The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, August 10, 1910, Image 8
-f3tli ii i i a mx 0JgCJ.i fmX '! LT IfKflawnayi -a-l III- in mil. , ssncsannenwaaMntMi IPSE mi fLI NCOLNl mff, THE STATE'S BEST PRODUCTS lj IT WRIGHT BROS. AEROPLANE T II IN DAILY FLIGHTS f 1 LOMBARDO SYMPHONY BAND If IK AND OPERA CONCERT COMPANY gfi AM GREAT RACES - PATTERSON SHOWS If 1 MM BASE BALL Fl REWORKS W HW NIOHT RACES-VAUDEVILLE jaAI A NOBLE RED MAN. Ho Was Not the Stately Chief Wolse ley Expected to Meet. Lord Wolseley was stationed in Can ada man- j-ears ago. On one occasion be spent a holiday in the wilds, build ing a-vigwani and practicing general ly what we should now call the "hack lo nature" cure. It was soon after his arrival in the country, and as the means of commu nication were still somewhat primi tive he had never seen an Indian and was most anxious to make the red ni;ii(V acquaintance. Some friends of his promised lo send one or two to see him. sis there was an encampment not very far away. At last one morning Lord Wolseley was informed that a chief had called to see him. With his mind full of the conventional Indian, a man of com manding presence, arrayed in all the glory of paint and feathers, he eagerly stepped outside his wigwam to make his acquaintance. But he received a rude shock when he found a wizened gentleman dressed in a tattered frock coat and ancient waistcoat. However, the general stilled his as tonishment and played the genial host, although horribly bored at the inces sant chatter of the Indian, who had been in the service of the Hudson Bay company and therefore could speak broken English fairly fluently. At length, anxious to get rid of his visitor, he took a twenty-five cent piece out. of his pocket and, fearing he might be grossly insulting his visitor, presented it to him. The latter took It, looked at it care fully, felt the edges and then said: "Can you mak it half dollar?' THE WET RAIN. There Are Several Varieties, and Have Their Whims. Rain is principally composed All of water, but it should not he confused with mining stock. Rain always comes on Sunday after noons and wash days. Wash day may be changed to any day In the week, systematically or indis criminately, but the rain will come. Sunday afternoon, however, cannot be' changed to any other afternoon. Tie rain will hold off until you are ready to go driving, and then the word will be passed along the mysterious currents of the air. and a double order of cirrus and cumulus will be hurried in from the west. Also in the morning, when you leave home and carry your umbrella and raincoat, the rain will go away and sulk. But if you take heart of the fair sky and leave the umbrella and other trimmings, then the rain will wait until you leave the office and then get you. Incidentally it will tuck a few grip and rheumatism germs into your system. Haiti is good for the crops, but why it takes you for a crop is hard to un derstand. Kaiu never brought fame to any one except Noah. Probably on the day the flood begau he watched the last picnic party drive out of town in a bus. shout ing sarcastic things at him through the dust. There are several varieties of rain, but the one most popular with the weather bureau is called "Probably." Chicago News. A Great Assistance. "Good morning!" greeted the young man in the threadbare suit. Tbe millionaire turned around in his plush chair. "Er I think you have the advantage of me. young man." he said distantly. "Why, dou't you remember me. sir? J am broke. Two years ago you told Tne if I ever went broke to come around and see you." j ri.rt mtiiinnni. i . i . auc luiwiuuuiit: ueamu-u a uenevoienc smile. "So I did. my son; so I did. Here is the envelope all ready for you." The young man took the bulky en velope, and his spirits rose like the mercury on a July day. "Ah, a little assistance. I suppose?" , "No; a great assistance. It is a valu able little pamphlet I wrote during my spare time entitled 'How to Be Broke and Happy.' "Chicago News. Persian Shawls, "shal" of lierman whence our shawl" Is made of goats' hair. j word Like the carpets, the shawl patterns are learned by heart, and the work is even finer. Children also do this work. it is estimated that Herman turns out $300,000 worth of shawls, handmade. a year. The finest product is a fir cone pattern, a rich color effect, made espe cially for the governor of the province, who wears it as a robe of honor on the Persian New Year's day. He Got Her. "Its so long since you called upon me," said the girl as she came down to tbe young man In the parlor, "that I waa baginnlag to think you- were for getting me." "I am for getting you," replied the smart youth, "and that's why I've called tonight. Can I have you?' AN ANGRY MUSICIAN. Amusing and Pathetic Story of Con stant's Picture, "Too Late!" An amusing and pathetic story Is told of Benjamin Constant's first pic ture to attract attention. It was called "Too Late" and represented Fortune and Glory visiting an artist just as he bad breathed bis last. The artist was lying on the bed. The figure of Death stood near the door through which Fortune, carrying a box of money, and Glory, bearing laurels, bad just en tered. The artist received many letters from those who bad seen the painting. One was written by a professor of mu sic, an old man. who expressed in touching words the emotion be bad felt at the sight of the artist's work. IIo asked Constant to visit and talk to him about "Too Late." The invitation was accepted, but as soon as the od professor saw the art ist he uttered an ejaculation of sur prise and anger. "Why. you are quite a youth!" he exclaimed. "I thought you were old and. like myself, bad spent your life in vain endeavor to ob tain recognition of your abilities. I conceived that picture to be tbe last despairing cry of a man as unfortu nate as 1 am. I find you are quite young and your eyes are full of hope. You are a humbug, sir. and I request that you leave this bouse immediate ly!" TRUE STANDARDS OF LIFE. The Measure of a Man Is What Ho Is, Not What Ha Has. It takes so long to learn bow to live. so long to get even u glimmering of what life is for and what we ought to do with ours. We are so prone to live in tbe future, to fret ourselves about it. We are so busy yearning for the joys we imagine other people have and worrying about the trouble we imagine we are having that we make of tbe present, tbe one thing we are sure of. an endless regret. And of all tbe follies tbe limit is to permit some one else to make our standards for us. Haven't we Intelli gence? Can't we think for ourselves? To want things we don't need, many we do not really care for, just because some one else has them and wouldn't understand if we didn't have them! To struggle and strain to make a show when all tbe neighbors know it is only a show and would respect us a heap more if we bad tbe courage to be our selves! Death's standards ought to be life's standards. Death does not ask how big a house we bail from, nor how many university degrees we have won, nor what is our bank account. Not what we have nor what we know, but what we are. And that's our measure of everybody but ourselves. Erman J. Ridgway in Delineator. A Riddle Making Epoch. There have been epochs at which rid dle making lias been more especially in vogue, and such epochs would ap pear to occur at seasons of fresh In tellectual awakening. Such on epoch there was at the first glimmering of new intellectual licht In the second half of the seventh century. This was the age of Aldheim. bishop of Sher borne, the first in the roll of Anglo Latin poets. He left a considerable number of enigmas in Latin hexame ters. Aldheim died in 1709. Before his time there was a collection of Lat in riddles that bore tbe name of Sym phosius. Of this work the date Is un known. We only know that Aldheim used it. and we may infer that It was then a recent product. The riddles of Sympbosius were uniform in shape, consisting each of three hexameter lines. Cornhill Magazine. Chaldean Tablets. The clay tablets of Chaldea. prob ably the very earliest writing mate rials used by man. were of different sizes, the largest being flat and meas uring 9 by inches, while tbe small est were slightly convex and In some cases not more than an Inch long. In the same ruins with the tablets have been found the glass lenses which were used by their readers. Tbe writ ing was done, while the tablets were still soft, by a little Iron tracer, not pointed, but triangular at the end. By slightly pressing this end on the soft moist clay the iuscriptiuus were made. The tablets, having been inscribed on both sides and accurately .numbered, were baked In ovens and stored away in the state libraries. New York American. Father Knows. She Did you say anything to paps about your being too young? He Yes. But be said when I once began to pay your bills I should age rapidly enough. New York Journal. Knew What His Few Days Meant. Quackly By the bye, have you got 10 about you ijjut you don't need for a few days? Smackly I have, but 1 might need it some time. Exchange. Want of care does us more damage than want of knowledge. Franklin. Sorry Ho Spoke. Sbere to a certain West Philadelphia bachelor who ta very fond of chOdrcs. fiecently when be was riding on a Chestnut street trolley car a woman sat opposite him with a baby in bar arms. Suddenly tbe baby began to cry. Every one in the car seemed to be annoyed and a general scowl want around that Is, every one except the bachelor. He tried to show by tbe benign expression of bis face that tbe crying of the baby was sweet music to him. He smiled at the youngster, bat the noise only grew loader, finally he leaned across tbe car. "Perhaps there's a pin sticking him," be said hi a stage whisper and after the manner of one who understands all the complexities and troubles of baby Ufa There was a profound al ienee In the car until the mother an swered: "No. there's no pin sticking him, she said at last In a tone of scorn and with much emphasis on the but word. Then she continued, "He's scared be cause you're making faces at bun." After that the bachelor lapsed Into penslveness. Philadelphia Times. The Starling's Tongue. It Is extraordinary how many per sons are under the Impression that, in order to enable a bird to talk. It la ab solutely necessary to cat or silt Its tongue. I have heard that this fal lacy had Its origin In tbe following story: A man had a number of star lings In a large cage marked Tine Young Starlings Only 1 8h!Ulng Each," and as each would be pur chaser arrived the man would say. "There's a fine bird there, sir point ing out one of them, "but I want naif a crown for him, because he's the only one with a cut tongue, so he la bound to be a talker." He would then pro ceed to catch the bird and show the cut tongue and Invariably succeeded In effecting a sale. This dodge would be repeated as each new customer ar rived and departed rejoicing at his good bargain. The reader perhaps Is not aware that all starlings have a very peculiar formation at tbe ex tremity of the tongue, which gives the appearance of a little piece having been snipped out of ItLondon Strand. Antiquity of Shorthand. Shorthand Is apt to be looked upon as an essentially modern art The predecessors of Pitman Byrom In tbe eighteenth century. Mason In the sev enteenthare dim and distant figures beyond which it seems useless to ven ture. Cicero dictated his orations to his freedman, T. Tullius Tiro, and was Inconsolable when temporarily depriv ed of his services. He complained In a letter to n friend that, while "Tiro takes down whole phrases in a few signs, Splntharus (his provisional sub stitute) only writes in syllables." We need not, however, suppose that the "notae Tlronlanae" were actually in vented by the freedman in question. As M. Guenln points out, the Romans created very few of the arts of peace, contenting themselves, as a rule, by copying from the Greeks. M. Guenln, however, indicates the banks of the Nile as the cradle of the art T. P.'a London Weekly. A Benevolent Censor. A trio of young ladles spent some weeks last year at an out of the way village In the mountain region. They found the village postmaster a quaint old character, whose ways were as ori ginal as they were startling, so that the dally trip to the postcunce became a real event "Is there any mail for us, major?' asked one of the young ladles as she appeared at the window one morning. "No; they ain't a thing for you all this mawnin', Miss Mary," was tbe re ply. "They wasn't nothln' come for you but a letter that looked like adver tlsln', an' so I opened It, and sure enough it was jest some advertisement about somethin' or other, and I says to myself, says I, 'Now, Miss Mary don't want to tote such stuff as that home with her,' and so I throwed it In the waste box." Youth's Companion. Snuff and a Crook. Robert Pinkerton once told a story of bis father, the founder of the de tective agency, which illustrates the elder Plnkerton's caution. A noted criminal was detained in Plnkerton's Chicago office. The elder Pinkerton left the room and when he returned took tbe precaution of holding a re volver in front of him ready for use. He saw the criminal standing by the door with a snuffbox he had picked up from Plnkerton's desk in his band. "This Is good snuff," affably re marked the crook as he took a sniff. "For the eyes or the nose?' asked Pinkerton, who knew that the crook had intended to blind him in an effort to escape. "Well," remarked the criminal, "I'm sorry to say that the nose gets it this time." Appius Claudius. Applus Claudius, surnamedt Caecos (the blind), was a Roman statesman who lived during tbe third century be fore the Christian era. He was a Bo man censor. 312 to 306, and consul, 307 to 29G. He commenced the Ap plan way and completed theAppIan aqueduct. From his Roman v Juris prudence, oratory, grammar andQLatln prose date their beginning. Hot abol ished the limitation of the fulH right of citizenship to landed proprietors. In his old age he is said to have be come blind, whence his cognomen "Caecus." He was the author of works hi both prose and verse,) of which almost nothing is known. No Pure Water. Owing to tbe extremely solvent pow ers, pure water is never found in na ture, tbe nearest approach being found in rainwater, which, as it as formed In the upper regions of the atmosphere. Is the purest that nature 'supplies, but In descending it brings with it what ever Impurities are floating near tbe surface, which in the neighborhood of cities are always .numerous; hence per fectly pure waterls hardly to be found, even the artificially dlstilledibelng only approximately sow Dreadful I Stella A dreadful experience, yon amy? Bella Tea; I saw a great bargain tmjLboes when 1 bad a hole Id my I Ladles Guett. eaSiv QZJLitJZiutCLOTUtr &twmS ft C It is just simply out of the question for a young fellow to find such clothes as those known as "Col lege Chap" unless he comes to us. The shoulders, the grace ful waist, the delightful lapels, all proclaim them the clothes "de luxe" for men who know cleverness when they see it. Are you one of these men? We want to know you. OREISEN BROS. Columbus, Neb. A ttrewsome "Charm.'' One of the most grewsome "charms" la that which was at one time exten sively used as a cure for wens. Tbe band of a dead criminal still banging had to be rubbed three times over the wen. A correspondent In London Notes and Queries some few years since wrote that many persons were then living who In their younger days had undergone tbe ceremony, always, they maintained, with complete suc cess. "On execution days at North ampton." be adds, "numbers of suffer ers used to congregate around the gallows In order to receive the "dead stroke,' as it was termed. At the last execution which took place In that town a very few only were operated upon, not so much In consequence of decrease of faith as from tbe higher fee demanded by the hangman." Paternal Fortitude. I was calling, when tbe little daugh ter of my hostess came into the room. Knowing that her mother's mother had that morning returned home after a somewhat lengthy visit I said: "Weren't you sorry to have grandma go away. Pearl? "Yes. 1 was," she answered prompt ly, "and so was mamma very sorry. But;" nd she paused thoughtfully for a moment, "I couldn't see at breakfast but that papa was just as cheerful as ever." Especially the Police. Female Mendicant I'm a poor wid ow woman with eight small children. Cant you give us some clothes? Lady Tbe only clothing 1 have to give away is one of my husband's coats. Female Mendicant Give It to me. good lady. 1 might marry again. There are several gentlemen as have their eye on me. New York Journal. WANTED-Thanameaor mandolin ami guiUr players. Will tend a fine piece for first and second mandolin and Kuitar (or piano) fall sheet, music size, to any ono tending in the names of fire or more players. C. A. Temple man, Fremont. Nebraska. COMING TO Columbus, If ebraukm. The eminent physician on chronic diseases will visit our city Saturday, August 20, 1910 And will be at the Thurston hotel until 5 p. m., one day ONLY. Dr. Potters president of the staff of tbe Boston Electro Medical Institute, is making a tour of tbe state. He will give consultation, examination and all tbe medicines necessary to com plete a cure FREE. All parties taking advantage of his offer are requested to state to their friends the result of tbe treatment. Cures DEAFNESS by an entirely new process. Treats all curable cases of catarrh, throat and lung diseases, eye and ear, stomach, liver and kidney, gravel, rheu matism, paralysis, neuralgia, nervous and heart disease, epilepsy. Brigbt's disease and disease of tbe bladder, blood and skin diseases, and big neck and stammering cared. Files and rupture eared without de tention from buainem Asthma cured in a abort time. It yon are improving under your fam ily physician do not take up our valua ble time. The rich and poor are treated alike. Idlers and cariosity seekers will please stay away. Our time is valuable Remember, NOT A PENNY will be charged for tbe medicine required to make a cure of all those taking treat ment this trip. Office hour 9 a.m. Positively married ladies must be so companied by their husbands. Remem ber tbe date, Saturday Aug. 20 st Thurs ton Hotel, Columbus, Neb. The Real Need. In negro households, especially In communities where negroes form a large portion of tbe population, it fre quently happens that tbe woman Is the head of the family, being not only the breadwinner, bat also the discipli narian, and In that capacity on occa sions she regards her putative lord and master as subject to her will. This at least was the assumption of the col ored woman who was a party to a lit tle scene enacted In the office of a jus tice of the peace. A man had been arrested on the charge of beating and cruelly misus ing his wife. After hearing the charge against the prisoner the justice turned to the first witness. "Madam." he said. 'If this man were your husband and bad given you a beating would you call In the police?" The woman addressed, a veritable amazon In size and aggressiveness, turned a smiling countenance toward the justice and answered: "No, jedge. If he was man hnsban an' be treated me lak he did 'Is wife Ah wouldn't call no p'liceman. No, ash; Ah'd call de undertaker. Youth's Companion. Flexibility of English. English Is not only, as Richard Jef feries asserted, the most expressive and flexible of tongues, bnt also, in Swinburne's opinion, the most musi cal. He proclaimed the lines Music that sentlier on the spirit lies Than tired eyelids upon tired eyes to be unmatched for melody In any language. And few would venture to contradict such a master of music and tongues. But surely French ranks next on the roll of languages. For clearness of diction it Is unrivaled, and, thanks to Its abundance of vow els (close on one for every consonant) It flowes rhythmically from the tongue. Against Westley's dictum, that French Is to German as a bagpipe to an or gan, may be cited a saying of another famous divine. Dr. Dolllnger. "L'AUe mand n'est pas one langue, mals ceux qui parlent ce jargon se comprennent entre eaux" (German Is not a lan guage, but those who speak this jar gon understand one another). London Chronicle. Facts About Giants. That very few of the giants who have ever lived have been healthy or well formed recent researches prove beyond a doubt. All we know about Goliath is that he was very tall, bat in the second book of Kings we read about another giant, who bad more fingers than an ordinary human being, and, according to modern scientists, this is Invariably a token of degen eracy. Marcel Donnal saw at Milan a giant who was so tall that his body filled two beds at night, but whose legs were so weak that he could hard ly stand upright. William Evans, the gigantic porter of Charles I., had little strength, and Cromwell's porter, an other giant, ended his days In a luna tic asylum. Finally. O'Brien, the Irish giant, has been described as "an enor mous sick child who grew up too fast" Another Fake. "Did you see the 'lightning calcu lator In tbe sideshow?" asked the old farmer in tbe wide straw hat. "By heck, yes," drawled the other rurallte. "and he was the biggest fake In the show." "How was that?" "Why, thar was a thunderstorm go ing on while I was in the tent and when I asked him If he could calculate where tbe lightning was going to strike he just gave me the laugh." Chicago News. An Ominous Symptom. "A good wife is heaven's greatest gift to man and tbe rarest gem tbe earth holds," remarked Mr. Jarphly the other morning. "She is his joy, bis inspiration and his very soul. Through her he learns to reach tbe pure and true, and her loving bands lead him softly over the rough places. She is" "Jeremiah," said Mrs. Jarphly sol emnly "Jeremiah, what wickedness have you been up to now?" Doubled In Value. A Missourlan who bought some Texas land and wanted to unload it told a prospective buyer that it had "doubled hi yalue since I bought it" "But" said tbe other, "you offered to sell it to me for tbe same price you. paid. How has it doubled In value?' "Well, you see, I gave twice as much as It was worth." Kansas City Star. Exchango of Compliments. Maud My mamma says she can re member when your mamma kept a grocer's shop. Marie My mamma says she can re member how much your mamma owes her for groceries. The Danger. "It Is always dangerous to try to get something for nothing," remarked the wise guy. "Yes, you might get what you de serve," added the simple mug. Phil adelphia Record. Life. Life Is a burden Imposed upon you by God. What you make of It that it will be to you. Take It up bravely, bear it joyfully, lay it down trium phantly. Gall Hamilton. The Obliging Proprietor. "Won't you please give me an or--der?' pleaded the persistent drummer. "Certainly," replied the crusty pro-' prletor. "Get out!" Llpplncott's. Heaven often smites In mercy, e when the blow la severest Balllle. The Elevator Man's Joke. Hobbs I guess the elevator Is out of order. What Is that sign on tbe door? Dobbs The elevator man must be & bit of a wag. It says. "Please pardon I me for not rising." Boston Transcript Hedging. Clergyman Will you take this wo man until death? Prospective Bride groomIsn't there any minimum sen tence? New York Press. Tbe envious man pines In plenty, Uke Tantalus up to the chin In water and) yet thirsty. T. Adams. Pioneer Crude Oil Burner Company Incorporated under tbe laws of Oklahoma. Capital Stock $90,000.00 On account of our being delayed about secur ing oil, we have not been placing any additional Crude Oil Burner, but now that we have our storage completed and plenty of oil on hand, we will begin the work of installing burners at once. Every burner is sold under a positive guarantee that they will give satisfaction, or they need not be accepted. Ask those who are using them and also come to the tent west of the Thurston and see them demonstrated. tier ueodby. She waa one of those very gushing, effusive 'Mates who occasionally infest newspaper offices, and she had been admitted Into the sanctum of the man aging editor of the paper on which Homer Davenport was cartoonist, re cites the Saturday Evening Post. Mr. Davenport was In the room at ih time. When the time came for her de parture she first grasped tbe hand of the managing editor, saying. "Goodby, Mr. Mies, goodby!" Then, turning to the assistant man aging editor, she also shook him ef fusively by the hand, exclaiming. "Goodby. Mr. Buss, goodby!" Davenport came next There was no escape for him. "Dear Mr. Daven port, goodby!" she cried with all the delicate shading of a tragedy queen. There was silence for a moment aft er she had gone. Then Davenport found his voice. "Where Is she go ing?' he asked. "Up to Ninety-third street." replied the assistant managing editor. "Suffering cats!" drawled Daven port "What should have happened If she had been going to One Hundred and Twenty-fifth street?' She Handed It Back. A noted doctor believes in training children to reason for themselves, and this policy he carries out with bis own child, a little girl of eight and he tells a story In connection with her with great glee. "My dear," be said to her, "I saw something today that I hope I shall never be pained to hear of you doing." "What was that, papa?' the daugh ter asked. "I saw little Mary Goodglrl stick her tongue out at a man today." The child, evidently thinking that It was an occasion to teU of the faults of tbe other girl, said: "Papa. I saw Mary" The doctor Interrupted and told the child she must not gossip and if she knew anything that waa not nice about anybody she must keep it to herself. The child looked at her father and then said quickly: "Well, papa, why did you tell me about Mary?' The physician was so surprised he could not answer. Philadelphia Times. His Only Blemish. When the pious looking lady entered the London blrdsbop and stated her need of a talking parrot the proprietor "reckoned e'd got the werry thing the lady wanted." "Course, ma'am." he said, "you don't want a wulgar bird. This 'ere one. now, was brought over by a missionary. Talks like a reg'Iar 'ymn book, 'e does. I wouldn't let 'im go If I didn't think you'd give 'Im a re spectable 'ome. Thirty-five shillings that bud. ma'am." "You'll soon know!" screeched Pol ly. "You'll soon know!" "Dear me! How quaint!" gushed tbe lady, and 35 shillings changed bands. "What does he mean by 'you'll soon know.' I wonder?" "It's 'Is only blemish, ma'am," smiled the blrdsbop man. "'E's got it into 'Is 'ead that every one's won derful anxious to find out wot a mis sionary sex when 'e 'Its 'is thumb with a 'ainmer." What She Missed. Six-year-old Ruth was very unhappy because one of her many wants bad been denied. Her papa was giving her a lecture and said. "You have every thing that most little girls have, and I don't think there Is another little girl In town has more than you." "Oh, yes," said Ruth. "Alice has." "What has she that you have not?' said papa. "Well. I guess she had a ride to her grandma's funeraL" Exchange. The Serpent's Venom. A physician while talking with a group of friends remarked: "It is com mon to hear people speak about poi sonous serpents. Serpents are never poisonous: they are venomous. A poison cannot be taken Internally with out bad effects; a venom can. Venoms to be effective have to be Injected di rectly Into the circulation, and this Is the manner In which the snake kills. Their venom taken Internally Is In nocuous." The Weapon He Needed. An excited citizen burst frantically into the police station. "My life's In danger!" he cried. "I've Just received a threatening letter from the Black Hand, and I want a permit to carry a weapon." "All right sir," replied the captain. "I'll give you a permit to carry a fan that's tbe weapon you need; some thing that will keep you cool." Chi cago News. An Odd Apology. This is the classic apology of a cele brated statesman of the last genera tion: "Mr. Speaker. In the heat of de bate I stated that tbe right honorable gentleman opposite was a dishonest and unprincipled adventurer. I have now, in a calmer moment, to state that I am sorry for it" M. VOGEL. A Bird'a Barbed Wire Fences. There ma be seen along the road skies in Central America a brown wren about the size of a canary which builds a nest out of all proportion to its ap parent needs. It selects a small tree with horizontal branches' growing close together. Across two of the branches It lays sticks fastened together with tough fiber until a platform about six feet long by two feet wide has been Constructed. On the end of this plat form nearest the tree trunk It then builds u huge, dome shaped nest a foot or so high with thick sides of Inter woven thorns. A covered passageway Is then mude from tbe rest to the end of the platform in as crooked a man ner as possible. Across tbe outer end as well as at short Intervals along tbe inside of this tunnel are placed cun ning little fences of thorns with just space euough for the owners to pass through. On going out this opening Is closed by the owner by placing thorns across tbe gateway, and thus tbe safe ty of tbe eggs or young Is assured Harper's Weekly. Finding Mark Twain by Faith. On? eveniug u few years ago Brander Matthews and Francis Wilson were dining together at the Players club of New York, when the former made tbe suggestion that they write a letter to Mark Twain. "But." objected Mr. Wil son, "we don't know where he Is," for it was at a time when Mr. Clemens was away traveliug somewhere. "Oh," said Professor Matthews, "that does not make any difference. It Is sure to find him. I think he is some place In Europe, so we bad better put on a five cent stamp." So the two sat down and composed a letter, which they ad dressed to "Mark Twain. God Knows Where." Within three weeks they received a reply from Mr. Clemens which said briefly. "He did." The letter had been sent by tbe New York postofflce to Harper & Bros., thence to Chatto &. Windus of London, thence to a bank in Vienna and from tbe bank to the small town In Austria in which Mark Twain happened to be staying. Book man. Ho Got Badly Loft Experiences of a correspondent of a Nuremberg paper go to show that tbe German adulteration laws are drastic. He says: "A French friend sent me four bottles of burgundy. After pay ing the duty I was informed that all wine coming from abroad has to be analyzed. As my consignment includ ed two kinds of wine a double analysis was necessary, and for this I paid a fee of $9.2-1. As tbe end of a week I received first a certificate attesting that my wine was pure and, second, the case In which the bottles were sent. I was also Informed that two bottles had been required to form the basis of each analysis and that consequently there was no wine left. I am natural ly grateful to the state for tbe precau tions taken to guard my health, but I cannot help thinking I am entitled to the empty bottles. Surely these were not also analyzed." Got His Receipt He had run up a small bill at the village store and went to pay It, first asking for a receipt. Tbe proprietor grumbled and complained It was too small to give a receipt for. It would do just as well, he said, to cross the account off and so drew a diagonal pencil line across the book. "Does that settle it?' asked tbe cus tomer. "Sure." "An' ye'U nlver be askin' for it agin?' "Certainly not." "Faith, thin," said the other coolie, "an I'll kape me money hi me pocket" "But I can rub that out." said the storekeeper. "I thought so." said the customer dryly. "Maybe ye'H be givln' me a re ceipt now. Here's yer money." Ono of the Natives. A gentleman was once showing a countryman round a zoo, when they came to a cage containing a kanga roo. "What Is that?' Inquired tbe coun tryman. "Ob." replied tbe gentleman, "that Is a native of Australia!" Immediately the countryman threw up his arms In horror, exclaiming. "Goodness gracious, my sister married one of them!" Loudon Telegraph. Training For a Crash. "That man Is always anxiuus to get into the spot light" said the observant citizen. "Yes." replied Senator Sorghum, "but be doesn't discriminate. One of these days he's going to stand in front of a locomotive headlight and not realize his mistake till be Is run over." Wash ington Star. The Common Complaint Probably this expression la used oftener by people than any other: "Ev erything Is blamed on X I r i