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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 4, 1911)
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JM TFTFaRAM I
Hunch was out of the toils of the
aw. He hail loaned me IjJs country
house for a day, and I had presented
it to Clara J. intending to take it
right hack. I had used ghost stories
and burglars as levers with which to
pry her loose from her ownership of
Trouble villa, but she wouldn't part
Its it. liunch, as the phoney bur
glar, had b-en gathered in by the vil
Iuro constabulary, but had escaped;
and I was returning from the shadow
of tne pen.
When I reached the cottage I found
all tho members of my household
dreshed for the day and lined up on
the piazza, eager for news from the
exclaimed Uncle Peter,
"the boy is bareheaded!
your hat, John?"
"Mercy! I hope you're not
scalped!" Aunt .Martha cried, sympa
thetically. I explained that the desperado put j
Tip a stiff fight against Diggs the con-
stable and myself; warming up to the I
jEubject, I went into the details of a
hand-to-hand struggle that made them
all shiver and hlink their lanterns.
When finally I finished with the
statement that the robber knocked us
hoth down and had made a successful
break for liberty. Uncle Peter gave ex
pression to a yell of dismay, and once
again he and his how and arrow held
Tacks, my sweet little brother-in-law,
suggested that we burn the
house down so the burglar wouldn't
he able to find it if he camo around
after dark. I thought xtreir.ely well
of the suggestion, but didn't dare say
Aunt .Manna had just about decided j
to untie a fit of hysterics when Clara
J. reached for the kerosene bucket !
and throw oil on the troubled waters.
"Let's drop all this nonsense about
burglars and ghosts and go to break- j
;ast." she sugK sted. "I don't believe j
there ever was a ghost within sixty ,
Tulles of this house, and to save my I
soul I rouidn't be afraid of a burglar j
whose specialty consisted of falling in
Ji w r 7 X(W 'rwp
)W IWk i
. II 1 li ! -f 1. m
'And Who Are the Two Queens?" She Queried Bitterly.
and swearing till
After breakfast I was dragged away
to the brook to fish for lamb chops or
whatever kind of an animal it was
that Uncle Peter and Tacks decided
would bite. Aunt Martha posted off
to the cit on urgent business, the na
ture of which she carefully concealed
Clara J. said she'd be delighted to
have the house all to herself for an
hour or two. there were so many
rooms to look through and so many
plans to make.
Uncle Peter gave her his bow and
arrow with full instructions how to
shoot if danuer threatened, and Tacks
carefullv rubbed the steps leading up
to the piazza with soap to the bur- j
glar would fall and break his neck. I
Then the Utile shrimp called my at-
tention to his handiwork and demon- J
strated its availability by slipping
thereon himself and golnc the whole j
distance on his tace. He d:dn t break
his neck, however, so to my mind his
burglar alarm failed to make good.
As time wore on I felt more and
juore like a mock turtle being led to ;
the soup house. I
. The fact that Bunch wa sore wor- i
ried me. and I began to realize that It
was now only a question of a few
hours when I'd have to crawl up to
Clara J. and hand in my resignation.
Every time I drew a picture of that
scene and heard in:-self telling her I
f.vas nothing but a fawn-colored four- .
niih rmihi see mv future nutting on i
the mitts and getting -vady to hand .
;tne one. j
And when I thought of the dish of i
fairy tales I had cooked for that girl I
I could feel something running around
la my head and trying to hide. I sup
pose it was my conscience, getting
even with me for telling her 1 had j
bought her a country house, to ex
plain the missing numbers from my
pay envelope, which had in reality
been left with the bookmakers at the
At the brook Uncle Peter began to
throw out hints that he was the orig
inal lone fisherman. Tho lobster never
lived that could back away from him.
and as for fly casting, well, he was
Piscatorial Peter, the Fancy Fish
Charmer from Fishkill.
The old gentleman is very rich, but
he loves to live around with his rela
f ives. not because he's stingy, but sim
ply because he likes them and knows
they are good listeners.
Uncle Peter sat down on a rock
overhanging the clay bank which
sloped up about four feet above the
lazy brooklet. He carefully arranged
his exponsh'c rod. placed his fish bas-
ket near by and entered into a disser
tation on ang'ing that would make old
Iko Walton get up and leave the aqua
rium. In the meantime Tacks derided to
do some bait fishing, so nuu an old
case knife he sat down behind I'ncle
Peter and began to dig under the rock
"Fishing is the sport of kings." the
old man chuckled; "an' it's a long eel
' that won't turn when trodden upon. If
I you're not going to fish, John, do sit
down! You're throwing a shadow
over the water and that scares the
finny monsters. A fish diet is great
for the brain, John! You should eat
"There's man a true word spoken
from the chest." I sighed, just as
Uncle Peter made his first cast and
cleverly wound about eight feet of
line around a spruce tree on the op
The old man began to boil with ex
citement as he pulled and tugged in
an effort to untangle his line, and just
about this time Tacks became the
author of another spectacular drama.
In the search for the elusive worm
that feverish youth known as Tacks,
the Human Catastrophe, had finally
succeeded in prying the rock loose,
and immediately thereafter Uncle Pe
ter dropped his rod with a yell of ter
ror and proceeded to follow the man
The rock reached tho brook first,
but the old gentleman gave it a warm
hustle down the bank and finished a
close second. Ho was In the money.
Tacks also ran but In an opjosito
For some little time my spluttering
relative sat dumbfounded In about two
feet of dirty water, and when finally I
dipped him out of the drink he looked
like a busy wash-day. Everything was
damp but his ardor.
However, with oharacteristic s;ood
nature, he squeezed the water out of
his pockets and declared that it was
just the Kind of exercise he needed.
He made me promise not to tell Aunt
Martha, because she was very much
opjxised to his going in bathing on ac
count of the undertow Then I
sneaked him up to hi room and left
him to change his clothes.
On the piazza I found Clara J., her
face shroud d in the afterglow if a
She handed me a telocram
the envelope and asked me. with a
voice that was intended to be cutting
ly sarcastic. "Is there any answer?"
I opened the message and read:
Jiggersville. X. Y.
The two queens will b out this
afternoon they are good girls so trat
them white. RUXCH.
The unshakable idiot, to send me a
wire word', d like that! No wonder
Clara J. was sitting on the ice-cream
freezer! Of course it only meant that
Bunch's sister and her daughter were
coming out to look at their property,
which Clara J. thought was hers but
suffering mackerel! what an eye Clara
J. was giving me!
"And who are the two queens?" she
My face grew redder and redder.
Every minute I expected to turn into
a complete boiled lobster.
somebody reaching for
I could see
naise to sprinkle me.
"Well," she continued, "is there no
answer? Of course they are good
girls, and you'll treat them white.
but " Then the heavens opened and
the floods descended.
"Oh, John!" she sobbed; "how could
you be so unkind, so cruel! Think of
it, a scandal on the very first day in
my new home, and I was so happy!"
I would confess everything. There
was no other way out of it. I was on
my knees by her side just about to
blurt forth the awful truth when my
courage failed and suddenly I switched
my bet and gave the cards another
"It's all a mistake." I whispered;
"it's only Bunch Jefferson doing a
comedy scene. Don't you understand,
dear; when Bunch tries to get funny
all the undertakers have a busv sea-
son. I simply don't know who
means by the two queens, and as for
scandal, well, you know me, Pete!" I
I threw out my chest and save an
imitation of St Anthony.
"You must know 4vho he means,"
she insisted, brightening a bit. how
"Ah, I have It." I cried, brave-hearted
liar that I was; "he means my
Aunt Eliza and her daughter Julia!
You remember Aunt Eliza, and Julia?"
"I never heard you speak of them
before," she said, still unconvinced.
Good reason, too, for up to this aw
ful moment I never had an Aunt Eliza
or a cousin Julia, but relatives must
be found to fit the emergency.
"Oh. you've forgotten, my dear." I
said, soothingly. "Aunt Eliza and
Julia are two of the best aunts I ever
had er. I mean Aunt Eliza Is the
best cousin well, let it go at that!
Bunch may have met them on the
street, you see. ami they inquired for
my address. Yes. that's it. Dear old
"Is she very old?" Clara .1. asked,
willing to be convinced if I could de
liver the goods.
"Old." I echoed, then suddenly re
membering Bunch's description: "oh.
no; she's a young widow, about
twenty-eight or forty-one, somewhere
along in there. You'll like her im
mensely, but I hope she doesn't come
out until we get settled In a year or
Clara J. dried her eyes, but I could
see that she hadn't restored me to her
confidence as a member in good stand
ing. She pleaded a headache and went
away to her room, while I sat down
with Bunch's telegram in my hands
and tried to find even a cowpath
through the woods.
Uncle Peter came out. none the
worse for his cold plunge.
"Ah. my ooy. isn't this delightful!"
he cried, drinking in the air. "There's
nothing like the country. I tell you!
Look at that view! Isn't it grand?
John, to be frank with you. up until
I saw this place I didn't have much
faith in your ability as a business
man. but now I certainly admire your
wisdom in selecting a spot like this
what did it cost you?"
Cost me! So far it had cost me an
attack of nervous prostration, but I
couldn't tell him that. I hesitated for
the simple reason that I hadn't the
faintest idea what the place had cost
Bunch. 1 had been too busy to ask
"It's all right, John," the old fellow
went on; "don't think me too Inquisi
tive. A rubberneck Is tho root of all
evil. It's only because I've been
watching you rather closely since we
came out here and you seem to bo
nervous about something. I had an
idea maybe it took all your ready
money to buy the place, and possibly
you regret spending so much but
don't you do it! The best day's work
you ever did was when you bought
"Yes. I believe you!" I sighed, wear
ily, as I turned to look down the road.
I stiffened In the chair, for I saw
my finish in the outward form of two
women rapidly npproaching the house.
it's Bunch's sister and her daugh
ter." I moaned to myself. "Well. I'll
be generous and let the blow fall first
on Uncle Peter!" Accordingly, I made
a quick exit
In the kitchen I found Clara J., her
headache forgotten, busily preparing
(o cook the dinner.
She's a foxy little bundle of peaches,
that girl is; and I was wise to the fact
that her suspicion factory was still
' working overtime, turning out mate
rial for the undersigned.
I felt it In my bones that the steer
I gave her about Aunt Eliza had b-en
i placed in cold storage for safe keep
Her brain was busy running to. the
depot to meet the scandal Bunch's tel
egram hinted at. but she pretended
to catch step and walk along with me.
"John." she said. "I certainly do
hope vour relatives won't come nut
I for some little time, because we really
aren't ready for visitors, now are we.
"Indeed we are not." I groaned.
"I can't help thinking it awfully
strange that you should be notified o'
their coming by Mr. Jefferson, and r.
such peculiar language." she said,
after a pause.
"Didn't I tell you P.unch Is a low
comedian?" I said, weakly. "Besides,
ho knows them r-rv well. Aunt Fanny
. is very fond of Bunch."
i "Aunt Fanny." she repeated, drop-
ping a tin pan to the floor with a
ir:.s'i: "1 thought you s:.id her name
"Sure tiling!" I chortled, while my
heart fell off its perch and dropped
... . s t-i:..
i in my snoes. ner nam" !'. i
Fanny: some of us call her Aunt Liiza
some Aunt Fanny see?"
She hadn't time to see. for at that
moment Tack; rushed in oxr'airubig
"Sav. sitr. ihev two Grange o-i
op on the piazza talking to Uncle Pe
ter. and mavbe when thev g:i on" o'
them will fall down the steps if I
put some more soap there!"
Like a whirlwind he was wine again
Clara .T. simply looked at me queerly
and said. "The queens are here: treat
them white. John!"
I feU as happy as a piece of cliche.
(CopyriKht. by G. W. Dillingham Co.v
Here is a curious and little known
experiment that can be made v'th live
lobars 't is quite impossib!e to
stand a lobster up "on end" unless it
is first put to sleep.
This is done bv first stroking its
tall downward with the hand two or
three times, when the fish is at once
thiown into a state of coma, or deep
sleep, and remains in that position,
without a movement of any kind, for
about ten minutes. Even Its eyes are
fixed, and it has every appearance of
Another curious thing Is that when
one lobster wakes up the noise It
makes in falling down rouses all the
others, and the effect of one or wak
ing up is very Btrange.
Manners vs. Mannerism.
There's a vast difference between
manners and mannerisms. For In
stance, manners tafce.5 Its soup softly
and quietly, while mannerism gargles
It Manners says: "Parss the buttah.
please;" while mannerism bites a
chunk out of a piece of bread and
stutters: "Slip me the grease,
vou?" Detroit Free Press.
One From the Cashier.
The harmless customer leaned
across the cigar counter and smiled
engagingly at the new cashier. As he
handed across the amount his dinner
check called for he ventured a bit of
aimless converse, for he was of that
"Funny." said he. "how easy It Is to
"Well," snapped the cashier as she
fed his fare to the register, "If money
was intended for you to hold on to the
mint would be turning out coins with
handles on 'em."
Le, the Rich Indian.
The per capita wealth of the Indian
Is approximately $2,130. that for other
Americans Is only a little more than
$1,300. The lands owned by the In
dlans are rich in oil. timber and other
natural resources of all kinds. Some
of the best timber land in the United
States Is owned by Indians.
The value of their agricultural lands
runs up in the millions. The ranges
which they possess support about 500,
uOO sheep and cattle, owned by lessees,
bringing in a revenue of more than
$272,000 to the various tribes besides
providing feed for more than 1.500,000
head of horses, cattle, sheep and goats
I belongirg to the Indians themselves.
Practically the only asphalt deposits
In the United States are on Indian
lands. Red Man.
I think our conversational soprano,
as sometimes overheard in the cars,
arising from a group of young persons
who have taken the train at one of
our great industrial centers, for in
stance, young persons of the female
sex, we will say, who have bustled in
full dressed, engaged in loud, strident
speech, and who. after free discussion,
have fixed on two or more double
seats, which having secured, they pro
ceed to eat apples and hand round
daguerreotypes I say, I think the
conversational soprano, heard under
! these circumstances, would not be
among the allurements the old enemy
would put in requisition were he get
ting up a new temptation cf St. An
thony. There are sweet voices among us,
we all know, and voices not musical.
It may be. to those who hear them
for the first time, yet sweeter to us
than any we shall hear until we listen
to some warbling angel in the over
ture to that eternity of blissful har
monies we hope to enjoy. But why
should I tell lies? If my friends love
me, it is because I try to tell the
truth. I never heard but two voices
In my life that frightened me by their
Add to Cost ef Living.
The American Magazine reprints a
letter which was sent to the Massa
chusetts cost of living commission. It
goes as follows:
"It seems to me that the elimination
of waste is nearly Impossible in house
holds where there are numerous serv
ants; at least, I have found It so,
with only one, and the waste rises In
geometrical progression with the num
ber employed. I have bow been doing
my own cooking for nearly a year and
I feed my family twice as well on
about two-thirds the cost. A large
part of the saving comes in the eco
nomical use of meat. I make a de
licious dinner with a few scraps of
meat that a cook would give to the
"Then I depend a good deal on
soups, which I invent to suit my
larder. A few cold baked beans, with
a little tomato and a bit of meat on a
bone, or a little left over gravy, make
a soup that all eat with much pleasure
and it is so nourishing that it goes far
to make the dinner. Most people do
not understand how different a soup
Is when it has simmered a good many
hours. The soup that has been boiled
fast a couple of hours will taste flat
and uninteresting, whereas the same
soup five hours later will have such
a delicious blend of flavors that all
you know is that It is nice without
being able to distinguish the ingre
dients. Again it is time that counts.
Cooks waste the coffee and tea hor
ribly. Mix the coffee with cold water
the night before with an eggshell
and bring it to a boil in the morning
and you do not need a great deal for
a good cup of coffee. The tea In the
kitchen is piled into the teapot and
thrown out with but little of the good
ness extracted. Another frightful
waste is the coal. I use less than
half as much as any girl I ever had
and my stove bakes Defter. I never
complain of the draught, as she does
or did after burning all the goodness
out of her coal in the first hour after
A "Weekly" printed some criticisms of the
claims made for our foods. It evidently did
not fancy our reply printed In various news
papers, and brought suit for libel. At the trial
some interesting facts came out
Some of the chemical and medico! experts
The following facts, however, were quite
Analysis of brain by an unquestionable au
thority. Geogbegan. shows of Mineral Salts.
Phosphoric Acid and Potash combined (Phos
phate of Potash). 2.91 per cent of the total.
5.33 of all Mineral Salts.
This Is over one-half.
Beauni3, another authority, shows Phos
phoric Acid combined" and Potash 73.44 per
cent from a total of 101.07.
Considerable more than one-Half of Phos
phate of Potash.
Analysis of Grape-Nuts shows: Potassium
and Phosphorus, (which join and make Phos
phate of Potash), is considerable more than
one-half of all the mineral Ealts in the food.
Dr. Geo. W. Carey, an authority on the con
stituent elements of the body, says: "The
gray matter of the brain is controlled entirely
by the inorganic cell-salt. Potassium Phosphate
(Phosphate of Potash). This salt unites with
albumen and by the addition of oxygen creates
nerve fluid or the gray matter of the brain.
Of course, there is a trace of other salts and
other o-ganlc matter in nerve fluid, but Potas
sium Phosphate is the chief factor, and has
the power within itself to attract, by Its own
Thames te lurnt Cork.
"Gosh! But the colored race Is a
comln' to the front fast!" whispered
Innocent Uncle Hlrain, at the vaude
ville show, as the black-face comedian
was boisterously applauded.
"Yes, indeed," smiled the city man;
"anyone can see that that fellow la a
A Medical Compromise.
"Ton had two doctors la consulta
tion last night, didn't you?"
"What did they say"
"Well, one recomnNsnded one thing
and the other recommended some
"A deadlock, eh?"
"No. they finally told me to mix
The "Country Churchyard."
Those who recall Gray's "Elegy Ib
a Country Churchyard" will remember
that the peaceful spot where "the
rude forefathers of the hamlet sleep"
is Identified with St. Giles. Stoke
Poges. Buckinghamshire. In the pro
saic pages of a recent Issue of the
Gazette there appears an order In
council providing that ordinary Inter
ments are henceforth forbidden In the
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
If you'll mnk u your mtnd t b
Contented with your lot
And with the optimists mere
That trouble's soon forgot.
Touil be surprised to And. I guess.
Pesplte misfortune's darts.
What constant springs of happiness
LI hid in human hearts:
What sunny gleams and golden dreams
Th passing years unfold.
How soft and warm th Invellght beams
When you are growing old.
"It must have been frightful." said
Mrs. Bosslm to her husband, who was
in the earthquake. "Tell me what
was your first thought when you
awakened In your room at the hotel
and heard the alarm."
"My first thought was of you." an
swered Mr. Bosslm.
"Yes. First thing I knew, a vase off
the mantel caught me on the ear;
then a chair whirled in my direction,
and when I Jumped to the middle of
the room four or five books and a
framed picture struck me all at once."
Even after saying that, he affected
to wonder what made her so angry for
the remainder of the evening. Mack's
No Slang for Her.
"Slip me a brace of cackles!" or
dered the chesty-looking man with a
bored air, as he perched on the first
stool In the lunchroom.
"A what?" asked the waitress, as
she placed a glass of water before
"Adam and Eve flat on their backsl
A pair of sunnysiders!" said the young
man in an exasperated tone.
"You got me. kid." returned the
waitress. "Watcha want?"
"Eggs up." said the young man.
'"E-S-frs,' the kind that come before
the hen or after, I never knew which."
"Why didn't you say so in the first
place?" asked the waitress. "You'd a
had 'em by this time."
"Well, of all things " said the
"I knew what he was divln at all
the time." began the waitress as the
young man departed. "But he's one
of them fellers that thinks they can
get by with anything. He don't know
that they're using plain English now
All Need the Earth.
"There Is an Antaeus in every one
of us and in the whole of us which
needs the earth." says Henry Dem
arest Lloyd In his posthumous book.
"A grandmother was spreading before
the vision of a beloved child a picture
of the beauties of heaven with its
gates of pearl and its pavements of
gold. 'What,' said the scornful boy,
unpactivated. 'no mud?' There spoke
the real philosopher. We are earth
animals, and we need contact with
all the aspects of nature, human na
ture, and other nature. They who
feed wholly on white bread and the
tenderloin and the sweetness and
' light of the best people, art for the
art's sake, cannot get phosphates
I enough and soon develop the rickets.
! The man I heard say he liked to eat
with the common people once in a
while, the woman you beard say that
she thought it was her duty to as
sociate with the middle class, confess
the approach of extinction. They are
. losing touch with the source of all per-
sonal and social power."
Question Came Up in the Recent
Trial for Libel.
law of affinity, all things needed to manufac
ture the elixir of life."
Further on he says: "The beginning aad ead
of the matter is to supply the lacking princi
ple, nd in molecular form, exactly as nature
furnishes It In vegetables, fruits and grain.
To supply deficiencies this Is the only law of
The natural conclusion Is that If Phosphate
of Potash is the needed mineral element in
brain and you use food which does not contala
it, you have brain fag because Its daily loss Is
On the contrary, if you eat food known to
be rich in this element, you place before the
life forces that which nature demands for
In the trial a sneer was uttered because Mr.
Post announced that he had made years of re
search in this country and some clinics of
Europe, regarding the effect of the mind oa
digestion of food.
But we must be patient with those who
sneer at facts they know nothing about
Mind does not work well on a brain that Is
broken down by lack of nourishment
A peaceful and evenly poised mind Is neces
sary to good digestion.
Worry, anxiety, fear, hate, Ac, Ac, directly
interfere with or stop the flew of Ptyalla, the
digestive juice of the mouth, and also Inter
fere with the flow of the digestive Juices of
stomach aad pancreas.
Therefore, the mental state of the individual
has much to do (more than suspected) with
Ramadan is the month exalted by
Moslems above all others. In that
month the Koran according to Mos
lem tradition was brought down by
Gabriel from heaven and delivered to
men in small sections. la that month,
Mohammed was accustomed to retire
from Mecca to the cave of Hira, for
prayer and meditation. In that moath
Abraham, Moses and other prophets
received their divine revelations. In
that month the "doors of heaven are
always open, the passages to bell are
snut, ana me aevus are cnainea. so
run the traditions. The Christian
The League ef Politeness.
The League of Politeness has been
formed in Berlin. It alms at inculcat
ing better manners among the people
of Berlin. It was founded upon the
initiative of Fraulein Cecelie Meyer,
who was Inspired by an existing or
ganization in Rome. In deference te
the parent organization the Berlin
league has chosen the Italian motto,
"Pro gentilezza." This will be em
blazoned upon an attractive little
medal worn where Germans are ac
customed to wear the insignia of or
ders. The idea Is that a glaance at
the "talisman" will annihilate any In
clination to indulge in bad temper or
discourteous language. "Any polite
person" Is eligible for membership.
Why He Laughed.
Miss Mattle belonged to the old
south, and she was entertaining a
guest of distinction.
On the morning following his arrival
she told Tillie. the little colored maid,
to take a pitcher of fresh water to
Mr. Firman's room, and to say that
Miss Mattle sent him her compliments,
and that if he wanted a bath, the
bathroom was at his service.
When Tillie returned she said:
"I tor him, Miss Mattle, en' he
laughed fit to bus' hisself."
"Why did he laugh, Tlllier
"What did you tell him?"
"Jus" what you tol' ma to."
"Tillie, tell me exactly what you
"I banged de doah. and J said. 'Mr.
Firman, Miss Mai:le sends you her lub,
and she says. 'Now you can get up
and wash yo'self!" Llppincott's Mag
On her arrival In New York Mme.
Sara Bernhardt, replying to a compli
ment on her youthful appearance.
Bald: "The secret of my youth? It
is the good God and then, you know,
I work all the time. But I am a
great-grandmother." she continued,
thoughtfully, "so how can these many
compliments be true? I am afraid my
friends are exaggerating."
Mme. Bernbardt's laugh, spontane
ous as a girl's, prompted a chorus of
"Yes," said the actress, "uncon
scious exaggeration, like the French
nurse on the boulevard. Our boule
vards are much more crowded than
your streets, you know, and, although
we have numerous accidents, things
aren't quite as bad as the nurse sug
gested. "Her little charge, a boy of six,
begged her to stop a while iu o:ow.
surrounding an automobile accident.
'Please wait,' the little boy said, 'Want
to see the man who was run over.'
'No; hurry.' bis nurse answered.
'There will be plenty more to see
Had Money In Lumps.
Charles H. Rosenberg of Bavaria
bad lumps on his shoulders, elbows,
and hips when be arrived here from
Hamburg on the Kaiserin Auguste Vic
toria. In fact, there was a series of
smaller lumps along his spine, much
like a mountain range, as it is present
ed on a bas-relief map.
The lumps were about the slxe of
good Oregon apples, and as Rosen-'
berg passed before the immigration
doctor for observation, the doctor said
softly to himself, "See that lump."
Then he asked Mr. Rosenberg to step
"You seem like a healthy man,"
said the doctor, "but I cannot pass you
until I know the origin of those lumps
on your body." "Ah, it Is not a sick
ness," laughed the man frem Bavaria.
"Those swellings is money."
Taking off his coat he broke open a
sample lump and showed that it con
tained $500 in American bank notes.
He informed the doctor that he had
$11,000 in all, with which he was go
ing to purchase an apple orchard in
He was admitted to the country.
New York Tribune.
Economy In Art.
"Of course," said Mr. Slrius Barker,
"I want my daughter to have soma
sort of an artistic education. I think
Til have her study singing."
"Why not art or literature?"
"Art spoils canvas and paint
literature wastes reams of paper.
Singing merely produces a temporary
disturbance of the atmoapaere.
The late former Governor Alle IX
Candler of Georgia was famana la
the south for his quaint humor.
"Governor Candler." said fc Gaines
ville man, "once abandoned cigars for
a pipe at the beginning ef the year.
He stuck te his resolve nil the year's
end. Then he was heard to say:
"'By actual calculation, I hare
saved by smoking a pipe Instead of
cigars this year $208. But where la
Hard on the Mare.
Twice, as the bus slowly wended lt
way up the steep Cumberland Gap. the
door at the rear opened and slammed.
At first those Inside paid little heed;
but the third time demanded to know
why they should be disturbed In this)
"Whist." cautioned the driver,
doamt spake so loud; she'll everhear
"The mare. Spake low! Shure, Ol'm
desavin th crayture. Everry toime
she 'ears th door close, she thinks
won o yes Is gettin' down ter walk
up th' hill, an' that sort o' raises her
sperrits." Success Magazine.
Where He Was Queer.
The negro, on occasions, displays a
fine discrimination In the choice- of
"Who's the best white-washer la
tows?" Inquired the new resident.
"Ale Hall am a bo'sd a'tlst with a
whitewash brush, sab." answered the
colored patriarch eloquently.
"Well, tell him to come and white
wash my chicken house tomorrow."
Uncle Jacob shook his head dubV
"Ah don' believe, sah, ah'd engage
Ale Hall to whitewash a chlckes
"Why, didn't you say he was a gooe
"Yes, sah, a powe'ful good white
washer, sah; but mighty queer about
a chicken house, sah. mighty queerl
Mack's National Monthly.
New Process ef Staining Glass.
The art of coloring glass has bees
lest and refound. Jealously guarded
and maliciously stolen so many times
In the history of civilization that II
seems almost Impossible to say any
thing new on glass staining. Yet
process has been discovered for ma
king the stained glass used In windows
which Is a departure from anything
known at the present time. What the
Venetians and the Phoenicians knew
of It we cannot tell.
The glass first receives Its design In
mineral colors and the whole Is then
fired in a heat so Intense that the col
oring matter and the glass are lndl
solubly fused. The most attractive'
feature of this method Is the sur
face acquires a peculiar pebbled char'
aetcr 1-v tho best, so that wh3Lv h. .
glass Isj In place the lights are delight
fully soft and mellow.
In making a large window in many
shades each panel is separately mould
ed and bent and the sections are as
sembled In a metal frame.
Fidelity te Parole.
Judge Craln of the Court of Ges
eral Sessions has Just held a recep
tlon more worthy of note than anf
ball, banquet or other high functloa
of the season. It was held in hia
courtroom at night In response U
its summons came 117 men and won
en, scm old, some young every on
ef whom was a victor over some form
of temptation; an example or what
human faith can de to help human
weakness to redeem itself and be
Each of the company had been con
victed of some first offense against
the law. and each had been permitted
to go out on parole ef future good
behavior. Each had kept the faith.
The word was as tod as a bond.
Those who might have gene down la
the struggle bad found a way to rise
and fight again. They were all abls
to report good worn dene and bright
Time was when no one was trusted
en bis word save men of high degree.
Fidelity to parole was deemed a
princely virtue. Perhaps it Is. There
was nothing in Judge Craln's recep
tion to disprove 1L
This trial has demeastrated:
That Brain is made of Phosphate ef Potash
ss the principal Mineral Salt added to albu
men and water.
That Grape-Nuts contains that element as
more than one-half of all Its mineral salts.
A healthy brain Is Important, if oae would
"do things" 1b this world.
A man who sneers at "Mind" sneers at the
best and least understood part sf himself.
That part which seme folks believe llaks us to
Mind ssks for a healthy brain upon which to
act, aad Nature has defined a way to stake a
healthy brain and renew it day by day as it
la used up frost work of the previous day.
Nature's way to rebuild Is by the use of foot
which supplies the things required.
'There's a Reason
Postum Cereal Co.. Ltd.,
Bmttlo) Creek, MtcH.