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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 16, 1910)
.Mif&aw i NORTH THEATRE Wednesday, Februay 23d An Extraordinary Offering . . . Augusta J. Evans' Stirring Narrative . . . ST. ELMO DRAMATIZED BY Author of "Graustark' Greatest Book Play of the Decade Nothing quite so Interesting or Unique has been pro duced in years The Story of the Triumph Over a Blackened Soul PRICES 25c, Route No. 5. The cold snap of Tuesday and Wed nesday stopped work on the Platte river bridge for a day or two. Carrier No. 5 now has to employ two conveyances to serve the route. One of them, the regular mail wagon, is kept at the home of Charles Klaus, south of the Platte, and the other one. which makes the trip from town to the Platte bridge, is at the carrier's home. But there is hope that this inconvenience will be done away with in a few days. Route No. 3. Born, on Sunday. February 13, to Mr. and Mrs. H D. Claussen, a daughter. Henry Bargman, in rompany with hi. brother Fred of Riverdale, left last Sat urday for Herkimer, Kas . for a ten daye visit with relatives. Fred Dyke, who is attending sohool at the state normal at Kearney, came home Monday to attend the funeral of bis sister's little girl, near Creston. The little one died from bowel trouble and typhoid fever. A wedding is scheduled for the route this week, the groom being AuguBt Woodrich of Benton Harbor, Mich., and the bride is Miss Mary Borchers, daugh ter of Mr. and Mrs. George Borchers of this route The couple will mnke their home at Benton Harbor, Mich., where the groom owns a farm Advertised Letters. Following is a list of unclaimed mail matter remaining in the post office at Columbus, Nebraska, for the period end ing February 16. 1910: Letters Miss Grace Cowdery. N J Davis, Miss Jennie Harris, C V Rundell. Cards John Holyn, Isaac Nelson, A J Welsh 2. Parties calling for any of the above will please say advertised. Carl Kramer, P. M. A Rattlesnake Story. In "Life and Sport on the Pacific Coast" Horace A. Vacuell relates out of his narrow escapes from a friend's bullet. "My cousin and I had been camping and hunting for several days in a sort of paradise valley. One day during a long ride on horseback we had seen a great many rattlesnakes and killed a few, an exceptional ex perience. That night my cousin woke up and saw by the light of the moou a big rattler crawling across my chest. He lay for a moment fascinated, hor ror struck, watching the sinuous curves of the reptile. Then he quietly reach ed for his six shooter, but he could not see the reptile's bead, and he moved nearer, noiselessly, yet quickly, dread ing some movemcut on my part that should precipitate the very thing he dreaded, and then he saw that it was not a snake at all only the black and yellow stripe of my blanket, which gently rose and fell as I breathed. Had he fired well, it might have been bad for me. for he confessed that his hand shook." And They Didn't Exercise. William M. Evarts. who lived until he was nearly ninety, said he kept his health by never taking exercise. The celebrated Dr. William George Mead, who lived to the surprising age of US years, spent nearly ail of his time In the open air and played a little golf. Dr. Mead used to drink two or three quarts of water every day. and perhaps there Is a suggestion in that. Old Du bois, who lived in Canada for the bet ter part of 119 years on the north shore of Lake Erie, never worked and never took exercise. He spent seventy five years of his life fishing with hook and line and nte nothing but baked ap ples and milk and brown bread and un salted butter. Perhaps you can live that long if you do nothing but fish and eat what old Dubois did. But take notice that these long livers never ex ercised. New York Telegraph. He Didn't Know It. "What are you doing here?" "Waitin' on prosperity." "Why, prosperity passed this way two months ago!" "You don't say! That accounts for the twitchln in my j'ints. I had a idee that somethfn' or other had run over me." Atlanta Constitution. Too Enterprising. Salesman (lately promoted to curio department) This necklace, madam, was originally made for the Duke of Buckingham, who gave it to Anne of Austria. We're selling a lot of them. London Punch. Painfully Particular. "She's a delicate eater, isn't she:" "Very. She even insists upon hav ing the eggs from one hen." Cleve land Plain Dealex. GRACE HAYWARD . 50c, 75c, $1.00 POSTED HERSELF. And Then Told the Author About Hit Book of Travel. Prince de Talleyrand one day, when rising from lunch, said to his wife, a very ignorant lady: "You will have at your side at dinner tonight a very re markable man. He has written his travels. For heaven's sake, do talk to him sensibly. As you pass through the library ask for the book and glance It through and bring the conversation to this subject Do not forget to ask for M. Denon's work." The princess obeyed, but the thought of the torrent of sarcasm which would follow an unsuccessful issue of her lord's commands made her forget the name of the author. "Give me." said the princess, addressing the librarian, "the adventures of this traveler. Lis ten, now, a name Avhich ends In on.' " "I know." said the librarian, smil ing, and he handed her "Robinson Crusoe." Mine, de Talleyrand read the book and was enchanted with the story, and more so with the thought that she was to dine with the author. At night she found herself next to M. Denou at table. She was not long In turning the conversation into the line directed by the prince, so she said to her neigh bor: "Your travels have Interested me deeply, monsieur. What joy you must have experienced in your lonely island when you found 'Friday!' " From "L'Esprit de Talleyrand." HELD HIS JOB. The Boy Was Willing to Be a Friend to Senator Hanna. When Senator Hanna was walking through his factory in Cleveland some years ago on the lookout for new ideas or anything which would aid the progress of business he overheard a little red headed lad remark: "Wish I had old Hanna's money and he was in the poorhouse." The senator returned to his ollice and rang to have the boy sent to him. The boy came to the office timidly, just a bit conscience stricken, wonder ing if his remark had been overheard and ready for the penalty. As the lad twisted his liands and nervously stood on one foot before the gaze of those twinkling dark eyes fixed on him by the man at the desk he felt the hand of Uncle Mark on his shoulder: "So you wish you had old Hnuna's money and he was in the poorhouse. eh? Suppose your wish should be granted. What would you do?" "Why." stammered the lad. "the first thing I would do. sir. would be to get you out of the poorhouse." The senator laughed and sent the boy back to his work. Today he Is one of the managers of a large fac tory, but he never tires of telling the story that held his first job. Joe Mitchell Chappie In National Maga zine. Canine Etiquette. In their relations with one another dogs have a keen sense of etiquette. A well known traveler makes this un expected remark about a tribe of naked black men living on one of the south sea islands: "In their everyday intercourse there is much that is stiff, formal and precise." Almost the same remark might be made about dogs. Unless they are on very Intimate terms they take great pains never to brush against or even to touch one another. For one dog to step over another Is s dangerous breach of etiquette unless they are special friends. It Is no un common thing for two dogs to belong to the same person and live In the same house and yet never take the slightest notice of each other. We have a spaniel so dignified that he will never permit another member of the dog family to pillow his head upon him; but. with the egotism of a true aristocrat, he does not hesitate to make use of the other dogs for thai purpose. Henry C. Merwin In Atlan tic. When Lives Were Cheap. In the prison of Luxembourg one ot Fouquier Tinville's agents could make up only seventeen convicts out of the list of eighteen which had been given him. "I want one more." be said. He asked the first suspect who passed by his name and on hearing it said, "Yes; it is you." He had him carried off. and the next day he was guillotined. On another occasion a warder called out the name of an aged prisoner. A lad who was playing ball in the gal lery mistook the name for his own and asked if he was wanted. "Yes," was the answer; "come along," and the next day the boy was guillotined In stead of the man. At Bordeaux a boy of sixteen named Mellet was guillotined instead of an old man of eighty namel Bellay. On objecting he was told that he was eighty years old in wickedness. THE UMPIRE WAS 'GAME. And He Made the Kickers Play O-t the Last Inning. Speaking- of the doings of the veter an umpires, an old timer claims that Honest John Kelly is entitled to the record for freak doings among the in dicator handlers. Back in the Ameri can association days, In a game played on the old Union grounds In Alleghe ny, Galvin was pitching for Pittsburg against Casey of the Athletics. Kelly was the umpire. In the ninth inning, with the score 5 to 0 in favor of the Athletics, the first man up for Pittsburg made a home run hit to cen ter, and the visiting team at once set up claim that it was too dark to play. The center fielder came all the way in and pretended that he could not see the ball in the gathering darkness. "Here," said Kelly; "give me a glove," and with that be started for center field. "I'll see how dark It Is out there," he said. "You, Casey and Galvin, bat me out a few." Players and specta tors gasped, but Kelly made good his bluff. He went out to deep center and, with the smoke of the mills lying low about him, actually caught ten or fifteen long line drives and high flies from the bats of the two pitchers with out missing one. Then the umpire came in and, taking off his glove, said: "Play ball. If I can see 'em out there, you fellows can." The game was resumed, and the Pitts burgs won in a great batting rally by G to 5. New York World. ANCIENT LONDON. When Danger and Lantherns Were Abroad After Dark. Less than 200 years ago the watch men of London town, carrying born Iauthorns and halberds, dressed in long coats and knee breeches, walked up and down the cobbled streets of the world's largest city chanting the fol lowing verse: A light there, maids ! Hang- out your light And see your horns be clear and bright. That so your candle clear may shine. Continuing from six to nine. That honest men that walk along May see to pass safe without wrong. It is beyond our comprehension and imagination in these days of flaming arc lamps and brilliantly lighted streets to picture the streets of Lon don In the lawless age when only a caudle with a cotton wick was hung out here and there on dark nights. It was au age of Iauthorns, of flambeaux and liukboys, when every one made his will and prepared for death when he ventured out at night. It is so written that It was a com mon practice in that city for a com pany of a hundred or more to make nightly invasions upon houses of the wealthy to kill and rob, and It is re corded "that when night was come no man durst venture to walk in the streets." Springfield Union. WET AND DRY MOONS. Old Superstition and Cold Facts From the Astronomers. There is an old superstition which dies hard, and that is that the posi tion of the horns of the new moon tells what the weather will be. If the horns of the crescent are on the same level it will hold water, and hence it Is a dry moon, but If it is tipped up then the water will run out, and it Is a wet moon. One thing has helped keep this be lief alive. The moon Is "dry" in the part of the spring that Is usually fair, while it is "wet" during the season of autumn rains. If this were a sure sign of the weather we could nave our predic tions published many years in ad vance, for an astronomer can predict the exact position of the moon at any time In the future. The cause for the different positions of the crescent is simple. The moon is south of the sun in the autumn and north of it in spring. The crescent is found by the light of the sun falling on the moon, and the horns are natu rally in a line perpendicular to the di rection of the sun from the moon. That is all there is to this old super stition. Boston Herald. Confucius. Confucius regarded his own life as a failure. He spoke against ambition, yet he coveted high office, nothing less than that of political adviser to some great ruler. A man of the highest lineage in China, he was yet poor and early supported himself by teaching. His pupils showed him an extraordi nary devotion. The pick of the young men in bis native state of Lu sat at his feet, and it was they who trans mitted his tremendous Influence. But Confucius saw not his immortal suc cess, but his temporal failure. Only for a few brief years did circumstances permit him to exercise his practical genius for government He became first a magistrate, then chief criminal judge in Lu, and, to quote Professor Legge, "crime ceased." Confucius, however, became dissatisfied with the ruler whom he served, a weak man who neglected his duty and gave him self up more and more to dissipation, so he resigned his post and banished himself. London Spectator. Don't Give Up. Among some skaters was a boy so small and so evidently a beginner that his frequent mishaps awakened the pity of a tender hearted if not wise spectator. "Why. sonny, you are getting all bumped up." she said. "I wouldn't stay on the Ice and keep falling down so; I'd just come off and watch the others." The tears of the last downfall were still rolling over the rosy cheeks, but the child looked from his adviser to the shining steel on his feet and an swered, half indignantly: "I didn't get some new skates to give up with; I got 'em to learn how with." Life's hard tasks are never sent for us "to give up with;" they are always Intended to awaken strength, skill and courage In learning bow to master them. Selected. Narrow Escape. She Of course he bored me awfully, but I don't think I showed it Every time I yawned I just hid It with my hand. He (trying to be gallant) Real ly I don't see how a hand so small could er hide er that is beastly weather we're having, Isn't It? Phila delphia Press. Gas Engine FOR SALE at a Bargain One new 2 H. P. Foos Engine, with pump jack, all complete. GEO. F. KOHLER OUR POOR LITTLE EARTH. A Mere Speck Compared With Some ef the Monster Suns. The mam facts of astronomy are highly interesting. It Is only dry text books that have made us turn away from them. Bead a good popular as tronomy and you will gain a dim, re mote idea of infinity and eternity. Sometimes you think you see a big star, but you do not. You merely see the light from It which has been 2.B0G years in reaching us. Almost everybody knows that our earth Is a third rate planet In our solar system. Jupiter would scarcely condescend to notice us. But they do not know that our sun itself sits be low the salt. It would not be admit ted to a congregation of important heavenly bodies. Canopus, the lar gest star that we see. Is 10,000 times the size of our sun, and our solar cen ter is hopelessly outclassed by Alde baran, Bigel, SIrlus. Betelguese and countless others. Mark Twain put this fact very well In one of his stories, "Captain Storm field's Visit to Heaven." When the captain arrived and announced that he was from the earth the recording an gels could not remember ever having heard of such a place before. One finally recalled that it was a poor lit tle planet belonging to a poor little solar system away down In a dark cor ner of the heavens. New York World. A BRIGHT IDEA. Unusual Sagacity That Was Lauded by the Professor. That the proverbial absentmlnded professor Is sometimes ably abetted by his wife is illustrated by a story told of Professor Bunsen. One evening about the usual hour for retiring he took it into his bead to run over to the club just as he and madam were returning from an evening call. "But," said the lady, "1 must have the front door locked before I retire." This emergency staggered the pro fessor, and as he looked bewildered at bis wife the lady, seized with an In spiration, continued: "I'll go in and lock the door and throw you the key from the window." This program was carried out. and when he reached the club the profess or related the Incident to a friend as evidence of bis wife's unusual sagac ity. The friend greeted the story with a roar of laughter. "And why, my dear professor," he said, "did you not simply admit your wife, lock the door from the outside and come away?" "True," ejaculated the learned man of science, "we never thought of that" The climax of the incident was reached an hour later when, returning home, the professor discovered that the lady in her excitement bad thrown out the wrong key. How They Got Out. Uncle Epbralm had two bogs, which be kept In a pen at the rear end of his little lot They were of the "razor- back" variety, and, although they were fed bountifully with kitchen waste, it seemed impossible to put any fat on their attenuated frames. One morning when he went out to feed them they were not there. They had disappear ed, leaving no clew to the manner in which they had made their escape. "What's the matter. Uncle Eph7" inquired a neighbor, noticing the deep dejection with which the old man was looking down into the empty pen. "My hawgs is done gone, sab be answered. "Stolen?" "No, sah; I don't see no signs dat anybody tuck 'em." "Did they climb out over the top?" "No; dey couldn't 'a' done dat" "How do you think they got away?" "Well, sah," said Uncle Epbralm, "my 'pinion Is dat dem hawgs kind o raised delrselves up on aldge an' crope through a crack." Youth's Com panion. Wendtrful Memories, We are told that Pascal never for got anything he bad seen, heard or thought Avicenna could repeat by rote the entire Koran when he was ten years old. and Francis Suarez had the whole of St Augustine In his memory. In three weeks Scaliger, the famous scholar, committed to memory every line of the "Iliad" and the "Odyssey." Another scholar. Justus Llpslus. offered to repeat the "Histo ries" of Tacitus without a mistake on forfeit of his life. Writing For Money. Fond Father Yes. my boy at the varsity has written several articles for the magazines. Friend But he's not a professional writer, surely? "What do you mean by 'profession al? " "Why, he doesn't write for money?" "Doesn't he? You ought to see some of bis letters to me!" Exchange. Possibly True. Mamma (to a friend who Is lunch ing with her) I don't know why it is. but I always eat more when we have company than when we're alone. Tommy (helping himself to the third piece of cake) I know why it Is; 'cause we have better things to eat Brooklyn Life. Insult Upon Injury. "And to make matters worse." com plained the employee who bad just been blown up by a premature explo sion in a quarry, "when 1 claimed damages the foreman called me a blasted fool."-Lipplncotf s. Bind together your spare hours by the cords of some definite purpose. William M. Taylor. NOT A LAW CASE. Juet Wanted te Knew Her RiaMa and Hew te Get Them. In Washington some years agotaec was a colored woman who dessanded all that was doe her. On one occasion, at a period when less care was given to the water supply than Is now the case, the colored woman accosted a man who was just leaving the Dis trict government buDdinga. "Mlstuh," be said, "I wants ter state a case." "I am not a lawyer, aunty." " Tatn't no law case. I ain't gwlne to sue nobody. I Jes' wants to know what my rights Is an' how to git 'em." "You see any of the clerks here If it's government business." "I ain't got no piece o paper to shove in at de window so's to get no ticed. But I's beln 'scriminated against" "What's the trouble?" was the kind ly Inquiry. "I aln gittin' proper 'tention. Ev'y once in awhile I hyahs it read out o de paper dat somebody has got a eel out'n his hydrant" "Well, an eel is a very cleanly sort of creature. It doesn't do any harm." "You dldn fink I was a-skyabt of cm, did you? De case I wants to lay befo' da goverment Is dls: I pays ex tra rent to klver de water tax. I's had a hydrant in my back yahd fob foh teen years an I aln' nebber got no eel yit "What I wants to know Is how does dey 'strlbute dem eels? Is dey prizes or Is dey favorltlsms or what Is dey? If dars any eels comln' to me I's byah wlf my basket, ready to take dem home right now, 'case we ain't got no money to buy meat, an' we's kin' of hongry foh feesh anyhow." Youth's Companion. ENTIRELY TOO CAREFUL Fate of the Flowers the Master Placed In Water. A certain good natured doctor whose doorbell rang late one Saturday night supposing that the summons was from some one who needed his services, rose from bed, put on his dressing gown and went to the door. A workingmau stood there, holding a huge paiter package, from which buds and leaves were protruding. "Is Miss Caroline Ward in?" he asked. "She has retired," returned the doc tor. Miss Caroline Ward was bis cook. "I'm sorry, sir, to call so late. Some thing went wrong with the tramcar 1 was in. I'll leave this for her, sir, if you will kludly give It to her In the morning. "Certainly," said the doctor. He took the flowers into the kitchen, placed u disbpan in the sink, drew a few inches of water in it carefully pressed the lose of the package Into the water and went back to bed, thinking how pleased the cook would be. The next morning he found the cook holding a dripping bundle. She was angry. "If I 'ad the pussons 'ere wot dkl this," said she, "I'd empty the kettle on 'em! I'd let 'em see if they could put the 'at what my young man bought me In a dlshpan, I would!" The doctor left the kitchen some what hurriedly. London Scraps. Might Change His Mind. Sir Frank Lockwood was defending a man accused of swindling and in an eloquent peroration talked of his much Injured client as an angel of light When Sir Frank had finished his speech his client whispered that be wanted to shake liands with him. "When first my solicitor told me what he was paying you," said the client "I grumbled, but since I have been lis tening to you I have come to the con victim that the money was well spent, and I apologize. That half hour talk of yours about me has done me good. It is many years since I have experi enced the luxury of self respect, and It is worth the money." "Oh, that's all right," said Sir Frank genially, "but you take my advice and go out of court Sir Edward Clarke, the lawyer on the other skle, Is Just going to speak." Poorly Paid Toymakers. The toymakers of Sonneberg are among the worst paid work people in Germany. It often happens that the earnings of a Sonneberg workman and bis family, working sixteen hours a day, do not exceed $2.40 a week. About three years ago there was an exhibition of home industries In Ber lin where articles from Sonneberg were displayed, the making of which was paid for at the rate of 4 cents an hour. Numerous Instances are on record of children after school hoars working six hours at a stretch color ing and polishing the heads of dolls for a pittance of IVi cents an hoar. Chicago News. The Kings of Denmark. The dust of the Danish kings is kept in a great cathedral at Roskilde. an old town twenty miles from Copen hagen. Every year the entire royal family always pay a visit to Roskilde In obedience to an ancient custom. On one of the pillars are marks show ing the height of Peter the Great Nicholas the Iron Czar, Alexander III. of Russia, the king of England and many other kings. The cathedral was built In the eleventh century. It has two mighty towers, which can be seen at a long distance. The oldest grave is that of King Harold I., who died in 987. His Mistake. Irate Customer See here! That stu dent lamp you sold me a week ago is no good. It won't work. Dealer Beg pardon, air. 1 ought to have told you it was a college student lamp. Pock. Made It Vwy Clear. "How do you suppose she manages to keep up appearances on her bus band's income?" "What is her husband's Income?" "I don't know; but of course. It can't be as big as it would have to be if they could afford to live as they do." Chi cago Record-Herald. The New England Spirit One thing we New Englanders like about as Is our all around superiority to the people of the rest of this great and glorious coantry. Springfield Union. Better Plumbing lifANY homes should have better bath rooms than they now have. We have always tried not only to do better plumbing than we ever did before, but better than any body else can do. The vol ume ,of work we are now doing shows how we are suc ceeding. We use only genuine "Jlanahssr plumbing fixtures and employ only experienced workmen. Our repair ing service b prompt and reliable. A. DUSSJELL, & SON. ColumBms, HER ONE QUESTION. The Weman In the Case, as Usual. Had the Last Word. When Mr. Jenkins went to bis bed room at half past 1 It was with the determination of going to sleep aud with another determination that he would not be interviewed by Mrs. Jen kins. So as soon as be had entered the door and deposited his lamp upon the dressing table he commenced to undress and to make his speech: "I locked the front door. 1 put the chain on. I pulled the key out a little bit The dog Is inside. I put the kit ten out I emptied the drip pan of the refrigerator. The cook took the sliver to bed with her. I put a caue under the knob of the back hall door. 1 put the fastenings over the bath room windows. The parlor fire has coal on. I put the cake box back in the closet I did not drink all the milk. It is not going to rain. Nobody gave me any message for you. I mailed your letter as soon as I got downtown. Your mother did not call at the office. Nobody died that we are Interested In. Did not bear of a marriage or engage ment I was very busy at the office making out bills. I have bung my clothes over chair backs. I want a new egg for breakfast I think that Is all, and I will now put out the light" Mr. Jenkins felt that he bad hedged against all inquiry, and a triumphant smile was upon his face as he took hold of the gas check and sighted a line for the bed when be was earth quaked by the query from Mrs. Jen kins, "Why don't you take off your hat?" Argonaut A STORY OF MEISSONIER. The Painter's Two Breakfasts With a Stingy Art Patren. Melssonler once got acquainted with a Parisian grandee, very wealtny, very fond of Doslnz as an art patron, but slightly penurious. One day Melsso nler, breakfasting with the grandee, was struck by the beauty of the tex ture of the tablecloth. "One could draw upon it," he remarked, and, suit ing the action to the word, be produced a pencil and made on the smooth, snowy nap a wonderfully able 'sketch of a man's head. The particular table cloth in question never went to the wash. The "economical swell" bad the head carefully cut out of the dam ask and hastened to frame and glaze bis prize. A few weeks afterward Melssonler again breakfasted with his patron and found by the side of his plate at the corner of the table assign ed to bim a neat little sheaf of crayons and holders, with a penknife and some India rubber. While the guests, at the conclusion of the repast, were enjoying their cof fee and cigarettes the host saw with delight "from the corner of his eye" that Messonler was hard at work on the tablecloth, this time with a su perb little full length of a mediaeval halberdier. The party broke up, the guests departed, aud the "economical swell" rushed back to tbe dining room to secure his treasure. But, alas, the painter had for once shown himself as economical as bis patron! He bad made disastrously good use of the pen knife, and one corner of the tablecloth was gone, halberdier and all! Bismarck en the Throne of France. Bismarck on the throne of France! Bismarck was once spoken of In that connection, and by Napoleon too! It was during tbe detention of the de throned emperor at Wllhelmshohe In 1871, when Napoleon and some mem bers of bis staff were discussing tbe probability of Napoleon reascendlng tbe French throne and news of the do ings of the commune was brought In. "Horrible too horrible!" exclaimed le petit empereur. And then after a long silence he re sumed, "I know a man who if on the French throne would be master of Germany in six months." "His name, sire?" asked bis nephew. Prince Murat "Bismarck," replied tbe emperor as he turned on his beeL A Curious Barometer. A curious barometer is said to be used by tbe remnant of tbe Arauea nian race which inhabits the southern most province of Chile. It consists of tbe castoff shell of a crab. Tbe dead shell Is white in fan, dry weather, but tbe approach of a moist atmosphere Is indicated by tbe appearance of small red spots. As the moisture In the ait Increases the shell becomes entirely red and remains so throughout the rainy season. Told Often Enough. "I ought to know what is right and proper." "So?" "Yes; I've three grownup daughters at home to tell me." Detroit Free Press. An Old Saying Amended. The Man Won't you marry me, then? Bachelor Girl-Certainly not! When singleness is bliss 'tis folly to be wives. Illustrated Bits. ggssSa52l?C9 fe ri S Nebraska THE MICROSCOPE It Has Its Prototype In Every Spher ical Drop of Water. Nature offers a free mleroso-ve whenever one is wanted. She has been dealing in free optical instru ments ami optical phenomena ever since the Urst dewdrop termed or the first raindrop full earthward. Every dewdrop and ruiudrop and spherical water drop has all the powers a nil principles of a iuieroseoie. To get one of nature's microscopes lu opera tion take up a drop of water between the two points of two sharpened sticks. say matches, and hold the drop over the minute object to be examined. The result will be that the object will be magnified about three diameters. The supposed invention of the microscope was nothiug more than shaping a piece of glass into an Imitation of a water drop so as to be easily handled. Spiders have made suspension bridges for ages. The rough edge of sword grass gave the Inventor the Idea of the reaper blade for the harvester. The buzzard has been using the aero plane for flying u good many centuries. By tapping on an end of a long beam tbe man at the farther end cau henr you telegraphing, the sound traveling through the timber. Fishes have been using bladders of wind for balloons. lifting them in water for countless years. Water has been a camera ever Blnce the world had sunshine. Help yourself to nature's store of all things man needs, but never say any thing about the invention. Nature In vented; you can only arrange and com bine facts.-St. Louis Republic. WAItK EXPERTS. Feats ef Diving That Are Performed by Swedish Swimmers. The Swedes delight In "combination diving," aud two men will perforin many clever feats together. One of the most grotesque of these is when one man stands upright on a spring board aud tightly clasps another mnu'.s body round the waist, holding him head downward and puttiug his own head through the man's legs. When the upright man springs from the board he throws his legs into the air so that the two men. clasping each oth er tightly round the waist, turn a som ersault, and wheu they reach the wa ter the man who started upside down arrives feet foremost The handspring dive Is a very effec tive specialty of Swedish swimmers. The performer takes off from the div lng board with hands instead of feet, turning bis body in order to descend feet foremost or somersaulting to ar rive head downward. Very graceful also is the back dive. In which the spring Is made backward, the body turulng toward tbe spring board. Double somersault dives are. made from platforms thirty to fifty feet high, tbe diver making two turns in tbe air and entering the water feet foremost Loudon Saturday Review. London's Police Press. An article In the Illustrated English Magazine gives an account of the print lng department of Scotland Yard and the astonishing amount of work it turns out. Four times a day a broad side Is Issued to all the police officer-. At 9 In the morning the first is sent out, giving an Inventory of nil property lost At noon is issued a list of all persons missing, and this often occu pies several pages. At half past i the broadside contains both subjects. and also at half past 10. A habitual crimlunl register Is distributed and every few days an account of persons released on tickets of leave. A sheet of missing articles Is sent to every pawnbroker, and as many as 4.000 copies of this document are needed. This is only a small part of the work done by tbe Scotland Yard press. When You Csn't Sleep. There Is an odd theory, which mam people believe aud which is certaiulv harmless, that sleeplessness may often be cured in the following odd way Move your bed out into the room so that no part of bed or covers will touch the wall. Then place under each caster of the bed a i&ece of rubher or a rub ber overshoe or set the caster In a thick glass dish. Then go to bed, muk tog sure the covers do not touch the wall. Thus the bed and yourself will be cut off from all electric contact with floor or wall. Such absence of electric contact, It Is claimed, will make yon sleep better. It Is said to have cure. stubborn cases of insomnia. Hew to Open a New Book. The best way to open a new book without risk of injuring it is to place it on Its back upon a smooth or covered table, let down tbe fore and then the hind board, hold the leaves in one hand and open a few of the fore and after ward tbe end leaves until you reach the center of the volume. Do this sev eral times and you will not break the back of the book. His Way of Putting It. SlUicus Do you believe there Is honor among thieves? Cynicus No; they are just as bad as other people. Philadelphia Record. I J fi
