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Wednesday, September 7
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THE SQUAW MAN
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MEMORIES OF MARK TWAIN.
Two Letters the Humorist Wrote
to
Henry Watterson.
"Mark Twain An Intimate Mem
ory," is ihe title of nenry Wntterson's
article about tils cousin ns it appears
In the American Magazine. Mr. Wat
terson recites the following Incident aa
being typical of Mark Twain's whim
sical point of view:
"Ills mind turned ever to the droll.
Once in London I was living with my
family at 103 Mount street. Between
103 and 102 there was the parochial
workhouse quite n long and imposing
building. One evening, upon coming
In from an outing. I found a letter he
bad written on the sitting room table
and left with ids card. lie spoke of
the shock he had received upon find
ing that next to 102 presumably 103
was the workhouse. lie bad loved me.
but bad always feared that I would
end by disgracing the family be
ing hanged, or something but the
work'us,' that was beyond him; he
bad not thought it would come to that
And so on through pages of horseplay,
bis relief on ascertaining the truth
and learning his mistake, bis regret
at not finding me nt home, closing
with n dinner invitation. Once at Ge
nevn. in Switzerland, I received a long,
overflowing letter, full of buoyant odd
ities, written from London. Two or
three hours later came a telegram:
'Burn letter. Blot it from your mem
ory. Susie Is dead.' "
Susie was Mrs. Clemens.
TURKISH WOMEN.
They Are Curiously Fastidious
In
Some of Their Ways.
The habits of" the Turkish women of
Constantinople are wonderfully fastidi
ous. For Instance, when they wash
their hands at a tap from which water
runs into a marble basin the fair ones
will let the water run until a servant
shuts it off. inasmuch as to do this
themselves would render them "an
door, as the handle would be unclean.
One of these fastidious women was
not long ago talking to a small niece
who had Just received a present of a
doll from Paris. By and by the child
laid the doll In the lady's lap. Sua
was horrified and ordered the child to
taku it away. As the little girl would
not move It and no servant was near
and the lady would be defiled by touch
ing a doll that bad been brought from
abroad, the only resource left her was
to jump up and let the doll fall. It
broke in pieces.
Another Turkish woman would not
open a letter coming by post, but re
quired a servant to break the seal and
hold the missive near her that it might
be read; also should her handkerchief
fall to the ground It was immediately
destroyed or given away, so that she
might not again use it Exchange.
A Leading Citizen.
"Didn't you tell me Faro Joe was
one of the leading citizens of Crimson
Gulchr
"Well." answered Broncho Bob. "he
was. When he left town he led the
vigilance committee by a quarter of
a mile clean to the next county."
Washington Star.
Didn't Mean It That Way.
Willie I say. ma, if dad was to die
would he go to heaven? Ma Hush,
Wflllel Who's been putting such ri
diculous thoughts into your head!
London Opinion.
One today is worth two tomorrowa.
-Franklin.
Milton Roylc.
NEW GUINEA PYGMIES.
The Spear and Bow and Poisoned Ar
rows Their Chief Weapons.
Our kuowledge of the pygmies of
New Guinea shows that in habit they
are nomadic, nowhere tilling the
ground, but depending for their living
entirely on their skill in bunting and
fishing. Their chief weapon is the
bow. tbeir arrows being generally
J poisoned cither with the famous upas
or some other similar vegetable poison,
in some cases a species of strychnine.
They also mako use of the spear and
an ingenious form of spring gun
which is common to numerous other
forest tribes. This Is formed by set
ting a flattened bamboo spear attached
to a bent sapling, which is fastened to
a trigger in such a way that it Is re
leased by the passerby stumbling
against an invisible string stretched
across a game track. These spears are
really set for game, and to the initi
ated they are obvious enough, as their
presence Is always indicated by cer
tain well known signs, such as a
broken off twig placed In a cleft stick.
In war these signs are removed, the
removal being equivalent to the mov
ing of buoys in a mined channel The
wounds inflicted by these hardened
bamboo spears are necessarily serious.
The mental qualities of the Negritos
are extremely undeveloped, none of
them being able to express a higher
numerical idea than three, but all ob
servers who "have met them unite in
saying that they arc a merry little peo
ple, with great Ideas of hospitality
when their confidence has bee gained
and provided they have not been pre
viously ill treated. They are not can
nibals and arc generally monogamous.
London Times.
LIGHTNING FLASHES.
Many Things Concerning Them That
Science Cannot Fathom.
A young girl In charge of two chil
dren, sheltering under a tree onChlsle
hcrst common, was struck by light
ning and killed one of those dreadful
Instances of the sort of personal touch
with which lightning seems to select
its victim, for. though one child Is re
ported to have been thrown down, nei
ther apparently was Injured. There
are many instances, of course, of this
strange selection, due in most cases
probably to some accident of clothing.
There Is a well remembered case which
happened some years ago at Cam
bridge, when three young men were
walking across an open space of
ground, and the middle one of the
three was struck dead, while the oth
ers were untouched. The inquest
showed that the young man who was
killed had nails in his boots, whereas
the others were wearing boating shoes.
The phenomena of thunderstorms
have been the subject of much study
in America. But if thunderstorms can
be classified, they are still not thor
oughly understood. We do not yet
know what are the exact conditions
which lead to a discharge of electricity
In the form of a lightning flash from
cloud to cloud or from cloud to earth.
We cannot reproduce thunder and
lightning in a laboratory. We do not
know what is the origin of the elec
trification manifested in a storm.
London Spectator.
Knew the Outcome.
Sympathetic Father Parted from
Harry forever, have yon? Well, per
haps It's just as well not to see each
other for a day or two. Life.
A sunny temper gilds the edges)
life's blackest cloud. Guthrie.
-
HUMAN SACRIFICE. "
It Appear ta Be an Ordinary Oeeur
ran In Liberia.
Of certain aspects of Liberia Cap
tain Bralthwaite Wallis writes In the
Geographical Journal: "The popula
tion of Jane Is large, almost untouched
by the so called civilization on the
coast It Is typical of western Africa.
The men have fine physiques and very
black skins, and most of them plait
then hair, which Is worn about six
Inches to eight Inches long. They ap
peared to be well armed with rifles,
guns, spears and swords. While In
this town I saw even slaves, who were
held by the leg in wooden stocks.
They had been In that position for
some months. One of them told me
through the Interpreter that he had
been kept thus for two years. He was
a man of poor physique, and a pur
chaser could not therefore be easily
found for him.
"That night, while asleep in my
little hut in the town, I was awakened
by hearing a gentle chorus of wom
en's voices singing some yards away.
After a few minutes the chorus ceased
and a single voice began. In Bande,
an African song. The voice was soft
and melodious, and the tune was fas
cinating and weird and harmonized
with the wild environment to which
it belonged. After a few lines the
other singers joined, and the result
. ! M --- "t
wiu niusi. uiirmjuve uuu uvauuiiu,
containing as it did such delicate har
mony with excellent taste. During
the years I have been In Africa I do
not remember having heard anything
quite like this singing before, and I
shall never forget It The interpreter
told me the next morning that the
song was to the good spirits, asking
them to guard and protect the white
man and his followers on their jour
ney." Another Incident: "A few yards out
side the first stockade I noticed an
empty grave, the newly turned earth
of which showed it had been recently
dug. This grave, it appeared, had
been used for the purpose of burying
a man alive as a sacrifice, and I was
informed In a most matter of fact
way and as If the occurrence was
quite an ordinary one that the un
fortunate victim's body had lately
been exhumed to obtain certain por
tions for the purpose of manufactur
ing fetish medicines."
THE LION'S HEAD.
Origin of Its Use as a Decoration Fer
Fountains.
"The sun glows in the Lion," says
Seneca, meaning that when the sun
enters the sign of Leo at the summer
solstice the highest temperature of the
year is experienced. We may say, on
the other hand, that the Babylonian
astrologers thousands of years ago
placed the king of beasts, the fiery and
ferocious lion. In that part of the zo
diac which the sun enters at the sum
mer solstice.
The constellation whlch.ls called Leo
bears very little resemblance to the
outline of a lion. Probably the name
was originally applied only to its prin
cipal star, Regains. It Is to this con
stellation in the zodiac that we owe
the countless water spewing lions'
heads which are found in ancient and
modern fountains, because in the latter
part of July, while the sun Is still In
the sign of Leo. tbeiKHe Is at its high
est level.
Furthermore, the lion's head with
widely open jaws Istln Itself very suit
able for the mouth." of a fountain or
waterspout. This decorative motif was
employed universally throughout the
Greco-Roman world. Lions' heads are
found used in this way at Athens, Ephe
sus. Olympia, Agrigentum and count
less other places. It Is not quite cer
tain that this employment of the lion's
head originated in Egypt. Curtius de
scribes an Assyrian bas-relief from
Balran showing water-streaming from
a ring shaped vessel. A lion stands as
If on guard on eltberslde of the foun
tain. The water clock, which was used in
judicial proceedings, had the form of a
Hon and a name which means the
guardian of the stream. Hence the
idea of protection may have been the
origin of the association of lions with
fountains, and this custom may have
originated in Asia. Scientific Ameri
can. The Rival Roses.
Perhaps the two most famous flow
ers in history arc associated with the
Temple gardens, for, according to tra
dition, it was in the gardens In 1430
that the two leaders plucked the red
and white roses which became the
badges of the rival houses of Lancas
ter and York. The gardens were for
centuries famous for their roses.
Among their floral curiosities one finds
in the accounts for 1700 an expendi
ture on two pcrlmlc box trees and won
ders what a perimlc tree is until one
remembers the custom of trimming
box trees In a symmetrical or "perl
metric" fashion. London Chronicle.
Beginning at the Foundation.
The progressive people of the parish
were anxious to reconstruct and adorn
the ancient church, and the senior
warden wrote to the bishop about it
"There are but two things to be done
In St Gregory's," wrote the bishop fa
reply. "Let the sexton keep It clean
and the parson keep It fulL" Youth's
Companion.
When France Washed In Holland.
In the sixteenth century clothes were
sent from all parts of France to be
washed in Ilolland. where the water
of the canals was supposed to bare
special cleansing properties. The cost
of transport was about ten times great
er in those days than at present
Plump Bird:.
She (after the service) You dreadfH
fellow! Why did you smile during tb
offertory? He I couldn't help
There was Miss Addle Pose sin- -"Had
I the wings of a dove." t'l
mental picture of a 200 pounder trying
to fly with a pair of four inch wing
was too much for me.
In MAtumia
"How did yon enjoy her bohemian. I
.FAnlnirV fl
b nssu l. iuuuj. ovui II HI nm,UllP I
and the sandwiches were stale." i
.Washington Herald. , j
Mf. .. m....!. D-.l. .1 I
SPECIAL
Price Sale
I have recently pur
chased the Notion store of
W. E. Rohrich, on Eleventh
street (Seth Braun's old
stand) and in order to
clean up our stock we will
make special prices on all
Queensware
Glassware
Notions
Tinware, etc.
Until
September 10th
D. H. CIPE
Tickling the Debtors.
John Barrett was only twenty-seven
years old when President Cleveland
appointed him minister to Slam. The
first Important task which confronted
the youthful envoy was to press a
claim against the Siamese government
for $1,000,000. Experienced ambassa
dors warned him against using threats
In obtaining the money. "Be cunning;
avoid arrogance," they said.
"That Is." responded Mr. Barrett,
"you favor tickling with a straw to
pricking with a bayonet"
The statesmen nodded assent
When the young minister bad finally
succeeded In collecting the claim-the
ambassadors asked In astonishment
"How did you accomplish It?"
"By tickling," explained Barrett "I
had to tickle them almost to death,
though, before they agreed to pay it"
London's Town Hall.
The guildhall is an Important public
building in London, which may be re
garded as the town hall, and Is the
place of assembly of several courts, as
the court of common council, the court
of aldermen, the chamberlain's court
and a police court presided over by one
of the aldermen. The construction of
the building was begun In 1411. It
was partially destroyed in the great
fire of 1GG0. butiwas soon restored, and
in 17S9 It was -altered to Its present
form. The hall proper Is 153 feet in
length. 48 in breadth and 55 In height
It has been famous for centuries for
the magnificence of Its civic feasts.
The first time it was used for this
purpose was in 1500. when Sir John
Shaw, goldsmith, who bad been
knighted on the field of Boswortb, first
gave here the lord mayor's feast
uatea and Savings Banks.
Though Duncan of Duthwell was the
founder of our first savings bank, the
first suggestion came from Daniel De
foe. When he found himself compelled
to hide from the bailiffs in a small
Bristol Inn he turned his enforced
leisure and financial failure to account
by writing the "Essay on Projects." it
deals with savings banks, friendly so
cieties. Insurance, academies and bank
rupts. On all these subjects Defoe of
fers from his fertile brain suggestions
that startle the reader by their modern
ring. On bankrupts and savings banks
Defoe naturally wrote with feeling.
During his stay in Bristol be was
known as "the Sunday gentleman."
owing to his natural unwillingness to
take the air except on that day of the
week which deprived bailiffs of their
sting. London Chronicle.
A Cup of Sugar.
A large china cup with a handle was
shoved across the counter and a child's
voice said. "Ma wants a cupful of
sugar." 4
The grocer filled the cup, weighed
the sugar, poured it back into the cup
and said. "Two cents."
To a customer .who expressed sur
prise at his 'willingness to sell grocer
ies In such small quantities he said:
"Have to ituthis neighborhood. Most
of these people live from meal to meal,
which means that tbey buy things by
measure Instead of weight Reckoned
by the cupful, the spoonful or the pail
ful, tbey kbov just how much of any
thing tbey need. In order to satisfy
both customers and the Inspector of
weights and measures we measure
first to suit the trade, then weigh after
ward." New York Sun.
Wis Trick.
A pearl belonging to her brooch had
got fastened In the lace of her collar
ne offered to disentangle It
"That's a great trick of mine." be
said as be wrestled with It "Separat
ing pearls from"
"People?" she interrupted in a fright
"No," said; he; "from laces." Ne
York Press.
Quaint Remedies.
Among the members of the Greek
church in Macedonia the following
recipes are regarded as highly useful:
To pacify one's enemies write the
psalm -Koown In Judea." dissolve It
In water and give your enemy to drink
thereof, and be will be pacified. For a
startled and frightened man take three
dry chestnuts and sow thistle and
three glasses of old wine -and let blm
drink thereof early and late. Write
also "In the beginning was the word"
and let blm carry it
For one who can stand prosperity
there are a hundred that will stand ad-Tersity.-Carlyle.
THE KING'S WATCH.
A Napoleonic Gift That Embarrassed
Jerome Banaparto.
Previous to bis elevation to the sov
ereignty Jeiome Bonaparte had formed
a friendship with some young authors
at that time In vogue for their wit and
reckless gayety. On the evening after
his nomination to the crown of West
phalia he met two of his jovial com
panions just as be was leaving the
theater. "My dear fellows." said he,
"I am delighted to see you. I suppose
you know that I have been created
king of Westphalia?' "Yes. fire, and
permit us to be among the first"
"Eh, what? You are ceremonious, me
thinks. That might pass were I sur
rounded by my court, but at present
away with form and let us be off to
supper."
Upon this Jerome took bis friends to
one of the best restaurants In the
Palais Royal. The three chatted and
laughed and said and did a thousand
of tboso foolish things which when un
premeditated are so delightful. It may
be supposed that the conversation was
not kept up without drinking. When
the wine they had drunk began to take
effect, "My good friends." said Jerome,
"why should we quit each other? If
you approve of my proposal you shall
accompany me. You, C, shall be my
secretary. As for you. P., who are
fond of books, I appoint you my libra
rian." The arrangement was accept
ed and ratified over a fresh bottle of
champagne.
At length the party began to think
of leaving and accordingly called for
the bill. Jerome produced his purse,
but the king of Westphalia could only
find 2 louts, which formed but a small
portion of 200 francs, the amount of
the bllL The new dignitaries by club
bing their wealth coujd only muster
about 3 francs.
What was to be done? At 1 o'clock
In the morning where could resources
be found? They determined to send
for the master of the house and ac
quaint blm how matters stood. He
seemed to take the frolic In good part
and merely requested to know their
names, naving told him, the restau
rateur set his customers down as
sharpers and threatened to send for
the commissary of police. This alarm-
ed Jerome, who, seeing that the res
taurateur doubted them, handed over
his watch In payment This watch
had been a present from Napoleon, and
on the back was the emperor's cipher
in brilliants.
On examining the watch the restau
rateur concluded that It had been
stolen and took It to the commissary
of police. The latter, recognizing the
Imperial cipher, ran with it to the pre
fect The prefect flew to the minister
of the interior, and be In turn went to
the emperor at St Cloud. Next morn
ing the Moniteur contained an ordi
nance in which Jerome was ordered to
Westphalia at once and prohibited
from conferring any appointments till
his arrival at his capital. T. P.'s Lon
don Weekly.
MIND YOUR TEETH.
The Value of Keeping the Mouth and
Gums Perfectly Clean.
A man is known by the teeth he
keeps. The worst thing that can hap
pen to our teeth Is for them not to
have enough to do. It Is the worst
thing that can happen to us also. Spir
itualized and cultured as we have be
come, we still fight the battle of life
with our teeth, though we no longer
chew our enemies' ears or throats.
Bone cored, enamel coated and rock
ribbed as the bills, our teeth are
more absolutely under our control than
almost any other structure of the body.
Neglect them and they decay at once.
Give them proper attention and they
will go on repairing themselves for
forty, fifty, sixty years.
Give children plenty of roughening
food to chew, and they will get the
pearly vigor of the savage tooth with
the endurance of the Caucasian's.
Above all, the food should be of such
a character as to give exercise and
massage to the gums. Part of this can
be given by plenty of coarse food in
addition to real food not as a substi
tute for it and part by Intentional and
vigorous friction with the toothbrush.
To brush the gums well Is half the
value of brushing the teeth.
Keep the mouth and gums strictly
clean, and the teeth will take care of
themselves. There are thirty-three dis
tinct named and labeled sorts of bacilli
or bugs in our mouths as normal parlor
boarders, but they'll behave with per
fect propriety unless you give them
carrion to get drunk on. Dr. Woods
Hutchinson in Survey.
Bill Lang' Long Hit
In an article on "Batting" in the
American Magazine Hugh S. Fuller
ton describes as follows the longest hit
ever recorded:
"Lange, who was of the middle ages
f the game, made a bit in Cincinnati
which Is regarded by many as the
longest hit ever made. The ball clear
ed the center field fence, which was
on top of a high embankment, sailed
across Western avenue, went through
the window of a saloon and was
found behind the bar. The hit made
a fortune for the saloon, as big crowds
went to see the ball on exhibition."
Knew What He Was Doing.
Booky (from whom old gent has just
received 5 sovereigns at 4 to 1)
Now. then. Santa Claus, what are you
biting 'em for? Do you think I'd give
you wrong uns? Old Gent Noa. lad
dy. It's no that: I'm just making sure
that I haven't got that one back which
I passed off on thee! London Punch.
A Poultry Fable.
The ben returned to her nest and
Jbund It empty.
"Very funny." said she; "Lean never
And things where 1 lay them." Lippln
ott's. Domestic Economy.
"My wife threatened if I didn't get
ler a new hat she'd go home to her
mother."
"Why didn't you let her?"
"Her railroad fare would cost more
than the hat" Boston Transcript
Bright Bay.
In school the other day a young lad
was asked what he would rather be
whenaegrawap. "A stockaokler," ha
xeplkd.-ATionait
Pioneer Crude Oil Burner Company
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We are putting in burners every
day, and our patrons are more
than pleased with them.
We are furnishing our patrons a
60 gallon oil tank at a nominal
cost so they can have a supply of
oil on hand.
AK-SAR-BEN
CARNIVAL AND PARADES
OMAHA
Sept. 28th to Oct, 8th. 1910
THE BM JOLLY CARNIVAL EVERY BAY
Ht
rt.4
ABMVAL
tttfi
6niv MUifery MuNiers Every
SHOW YOURSELF A ROOD TINE-YOVLL HAVE LBTS OF HELP
A MARY ANDERSON POSE.
Falling Robe That Resulted In a Most
Graceful Attitude.
Harry Furnlss tells a story of Mary
Anderson's Initial season In London.
"Her first appearance was as Perdlta,"
be says In the Strand Magazine, "and
I thought her the most charming fig
ure I had ever seen on the stage.
"She kindly posed for me after a
performance at the Lyceum, and when
she asked roe the position I would like
her to take I mentioned one she had
assumed In the second act. in which
she stood holding the drapery in her
hand, which was resting on her hip.
Do you really mean that?' she asked.
'Yes; that attitude struck me as the
most artistic of ail your graceful move
ments.' 'Well. she said, 'as a matter
of fact, my robes bad come unfastened
and were falling off, and I was holding
them on. but I shall now purposely
make them slip in the same way.
And that pose was repeated nightly
during the run of the play.
"On the first night at the Lyceum
she was moved In the great scene by
the rough, picturesque lover, played
on that occasion by handsome Jack
Barnes. As she rose to her feet it was
perceived, to the delight of us all. but
to the discomfiture of the actors, that
Mr. Barnes wig had caught In the
shoulder clasp of Perdlta and rose
from his head with her and further
more refused to be detached for some
time.
"Even this popular actress could not
escape the chaff of the gods. She was
playing Galatea in Sir W. S. Gil
bert's play and a charming Galatea
she made when. In the critical scene
in which she appeals to the gods to
enable her to bring Pygmalion ana
Cynlsca together again, the actress
held up her arms and, unconsciously
looking up nt the gallery, cried out:
" The gods will help me!'
"To Miss Anderson's surprise, all the
occupants of the gallery, as if by pre
arrangement. called out with one voice,
We Willi"'
The Miserable Villain.
Low Comedian After all these years
Eggbert has at last succeeded in mak
ing a hit with the audience.
Soubrette So? How does he do it?
Low Comedian You know be has
always played villain roles.
Soubrette Yes.
Low Comedian Well, In the last act
of a new play tho author allows him
to repent and say, "I've been a miser
able villain." That confession in
variably brings down tho house. Bos
ton Post. t
ne unose uuicKly.
"Gerald." she said, facing him with,
heightened color and putting her bands
behind her. "you will have to choose
between me and your old pipe."
Not an instant did Gerald hesitate
"The old pipe goes, dear," he said,
throwing it away. "I was thinking of
buying a new one anyhow." Chicago
Tribune.
ffsEW. 5a9' lajfll
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ULI
Day ey I. S. I&filar Treee.
PROMOTED THE COOK.
An Error Made Him a Professor ef
History In Russia. .
Some years ago the minister of edu
cation In St. Petersburg was appealed
to by telegraph for a cook, to be hur
ried to Moscow. The operator got his
dashes and dots mixed, but by next
train a man arrived and was ceremoni
ously conducted to the university,
where he was Introduced to the assem
bled faculty and students as the new
professor In history.
The unhappy fellow protested that,
while he might Im a professor of pots
and pans, he knew nothing about his-
tory. But in Russian official life It Is V
harder far to correct an Terror than to
make one, so for several years the cook
has held his professorship, though no
one attends his lectures.
Another laughable story comes from
the Suwalky school for boys. A door
keeper there who could scarcely read
or write had grown so untidy and
slow that be was no longer useful, but
as the headmaster did not want to set
him adrift be promoted him to a teach
er's post and bad him transferred to u
distant school. He. too, will be a pro
fessor some day. Moscow Letter In
New York World.
Didn't Want It Flattened.
This story is told of Jerome K. Je
rome, the humorist Returning from
abroad onetime, befell Into good Com
pany, with the exception of one man.
who was what is known as "a walking
encyclopedia." This man persisted in
giving all sorts of information, much
to the annoyance of Mr. Jerome and
others. One morning, as the travelers
leaned over the rail, admiring the ris
ing sun, the man with the information
i turned to them and said almost sol-
menly:
"Gentlemen. If the earth were flat
tened out the sea would be two miles
deep over the whole world."
Mr. Jerome turned around, seeming
ly stunned. Then he grew Indignant,
and, walking over to the other man.
he said, shaking his finger menacingly:
"Look here. man. if you catch any
fellow trying to flatten out the earth
shoot blm on the spot I can't swim."
Philadelphia Times.
A Safe Lad.
"I hear Lero Boggs Sundayed with
ye, deacon?"
"Ya'as."
"Goin to lose ycr darter, eh?"
"I reckon, but not to Lcm. Zeb Uiggs
Mondnyed. Tuesdayed. Wcdncsdayed
and Thursdayed with us. 1 Judge Zeb
is the lucky man.-Succcss Macazhi.-.
No Danger of That.
Mrs. Stunbs John, no true n:nn will
smoke up his wife's ciirtalr.. Mr.
Stubbs 1 should say not Anybody
that smokes curtains would be a freak.
I prefer cigars.-Chicago No.-s.
Those who can command rhemaalves
command others. naalltt
S- - .a
