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The Real Automobile House
Plant Mirers.
All leaf buds, whether underground
or on the ban branches of winter, are
plant savings put aside from the su
perfluity of summer against the pro
verbial rainy day. The starch of
which such organisms consist is to the
plant what his savings are to the pru
dent man. and the common potato is
one of the greatest misers of the vege
table world in this respect, for almost
the whole of the tuber is made up of
starch food, left as a legacy to the
young plants represented by the
"eyes." This is true of all plants that
grow from bulbs.
Some go further, for they run a sav
ings bank in the shape of a taproot,
which, if left undisturbed, grows lar
ger year by year, to be drawn upon in
seasons of drought when other means
of subsistence are exhausted. Among
these are primroses, carrots, beetroot
and turnips, and with these three last
this faculty of saving has been devel
oped by man to make the plants a
source of profit to himself.
The First Tooth Festival.
Among the Syrians there is no such
thing as giving a party in celebration
of the first anniversary of the birth of
a child. The celebration is held when
the baby cuts its first tooth. On such
an occasion friends of the parents are
not' invited to the house to eat cakes
and listen to a phonograph, but what
ever sweets may be prepared for the
occasion are sent by the parents to the
homes of the friends whom they wish
to inform of the news. The friends
later visit the parents and tender their
congratulations. The dishes in which
the sanainieh is carried to neighbors
and friends are not returned immedi
ately. Sometimes it is :i week or even
two before they are back in their cus
tomary places in the family cupboard.
When they are returned they are not
empty.
History of Anatomy.
The way in which we are so "fear
fully and wonderfully made" was
largely a mystery to the ancients. It
may be said that anatomical science
was practically unknown prior to Aris
totle. 384 B. C. Before that date near
ly all that was known of anatomy was
derived from the dissection of the low
er animals. Aristotle did something
In the way of science, but it was not
until 'the time of the famous Alexan
drian school, a century before and a
century after the birth of Christ, that
the anatomy of man began to be fair
ly understood. The Ptolemies were
great patrons of the science and were
the first who enabled physicians free
ly to dissect the human body, thus
frustrating the ignorant superstition
which had been so long compromising
the welfare of humanity. Exchange.
The Holland Primrose.
There Is a plant in Ilollaud known
as the evening primrose, which grows
to a height of five or six feet and
bears a profusion of large yellow flow
ers so brilliant that they attract im
mediate attention, even at a great dis
tance, but the chief peculiarity about
the plant is the fact that the flowers.
which open just before sunset, burst
into bloom so suddenly that they give
one the impression of some magical
agency. A man who has seen l lite
sudden blooming says it is just as it
some one had touched the laud with a
wand and thus covered It all at once
with a golden sheet.
A Terrible Threat.
Customer That tea service cost? SC
marks. That is more than I can pay.
His Wife (whispering) If I should
have a fainting spell among all this
china it would cost you far more.
Fliegende Blatter.
Living will teach you how to live
"better than preacher or book. Goethe.
K-.
WjtffW
MJ
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See that
That is distinctive of
Cooper.Wclls&Cos
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DOMESTIC ECONOMY.
Feeding a Family of Five en $4 a
Week.
"My husband," said the woman with
the optimistic face, "gives me $4 a
week for keeping up the table for our
family, and it Is simply wonderful
how we do IL"
"I should think so," observes the wo
man with the grim smile. "How big
a family have you?"
"My husband, myself, three boys and
one girl."
"And you keep up your table with
$4 a week? What do you have?"
"For breakfast we have a cereal,
fruit, coffee and sometimes bacon and
eggs; for luncheon cold meats or cro
quettes or something made of the left
overs from dinner the night before and
a simple dessert; for dinner we have
a soup, chicken or roast meat, two
vegetables, a salad, coffee and a des
sert"
"My goodness! What prices do you
pay for groceries and meats?"
"Mercy me! I never ask. I Just tel
ephone to the grocer and meat man
and tell them what 1 want, and my
husband gets the bills the' first of the
month."
"But I thought you said be allowed
you only $4 a week?"
"So he does, and by charging nearly
everything, do you know, I actually
save $8 or $10 a mouth from that al
lowance!" Judge's Library.
THE ENGLISH NAVY.
Fighting Ships Used to Be Hired Out
In Times of Peace.
In the earliest times of the British
navj' there was practically no distinc
tion between the merchantman and
the man-of-war. In the rare times of
peace men-of-war traded as merchant
men, while merchantmen always went
armed. Thus in time of war the
trader became the warship, aud vice
versa. From the time of the conquest
and probably earlier down to the days
of Elizabeth this was the ordinary
practice. Elizabeth hired out ships of
the navy for all sorts of purposes,
from piracy to slave trading, taking
her share of the profits when the ven
ture was successful and disclaiming
all responsibility when it wasn't
Henry III., who may be described as
the originator of the navy as a special
fighting force, hired out the ships spe
cially built for the navy In times of
peace and even allowed them to be
taken away from their appointed sta
tions provided that the hirers depos
ited due security for the return of the
ships with their tackle and ail equip
ment in a proper state of efficiency
The practice ceased after the repulse
of the Spanish armada, when the fight
ing ships, as such, became distinct
from the trader. Loudon Globe.
Two Strange Coincidences.
A structure known as Stoodley Pike.
which stands ninety yards high and Is
situated near Ilebdeu bridge, England,
has a remarkable history. It was
built in 1S14 to commemorate the peace
of Ghent Singular to relate, however.
It fell on the very day that the Rus
sian ambassador left England prior to
the Crimean war. Rebuilt by public
subscription, it withstood storm and
rain for half a century, but on the
same day that the British government
Issued its ultimatum to the Boers It
was struck by lightning and badly
damaged. These unique coincidences
have strangely perplexed local people.
Strand Magazine.
Pandemonium.
"They are going to lock Jones up for
the good of the community."
"What's he done?"
"He's talking of setting Browning's
poems to Richard Strauss' music."
Cleveland Leader.
i.tattV
g '"iii
kl
Notlmn
But Lots of
Hard Wear
in Them.
505 Eleventh Street
Columbus
AN EASY VICTORY.
Hew an Obstinate English Lard Wat
Outwitted In Naples.
Lord Charles Hamilton used to go
about Naples attended by a large, fe
rocious bulldog. Having decided upon
going to Borne, he proceeded to the
station and took bis place In a first
class carriage, the "dawg" taking up
a position on a seat opposite bis mas
ter. The platform inspector, with
many gesticulations, declared that the
bulldog should not travel in a passen
ger carriage.
"Very well, then; take him out," was
Lord Charles' rejoinder.
In vain the official expostulated. He
merely reiterated his former reply, a
piece of advice it is needless to say
which was not followed, and Lord
Charles, apparently master of the sit
uation, threw himself back in bis seat
and calmly lighted a cigar.
But the Italians were not to be out
done, and, quietly detaching the car
rlage In which the English "mllor"
was seated, they made up the tram
with another compartment and started
it off.
Lord Charles sat quietly smoking for
about a quarter of an hour and then,
surprised at the delay, thrust his head
out of the window and demanded
when the train was going to start His
feelings when the situation was de
scribed to him may be imagined. Lon
don Tit-Bits.
A WONDERFUL DREAM.
The Poor Cobbler Who Found Him
self Upon a Throne.
It was in the days of Philip the
Good, duke of Burgundy, that a cob
bler mounted a royal throne. As the
duke was traveling one night to
Bruges he came upon a man stretched
upon the ground sound asleep and
bade bis attendants carry him to the
palace, strip off bis rags and place
him, robed in fine linen, la his owi
bed.
When the man awoke next morning
he was addressed as "your highness"
and astounded to find himself among
such rich surroundings. In vain be
protested that be was no prince, but a
poor cobbler. They asked him what
clothing be would wear and at last
conducted bim, splendidly dressed, to
mass in the ducal chapel. Every cere
mony was observed throughout the
day. The cobbler appeared in public
in his new role, was received on all
sides by command of the duke with
deep respect aud ended bis brief reign
in the palace with a grand supper and
ball.
When presently he fell asleep he
was reclotbed lu his rags and taken to
the spot where be bad been found
when this practical joke was con
ceived. Waking in due time, be re
turned borne and related to his wife
what he took to be bis wonderful
dream.
Sacred Nuts of Japan.
Although well known to travelers
and collectors of curiosities, the born
nut, or "sacred nut." of Japan was al
most wholly unknown to fruit and nut
dealers in this country prior to 1888.
when a New York commission mer
chant received the first large consign
ment. They are called "sacred nuts"
because used In certain forms of Jap
anese worship, where they are placed
on the altar and Ignited. Being very
rich in oil they burn with a hot; bluish
flame and give off a peculiar odor, the
fumes being supposed to rise as an ac
ceptable incense to the gods. They
grow uuder water and have a leaf like
an American lily, the form of the nut
itself being an almost exact counter
part of an Asian buffalo's bead, droop
ing horns and all. In the raw state
they are hard and tasteless, but when
cooked the flavor resembles that of
boiled chestnuts. They are said to re
tain their edible qualities for upward
of twenty years.
Vanished Mountains.
It has been observed that In the
neighborhood of great ranges of moun
tains the force of gravity Is slighter
than elsewhere, and the explanation Is
that the earth's crust Is less deuse be
neath the places where it has been
heaved up. Assuming this to be a
general law. one authority points out
that It Is possible to discover wlrre
ancient mountains now worn away
and leveled by the action of the ele
ments once existed, .because the den
sity of the underlying rocks has not
changed. France. It Is thought, pos
sessed one of these vanished ranges,
running along the parallel of Bor
deaux, for on that line there Is a less
?ulug of the force of gravity. A simi
lar phenomenon occurs on the plains
of southern Russia. Harper's Weekly.
Damascus, "City of Magic"
An oriental city of magic called up
by a slave of the lamp to realize one's
dream of the orient; a city ethereally
lovely, exquisitely eastern, ephemera1,
to be blown away by a breath like a
tuft of thistledown, not white, bo
delicately pale with a pallor holding
the faintest hint of a seasbell flush; a
city slender, calm, almost mystic hi Its
fragile grace, set in the heart of a
great wonder of greeu. a maze of
bright and ardent woods, beyond
which lie the desert spaces this Is
Damascus from the mountain of Jebel
Kasyun. It holds one almost breath
less seen thu3 from afar. Robert
Hlchens In Century.
An English Election.
Remarks the London Chronicle:
"The worst of election expenses is that
the candidate can never be sure what
sort of pig in a poke he is buying.
The parliament may run its full term
or It may come to an end after a few
months. Even if it huts the game
may be decidedly not worth the can
dle. Sir Mountstuart Grant Duff gives
a poiguant little Incident of the weari
some struggle over the coercion bill
In 1881. 'When things were at their
dullest and deadliest Stuart Rendel
heard a man as be rolled off his seat
in the extremity of weariness say.
-And to think that I should have paid
7.000 for this!" "
As Ever.
"When Cbolly Van Rox proposed to
me be was too rattled to say a word."
"Then bow did you know be was
proposing?"
"Ob, my dear, his money did all the
talking!" Cleveland Leader.
KEELHAOintQL "
An OM Tim Fernt ef Punishment Fee
Offending Sailers.
Very few persona know what keel
hauling is. but before the advent of
steam it waa a recognized form of
punishment for offending sailors and
more to be dreaded than even the cat
o' nine tails.
A line waa passed beneath the ship
from port to starboard aide, leaving
about a foot of' alack under the keel.
The unfortunate' taUS feet were se
curely tied together and his arms
lashed behind bis back. In this help
less condition he was attached to the
end of the line and dropped overboard
la the' smothering seas to be hauled
along under the ship, bumping and
scraping against the bottom In the
process until he was yanked up on the
opposite side. The punishment was
repeated until the victim became un
conscious from fright or bruises, and
sometimes by a refinement of cruelty
be was allowed to remain under the
ship for a full minute until be was all
but drowned. The ship never was
stopped while a sailor was being keel
hauled, and If sometimes the strain on
the line was too great and It parted,
leaving nun to go down bound and
helpless to an ocean grave, nobody
was held responsible for bis death, but
it was reported hi the log as an "act
of Providence."
Keelhauling was great sport for the
captain and mates, but the mariner
who once survived the experience took
good care never to do anything to
merit such a terrible punishment
again. New York 'Press.
HIS WIFE'S TRIUMPH.
A Memento That Waa Inspiring
to
John Richard Green.
It has been the fate of many men of
letters to have ill health bearing them
down as they struggle on toward lit
erary achievements. Thus beset in re
cent times were Stevenson, Richard
Jeffries and J. R. Green. Each of
these, it bappenedbad a high hearted
wife to keep him up. even to help him
with the actual labor of writlBg. "The
Life and Letters of J. R. Green" show
forth a great and, sweet man. They
show, too, a wife whose sympathy and
fortitude helped to make his accom
plishment possible.
In copying the vast amount of manu
script of ber husband's books Mrs.
Green contracted writer's cramp and
was forced to stop using ber right
band. This looked like a Inal obsta
cle in the way of the Invalid, who did
much of his thinking hi bed and could
not write himself. But Mrs. Green
set to work at once learning to write
with her left hand.
One of her first practice pages, which
she was about to destroy with the rest,
her husband took, quietly and put in
his pocket Years afterward when HI
health seemed unbearable and In dis
couragement he felt that be could not
work he used to take out that piece of
paper, a living record of his wife's tri
umph over difficulty. When be saw
the painful, patient strokes by which
Mrs. Green bad learned to write with
her left hand he could work on with
something near to. inspiration.
Peisen ef the Centlped.
The centlped is popularly supposed
to carry a sting on each foot, but I
have several times bandied one after
its head was removed without the
claws producing any result. It is the
first pair of claws only that are ven
omous, being hollow and provided with
poison bags like a snake's fang. The
largest I ever, saw was eleven inches
In length, a grewsome creature. A bite
from one of this size would most like
ly have been fatal to a man In weak
health. The tarantula, though his
powers of offense are nothing like
those of the scorpion or centlped, is,
however, a more unpopular character
than either. The horror of these huge
spiders entertained by many people Is
curious and unaccountable. I have
seen Australian bushmen, who in
everyday life scarcely seemed to un
derstand danger, turn white as a sheet
at the sight of a small "trlantelope,"
as they called It-rChambers' Journal
Practice and Preaching.
When the bite Bishop Hare was pre
siding over a . Methodist Episcopal
church In New York city a large re
ception was given hi his honor to
which a brother of his, a lawyer, who
closely resembled the bishop, was in
vited. During the evening a member of the
conference who' bad never met the
bishop's brother approached bun and,
shaking him warmly by the hand,
said:
"Good evening. Bishop Hare. 1 great
ly enjoyed the sermon you gave us to
day. Jit Is just what this church
needs."
"You are mistaken In the person,"
said the brother, smiling, as he point
ed to the bishop on the opposite side
of the room, "that is the man who
preaches. I practice."
A Long Job.
"Where have you been for so long?"
asked the head man of the menagerie.
"Been watching one of the animals
dear his throat, sir." replied the at
tendant "But does It take half an hour for an
annual to clear Its throat?"
"Yes. sir; It was the giraffe, sir."
Yonkers Statesman.
Mean.
The Bride (from Chicago) This ii
my third bridal tour. The Groom
Well, my dear. I hope that it will be
your last The Bride (bursting Intc
tears) You selfish thing! Puck.
Every own should keep a fair sized
cemetery In" which to bury the faults
of Us fritadSwHenry Ward Beecaer.
Pert Suggestion.
Mr. Boastem I often regret that 1
did not attend some college and ac
quire a little -more polish. Miss Cut
ting Huts Why don't you hire some
brass finisher to rub you up a trifle ?
New Orleans Picayune.
Back te Work.
Ella That clumsy fellow has been s
conductor. Stella How do you know?
EUa When I said something about bis
being on my train be said. "Tickets,
please." New York Press.
If yoa don't do better todsy you'll
do worse tonorrow.Loomls. .
THE ADAM'S APPLE.
An Important Organ That Helps te
Protect the Brain.
One of the most remarkable pieces
of mechanism in the human system, a
device which anticipated several of
our modern patents, is the Adam's ap
ple, which for ages physicians consid
ered a sort of freak of nature with
out any material use In the human
economy. But . how differently this
little device is considered today!
If we had no Adam's apple there
would have been more deaths from
apoplexy and brain disorder than ever
chronicled In history. Instead of be
ing a useless organ this article serves
as an Important storage system to
protect the brain.
For Instance, when we are excited
or too animated the heart pumps tho
blood up to the brain a little too fast
and if if could not be stopped by some
automatic device death or brain dis
ease would follow. The Adam's ap
ple is the blood storage cistern which
intercepts the rapid flow and holds
the surplus blood.
Again, if the supply from the heart
runs short and the brain Is likely to
suffer from an insufficient supply the
storage cistern gives up its surplus
of blood. Thus this organ acts au
tomatically to check and Increase the
flow of the blood to the brain, protect
ing that organ from damage through
our temporary excesses. learson's
Weekly.
SQUARING THE CIRCLE.
An Ancient Problem That Has Turned
Many Brains Dizzy.
The oldest of problems is that of
squaring the circle L e., of telling the
precise length of the side of a square
whose area will equal the area of a
given circle.
The first attempt we know of was
made 500 years before the exodus of
the Jews. Since at least 1300 B. C.
Chinese brains have turned dizzy over
It The oldest mathematical book In
the world written about 2000 B. C.
by Ahmes, scribe to an Egyptian king,
and now resting In the British mu
seumpretends to solve It, but It
doesn't Our old friend Euclid pru
dently avoids the subject
Books have been written to prove
that It Is Impossible, others to prove
the Impossibility of proving its Im
possibility, others again to prove the
impossibility of proving Its possibility.
One scientist, a professor of Zurich,
adopted some fifty years ago a rather
original method of tackling the prob
lem. He divided the floor of a great
loft Into thousands of small squares
and spent bis days hi solemnly throw
ing needles about and noting the num
ber of times they fell clear of the
chalk lines, but It did not help bim
much.
The important ratio which would set
tle the question has been carried to
COO places of decimals. And still it is
not exact If you have a taste for
sums you can start and carry it to GOO
and see what happens.
At any rate, you will soon find your
hair getting grayer. London Answers.
A HUMILIATED MONKEY.
The Crippled Old Despot Was Made to
Feel His Mighty Fall.
The following amusing story Is told
by J. L. Kipling in his "Man and Beast
In India" of the humiliation of a mon
key whom physical disablement pre
vented from maintaining his despotic
position as leading male of the troop:
"One morning there came a monkey
chieftain, weak and limping, having
evidently been worsted In a severe
fight with another of his own kind.
One band hung powerless, bis face
and eyes bore terrible traces of bat
tle, and he hlrpled slowly along with
a pathetic air of suffering, supporting
himself on the shoulder of a female
a wife, the only member of his clan
that bad remained faithful to bim aft
er bis defeat
"We threw them bread and raisins,
and the wounded warrior carefully
stowed the greater part away In his
cheek pouch. The faithful wife, see
ing her opportunity, holding fast bis
one sound band and opening his
mouth, deftly scooped ont the store of
raisins. Then she sat and ate them
very calmly at a safe distance, while
he mowed and chattered In Impotent
rage.
"He knew that without ber help he
could not reach home and was fain to
wait with what patience he might till
the raisins were finished. This was
probably her first chance of disobedi
ence or of self assertion In her whole
life, and I am afraid she thoroughly
enjoyed it."
How Long Your Nails Grow.
The growth of an average finger nail
Is about one thirty-second of an Inch
a week, or nearly one and one-half
Inches in a year, so those aristocratic
Chinese who proudly exhibit nails six
to eight Inches In length must have
refrained from cutting them at least
four to six years. Finger nails grow
faster In the summer than In winter.
The nail on the middle finger grows
faster than any of the others, and that
of the thumb Is slowest in growth.
The nails of the right band grow fast
er than those of the left A nail Is
supposed to reach its full growth In
about four and a half months, and at
this rate a man seventy years old
would have renewed bis nails 2G2
times. On each finger be would have
grown nine feet of nail, or on ail his
fingers and thumbs no less than ninety
feet of nail. St Louis Republic.
Odd Signs.
A tinman In the south of England
has a sign which reads, "Quart Meas
ures of All Shapes and Sizes Sold
Here."
At a market town In the midlands
the following placard was affixed to
the shutters of a watchmaker who had
decamped, leaving his confiding cred
itors mourning: "Wound Up and the
Mainspring Broke."
In one of the principal streets of
another small town the same shop was
occupied by a doctor and a shoemak
er, the man of medicine having the
front and he of the leather working in
the rear. Over the door Ivyng the sign.
"We Repair Both Body aim Sole."
On the window of a coffee room
there one day appeared the uotice,
"This Coffee Room Removed Upstairs
2111 Repaired."
SPECIAL OFFERING
in Suits and Skirts for Saturday
and Monday. April 2 and 4
Careful dressers cannot afford to pass this great as
sortment of tailor made suits, skirts and capes, made of
the finest fabrics, the best of trimmings, the highest
order of tailoring, the most perfect fitting garments it is
possible to construct.
We can't begin to tell the story of the various styles,
which include all that is correct in the world of Fashion.
Ladies' New Spring: Suits, Special Values at
$12,50, $15.00, $17.50, $20.00, $25.00
Ladies' and Children's Capesat
$5.00, $7.50, $10.00, $12.50, $15.00
Ladies' Skirts, price
$3,50, $5.00, $6.00, $7.50, $12.50, $15.00
SPECIAL INDUCEMENT
For you to purchase a Ladies' Suit at our store. Next
Saturday and Monday, April 2nd and 4th,
This Ad is worth $2.50 to You
Any person making a purchase of a $15.00, $17.50,
$20.00, $22.50, $25.00 or $30.00 Ladies' suit on April the
2nd and 4th, and bringing this ad with them, it will be
counted the'same as $2.50 in cash. You must bring the ad
BflO0k pU00000k PJOOBJpL ySflLayajr If V
AN INFANT PRODIGY.
fir John Evelyn's Tribute to His Wen-
derful Child.
Of all the stories of Infant marvels
the most touching is that told by Sir
John Evelyn in bis diary when be re
cords in bis quaint, dignified style the
death of bis wonderful little boy:
"Died my deare son Richard, to our
Inexpressible griefe aud affliction, five
years and three days onely, but at that
tender age a prodigy for witt aud
learning. To give only a little taste
of them and thereby glory to God.
sense of God. at two and a halfe old
he could perfectly reade any of ye
English Latine or French or Gothic
letters, pronouncing the first three
languages exactly. He bad before the
fifth yeare or In that yeare got by
heart almost the entire vocnbularie of
Latin and French primitives and
words, culd make congruous syntax,
turne English Into Latine. and vice
versa, construe and prove what be
read and did the government aud use
of relatives, verbes. substantives,
ellpses and many figures and tropes
aud made considerable progress in Co
meuius .lamia, began for himself to
write legibly and bad a stronge pas
sion for Greek. As to bis piety, aston
ishing were his applications of Scrip
ture to the occasion. He declaimed
against ye vanities of the world before
be bad seeue an'. So early know!
edge, so much piety and perfection!
Such a child I never saw. and for
such a child I blesse God. in whose
bosom he is." Exchange.
HELPING A SCULPTOR.
The Favor Falguiere Did For Young
Macmonnies.
When Macmonnies, the American
sculptor, was a young man working In
Paris Falgulere. the famous French
sculptor, on one occasion entered his
atelier and found there a beautiful
Diana that had been for months "on
the stocks" and was aoDroacbiuir a
perfection measurably satisfactory to J
the sculptor himself.
Falgulere became so absorbed in the
work before bim as to forget that It
was not his own. He began to twist
and pull the daiuty limbs of Diana this
way and that, to punch her In the ribs,
turn her queenly bead for she was
then only In clay, of course, and sus
ceptible to impressions until at last
he bad produced the very pose be de
sired. There, my friend; I like her
better so." he cried, and skipped out
of the studio.
He bad really Intended to do Mac
monnies a favor and had indeed paid
him the greatest compliment of which
he was capable, but the young sculp
tor was in distress, for on comparing
the remodeled Diana with a photo
graph of Falguiere's statue of the
same character he found the French
man had unconsciously made a prac
tical replica of the other. Macmon
nies did not rest until be bad restored
his statue to its original pose.
Billy Rice and a Pin.
Billy Rice, the negro minstrel, used
to tel! the :Uory of a man who picked
up n pin as he was leaving the office
of a great merchant after an unsuc
cessful quest for work. The mer
chant, seeing the man's action from
the window, called bim back and gavel
bim employment, which kindness he I
reoaid bv becoming owner of the en-'
tire business In an incredibly short
time.
Billy used to end his story by say
ing that be tried that scheme once
when he was looking for work, drop
ping a pin carefully on the floor aa
be entered. He stated bis wants to
the proprietor, who not only bad no
employment to offer him, but remark
ed to bis partner as Rice picked np
the pin:
"Say, if that fellow's so small as to
steal a pin off the floor, now much do
you think he'd leave in my tilll"
A Permanent Pesitien.
"Mr. Smith." spoke up the young
lawyer, "I come here as a representa
tive of your neighbor Tom Jones, with
the commission to collect a debt due
him."
"I congratulate you," answered Mr.
Smith, "on obtaining so permanent a
Job at such an early stage In your ca
reer." Success Magazine.
HIS TAPESTRIES.
The
Gems the Collector Bought
and
Showed to the Expert.
That the collector fulls into a trap
occasionally is shown by an episode
which we recall. Au eutbusiustic pur
chaser of old taiestries was once of
fered in Paris a masterpiece executed
on a large si-ale and held at a large
figure. Consulting an expert, lie was
urged to buy. but the sum demanded
seemed to him at the moment a good
deal to Invest In a taiestry. and lie
let the opportunity pass.
A year or so later lie met his friend,
the exitert aforesaid, and asked him to
come to Ids house to look at two tapes
tries lie had just secured. "They are
smaller." he said, "than the one you
advised me to buy aud which, to tell
the truth. I have always regretted, and
I paid twice as much for them as I
was asked to pay for that glorious
piece, but while it seemed a fearful
lot of money to spend I simply couldn't
resist the chance."
The specialist In tapestries walked
Into the gallery of the proud collector
and gazed upon his prizes. He gazed
for a time in silence and then bad to
be very guarded in his speech of con
gratulation. He was looking at the
original tapestry, which his friend
could have had for half the money.
now neatly cut in two ami supplied
with borders. He never revealed to
tho victim of this ingenious little game
what precisely had happened. New
York Tribune.
A TRYING ORDEAL
The Fattening Process of a Marriage
able Girl In Tunis.
The marriageable girl In Tunis has a
trying ordeal to go through after her
betrothal to the man not of her choice,
but whose choice she Is. She has to be
fattened to the required size before the
ceremony can take place.
As soon as the betrothal takes place
she is taken to u room and there coop
ed up till the fattening process is con
cluded. Silver shackles are fastened
round her wrists and ankles, and the
task of her parents and future hus
band Is to Increase her bulk till her
wrists and ankles fill up the shackles.
If the husband Is a widower or has
"discharged" his first wife the girl has
the shackles of the first spouse placed
on her, and she must fill them out.
It takes a long time to do this as a
rule, and sometimes it cannot be ac
complished in spite of ail efforts. It is
then open to the future husband to cry
off the bargain or waive the condition.
In the case of a bachelor he takes care
to see that the bracelets and auklets
are not too large that is, if he is fond
of the girl but If he is being forced
Into the marriage by his parents he is
a great stickler for custom. Stout
girls arc the more quickly snapped up
In Tunis. St. James' Gazette.
Wrong Diagnosis.
Mrs. Slingchin put her head over the
fence and thus addressed her neigh
bor, who was hanging out her wash
ing: "A family has moved Into the empty
house across the way, Mrs. Mangle."
"Yes, I know."
"Did you notice the furniture?"
"Not particularly."
"Two loads, and,I wouldn't give a
sovereign a load for It Carpets? I
wouldn't put 'em down In my kitchen.
And the children! I won't allow mine
to associate with 'em. And the mot fi
eri She looks as if she had never
known a day's happiness. The father
drinks. I expect. Too bad that such
people should come into this neighbor
hood. I wonder who they are."
"I know 'em."
"Do you? Well. I declare! Who are
they?'
"The mother Is my sister, and the
father is the superintendent of the
Sunday school."
"Oh ah urn! Do you think It's going
to rain:"
Unconscious Self Criticism.
Mr. X.. the subeditor, was asked tc
write au article on superstition and
Imbecility.
When the article was printed the
opening sentence was found to be as
follows: "That Imbecility is not on the
wane perusal of the following lines
will amply demonstrate." Paris Figaro.
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