The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, January 25, 1911, Image 6

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Squirrels rang telephone
Max Examines Box Where Wires
Were Converged and Finds It
Nearly Full of Nuts.
A ladyin Englewood, N. J., was
called to the telephone one day by the
operator, who inquired, "What do you
want?"
"Nothing at all," she responded.
"Your bell rang," insisted the oper
ator. "None of us rang it," replied the
lady.
The next day a man appeared from
the telephone office.
"I hare come 'to see what makes
your telephone bell ring most of the
time," he remarked.
But none of the family could en
lighten him, and he saw nothing about
it which was out of order.
The next day he came again, took
the telephone entirely to pieces, ex
amined the full length of the wire.
Still, he could find nothing amiss, and
still at the central office the little
flame kept burning in the niche dedi
cated to this particular family. This
Indicated that their bell was ringiqg.
At last it occurred to the authori
ties to examine a little box, of about
the size' of an ordinary suit case,
which was nailed up against a large
tree close by the house.
In this box several telephone wires
converged. It was a sort of neigh
borhood switchboard.
What was the surprise of the tele
phone men to find this box nearly
filled with nuts. They took out three
peach baskets full, each one holding
at least two quarts.
Rioting among the nuts were the
youthful members of a promising
squirrel family Christian Herald.
BACHELORS 2 CENTS A POUND
fused to accept sbm. The
What Was the Matter With Messsr
Percy Miss Jaae. did Moses save
J
the priM was Miss Dera Kofckr'of St,
Louis. v ', .o.
the saxee after-diamer cosaplalat
M. Casey, Wealthy St. Loulsan, Wslfh-
ht 2SI Pounds, Is Bid la far
$5 as Prize,
St. Louis. St Louis bachelors are
worts-less than 2 cents a pound, ac
cording to the market established at
thje St. Vincent.de Paul's church,
when 267-pound Martin Casey, the
wealthy head of a broom manufactur
ing concern, was- bid in for $5 after
the young woman who had won him
as a prize In a church celebration re
1
"Do yon want to take aim
papa's got? y
Miss Jaae Gracious me, Percy!
Whatever do yom mean, my dear?
Percy Well, it says here the Lord
gave Moses two tablets. Llpplacotfs
Magazine.
with your said latasr Nugent, who
had charge of the affair.
"Really," replied Miss KeUsr. "he's
very nice, but I doat think I want
him."
"Very well, them, rn bars to sell
him to the highest bidder, and 111
start the auction with a bid of S5."
As no one made a higher bid, lath
er Nugent handed to Miss Kohler a
The Sculptor Philosopher.
The sculptor had Just laiahed the
Apollo Belvedere.
"I am satisfied" he cried. "Every
man who passes thinks it looks like
S bill in lieu of 267 pounds of Casey. J himself."
Some Suspicious
OMiHTMlflP
mj f$rTm''J
nlttL bbb9bbbbsbbbbbbbbbbhF
Persons
(JIJB. .sbbbbbbbbbbbbbbsbbbbbbb
4
1
A
i
I
y
Enquired if we were "hiring" a certain "weekly" paper to abuse us.
Of course every time a spot light is turned on from any source
ft offers a splendid chance to talk about the merits of the products,
but 'pon honor now, we are not hiring that "Weekly."
The general reader seldom cares much for the details of "scraps."
A few may have read lately some articles attacking us and may
be interested in the following :
Some time ago a disagreement arose with a "Weekly." They
endorsed our foods by letter, but wanted to change the form of
advertising, to which we objected.
The "Weekly" discontinued inserting our advertisements while
they were negotiating for some changes they wanted in the word
ing and shape of the advertisements, and during this correspondence
our manager gave instructions to our Advertising Department to
quit advertising altogether in that "Weekly."
Quite a time after the advertising had been left out, an editorial
attack came. We replied in newspapers and the scrap was on.
Then came libel suits from both sides, and some harsh words.
Generally tiresome to the public.
That "Weekly" has attacked many prominent men and repu
table manufacturers.
Our Company seems prominent enough for a sensational
writer to go after, hunt for some little spot to criticise, then distort,
twist and present it to the public under scare heads.
So an attorney from New York spent more or less time for
months in Battle Creek hoping to find impurities in our foods, or
dirt in the factories. After tireless spying about he summoned
twenty-five of our workmen and took their testimony. Every
single one testified that the foods are made of exactly the grain and
ingredients printed on the packages- the wheat, barley and corn
being the choicest obtainable all thoroughly cleaned the water of
the purest, and every part of the factories and machinery kept
scrupulously clean.
That all proved disappointing to the "Weekly. There are
very few factories, hospitals, private or hotel and restaurant kit
chens that could stand the close spying at unexpected times and by
an enemy paid to find dirt or impurities of some kind.
In any ordinary kitchen or factory he would find something to
magnify and make a noise about.
But he failed utterly with the Postum Works and products.
Twenty to thirty thousand people go through the factories annual
ly and we never enquire whether they are there to spy or not. It
makes no difference to us
He next turned to discover something about our advertising
that could be criticized.
An analysis of the methods and distorted statements of the
"Weekly" may interest some readers, so we take up the items one
by one and open them out for inspection. We will "chain up" the
harsh words and make no reference in this article to the birth,
growth and methods of the "Weekly" but try to coufine the dis
cussion to the questions now at issue.
Some Facts
Battle Creek, Michigan, December 30, 1910.
We the undersigned certify that never to our knowledge has a
testimonial letter been printed by the Postum Cereal Co., Ltd,,
which did not have behind it a genuine letter signed, and believed
to be an honest statement.
To the best of our knowledge and belief the Company has re
ceive upwards of fifty thousand (50,000) genuine testimonial letters.
r
This company has never knowingly made nor permitted an
untruthful statement regarding its products or its methods.
If. K. HOWE, Treasurer. (With Company about 14 years )
L. J. LAMSON, Inspector of AdvtS. (With Company about qX yean.)
F. C GRANDIN, Advertising Manager. (With Company about 13 yearsj
R. M. STERRETT, M. D., Physician in charge of Scientific Dep't.
(With Company about 4K ycax&J
CHESTON SYER, Advt. Writer. (With Company about 3 yean.)
CHARLES W. GREEN, Advt. 'Writer. (With Company about 5 years
HARRY E. BURT, General Sup't. (With Company about 13 years.)
H. C HAWK, Assistant to Chairman. (With Company about 7 yean.)
C W. POST, Chairman. (With Company 16 years, from the beginning.)
(The United States Court of Customs
Appeals Is to rule on the quostlon of
whether or not a hen Is a bird.)
What art thou, hen? When thou would
it.
Or set. all firmly on thy nest.
Thou art. when naught can make the
quit.
A pest.
And when thou cacMest when we'd talcs
A nap with no disturbing pother.
Thou art. we vow and stay awake
A bother.
In summer when the garden patch
Tempts thee to stroll with duckings
vasue, .
Thou art. whene'er we see thee scratch.
A plaeue.
The ministers, however, when
xney eat thy offspring served wrth
dressing;
Pronounce thee onco and yet again
A blessing.
In winter when we have to pay
Whate'er cold storage men may hint,
Thou art. because of thy fair lay.
A mint.
And when old age hath ended thee
The plot once more begins to thicken-
In market then thou art. we see.
Spring chicken!
Distortion No. 1 stated that we have
been accustomed to advertise Grape-Nuts
and Postum as "cure-alls for everything."
It has never been the policy of this
Company to advertise Grape-Nuts or Pos
tum to cure anything.
We say that in cases where coffee disa
grees and is causing sickness its dismissal
will remove the cause of the trouble, and
we suggest the use of Postum for the
reason that it furnishes a hot palatable
morning beverape, and contains natural
elements from the grain which can be
used by nature to assist in rebuilding
nerve centers that coffee may have broken
down.
Likewise Grape-Nnts food does not
cure anything, but it does assist nature
tremendously in rebuilding, provided the
vndigestible food that has been used is
discontinued and Grape-Nuts taken in its
place.
Charge No. 2 states that the passage
ef the National Food & Drugs Act com
pelled us to drop from the packages some
assertions regarding the nutritive value
of Grape-Nuts.
We "Fave" never been "compelled" to
make any change.
Since the beginning it has been a univer
sal role to print clearly on every package
exactly what the contents are made of.
Before the passage of the Pure Food
Law the packages stated that Grape-Nuts
food was made of wheat and barlcv.
We did not esteem the small amount
of salt and yeast as of value enough to
speak of, but after the new Law came
in we became as technical as the offi
cials at Washington and added the words
"yeast" and "salt." although we have
no recollection of being asked to.
We believed that our statement that
Grape-Nuts will supply elements to nour
ish the brain and nerve centers is true
and bring authorities to support the fact.
Some state chemists believed this a
gross exaggeration and inasmuch as the
Food Dept. at Washington could easily
harass grocers, pending a trial on the
disputed question, we concluded that
much the better wav would be to elim
inate from our packages such claims,
however certain we may be that the
hires are true.
Another statement objected to read as
follows:
"The system t-?H nhcorh
greater
mount of nourishment from vn nmmH
of Grape-Nuts than from ten pounds of
saeat, wheat, oats, or bread."
Some Department chemists deceive
themselves as well as the public.
"Caloried" is the word which defines a
nit of heat determined by the amount
scesrary to raise one kilogram of water
se degree centigrade. On this basis a
table of calories is prepared riiowinp the
percentage of different kind of food.
Butter shows 8.60; Grape-Nuts 3.96;
milk 0.70. Bemember the statement on
the package spoke of the nourishment the
system would absorb, but did not speak of
the calories of heat contained in it, for
the heat is not nourishment, and the
Bourishment cannot be judged by the
Dumber of heat units, notwithstanding
the fact that certain chemists would have
the public believe so.
As an illustration: Attempt to feed a
sun sixty days on butter alone, with its
F.OT eruones. Iht man wculd die be
fore the experiment had ran skly days.
Then, take Grape-Nuts with 31)3 and
milk with 0.70, the two combined equal
4.CG about one-half the number of calo
ries contained in butter. The man fed for
sixty days on this fond would be well
sourish--.., and could live net enly sixty
days, but six months on that food alone,
and we do not hesitate to say from our
long knowledge of the sustaining power
of the food that a man at the end of
sixty days would be of practically the
same weight as when he started, if he bs
a man of normal weight.
We will suppose that from his work
he lost a pound a day and made up a
pound each day from food. If that prem
ise proved to be true the man in sixty
days' time would make sixty pounds of
tissue to replace what had been lost, and
this would be done on Grape-Nuts and
milk with half the number of calories of
butter, upon which no one can sustain
life.
Therefore, we have reason to believe
that our contention is right that con
centrated food like Grape-Nuts, which
is partly digested and ready for easy as
similation by the body, presents more
nourishment that the svstem trill nh-
prh than many other forms of food, and
we will further say that in cases of diges
tive troubles where meat, white bread"
and oats cannot be digested, that Grape
Nuts and milk contain more nourish
ment that the svstem will absorb than
many pounds of these other foods. -
Distortion No. 3 charges iW. nm- m.
timonials -were practicalh- all paid for
and re-written in Battle Creek.
These testimonials were demanded by
the opposing lawyers. Naturallv this
demand was refused, for they are held in
vaults and kept safe to prove the truth,
and are not to be delivered up on demand
of enemies.
Testimony at the trial brought out the
fact that we never printed a single testi
monial that we did not have the genuine
letter back of. Jfany of these letters
came spontaneously A record was kept
of twelve hundred and four (1204) let
ters received in one month from people
who wrote that thev had either entirely
recovered their health cr been benefited
by following our suggestions on food
and beverages.
On three or four nmcinm in Ti mcf
ten or twelve years we printed broadcast
m p?pcrs offers of prizes to users of
Potum and Grape-Nuts, two hundred
$1.00 pri7cs. one hundred $2.00, twenty
of $3.00 and five of $10.00 each. t;rinr
tint irh must bo an honest letter with
name and address. ye agreed not to pub
lish names, but to furnish them to en
quirers by letter. These letter writers
very gcnerallv answered those who wrote
to them, and verified the truth of the
statements.
Under thi agreement not to publish
names literally scores of letters enmw
from dn-tors. We kept our word and
neither printed their names or surren
dered the letters.
Bight here notice an "imitation spasm."
The ."Weekly" says: "Post got those testi
monials by advertising for them. In New
York he used for that purpose the New
lork Magazine of whose editor
is now in the Federal Penitentiary for
fraudulent use of the mails. For exam
ple. Post announced in that magazine in
1907. etc.," (then follows our prize com
petition). We used nenrly all of the panert iwd
mngi7ines in Nrn- York an:l the rest of
America, but the sensational writer gives
the impression to his readers that the
onlv magazine we used was one "whose
editor is now in the Federal Penitentiary,"
etc., something that we know nothing
01 xne iruxu 01 now. ana never did.
Space wa bought in the magazine spoken
of on a business bais for the reason tint
it wont to a good class of readers. The
incident seems to have furnished an op
portunity for a designing writer to de
ceive his readers.
We look upon honest human testimony
from men and women as to the means by
which they recovered health as of tre
mendous value to those in search of it.
Our business has been conducted from the
very first day upon lines of strict integ
rity and we never yet have published a
false testimonial of human experience.
Many of these letters covered numerous
sheets: some, if printed, would spread
over half a page of newspaper. If we
would attempt to print one such letter in
every one of the thousands of papers and
magazines we use, the cost for printing
tint nne letter would run into many thou
sands of dollars.
We boil down these letters exactly as
a newspaper writer boils his news, stick
ing sacredly to the important facts and
eliminating details about the family and
other unimportant matters. This work
of boiling down, or editing, is done
honestly, and with a full knowledge of
our ' responsibility, but notice the art
of the "twister" in the way he presents
to his readers this matter of testimonials.
Distortion No. 4. This is a bad one.
It reads as follows: "The only famous
physician whose name was signed to a
testimonial was produced in Court bv
Colliers and turned out to be a poor old
brokendown homeopath, who is now work
ing in a printing establishment. He re
ceived ten dollars ($10.00) for writing his
testimonial.
Wc will wager ten thousand dollars
($10,000X0) with any investigator that we
have, subject to inspection of any fair
committee, upwards of three hundred
(300) communications, from physicians,
many of them expressing the highest com
mendation of our products, but these will
not now or ever be turned over to the
publisher for his use.
Notice the statement in this charge:
'The only famous physician whose name
was signed to Postum testimonial, etc."
The truth is, this Dr. Underwood was
one of a great many physicians who have
not onlv written commendatory words
about the value of our foods, but every
now and then some phvsician writes an
article on coffee or on food, and sends it
to us with a suggestion of compensation
tor his time and medical knowledge.
Previous to the time when we employed
physicians in our own business, we oc
casionally emplovcd a doctor to write
an article on coffee, always insisting that
the article be an honest expression of his
opinion and research.
The "Weeklv" hunted up this physician,
and because he seemed to be poor, and
as it says, "brokendown," had him
brought to Court to be exposed before a
jurv as the "onlv physician that had ever
endorsed Grape-Nuts." but much to the
chagrin of the "Weekly." when our attor
neys asked him if the article he wrote
about coffee was true he replied, "yes."
officials are honest, and on the other
hand we are firmly convinced that some
of their conclusions cannot be substan
tiated by facts in scientific research.
They never criticize the purity of our
foods, for so much we are thankful.
If our conclusions in regard to its be
ing a uraiu iuou timer irora ineirs, ana
we are both honest, they have rather the
advantage, because under the law they
can order us to eliminate from the pack
age any statement if it disagrees with
their opinion. Otherwise they would
harass grocers.
Spasm No. 6 says: "The most dan
gerous thing in the world for one threat
ened with appendicitis is to eat any food
whatever. Notwithstanding he knew that
danger. C. W. Post advertised Grape-Nuts
at fifteen cents a package for those so
threatened."
This is intended to muddle the reader
into believing that we put out Grape-Nnts
as a cure for appendicitis.
ir. z-osc, nimseii, nas naa probably as
wide experience as any other man in
America in the study and observation of
food as related to the digestive organs,
and we proved in Court by the physicians
and surgeons on the witness stand that
the predominating cause of appendicitis
is undigested food, and that it is neces
sary to quit eating food, and when the
body requires food again, use a pre-di-gested
food, or at least one easy of digestion.
Dr. Ohsner in his work on appendicitis
refers directly to the use of the well
known nre-dizested foods that can bit
obtained on the market. He also brought
out the interesting fact that in "after
treatment" it is advantageous to take
on a prc-digested food.
in due time. We suggest the reader look
for it.
Prevarication No. 8. Tost spends
nearly a million a year in advertising and
relies on that to keep out of the news
papers the dangerous nature of the fraud
he is perpetrating on the public."
The Postum Company does pay out p
wards of a million a year for trade an
nouncements. Newspaper men believe our
statements truthful or they would not
print them. Large numbers of newspa
per men use our products.
Thev are capable of teTHn? th public
whether or not we "bribe" them.
It may have escaped notice that we
did not "bribe" that particular weekly.
Statement No. 5 reads: "The health
officers of Mich., Maine,. Pcnn., New
Hsmp.. and other states in their official
bulletins have for vears been denouncing
as preposterous and fraudulent the claim
made by the Postum Cereil Company."
We do not recall nnv criticism except
from Mich., Pcnn., Maine and S. Dakota.
The average reader mfcht think that
the opinions exprcssed'by the State Offi
cials are alwavs correct, but that in
clusion is not borne out by facts.
As an illustration: About thirteen years
nco the Dairy and Food Commission of
Michigan for some personal reason printed
a severe criticism on us for making Pos
tum of Ttarlev (according to his official
chemist) at market price and selling too
high. He was shown there was ncvpr a
rrnm of barley used in Postum,
The price of the package (referred to
by the weekly) is not known by us to
have any relation to the question.
Our advice to ston using indigestible
food in bowel troubles and to use Grape
Nnts fcod has been a great blessing to
tens of thousands of people, and we hope
will continue to bless a good many more
in the succeeding years.
No. 7 is a live wire. It refers to C. W.
Post and his studies and experience in
"Suggestive Therapeutics." or "Mental
Healing" which further lead to a most
careful and systematic study of the ef
fect of the mind on the digestive and oth
er organs of the body.
He attended clinics in Eurone and
fitted himself for a future career in which
he has become known as one of the food
experts of the world, fitted to judge both
from the material as well as the mental
side of the question.
For about eight years previous to 1S91
he. was an invalid. In that year, after
being under the care cf several well
known physicians, he was quickly healed,
by what to him was a curious and not
well-understood method. Sufficient to say
he became a well man, weighing about 185
pounds.
This experience challenged hi3 investi
gation into causes of disease and their
amelioration. These studies and experi
ences developed a very nrofnnnd rever-
once for a Supreme Power which directly
port was false and misleading,
crnor dismissed him.
His re-
The gov-
We believe that most of the state
operates upon the human being, and this
reverence for tl Infinite became to him
a form of religion which included honesty
Lof purpose towards his fellow-man. A
statement which will be indorsed by every
one who knows him closely.
He will make a public announcement
i detail of these facts, and the Postr.m
Company v.-ill cau-e that statement to bs
published in newspapers and magazines
No. 9 states that the amount of the
verdict will "be devoted by the "weekly
to cmnstng fraud."
This is almost real humor.
We have two suits pending against the
"weekly," total, $500,000.00.
We haven't "devoted" the sum to any
particular purpose yet.
Item 10 is a "discovery" that wheat
bran is a part of Postum.
But the criticism neglected to mention
that for years every Postum package an
nounced in plain type that the outer cov
ering of wheat (bran), made part of the
beverage.
They ignorantly fell into a trap here,
not knowing enough of food value to know
that 'Taka-Diastase" the article used bv
physicians the world over for "starch in
digestion" is made from "wheat bran."
So we use that part of the wheat berry
because it contains the clement needed
to develop the valuable diastase m man
ufacture. Good Postum is impossible
without this part.
These self-appointed critics do make
some laughable blunders through ignor
ance, but be patient.
Item 11 is an illustration of the squirm
ing and twisting of the sensational writer
delivering distorted matter to his read
ers. While on the witness stand Mr. Post
testified to his studies in Anatomy, Physi
ology, Dietetics and Psychology, all re
lating to the preparation and digestion of
food. Asked to name authorities studied
he mentioned six or eight from memory,
and commented on some clinical expe
rience covering several years it annual
journeys to Europe.
Now nctice the distortion. (Copy from
the printed criticism.)
"He (Post) pointed out a pile of books
in possession 01 ins attorneys as ins very
ones he had read."
(Notice. "the very ones he had reac,"
leading the reader to believe that thty
were the only ones.)
"Did you consult the books from these
editions?" was asked.
"From those and various editions," an
swered Post.
The attorney "picked up book after
book from the pile and showed the title
pages to the jury, all except two had
been published since 1905."
This is an example of distortion and
false coloring to produce an unfavorable
impression.
The facta are Mr. Post purposely intro
duced the latest editions that could be
obtained of prominent authorities to prove
by them the truth of his statements re
garding appendicitis and the analysis of
orain, also the latest conclusions in re
gard to the action of the digestive organs.
These works are:
Physiological Chemistry, By Hsumai
ten.
Biochemie System of Medicine, by
Carey.
The "Weekly" carefully eliminates from
its printed account testimony regarding
the years of research and study by Mr.
Post in fitting himself for his work, and
wcrald lead -the reader of the distorted
article to believe that his education
began since 1905.
Distortion No. 12 reports Mr. Post ai
a dodging witness.
His eye is not of the shifty kind ob
served in the head of one of his chief
critics. On the witness stand Mr. Post
looks quietly but very steadily straight in
to the eyes of the haggling, twisting law
ycr, trying by all his art to ask double
barreled questions and bull-doze and con
fuse a witness.
The "dodging" it seems consisted of
replying. "I don't know."
Opposing counsel holds a book in his
hand while he queries,
1 want to :mow it mere is a singi
thing in your whole book hero that sug
gests any particular kind of food." Then
followed some discussion between attor
neys.
When Mr. Post was allowed to reply,
he said. "I don't know until I read the
book over to see."
This book, it turns out, was written by
Mr. Post seventeen years ago and prob
ably has not been read carefully by him
in the last fifteen yeara. It would require
a remarkable memory to instantly say
"yes" or "no" as to what a book of 147
pages did or did not contain, without
reading it over. but such conservative
and well balanced answers are construed
by sensation seekers to be "dodging."
Where He Stood.
"Now, Mr. Methuselah." said the
chairman of the membership commit
tee of the GHgal club, "of coarse we
would be glad to put you up for mem
bership, and all that, but you know
the restrictions of our club are se
vere."
"Are they?" asked Methuselah."
"Yea, Indeed. We make a searchlnc
Inquiry Into the antecedents of each,
applicant."
"Antecedents? What's that?"
"Why, wo must know that he haa
proper claims to old and honorable
ancestry."
"Young man." remarked the patri
arch, "you'll find. If you take the trou
ble to look It up, that I am about the
most conspicuous ancestral exhibit
now at large In these parts."
Diagnosis Sustained.
"This man," said the chief surgeon,
indicating the swarthy foreigner bei
fore the clinic, "Is suffering from some
organic trouble."
Here two or three of the students
smiled knowingly.
"What is it, young gentlemen?
asked the chief surgeon, with dignity.
"That patient came here to be
treated for cramps in the arm. He
turns a hurdy gurdy," explained an
Interne. "He is not the patient you
were lecturing on."
"It's all the same. He has a hand
organic trouble, has he not?"
The attorney sought by every art to
impress the Jury with the fact thit Mr.
Post's belief in the power of Mind in
relation to the body branded him as un
reliable and worse.
The following is quoted from one ol
the questions:
(The lawyer reading from the book.)
"The writer of. these pages desires to
ray notning 01 nimseii oiner tnan as a
simple instrument through which the Di
vine Principle chooses to manifest itself
by precept and example.
"Skill in mental practice us gained in
the same way as skill in any department
cf science by observation, study, expe
rience and the ability to evolve correct
conclusions.
"Read carefully, thoughtfully no more
than twenty pages daily. Afterward seek
an easy position where you will not be
disturbed. Belax every muscle. CIoss
your eyes, and go into the silence where
mind is plastic to the breathings of spirit
and where Gcd talks to the Son. Tho
thoughts from Divine Universal Mind
come as winzed ancels and endow vmt
with a healing power. If you go into the
silence humble and trusting, you will come
out enriched and greatly strengthened ia
body by contact even for a short time
with the Father of all life and all power.
You will feel refreshed in every way and
food taken will digest readily as the
stomach works smoothly when under the
influence of a Higher Power."
Sisterly Interest.
"WTiene'vor you see a damsel fair
Hark to a man with listless air.
Or. walking' with him on tho street
Slie orten loads him bv two feet
Or if his tie Is turned askew
Slif lets him leave the thine on view
That's her brother.
And when vou see her with a man
To whom she gives a sister's scan.
c pon wnose every worn sne. nanira
As thousrh to miss one would
panes.
With whom she walks at gentle pace.
At whom she looks with upturned face
That's not her brother.
That's some other
Girl's brother.
caust
Human Physiology, by Raymond.
Physiological Chemistry, by Simon.
Digestive Glands, by Pawlow.
Hand Book cf Appendicitis, by Ochs-
ner.
"I ask you if you did not write that,
and if ycu did not believe it when you
wrote it."
For a moment the Court Room was ia
absolute silence.
Mr. Post slowly leaned forward over
the rail, pointed his finger at the Atty's
face to emphasize his reply and with eves
that caused those of the Attorney to drop
he said, "Yes, I am prcud to cay I did."
Solved.
Each May we've moved from flat to flat.
But now we'll have no more of that.
Each May we've suffered and endured.
But now that annual ill Is cured.
Wevo hit upon a splendid plan
We've settled In the moving- van!
Looking to the Future.
"Alethea," sighed the Impassioned
swain, "be mine! I would give all on
earth if you would but say the pre
cious words!"
"Alciblades," faltered the gentle girl,
"do you not think that would be rash?
If we should ever part, how could you
keep up your payments on my alimony?"
It may be remembered that we were first attacked and have since defended
ourselves by placing facts before that great jury The Public.
A good "scrap" is more or less comforting now and then, if you know
you are right
In the case lately tried, an appeal has been taken to the higher courts. We
bave unbounded faith in the ultimate decision of our American Tribunals.
Our suits against the "weeklyM have not yet been tried. They are for libel
and $500,000.00 is asked as damages, and may the right man win.
After all the smoke of legal battle blows away, the facts will stand out
clearly and never be forgotten that Postum, Grape Nuts, and Post Toasties are
perfectly pure, have done good honest service to humanity for years, the testi
monials are real and truthful and the business conducted on the highest plane
of commercial integrity.
-There's a Reason"
Postum Cereal Co., Ltd. Battle Creek Midi.
Two Points of View.
The man and his wife are witness
ing a performance of a romantic
drama in which the hero is indulging
in the usual heroics.
"Only to think," meditates the man.
"that there was a time when I was
so foolish as to Imagine myself in
such a rele."
"Only to think." meditates the wife,
"that there was a time when I was so
foolish as to Imagine him in such a
role."
In His Line.
"Now," says the commanding officer
"I want every man in the company to
keep his pistol trained on the en
emy." "Sir," says a private, stepping from
tLe ranks, "it may be I can be of
service in the duty you outline."
"How Is that?"
"I can train tho pistols for the
boys. I'm a horse trainer, and w
are armed with colt3."
1
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