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Pioneer Crude Oil Burner Company
Incorporated under the laws of Oklahoma. Capital Stock 830,000.00
Come to our office in the tent east of the
Thurston hotel, and let us demonstrate to
you what a money-saving and heat-producing
burner we have.
Read What Mrs. J. H. Honsh lias to say
about the Brrner after 3 days9 use
"I never used or saw a better or more even fire.
I have baked and ironed with my stove since using the
burner, and it gave entire satisfaction in every par
ticular. The burner is so easily handled that you
have no trouble whatever in controlling the fire. It
is much cheaper and so mech cleaner that there is no
comparison whatever with coal. A number of my
neighbors have been in to see how the Burner worked
in my stove and each one of them was very highly
pleased with what they saw. Mrs. J. F. Housh."
.V3fJ-r:t--:3
THE NELL BUNNELL COMPANY
Music Hath Charms
and
Some Musicians Are Charming
Three superlatively handsome and
cultured artists who are coming for
CHAUTAUQUA
Couldn't Hear Them.
Tve been worried about 1113- bcarlug
for some time." said a local bauker.
who tells the story 011 himself, "aud
finally tbe fear of gettiug deaf became
a sort of obsession to me, and 1 de
cided to go over to New York to con
sult a specialist. I got over there aud
went to see the doctor, and he looked
so grave 1 was more scared than ever,
aud 1 was feeling pretty blue as 1
walked down Fifth avenue with a
friend.
"Suddenly I saw two 'special trol
leys' coming down a cross street filled
with children waving flags aud appar
ently having an awfully good time,
but I couldn't hear a sound. In an in
stant, without stopping to realize that
I could bear all the other noises of the
tratlic and my friend's voice. 1 turned
around and seized him by the arm and
shouted:
"'Heavens. Jo, I'm deaf! I can't
bear those children at all
"Neither ran I,' said my friend,
with a roar of laughter. 'They're
mutes. "Philadelphia Times.
The Rod and the Child.
I do not believe in the government
of tbe lash. If any one of you ever ex
pects to whip your children again I
waut you to have a photograph taken
of yourself when you are in the act.
with your face red with vulgar anger
and the face of the little child, with
eyes swimming in tears and tbe little
chiu dimpled with fear, like a piece of
water struck by a sudden cold wind.
Have the picture taken. If that little
child should die I cannot think of a
sweeter way to spend an autumn aft
ernoon than to go out to the cemetery
when the maples are clad in tender
gold aud little scarlet runners are com
ing, like poems of regret, from the sad
heart of the earth and sit down upon
the grave aud look at that photograph
and think of the flesh, now dust, that
you beat. 1 tell you it is wrong; it Is
no way to raise children. Make your
home happy. Be houest with them.
Divide fairly with them in everythiug.
Robert G. lngcrsoll.
Realism.
"When I was in London." said Miss
Warner to the little group of friends
rouud the dinner table who were lis
tening to her account of some amus
ing experiences she had abroad last
summer, "I tried to be as British as I
could, but I was constantly getting
mixed in my English phrases.
"You know one of the underground
railroads in Loudon is always spoken
of as the Uu'penuy tube.' so one day
when 1 wished to be transported in a
hurry from one side of the city to the
other I astonished a big. pleasant faced
bobby by asking where was the near
est station of the 'twopenny tub.' '
Every oue at tbe table laughed ex
cept the young Scotch guest He lean
ed across the board and said, very se
riously, "Ye kuow ye caau get a bawth
In Lunnon for tu'pence."
Helped Out the Gunner.
Gadebuscb. in the grand ducby of
Mecklenburg-Schweriu. in celebration
of the birth of a grand ducal heir de
cided to fire the regulation salute of
101 guns. An ancieut cannon was
hauled out for the purpose, and the
firing began. Unfortunately the pow
der ran short after the ninety-third
shot and there was no means of ob
taining any more in the towu. The
burgomaster was In despair, especially
as ninety-three shots indicated that the
grand ducal baby was a girl. At this
moment the municipal bandmaster
came forward with a luminous pro
posal, which was eagerly accepted.
He dispatched bis big drum major to
the market place, where he struck
eight powerful strokes on his instru
ment to make up the 101 shots, and
thus the situation was saved. London
Standard.
Firmness of Purpose.
Firmness of purpose Is one of the
most necessary sinews of character
I and one of tbe best Instruments of
success. Without it genius wastes its
efforts in a maze of inconsistencies.
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Only Waited His Consent.
He was well dressed and breezy, and
when he entered the private office of
the great tea merchant he looked ca
pable of doing anything from selling
books to writing up insurance.
"I have come, sir," he announced
without hesitation, "to get your con
sent" "Consent for what?" demanded the
old man without looking up.
"Well er you see. your daughter"
"Oh. 1 understand now. So you like
my daughter, eh?"
"I think she is the finest young wo
man I have met in many moons. As
I was saying, if you'll give your con
sent she will have the handsomest"
"Come, come! Don't get vain and
say she'll have tbe finest husband if
she accepts you."
"I'm married, sir. I'm trying to tell
you that If you give your consent she'll
have the handsomest auto runabout in
town. She's dead stuck on It, and If
you'll consent and put up $1,000 cash
we will"
But tbe great tea merchant bad col
lapsed. Chicago News.
A Selfish Proposition.
A frnnf laninn roctilAtit- ir ETnmr
, , BwUwu.uu. .v..v.-u. .... uu. .,..,
made frequent complaints to the mas
ters of the great school there of his
garden being stripped of its fruit, even
before it became ripe, but to uo pur
pose. Tired of applying to the masters for
redress, be at length appealed to the
boys, and. sending for one to his
house, he said: "Now. my good fellow.
I'll make this agreement with you and
your companions. Let the fruit re
main on the trees till it becomes ripe,
aud I promise to give you half."
Tbe boy coolly replied. "I can say
nothing to the proposition, sir. myself,
but will make it known to tbe rest of
tbe boys aud inform you of their de
cision tomorrow."
Next day came and brought with it
this reply: "The gentlemen of Harrow
cannot agree to receive so unequal a
share, since Mr. is an individual
and we are many." London Sketch.
Our Elastic Globe.
Nothing seems more rigid thau the
crust of the earth, but scientific men
tell us that it bends aud buckles ap
preciably under tbe pull of the heaven
ly bodies. Careful observation has
also shown that the shores on opposite
sides of a tidal basin approach each
other at high tide. The weight of
water in the Irish sea, for instauce. is
so much greater at that time that the
bed sinks a trifle and consequently
pulls the Irish and English coasts
nearer together. The buildings of LI'
crpool and Dublin may be fancied as
bowing to each other across the chan
nel, the dellectiou from perpendicular
being about oue inch for every six
teen miles. It has been showu. too.
that ordinary valleys widen under the
heat of the sun and contract again at
night. We live not on a rigid but an
elastic globe.
In a Maori Wooing House.
Among the Maoris sometimes in tbe
whare matoro (tbe wooing house), a
building in which tbe young of both
sexes assembled for play, songs,
dauces. etc.. there would be at stated
times a meeting. When the fires burn
ed low a girl would staud up in the
dark and say: "I love So-and-so. 1
want him for my husband." If be
coughed (sign of assent) or said "Yes"
It was well; if only dead silence, she
covered her head with her robe and
was ashamed. This was not often, as
she generally had managed to ascer
tain either by her own inquiry or by
sending a girl friend if tbe proposal
was acceptable. On tbe other band,
sometimes a mother would attend and
say. "1 want So-aud-so for my sou."
If not acceptable there was generally
mocking, and she was told to let tbe
young people have their house (tbe
wooing house) to themselves.
Pepys and the Comet.
On Dec. 21. 1004. Pepys, the diarist,
records. "My Lord Sandwich this day
writes me word that be batb seen at
Portsmouth the comet and says it is
the most extraordinary thing he ever
saw." Again, three days later, he
writes. "Having sat up all uight till
past 2 o'clock this morning, our porter,
being appoiuted. comes and tells us
that the bellman tells him that the
star is seen upou Tower hill, so 1 aud
my boy to Tower hill, it being a most
fine bright moonshine night and a
great frost, but uo comet to be seen."
Later the same day. however, Pepys
did see the comet, "which now. wheth
er worn away or no. 1 kuow not. ap
pears not with a tail, but only is larger
and duller than any other star."
Westminster Gazette.
Mercury's Accident.
"What's th matter with vour office
boy?"
"He hurt himself while running
when I sent him on an errand tbe
ether day."
"Come off: You don't mean to say"
"I do Hi? never did tbe errand, but
be fouud out whv a horse had fallen
down in the street." Cleveland Leader.
Saving the Oil.
"In Cairo." said a journalist, MI
heard a queer yarn about the fella
bin. The fellabin are tbe native ru
ralists. They are very poor. Well,
when the British built the Egyptian
state railway tlie officials were as
tounded at tbe eaormous quantities of
train oil- that disappeared. They knew
that all this oil couldn't be used for
lubricating purposes, so they made an
Investigation aud found that It bad
become the staple food of the poor
fellabin. Tbe railroad detectives re
ported that tbe fellabin all over
Egypt were using the Egyptian state
railway's train oil as their chief sup
port. They buttered their bread with
train oil. They fried their fish In train
oil. They made a kind of suet pudding
with train oil as a base. They drank
train oil heated as n flesh producer or
builder up. So tbe railway officials
mixed castor oil with the stuff, and
tbe fellabin after a year's torturing
and vaiu effort to acclimate their sys
tems to tbe mixture decided to give
train oil up."
The Giant Bible.
There is in tbe Boy a I library at
Stockholm among other curiosities a
manuscript work known as the giant
Bible on account of its extraordinary
dimensions. It measures 90 centime
ters in length and Is SO centimeters
in breadth-tbat is. about 35 by 19
Inches. It requires three men to lift
it. There are 309 pages, but seven
have been lost The parchment of
which tbe book Is composed required
tbe skins of 1G0 asses. There are two
columns on each page, and the book
contains tbe Old and New Testaments,
with extracts from Josephus. The
initial letters are illuminated. The
binding is of oak, four and one-half
centimeters in thickness. The book
narrowly escaped destruction in the
fire in tbe royal palace of Stockholm
in 1G97. It was saved, but somewhat
damaged, by being thrown out of a
window. London Globe.
The English Manor House Bathroom.
A writer in tbe American Magazine
gives the following directions by which
a visitor may always find tbe house
hold bathroom in an old English man
or house:
"The household bathroom may be
reached by descending tbe narrow
stone steps from tbe second floor back
of the north battlement Follow the
fall In a southeasterly direction until
you come to the armor gallery, then
tuni sharply to the left and follow tbe
corridor to the top. Open the door at
the end of this long hall and take a
half flight of stone steps (Oliver Crom
well once kissed a serving maid in this
dark passage) on the right and pass
into the open hall at the end. You will
easily discover tbe bathroom, because
it is tbe fourth door from the mullion
window, a beautiful piece of glass of
Charles U.'s time."
Didn't Like Course Dinners.
A colored vomati. native of
south, had been working for a
tbe
flat
dwelling family of moderate meaus in
tbe east end. but resigned recently to
accept a place bringing higher wages
with a wealthy family who live iu a
large house ou Euclid heights and
have their dinuer served in courses
every night just as if there was com
pany. This colored womau bad been
brought up to put everything on tbe
table at once, with the exception pos
sibly of the dessert, and did uot take
kindly to the course system. A few
days ago her former mistress met her
on the street and inquired how she
liked her new place.
"Oh. not ve'y well." she replied. "I
don't like this hyah way of su'vln'
things in cou'ses. The's too much
sbiftin o the dishes fo' tbe fewness o
the vittles." Clevelaud Plain Dealer.
The Scotsman's English.
A true specimen of the highland
man's difficulties with the Euglish lan
guage: Farmer (who bad instructed bis
Gaelk shepherd to look for a number
of sheep that had wandered from tbe
fold) Well. Donald, have you found
them?
"Aye. mister."
"Where did you get them?"
"Well, got two by itself, one to
gether and three among one of Mc
Phearson's." London News.
Growing Bananas.
Bananas are. as a rule, planted out
systematically iu rows, tbe "suckers"
being placed at an average of ten feet
apart. Tbe bauana plant bears only
one bunch at a time, but it is a quick
grower, yielding its fruit in twelve to
fourteen mouths. When the plant Is
about six months old a second "suck
er" or shoot is allowed to spring from
the root, a third after tbe ninth month,
and so on. so that after the first year
there is a continuous crop being reaped
Outdone.
"He doted ou Alice aud would have
married her but for her mother."
"Ah! Her mother"
"Yes: her mother was still more at
tractive." Missed Fire.
Putton-Ayres I am caviare to the
general, you kuow. Miss Innocent
Oh. are you really? My brother is in
the military too. Boston Trauscrint
ELIJAH P. BROWN
24
The "Rams Horn Man" will lecture at
CHAUTAUQUA
39SlSJBB5BKjinBVvi
jllinlv S'KLl
It is just simply out of
the question for a young
fellow to find such clothes
as those known as "Col
lege Chap" unless he comes
to us.
The shoulders, thegrace
ful waist, the delightful
lapels, all proclaim them
the clothes "de luxe" for
men who know cleverness
when they see it. Are you
one of these men? We
want to know you.
GREISEN BROS.
Columbus, Neb.
CHAUTAUQUA
ATTRACTION
6 Weiss Egery Company
Big Clocks.
The big clock of the Metropolitan
tower at Madison square, New York.
Is by long odds tbe costliest and most
elaborate public timepiece ever con
structed and is tbe only great clock iu
tbe world operated wholly by electric
ity without the touch of human hands.
Some of Its other wonders are its size,
being the largest four dial tower clock
and the third largest clock of any size
in the world, aud its altitude, which
Is the highest of any clock iu the
world. It has also the biggest and
heaviest striking bell.
Tbe other three largest clocks are
tbe one face dial of the Colgate fac
tory in Jersey City, which is forty feet
across, tbe next iu size of mammoth
public chronometers being the dial at
St Bombort's. in the old city of Ma
lines, in Belgium, which is tliirty-uiuc
feet across. St. Peter's of Zurich,
Switzerland, has a dial face twenty
nine feet, aud then in order comes the
Metropolitan tower clock, which is
twenty-six feet six inches in diameter.
The Origin of the "Marseillaise."
In tbe reign of terror uuder Freron
and Barras. when hundreds of vic
tims were carved by the guillotine and
the people rose against the aristocra
cy, was born the hymn of France,
composed by Itouget de I'lsle. He
was an officer of engineers aud at a
banquet was asked to compose a war
song. He wrote it iu bis room that
night before going to bed. aud tbe
next morning bis hostess, tbe wife of
the mayor of Strassburg. tried It on a
piano, aud iu the afternoon the orches
tra of the theater played It In the
square of Strassburg. where it created
much excitement aud gathered many
volunteers. Itouget called it a song
for tbe Army of tbe Rhine, but subse
quently it was sung by a regiment of
volunteers, mostly assassins, who
marched out of Marseilles to Paris,
where it was appropriated by the cap
ital and called the "Hytnne des Marsel
lais." But.Joseph Itouget. the author,
died in poverty. Desbler Welch In
Harper's Magazine.
Cheerful.
Old Nurse (to newly married couple
after viewing the wedding presents
Well, my dears, you ought to be very
'appy. There ain't a thing amougst 'em
as a pawnbroker wouldn't be pleased
to 'andle. London Puucb.
A Kicker.
"Got a new baby at your bou?-?. bare
jou? Boy or girl?'
"Girl, but she's nu nnarchLsr. She
hasn't done a thing but bowl indignant
protests against existing conditions
since she came." Chicago Tribune.
Tbe understanding Is always the
dupe of the heart La Rochefoucauld.
LOVELAND
Hear this orator-philosopher on "Fol
19 lies cf Fogyism" at
CHAUTAUQUA
"" The Change of a Letter.
At the period when British Columbia
was threatening to withdraw from the
Dominion of Cauada because the Car
narvon settlement had beeu ignored
by the Mackenzie administration the
late Lord Dufferin took part iu a pub
lic function iu Quebec. While the pro
cessiou was moving through the prin
cipal streets a gentleman, breathless
with excitement, hurried up to bis ex
cellency's carriage to say a "rebel"
arch had been placed across the road
so as to identify the viceroy with the
approval of the disloyal inscription
thereon. "Can you tell me what words
there are on the arch?" quietly asked
Dufferin. "Oh. yes." replied his in
formant; "they are 'Carnarvon Terms
or Separation.' " "Send the committee
to me," commanded his excellency.
"Now. gentlemen." said he. with a
smile, to the committee. "I'll go under
your beautiful arch on one condition.
1 won't ask you to do much, and 1 beg
but a trilling favor. I merely ask that
you alter one letter iu your motto.
Turn the S into an ft make it "Car
narvon Terms or Reparation' and 1
will gladly pass under it." Tbe com
mittee yielded, and eventually Dufferin
contrived to smooth ovpr the difficul
ties and to reconcile tbe malcontents.
Odd Street Names.
Iu Clerkeuwell. England, there is a
street called Pickled Egg walk. It
takes its name from Pickled Egg tav
,ern. which formerly stood there aud
made a specialty of serviug pickled
eggs. An interesting London thorough
fare is Hanging Sword alley, which
Is mentioned iu Dickens' "Tale of Two
Cities." London has also Pickleber
ring street. Iu Leicester is a street
called tbe Holy Bones and another
called Callows Tree Gate. Hull has
a street with the extraordinary name
tbe Iand or Green Ginger. Corydon
has a street named Pump Pail, and
there some years ago lived Peter Pot
tle, a dealer in furniture. The most
dariug of farce writers might well
nave hesitated to invent a combination
of name and address so improbable as
that which really belonged to Peter
Pottle of Pump Pail. St. James Ga
zette. Squaring the Circle.
Tbe origin of the problem squaring
tbe circle is almost lost in the mists of
antiquity, but there is a record of an
attempted quadrature in Egypt 500
years before the exodus of the Jews.
There is also a claim, according to
Hone, that the problem was solved by
a discovery of Hipproeates. the geom
etrician of Chios not the physician
500 B. C. Now. the efTorts of Hippoc
rates were devoted toward converting
a circle into a crescent, because he bad
found that the area of a figure pro
duced by drawing two- perpendicular
radii in a circle is exactly equal to the
triangle formed by the line of junc
tion. This is the famous theorem of
tbe "limes of Hippocrates" and is. like
glauber's salts out of tbe philosopher's
stone, au example of the useful results
which sometimes follow a search for
the unattainable.
Power of Imagination.
"The imagination is wonderful," said
a college professor. "1 kuow a Chi
cago man who went last summer to
Asbury Park. lie in a quaint way
proved my point. He didn't reach As
bury Park till 10 o'clock at night, and.
very tired, he turned iu at once. As he
settled bis head comfortably on the
pillow he said to his wife:
"'Listen to the thunder and hiss of
the surges. Maria. 1 haven't heard
that glorious sound for forty years.
No more insomnia nonT
"Aud. indeed, for the first time in
three mouths the man slept like a log.
But when be awoke in tbe morning he
found that tbe uproar which had lulled
him to sleep was the noise of a garage
iu tbe rear of the hotel. The sea was
over a mile away." Detroit Free
Press.
Runciman and Henley.
It Is related that shortly after Runci
man, the well known writer on sea
farers and smugglers and poachers,
had bitterly fallen out with W. E. Hen
ley be 'lay dying iu London. To Hen
ley In Edinburgh, lame and ill. came
an indirect message that Runciman
believed that if Henley would come
and look on him he would get well.
It was a dying man's whimsy, but
Henley took the train from Edinburgh
and arrived in London to find bis
friend dead.
Her Description.
Muggins Women have such queer
ways of expressing themselves! Bug
gius Such as? Muggins Well, my
wife was telling me about Miss Yel
lowleaf and said she was a sight to
behold and iu the very next breath
said she wasn't lit to be seen. Phila
delphia Record.
A Rare Bird Indeed.
"I think I shall Icaru to like that,
friend of yocrs."
"You were favorably impressed by
him. eh?"
"Yes. Indeed. He watched me play
ing billiards for au hour yesterday
without once suggesting bow a sbott
ought to be made." Detroit Free!
Press.
DR. FRANK
L.
Staple and Fancy
GROCERIES
We can supply every want in this
line, and ii it something new on the
market, you will find it here.
IN CANNED GOODS
We have the best the market affords
which includes the leading brands.
Fruits and Vegetables
If they are to be had in the city you
can get them at the
&(WwReiHuil
GEO. L. M'NUTT, D. P. M.
The eloquent pieacher who left his
pulpit to don overalls and work in a
factory to get acquainted with labor
condit"-ns. Coming to 10
CHAUTAUQUA
The Social Breakfast.
A London newspaper wonders why
we no longer invite people to break
fast. The reason is to be fouud iu the
Etate of mind that usually possesses
tbe free aud iudeieudeut citizen at
that hour iu the morning, a state of
mind that makes him unbearable to
himself and to every one who comes
near him. Presumably It was not ever
so, for invitations to breakfast were
once common enough, aud uot so long
ago cither. Mr. Gladstoue used to
have guests to breakfast every Thurs
day morning as recently as 1S8-1. and
It was thought sufficient to supply tea
and coffee, eggs, bread and butter and
perhaps some cold meat. ISnt the
really solid breakfast had come into
fashion long before then, and it is
said that the English learned the fash
ion from the Scotch. Motley, when he
was ambassador to England, found
that the substantial breakfast was
grievously opposed to the simpler cus
toms of his own country. He says.
"When I reflected that all these ieo
ple would lunch at - and dine at 8 I
bowed my bead in humiliation, and tbe
fork dropped from my nerveless
grasp." Argonaut.
Tried to Fly.
John Milton in "Britain to the Cou
quest" says that the youth King Har
old, last of tbe Saxons, strangely as
piring, had made and fitted wings to
his hands aud feet. With these, on the
top of a tower, spread out to gather
the air. he flew more than a furlong;
but, the wind being too high, he came
fluttering to tbe grouud. maiming all
his limbs, yet so conceited was be of
his art that the cause of his fall was
attributed to the want of a tail, as
birds have, which he forgot to make.
His Recommendation.
Tom Hello. Hill! 1 hear you have a
position with my friends Skinner &
Co.? Bill -Oh. yes; I have a position
as collector there. Turn That's first
rate. Wlm recommended youV Bill
Ob. nobody. I told them that I once
collected an account from you. and
they instantly gave me the place.
& - i vr .-- - cvL-'' rJHeBlBiK
" .';?Srr'-laifciBflB-iEa
UoEKHBllif
Better Plumbing
I
TVTANY homes should have better bath rooms
than they now have. Wc have always
tried not only to do better
plumbing than we ever did
before, but better than any
body else can do. The vol
ume of work we are now
doing shows how we are suc
ceeding. We use only genuine HMtfweT
plumbing fixtures and employ only
experienced workmen. Our repair
ing service is prompt and reliable.
i
A. DUSSEIA, & SON
mr
Col
; t
A Beautiful Lake.
Perhaps the most striking Instance
to be seen iu tbe whole world of tbe
wonderful apparent coloring of bodies
of water l the murvelously beautiful
Blue lake in Switzerland. Encom
passed ou all sides by lofty inouutaius.
their lower ranges luxuriuntly clothed
vith verdure down to the edge of the
water and ndorued with many fine for
est trees, while their higher acclivities
are garbed iu a mantle of eternal snow,
the little lake, uestllng In Its deep hol
low basin and protected from winds
and storms., is quite startling in its
singular and strange beauty. The
water, although really pure and color
less, appears to be of a most vivid aud
intense sky blue. And Its transparency
is so remarkable tbut a small nickel
coin dropped iuto tbe water in tbe
ceuter of the lake cau be seen gyrat
ing downward until It reaches tbe bot
tom, apparently more than a hundred
feet beneath.
Working Him.
"I want the office, of course." said
the aspiring statesman, "but not uuless
1 1 am tbe people's choice."
"We can fix that, too," said his cam
paign manager, "only you know it's a
good deal more expensive to be the
people's choice than it is to go in as
the compromise candidate." Chicago
Tribune.
Friendship.
Friendship is a vase which wbeu It
is flawed by beat or violence or acci
dent may as well be broken at ouce
It can uever be trusted again. The
more graceful and ornamental it was
the more clearly do we discern the
hopelessuc&s of restoring it to Its for
mer state.
A Continued Story.
"What did your wife say when you
stayed out so late last uight':"
"1 don't know. She husu't finished
telling It all to me yet." Detroit Free
Press.
Iu this wqrld It is not what we take
up. but what we give up. that makes
us rich. - Heerber.
The Chautauqua Approaches
Have Yt)U Your
SEASON TICKET
13
CHAUTAUQUA
Pla . NOW for that Vacation you have
been promising yourcsif
Tickets at Principal Business Houses
TTeweX?!!7Diivi
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