automatic wife.
And In his automatic way
Her buttons he was wont to bless;
"Why don't you go and get. I say.
An automatic buttoning dress?"
One Among a Million.
"With all due respect to the wives
af others," says the man with the
shiny nose and the dimpled chin, "1
must say that my wife is the greatest
woman In the world."
"That is a splendid way for a man
!o talk, and it does you honor," says
the man with the mi3sing buttons on
"Well, when I am mowing the lawn
my wife doesn't stand at the window
and call to me to tell me where I am
leaving uncut ridges."
Having taken the butter from the
churn, the thrifty housewife works It
Into shape, and, to the surprise of her
guest, begins adding coloring matter
to it i
"Why, surely you are not going tc
.adulterate such splendid butter as
that!" cries the guest
"I have to. I'vte got to make this
butter resemble the best brands of
oleomargarine or it will never sell at
USE FOR THE NEWSPAPER
Story That Contains a Moral It Might
Be Well to Keep In
A little King Charles dog;, a pet In
a family where he had been the play
male of a little boy, slipped through
an open door some time ago and dis
appeared. Servants and the children
of the house searched everywhere,
asked questions at all places where
it was thought possible the dog might
be in hiding, but to no avail, and the
animal was finally given up for lost
and there was deep mourning in the
nursery. One day recently the wom
an who owned the dog met a neigh
bor at a florist's shop, who had on a
leash a dog strangely like the lost
pet, and asked where he came from.
"Why, he ran Into our house a few
days ago and we don't know where he
belongs.' The dog knew his old mis
tress and was quickly surrendered.
'You might have had him sooner, had
you advertised," said one woman. "And
you could have found the owner soon
er had you advertised," said the other
and the newspaper man who heard
the story.added the moral.
CURED HER BABY OF ECZEMA
1 can't tell in words how happy the
word 'Cuticura sounds to me, for it
cured my baby of itching, torturing
eczema. It first came when she was
between three and four weeks old,
appearing on her head. I used every
thing Imaginable and had one doc
tor's bill after another, but nothing
cured It Then the eczema broke out
so badly behind her ear that I really
thought her ear would come off. For
months I doctored It but to no avail.
Then It began at her nose and her
eyes were nothing but sores. I had to
keep her In a dark room for two
weeks. The doctor did no good, so I
stopped him coming.
Tor about two weeks I had used
Cuticura Soap for her every day,
then I got a box of Cuticura Ointment
and began to use that In a week
there was a marked Improvement In
all I used two cakes of Cuticura Soap
and one box of Cuticura Ointment and
my baby was cured of the sores. This
was last November; now her hair Is
growing out nicely and she has not a
scar on her. I can not praise Cuti
cura enough, I can take my child any
where and people are amazed to see
her without a sore. From the time
she was four weeks old until she was
three years she was never without the
terrible eruption, but now, thanks to
Cuticura, I have a well child." (Sign
ed) Mrs. H. E. Householder, 2004 Wll
helm St. Baltimore, M&, May 10, 1110,
No Need to Be Good.
A little Shaker Heights girl surpris
ed her parents last week by refusing
to be scared Into being good. "It's
no use telling me San Claus won't
come, or that the angels will write it
down In their book if rm naughty,
mamma,' she said. "I might as well
tell you that they think up in heaven
that I'm dead."
"But why should they think that,
"Because, I haven't said my prayers
for two weeks." Cleveland Plain
His Labor-Saving Device.
"I have discovered a great labor
"I always said you were a genius.
What is it?"
"I'm going to marry Miss Bullion)
Give Defiance Starch a fair trial
try it for both hot and cold starching,
and if you don't think you do better
work, In less time and at smaller cost
return it and jour grocer will give
you back your money.
"What's the bearded lady so mad
about?" inquired the armless wan
der. "Somebody sent her a catalogue of
a safety razor factory." said the living
skeleton. Chicago Tribune.
BEAUTIFUL POST CARDS FREE.
Send 2c stair p for five samples of our
very best Uol 1 Embossed, Good Luck,
Flower and Motto Post Card a; beautiful
colors and loveHiv-t designs. Art Post Card
Club, 731 Jackson St- Topeka, Kan.
Mrs. Beans How rapidly Emerson
Mrs. Cod Yes; he will be In short
specs very soon. Harper's Bazar.
USE ALLEN'S FOOT-EASE
the antiseptic powder to be shaken into the
shoes. It maken your feet feel cany and com
fortable and makes walking a delight. Sold
everywhere, S5c. Ketuttiubttituttt. For free trial
package, address . lien S.Ouasteal.LeBy,N. Y.
Let us make the best of our friends
while we have them, for how long wo
shall keep them is uncertain. Seneca.
Don't worry about your complexion
take Garfield Tea, tho blood puriner.
Angelfood cakes seldom make boys
Smokers like Lewis' Single Binder cigar
for its rich mellow quality.
Few women can draw a straight
line none can argue In It.
Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription
b Ae best of all medidaes for
disorders aad weaknesses pecaliar
oaly preparation of its kind devised
ated physician aa experienced and
the diseases of woaaea.
It is a safe saediciae aaaarycoaditkraof 1
THE ONE REMEDY which
ssad ao iajarious awbat-forausal drags aad
creates ao craviag for sack stkanlsafii
THE ONE REMEDY so good
ewe smC afraid to prist its
oatstda bottle -wrapper
It is sold by ssediciae dealers eteiy where, aad ear dealer who hasn't it eaa
get k. Don't take a sbatitote of unkaowa comporitioa for this medicine pa
BKovm composition. No coaaterfeit is aa ood aa the geaaiae and the drad(wt
who says sonetfaing else is "jast as good as Dr. Pierce's" M either mistakes
or is trying to deceive yoa for ak ewa selita beae. Sack a bms m sot to be
treated. He is trillaf with your most priceless powwufsyour health
be year life itself. See aef j
$1350 to $2000. Cat
Mm 'nLiLj I - - mm an mv mmmmml.
n'oM of our aaeceaa. We coart dosHt SNMfesI
Ur eeWeevftfcieSWO SsW
N'moad." Uaol.gWM oawWma7ioattM Blood aadQlaaM:ralatt
olMMMCOTBMTr.mati.bocr. OtnilHilim If Do aaSEaaMaUfVilarato
rvmnrr. imiMiiaiiT.scrMT. van. uim ai
km. II. HHmrininviiiiiniiiniii.
SPOII MEIKAL CO.,
A Country School for Girls in New York City
Am Feararee or Cmmity eW CSrjr Lifm
Out-of-door Sports on School Park of 35 acres near the Hndsoa River. Fall
Academic Course from Primary Class to Graduation. Upper Class for Advanced
Special Students, Music and Art. Certificate admits to College. School Coach Meets
Day Pupils. MmBaaapaselMiae Whiles KvereaJeAv.a2Ma St, West
It is better to be a dark horse than
a black sheep.
The very best advice: tale Garfield Tea
whenever a laxative is needed.
Social fame lasts as Ions; aa the
possessor Is present.
Mrs. WIbsIow's Boothia Syrup for CaUeres
teething, aoftena the gaaM. redaeee Inaaauaa
tloa, alUja pain, carte wtad colic S3e ft bottle.
The brotherhood of man does mean
better wages, but it also means bet
MRNT fn tn ram ut ni
r fin to cut any csm of itchta. JUIa
B!elin or Frotradlac Wm la 10 M daj.
In the fulfillment of duty we have a
sense of blessedness, even in hours of
weariness and simple endurance.
The greatest cause of worry on
ironing day can be removed by using
Defiance Starch, which will not stick
to the iron. Sold everywhere, 1 os.
Not for Mortal Understanding.
What fond mother has not, at some
time, said: "My child, you are much
too young to ever understand; you will
find out when you get older all
you wish to know will be explained."
And how many of us are still waiting
for the reason, for some one to ex
plainare we still too young? Per
haps we are, and again, perhaps we
are not perhaps It never shall be ex
plained to us; there are things wrap
ped in voiceless mystery.
Runs on the Bank of England.
Even the Bank of England has not
been entirely free from runs nor from
the necessity of saving Itself by
strategy. In 1745. for instance, it was
forced to employ agents to present
notes, which were paid as slowly as
possible In sixpences, the cash being
immediately brought in by another
door and paid in again, while anxious
holders of notes vainly tried to se
cure attention. In 1825. too. only the
accidental discovery of 700,000 1
notes saved the bank from stopping
payment. London Chronicle.
How Hit Proved It.
An Irishman was once serving in a
regiment in India. Not liking the
climate, Pat tried to evolve a trick by
which he could get home. Accordingly
he went to the doctor and told him
his eyesight was bad. The doctor
looked at him for a while and then
"How can you prove to me that
your eyesight Is bad?"
Pat looked about the room and at
last said: "Well, doctor, do ye see
that nail on the wall?"
"Yes," replied the doctor.
"Well," then replied Pat, "I can't."
the cure of diseases,
to worses. It k the
by a regularly frada
skilled specialist ta
aad attest to
get araar yea as jr.
1 cetera aa
TsaSy arJrSM Q0M
TVe wonder of bak-
iog powders Calumet.
Wonderful in ks Taisinc
powers its uniformity,
its never failing results, ks
Wonderful in ks econoov.
It costs less than die higb-price
trust brands, out it -m worm as
souch. It costs a trifle more than
the cheap and bis: can kinds
it is worth more. But proves.
real economy in the baking.
At all Grocers.
the "Quality" Car
sjesVe fo da
to km yea ttady i
Ptak Eye. Bats)
- SkJMtatf Fever
& Catarrhal Fere
M. .ad at battlo: H udWti
ti2ZffS. OOSIEI. Ml.. I. S. JL
Some tombstone Inscriptions are too
good to be true.
Garfield Tea purifies the blood and eradl
catea rheumatism. It is made of Herbs.
Had His Uses.
"You dont make very good music
with that Instrument." said the inno
cent bystander to the man behind the
bass drum aa the band ceased ta
"No." admitted the drum-pounderi
"but I drown a heap of bad."
Plain aa Day.
A man recently visited the art
museum In Chicago and wandered
about looking at the paintings witk
more or less interest. He flnall)
stopped in front of a portrait whlci
showed a man sitting in a high-backed
chair. There was a small white card
on the picture, reading:
"A portrait of E. H. Smith, by him
The man read the card and the,
chuckled to himself.
"What fools these city folks are!
he said. "Anybody who looks at that
picture would know Smith's by himl
self. There ain't anyone else in th
picture." Chicago Tribune.
Mnayon'a Cold Remedy Believes the)
head, throat and lange almost Immediate
y. Checks Fevers, stops Discharges of.
the nose, takes away all aches and pains
eaaaed by colds. It cares Grip and ob
stinate Coaghs aad prevents Pneumonia
Write Prof. Manypo, B3rd and Jeffenosj
Bts Phils-. Pa, for medical advice as
LIVE STOCK AND
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