V
SALT SEAYARNS.
Signs and Omens to Which the
Sailor Grimly Clings.
HE 10STTHE RAGE
Mark Twain's Futile Chase After
a TaHyho Coach.
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POESCH'S
10c Candy Counter
Nothing over
The Light of the Stars.
Various endeavors have been made
to estimate the light of the stars. In
the northern hemisphere Argelander
has registered .TJ1.000 stars down to
the nine and a half magnitude, and
with the aid of the best photometric
aata Agnes M. Clerk's "Sj-stem of the
Btars" gives the sum of the light of
these northern stars as equivalent to
1-440 of full moonlight, while the total
light of all stars similarly enumerated
lu both hemispheres, to the number of
about 900,000, is roughly placed at
1-1S0 of the lunar brightness. The
scattered light of still fainter celestial
bodies is dltiicult to compute. Iiy a
photographic method Sir William Ab
bey rated the total starlight of both
hemispheres at 1-100 of full moonlight,
and Professor Xewcomb from visual
observations of all stars at just 72S
times that of Capella. or 1-S9 of the
light of the full moon.
It Is not certain, however, that the
sky would be totally dafk if all stars
were blotted oat. Certain processes
make the upper atmosphere strongly
luminous at times, and we cannot be
Bure that this light would be totally
ubseut. Harper's Weekly.
Couldn't Forget It.
"Saturday night some miscreant lug
ged off a whole cord of my wood, and
somehow 1 can't forget about it." de
clared Silas.
'Have you tried to forget it?" in
quired his friend.
"Yes. Sunday morning I went to
church, hoping 1 could get it off my
mind, and before I had been there five
minutes the choir started In singing
The Lost Chord.' so 1 got out."
Judge.
!t7S
t x"ylSrwH
uynvu
txwrcatftf
to t it" i
See that
Stripe!
That is distinctive of
Cooper,Wells&Co."s
Style No. 69
One of the best
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-ply bombed yam
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We recommend
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Comes in LIccfc
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For sale by J. H. GALLEY
505 Eleventh Street COLUMBUS, NEB.
BcBOttKIES MrWMWTyioia-l fMfk Et&SjTflF JTFbI
The Bell Telephone has made it possible
to do shopping satisfactorily, and with com
fort, economy and despatch.
Satisfactorily, for practically every store and
shop caters to telephone trade and pays special
attention to telephone orders.
With comfort, for by telephone you can shop
from your easy-chair, down town or to distant
city.
With economy, for telephoning costs less than
car fare, and saves time and reaches everywhere.
With despatch, for a Bell telephone communica
tion is instantaneous and comprehends both mes
sage and reply.
10c per pound.
Party's Fate on One Vote.
Instances are common enough In
elections when a single vote turns the
scale, but for that vote to decide not
only the fate of a candidate, but of a
party as well, is rare. Yet a majori
ty of one in parliament, which may
iogically depend on a majority of one
a the country, has worked some of the
most momentous results jwssible. The
classical example is the act of union
of 1790. certainly among the largest,
most important and most remarkable
changes ever accomplished by a legis
lative body. One hundred and six
voted for it and 103 against. Then a
majority of one carried the great re
form bill in 1S32.
Majorities only a little bigger have
again and again been responsible for
farreaching consequences. A majori
ty of five threw out the Melbourne
government in 1S39. By the same fig
ure Lord John Russell's government
was defeated in 1SGG. Gladstone went
out of office in 1S73 because he lacked
three votes, and the public education
act, one of the most important ever
passed, was placed on the statute
book by a majority of two. London
Chronicle.
An Even Score.
"What is your objection to him,
papa'"
"Why. the fellow can't make enough
money to support you."
"But neither can you."
No Use For Theory.
Wigwag It is a jet theory of mine
that two can live as cheaply aa one.
Youngpop Huh: It's plain to be seen
yon were never the father of twins.
Philadelphia Record.
sa
n
X
m
(
Not Iron
But Lots of
Hard Wear
in Them.
Nebraska Telephone Go.
D. J. ECHOLS,
Local Manager
A JOKE THAT PROVED FATAL
Superstition and Guilty Conscience
Proved Too Much For the Norse
manA Bucket of Water That
Stopped a Mysterious Wailing.
It Is n well known fact that In the
past the sailor was among the most
superstitious of mortals, and even In
these enlightened days there are a
goodly number of old salts who cling
tenaciously to their belief In certain
signs and portents. Some, no doubt,
of these superstitions have vanished
altogether Into the Umbo of forgot
ten things, but there will always be a
credulous few who will shake their
heads solemnly and prophesy dismally
If a knife Is stuck In the mast or an
albatross or a stormy petrel Is cap
tured and brought on board. The
origin of some of-these superstitions
cannot be traced. Many of them have
been banded down from father to son
for a great number of years, with a
touch probably added here and there,
turning a comparatively ordinary sto
ry Into a weird and mysterious legend.
The Finn is the most superstitious
of all sailors. There are many of this
race who still believe In the ominous
portent of the phantom ship, the folly
of starUng a voyage on a Friday (a no
tion by no means confined to seafaring
men), the low burning blue lights
which are ghost spirits hovering near
to give warning of approaching disas
ter and many other things, all of
which
Fill the sailor's mind with murmuring
And speak to him of wrecks.
A story Is told of a brigantine which
numbered several extremely superstl
tious men among her crew. One night
when there was no moon and a slight
ground swell was running the watch,
who happened to be the most super
stitious of them all, heard an anearth
Iy walling coming apparently from the
very surface of the sea. The mate and
the helmsman also heard it, but the
former lacked imagination, and, al
though he was certainly interested, be
nearly blew the watch's head off when
he ventured to suggest mermaids. The
helmsmuu did not feel quite happy, but
be bad to stick to the wheel. The
watch was pale with terror, but he
kept silence owing to the mate's com
plimentary references to his courage
and abilities. Slowly the sound began
to move along the ship's side, becom
ing more and more agonized as It ap
proached. This annoyed the mate, and.
going to the side of the vessel, he wait
ed until he had located the sound and
then emptied n bucket of water over
the rail. There was a gasp, then dead
silence, and nothing more was heard
that night.
When the watch went off duty he of
course gave a detailed and lurid ac
count of the Incident to bis shipmates,
who listened, as be thought. In awed
silence and then called on one of the
audience for his version of the matter.
This man, a Tync-sider, who dearly
loved a joke and bad no respect at
all for hoary superstitions, bad con
spired with bis fellows to play a trick
on the watch. On the night in ques
tion he bad crept over the bows with
out a sound, carrying with him the
ship's cat secured in a bag. Crouch
ing under the stays, the joker let the
cat's head out of the bag, which be tied
round the animal's neck so that it
could not escape. lie then appUed his
teeth to the unfortunate animal's tail.
Everybody knows the fearsome sounds
an angry cat is capable of producing,
and those to which a cat whose tail Is
being bitten gives vent are among the
most hair raising. The sound was
more or less regulated by squeezing
the luckless beast's body. The mate's
bucket of water was as unwelcome 83
unexpected and caused the Tyne-sider
to beat a hurried retreat.
Not only is the origin of many sea
superstitions "wropt in mystery," but
also any logical explanation of cause
and effect. It would puzzle any one to
say why It should be unlucky for the
ship's boy to whistle on the weather
bow. except that It is generally un
pleasant from a music lover's point of
view for a boy to whistle on any bow
at nil.
On one occasion superstition and a
guilty conscience caused a practical
Joke to have fatal consequences. The
Incident arose through one of the sail
ors, a Norwegian, boxing the ears of
the ship's boy for the aforementioned
crime of whistling ou the weather bow.
Not unnaturally the boy was annoyed
and determined to pay the Norwegian
out. Aided by two other sailors, a
white shirt anil some string, a very
presentable 'ghost" was arranged In
the foc'sle ou the night the Norseman
was on watch. He was to be allowed
only a glimpse of the "spirit" on enter
ing the foc'sle, and it was then to van
ish from view, being jerked by means
of a string underneath the bunk of one
of the jokers. Everything was ready,
and the three conspirators lay In their
bunks awaiting their victim. Unfor
tunately they all fell asleep, to be sud
denly awakened by a loud cry from
the Norwegian, lie stood gazing at
the "ghost." the dim light shed by the
lamp falling on his ghastly face. The
three were about to call out to him
when he spoke. "No. no." he cried. "I
did not mean to kill you. Morgan! Oh.
mercy, mercy!" And he rushed madly
from the foc'sle. Terrified, his ship
mates followed him. but as they reach
ed the deck they saw the Norwegian
throw himself into the sea. London
Olnho
All Is Not Lion That Roars.
A negro was arrested for stealiBg
coal and employed a lawyer of loud
oratorical voice to defend him in a
justice court.
"That lawyer could roar like a Hod,"
the negro said. "I thought be was go
ing to talk that judge off the bench
and that jury out of the box. 1 gut
one continuance and hurried up to
irarn all that coal and bide the evi
dence. Then came the day of my trial.
That roarin lawyer went up and whis
pered to the judge. Then be came
back and whispered to me:
" Ton better send that coal back or
you'll eo to ialL "Kansas Cltv Star.
0
Till 1 1
41
1 0esS
ra4tt, KiacalJ C. Clttlf-
EVEN the most critical
college man cannot
but like our two button
models. They have an
elegance of tailoring and
smartness of style which
will force the attention of
anyone having any ideas
about clever style.
GREISEN BROS.
COLUMBUS, NEB.
m Dutch Fishing Fleet.
If the traveler wants to get a real
glimpse of picturesque Holland, a
glimpse which shall long be a happy
memory, let him journey to the old
fishing village of Scbeveningen. not
far from The Hague. Its fishing fleet
is an imposing one and Is best seen at
night, when the boats are drawn up on
the lieach. Each has a number, and
these are painted ou the sides In such
large figures that they can be read
at u considerable distance. At-night
when the fishermen begin to come to
laud the women of the village walk
down to the beach with their knitting
In- their hands to meet them. They
wear their wooden shoes, some of
which are made to look especially
clean by an application of whiting, and
they make a merry clatter as they go.
Industry Is characteristic of the wom
en of Holland in all walks of life.
They must always be at work of souie
kind, and it would seem as if mora
knitting needles must be used lu Hol
land than in any other country in the
world. E. J. Partington in Interior.
The Old Time English School.
Until comparatively recent times
public school boys in England bad
many hardships "to endure. As late as
1334 a writer who spoke from experi
ence said that "the Inmates of a work
house or a jail were letter fed and
lodged than the scholars of Eton."
Boys whose parents could not pay for
a private room underwent privations
that might have broken down a cabin
boy and would be thought Inhuman if
inlicted on a galley slave.
"They rose at 5, winter and sum
mer, and breakfasted four hours later,
the interval being devoted to study,
after they had swept their rooms and
made their lieds. The only washing
accommodation was a pump. The diet
consisted of an endless round of mut
ton, potatoes and beer, none of tbem
too plentiful or too good.
"To be starved." says this writer,
"frozen and flogged such was the dal
ly life of the scions of England's no
blest families."
A Losing Game.
"By having a record kept at the
cashier's desk of pay checks which
patrons fail to turn in 1 sometimes
make up my losses." said the proprie
tor o a large restaurant. "Today a
man got a check fnr ".3 cents. To the
cashier he presented one for ' cents.
The latter, ulauciug :it his missing
check card, discovered that it was one
of the listed ones. Detaining the man,
he notified uiv. After leiug confront
ed with the waiter the le:it wanted to
pay both Hiivfcs. I ordered a illce
man summoned. The man's pleading
led me to show him the list of missing
checks, which amounted to something
like $S0. saying that I didn't know but
that he was the cause of them all. He
offered to pay the lot if the matter
would be droped. and this proposition
1 accepted." New York Sun.
NORTH Theatre
SATURDAY NIGHT
We give away a Chair,
now on exhibition at Her
rick's. Choice of three articles,
now on exhibition at Grei
sen Bros.' store.
Change of program Tues
day, Thursday and Satur
day. Don't forget the Matinee,
Saturday at 2:30
MISSED A BIG CELEBRATION.
The Way the Famous Humorist In
Company With W. O. Hewells Did
Not Attend the Centennial of the
Battle ef the Minutemen at Concord.
In bis reminiscences of Mark Twain
In Harper's Magazine W. D. Howells
tells amusingly of the time when he
and Mr. Clemens missed the anniver
sary of the battle of Concord:
"Mark Twain came on to Cambridge
In April. 1875. to go with me to the
centennial ceremonies at Concord in
celebration of the battle of the minute
men with the British troops a hundred
years before. We both had special In
vitations, including passage from Bos
ton, but I said why bother to go to
Boston when we could just as w,ell
take the train for Concord at the Cam
bridge station. He equally decided
that it would be absurd, so we break
fasted deliberately and then walked to
the station, reasoning of many things,
as usual.
"When the train stopped we found
it packed inside and out Teople stood
dense on the platforms of the cars.
To our startled eyes they seemed to
project from the windows, and unless
memory betrays me they lay strewn
upon the roofs like brakemen slain at
the post of duty. We remounted the
fame worn steps of Porter's station
and began exploring North Cambridge
for some means of transportation over
land to Concord, for we were that far
on the road by which the British went
and came on the day of the battle.
The liverymen whom we appealed to
received us. some with compassion,
some with derision, but In either mood
convinced us that we could not have
hired a cat to attempt our conveyance,
much less a horse or vehicle of any
description.
"It was a raw. windy day, very un
like the exceptionally hot April day
when the routed redcoats, pursued by
the Colonials, fled panting back to Bos
ton, with their tongues hanging out
like docs. but we could not take due
comfort In the vision of their discom
fiture. We could almost envy them,
for they bad at least got to Concord.
A swift procession of coaches, car
riages and buggies, all going to Con
cord, passed us, inert and helpless, on
the sidewalk In the peculiarly cold
mud of North Cambridge. We began
to wonder If we might not stop one of
them and bribe it to take us.
"I felt keenly the shame of defeat
and the guilt of responsibility for our
failure, and when a gay party of stu
dents came toward us on the top of a
tallyho. luxuriantly empty inside, we
felt that our chance bad come and our
last chance. He said that if 1 would
stop them and tell tbem who 1 was
they would gladly, perhaps proudly,
give us passage. I contended that If
with his far vaster renown he would
approach them our success would be
assured.
"While we stood, lost in this 'contest
of civilities,' the coach passed us, with
gay notes blown from the horns of the
students, and then Clemens started in
pursuit, encouraged with shouts from
the merry party, who could not Im
agine who was trying to run them
dowu. to a rivalry of speed. The un
equal match could end only in one
way. and 1 am glad I cannot recall
what he said when he came back to
me. Since then I have often wondered
at the grief which would have wrung
those blithe young hearts if they could
have known that they might have had
the company of Mark Twain to Con
cord that day and did not.
"We hung about unavaillngly in the
bitter wind awhile longer and then
slowly, very slowly, made our way
borne. We wished to pass as much
time as possible in order to give prob
ability to the deceit we Intended to
practice, for we could not bear to own
ourselves baffled In our boasted wis
dom of taking the train at Porter's
station and had agreed to say that we
had been to Concord and got back.
Even after coming home to my house
we felt that our statement would be
wanting in verisimilitude without fur
ther delay, and we crept quietly Into
my library and made up a roaring fire
on the hearth and thawed ourselves
out In the heat of It before we regained
our courage for the undertaking. With
all these precautions we failed, for
when our statement was imparted to
the proposed victim she instantly pro
nounced it unreliable, and we were left
with it on our bands intact. I think
the humor of this situation was finally
a greater pleasure to Clemens than an
actual visit to Concord would have
been. Only a few weeks before his
death be laughed our defeat over with
one of my family hi Bermuda and ex
ulted in our prompt detection."
Friendship's Tribute.
Gladys Did you see what the so
ciety column of the Dally Bread said
about Nln Gillard the other morn
ing? "She moves with ease and grace
In our most exclusive circles." May
belle Yes, I read it. It's dead cer
tain that the editor who wrote that
had never seen her on roller skates.
Chicago Tribune.
On the Move.
Ascum Do you think it's true that
Skinner has bought a place for him
self In society? Wise Ob. no! I'll
bet he's only leased It. for he's liable
to have to skip out at a moment's no
tice. Catholic Standard and Times.
Insures Solitude.
The Man In the Chair I enjoy a quiet
smoke. The Other Well, you'll never
be troubled with crowds while you
smoke cigars of that brand! London
Opinion.
Caustic
The Girl Whafs your opinion of
women who imitate men? The Man
They're idiots. The Girl-Then the
Imitation Is successful. Cleveland
Leader.
Peevishness covers with its dark foe
even the most distant horizon. Bicn-ter.
Royal
BAKING POWDER
MAKES THE POtTEGT
HOT BISCUIT
Also Rolls and Muffins
Crusts and Cakes
Sead for Royal
TRICKY ART DEALERS.
Astute Parisian Scheme For Booming
a "New Master."
For the booming of a new artist an
astute dealer is necesary. lie catches
his artist as young as possible, prefer
ably as an exhibitor of crazy canvases
at the autumn salon of the independ
ents' exhibition, and commissions htm
to paint 100 pictures a year.
One by one. occasionally in twos and
threes, at judicious intervals the deal
er sends the pictures to the Hotel
Drouot for sale by public auction.
There be has confederates, who raise
the price at each sale, and he buys
them In himself.
After a few months the young ar
tist's canvases have a certain market
value, and the next step Is taken To
turn their painter into a modern mas
ter. The critics are attacked. One of
them Is asked to look at some daub,
and when he cries out with horror the
dealer says:
"What? You don't like it? Take It
home with you as a favor to me. live
with It six months and then"
In due course an art amateur calls
upon the critic and cannot contain his
admiration for the new artist's pic
ture. "What a masterpiece! The most
modern thing in art I have seen for a
long timer he exclaims.
Doubt begins to Invade the critic's
mind, and when one or two more en
thusiastic amateurs have visited him
he Is worked up to writing a column
of panegyric on the new master. The
amateurs are, of course, sent by the
dealer.
One or two articles and the boom is
In full swing. Wealthy and simple
minded collectors, remembering how
other painters have been decried in
their early days and how their work"
later have commanded fancy prices,
rush In.
The new master makes about 10 per
cent of the profit and the dealer tin
other 90 ier cent. The new master is
at the mercy of the dealer. If he
grumbies the dealer floods the auction
rooms with a hundred or so of his
masterpieces and orders his agents not
to bid. the result being that the can
vases sell at rubbish prices, and the
boom is burst. Gil Bias.
LONDON" THEATERS.
They Charge Frem a Penny to Six
pence For a Bill of the Play.
At the London theaters when the
young woman shows you to a seat she
asks If yon wish a program. If you
do yon pay sixpence In tho orchestra
or dress circle for a program hand
somely printed on tine paper. The
price ranges down through "thrlp
pence, and "tuppence" as the galler
ies ascend to a penny In the cockloft
The quality of paper and the general
artistic merit of the program decline
with the price, but exactly the same
information is conveyed for a penny
as for sixpence. The fastidious thea
ter goer might prefer to pay a dime for
a neat and simple program rather than
to have a bulky bunch of advertise
ments gratis, as in New York, but
these London programs, although not
so thick as those of New York, are not
devoid of advertisements. This gives
the purchaser the feeling that he is be
ing worked at both ends. A lady re
minds me. however, that a program In
a New York theater costs her 10 cents,
as the smeary printing rubs off on her
white gloves, the cleaning of which
costs a dime.
The quality of the performance at
the better London theaters certainly
averages no higher than that at simi
lar theaters In New York. The music
balls are the resort of the great mid
dle class. These are great auditori
ums with tier on tier of galleries, the
seating capacity ranging perhaps from
3,000 to 5,000. London Letter In New
York Sun.
The Roman Tribune.
The tribunes in ancient Rome repre
sented the people In much the same
way that the bouse of commons does
In England and the house of repre
sentatives in this country. For a long
time the patricians or aristocrats of
Rome had everything their own way.
But when the plebeians (or, as we
would say, the "plain people") got their
tribune the reckless tyranny of the
patricians ceased. The tribune had
great power, ne could veto almost
any act and nullify almost any law
passed by the Romans. Liberty among
the Romans dates from the time they
trst secured their tribunes. New Yerk
tmerkan.
135
New York
::
QUEER WEDDING GIFTS.
One Couple ef Mature Years Received
a Pair ef Coffins.
An Englishman extremely fond of
bunting received as a wedding gift
from an anonymous" person a complete
set of fals.' limbs a set of artificial
teeth and a couple of glass eyes, to
procure nil of which the sarcastic
donor must, of course, have put him
self to considerable expeuse. Accom
panying these strange presents was a
note wherein the hope was expressed
that, by reason of the recipient's many
falls while following the hounds, some
or all of these substitutes might ulti
mately prove of use. As the bride
groom bad Incurred much enmity while
holding office uuder bis government, it
was supiosed that these gifts came
from a disappointed office seeker.
A well known American writer re
ceived from a rival man of letters a
oaiii Iirtiit? ivlitnln icprn cartftltlv
pasted and Indexed many hundreds ofxx.
clippings containing adverse criticisms
touching the former's work, and a
popular artist was presented with a set
of elementary works upon self instruc
tion in drawing and painting.
Some years ago In the west an elder
ly, crusty merchant on espousing a
spinster of mature age was presented
by an undertaker with two coffins for
himself and wife, a letter which ac
companied these ghastly gifts stating
that they would, unlike most of the
other offerings received, be sure to be
of service. Naturally enough the
bridegroom resented tbls singular If
useful gift, and it took all the efforts
of mutual friends to prevent a breach
of the peace.
Like vexation was no doubt felt by
an Infirm octogenarian in Ohio who
wedded a pleasure loving woman more
than fifty years his junior. The pres
ent In this case was a largo brass cage.
Intended." so the inevitable accom
panying letter stated, "to restrain the
wayward flights of a giddy young wife
who has married a decrepit old fool
for his mouey." Chicago Record-Herald.
J
Net a Waxwork.
The opening of the courts In an as
size town in England is always a great
day for the residents. The procession
to the church, where the judge say
: a prayers and listens to a homily.
the march to the court, with the at
tendant javelin men and the braying
of Tarapets the men In wigs and
gow-s fill the rustic mind with the
sense of awe and the majesty of Jus
tice. It is related In Mr. Thomas Ed
ward Crispe's book. "Reminiscences
of a K. C" that a farmer onco took
his son Into the crown court.
On the bench was the Baron Cleasby.
gorgeous In scarlet and ermine, statu
esque and motionless. The yokel gazed
with open inoutb at the resplendent
figure n the raised dais. Suddenly
the baron moved bis hand from right
to left and left to right.
"Why. feytner." said the boy, "it's
atolve."'
A Friend In Need.
Algie-1 nay. Fred, you're-aw-a
fwiend of mine, aren't you?
Fred Sure.
Algie-Theu be a good fellow and
aw help me out. I'd like to have that
pwetty cousin of youahs learn all
aboat my aw good points, doucber
know.
Fred I am belDins you. old chap. I
argued with ber for two hours yester
day trying to convince her that .vu
weren't as big a fool as you look. -Chicago
News.
Very Thorough.
New York's collector of customs
was talking about smuggling.
"Smuggling must cease." he said
"We'll make it cease, if we have to be
as strict and thorough as the French
customs officer. This strict officer.
standing on the pier, frowned on a
tourist with a swollen cheek.
"What have you got there?' he said.
pointing to the swelling.
44 'An abscess, sir.' was the reply.
' 'Well.' said the officer impatiently.
open it, please.' "Washington Star.
conclusive.
Briggs It's too bad about Winkle
and the girl he Is engaged to. Neither
of them is good enough for the other
Griggs What makes you think that?
"Well, I've been talking tho matter
over with both families." Life.
It Is useless to attempt to reason a
man out of a thing be was never rea
soned Into. Swift.