Nebraska Newspapers

    .Mif&aw
i
NORTH THEATRE
Wednesday, Februay 23d
An Extraordinary Offering
. . . Augusta J. Evans' Stirring Narrative . . .
ST. ELMO
DRAMATIZED BY
Author of "Graustark'
Greatest Book Play of the Decade
Nothing quite so Interesting or Unique has been pro
duced in years
The Story of the Triumph Over a Blackened Soul
PRICES 25c,
Route No. 5.
The cold snap of Tuesday and Wed
nesday stopped work on the Platte river
bridge for a day or two.
Carrier No. 5 now has to employ two
conveyances to serve the route. One of
them, the regular mail wagon, is kept at
the home of Charles Klaus, south of the
Platte, and the other one. which makes
the trip from town to the Platte bridge,
is at the carrier's home. But there is
hope that this inconvenience will be done
away with in a few days.
Route No. 3.
Born, on Sunday. February 13, to Mr.
and Mrs. H D. Claussen, a daughter.
Henry Bargman, in rompany with hi.
brother Fred of Riverdale, left last Sat
urday for Herkimer, Kas . for a ten daye
visit with relatives.
Fred Dyke, who is attending sohool
at the state normal at Kearney, came
home Monday to attend the funeral of
bis sister's little girl, near Creston. The
little one died from bowel trouble and
typhoid fever.
A wedding is scheduled for the route
this week, the groom being AuguBt
Woodrich of Benton Harbor, Mich., and
the bride is Miss Mary Borchers, daugh
ter of Mr. and Mrs. George Borchers of
this route The couple will mnke their
home at Benton Harbor, Mich., where
the groom owns a farm
Advertised Letters.
Following is a list of unclaimed mail
matter remaining in the post office at
Columbus, Nebraska, for the period end
ing February 16. 1910:
Letters Miss Grace Cowdery. N J
Davis, Miss Jennie Harris, C V Rundell.
Cards John Holyn, Isaac Nelson, A
J Welsh 2.
Parties calling for any of the above
will please say advertised.
Carl Kramer, P. M.
A Rattlesnake Story.
In "Life and Sport on the Pacific
Coast" Horace A. Vacuell relates out
of his narrow escapes from a friend's
bullet. "My cousin and I had been
camping and hunting for several days
in a sort of paradise valley. One day
during a long ride on horseback we
had seen a great many rattlesnakes
and killed a few, an exceptional ex
perience. That night my cousin woke
up and saw by the light of the moou
a big rattler crawling across my chest.
He lay for a moment fascinated, hor
ror struck, watching the sinuous curves
of the reptile. Then he quietly reach
ed for his six shooter, but he could not
see the reptile's bead, and he moved
nearer, noiselessly, yet quickly, dread
ing some movemcut on my part that
should precipitate the very thing he
dreaded, and then he saw that it was
not a snake at all only the black and
yellow stripe of my blanket, which
gently rose and fell as I breathed.
Had he fired well, it might have been
bad for me. for he confessed that his
hand shook."
And They Didn't Exercise.
William M. Evarts. who lived until
he was nearly ninety, said he kept his
health by never taking exercise. The
celebrated Dr. William George Mead,
who lived to the surprising age of US
years, spent nearly ail of his time In
the open air and played a little golf.
Dr. Mead used to drink two or three
quarts of water every day. and perhaps
there Is a suggestion in that. Old Du
bois, who lived in Canada for the bet
ter part of 119 years on the north
shore of Lake Erie, never worked and
never took exercise. He spent seventy
five years of his life fishing with hook
and line and nte nothing but baked ap
ples and milk and brown bread and un
salted butter. Perhaps you can live
that long if you do nothing but fish
and eat what old Dubois did. But take
notice that these long livers never ex
ercised. New York Telegraph.
He Didn't Know It.
"What are you doing here?"
"Waitin' on prosperity."
"Why, prosperity passed this way
two months ago!"
"You don't say! That accounts for
the twitchln in my j'ints. I had a idee
that somethfn' or other had run over
me." Atlanta Constitution.
Too Enterprising.
Salesman (lately promoted to curio
department) This necklace, madam,
was originally made for the Duke of
Buckingham, who gave it to Anne of
Austria. We're selling a lot of them.
London Punch.
Painfully Particular.
"She's a delicate eater, isn't she:"
"Very. She even insists upon hav
ing the eggs from one hen." Cleve
land Plain Dealex.
GRACE HAYWARD
.
50c, 75c, $1.00
POSTED HERSELF.
And Then Told the Author About Hit
Book of Travel.
Prince de Talleyrand one day, when
rising from lunch, said to his wife, a
very ignorant lady: "You will have at
your side at dinner tonight a very re
markable man. He has written his
travels. For heaven's sake, do talk
to him sensibly. As you pass through
the library ask for the book and glance
It through and bring the conversation
to this subject Do not forget to ask
for M. Denon's work."
The princess obeyed, but the thought
of the torrent of sarcasm which would
follow an unsuccessful issue of her
lord's commands made her forget the
name of the author. "Give me." said
the princess, addressing the librarian,
"the adventures of this traveler. Lis
ten, now, a name Avhich ends In on.' "
"I know." said the librarian, smil
ing, and he handed her "Robinson
Crusoe."
Mine, de Talleyrand read the book
and was enchanted with the story, and
more so with the thought that she was
to dine with the author. At night she
found herself next to M. Denou at
table. She was not long In turning
the conversation into the line directed
by the prince, so she said to her neigh
bor: "Your travels have Interested me
deeply, monsieur. What joy you must
have experienced in your lonely island
when you found 'Friday!' " From
"L'Esprit de Talleyrand."
HELD HIS JOB.
The Boy Was Willing to Be a Friend
to Senator Hanna.
When Senator Hanna was walking
through his factory in Cleveland some
years ago on the lookout for new
ideas or anything which would aid the
progress of business he overheard a
little red headed lad remark:
"Wish I had old Hanna's money and
he was in the poorhouse."
The senator returned to his ollice
and rang to have the boy sent to him.
The boy came to the office timidly,
just a bit conscience stricken, wonder
ing if his remark had been overheard
and ready for the penalty. As the lad
twisted his liands and nervously stood
on one foot before the gaze of those
twinkling dark eyes fixed on him by
the man at the desk he felt the hand
of Uncle Mark on his shoulder:
"So you wish you had old Hnuna's
money and he was in the poorhouse.
eh? Suppose your wish should be
granted. What would you do?"
"Why." stammered the lad. "the first
thing I would do. sir. would be to get
you out of the poorhouse."
The senator laughed and sent the
boy back to his work. Today he Is
one of the managers of a large fac
tory, but he never tires of telling the
story that held his first job. Joe
Mitchell Chappie In National Maga
zine. Canine Etiquette.
In their relations with one another
dogs have a keen sense of etiquette.
A well known traveler makes this un
expected remark about a tribe of
naked black men living on one of the
south sea islands: "In their everyday
intercourse there is much that is stiff,
formal and precise." Almost the same
remark might be made about dogs.
Unless they are on very Intimate terms
they take great pains never to brush
against or even to touch one another.
For one dog to step over another Is s
dangerous breach of etiquette unless
they are special friends. It Is no un
common thing for two dogs to belong
to the same person and live In the
same house and yet never take the
slightest notice of each other. We
have a spaniel so dignified that he
will never permit another member of
the dog family to pillow his head upon
him; but. with the egotism of a true
aristocrat, he does not hesitate to
make use of the other dogs for thai
purpose. Henry C. Merwin In Atlan
tic. When Lives Were Cheap.
In the prison of Luxembourg one ot
Fouquier Tinville's agents could make
up only seventeen convicts out of the
list of eighteen which had been given
him. "I want one more." be said. He
asked the first suspect who passed by
his name and on hearing it said, "Yes;
it is you." He had him carried off.
and the next day he was guillotined.
On another occasion a warder called
out the name of an aged prisoner. A
lad who was playing ball in the gal
lery mistook the name for his own and
asked if he was wanted. "Yes," was
the answer; "come along," and the
next day the boy was guillotined In
stead of the man.
At Bordeaux a boy of sixteen named
Mellet was guillotined instead of an
old man of eighty namel Bellay. On
objecting he was told that he was
eighty years old in wickedness.
THE UMPIRE WAS 'GAME.
And He Made the Kickers Play O-t
the Last Inning.
Speaking- of the doings of the veter
an umpires, an old timer claims that
Honest John Kelly is entitled to the
record for freak doings among the in
dicator handlers. Back in the Ameri
can association days, In a game played
on the old Union grounds In Alleghe
ny, Galvin was pitching for Pittsburg
against Casey of the Athletics. Kelly
was the umpire. In the ninth inning,
with the score 5 to 0 in favor
of the Athletics, the first man up for
Pittsburg made a home run hit to cen
ter, and the visiting team at once set
up claim that it was too dark to play.
The center fielder came all the way
in and pretended that he could not see
the ball in the gathering darkness.
"Here," said Kelly; "give me a glove,"
and with that be started for center
field. "I'll see how dark It Is out there,"
he said. "You, Casey and Galvin, bat
me out a few." Players and specta
tors gasped, but Kelly made good his
bluff. He went out to deep center
and, with the smoke of the mills lying
low about him, actually caught ten or
fifteen long line drives and high flies
from the bats of the two pitchers with
out missing one.
Then the umpire came in and, taking
off his glove, said: "Play ball. If I can
see 'em out there, you fellows can."
The game was resumed, and the Pitts
burgs won in a great batting rally by
G to 5. New York World.
ANCIENT LONDON.
When Danger and Lantherns Were
Abroad After Dark.
Less than 200 years ago the watch
men of London town, carrying born
Iauthorns and halberds, dressed in long
coats and knee breeches, walked up
and down the cobbled streets of the
world's largest city chanting the fol
lowing verse:
A light there, maids ! Hang- out your light
And see your horns be clear and bright.
That so your candle clear may shine.
Continuing from six to nine.
That honest men that walk along
May see to pass safe without wrong.
It is beyond our comprehension and
imagination in these days of flaming
arc lamps and brilliantly lighted
streets to picture the streets of Lon
don In the lawless age when only a
caudle with a cotton wick was hung
out here and there on dark nights. It
was au age of Iauthorns, of flambeaux
and liukboys, when every one made
his will and prepared for death when
he ventured out at night.
It is so written that It was a com
mon practice in that city for a com
pany of a hundred or more to make
nightly invasions upon houses of the
wealthy to kill and rob, and It is re
corded "that when night was come no
man durst venture to walk in the
streets." Springfield Union.
WET AND DRY MOONS.
Old Superstition and Cold Facts From
the Astronomers.
There is an old superstition which
dies hard, and that is that the posi
tion of the horns of the new moon
tells what the weather will be. If the
horns of the crescent are on the same
level it will hold water, and hence it
Is a dry moon, but If it is tipped up
then the water will run out, and it Is
a wet moon.
One thing has helped keep this be
lief alive. The moon Is "dry" in the
part of the spring that Is usually fair,
while it is "wet" during the season of
autumn rains.
If this were a sure sign of the
weather we could nave our predic
tions published many years in ad
vance, for an astronomer can predict
the exact position of the moon at any
time In the future.
The cause for the different positions
of the crescent is simple. The moon is
south of the sun in the autumn and
north of it in spring. The crescent is
found by the light of the sun falling
on the moon, and the horns are natu
rally in a line perpendicular to the di
rection of the sun from the moon.
That is all there is to this old super
stition. Boston Herald.
Confucius.
Confucius regarded his own life as a
failure. He spoke against ambition,
yet he coveted high office, nothing less
than that of political adviser to some
great ruler. A man of the highest
lineage in China, he was yet poor and
early supported himself by teaching.
His pupils showed him an extraordi
nary devotion. The pick of the young
men in bis native state of Lu sat at
his feet, and it was they who trans
mitted his tremendous Influence. But
Confucius saw not his immortal suc
cess, but his temporal failure. Only
for a few brief years did circumstances
permit him to exercise his practical
genius for government He became
first a magistrate, then chief criminal
judge in Lu, and, to quote Professor
Legge, "crime ceased." Confucius,
however, became dissatisfied with the
ruler whom he served, a weak man
who neglected his duty and gave him
self up more and more to dissipation,
so he resigned his post and banished
himself. London Spectator.
Don't Give Up.
Among some skaters was a boy so
small and so evidently a beginner that
his frequent mishaps awakened the
pity of a tender hearted if not wise
spectator.
"Why. sonny, you are getting all
bumped up." she said. "I wouldn't
stay on the Ice and keep falling down
so; I'd just come off and watch the
others."
The tears of the last downfall were
still rolling over the rosy cheeks, but
the child looked from his adviser to
the shining steel on his feet and an
swered, half indignantly:
"I didn't get some new skates to give
up with; I got 'em to learn how with."
Life's hard tasks are never sent for
us "to give up with;" they are always
Intended to awaken strength, skill and
courage In learning bow to master
them. Selected.
Narrow Escape.
She Of course he bored me awfully,
but I don't think I showed it Every
time I yawned I just hid It with my
hand. He (trying to be gallant) Real
ly I don't see how a hand so small
could er hide er that is beastly
weather we're having, Isn't It? Phila
delphia Press.
Gas Engine
FOR SALE
at a Bargain
One new 2 H. P. Foos Engine,
with pump jack, all complete.
GEO. F. KOHLER
OUR POOR LITTLE EARTH.
A Mere Speck Compared With Some
ef the Monster Suns.
The mam facts of astronomy are
highly interesting. It Is only dry text
books that have made us turn away
from them. Bead a good popular as
tronomy and you will gain a dim, re
mote idea of infinity and eternity.
Sometimes you think you see a big
star, but you do not. You merely see
the light from It which has been 2.B0G
years in reaching us.
Almost everybody knows that our
earth Is a third rate planet In our
solar system. Jupiter would scarcely
condescend to notice us. But they do
not know that our sun itself sits be
low the salt. It would not be admit
ted to a congregation of important
heavenly bodies. Canopus, the lar
gest star that we see. Is 10,000 times
the size of our sun, and our solar cen
ter is hopelessly outclassed by Alde
baran, Bigel, SIrlus. Betelguese and
countless others.
Mark Twain put this fact very well
In one of his stories, "Captain Storm
field's Visit to Heaven." When the
captain arrived and announced that he
was from the earth the recording an
gels could not remember ever having
heard of such a place before. One
finally recalled that it was a poor lit
tle planet belonging to a poor little
solar system away down In a dark cor
ner of the heavens. New York World.
A BRIGHT IDEA.
Unusual Sagacity That Was Lauded by
the Professor.
That the proverbial absentmlnded
professor Is sometimes ably abetted by
his wife is illustrated by a story told
of Professor Bunsen. One evening
about the usual hour for retiring he
took it into his bead to run over to
the club just as he and madam were
returning from an evening call.
"But," said the lady, "1 must have
the front door locked before I retire."
This emergency staggered the pro
fessor, and as he looked bewildered at
bis wife the lady, seized with an In
spiration, continued:
"I'll go in and lock the door and
throw you the key from the window."
This program was carried out. and
when he reached the club the profess
or related the Incident to a friend as
evidence of bis wife's unusual sagac
ity. The friend greeted the story with a
roar of laughter.
"And why, my dear professor," he
said, "did you not simply admit your
wife, lock the door from the outside
and come away?"
"True," ejaculated the learned man
of science, "we never thought of that"
The climax of the incident was
reached an hour later when, returning
home, the professor discovered that
the lady in her excitement bad thrown
out the wrong key.
How They Got Out.
Uncle Epbralm had two bogs, which
be kept In a pen at the rear end of his
little lot They were of the "razor-
back" variety, and, although they were
fed bountifully with kitchen waste, it
seemed impossible to put any fat on
their attenuated frames. One morning
when he went out to feed them they
were not there. They had disappear
ed, leaving no clew to the manner in
which they had made their escape.
"What's the matter. Uncle Eph7"
inquired a neighbor, noticing the deep
dejection with which the old man was
looking down into the empty pen.
"My hawgs is done gone, sab be
answered.
"Stolen?"
"No, sah; I don't see no signs dat
anybody tuck 'em."
"Did they climb out over the top?"
"No; dey couldn't 'a' done dat"
"How do you think they got away?"
"Well, sah," said Uncle Epbralm,
"my 'pinion Is dat dem hawgs kind
o raised delrselves up on aldge an'
crope through a crack." Youth's Com
panion. Wendtrful Memories,
We are told that Pascal never for
got anything he bad seen, heard or
thought Avicenna could repeat by
rote the entire Koran when he was
ten years old. and Francis Suarez had
the whole of St Augustine In his
memory. In three weeks Scaliger, the
famous scholar, committed to memory
every line of the "Iliad" and the
"Odyssey." Another scholar. Justus
Llpslus. offered to repeat the "Histo
ries" of Tacitus without a mistake on
forfeit of his life.
Writing For Money.
Fond Father Yes. my boy at the
varsity has written several articles for
the magazines.
Friend But he's not a professional
writer, surely?
"What do you mean by 'profession
al? "
"Why, he doesn't write for money?"
"Doesn't he? You ought to see
some of bis letters to me!" Exchange.
Possibly True.
Mamma (to a friend who Is lunch
ing with her) I don't know why it is.
but I always eat more when we have
company than when we're alone.
Tommy (helping himself to the third
piece of cake) I know why it Is;
'cause we have better things to eat
Brooklyn Life.
Insult Upon Injury.
"And to make matters worse." com
plained the employee who bad just
been blown up by a premature explo
sion in a quarry, "when 1 claimed
damages the foreman called me a
blasted fool."-Lipplncotf s.
Bind together your spare hours by
the cords of some definite purpose.
William M. Taylor.
NOT A LAW CASE.
Juet Wanted te Knew Her RiaMa and
Hew te Get Them.
In Washington some years agotaec
was a colored woman who dessanded
all that was doe her. On one occasion,
at a period when less care was given
to the water supply than Is now the
case, the colored woman accosted a
man who was just leaving the Dis
trict government buDdinga. "Mlstuh,"
be said, "I wants ter state a case."
"I am not a lawyer, aunty."
" Tatn't no law case. I ain't gwlne
to sue nobody. I Jes' wants to know
what my rights Is an' how to git 'em."
"You see any of the clerks here If
it's government business."
"I ain't got no piece o paper to
shove in at de window so's to get no
ticed. But I's beln 'scriminated
against"
"What's the trouble?" was the kind
ly Inquiry.
"I aln gittin' proper 'tention. Ev'y
once in awhile I hyahs it read out o
de paper dat somebody has got a eel
out'n his hydrant"
"Well, an eel is a very cleanly sort
of creature. It doesn't do any harm."
"You dldn fink I was a-skyabt of
cm, did you? De case I wants to lay
befo' da goverment Is dls: I pays ex
tra rent to klver de water tax. I's had
a hydrant in my back yahd fob foh
teen years an I aln' nebber got no eel
yit
"What I wants to know Is how does
dey 'strlbute dem eels? Is dey prizes
or Is dey favorltlsms or what Is dey?
If dars any eels comln' to me I's
byah wlf my basket, ready to take
dem home right now, 'case we ain't got
no money to buy meat, an' we's kin' of
hongry foh feesh anyhow." Youth's
Companion.
ENTIRELY TOO CAREFUL
Fate of the Flowers the Master Placed
In Water.
A certain good natured doctor whose
doorbell rang late one Saturday night
supposing that the summons was from
some one who needed his services, rose
from bed, put on his dressing gown
and went to the door.
A workingmau stood there, holding
a huge paiter package, from which
buds and leaves were protruding.
"Is Miss Caroline Ward in?" he asked.
"She has retired," returned the doc
tor. Miss Caroline Ward was bis cook.
"I'm sorry, sir, to call so late. Some
thing went wrong with the tramcar 1
was in. I'll leave this for her, sir, if
you will kludly give It to her In the
morning.
"Certainly," said the doctor. He
took the flowers into the kitchen,
placed u disbpan in the sink, drew a
few inches of water in it carefully
pressed the lose of the package Into
the water and went back to bed,
thinking how pleased the cook would
be.
The next morning he found the cook
holding a dripping bundle. She was
angry.
"If I 'ad the pussons 'ere wot dkl
this," said she, "I'd empty the kettle
on 'em! I'd let 'em see if they could
put the 'at what my young man bought
me In a dlshpan, I would!"
The doctor left the kitchen some
what hurriedly. London Scraps.
Might Change His Mind.
Sir Frank Lockwood was defending
a man accused of swindling and in an
eloquent peroration talked of his much
Injured client as an angel of light
When Sir Frank had finished his
speech his client whispered that be
wanted to shake liands with him.
"When first my solicitor told me what
he was paying you," said the client
"I grumbled, but since I have been lis
tening to you I have come to the con
victim that the money was well spent,
and I apologize. That half hour talk
of yours about me has done me good.
It is many years since I have experi
enced the luxury of self respect, and It
is worth the money."
"Oh, that's all right," said Sir Frank
genially, "but you take my advice and
go out of court Sir Edward Clarke,
the lawyer on the other skle, Is Just
going to speak."
Poorly Paid Toymakers.
The toymakers of Sonneberg are
among the worst paid work people in
Germany. It often happens that the
earnings of a Sonneberg workman
and bis family, working sixteen hours
a day, do not exceed $2.40 a week.
About three years ago there was an
exhibition of home industries In Ber
lin where articles from Sonneberg
were displayed, the making of which
was paid for at the rate of 4 cents
an hour. Numerous Instances are on
record of children after school hoars
working six hours at a stretch color
ing and polishing the heads of dolls
for a pittance of IVi cents an hoar.
Chicago News.
The Kings of Denmark.
The dust of the Danish kings is kept
in a great cathedral at Roskilde. an
old town twenty miles from Copen
hagen. Every year the entire royal
family always pay a visit to Roskilde
In obedience to an ancient custom.
On one of the pillars are marks show
ing the height of Peter the Great
Nicholas the Iron Czar, Alexander III.
of Russia, the king of England and
many other kings. The cathedral was
built In the eleventh century. It has
two mighty towers, which can be seen
at a long distance. The oldest grave
is that of King Harold I., who died in
987.
His Mistake.
Irate Customer See here! That stu
dent lamp you sold me a week ago is
no good. It won't work.
Dealer Beg pardon, air. 1 ought to
have told you it was a college student
lamp. Pock.
Made It Vwy Clear.
"How do you suppose she manages
to keep up appearances on her bus
band's income?"
"What is her husband's Income?"
"I don't know; but of course. It can't
be as big as it would have to be if they
could afford to live as they do." Chi
cago Record-Herald.
The New England Spirit
One thing we New Englanders like
about as Is our all around superiority
to the people of the rest of this great
and glorious coantry. Springfield Union.
Better Plumbing
lifANY homes should have better bath rooms
than they now have. We have always
tried not only to do better
plumbing than we ever did
before, but better than any
body else can do. The vol
ume ,of work we are now
doing shows how we are suc
ceeding. We use only genuine "Jlanahssr
plumbing fixtures and employ only
experienced workmen. Our repair
ing service b prompt and reliable.
A. DUSSJELL, & SON.
ColumBms,
HER ONE QUESTION.
The Weman In the Case, as Usual.
Had the Last Word.
When Mr. Jenkins went to bis bed
room at half past 1 It was with the
determination of going to sleep aud
with another determination that he
would not be interviewed by Mrs. Jen
kins. So as soon as be had entered
the door and deposited his lamp upon
the dressing table he commenced to
undress and to make his speech:
"I locked the front door. 1 put the
chain on. I pulled the key out a little
bit The dog Is inside. I put the kit
ten out I emptied the drip pan of
the refrigerator. The cook took the
sliver to bed with her. I put a caue
under the knob of the back hall door.
1 put the fastenings over the bath
room windows. The parlor fire has
coal on. I put the cake box back in
the closet I did not drink all the milk.
It is not going to rain. Nobody gave
me any message for you. I mailed
your letter as soon as I got downtown.
Your mother did not call at the office.
Nobody died that we are Interested In.
Did not bear of a marriage or engage
ment I was very busy at the office
making out bills. I have bung my
clothes over chair backs. I want a
new egg for breakfast I think that
Is all, and I will now put out the
light"
Mr. Jenkins felt that he bad hedged
against all inquiry, and a triumphant
smile was upon his face as he took
hold of the gas check and sighted a
line for the bed when be was earth
quaked by the query from Mrs. Jen
kins, "Why don't you take off your
hat?" Argonaut
A STORY OF MEISSONIER.
The Painter's Two Breakfasts With a
Stingy Art Patren.
Melssonler once got acquainted with
a Parisian grandee, very wealtny, very
fond of Doslnz as an art patron, but
slightly penurious. One day Melsso
nler, breakfasting with the grandee,
was struck by the beauty of the tex
ture of the tablecloth. "One could
draw upon it," he remarked, and, suit
ing the action to the word, be produced
a pencil and made on the smooth,
snowy nap a wonderfully able 'sketch
of a man's head. The particular table
cloth in question never went to the
wash. The "economical swell" bad
the head carefully cut out of the dam
ask and hastened to frame and glaze
bis prize. A few weeks afterward
Melssonler again breakfasted with his
patron and found by the side of his
plate at the corner of the table assign
ed to bim a neat little sheaf of crayons
and holders, with a penknife and some
India rubber.
While the guests, at the conclusion
of the repast, were enjoying their cof
fee and cigarettes the host saw with
delight "from the corner of his eye"
that Messonler was hard at work on
the tablecloth, this time with a su
perb little full length of a mediaeval
halberdier. The party broke up, the
guests departed, aud the "economical
swell" rushed back to tbe dining room
to secure his treasure. But, alas, the
painter had for once shown himself
as economical as bis patron! He bad
made disastrously good use of the pen
knife, and one corner of the tablecloth
was gone, halberdier and all!
Bismarck en the Throne of France.
Bismarck on the throne of France!
Bismarck was once spoken of In that
connection, and by Napoleon too! It
was during tbe detention of the de
throned emperor at Wllhelmshohe In
1871, when Napoleon and some mem
bers of bis staff were discussing tbe
probability of Napoleon reascendlng
tbe French throne and news of the do
ings of the commune was brought In.
"Horrible too horrible!" exclaimed
le petit empereur.
And then after a long silence he re
sumed, "I know a man who if on the
French throne would be master of
Germany in six months."
"His name, sire?" asked bis nephew.
Prince Murat
"Bismarck," replied tbe emperor as
he turned on his beeL
A Curious Barometer.
A curious barometer is said to be
used by tbe remnant of tbe Arauea
nian race which inhabits the southern
most province of Chile. It consists of
tbe castoff shell of a crab. Tbe dead
shell Is white in fan, dry weather, but
tbe approach of a moist atmosphere Is
indicated by tbe appearance of small
red spots. As the moisture In the ait
Increases the shell becomes entirely
red and remains so throughout the
rainy season.
Told Often Enough.
"I ought to know what is right and
proper."
"So?"
"Yes; I've three grownup daughters
at home to tell me." Detroit Free
Press.
An Old Saying Amended.
The Man Won't you marry me,
then? Bachelor Girl-Certainly not!
When singleness is bliss 'tis folly to
be wives. Illustrated Bits.
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Nebraska
THE MICROSCOPE
It Has Its Prototype In Every Spher
ical Drop of Water.
Nature offers a free mleroso-ve
whenever one is wanted. She has
been dealing in free optical instru
ments ami optical phenomena ever
since the Urst dewdrop termed or the
first raindrop full earthward. Every
dewdrop and ruiudrop and spherical
water drop has all the powers a nil
principles of a iuieroseoie. To get
one of nature's microscopes lu opera
tion take up a drop of water between
the two points of two sharpened sticks.
say matches, and hold the drop over
the minute object to be examined. The
result will be that the object will be
magnified about three diameters. The
supposed invention of the microscope
was nothiug more than shaping a
piece of glass into an Imitation of a
water drop so as to be easily handled.
Spiders have made suspension bridges
for ages. The rough edge of sword
grass gave the Inventor the Idea of
the reaper blade for the harvester.
The buzzard has been using the aero
plane for flying u good many centuries.
By tapping on an end of a long beam
tbe man at the farther end cau henr
you telegraphing, the sound traveling
through the timber. Fishes have been
using bladders of wind for balloons.
lifting them in water for countless
years. Water has been a camera ever
Blnce the world had sunshine.
Help yourself to nature's store of all
things man needs, but never say any
thing about the invention. Nature In
vented; you can only arrange and com
bine facts.-St. Louis Republic.
WAItK EXPERTS.
Feats ef Diving That Are Performed
by Swedish Swimmers.
The Swedes delight In "combination
diving," aud two men will perforin
many clever feats together. One of
the most grotesque of these is when
one man stands upright on a spring
board aud tightly clasps another mnu'.s
body round the waist, holding him
head downward and puttiug his own
head through the man's legs. When
the upright man springs from the
board he throws his legs into the air
so that the two men. clasping each oth
er tightly round the waist, turn a som
ersault, and wheu they reach the wa
ter the man who started upside down
arrives feet foremost
The handspring dive Is a very effec
tive specialty of Swedish swimmers.
The performer takes off from the div
lng board with hands instead of feet,
turning bis body in order to descend
feet foremost or somersaulting to ar
rive head downward.
Very graceful also is the back dive.
In which the spring Is made backward,
the body turulng toward tbe spring
board. Double somersault dives are. made
from platforms thirty to fifty feet
high, tbe diver making two turns in
tbe air and entering the water feet
foremost Loudon Saturday Review.
London's Police Press.
An article In the Illustrated English
Magazine gives an account of the print
lng department of Scotland Yard and
the astonishing amount of work it
turns out. Four times a day a broad
side Is Issued to all the police officer-.
At 9 In the morning the first is sent
out, giving an Inventory of nil property
lost At noon is issued a list of all
persons missing, and this often occu
pies several pages. At half past i
the broadside contains both subjects.
and also at half past 10. A habitual
crimlunl register Is distributed and
every few days an account of persons
released on tickets of leave. A sheet
of missing articles Is sent to every
pawnbroker, and as many as 4.000
copies of this document are needed.
This is only a small part of the work
done by tbe Scotland Yard press.
When You Csn't Sleep.
There Is an odd theory, which mam
people believe aud which is certaiulv
harmless, that sleeplessness may often
be cured in the following odd way
Move your bed out into the room so
that no part of bed or covers will touch
the wall. Then place under each caster
of the bed a i&ece of rubher or a rub
ber overshoe or set the caster In a
thick glass dish. Then go to bed, muk
tog sure the covers do not touch the
wall. Thus the bed and yourself will
be cut off from all electric contact with
floor or wall. Such absence of electric
contact, It Is claimed, will make yon
sleep better. It Is said to have cure.
stubborn cases of insomnia.
Hew to Open a New Book.
The best way to open a new book
without risk of injuring it is to place it
on Its back upon a smooth or covered
table, let down tbe fore and then the
hind board, hold the leaves in one hand
and open a few of the fore and after
ward tbe end leaves until you reach
the center of the volume. Do this sev
eral times and you will not break the
back of the book.
His Way of Putting It.
SlUicus Do you believe there Is
honor among thieves? Cynicus No;
they are just as bad as other people.
Philadelphia Record.
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