Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (March 16, 1910)
Powered by OpenONI
I ' J vJr 1 m J- JL JLL iffiKSKalb
TIk; story opens with the introduction
iif John Stephens, adventurer, h Mas.sa
iim:jrits man marooned by authorities at
Valparaiso. Chile. Being Interested In
in:ninp operations in Bolivia, hi was de
injoiKd ly Chile as an insurrectionist
rid :t;. a consequence was hiding- At ids
iiotxM liis attention was attracted by nn
irilinluiian and a young woman,
hleiihens rescued tho young woman from
n drunken officer. Tfe was thanked by
her. Admiral of Uro Peruvian navy con-
runted Stephens, told him that war had
been declared between Chile and Peru
unci offered him the ofhco of captain. He
ueslrol that that night the Esmeralda, n.
i:ink-.:n vessel, should be captured.
Ktepbens accepted the commission.
H!c niicns met a. motley crew, to which he
.VH.-I assigned. He gave them linal in
structions. They boarded the vessel. They
successfully captured the vessel supposed
bo the Esmeralda, through strategy,
t'apt. Stephens gave dlrectior-s for the de
parture of the craft He entered the cab
In and discovered the Knglish woman
itnd her maid. Stephens quickly learned
(he wrong vessel had been captured.
It was Iord Darlington's private yacht.
I be lord's wife and maid being aboard.
JIo explained the situation to her lady
tiip. Then Kirst Mate Tuttle laid bare
iic plot, saying that the Sea Queen had
!-"n taken In order lo go to the Antarc
tic circle. Tultle explained that on a
former voyage he had learned thnt the
;nn:i Isabel was lost in 17T.2. He had
found it frozen In ft huge case of lie
n an island and contained much gold.
Stephens consented to be ttie captain
..f Hie. expedition. lie toltl Lady
t'ariinglon. Slie was greatly alarmed.
Jul expressed confidence in him. The
ri'-i Oueen encountered :i wssel In the
ritr. Stephens attempted tr communicate.
Tins caused a fierce struggle and hi was
overcome. Tultle finally squaring the sit-
iliim. Then the Sea Queen headed south
ii;ain. Under Tuttle'.s guidance the ves
'."I made progress toward its goal.
CHAPTER XIV. Continued.
T would like to have taik wiz you.
Mons. Stephens." ho said. quite re
iccl fully, swaying lo the wild leaps
if the vessel. "Maybe if we go to ze
lee of zc cabin here we'll he out or ze
I followed him in silence, wondering
what could be coming now. yet ready
enough to take advantage of any op
portunity which might present itself.
Ce Nova braced his back against the
i.til, his cap drawn so low lhat I could
perceive little of his face but the glit
ter of black eyes.
'We're a little bit be.-v.eicd w'at lo
do. Anderson an" me." he began, evi
dently ill at ease and scarcely know
ing how to express himself, "an' so we
r;ilk it ovaire. an' decide maybe we
bettah speak wiz you about it now. be
fore ze mattaire get inor" bad, or ze
men forward catch on to ze facts an
set ugly. Maybe it come out all right,
maybe not. but, by gar, it ain't no
uzc job to go sail 'bout ze?e seas tra
iler a madman sacre. non!"
"A madman!" I echoed in amazc
n:ent. "Do you mean Tuttle?"
He nodded gravely, his expression
levoid of all merrimcnL
"Tis ze way it was. We not know
sure w'ezzer you see it zat way or no,
but. damme. Mons. Stephens, if ze
follow ain't mad as ze March hare. He
was. ze fine sailor all right oui. zat
was true nobody get more out or ze
Hea Queen zan ho get. Saere! he
drive ze sheep hard: it make my hair
white ze way he hoi" on. Maybe I not
be 'fraid to take ze chance of ze voy
ngo if it just be all men on board. I
not care, zen, for I risk my life wiz ze
oilers. But. monsieur. I keep myself
sink of ze ladies down below, an
bow zat fellow was gettin more crazy
ill zo time. Sacre! it makes me
rrasy. too. Zere's no knowiit w'at he
do w'en he zat way; he take spells
w'en maybe he murder. I hear him
m niter it; I soe it in ze man's eye. He
wiw much afraid of you. monsieur, an'
s is ze time w'en such fellows get
wit you call it? ze dangairc."
( stared into the mate's face, barely
iole to comprehend this quick justi
fication of my forebodings, brought so
closely home. Tuttle was odd enough
tabs sure, eccentric in both word and
iciion. cracked undoubtedly in raat
Sers of spiritism, but that he was a
;3Py dangerous lunatic had never
tmQO entered my head. I shivered at
Kiithicn realization of the peril we were
in. but remained only partially con
vinced. "What reason have you to think the
tn.in as bad as all that?"
'r'ell, monsieur, I walcli him for
lu time: Bill. he. watch him, for wc
iot like ze way he act since we first
:ul. Maybe he be luny before zen,
but tie get worse on ze voyage. Bill
.in" .ma, we talk it all ovaire,. an ze
u.ile not tell ze same story ze way he
dul in Valparaiso. He forget some, he
ii Id more. Hy gar. I lose much my
f;lh in it. If zat ship show up. or ze
is-ianJ. either. I be mighty surprise.
"ui. oui! Ze man Tuttle. he crazy all
Muht; we know zat for sure. Do he
not talk wiz you, monsieur?"
No. not lately; indeed, he has
:trcely spoken to me since our trou
Zat was it; zat was w'y you not
H.tlce. Well, he talk much w'at you
--tU ze blue streak to Bill an' me.
ftainte Anne, how he talk! He have
now talk every day. an' ze notions he
ipeak make a dog sick, by gar! Lis
ten; I tell some sings. I was on watch.
Won he comes up from ze cabin; he
not half dress, but it cold as hell." De
N'ova shivered; "yet he walk back an'
forth, back an' forth, across zaro in
front of ze cabin, like ze lion in ze
cge. talking wiz himself. -an' wringing
ins hands. Maybe he 'keep it up two
i.our. an' I sink he freeze. Ze cook's
r;tt was 'sleep in ze longboat. I watch
ivi.'e be come up an' see ze poor devil.
Quick he grab her by zo tail an fling
it way overboard, like zat. I hear te
cut yell, an' zen go splash. Zat seem
( make him feel bet t aire, for he
Jtt'igh, an zen go below."
The mate changed his position, and
i aoticed his eyes looked sleepless and
"Las' night he take another turn.
He dog you all ovaire ze deck, mon
sieur, like he haunt you maybe. I was
iftPPPiscjM 'iTi4 v--Mm
-ferr jgyHJr V mw WW
on ze bridge so I not see very much,
but Bill, he tell me how it was. He
say Tuttle sneak up behin' you twice.
like he would hit you in ze back. Once,
w'en you was right by ze rail. Bill, he
sung out to you, so as to make you
look 'round. Maybe you will remem
ber zat monsieur?"
I nodded, beginning now to grasp
the full gravity of these revelations.
"Bill he not got mooch use for you,
Mons. Stephens," the speaker went on,
smiling grimly, "an won't have w'ile
his head ache, but he was no dam
fool. He know w'at it mean if you
was knock out By gar, it be hell! It
Tultle was off his nut, you was ze only
navigator c-n ze ship, an it not do for
ns lose bose. Zat was w'y Bill he
care; he not want to die in zis sea;
by gar. non! Well, after w'ile you
go below, an zen ze first officer did ze
damnedest sing ever I saw on ze ship.
He busted into ze fo'c'stlo. monsieur,
wizout any invite from any man Jack
u 'em, an plumped down on his knees
by Snyder's bunk, an begun to pray.
Mon Dicu. I Yonder zey not murder
him. Larson come out, an' beg Bill
an' me to take him out, but he pray
all zc time till we dump him in his
own cabin. He not fight, he jus pray.
Sainte Marie! it make me sick; an
ze raeu zey talk, an' ask question."
He paused, passing one hand across
his eyes. "But zat not ze worst, mon
sieur sacre, non! ho see ze ghost."
"De Nova." I said, quietly, "you
have said I was au educated man.
Well I have some reason to believe
you are, also, and first of all I should
like to know why you pretend other
wise? Why do you endeavor to talk
like a fo'c'stlo hand?"
He hung in the wind, surprised both
by my direct question and the sudden
change of topic Then the old smile
came back to his lips.
"Maybe it was habit, monsieur, from
12 year' passed in zat sort of com
pany." " was correct then in believing you
have received more than an ordinary
"I took zc classical course in ze col
lege at Martinique, an' zen two year'
of ze train' for ze priesthood. Oui,
monsieur." His eyes wandered out
over the empty waters. "Zen xe sea
call me, an maybe ze devil also. Zat
was ze whole of it."
"Yet you believe In ghosts?"
The creole crossed himself.
"Sacre, I know not w'at I believe.
But It make ze blood chill to hear Tut
tle tell w'at ho see down zare in ze
cabin. Ze question not w'at I believe,
monsieur: it Wat we do wiz him?"
I struck the rail with my fist, vered
at my own inability to take the initia
tive. "Yes, that's the issue, De Nova." I
returned quickly, "but I'm not the one
to decide it I've knownwhat I would
do from the first, if I had the power.
Tuttle's insanity was not necessary to
make me act his brutality to those
women below, his shanghaiing me into
this fool scheme, were enough. I am
for taking possession of the vessel,
even if we have to lash him to his
"Zat was not to be done, monslear."
"And why not? Must we sail with
a madman? fhis Is no regular voy
age; not a man aboard has signed pa
pers. Tuttle Is no better than a
pirate, and to overthrow him and as
sume control of the yacht would not
be mutiny. We might sail straight
back to Valparaiso-and not a thins
could be done with us."
The mate shuffled from one foot to
the other, his black eyes hardening.
"Now, see here, Moas. Stephens," he
burst out, "zat was only ze half of It.
Sure we not reglar crew, but we part
ners. Zat was ze way it is. We take
-e big chance for ze profit Zose sail
You, Like He Would Hit You in Ze Back."
or-men for'ard have nossing agains' zis
Tuttle. Zey sink he tell truth. May
be zey sink him a bit queer in zc head,
maybe zey not like his praying, or-his
talk of ze spirits, but so long he sail
ze ship all right, zey stick wiz him.
Zat all zey know how sail ze ship;
dam ze rest! Zey believe w'at he tell,
zey divide zose pesos every watch be
low. Zat's it. ir we lay hand on ze
mate, by gar. ze lads fight for him till
zey drop. Zey will do it, monsieur, an'
no pretty talk you put up will make
zem sink anysing but zat you try rob
zem or zeir share. I know sailor-men,
an In case like 7ls, you got to go
"You are speaking for yourself and
Anderson as well as the men, I take
"Maybe so, monsieur; w'y not? Wc
have long voyage, an now we not so
very far from zat place wc aim at.
Zen w'y not take look 'long zat lati
tude before we turn north again? W'y
not, monsieur? Sure you not blame
me for feel like zat?"
"No. De Nova. I don't blame you."
I replied, honestly, although disap
pointed at his confession. "That's
natural enough. Still, I hoped there
was a little French girl down below
who might be worth more to you than
even that fantastic dream of money."
He did not meet my eyes, his own
gaze out over the gray tumbling wa
ters. But he smiled good naturcdly.
"I nevaire suppose. Mons. Stephens,"
he returned quietly, "zat a girl care
less for man if he have plenty zc
chink. A few days more not make
much difference to ze ladies below.
Zey have ze plenty eat, ze coal to
burn. Maybe zare be truth in zc mate's
story; anyway, it worth ze try. My
share of ze pesos be bettaire as a
sailor-man's pay. Oui, why not?"
The man was undoubtedly right
from his point of view, and I compre
hended fully the utter uselessness of
any further argument. I was still
practically alone; yet now I had an
understanding which greatly strength
"Then why did you speak to me
"To warn you take care of yourself,
monsieur; to have you keep your eye
"That, then, is all you expect me
"So I sink: zat will be all so long as
he Fail ze ship right, an keeps away
from ze ladies."
Ay, but would he? The vagaries of
Ample Measure of Revenge
Time That Pat Got Gloriously Even
with the Doctor.
Pat had baa trouble wltli his eyes,
and a friend having advised him to
consult an oculist, he went a few days
ago to see Dr. W . distinguished
specialist, for relieL On his arrival at
the doctor's office he found the usual
large number of patients in the ante
room awaiting attention, and though
he was in a great hurry he was forced
to wait several dreary hours before his
turn came. He lost and regained his
temper several times In 'the interim,
but when all was over and he found
himself out upon the street with the
half day spent indignation over the
loss of valuable time was the predomi
nant note in his feelings.
"But OI hsd me revlnge!" he ejacu
lated with a broad smile, as he told his
friend Mike about it afterward. "Oi
a crazed man were beyond all guess
ing, and to be cooped up in the con
fines of a narrow cabin with one, and
he in virtual command, was anything
but a delightful position. I no longer
doubted Tuttle's mental condition; in
a way I had suspected it long before,
but now I possessed positive proof.
Even as I gazed down over the rail at
tho white foam rushing past us, it
was to perceive the appealing eyes of
Lady Darlington. De Nova's voice
"Would you min' to giv me ze pres
ent position of ze ship, monsieur?"
I glanced around at him, startled by
so unexpected a question.
"Our position! Don't Tuttle prick
off the day's run on the chart?"
"Maybe he do, but he keeps ze map
In his own room. He get ver mad
w'en I ask him to see w'at it was. Zat
was w'at he have agains' you zc
takin' of ze observation. He not seem
to want us to know. I understan not
w'at he be up to, but I have to guess
w'ere we was for maybe two week."
I gave him our position according to
my latest figures, and we went for
ward to the charthouse. hunting
among the maps there until we
finally discovered an old one partially
covering our course. By means of
this I indicated with some accuracy
about where we were, and the point
toward which we were driving the Sea
Queen. I left him studying over it
and descended the conipanionsteps.
unwilling longer bg remain out of sight
of those I guarded. My lady met me
in the dim light of the cabin, her lips
"I have just found the music you
were so anxious to hear." she ex
claimed, triumphantly. "Shall I play
it for you now?"
And so we sailed on into the piti
less ice, through the cold, gray sens
of the Antarctic, under a mad skipper,
and I looked down at her smooth
cheek, breathed the faint nerfume of
her hair, and strove vainly to forget
In Which the Ghost Appears.
Difficult work it was keeping sealed
lips while wc conversed upon matters
far away, each endeavoring to avoid
any reference to present surroundings.
I knew I could fully trust this woman,
could safely confide in her. yet surely
there was no Immediate necessity for
telling her this latest development in
Tuttle's case. Already she had bur
den enough to bear, and the manner in
which she Iiore it awoke my sincere
admiration. Whatever of despair, of
womanly shrinking her private calrin
may have seen during those weeks of
loneliness, she brought nothing out
side its doors but courage and inspi
ration. Once I remember she lingered
beside the rail with me, clinging to
my arm for support against the
yacht's tumbling, her loosened hair
flapping in the wind, her cheeks tin
gling from the flying spray which oc
casionally lashed our faces. It was
my look of inquiry that unlocked her
lips to confession.
"I cannot help it. Mr. Stephens, but
the spectacle of the sea awakens all
that is divine within me." she said,
her lips smiling, her eyes grave. "I
must have been liom with the love
of it in my heart. I know that sounds
fanciful. like the speech of a school
girl, yet lhat is the fascination the sea
exerts upon me. I never tire of it,
and it must be thnt I possess the soul
of the sailor."
"Was It because of your innate love
for such things that Lord Darlington
took lo yachting?" I questioned, cu
riously, always eager to observe her
swift changes in expression. She
laughed, with a queer little indrawing
of breath and uplifting of lashes.
"Oh. no; far from it. He was an
enthusiastic yachtsman long before we
first met. but had contentedly confined
his cruising to the English coast and
the Mediterranean waters. No doubt
it was my enthusiasm which induced
him to attempt longer voyages and
stranger seas. I lack interest In or
dinary social life, and was far happier
on board the yacht than in London
drawing rooms. His lordship was.
was always most considerate."
(TO BK COXTINUKD.)
Man's Fate in His Character.
Mabie: A man's fate lies in his
character, and not in his conditions.
don't fink he'll keep me waitln again
'That did ye do to 'om?" asked
'"Sure an Oi wint back th next
day," said Pat "Oi got there at nolne
by the clock an ivery tolme they said
'twas me tars to -go in Oi said Ol'd
wait an let some other felly have me
place, ontil the clock sthruck twilve.
an thin 01 wint la. 'Well says he,
'phwat can OI do for yes this mornln.
Pat?' 'NawthlnV says OI. lookln' him
shquare In the eye as Oi turned on me
heels and lift tbe room. Bedad, 01
don't believe he knows yit what
sthruck 'urn! Harper's Weekly.
The Uon In the circuit
Strict justice was denied
They starved him while he was alive.
And stud him w'icn he 4'ed!
BAIilhGtri 13 l
Oil t 44.w
CHIEF ENGINEER OF RECLAMA
TION SERVICE TESTIFIES.
Secretary Wanted Power Sites Re
stored Slowly So as Not to At
tract Public Attention.
Washington. A. P. Davis, chief e
gineer of the reclamation service,
gave testimony before the Ballinger
PIncbot investigation Friday strongly
against Secretary Ballinger. He said
Mr. Ballinger bad directed him to gc
slowly about restoring certain power
sites on public lands to the public do
main so as not to attract public at
Mr Davis declared that In prepar
ing lists of lands to be restored by
Secretary Ballinger be felt that be
was acting; under mandatory orders
from the secretary.
These lands bad been withdrawn;
witness said, by Secretary Garfield for
the conservation of water power sites.
Mr. Ballinger. according to Davis,
repeatedly gave verbal orders that
lands so withdrawn should be pre
pared for restoration, as their with
drawal had been In direct violation of
law and could not be sustained. No
written orders, however, were ever
Mr. Davis told In detail an Inter
view he had with Mr. Ballinger at
his hotel in March last. In which be
criticised the conduct of the reclama
tion service and declared illegal the
withdrawal of large areas of power
Mr. Pepper brought out the fact
that Mr. Davis in making his recom
mendations for restoration of tbe land
withdrawn was acting upon the
mandatory order of Secretary Bal
linger. This mandatory order was
given orally by Mr. Ballinger. Of bis
own volition Mr. Davis said be would
have made no such recommendation.
This evidence was of especial im
portance because of the fact that Bal
linger in bis defense to the president
stated that he acted in making these
restorations upon tbe recommendation
of the reclamation service.
Washington. James R. Garfield,
former secretary of the interior, testi
fied Thursday before the Ballinger
Pinchot Investigation committee that
he did not believe tbe $30,000,000 bond
issue, recommended by President Taft
to congress, was necessary for the
proper forwarding of irrigation work
in the west.
He said this In defense of the co-operative
agreements he entered into
with water users' associations and of
the "reclamation certificates" he is
sued in evidence of work performed
and which came to be known as "Gar
Mr. Garfield said Attorney General
Wickersbani and President Taft did
not have the proper facts before them
when they reached opinions adverse
to the legality of the reclamation cer
tificates, the use of which was stopped
by Mr. Ballinger.
BANKER PLACED ON TRIAL
Former Cashier of Tipton, Ind.. Sank
Is Charged with Embezzling
Indianapolis. Ind. Charged with
embezzling $100,000 of tbe fusils oi
the First National bank of Tipton,
Ind.. William II. Marker, formerly
cashier of tbe bank, was placed on
trial before a jury in the United States
court of this district
Marker's brother, Noah R. Marker,
former assistant cashier of the bank.
Indicted jointly with him oa the
charge of complicity In tbe embezzle
ment, win have a separate trial.
The United States district attorney,
Charles W. Miller, in his opening ad
dress to the jury said the government
expected to prove. In addition to the
embezzlement, that William II. Marker
had misapplied thousands of dollars of
the cash of the bank for the benefit ef
several persons, including himself, and
that be had made false reports of the
condition of the bank to the comp
troller of the treasury.
KNOCK OUT COMMERCE COURT
Interstate Commission Substituted for
Trianal in Taft Bill by House
Washington. The Interstate com
merce commission was substituted
for tbe proposed court of com
merce In the administration raHroad
bill by tbe house committee on inter
Or. Fritch Goes to Prison.
Detroit Mich. Dr. George A.
Fritch was sentenced to serve from
IVt to 15 years In the state peniten
tiary at Jackson for manslaughter In
causing the death last August of May
belle Millman of Ann Arbor.
Senator Daniel Stricken.
Daytona. Fla. United States Sena
tor John W. Daniel of Virginia was
stricken with paralysis here Wednes
day. He is at a hospital and bis
physicians say he will recover If an
other stroke does not follow.
Six Injured in a Collision.
Seattle. Wash. Six persons were
injured, two seriously. Friday, when
a limited passenger train oa tbe
Puget sound electric railway ran Into
a freight train at Thomas station, two
miles south of Kent
Negress Boycott Street Cars.
Muskogee. Okla. Negroes generally
are boycotting tbe street cars of
Muskogee aa a result of tbe placing
of officers on the cars to prevent
trouble in enforcing the "Jim crow'
Jere F. Ullls Improving.
Kansas City. Mo. Jere F. Lillis.
president of tbe Western Exchange
bank, who was assaulted by John P.
Cudaby. the millionaire clubman, con
tinued Thursday to show Improvement
In his condition.
Electric Wires Start Fire.
Pittsburg. Pa. Fire Thursday caused
by crossing electric wires destroyed
the storage battery department of the
Westinghouse Machine Company's
plsnt at East Pittsburg, causing a
loss of $75,000.
Orone McDooble and Andrus Gobble.
By Ellis Parker Btftier.
Author oFPijs is Pi
Old Andrus Gooble, of Betzville, was
one of the shrewdest men in town, but
twice in his life he made mistakes.
Once was when he lent money to Or
one McDooble, and once was when he
thought he could work the money out
It seems that a couple of years ago
a syndicate of prominent Betzville ag
riculturists decided to build a tele
phone line, and when they went to
Orone he said he would be glad to
go into it, and he subscribed one hun
dred dollars, but when the time came
to pay up, he did not have the money,
so he went to old Andrus Gobble and
began talking a loan out of him. Old
Andrus refused at first, but Orone has
a harsh, grating; voice, like the rough
edge of a rasp file, and after he had
talked to old Andrus awhile Andrus
felt his ear drums giving away. Ev
ery time Oroae said a word it was like
rasping a file across Andrus's ear
drums, and in a few minutes his ear
drums were rasped down so thin that
they palpitated-painfully, and they
were hardly any thicker than a sheet
of tissue paper. Old Andrus saw that
if Orone coaxed a few minutes more
his ear drums would be worn quite
through, so he told him to shut off his
voice and he would lend him the
money. So Orone did, and Andrus
made the loan.
Then he started right in trying to
collect, but he had a hard job of it.
Orone did not have any cash, nor any
thing to attach. All he had was the
1 SI "I
I 0r rSfl Htf-a y IBW
ts MM s- Jixm n 9 W bLIIIU
TMsLa' TJrT-"-r ' V 1
Vim II -Mi . VI J . - . " J l
K MmmrmmmmL m aV
I 1 iflsHCKT. fc
S5!ot mmi Jills'
As Soon as Orone's Grating Voice Struck the Horse Radish R-ots It Began
Grating Them, and the Horse Radish Fell Like a Showver.
right to have a telephone instrument
in his house and connection with the
Inter-farm Telephone line. Every time
old Andrus Gobble telephoned him
about the debt Orone would begin a
bard-luck story about eighteen fur
longs long, and his grating voice
would file a little more off old An
drus's ear drums, until the old man
had to slap up the receiver in self-protection.
But the telephone line was
composed, part of the way, of the top
wire of old Andrus's barb wire fence,
and one day when old Andrus went
out to look at the fence he found that
every barb on the top wire had been
filed off dose, and it did not take him
an instant to realize that it was Or
one's grating, rasping veice that had
filed off the barbs as H passed over
So old Andrus. who is a cute old
codger, saw at once bow be could get
even with Orone. and he got right to
work and planted his ten acre south
field in horse radish. As soon as the
horse radish was ripe he dug a coupl
of roots and went In to the telephone
and called up Orone and asked him
when he would pay up. When Orone
began one of his long explanations,
old Andrus took the receiver from his
ear and held the horse-radish roots
up in front of the receiver, and the
result was like magic. As soon ss Or
one's grating voice struck the horse
radish roots It began gratlag them,
and the ground horse-radish fell like :
shower. So old Andrus knew the plan
would work all-right From that oa.
as fast as he due his crop of berse
radish. old Andrus would take it in to
the telephone and call up Oroae and
ask him about that hundred dollars,
and Orone would begin explaining,
and old Andrus would turn the tele
phone receiver oa the pile of horse
radish roots, like the nozzle of a hose.
and Orone's grating voice would grate
up the horse-radish. Old Andrus Gobble
used to stand by and weep, and he
was never exactly sure whether he
wept most for joy or whether he was
weeping a plain horse-radish weep.
He would stand there and the tears
would run down his face in streams.
The fact was that he was weeping a
full quantity of horse-radish weep, and
a full quantity of joy weep too.
And that was why old Andrus Gob
ble over-reached himself, as I said.
The human body should consist of two
thirds water, and an average
perspires two pints per day, but old
Andrus hustled so over his horse-radish
job that he was perspiring about
a gallon a day right along, and he was
weeping a gallon of joy tears and
three gallons of horse-radish tears.
and he was losing a good deal more
water than any man could afford to
lose. Even .the teeth, which are the
dryest part of a man. contain ten per
cent, of water. Old Aadrus began to
feel that he was getting pretty dry.
and he took to drinking water copious
ly, but to save his life he couldn't
drink five aallons of water a day.
Three gallons was all he could possi
bly manage, and that left hint two gal
lons short every day. and no au of
the age of old Andrus Gobble can af
ford to shrink two gallons a day any
length of time. In three weeks he was
so dry that he rustled when he walked,
like an autumn leaf, and he kept get
ting dryer and dryer. Two or three
times a spark from bis pipe fell on
him and set him afire, and if it hadn't
been that his hands were wet with
tears he would probably have gone up
like a flash. He was mighty careful
about sparks after that
By the ninth of November he was so
dry that he could not weep any more.
He had wept all the weeps out of him.
There was no more moisture in old
Andrus Gobble. On the tenth of No
vember be was perfectly desiccated.
Even the moisture in his ears, that
made hearing possible, had dried up.
and the old codger was as deaf as a
bat. but he went richt on with his
horse-radish job. He brought in a
basket of horseradish and called Or
one on the telephone and asked him
when he meant to pay that money.
aad Orone began answering; in Mi
grating veice. but old Andrus could
not hear a sound. He keptf yelling at
Orone. and Orone kept talking, and all
the while Oreae's grating voice wa
getting in its work on old Andrus
grating him down aad grating him
down, and in five minutes old Andrus
was all grated to a pile of white dust
Then -he gave a last yelp at Orom
and passed away entirely.
(Copyright. 19CS. by W. G. Chapman.)
She put her slim feet on the fender,
and the young man uttered a shocked
For hor round ankles were extended
from beneath her gown, aad ea tbr
left one was an anklet In the farm of
a great gold snake with ruby eyes
On the slender ankle the snake gilt
tered against the cobweb stocking oi
"Do you like it?" she asked.
"Yes," the young man admitted.
"Sw do I," she said. "It's a Christ
mas present from the countess my
sister in Paris, you know. AH the
smart young married women in Paris
are wearing anklets this winter. I am
not married, but an American girl is
lulte aa free aad untrammeled as anj
orelgn matron so my anklet.goes
"It goes." said the youag
Increased Use of Rat Skins.
Use of rat skins in the manufacture
of fancy articles is Increasing. Last
year the trade in Great Britain alone
amounted to $250,000, and supplies of
brown rat skins are being sought ir
lots of from 100 to 10.000. It is proposed
to start a business in Calcutta for se
curiag and preparing the skias of the
brows rat, to be used, among a variety
of purposes. In the binding of bookV
and the making; of purses, gloves, and
various articles for women's use and
wear. The supply of rats in Calcutta
Is said to he laexbaustlble.
The Philosopher of Folly.
"There's nothing in a name." says
the Philosopher of Folly. "They have
dog watches on other ships besides
1 '-. - M A
i MMi1, -I'.jgv'fit1 '.wiyw g-ff ptw - mm. ii