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'.JKvBBBSBBBBKaaBBBs .!& : jsBsBeTaBsBBBBBBJ v 'V3K.3 Jp ' iPP1? fSBPBBBBKBBBSKf ? f BBBY '"SSBBSBBSBBSI mLrm nmmMmK NMbbbbbT?sbbbbbbbbbbbbI '3ilBllfsfJBBBBBBBBBBBBBBV l Hi SBBBbI '1' BBBBBBBBBBBbS :. ::; " : flfa J1bbbbbb '11 .fTfl:i bbMJvH ''wlr,a"a"a"M JHsnlBBB"a"a"a"a"a i'4bbbbbbb1bbbb3&9bbbb1 BIi'SBBBBBBKTr'SBBBBBBBlBBBBBBBBBBBf ,'''".M BBBB yf fSX!iiSBBBBj .BrPiBTABWl' IsBBBBBBcaBsBBBBBBBBM f ifcSfSBJBi Ib1bsbbbbbbb1 'HflilHrMKBKlH 1bsbbbbbbbb1 3lnBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB7PHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBv -vKk( n-. H OCy B HBr SbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbVstH- x-s" rBH- -.'-- " The Balcony Scene in Act IV of "Beverly" at the NORTH THEATRE, Wednesday, March 2nd Prices 50c, 75c, $1.00, $1.50 The Vital Test. "-Jy eyes .seem to bo all wrong," ex plained Mr. I'inchpeiiuy to Hie expen sive oculist. "They're weak :ml tin easily. After a bit everything seems to swim before them. Bright lights lake me dizzy. Can you assist me:" The expensive oculist nodded. "Your case is a common one," lie re plied, "but I fear it will necessitate a treatment extending over several months. However, I cau guarantee an absolute and enduring cure." Biweekly for several months Mr. Pinchpenuy was treated, and day by day his sight waxed stronger and more strong. "Do you think I'm all right now":" be inquired at last. "Mr. Pinchpenuy," replied the ocu list, beaming. "I think 1 can assure you that your eyes are now cured. But there is oue more test it would be as well to apply." Here lie held up a little sheet of paper. "See," he eald suavely, "if you can read this -little bill of mine at twelve indies without blinking." London Answers Recipes For Invisible Ink. The following are the ingredients of the most common invisible inks: Sulphate of copper and sal ammoniac, equal parts, dissolved iu water; writes -colorless, but turns yellow when heat ed. Onion juice, like the last. A weak infusion of galls; turns black when moistened with weak copperas water. A weak solution of sulphate of iron; turus blue when moistened witli a weak solution of prussiate of potash and black with infusion of galls. The diluted solutions of nitrate of silver and terchloride of gold; darken when exposed to the sunlight. Aqua fortis, spirits of salt, oil of vitriol, common salt or saltpeter, dissolved iu a large quantity of water; turns yellow or brown when heated. Solution of uitro muriate of cobalt: turns green when heated and disappears on cooling. Solu tion of acetate of cobalt to which a little niter has been added; becomes rose colored when heated and disap r on cooling. Lenten Delicacies During the Lenten season we will be prepared to cater particularly to the trade which desires table foods out of the ordi- dinary. Look over the list: Smoked, Spiced, Codfish Mackerel Finnan Haddies Russian Sardines Fresh Vegetables Satsumas Tomatoes Wax Beans Oyster Plant Young Onions BOTH PHONES NO 29 (9AirwW The Order Pleased the Cook. The followiug story is told on a mis sionary of the China inland missiou. a bachelor keeping house for himself in the southeru part of China: One morn ing in ordering his dinner he wished to tell his cook to buy a chicken. In stead of saying "ye" for chicken be aspirated the word, saying. "Buy me a che.' " His cook thought that was an eminently proper command and went about his marketing in high good hu mor. At noon the missionary found uo chicken cooked in fact, no dinner at all. for his cook bad not returned. About dark the man came back, say ing: "This was uot a good day for buy ing wives, and 1 have been all day looking for oue, but at last 1 found one for you. She is rather old aud not pretty, but you cau have her cbeap. 1 have promised $40 for her." Browning. Browning lent Ixrd Coleridge one of his works to read, and afterward. meeting the poet, the lord chief justice said to him: "What 1 could under stand I heartily admired, and parts ought to be immortal. But as to much of it I really could not tell whether 1 admired it or not. because for the life of me 1 could not understand it" Browning replied, "If a reader of your caliber understands IU er cent of what 1 write 1 think I ought to Ik content." Exchange of Courtesies. One of the keenest of journalists and wits. Moritz Gottlieb Saphir. had the better of the irate stranger against whom he ran by accident at the corner of a street iu Munich. "Beastr cried the offended person without waiting for an apology. "Thank you." said the jourtiaiist. "and mine is Saphir." The Thorn. Caller How pleased you must be to find that your new cook is a stayer! Hostess My dear, don't mention it. She's a stayer, all right, but unfortu nately she's not a cook. Boston Tran script. Salted FISH Halibut Pickled Herring Holland Herring Choice Canned Fish French Endive Cauliflower Radishes Lettuce Fruit When Children Smoke. Jorevin de Itocbefort. who published In Paris in KJT1 au account of bis trav els iu England, tells the following: "While we were waltOn? about the town (Wor ester) he asked me if it was Uu custom in Prance as in Eng land ilur r.hen the children went t school they t-arried in their satchel with their books a ripe of tobacco, which their mothers took care to fill early iu the morning. It serving them instead of breakfast, aud that at the accustomed hour every oue laid aside bis book to light his pipe, the master smoking with them and teaching them how to hold their pipes and draw in the tobacco." In England at the time of the great plague it was reixirted that no one liv ing in a tobacconist's bouse fell sick of the disease. This caused a great de mand for tobacco. Hearne says in his diary. "1 rememlier that I heard for merly Tom Rogers, who was yeoman beadle, say that when he was a school -lioy at i'ton that year when the plague raged all the boys of that school were (ililigpd to smoke every morning and ih:;: he was never whipped so much in bis life as he was one morning for not smoking." A Quick Witted Docter. A Frencli surgeon who was once at tending a sultan resorted to uu expe dient which, although efficacious, might have resulted in his own death. He bad been commissioned to bleed the grand seignior aud either through Umidity or nervousness bad met with an awkward accident. The point of the lancet broke off In the vein, and the blood would not flow. That point must be got out somehow. Without stopping to consider the consequences to himself; the surgeon gave bis high ness a violent slap In the face. This produced the desired effect, for sur prise and indignation on the part of bis august paUent put the blood into violent circulation. The vein bled freely, and the lancet point came out. The bystanders were about to lay bands on the surgeon when be said, "First let me finish the operation and bandage the wound." This done, be threw himself at the feet of the sultan and explained his action. The sultan not only pardoned him. but gave him a handsome reward for keeping his wits about him In a crit ical moment. Hurled on "Hie Horse. Lord Dacre. who died fighting for the Lancastrians at Towtou, England, in 1461. directed that If be were killed In the battle his favorite war horse should be burled hi the same grave with him. According to bis wishes, when his in terment took place in Saxon church yard after the battle a tremendous grave was dug, and In It the -warrior was buried, seated upright on his horse. For centuries reflections were cast upon the accuracy of this tradi tion, but some years ago while exca vations were being made close by the reputed burial place of Lord Dacre the pick of a digger struck Into a great bone, and upon further search being made the skull of a big horse was brought to the surface. As this was found almost at the very spot under which the body of Lord Dacre was said to lie It was accepted as confirma tion of the tradition, particularly as the skull was found to be standing verti cally In the soil. The skull was re placed carefully In its original position and the excavation filled up. Queer Creatures. There are microscopic creatures which live iu roof gutters and on the bark of trees and are known as water bears and wheel animalculae. If al lowed to dry up under the microscope they can be seen to shrivel into shape less masses, which may be kept fot years uninjured In the dried state. On being placed, after this long interval, In water they graduallyjplump up. re sume their proper sbtspe and move about in search of food just as If noth ing had happened. Much the same is true for the minute worms which, from the substances in which they live, are known as paste and vinegar eels. Well known is the famous case of the desert snail which, retracted Into its shell, was fastened to a tab let In the British museum aud show ed no sign of life for seven years, when one morning It was found crawl ing hungrily about the glass case that formed Its prison. Westminster Ga zette. Saluting With the Hat Before the Invention of wigs the bat was rarely removed except to salute others, especially royal personages. It was worn at table when ladies or per sons of rank were present. Except when saluting royalty it was the cus tom merely to raise the hand to the hat somewhat after the manner of a military salute. When it became the mode to wear a profusion of false hair the hat was less needed as a protec tion for the head and was carried un der the arm. A Retiary. A retiary was the name ot a Roman gladiator armed in a peculiar way. lie wss furnished with a trident and net, with no more covering than a short tunic, and with these Implements be endeavored to entangle and dispatch his adversary, who was called a secu tor (from sequl, to follow) and was armed with a helmet, a shield and a sword. The name of the first Is pro nounced as If spelled re-sbi-a-ry, the accent on the first syllable. Improving an Euclid. The Pioneer of Allahabad tells stories of some "kindergarten" classes In the English army. Among the defi nitions given in au examination is one of a circle peculiarly happy, which gives a freshness to Euclid. It Is, "A straight line which starts at a certain point and gets back to the same point as quickly as possible." Thoughts. Thoughts are much greater than things. They are vital forces and have endless effects. What yon think today determines what yon will be iu years to come. Easily Granted. Tommy Ma. can 1 have two pieces of pie this noon? Ma Certainly. Tom say. Cot the piece yon have in two. omervlUe Journal. Gas Engine FOR SALE at a Bargain One new 2 H. P. Foos Engine, with pump jack, all complete. GEO. F. KOHLER A "Hoodoo" Buddha. Lady Dorothy Xevi.l iu he. "Renii-nlscein-es records au example of the so called "malevolent influence" of an inanimate object upon the fortunes of its po.s.'-e.ssors similar to that said to have been excited by the Hope dhl uioud. now sunk beneath the waves. From the day a miniature Buddha from l'tirma of charming workman ship entered Iter Iioiim' everything went amiss. Its installation Iu the drawing room -was followed by a perfect avalanche of catastrophes." Within a week a sou failed in busi ness. Household pels came to tragic ends. A favorite pony was suddenly paralyzed, "and this on the very eve of au election Iu which it was to as sist by conveying Conservative voters to the wll." from which It is inferred that the Ituddba was uot favorable to the Tory party. A few days later a neighboring chimney crashed down upon a wing of Lady Dorothy's house, doing much damage. Shortly after ward the Buddha was sent on loan to the Indian museum, where, after some minor disturbances, it settled quietly down and has since remained. Postponed Her Bath. Miss Flora Shaw as correspondent of the London Times was once travel ing through Africa In a bullock wag on. The sun was blazing; the bullocks were slow; the dust was indescribable. She was making for a frontier town, where she anticipated the comforts of a bath. At the entrance to the place Miss Sbaw, dead beat, dusty and irri table, found herself confronted with the ordeal of -a public reception. The officials read her a welcome. She was as civil as she could be. Then she bolt ed for the hotel. She gave bnt one or der "Hot water, quick!" She sat on the edge of the bed and waited. Some minutes passed. At last a black servant entered with a tin ves sel. In which there was something steaming. Seizing It, Miss Sbaw pour ed out a milky, odoriferous liquid. She turned to the servant for an explana tion. The hotel was very short of water. As a distinguished guest a point had been stretched for her. They bad sent her the water in which the fish bad just been boiled! The Victorious One. An Indianapolis business man was marooned on election night in 1004 iu an Illinois 'village, says the Saturday Evening Post Naturally he was in terested in the election. He wanted to find out whether Mr. Roosevelt or Mr. Parker had won. He began investi gating and discovered that the tele phone girl quit at G o'clock and that the telegraph agent at the station knocked off work after the evening train went through, which was rarely later than C p. m. At 8 o'clock the landlord shut up the hotel, telling his guest to take the room at the head of the stairs when be was ready to go to bed. No news was to be bad. and the business man went to bed, that being all he could do. Next morning he was awakened by the heavy tread of boots on the plank sidewalk. He threw up the window and asked the passerby. "Say. who was elected?" "I was, by beck," replied the man proudly. "Third term for constable." He "Oassent.'' The selectiou of the right word to convey one's meaning is sometimes more important than the rules of gram mar. So it appeared to the bridge po liceman, who is an alert sociological student. An east side resident of for eign birth was taken before the mag istrate in one of the police courts charged with a trivial offense. "Tell him be must not do it again. He Is discharged," the magistrate said to the policeman on the bridge. "The judge says you dassent do it Understand?" almost shouted the po liceman to the prisoner. "Hold on, officer; I' didn't dare him to break the law again. I said 'must not'" "That's all right, your honor. He understands what I said bettern be would what you said." explained the policeman. And the prisoner seemed to think so too. New York Sun. Riding Away With the Bride. In many of the border counties of England the quaint old bridal customs of hundreds of years ago are still In vogue. The parents carefully abstain from appearing at the marriage cere mony, clinging to tbe idea that the bridegroom still rides away on a foam ing steed with his bride behind him as In the good old days. The brides pre fer the custom to the modern method of being given away at tbe altar In tbe orthodox fashion. Wanted the Preof. "You look sweet enough to kiss." ays the impressed man. "So many gentlemen tell me that" coyly answers tbe fan girl. "Ah! That should make yon happy." "But they merely say that," she re plies. "They merely tell me tbe facte In the case and never prove their statements." Ho Got It. Eva As we strolled along be wa gered a box of chocolates that I couldn't say the word "kiss." Belinda And did you try? Eva Yes. but be took tbe word from my very lips. A Big Shadow. We are told that tbe "smallest hair throws a shadow." Aud so it does. It throws a shadow over your appetite when you find it In your food. Ex change. A good deed is never lost He who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and be who plants kindness gathers love. Pew and Its MuRial ef Ten. The number-four was anciently es teemed the most perfect of all. being the arithmetical mean between one and seven. Oman, the second caliph, mid, "Four things come not back the spoken word, tbe sped arrow, the past life, the neglected opportunity." In nature there are four seasons and the four points of tbe compass. Forty, a multiple of four by ten, is ne of the sacred numbers. Tbe pro bation of our first parents in the gar den of Eden Is supposed to nave been forty years. Tbe rain fell at tbe del uge forty days and nights, aud the wa ter remained on the earth forty days. Tbe days of emltalming the dead were forty. Solomon's temple was forty cubits long. In it were ten la vers, each four cubits long aud containing forty baths. Moses was forty years old when be fled Into tbe laud of MIdian. where be dwelt forty years. He was on Mount Sinai forty days and forty nights. The Israelites waudered in the wilderness forty years. The Saviour fasted forty days and nights before entering upon public life. The same time elapsed between tbe resurrection and the as cension. Exchange. A Far Look. Three visitors traveling in the Isle of Man thought they would visit Snaefcll, the king of Manx mountains. When walking up toward tbe mountain they espied an old shepherd coming toward them. They thought they would take a rise out of him. so one accosted him. saying: "They tell me, old man, you can see England, Scotland, Ireland and even as far as America from tbe top of this mountain." "On, yes!" said the old man. "If you will come with me I will show you much farther than America." So, chuckling to themselves, they de cided to follow him. After trudging for about half' an hour up the moun tain side In a boiling sun they began to feel rather fagged and kept asking the shepherd how much farther they had to go. He kept urging them on a little far ther until at last tbe three visitors lay down on the grass and said they would go no farther for any sight "Now," said the old man, "If you will sit here long enough you will see the moon." Hew Roberts Won the Victoria Cross. Roberts noted that a sowar of tbe squadron with which he rode was in great danger from a sepoy with a fixed bayonet The contest of sword agalust bayonet would nave ended disastrous ly had not Roberts intervened and dis posed of the bayonet That was barely done when be noticed In the distance two sepoys fleeing with a standard. He galloped after tbe rebels and over took them, and then he had a close fight for the possession of tbe stand ard. He cut down Its chief bearer. While wrenching tbe staff from the man's grasp with both his hands the other sepoy turned bis musket on him and fired. Tbe muzzle was within a few Inches of Roberts' person, aud there would certainly have been an end of him bad not the musket refused to go off. As it was, be rode away unhurt with tbe standard, and for those two courageous and gallant acts in close succession Roberts got tbe Victoria cross. Cobban's "Life of Roberts." The Cows of Muscat. Muscat is famed as tbe hotbed of smugglers in tbe Persian gulf, tbe nearby desert tribes being regularly supplied with arms despite the efforts of the British patrol. But to tbe writ er, reared on a Missouri farm, tbe odd antics of tbe cows of Muscat seemed nothing short of freakish. They actu ally eat fish. No grass grows, so tbe wily Arab teaches his family cow to subsist on dates and dried fish. The milk tastes queer to a foreigner, which Is probably why the Arab likes It He also claims it Is richer and makes more butter, but most ridicu lous of all Is tbe deception practiced on cows when the calves are "wean ed." A calfskin or sometimes a goat skin Is stuffed with rags and tied not far from where the mother cow is an chored. This effigy of her late lament ed offspring soothes her nerves and keeps her from "going dry." according to Arabic tradition. San Francisco Chronicle. A Surprised Lion. The man eating lions did not always get their own way. Five Sikh carpen ters made a staging eight feet high, and on this they fixed their sleeping tent Each night they ascended by means of a ladder, which they drew up after them. They were warned that It was not high enough, but were content to believe that God was all powerful. One night they left the edge of the ladder projecting beyond the end of the staging. A hungry man eater on the prowl observed this and. thinking he could not find a meal more conveniently elsewhere, deter mined to try how a carpenter tasted. Calculating his spring, be leaped light ly on to the projecting ladder, which, unfortunately for him, instantly tipped up and toppled over, both falling heav ily to tbe ground. The lion bolted; so did all the men. making for the near est trees. From "In the Grip of the Nyika," by Colonel J. H. P. Patterson. A Test ef Friendship. A gentleman tried the following pe culiar way of probing tbe ties of friendship. He sent letters to twenty four intimate friends asking for a ioau sf a pound. Thirteen of tbe two dozen friends did not reply at all. five de clined to lend the money, two prom ised to send it on tbe next day and did not do it, one sent bis "last 10 shil lings," and only three sent tbe full sum asked for. Tbe supplicant and all tbe "friends" he bad written to are well off. London Mail. A Painter. The Girl You're not a bit like a lover. You never say pretty things. The Man Didn't 1 say that you looked like a beautiful autumn leaf? Tbe Girl Well, don't autumn leaves want press-lng?-lllustrated Bits. His Bad Break. "How did you enjoy tbe musicale?" "Ob, I applauded at tbe wrong time, as usual! Thought the orchestra tun fag up was a classical number." -Kansas City Journal. BBtPCsssaBSJesasBsMesBBsgBSCgB V2BbbbbbbbbbbbbbEjE7 Better TVf ANY homes should have better bath "' than they now have. We have tned not only to do better,, plumbing than we ever did A before, but better than any body else can do. The vol ume of work we are now doing shows how we are suc ceeding. We use only genuine 'Jtmlmrtr plumbing fixtures and employ only experienced workmen. Our repair ing service is prompt and reliable. A. DU&SBLL & SON, Colmmbns. Nebraska ItSv BsBSbB Tragic Jeking. Oswald's friends were always on hs lookout for some ruse. He ci-e noti fied them that on New Year's lay he should get the best of them all iu some joke, aud New Year's morning encli received this notice, "ltemember." They were on their guard. As they were leaving a bouse where they had breakfasted Oswaid slipped on tbe steps and fell on his back on tbe sidewalk. His friends rushed to his assistance, but paused before they reached him. "This is his ruse," some one said. Clearly the man who was so proud of his talent for mimicry was bent on deceiving them all Into thinking him a dying man, for be lay there moan ing pitifully, bis face drawn and twist ed as if with terrible pain. His friends stood around and made jokes and puns and hummed lines of comic songs, assuring hiin ail tbe while that they were not deceived by bis acting. At last he gave a hoarse. mournful cry, looked at them sadly and then ceased to moan or writhe. In a never to be forgotten moment of horror and sorrow his friends realized that Oswald was dead. "Souvenirs d'un VIeux Llbraire." Caught the Old Sailor. It was a clever lawyer In a Boston court who took advantage of the nau tical knowledge he possessed to work upon the mind of a juryman who did not seem to show much comprehension of a case of suing a street railway for damages. The dull member was au old sailor, who, though doubtless very keeu of perception along some lines, was nev ertheless rather slow in his under standing of the points involved iu the case being tried, says the New York Journal. The lawyer noticed this and made his strike with this particular man. Approaching the jury box. he addressed himself to this one juryman and said: "Mr. Juryman. I will tell you how It happened. The plaintiff was iu com mand of the outward bound open car and stood iu her starboard chauuels. Along came the inward bound closed car, and just as their bows met she jumped the track, sheered to port and knocked the plaintiff off and rau over him." The sailor was all attention after this version of the affair aud joined in a $5,000 verdict for the injured man. The Clinching Argument. A young man representing a well known make of motorcar had culled, discussed intelligently tbe points of the automobile he was endeavoring to sell, had given a flawless demons ra Uon But the prospective amateur motor ist before mortgaging bis house still wanted to be thoroughly convinced, and so he said: "What you suy about your car may be all right. The en gine runs very nicely, and it looks good to me, but tell me one thing have you ever sold any of these cars to your own personal friends?" The salesman smiled. 'Have I? Why, three months ago 1 was engaged to a girl, and I sold oue of these iden tical cars to my prospective father-in-law!" "Did you marry tbe girl?" "Yes, Indeed! I've now got the girl. a contented father-in-law aud an en thusiastic customer as well." He made the sale. Life. Mules and Kindness. "In the fifteen years that I have been connected with societies for the prevention of cruelty to animals iu this and other cities I never have re ceived a complaint alleging cruelty tc a mule." said the humane looking man. "That Immunity of mules from harsh treatment Is an interesting que tion. Why are they immune? Thert are plenty of mules, even iu New York. Does nobody beat them? Does nobody underfeed them? If not, whj not? Does a mule show such a de elded ability for taking care of him self that bis owner is afraid to abuse him, or do men beat mules and escape punishment because the persons wbc witness the beating think it is only a mule and not worth bothering about What is tbe explanation of that phase of the mule question anyhow?" New York Press. BBr j fcBBUBBfBBBBBBBJkBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB &r?.;i- -AjaBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBSSAijr.v--, -saasaiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa7ifsj!!:vci9 - -NjgSBSSnSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSKBBSJSJSSST ' LdBBSTBTBTBTBTBTBTBlBTBTBTBTBTB Hfc3dBsM& wim3 'AHmKKB "HM YVBKCm Plumbing rooms always Paderewski's Distinction. There was a day when I'uderewski's English was not liucnt. One evening lefore a choice company In his ele gant apartments in New York he was showing a few highly Mattered callers how to do this-, that and t'other uu the keys of his :r.iml piano, explaining In bad English as he went. Of course the man was present who is ever ready to supply a word when a speaker hesi tates. The famous artist. landiug with both bauds as if he had just dropped from the ceiHicr. exclaimed. "Harmo ny!" AH applauded the perfect con cord. He shot down again like a trip hammer and would have exclaimed again, but the word refused to come. "What you call-er-er "Discord." put In the supplier of words. Paderew ski's hair stood straight out, and bis face was white and red with auger. Jumping up from the stool, he sput tered: "Deescort! No! With me a deescort Iss cempossihle!" He would not be icrsiiadcd to touch tbe instru ment aguiu that night. The uninten tional Insult struck deep. No Sense of Humor. "Fog Eye'' Smith of northwest Wyo ming bore an appalling facade. Hi.-: style of beauty was a blight. Depend ing upon his horrific exterior, be was in the habit of trying to awe uewcom ers. On oue occasion, affecting some displeasure at the manner In which a pallid stranger watered his liquor. Mr. Smith announced, frowning, that unless he detected Immediate amend ment he would send the neophyte home iu u market basket. "Which I'll sure tear you up a whole lot." said Fog Eye. Half an hour later Mr. Fog Eye was found groping about on the floor under the poker table huntiug for his glass eye and muttering to him self. The stranger asked with some evidence of Impatience what new line of sentiments Mr. Smith was now bar tering. That injured resident, glar ing malevolently from beneath the fur niture, replied, "Which I Mire do hate a man with no sense of humor." Argonaut. Origin of "Watered Stock." The expression "watered stock." which describes so well the expansion of the stock of a company beyond the value of the property, originated, it i sald. In connection with Daniel Drew, who was once the wealthiest and most unique manipulator In Wall street Drew bad been u drover In bis youugei days, and It was said of him that be fore selling his cattle In the market he would first give them large quantities of salt to make them thirsty and then provide them with all the water the., could drink. In this way their weight was greatly increased, and the pur chaser, was buying "watered stock." Hypocrites. "I despise a hypocrite." says Boggs. "So do I," says rioggs. "Now. takt Knoggs, for example, ile's the biggest hypocrite on earth. I despite thai man." "But you appear t be his best friend." "Ob. yes. I trj- to appear friendlv toward him. It pays better In the end.' The Final Transaction. "Father." said little IJoIIo. "what is the ultimate consumer?" "He is the last person, my son. that an article reaches in Its commercial existence." "I know what you mean. He's a mau who goes into a hotel and order chicken hash." Washington Star. Queer Men. "Some men are so queer!" "And you are going to tell me of out particularly queer oue." "Yes. It's Mr. Barberton. His wift used to beg him for nickels and dimes and now he's cheerfully paying her c hundred a week for alimony." Cleve land Plain Dealer. Fearless. "Whitcomh is an independent think er." "He is?" "Yes; he even dares to say the clock In tbe railroad station Is wrong." Buffalo Express. Troubles must come to all men. but those who are always looking fot them will have the largest share. i Uy ri llssW y. BBBt' tj --r SsBBJBBj-':tfy c- VBbsss?- BssbbbbbI': "s"5w!PBsbbbbtbHssiR 1 lV 3MBr 4 A MWSNeM8SISSf3S"ft'BSSMBBMyttJBfSftMtSei itSPsWIZ'"?" iwgsSS5s,ifer Uliiimiijii. itii i in 1 1 1. r nil1!--- - " I ' ""f .......