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Pilgath Gubb's Auto-House
By Ellis : Parker
Aidhor of Tigs is Pijs Etc-
ILLUSTRATED By PETER NEWELL
rJwll
f Among the citizens of Betzville Pit
gath Gubbs stands out pre-eminently
for thoughtfulness, and it is largely
because be once had a grandfather.
That grandfather of hia is why Pil
gath i6 so far-seeing. In every action
of Pilgath's life he remembered his
grandfather, and many of. us would
he better off if. we did the same.
The reason Pilgath dug his well
right alongside ofr his barn was be
cause he remembered that once his
grandfather had fallen off the barn
and had broken his arm, and Pilgath
figured that if he should happen to
fail off his barn he might break his
arm, too, but that if he had a good,
deep well alongside his barn and fell
iff the barn into the well instead of
onto the hard ground, the water would
break the fall. It was 30 feet from the
top of the barn to the ground, and
the well Pilgath dug was 40 feet deep,
and so, one day, when Pilgath did fall
off1 the barn into the well, he went
tdown 20 feet into the water, and was
so nearly drowned that it took five
hours and three quarts of whisky to
bring him to. He saw immediately
that if he fell off the barn into the wa
ter a few more times he would be
totally drowned to death, so he fixed
that by pumping all the water out of
the well and plugging up the spring in
the bottom. After that there was no
danger of his being drowned, but the
next time he fell off the barn be fell
clear to the bottom of the well, 70
feet, and broke two arms and a col
lar bone. Pilgath was a .very thought
lol, foresighted man.
When Pilgath got married and start
ed to build a house he remembered
that his grandfather had once built
a house, and then had sold the lot the
house was on and had moved his
house onto another lot, and that mov
ing the house was a lot of work. So
Pilgath. being a thoughtful, foresight
ed man, decided he would have no
trouble of that kind, and that he
would build his house so that if he
ever wanted to move it he could move
it without any trouble at all. The only
way he could think of to do this was
to have the house mounted on wheels,
and have a good, strong automobile
engine built under the front porch,
with a tank of gasoline in the attic
over the girl's room. He saved quite
a sum on the wheels by using eight
old millstones that he had inherited
from his grandmother on his father's
side, and he got a fine old storage
trattery at less than cost from Aunt
Rhinocolura Betts. who had used it
for her rheumatism. There wasn't
any electricity in the battery, but
Pilgath figured be could get it filled
As Soon as the Rain Slackened a Bit
t He Took a Look Around, and He
t Saw the House, About Twelve
Miles Out on the Prairie, Revolv-
ing in Circlet.
when moving time came. The crank,
to crank up the engine, stuck out at
ne side of the porch, and was soon
covered with Virginia creepers, so the
lioase looked like an everyday house.
No one would have thought it was an
antohouse.
The last person in the world to
think it would have been Pilgath's sec
ond wife. Her name was Arbutus Ann,
aad she was a timid little thing, and
crawled under the bed every time it
thundered. She was so afraid of thun
Wer that she crawled under the bed
every time a wagon rumbled across
the Two Mile bridge, and when traf
fict was heavy, at fair time, she staid
.under the bed permanently, and Pil
eath had to bring her meals to her on
a tray.
Last Wednesday at four o'clock a
terrific thunder storm struck Betz
ville. and Arbutus Ann went under the
ed. Pilgath was in the barn, but he
started for the house on a run, for
r he knew how frightened Arbutus Ann
would be, but when he was half way
to the house there was a tremendous
stroke of lightning that almost blind
ed him. At that he sprinted harder
than ever, although the rain was
pouring down so that he could not see
a yard in front of his nose. o He ran
swiftly, but in a few minutes he be
gan to get scared, for he had not
reached the house, and, he let out a
few more laps of .speed. And still he
did not reach the house. Then he
was certainly frightened, -
A very simple thing had happened.
The lightning had hit the chimney
and had knocked off a brick, and the
brick had fallen on the crank handle
and had given it a turn, which cranked
up the engine, and the lightning had
at the same instant buried itself in
the storage battery, filling it with
electricity, so that it began to spark
regularly and explode the gasoline in
the cylinders, and the house had
moved away from where it had been.
The house had an excellent engine,
and it was geared high. It was
geared to run about 50 miles an hour
on the first speed.
As soon as Pilgath realized this he
doubled his speed, for he was afraid
the house might meet with an acci
dent He felt perfectly secure as to
the wheels, for it is harder to punc
ture millstones than rubber tires, but
he had an inkling that a frame house
traveling at 50 miles an hour should
have some one at the steering wheel.
As soon as the rain slackened a bit
he took a look around, and he saw the
-house, about 12 miles out of the prai
rie, revolving in circles, and he start
ed for it with his tongue hanging out,
but just before he reached it the nous
took a new tack and started south
by west at 50 miles an hour, and in
two minutes it was out of sight over
Reynold's hill. Pilgath said he never
.was so proud of anything in his life
as the way that autohouse took that
hill on first speed. When he got to
the top of the hill he could only see
a cloud of dust In the southwest,
about 52 miles away. He said that
cloud of dust assured him that the
storm had been merely local.
Pilgath wants to announce that if
anyone finds a house running around
loose, with a wife under the bed in
the first bedroom at the top of the
stairs, to the left as you go up, that
wife is his. He says any doubt on
the subject may be removed by mak
ing a sound like thunder. Hammer
ing on a tin waiter will do. If, at the
sound, the wife backs so far under the
bed that she can only be reached with
a broom, there need be no doubt that
her name is Arbutus Ann Gubb. The
finder will please feed her until called
for.
(Cop3Tight. 1909. by W. G. Chapman.)
Fine Brazilian Oranges.
Travelers and connoisseurs who
have tasted all the fruits of the world
are of one voice and rapt opinion in
pronouncing the oranges of Bahia,
Brazil, the sovereign lord and king of
all fruits. The dreamed-of apples of
Hesperides no more touch the realiza
tion and surprise these oranges bring
than a crow touches a channel-crossing
flying machine. The Bahian
orange is not only a gastronomic sur
prise, but a startling awakening of
the mind to something new and
strange. Like the first touch of love's
young dream, one cannot all at once
realize that life and the world could
contain anything so deliciously sweet
and perfect New York Press.
Notes from the Basswood Bugle.
Our school teacher is just cuttin' a
wisdom tooth. By jing! nobody is
more entitled to one than she is.
Hod Peters's youngest swallered the
coal-stove shaker the other day, and
Hod says he ought to grow up to be
quite an athlete, as he has so much
iron in his system.
A mail sack which was throwed off
from No. 6 the other night knocked
down Amariah Tilson's barber pole,
three blocks up the street, and upset
Grandma Whipple, who was on her
way home from the sewin circle.
Grandma says free mail delivery is a
good thing, but there is such a thins
as gettfn' too free with it Judge.
Easy.
"George Washington never told a
lie."
"Aw, that was easy; there wasn't
no ball games them days."
Of Course Not.'
The end-seat hog is back again.
Ho gets the choicest seat:
:dw, sausage made of end-scat hoss.
Would not be fit to eat.
The Flounder.
Some authorities say the flounder
is only a codfish with a flattened
head.
SiSZZVi?AZS
TRADE WINDS IN TWO OCEANS
Peculiar Action of Air Currents Most
Noted in the Atlantic
and Pacific.
Constant winds are usually called
trade winds. Whea the surface -beat
d is, roughly speaking, a whole zone,
as' is the case of the tropics, a sur
face wind will set In toward the heat
.M tropical zone from both sides, and.
-ItiBg. will ascend, and then separat-
will flow as upper currents in op
Ite directions. Hence a surface
it will flow from the higher lati-
toward the equator, and an up-
current toward the poles. If. then.
earth were at rest a north wind
prevail in the northern half of
Jfea globe, and a south wind in the
Itat m half. But these directions are
fcniifiril by the rotation of the earth
jm Its axis from west to east In vlr
wt of this rotation objects on the
ituta's surface at the equator are car
jrioi round from the cast at the rate
f 17 miles a minute. But as we re
jeote from the equator, this velocity ts
ksatiaiially diminished; at latitude SO
degrees It is only eight and a halt
miles per minute, or half of the veloc
ity at the equator, and at the poles
it is nothing. A wind, therefore, blow
ing along the earth's surface to the
equator is continually -arriving at
places which have a greater velocity
than itself. Hence the wind will lag
behind, that is, will come up against
places toward which it blows I. e..
will become an east wind. Since,
then, the wind north of the equator
is under the influence of two forces
one drawing it west it will, by the
law of composition or forces, flow in
an intermediate direction, that is.
from northeast to northwest All ob
servations confirm this reasoning
From the great services that these
winds render to navigation they have
been called the trade winds. It is only
in the Pacific and Atlantic oceans that
the trade winds have their full scope
Rapid Telegraphy.
In recent trials of the Pollak-Virag
high-speed telegraph between Berlin
and Konigsberg, a distance of 430
miles. 2.800 distinctly .recorded words
were transmitted In five minutes.
Henry E. Legler of -Milwaukee A
sumes New Position at Salary
of $6,000 Annually.
'Chicago. Freer use of books and
better facilities for getting them are
two of the reforms which book lovers
may expect to follow shortly upon the
advent of Henry E. Legler, who has en
tered upon xhis new duties as public
librarian of Chicago. The former
Wisconsin newspaperman, who Is the
administrative head of Chicago's pub
lic library, lost no time In going' to
work to earn the $6,000 salary the
board voted him. Arriving in 'Chi
cago on an early morning train from
his home in Milwaukee; Librarian Leg
ler hurried, at once to the beautiful
building on Michigan avenue which is
to be his -workshop and began at once
to knuckle down- to his task.
The new librarian consented to out
line his plans -only after expressly
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Henry E. Legler.
providing that nothing he should say
might be construed as criticism of his
predecessor.
"The principal aim of a librarian is
to get the books under his charge into
the hands of the people who want
them with the greatest degree of fa
cility commensurate with proper pre
servation of the books themselves,
declared Librarian Legler.
"As rapidly as the finances will al
low I believe in extending the free-delivery
stations. The number of branch
libraries ought also to be increased.
Free home delivery has been tried in
a few cities, but it is not yet necessary
for Chicago and does not compare
with other and more urgent needs
for what money Chicago has to ex
pend on its public library. With the
help of the school officials it is our
hope that the circulation of books in
the juvenile department may be in
creased to a great extent.
"More liberal privileges, it would
seem to me, may be extended to card
holders. Elsewhere it is not an un
usual custom for patrons of public li
braries to be allowed the right of
taking out two or three, or even more.
hooks at one time on one card, pro
viding they do not attempt to monopo
lize books for which there appears to
be widespread demand. Here, I am
told, the holder of a card may take
out only one book at a time. I think
that system may be changed with duo
regard for the convenience of all con
cerned. "The general trend everywhere also
appears to be toward increasing the
freedom of admission to book stacks.
However, I want to make it clear that
whatever changes I recommend will
be only after careful consideration
and after obtaining the consent of the
trustees."
Recently Mr. Legler refused an of
fer to take charge of the St. Louis
public library and he also refused an
offer to become New York state li
brarian. He was for many years a
newspaper reporter, then became sec
retary of the Milwaukee school board,
and for five years has been in charge
of Wisconsin's state library commis
sion, which handles hundreds of trav
eling libraries.
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AAHf G TON W . -' '
DOGS ON POLICE FORCE
Oak Park, Chicago's Fashionable Sub
urb' Is Guarded by Two Canine
Thief Catchers.
Chicago. Oak Park, the fashionable
western suburb at Chicago, is guarded
by dog police. Daring robberies in
the village are responsible for the
One of the Police Dogs.
addition of the dogs to the force and
it is a noticeable fact that since the
two dogs, "Nick Carter" and "Jesse
James" have been on' the force that
hold-up men and burglars have not
been so busy. The dogs are trained
to follow a trail over any kind of a
road, whether it be an oiled thorough
fare or a common country road
H. G. Strumpfer of Hammond, Ind.
is the owner of "Nick" and Jesse."
He says they will rid Oak Park ol
crooks. Old policemen, however, are
skepticaL
Whittle.
Whistling Is a fixed habit in man.
but it can be overcome. The man on
the tugboat is only an overgrown willow-whistle
boy. The boy is spanked
into a knowledge that there is a sea
son and a time when whistling may
be. indulged without rousing the ire
and edging the nerves of the neighbor
hood. There is a certain legal spank
ing which may fit the seat of the pres
ent noisemakers. Chicago Post
When a man is sick he expects the
rest of the family to drop everything
and listen to his groans.
VSHINGTON. In the novel
of "Ivanhoe," Isaac the
Jew tells the knight that
he knows it is the custom
of the Christians to put on
pilgrims' garb and to walk
barefooted for miles to
worship dead men's bones.
There is something of a
sneer in Isaac's tone and
Ivanhoe rebukes him with
a truly heroic. "Blasnhem-
er.' cease!" I don't, know howjnany
thousands of Americans go yearly to
Mount Vernon to pay a visit to the re
pository of a dead man's bones, but
the number is something enormous.
If George Washington never had
lived at Mount Vernon, never had vis
ited there, never had died there, and
had been buried in the antipodes there
would be excuse enough for the visits
to the place of seventy times seven
the number of the pilgrims who go
yearly down the Potomac to stand on
the towering hill and to look off down
the valley.
It is with an utter shame that it
is confessed that after four years'
residence in Washington one man
American horn and with some lurk
ing pride of patriotism in his make
up never until recently went to the
place where the father of his coun
try and the exponent of the American
school teacher's ideal of truth lies
buried.
Mount Vernon is the ultimate ob
ject of the voyage down the Potomac.
There are other objects every paddle
wheel stroke of the way, for the hills
on either side are hills of rare beauty
crowned with trees that saw the rev
olution and that in the fall are wear
ing the raiment which belongs to the
kings of the forest.
On the boat going down there was
a young German gentleman, who had
married an American wife. He was
much more interested in thn hnnntu
of the Potomac's banks and in the
history of the country beyond the
banks and in the life history of
George Washington than was she.
The German asked his American wife
If George Washington was born at
Mount Vernon." She answered that
he was; which he wasn't, not by
many miles. He asked her many
other questions, to each and every
one of which, but with unening inaccuracy, she
made answers. This was a traveled American
girl. There is a fairly well-grounded belief that
she met and captivated her German husband
while she was doing Europe in an automobile or
was rhapsodizing on the Rhine.
Some day, perhaps vedy likely, in fact she
will go back to her husband's land and will
listen to his telling of his American trip, and in
the enthusiasm of the nature which he made
manifest on the Potomac he will tell the "his
toric truths" concerning George Washington
which he learned from his American wife.
It may be that some of the Germans who
know something of the life of the American gen
eral who was the friend and fellow soldier of
Steuben will come to think, as some Americans
have come to think before this, that a little
American history might be included in the course
of study of the average American girl, and that
not a dollar should he spent on her passage
money to Europe until she knows without stop
ping to think whether it was George Washington
or Abraham Lincoln who crossed the Delaware,
and who, something later, forced the surrender
of Cornwallis at Yorktown. This may seem to
be a matter that is beside the mark, but, while
the listener had none too thorough a knowledge
of American history, there were some things
said on the boaUplying down the Potomac that
if they had been "said by an eighth-grade school
boy ought to have brought him a flogging.
Mount Vernon has been written about by
pretty nearly everybody who has seen the place.
It hasn't fallen to, the lot of everybody to see it
in' the fall. It is a nc ' 'e place, a fitting resting
ground for the first American.
It seldom falls to man's lot to see such he
roic trees. There is a giant oak which stands
sentinel over the first burial place of Washing-
which he thought worthy , enough
to uy.
The light wasn't good on the
afternoon in mind and all that one
pilgrim could make out of a book's
title, above which was written
Washington's name, was the
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ton. The body was removed from the base of
the oak about 75 years ago. It never should have
been removed.
It is said that Washington selected the place
where bis body now lies and left instructions
that one day the change of sepulcher should be
made. The oak which guarded the first grave
must have been standing for three centuries.
The view from the place is inspiring enough to
enkindle the eyes of a dead man. The view from
the new tomb is fine in its way, but it is as noth
ing to the grand sweep of river, hilltops and for
ests which moves before the eye from the place
where Washington slept for 20 years.
Hundreds of visitors go to Mount Vernon
daily. They peer into the tomb and then
straightway go to the house. There is an inter
est, of course, which must attach to any of the
belongings of Washington, but it seems to be a
legitimate matter of regret that of the thousands
who go to Mount Vernon the interest in the mir
ror which Washington used when he shaved and
in the spoon with which he ate his porridge, if
he ate porridge, is far greater than in the forest
trees under which he walked and in the garden
whose hedges of formal cut were planted with
his own hand.
Indoors at Mount Vernon everything is dead;
outdoors everything Is alive. The forest and
garden are instinct with Washington; the con
tents of the house are as dust.
There Is a real interest, however, in the
library of the old home. In the main the books
are simply copies of those which were on the
shelves in Washington's time. The originals, as
I understand it are in several libraries of the
country. There are two originals, however,
which are open at the title page, so that if the
light be good, one may read Washington's name
written in his own hand and the title of the book
word "Sentimental." The
wonder was, and the poor
light was responsible for its remain
ing a wonder, if the father of his
country had not In his quiet hours
been reading "A Sentimental Jour
ney." If the gentle Martha had
peeped into the pages and had re
proved George because of what she
saw there one can imagine his ready
answer that the book was written by
a holy priest of her own chosen
church.
The man with the megaphone on
the Washington "rubberneck" wag
ons tells his audience of passengers
as they roll by the Metropolitan club
house: "This is the club of the nobs."
In another minute, as the big sight
seeing bus passes another clubhouse
the megaphone man says: "And this
is the club of tho cranks."
"The club of the cranks," as this in
formation howler calls it, is the Cos
mos club, and a most interesting or
ganization it is. Its membership is com
posed of scientists, some physicians
and clergymen, a few lawyers and
two or three newspaper men. The scientists are
in the great majority.
It costs a pretty penny to join the Metropolitan
club and to pay the dues and to live the life of
the organization. The initiation fee at the Cosmos
club is rather small, and the dues are light, but
there are scores of members of the Metropolitan
club, "the club of the nobs." who willingly would
pay twice or thrice the Metropolitan's initiation
fee and the Metropolitan's dues if the expenditure
could gain them admission to the club where the
"cranks" foregather.
Every Monday night is called "social night" at
the Cosmos club. Of course the clubhouse is open
at all times, but on Monday evening the members
make a special effort to be present and there is
always a large gathering in the great, sweeping
rooms of the house where once lived Dolly Madi
son. They don't intrude "shop" upon you in the
Cosmos club. The members are a genial body of
men and they have many guests from all parts of
the world. They find out what the guest likes to
talk about and then some one who knows the sub
ject is promptly introduced to him. There are few
world subjects upon which you cannot get an
expert opinion in the Cosmos club.
The members, of course, have their hobbies
and they ride them. In one corner of a room there
will he an astronomical group, and there will be
another corner with a fish group and another cor
ner with a bird group and another corner with, it
may be, a mushroom group. It isn't all science,
however, in the Cosmos club. The members play
billiards and pool and bridge, and they have a fine
time of it generally and at no great expense, for
it is one of" the hard facts of earth that men de
voted to science have little money. Learning
doesn't bring high pay in the market.
INVENTER OF GRAHAM BREAD
-
Sylvester Graham the First to Popu
larize Article of Diet That
Bears Hit Name.
The housewives of America make
many loaves of graham bread during
the year, but few of them know the
history of this article of food, nor
have they ever taken the trouble to
learn why and how it came to be first
prepared.
Sylvester Graham, a native of Suf
fleld. Conn., was the man who in
vented the bread, andit has borne his
name ever since.
Graham was the pioneer "crank" on
the food question, and he popularized
his theories throughout the country.
While lecturing under the auspices
of the Pennsylvania Temperance so
ciety in that state, about 1830, he con
ceived the idea that Intemperance
could be prevented and totally cured
if the man who wanted alcoholic
drink would confine himself to a
purely vegetable diet
He argued in public and private
that by following up his course of
treatment and using only vegetables
in the diets, drunkards could shake
off the clutch of alcohol and become
proof against the habitual craving
for strong drink.
Graham was himself in delicate
health at the time he discovered his
vegetable theory, so he started In to
try his theories on himself. After
practicing his preaching for some
time he announced in public on vari
ous occasions he had met with re
markable results in his own case, and
detailed the improvement in his con
dition occasioned by his following a
vegetable diet.
He followed up bis studies along
the line of dietetics, with the result
that he finally advocated -a strictly
vegetable diet as a cure for all the
diseases which human flesh is heir to.
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