Got Another Copy. '
A well dressed man was standing
outside a bookseller's sbop in Charing
Cross road closely examining one of
Balzac's works illustrated by Gustave
Dore. "How much is this Balzac?" he
asked an assistant outside. -
"Twenty-five shillings." was the re
ply. "Oh, that's far too much. 1 must see
the manager about a reduction." con
tinued the prospective customer, and.
suiting the action to the word, he took
up the book and went into the shop.
Approaching the bookseller, he took
the book from under his arm and asked
what he would give for it "Seven
shillings highest offer," he was told.
The offer was accepted, the man took
his money and left
"Well," queried the assistant later,
after the man had gone, "were you
able to hit it off with the gentleman,
sirr
"Oh, yes. I managed to get another
copy of that edition of Balzac for 7
.shillings."
Then the bookseller went out to
lodge a complaint with the police
London Telegraph.
A Victim of Leprosy.
"On my travels in Venezuela," said a
New York man. "I stayed in a hotel
with a young man In whose family
there was the taint of leprosy, though
he apparently did not have it One
night sitting at dinner he became an
gry at a waiter and brought his hand
down on the table with full force. He
Instantly realized that he did not feel
the blow and sat looking at his hand,
his face whitening with horror. 'Give
me your knife. Bob,' he said to his
chum. He grabbed the pockelknlfe In
a frenzy and stabbed the side of his
hand with vicious cuts from finger tip
to wrist You may not know that lep
rosy appears in the side of the hand,
numbness leing a sign. The man did
not feel the cuts. He arose from the
table, knocking over his chair, rushed
out Into the courtyard of the hotel, and
we heard the quick tang of a revolver
shot, telling us how he had couquered
the leper's curse by ending his life."
New York Times.
He Could Wield an Ax.
The skill of the old Maine shipbuild
ers in the use of the adz and broadax
was wonderful. One old time yarn is
of a carpenter who applied very drunk
at a shipyard for employment. In or
der to have a little fun with him the
foreman set him to give a proof of his
skill by hewing out a wooden bolt with
no chopping block but a stone. The
carpenter accomplished his difiicult
task without marring the keen edge of
the broadax and showed the foreman
a neatly made bolt. Then he brought
the as down with a terrific blow that
shattered its edge upon the stone. "I
can hew fust mte on your chopping
block." he hiccoughed, "but I'll be
blamed if I can make the ax stick in
It when I git through." The story runs
that the foreman lost no time in em
ploying such a workman.
Judges' Wigs.
The wig is only worn by English
barristers to give them a stern, judi
cial apjearauce. and no one can say
that it falls in this respect The cus
tom was originated by a French judge
in the seventeenth century when, hap
pening to dou a marquis' wig one day,
he found it gave him such a stern and
dignified appearance that he decided
to get one for himself and wear it at
all times in court. This lie did. and
the result was so satisfactory from a
legal point of view that not only
judges, but barristers also, took up the
custom throughout Europe. London
Graphic.
Acquitted.
"Sir!" said the young woman, with
what seemed to be indignation.
The young man looked embarrassed.
"Yes, 1 did kiss you," he admitted,
"but I was impulsively insane."
"That means that a man would be a
lunatic to kiss ineV"
"Well, any man of discretion would
be just crazy to kiss you."
This seeuied to end the strain, and.
no jury being present to muddle af
fairs; a satisfactory verdict was
reached.
Suspicious Routine.
Good Man All, my poor fellow, 1
feel sorry for you! Why don't you
work? When I was young, for ten
years 1 was never in bed after S an
hour's work before breakfast, then live
hours' work, then dinner, then four
hours' more work, then supper, then
bed. then up again at 5 the next morning-Loafer
I say. guv'nor, where did ye
serve yer time. San Quentin or Fol
som? San Francisco Star.
Conceited.
"Is he conceited?"
"Conceited? I should say he is. He
even imagines that lie cut some fig
ure at his owu weddiug." Detroit Free
Press.
Our friends must be more and not
less to us in the other world than they
are here. This world only begins
friendships. Phillips Brooks.
MME. RENO
Empress of Magic
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14
Chautauqua Music!
Hath Charms
Miss Bunnell. Soprano.
Mrs. Brown and Choir Boys.
Cleveland Ladies' Orchestra.
Seven musical companies a change
each day fourteen musical preludes.
No assembly management has offered
a better balanced program. Get ready
by buying season tickets for sale by
ail business houses and others.
CHAUTAUQUA
A Judicial Favor.
A verdant local reporter whose pro
pensities incline td daring rather than
to judgment and whose ardency In the
quest of news is one of his marked
characteristics approached a judge of
the United States district court and so
licited a little advance information on
a case in progress in the judge's court
"You see, judge," said the youngster
to the astonished jurist "we go to
press in a few moments, and we all
.know your inclination to do a. news
paper man a favor.
The venerable man eyed the youth
Bternly and slid slowly and emphat
ically: 'Yes. young man, I'll do you a fa
vor this time,, and yon will see that
you don't ask me again."
"That's fine, your honor. Thanks,
very much. Just a few lines will do."
"I will do you this favor. I shall not
send you to jail this time, but if you
ever approach me again with such a
question your friends will not see you
for some time."
The discomfited reporter retired ru
minating on the mysteries of the law
and the dignities pertaining to the ju
diciary. I'hiladelpha Ledger.
The Exclusiveness of Caste.
An English ollicer who some years
ago was wounded in a battle in India
and left lvlnir all night among the na
tive dead and wounded tells this story:
"Next morning we spied a man and an
old woman, who came to us with a
basket and a pot of water, and to
every wounded man she gave a piece
of joaree bread from the basket and a
drink from her water pot. To us she
gave the same, and I thanked heaven
and her. 15ut the Soobahdar was a
high caste Rajput, and. as this wom
an was a Cliumar. or of the lowest
caste, he would receive neither water
nor bread from her. I tried to per
suade him to take it that he might
live, but he said that in our state, with
but a few hours more to linger, what
was a little more or less suffering to
us why should he give up his fate
for such an object? No; he preferred
to die unpolluted."
The Scotsman's English.
A true specimen of the highland
man's difficulties with the English lan
guage: Fanner (who had instructed his
Gaelic shepherd to look for a number
of sheep that had wandered from the
fold) Well. Donald, have you found
them?
"Aye. mister."
"Where did you get them?"
"Well, got two by itself, one to
gether and three among one of Mc
Phearson's." London News.
Growing Bananas.
Bananas are. as a rule, planted out
systematically in rows, the "suckers'
being placed at an average of ten feet
apart The banana plaut bears only
one bunch at a time, but it is a quick
grower, yielding its fruit in twelve to
fourteen months. When the plant Is
about six months old a second "suck
er" or shoot is allowed to spring from
the root, a third after the ninth month,
and so on. so that after the first year
there is a continuous crop being reaped.
Books.
For the greater part of its life a
book is an article of furniture and
stands upon the shelf to decorate the
library with its patch of color and
glow of kindly associations, but from
time to time there occur those crises
of its existence when it isaken dojni
and. read. London 'Athenaeum;
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Only Wanted His Consent.
He was well dressed and breezy, and
when be entered the private office of
the .great tea merchant be looked ca
pable of doing auythiug from selling
books to writing up insurance.
"1 have come, sir." be announced
without hesitation, "to get your con
sent" "Consent 'for what?" demanded the
old man without looking up.
"Well er you see. your daughter"
"Ob. 1 understand now. So you like
my daughter, eh?"
"I think she is the finest young wo
man 1 have met in many moons. As
I was saying.' If you'll ghe your cou
sent she will have the handsomest"
"Come, coniel Don't get vain aud
say she'll have the finest husband If
she accepts you."
"I'm married, sir. I'm trying to tell
you that It you give your consent she'll
have the handsomest auto runabout in
town. She's dead stuck on it, and if
you'U consent aud put up $1,000 cash
we will"-
But the great tea merchant bad col
lapsed. Chicago News.
A Selfish Proposition.
A gentleman, resideut at Harrow,
made frequent complaints to the mas
ters ot the great school there of bis
garden being stripped of its fruit, even
before it became ripe, but to no pur
pose. "
Tired of applying to the masters for
redress, he at length appealed to the
boys. and. sending for one to bis
house, he said: "Now. my good fellow.
I'll make this agreement with you and
your companions. Let the fruit re
main on the trees till it becomes ripe,
aud I promise to give you half."
The loy coolly replied. "I can say
nothing to the proposition, sir. myself,
hut will make it known to the rest of
the boys and Inform you of their de
cision tomorrow."
Next day came aud brought with it
this reply: "The gentlemen of Harrow
cannot agree to receive so uoequal a
share, since Mr. is an individual
and we are many." Londou Sketch.
Our Elastic Globe.
Nothing seems more rigid tbau the
crust of the earth, but scientific men
tell us that it bends and buckles ap
preciably under the pull of the heaven
ly bodies. Careful observation has
also shown that the shores on opposite
sides of a tidal basin approach each
other at high tide. The weight of
water in the Irish sea. for instauce. is
so much greater at that time that the
bed sinks a trifle and consequently
pulls the Irish and English coasts
nearer together. The buildiugs of Liv
erpool and Dublin may be fancied as
bowing to each other across the chan
nel, the deflection from perpendicular
being about oue inch for every six
teen miles. It has been showu. too.
that ordinary valleys widen under the
beat of the sun ami contract again at
uigbt. We live uot on a rigid but an
elastic globe.
The Origin of Oxygen.
That eminent scientist Lord Kelvin
maintained that all the oxygen in the
atmospli-i" prnbably originated from
the :u tiuii of sunlight upon plants.
When our earth was a globe of hot
liquid it contained no vegetable fuel
and probably no free oxygen. But as
it cooled off plants appeared on its
surface, and these began to evolve
oxygen through the medium of the
sunbeams. Upon the oxygen thus de
rived we depend for the maintenance
of life by breathing. When we burn
coal or other vegetable fuel we use up
oxygen, and it is to plants again that
we owe the restoration of the oxygen
thus lost to the air. If they failed to
keep up a sufficient supply the atmos
phere would gradually part with its
oxygen, and the inhabitants of the
earth would disappear in consequence
of asphyxiation.
In Westminster Abbey.
Fox's tomb is perhaps the most ridic
ulous in the abbey, but others run it
hard the naked figure of General
Wolfe supported by one of his staff
in full regimentals and receiving a
crown from Victory; William Wllber
force apparently listening to Sheridan
telling a comic tale and contorting his
features in the endeavor not to laugh;
the Sir Cloudesley Shovel, iu periwig
aud itomau toga, which excited the
mirth even of coutemiwraries, and all
the monuments erected by the East
India company, with palm trees and
other tropical exulteniuces, to the
memory of great soldiers, like Sir Eyre
Coote. From the point of view of good
taste a dictator would be justified In
dismissing these and many more to
the stonemason's yard. Cornhlll Mag
azine. How Pausanius Died.
Pausanius. the Greek general, died
by self administered poison. When
hotly pursued by those sent to appre
hend him on a charge of treason and
sacrilege he took refuge in the sanc
tuary of a temple. Unable to remove
him by force and also unwilling to
violate the sanctuary, the officers wall
ed up the entrance and began to un
roof the building. When he could be
seen they noticed that be was chewing
something which proved to be a quill
filled with poison. By the time the
work had sufficiently advanced to ad
mit of their entrance he was in a dy
ing condition.
Secret For Secret.
In the days of Louis XIV. even war
riors bandied epigrams with one an
other. The Marechal dc Grammont had tak
en a fortress by siege.
"I will tell you a secret." said its
military governor after surrendering.
"The reason of my capitulation was
that I had no more owder."
"And. secret for secret." returned
the marechal suavely, "the reason of
my accepting it on such easy terms
was that I had no more balls."
The Sharks.
"Did you see sharks when you cross
ed the ocean. Mr. Spiffkins?' asked
Miss Purling.
"Yes." replied Spiffkins sadly. "I
played cards with a couple."
The Sharks.
"Did you see sharks when you cross
ed the ocean. Mr. Spiffkins?' asked
Miss Purling.
"Yes." replied Spiffkins sadly. "I
played cards with a couple."
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It is just simply out of
the question for a young
fellow to find such clothes
as those known as. "Col
lege Chap" unless he comes
to us.
The shoulders, thegrace
ful waist, the delightful
lapels, all proclaim them
the clothes "de luxe" for
men who know cleverness
when they see it. Are you
one of these men?. We
want to know you.
GREISEN BROS.
Columbus, Neb.
In a Maori Wooing House.
Among the Maoris sometimes in the
whare inatoro (the wooing house), a
building in which the young of both
sexes assembled for play, songs,
dances, etc.. there would be at stated
times a uieeting. When the fires burn
ed low a girl would stand up iu the
dark and say: "1 love So-and-so. I
want him for my husband." If be
coughed (sign of assent i or said "Yes"
it was well; if only dead silence, sbe
covered her head with her robe and
was ashamed. This was uot often, as
she generally bad mauaged to ascer
tain either by her own inquiry or by
sending n girl friend if the proposal
was acceptable. On the other baud,
sometimes a mother would attend and
say, "1 want So-and-so for my sou."
If not acceptable there was generally
mocking, and she was told to let the
young people have their bouse (the
wooing bouse) to themselves.
Pepys and the Comet.
On Dec. 21. 1GU4. Pepys. the diarist.
records. "My Lord Sandwich this day
writes me word that be bath seen at
Portsmouth the comet and says it is
the most extraordinary thing be ever
saw." Again, three days later, be
writes, "II a v lug sat up all ulgbt till
past 2 o'clock this morning, our porter,
being appoiuted. comes and tells us
that the bellman tells him that the
star is seen upon Tower hill, so I and
my boy to Tower bill, it being a most
One bright moonshine night and a
great frost, but no comet to be seen."
Later the same day. however. Pepys
did see tbe comet, "which now, wheth
er worn away or uo. I know not. ap
pears not with a tail, but only Is larger
aud duller than any other star."
Westminster Gazette.
Education.
Wbat sculpture is to a block of mar
ble education is to a human soul. The
philosopher, tbe saint and the hero, tbe
wise, tbe good and the great man very
often lie bid aud concealed in a plebe
iau. which a proper education might
have disinterred and brought to light.
Addison.
Shakespeare's Handicap.
Mrs. .Montmorency Smythe And
wbat were oii rending when I came
in. my dear? Shakesiieare' Ah! Wbat
a wonderful man: And to think that
be wasn't exactly wbat one would cull
a gentleman! London Punch.
Conceited.
"Is he conceited?"
"Conceited? I should say be is. He
even imagines that be cut some fig
ure at his own wedding." Detroit Free
Press.
Our friends must be more and not
less to us in the other world than- they
are here. This world only begins
friendships.-Phillips Brooks.
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15
Lady Monologist
OONNA IELL ELDER
Teton
Indian School
at Chautauqua
Every boy and girl between the
Iges of C and 14 years may join the.
lavage band provided he or sho has.
; child's season ticket.
A kiad and sweet voiced teacher)
vlll he in charge.
Read what Manager Horner says to
he children in the catalogs. 41
The walls of Jericb fell at the blast
f the ram's horn. Elijah P. Brown
founded a. paper called "Ram's Horn."
Mr. Brown is a popular and interest
ing lecturer and is to be with us at
CHAUTAUQUA
His Athletic Neighbor.
A young man inmate of a boarding
house had been disturbed night after
night by the boarder in the next room
doing tilings with a punching bag he'd
rigged up in the room some way. At
breakfast each morning the young man
would look over the crowd and won
der who the bag puncher might be.
but there was no oue iu sight but a
bunch of women and eight or ten men
with narrow chests and retreating
chins. One night he made up bis mind
to knock on the bag punching room
er's door and ask him to put over his
exercise uutil daylight when all the
world's awake. The man might be
small enough to bulldoze even with all
his athletics. The door opened and
there, clad In a tight fitting red jersey,
was a robust, buxom woman of per
haps thirty summers.
"And what did you say to her?" the
young man was asked.
"I was so startled," replied be, "that
I asked what afterward seemed to me
tbe most natural request I could have
made. I asked her if she'd lend me
a couple of matches." Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Persistency of Colds.
Why is it that we are so heavily
subject to colds? Other epidemic dis
easesmeasles, typhoid, scarlet fever,
diphtheria may get hold on us once
and there is an end; It is not usual to
have any of them twice. We brew In
our blood Immunity. The poison of the
disease evokes iu us its proper anti
dote. Our blood cells make a sort of
natural antitoxin and keep it in stock,
so that we are henceforth protected
against the disease. A well vaccinated
nurse, for example, works with safety
in a smallpox hospital, where the very
air is infective, but her blood is so
changed by vaccination that the small
pox cannot affect her. By scarlet fe
ver, again, we are, as it were, vacci
nated against scarlet fever. The reac
tion of our blood against the disease
immunizes us. No such result follows
influenza or a common cold. We brew
nothing that Is permanent We are
just as susceptible to a later invasion
as we were to the invasion that is just
over. London Spectator.
The Festive Codfish.
A correspondent of the New York
Post says that the codfish frequents
"the tablelands of the sea." The cod
fish no doubt does this to secure as
nearly as possible a dry. bracing at
mosphere. This pure air of the sub
marine tablelands gives to the codfish
that breadth of chest and depth of
lungs that we have so often noticed.
Tbe glad, free smile of the codfish Is
largely attributed to the exhilaration
of this oceanic altitoodleum. The cor
respondent further says that the "cod
fish subsists largely on the sea cherry."
Those who have not had the pleasure
of seeing the codfish climb the cherry
tree' In search of food or clubbing the
fruit from the heavily laden branches
with chunks of coral have missed a
very fine sight. The codfish when at
borne rambling through the submarine
forests does not wear hi vest unbut
toned as he doewhile loafing around
tbe grocery stores of the United States.
-Bill Nye.
i-a me.
"Why are status ereeted to famous
men. father?" said :i c-liiul.
"So that they ma le-ome known,
dear." was the answer. -Kxcbange.
Who by aspersions throw, a stone at
the bead of others bit their own.
Herbert.
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Pioneer Crude Oil Burner Company
Incorporated under the laws of Oklahoma. Capital Stock $90,000.00
We have purchased the Platte
county right lor the Pioneer
Crude Oil Burner and opened a
permanent agency. For the pres
ent we will he located east of the
Thurston hotel, and Mr. Burns
will he with us a short time to in
stall burners. Our storage tank
will be completed soon and we
will be in a position to iurnish
oil to all who purchase burners.
M. VOGEL
There Should.
Fritz, tbe gardener, was a stolid Ger
man who was rarely moved to extraor
dinary language. Eveu the most pro
vocative occasions only caused him to
remark mildly on his ill luck. Not long
ago be came back from the city iu the
late evening after a bard day in tbe
market place. He was sleepy, and. tbe
train being crowded, the baggageman
gave bim a chair in bis roomy car.
Finally the train reached Biooiutleld.
Fritz still slept as It pulled iu. aud his
friend had to shake him and tell bim
where he was.
"I tanks you," said Fritz as be rose
slowly to bis feet. The open door of
the car was directly In front of him.
He walked straight out of it
Tbe baggageman sprang to look aft
er him. Fritz slowly picked himself
up from the sand by tbe side of tbe
track, looked up at the door and said,
with no wrath In bis voice:
"There should here be some steps."
Youth's Companion.
A Wonderful Feat.
In its review of Pierre de Vassiere's
book "Le Mort du Jtol" tbe Neueste
Nachrlcbten dwells upon tbe account
of tbe last seven minutes of Louis
XVI. as described in tbe book. These
were between 10:15, when the king ar
rived at tbe foot of the guillotine, and
1022. "when a snot tired at the end of
the Champs Elysees, no one knows by
whom, gave notice that tbe head bad
fallen." Tbe review calls attention to
tbe statement by tbe author that the
king's bands bad been pinioned be
hind bim by the executioner while
Louis was putting on the coat which
be was to wear at the end and that
when be reached tbe platform of the
instrument of death he rushed unas
sisted to the upright farthest from the
stairway, "slapping the face of one of
the assistant executioners who tried to
stop bim." With hands fastened at his
back, the reviewer asks. "How did the
doomed monarch manage to perforin
tbe operation?"
Etiquette by Precedent.
For example of how men may live
and act according to precedent there
can be no better reference than to the
lord chamberlain's office in Londou.
There in quiet rooms day after day
men learned in state etiquette, court
dress and royal functions reach down
heavy volumes to see wbat was done
on such aud such an occasion. Itcau
tlful pictures showing with minute ex
actness tbe details of tbe court cos
tume under various circumstances are
ready to their bands. Is tbe shah or
Persia coming? Is tbe kaiser soon to
arrive? Is tbe king going to receive
tbe monarch of Slam? is one of the
royal princesses to be married? When
any of these events happens the offi
cials at tbe lord chamberlain's ollice
know exactly what to do. And if
some point should crop up which has
not been raised for a century or more
tbey have tbe faithful official records
as to wbat was done on tbe last like
occasion.
Squaring the Circle.
Tbe origin of tbe problem squaring
tbe circle is almost lost iu tbe mists of
antiquity, but there is a record or an
attempted quadrature in Egypt f0O
years before tbe exodus of the Jews.
There is also u claim, according to
Hone, that tbe problem was solved by
a discovery of Ulpprocates. the geom
etrician of Chios not tbe physician
500 B. C. Now, tbe efforts of Hippoc
rates were devoted toward converting
a circle into a crescent, because be had
found that the area of a figure pro
duced by drawing two perpendicular
radii in a circle is exactly equal to the
triangle formed by tbe line of junc
tion. This is tbe famous theorem of
tbe "I unes of Hippocnhes" and is. like
glauber's salts out of tbe philosopher's
stone, an example of tbe useful results
which sometimes follow a search for
the unattainable.
bMJ
Better Plumbing
TiTANY homes should have better bath rooms
- than they now have. Wc have always
I
tned not only to do better
plumbing than we ever did
before, but better than any
body else can do. The vol
ume of work we are now
doing shows how we are succeeding.
We use only genuine
plumbing fixtures and employ only
experienced workmen. Our repair
ing service is prompt and reliable.
i
A. DU&SELL & SON.
ColaUBibms, Nebraska
mm
The Change of a Letter.
At the eriod when British Columbia
was threatening to withdraw from tbe
Dominion of Canada because tbe Car
narvon settlement had been ignored
by the Mackenzie administration the
late Lord DufTeriii took part in a pub
lie ruiH-tion iu (Jiiehee. While the pro
eeMino ii moving through the priu
eipal streets a geiitleiimu. breathless
with exeiteiueiit. hurried up to his ex
cellency's earriage to say a rebel"
arch bad been placed across the road
so a-. io identifj ihe viceroy with tbe
upptov.-il o: the disloyal inscription
thereon. 'Tan you tell me wbat words
there are on the areb?" quietly asked
DiinVrin. "Ob. .vs." replied bis In
formant: "they are 'Carnarvon Terms
or Separation. Send the committee
to me." commanded his excellency.
"Now. gentlemen." said he. with a
nolle, to the committee. "I'll go under
your beautiful arch on one condition.
1 won't ak oii to do much, and I beg
but a iriliinu favor. I merely ask that
you alter ne letter in your motto.
Turn the S into an It-make it 'Car
narvon Terms or Reparation' and I
will uladly pass under it." The com
mittee yielded, and eventually DufTerin
contrived to smooth over the difficul
ties and to reconcile the malcontents.
Runciman and Henley.
It is related that shortly after Runci
man. the well known writer on sea
farers and smugglers aud poachers,
had bitterly fallen out with W. E. Hen
ley he lay living in Londou. To Hen
ley in Kdiuliurgh. lame and ill. came
an indirect message that Ruuclman
believed that It Henley would come
and look on him he would get well.
It was a dying man's whimsy, but
Henley took the train from Ediuburgh
and arrived in London to find bis
friend dead.
Under the Spell.
Dashaway A few short hours ago 1
was sitting with a girl, telling ber sbe
was the only one in all the world 1
ever loved, and so forth.
Clevertou - And she believed you.
didn't she?
"How could sbe help it? Why. 1 be
lieved it myseir."-Llfe
Without Trimmings.
Payne, au examiner at Cambridge
university, whose questions were al
ways of a peculiarly exasperating na
ture, once asked a student at a special
examination to "give a definition of
happiness."
"An exemption from Payne." was
the reply.
Setting Her Right.
Mistress So you waut to leave.
Alary? With what motive are you
leaving? Cook It ain't a motive,
mum; It's a policeman. Boston Cou
rier. BURTON THATCHER
18
is almost phenomenal as a musical
genius. He has sung in grand opera
and in the moat celebrated oratorios
of the land. With his clever pianist,
Miss Mary Wilson Cook, he will de
liver a lecture-recital at
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