The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, November 02, 1910, Image 8

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    Mfl ytt
11 A
trtatfti., Kicii A Co. Clotltl
!VEN the most critical
college man cannot
but like our two button
models. They have an
elegance of tailoring and
smartness of style which
will force the attention of
anyone having any ideas
about clever style.
The itUhman's Resource.
In his volume of essays. "Dreams
Dead Earnest and rialf Jest," Mr.
Coulson Kernahan compares bis com
patriots, tiie natives of the Green Isle,
with the English:
"That your Englishman never knows
when he is beaten is the veriest plati
tude. In all the world there is no na
tionality which can play a losing game
with such desperate doggedness. I
venture to think, however, that the
Irishman and therein is perhaps a
reason why he excels in the art of war
Is more resourceful, is quicker to
think and quicker to act.
"An Englishman, Gliding himself in a
corner so tight that any one else would
decide at once that there was nothing
for It but surrender or retreat, says.
Here I am. and here I'll stick to be
shot at till I'm killed or till relief
comes.' An Irishman in the same place
would say: 'It's the mischiefs own
hole I'm In! But wait now! What
way Ml I be getting out?" And get out
the Irishman generally does, for he is
so resourceful that his resourcefulness
might sometimes be better described
as sllpperiness."
The Making of a Business Man.
So many panes of glass in o!d Mr.
YIners greenhouse had been broken
that he had at last offered a reward of
10 shillings to any one who should
give information as to the identity of
the latest offender. The bait soon
drew. A youngster called on Mr. Viner
and informed him that a lad named
Archie Thompson was a guilty party
He received his reward, went away re
joicing, and the old gentleman forth
with wrote to the local schoolmaster
demanding the production of the said
Archie Thompson to make good s lit
damage he had done to his windows.
Nest day the informer called again.
"The schoolmaster sent me." he said
briskly. "I've seen a glazier, and he'll
put your glass right for 3 shillings
Here It Is, and"
"Notsafast, my lad." said Mr. Viner.
"Have you come on behalf of Archie
"Well, yes, sir, in a way." said the
boy. "Fact Is." he continued confiden
tially. "I'm him!" London Answers
Horses In the Time of Homer.
The hoi-si's used in Homer's time
were wur horses. The warrior.: were
drawn in chariots. The art of riding
was known, but it is alluded to as
something unusual. I'lysses at the
time of his shipwreck "bestrode a
plauk. like a horseman on :i bite steed."
There are reasons for believing that
the practice of riding was much later
than that of driving, and the myth of
the centaur, where, according to Shake
speare, "man is iucorpsed and deiniua
tured with the beast." probably orig
inated at an early period when the ap
pearance of a mau on horseback was a
novel sicht.
Advertised Letters.
Following is s list of unclaimed mail
matter remaining in the-post office at
Columbus, Nebraska, for the period end
ing November 12, 191o:
Letters Chas E Anderson, H A Dietz
Mrs Alice Pinch. Emmet Ferguson,
Oliver Gray, 1 J Holcomb, S II Hudson
C. Lindsay.
Oards Miss Mario Bnttell. (Jeorge
Boeme, John Dalton. George W. Gibson,
Oliver Gray. Miss darn Mafison, Mrs
Lester Miller, Ralph Kisdy. George A
Parties calling for any of the above,
will please say advertised.
Carl Kramer, P. M.
Nov. Eight
DorVt Forget
Rep'n Candidate
Wood Was Scare, but They Managed
to Rig Up a Coffin.
In some of the mining districts of
South Australia there is a great scar
city of wood. Consequently, If you are
so foolish as to die there you must not
expect to have a coffin, but must be
content to be wrapped In a sack before
being deposited in Mother Earth.
However, when a certain very prom
incut resident of a mining camp died
the other people of the settlement by
the way, it was called Tarcooler.
though coolness was unknown and
Tarhotter would have been a more
suitable name determined that he
should be buried in style. So they set
about getting a coffin. They made one
of a sort, placed a lid on It and laid it
(with the deceased Inside) in an empty
tent for the night.
Next morning the lid of the coffin
was missing. It was afterward found
that it had been stolen to make the
tailboard of a butcher's cart.
However, in spite of this trifling loss
the funeral was conducted with great
solemnity. The coffin was much ad
mired. It had been made out of the
boxes in which the dynamite was sent
to the mines. Some people might hare
considered that the obsequies were
marred by the fact that the coffin bore
In large letters on one side the legend
"Keep dry," and on the other "Stow
away from Ixrilers," but that did not
trouble the simple minds of the Tar-cool-'uns.
London Tit-Bits.
An Anecdote of Bach.
The Duke of Saxe-Weimar once In
vited John Sebastian Bach, the Nestot
of German music, to attend a dinner
at the palace. Before the guests sat
down to the feast Bach was asked to
give an improvisation. The compose!
seated himself at the harpsichord ami
straightway forgot all about dinner
and everything else. He played so long
that at last the duke touched his shoul
der and said. "We are very much
obliged, master, but we must not let
the soup get cold."
Bach sprang to his feet and followed
the duke to the dining room without
uttering a word. But he was scarcely
seated when he sprang up, rushed back
to the instrument like one demented,
struck a few chords and returned to
the dining rcom. evidently feeling
much better. "I beg your pardon, your
highness." he said, "but you interrupt
ed me in a series of chords and arpeg
gios on the dominant seventh, and I
could not feel at ease until they wen
resolved into the tonic. It Is as If you
had snatched a glass of water from
the lips of a man dying of thirst Now
I have drunk the glass out and am
His Turn Came.
Ben Davis defeated President Madi
son for election to the Virginia house
of delegates after Madison had left the
White House. Old Davis, who seldom
wore a coat, was sitting on a rail fence
on the roadside in Greene county one
morning when a young man dressed In
dapper fashion and evidently from the
city passed by.
"Good morning," said David, with
the proverbial Virginia politeness.
To this the stranger paid no atten
tion. In a few minutes, however, he
came to a fork in the roads and was
evidently In doubt which way he
should go. ne retraced his steps to
where Davis still sat on the fence and
asked him with great politeness If he
could tell him which way led to Stan
ardsville. Davis made no reply.
"Will you please tell me," the young
man repeated, "which road I take to
get to Stanardsville?"
Tou can," said Davis stolidly, "take
any d d road you please." Popular
A Lawyer's Paradise.
Naples, under Spanish rule In the
eighteenth century, was overrun with
lawyers. Of their profusion Joseph
Addison hud tlds to say:
"It is incredible how great a multi
tude of retainers to the law there are
at Naples. It is commonly said that
when Innocent XI. had desired the
Marquis or Campio to furnish him
with 30.000 head of swine the mar
quis answered him that for bis swine
he could not spare them, but If his
holiness had occasion for 30,000 law
yers he had them at his service."
It seems to have been a golden age
for lawyers, for. as the author says,
"there are very few persons of con
sideration who have not a cause de
pending, for when a Neapolitan has
nothing else to do he generally shuts
himself up in his closet and falls a
tumbling over his papers to see if he
can start a lawsuit and plague his
neighbors." Dietetic and Hygienic Ga
zette. Technically Gentlemen.
There is only one strictly technical
definition of gentleman a man entitled
to bear coat armor. In the seven
teenth and eighteenth centuries it was
used with this significance, and the
secondliaud bookstall hunter will oc
casionally find "So-and-so, "gentle
man." written on dusty and stained fly
leaves. But this definition has dropped
out, for now any one may use arms
who chooses to pay for an arms li
cense. The inland revenue takes your
guinea or two guineas without inquir
ing as to your right to bear arms. And,
though the heralds college has the
right to grant arms to those who can
afford to pay the necessary fees. It
cannot prevent people from using
arms to which they have no right
London Chronicle.
Spoiled It For Him.
Mr. Clarke's butler had asked for a
night off. for the purpose, as he ex
plained, of attending a ball In the vil
lage. The next day Mr. Clarke asked
him how he had enjoyed'hiuiself.
"Oh, pretty good, sir, thank you,"
was the response. "It would have been
better if it-hadn't a-been for the wom
en. I can't abide women at a ball"
New York Press.
A Beautiful Thought.
A little girl absorbed in gazing at
the starry skies being asked of what
she was thinking said, "I was think
ing if the wrong side of heaven Is so
glorious what must the right side be!"
The Tale ef a Purseeely Interrupted
Yachting Cruise.
A Xe seasons back a well known
hostess chartered a splendid yacht for
August and invited a large number of
her friends for a three weeks' cruise. At
first all went weli; though the party
was not specially well assorted, but
after a few days they began to evince
signs of being somewhat bored with
each other's company.
The hostess marked these signs of
Incipient boredom, which became more
plainly evident each day, and at last
In despair she took counsel with one
of her guests, an old and experienced
"What on earth shall I do to amuse
these people?" she asked.
The yachtsman looked at the serene
sky and calm, blue wafer and shook
his head doubtfully.
"A storm would enliven them up a
bit," he said, "but the weather looks
quite settled. There is only one thing
to be done. You must arrange a break
down; the engineer will manage that
all right for you. He has probably
often done so before. Then you must
make for the nearest port for repairs
and let your guests have a run ashore.
Some of them, I expect, will find an
excuse for bidding you goodby and
those who remain with you will get
along all right together."
The hostess took her guest's advice
and arrived at Toulon a day later,
where nigh twenty of her guests bid
her goodby. London M. A. P.
And Miss Alcott Was at the Other End
of the Flirtation.
It seems an awful thing, but here is
the circumstance on record that Louisa
M. Alcott, the sainted author of "Little
Women." once publicly flirted with Ed
ward VII. The fact comes out iu Mrs.
Belle Mose's Iwok, "Louisa May Al
cott. Dreamer and Worker." There is
a passage in the book which contains
Miss Alcott's personal account of the
Incident. It refers to the time when
the late king, then Prince of Wales,
made his famous visit to this country.
"I went to Boston." Miss Alcott re
lates, "and I saw the Prince of Wales
trot over the common with his train at
review a yellow haired laddie, very
like his mother. Fanny W. and I nod
ded and waved as he passed and be
openly winked his lwylsh eye at us.
for Fanny with her yellow curls and
wild waving looked rather rowdy, and
the poor little prince wanted some fun.
We laughed and thought that we had
been more distinguished by the saucy
wink than by a stately bow. Boys are
always Jolly even princes."
By the way. this Incident occurred
in 1SG0, when the Prince of Wales was
nineteen years old and consequently
quite a broth of a loy, and when Miss
Alcott we blush to record It was
twenty-eight New York Mall.
Infernal Regions of the Buddhists and
The infernal regions of Buddhism
are horrible. They comprise a great
hell and 130 lesser hells. In these
hells, according to the sculptures of
the Buddhist temples, men are ground
to powder and their dust turned into
ants and fleas and spiders. They are
pestled in a mortar. The hungry eat
redhot iron balls. The thirsty drink
molten iron.
IslnmLsm says of the infernal re
gions: "They who believe not shall
have garments of fire fitted for them.
Boiling water shall be poured on their
heads and on their skins, and they
shall Im lieaten with maces of iron."
In the Scandinavian mythology, the
mythology of Odin and Thor, we are
told that "in Xastrond there Is a vast
and direful structure, with doors that
face the north. It is formed entirely
of the backs of serpents, wattled to
gether like wickerwork. But the ser
pents heads are turned toward the in
side of the ball, and they continually
send forth floods of venom, in which
wade nil those who commit murder or
forswear themselves."
The Gold Dust Was There.
North America has counted as a gold
producing continent only since the late
forties. But it might well have done
so for altout 1100 years. According to
the London Chronicle. In the voyage
round the world which begun in 1719
the privateer Captain Sbelvocke found
in certain California valleys "a rich
black mold which, as you turn it fresh
up to the sun. appears as If Inter
mingled with gold dust. Though we
were a little prejudiced." he adds,
"against the thought that it could be
IossibIe that this metal should be so
promiscuously and universally mingled
with common earth, yet we endeavor
ed to cleanse and wash the earth from
some of it. and the more we did the
more it appeared like gold. In order
to be further satisfied I brought away
some of it, which we lost in our con
fusion in China."
Ate Himself Thin.
A terribly emaciated man, about
thirty-five years of age. was eating
four meals a day. including a heavy
breakfast. He was also taking milk
between meals. I induced him to give
up the milk letweeu meals and to take
only a cup of weak tea for breakfast.
At once his weight began to increase.
It is now normal. Obviously it was a
case not only of ordinary mental wor
ry, but also of worry and overwork of
the millions of cell lives within him.
He gave the cells aud organs a rest
and at once there was a storage of en
ergy and weight. Metropolitan Maga
zine. Linked Before and After,
naving entered the church at Re
gensburir. in Germany, for the purpose
of being married and taken his place
beside the bride, a man named Wahl.
who seems to have been ofa some
what nervous disposition, suddenly
rushed out of the building, took a cab
to the station and jumped into a mov
ing train. We have always maintained
that the bridegroom should be band
cuffed to the best man until the con
clusion of the ceremony. It Is foolish
to take unnecessary risks. London
One of the: Tell
' -
dsr i
UIorud -
Bon. 4ea. s. lartley,
atats.Treasugcr LlnooinJ;Kif
SeaVsir: eBlBe7 .-
that I weald Uka to waXe outAneinoteaaafoilowa:
i0n due septanber ) .
One due October l,
0n duo Kovanbar lv
One due neoenber 1, ,
On due January 1, 189'
the letter x night ask to'haa'axtaKaSUji
soul t paid at waturity t witH.
taraat on yraaant not.
- -a
llUitiqaiba eatlafaotoryr;
Wa reproduce above a copy of one ot
the letters between Congressman
Hitchcock as Joaeph Bartley, which
have caused sack a big political sen
sation. Edgar Howard, one of the
most prominent democrats in the state
and editor of tae Columbus Telegram,
produced photographic copies of a
number of letters which passed be
tween Mr. Hitchcock and Mr. Bartley,
while Bartley was still holding the of
fice of state treasurer, and relating to
money transactions. Bartley turned
out a defaulter to the extent of over
halt a million dollars of state funds,
and served a term In state prison for
the oCeasa. It has always been a
mystery where the money went It
will be noticed that the letter Is ad
dressed to Bartley as treasurer and
not aa a banker or an Individual, and
ia dated during the time that he was
treasurer of the state. Other letters
and telegrams have been published,
which passed between Hitchcock and
Bartley at this time. While Hitch
cock claims that the money he bor
rowed of Bartley was Bartley's private
funds, most of the newspapers of the
state have scoted at this explanation.
The progressives among the repub
lican senators are coming to the aid
of Senator Burkett In his fight for re
election. Certainly these senators are
hi a position to know of the work
of our senior senator, and their judg
ment ought to be accepted by the hon
est laquirer.
Senator Bristow.
Last week Senator Bristow, the In
surgent Senator from Kansas, said of
Senator Burkett:
"I should be Tory much pleased to
render any assistance I could to Sen
ator Burkett, but I have spent so
much time outside of Kansas already
that I caanot any longer neglect the
"While upon a number of votes Sen
ator Barkett and I did not agree, yet
he waa of especial value to the pro
gressive cause, not only in the tariff
fight in behalf ot a genuine revision,
but also la the fight for effective and
efficient legislation regulating the rail
roads, ha rendered lne service.
"Wishing yoa success, I am
"Very truly yours,
Senator Beveridge.
And now cosmos Seaator Beveridge,
the flgatlag- insurgent senator from
Indiana, who last week wrote to the
chairman of the republican state com
mittee aa follows:
"I am Tory aura the people of Ne
braska will return Senator Burkett
to the senate. The great progressive
movement that ia awecping over this
country needs every man of progres
sive tendeaelea. Generally speaking,
the politicians aow in control of the
Democratic party are not putting up
such men. The whole tendency of the
cabal of dominant politicians now in
control of that party is reactionary.
One has oaly to consider the domi
nant influences in that party from
'cw York and Ohio to Texas and
"I am exceedingly sorry that the
rgagements already made will pre
sent my coming to Nebraska, for I
Ex-Preeldent Roosevelt.
Ia a speech at Omaha on September
I. 1910, ex-President Roosevelt said:
cnator Burkett was one of the men
. whom I especially relied when I
s president, both while he was In
House and in the Senate. I was
o accomplish what I did in
Kington oaly because of the way
-. backed by men like Senator
.. t. and aa wa have a guest from
resent, let me say, like Senator
rIght has one to criticize the
: a-v.-n election if be doaaa't
"There Is an Instinct in the heart of
man which makes him fear a cloud
less happiness. It seems to blm that
he owes to misfortune a tithe of bis
life, and that which he does not pay
bears interest, is amassed and largely
swells a debt which sooner or later be
must acquit"
Her Long Dream.
Estelle Ah! His proposal was Just
like a dream!
Agnes Well, you ought to know,
dear. You've been dreaming of that
proposal for years.
- Tale Letters.
interest . .!
should Ilka
indeed to be
of any po:
,ce that I could
In the re-alaaUOa)
Senator Burkett
He should be
no doubt ha 1
and I bava
tfta tetaraed.
"With kind
Senator LaJtotysSta's Magazine, la
an article reviewiS; Senator Burkett'a
work said:
"To get the Cratk about Senator
Burkett, you matt gat dose. You must
study his record. When you do this,
you will see that Be Is a progressive
progressing. Yoa will find that dur
ing the railroad legislation of 190S
he took strong sftrfaes in the people's
cause. You will find him forging
ahead with the saarest handful of re
publican senators la support of the
amendment to provide for the physical
valuation ot railroad property as a
basis for the resalatloas of railroad
rates, an amendment that was anathe
ma to the 'system' leaders of the Sen
ate. You will find him springing for
ward to tho support of an amendment
to protect the railway employees and
to fix a just liability upon the rail
roads for their injuries incurred in
this hazardous service. You will find
him afterwards charging the ramparts
of the 'system' in behalf of the rail
road company employee's liability bill.
You will find him again voting consis
tently, roll-call after roll-call, while
'system' senators were 'ducking into
the cloak rooms to avoid the vote, to
put to passage in the Senate the bill
to promote the safety of the traveling
public and the employees of railways
by fixing a reasonable limitation on
the hours ot rsfirnsd employees en
gaged in the operation-of trains."
Senator Ctsnmfns.
In a speech at teoob on last Thurs
day Senator Oanualaa of Iowa said:
"I am her,eBfjBvr. as most or you
know my cMat tjnpose at least In
visiting lAxxatOm tt thia time, is to
contribute, it Z BB contribute with
the little InAOBaw that my words
may have.tto OS) telectIon of my as
sociate in the) Ofpate of the United
States, and tag fcad, Elmer J. Bur
kett I haaaltrfJitilHwell;I have
I say to eB)raaatoeTBan,k.and fellow
townsmemsMMMBhat to altogeth
er unnecassafBjatt'SMlieve, as hav
ing witnessed tawork in two of the
severest sArasjBjsfiRjhat lmve ever been
seen in the flaVta of the United
States, that ) OaSYdtt does what
he believes is tj tightHand votes as
his conscfeae Mb Binr he ought to
vote sad no eratJRsj than 'that can be
asked ot aa anas.
at e
He haa serve jmx iwithVnot only
great fidelity, Stat I think he iias
served you wiSa inasaji ability,
and we who avsj ( I hope you will
not think ma aajSnalli ill when I say
this) aomaasftaisaeaofrwhat jfjoold
be done in the Satire, and intend to
accomplish it in, t every way .that me
can, (honorably can) want Elmer
Burkett in the Senate instead of Gil
bert Hitchcock ia, the Seaete. for the
reasons which I shall attempt in the
plainest and simplest way to .state."
Senator Cumaakaa in his speech at
Chicago says nothing is to :be gained
by trusting either house of Congress
to the democrats. He has seen some
of them at close range.
When you tan how dull business
was wtien the democratic party was
last in power, isn't it a big risk to
try. it again?
Ex-Presidoat Roosevelt is having
great sport causing opponents out of
the jungles in durkfcst New York.
After next Tuesday the candidates
troubles will, be over, ibut .will yours:
t A'ThreatA
Immature-1 Conductor (to clarinet
player) See here, Mr. Scblag. why
don't you Yellow my lieat? Veteran
Clarinet (temnJy) If lyouedon't look
owid I will:--Ptxk.
A (Surprise.
Gertie I wanit to givemy sweet
heart a surpriseeon M birthday. Can
you suggest something"? Anibel Well,
you mfgbtftelKhfim your age.
Bad men ex;use their faults:
men will llearef them. Johnson
e Ylul M.
10c Candy Counter
Nothing Over
Post Cards, lc each; 10c per dozen
The Lonely Schwarenbach Inn and a
Literary Coincidence.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle onee walked
over the Gemini. He was much im
pressed by the desolate appearance of
the lonely looking Schwarenbach i:':.
Here, it seemed to him. was an ideal
scene in which a novelist might locate
a story of mystery and crime.
He preceded to Invent a story n
mystery and crime suitable to the
creepy environment. It was a story of
murder the murder of a long lost son
just home from the wars by hi own
father, the needy innkeeper, who did
not recognize him until after the deed
was done, but had resolved to kill and
rob the first lonely stranger that
passed that way with money In hi
"The very thing." thought Sir Ar
thur, and he went down the bill cheer
fully revolving the morbid conception
iu his mind. Then a strange thim: hap
pened. After dinner, in the hotel at Leuker
bad. he picked up a volume of Mau
passant's short stories and he found
that the French author had not only
been to the Schwarenbach inn before
him. but had actually located there
vtory practically identical with the one
which he himself had just devised.
Travel and Exploration.
He Took the Blame.
The guilty man always gives him
self away." said a detective, "fur. like
the chap who bought the forty-cent
bathing suit, lie can't hide his guilty
conscience. The chap I have in mind
entered the water at Atlantic 'ity iu
a forty-cent suit of blue flannel. As he
splashed about he was joined by :i girl
friend. Th. girl flashed her lyi'-'ht
eyes over the tumbling expanse of sea
and then with a sigh of delight she
'Isn't the water blue today?
"It's shameful, said the man. with
a hot blush: 'it's perfectly shameful
how this cheap bathing flannel runs!"
How to Look Pleasant.
By her gracious and cordial manner
the wife of a western senator has long
charmed those so fortunate as to at
tend her delightful "functions."
On one such occasion a close friend
was alluding to the hostess graceful
method of making every one feel at
home. "How on earth do you manage
to do it?" the friend asked.
"Oh. It's easy enough." replied the!
woman with the engaging manner .
"As each guest approaches to shake j
hands I just pretend to myself that ,
the. person I am going to speak to is i
some one I like. Chicago Kecord
nerald. Up the Rhine.
Mrs. Ib.binson And were you up
the IMiine? Miss Ntirich (just returned
...... .. I. it.. f jl...1lll lllilll."
so. right to the very top. What a
splendid view there Is from the sum
mit! Duty and today are ours: results and
faturitv belong to God. Horace Gree-
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- North Theatre, Thursday, Nov. 10
Positively a
GBUsrmmteed Attraction
10c per Pound.
They Were Not Mere Rings as Those
of the Modern Circus.
The arenas of ancient Borne were
not. as some people suppose, mere
rings or ovals, such as may be seen In
the modern circus. They were broken
up :;nd varied iu character according
to the nature of the fighting to bs
dene or to the caprices of those In au
th"i:fy. !i inn occasion ait arena might re
semble I he Numidian desert, ou an
!ier tht' garden of v Hesperldes. thick
set with graves of frees and rising
m-urds. while auniu it pictured the
gr:-:'t ro;-?;; :! raves of Thrace.
With f' surroundings the com
batants advanced, retreated, encircled
their adversaries or kept wild beasts
at buy as occasion offered or as their
cour-tge or fear suggested. Men com
bated not only with the more common
brutes, but with such monsters as ele
phanK rWnoeenwes. hlppoimtaiuuse?
and eroci diles.
On other occasions flocks of game,
such a i'e.r aud war ostriches, were
abandon, d to the multitude, and In
some :! : tht' arenas could 1k turned
into lake-, filled with mousten: of the
deep. uu,l 'P: U surface of which
naval engagements took place. Lon
dou Saturday Review.
Hints to Swimmers.
An expert swimmer Is authority for
the assertion that a vast majority of
the drowning casualties which are at
tributed to cramps are In all probabil
ity the result of cardiac exhaustion.
Nearly all experienced swimmers, lw
says, know that cramps when In the
water are of comparatively infrequent
occurrence. It is commonly iu the calf
... -.I....
of the leg. ana tne swimmer uy i$iun s.
miietlv unon his back without undue X.
alarm and stretching out the leg may
overcome this somewhat painful invol
untary muscular contraction. The ex
ertion of swimming, however. Is fully
equal to the exertion of running, with
the additional tax upon the system of
a gradual lowering of the bodily teni
perature. It is oue thing to know how
to swim and quite another to be In u
physical condition to do the swimming.
London Globe.
The Most Important Thing.
Commander Peary, at one of the nu
merous Washington dinners following
his triumphant return from the polo,
got the better of a senator Iu a war of
"What is the good of your discov
ery:" the senator said. "I'll wager that
you didn't find a single iiiiMrtuut tliiug
at the north pole."
"Oh. yes. I did." said the explorer.
"I found one very, very Important
"Humph! What was that?" the sen
:iter grunted.
"The way back home again." was
the reply.
Vague Information.
"What diil the fellow do who stole
the drum ftm:i the band when he saw
the leader cmning with a policeman?"
"lie beat it." Baltimore American.
Cheerfulness is an offshoot of good
ness nnd wisdom. Bovee.
35c, 50c, 75c, 91.00. $1.50
fJUCS ; jl