JH
sj
hi
11
?!
Y,
THOUGHT LITTLE OF DICKENS.
George Meredith Did Not Believe
Novelist's Work Would Live
Condemns Other Writers.
"You' may have histories, but you
cannot have novels on periods so long
ago. A novel can only reflect the
moods of men and women around us,
and, after all, in depicting the present
we are dealing with the past, because
the one is enfolded in the other. 1
cannot stomach the modern histor
ical novel any more than I can novels
which are three-fourths dialect
Thackeray's note was too monoton
ous; the 'Great Hoggarty Diamond,'
next to 'Vanity Fair,' is most likely
to live; it is full of excellent fooling
I met him and Dickins only a very
few times. Not much of Dickins wiii
live, because it has so little corrc
spondence to life. He was the incar
nation of cockneydom, a caricaturist
who aped the moralist; he should
have kept to short stories. If his
novels are read at all in the future
people will wonder what we saw in
them, save some possible elemeut ol
fun meaningless to them. The world
will never let Mr. Pickwick, who tc
me is full of the lumber of imbecility
share honors with Don Quixote. I
never cared for William Black's nov
els; there is nothing in them but iish
ing and sunsets. George Eliot had the
heart of Sappho, but the face, with
the long proboscis, the protruding
teeth as of the Apocalyptic horse, be
trayed animality. What of Lewes?
Oh, he was the son of a clown; he
had the legs of his father in his
brain." Fortnightly Review.
THIEVES TO CATCH THIEVES.
Many Former Bandits Now Enrolled
in Mexico's Famous Corps of
Mounted Police.
The rurales or mounted police have
pretty nearly put a stop to brigandage
Several years ago the government
recognized the wisdom of the old
adage. "Set a thief to catch a thief,"
and offered pardon and protection to
all brigands who would enlist as
rurales.
Most of them took advantage of the
offer, writes Dillon Wallace in Outing,
and with these men on the side of
law and order holdups soon became
infrequent, and the rurales developed
into a wonderfully efficient mounted
force to hunt down bandits. They are
fearless riders, they know every moun
tain pass and fastness, and when the;
once start after a man he is pretty
sure to be caught or killed generally
killed.
The rurales of Mexico compare fa
vorably in bravery and reckless dar
ing with that wonderful organization
the Northwest Mounted Police of Can
ada and are by far the best armed
force in Mexico. Their calling gives
them opportunity for wild adventure,
and thus satisfies the craving for a
life of danger, which led many oi
them to be brigands in the first in
stance. They are a free and easy
lot, quite in contrast to the peaceably
inclined policemen of the towns and
the slow moving, indolent soldiery of
the regular army.
New Bone for Finger.
Surgeons in all parts of the country
are taking great interest in the re
markable surgical operation which has
just been successfully performed in
Trenton, N. J., by Dr. E. B. White, for
merly head of the staff of the McKin
ley hospital. Several weeks ago ten-year-old
Walter Barry was playing in
his father's barn with a hay cutter,
and his hand slipped through the feed
chute. , One of the fingers on his left
hand was completely severed between
the first and second points.
Dr. White was called and tried tc
have the bones united by stitching the
severed parts together, but failed. As
a last resort, before entirely amputat
ing the finger, the surgeon removeu
the bone between the first and second
Joints and allowed the secretions ol
the body to fill the space, practically
growing a bone in place of the one re
moved.
Chinese Secret Societies in Java.
An ordinance just passed in Java
falls heavily upon Chinese societies
in Netherlands, India. A fine of 100
guilders or three months rigorous ira
prisonment is the penalty for every
Chinaman found in possession of se
cret society . documents or emblems
or caught wearing the distinguishing
marks of these organizations.
Those who preside over the meetings
of such societies, allow meetings tc
be held in their houses or fail to in
form the authorities of such gather
ings being held incur similar penal
ties. The latter also fall upon China
men who recruit for these societies,
suppljtbem with money or give them
help'ji isy way.
Cured Hen of Desire to Set.
A Marion (O.) woman has discov
ered an original practice for breaking
hens of the practice of hatching, re
gardless of duckings, which is an old
fashioned method of prevention. The
woman had such a hen, which she put
to set' on a nest of two china eggs
'and an ordinary alarm clock with the
alarm set When the alarm went off.
tne nen came off the nest with a clut
ter and shrieking that disturbed the
entire neighborhood. The hen has
not been near the nest since.
On Her Eye.
Wagg Horrible street car accident
wasn't it?
Snag What was it?
Wagg A woman had her eye on s
fceat and a man sat down on it.
Exchange
An Essential.
"It's all right fur the pot to call the
kittle black providin' they both ge)
colored: over the same fire." Bostor
Herald!
i
Living in the Future.
Living in. the future would be all
right If yon didn't have to pay rent ii
the present
Sure Sign.
Whs you wake up at daylight and
cant get to sleep again, it's a sign it':
a holiday. v
- e
NORTH THEATRE
Wednesday
8
THE BIG NEW YORK
COMPANY
..in
HAROLD McGRATH'S
Delightful Comedy
The Man
on
the Box
One Car Load of Scenery
2H Nights in New York
let Nights in Boston
19 Months in Chicago
ELEGANT CAST
Prices, 5c, 75c, SI., $1.5
Seats on Sale at Pollock's Drug Store
STATESMEN SAW GREAT LIGHT
Few Remarks Made by Senator-Elect
Convinced Them They Had No
Protest Coming.
"A mild-mannered and genial Ten
neseean. named Galloway, was electee
to the state senate from Shelby coun
ty." said Secretary Dickinson of the
war department, himself from Tennes
see, "but there was a protest over it
because, it was claimed, Galloway had
been concerned in a dnl fa Ms young
er days. The time came for swear
ing in the senators and the clerk
called the roll by counties. When
Shelby county was reached Galloway,
wearing a long frock coat, stepped
into the aisle.
"'Mistuh president and senatuhs,'
he said, 'I have heard of this yere
protest against my sitting in this body
as a senatuh because I once engaged
in an affair of honah. Now, suh, I
want to say that I did engage in an
affair of honah in my younger days
in the state of Mississippi, and latuh
in another affair of honah in the state
of Arkansaw. Once again I engaged
in an affaih of honah as second, not
as a principal, in the state of Missis
sippi.
"'I contend, suh, that the state of
Tennessee has no jurisdiction ovuh
what is done in other states, and I am
here to say, suh, that if any senatub
thinks otherwise and does not vote
for me at this time I shall call him
out, by gad, suh! call him out and
hold him personally responsible to me
suh. That's all.'
"And they all voted for him." Sat
turday Evening Post.
PRESENTED WITH A BIRTHDAY
Henceforth John Pruitt Will Celebrate
Natal Day with Others on the
Glorious Fourth.
It isn't everybody who can give a
birthday present like William E. Bern
er gave to John Pruitt, colored, a
couple of days ago.
Berner is the marriage license clerk
at the county clerk's office, and as
such he encounters all kinds of queei
situations. The other "day Pruitt came
in to get a license to wed Eliza Clin
kenbeard. Before a license can be
procured nowadays one must answer
in writing all kinds of foolish ques
tions, among them being the date ot
birth.
Pruitt scratched his head when
asked his natal day. "Fact Is, Ah
don't know," he said.
"Don't know how old you are?" Ber
ner asked.
"Not for sure. Somewheres near
10, I guess."
"Haven't you "a birthday?"
"Never had a birthday."
"Well, I'll make you a present of a
birthday right now," said Berner
"Everybody should have a birthday
Von are 40 years old and you were
born on the Fourth of July." And
Berner wrote it down on the marriage
license papers that way.
"Now, remember." said Berner
when Pruitt started to leave. "You
were born on the Fourth of July and
you mustn't forget to celebrate youi
birthday when it comes around."
"I won't," said Pruitt, highly
pleased. Indianapolis News.
Fletcherism and Waiters.
"Fletcherism may be good for the
digestion of the diner, but it is bad foi
:he pocketbook of the waiter," said a
restaurant proprietor. "People who
shew according to Fletcher sit at the
table so long that they keep other cus
tomers away, and so cut down the
number of tips. You don't see many
of these scientific eaters at linen
time even the Fletcherites don't have
time to keep tab on the movement oi
their jaws then; but at night there
are many people abroad who eat by
rule. You can pick them out in
any restaurant. They count as they
masticate.
"I have two regular customers who
chew exactly 100 times on one bite ol
bread alone. At that rate you can
figure how long it will take to get
through a meal. Also, you can un
derstand that the waiters don't think
much of Fletcher and his disciples."
Absent Minded.
"Wilkins is the most absent minded
cuss I ever met."
"How so?"
"Why, the last time he got into the
barber's chair he pinned the' newspa
per around his neck and began to read
the towel."
GOOD IDEA PROVED FAILURE
Berlin's "One-Kitchen" Apartments
Did Not Receive the Support
Looked For.
The so-called one-kitchen .houses,
blocks of flats with one common kitch
en on the American plan, which it
was hoped would prove a success in
Berlin, have got into trouble after a
brief existence, a New York Sun cor
respondent says.
A syndicate which with borrowed
money had erected large blocks ol
such flats in various parts of the town
found itself in difficulties, and one
morning the tenants were unable to
procure their breakfast, no provision?
having been delivered and the kitchen
staff having been dismissed. As the
tenants failed to get satisfaction from
the estate manager they appointed a
kitchen staff of their own, but the re
ceiver of the syndicate, re-enforced
by a squad of police, turned the new
staff out and barricaded the kitchens.
Most of the tenants took their troub
les philosophically and Inserted in a
local paper the following notice sur
rounded by a mourning border:
"To-day after prolonged agony, as
sisted by the official receiver, the
death has taken place of inanition oi
our well-beloved only kitchen, cut off
in the tender age of two months 'and
eight days. The bereaved tenants
sorrowfully beg for public sympathy."
COULD NOT MAKE A CONVERT
Suburbanite Was Wasting His Time
Talking to Unregenerate
City Man.
The suburbanite was dilating upon
the beauties of country life, relates
the New York Times.
"You should see my garden!" he ex
claimed, rapturously.
"The roof gardens are good enough
for me." replied the dweller within
the city's gates.
"But the moonlights," continued the
suburbanite. "You should see the
moonlight shimmering on the land
scape."
"I prefer the electric lights shim
mering on Broadway," said the unre
generate city man.
Still the suburbanite was not to be
gainsaid.
"Ah, but the air. It is like wine,"
he babbled.
"Well, I don't see that you have
anything on me," replied the city
man. "There's a brewery right around
the corner from where I live, and you
can smell the hops at any time of the
day or night."
Realizing the futility of further rea
soning, the suburbanite ran for his
train.
The Polite Professor.
Lieut. Shackleton, the Antarctic ex
plorer, in a manly speech which he
made in reply to the toast of his
health by Mr. Heinemann at the din
ner given by that gentleman at the
Savoy hotel, London, told an interest
ing story of politeness in the untrod
den regions of the Antarctic. His
party, he said, were always extremely
good-humored and polite, and one pro
fessor in particular attained a degree
of politeness unusual under such try
ing circumstances. "'Are you busy,
Mawson?' he called out one night tc
another member of the party who was
in the tent. T am,' said Mawson. 'Very
busy?' said the professor. 'Yes. Very
busy.' 'If you are not too busy, Maw
son, I am down a crevasse.' The pro
fessor was found hanging down a cre
vasse by his four fingers, a position
which he could not have occupied fox
any length of time."
Could Coin Word, But Not Job.
"Dear Sir," said an applicant for a
position to the secretary of the treas
ury, acording to the Saturday Even
ing Post, "1 am very anxious to obtain
remunerative employment in the treas
ury department. While my education
il advantages do not qualify me for
any of the higher places, I could fill
one of the minor places to advantage,
and I respectfully apply for the posi
tion of chief cuspidorian of the de
partment" The letter came to Assistant Secre
tary Reynolds for reply, and he wrot6
as follows:
"Dear Sir I regret very much that
nothing can be done for you. There is
no such place as chief cuspidorian
You have coined the word, but I can
not coin the job."
The Shorter Word.
The day before Christmas Edith,
aged ten, had a number of packages
tied up for distribution. The doc
tor felt -of one intended for "Uncle
John" and the rest is as the New
York Sun prints it
"That's some tobacco," said the doc
tor, as he fingered the package.
"How can you tell?" asked Edith.
"Because I am a good diagnosti
cian," he replied.
"Then as Edith seemed somewhat
dazed at the big word, the doctor in
quired: "Do you know what a diagnostician
Is?"
"Yes," she answered, promptly, "it's
a good guesser."
The Brute.
Wife That vicious dog next door
bit mother again this morning, and
I'd like to know what you're going to
do about it?
Husband I'll ask him how much
he wants for the dog!
The Truth. ?
"Did you ever take your machine
apart to see how it worked?"
"No, but I've taken it apart to see
bow it did"''"
At a Disadvantage.
"It's all right to talk to some men
about climbing the ladder of success,"
said a Newarker who is trying to raise
a family of seven on $14 a week, "but
when a man is flat on the ground and
the ladder is standing on top of him, it
ain't a fair line of preaching."
Another Vindication.
The public has some rights, at least
An Illinois judge says a woman who
has lust eaten e-nrlic mav be 1prtprt
from a theater. However, it is im
plied that she may not be killed.
Rochester Herald. "
HOT WATER
HEATING
-
Ftr tfct Farn (torn
All the comforts of
town life can now be
had on the farm.
Heat the house with
hot water, and get the
maximum amount of
comfort at a minimum
cost The day of the
base burner in the
country home is rapid
ly passing.
WHY NOT HAVE THE BEST
The time to install a heating
plant is from now on.
Once installed, they last a life
time.
Come in and let us tell you
about it, or drop us a card stating
what yon waqt.
I. DOSSELL I SON
Plumbing and Hot Water
Heating
COLUMBUS, NEB.
BOUGHT PROFESSOR A FLAG.
Students Came to Rescue of Loved
Instructor Who Stood Out for
Principle.
The late Prof. Arthur Latham Perry
of Williams college, the widely-known
free trader, was accustomed to edifj
his political economy classes in the
seventies with the statement that he
would never buy a flag for the tall
flagstaff on bis new house until the
tariff was taken off bunting.
The class of 1879. in its junior year,
determined that the much-loved pro
fessor's house should not be without
this patriotic adornment indefinitely,
as it bade fair to be so far as the
tariff and the professor wer con
cerned. Accordingly, a very large
flag was bought by class subscription,
and one day, at the close of the lee
ture hour, it was unveiled in the pro
fessor's lecture room and presented to
the professor by one of the class in
a very humorous speech, to which the
professor appropriately responded, de
clarging in his opening sentence:
"You could not have done a kinder
thing if you had thought ten years.'
This flag floated over the professor's
house on all patriotic days during the
remainder of his life.
When the survivors of the class of
1879 entered the banquet hall recentlj
for their 30th reunion dinner, they
were surprised and pleased to find
that the family of Prof. Perry had
caused the wall back of the head ot
the table to be draped with that old
flag a delicate and touching reminder
of a pleasant college episode of 31
years ago.
UPSET FORCE OF ARGUMENT.
Undeniable Truth of Blacksliding
Youth's Assertion Somewhat Stag
gered Teacher.
When the kid went to Sunday school
at a time of year when there were no
presents being given away and told
the teacher he wanted to join the class
she felt highly elated.' This particu
lar teacher had often noticed the kid
while on her way to the school, and
had so often urged him to abandon
his evil habits of playing marbles on
Sunday, swearing, chewing tobacco,
smoking, and like pleasures, and re
form by joining the Sunday school.
The kid's reform, however, seemed
too acquiescent to be lasting, but foi
some time the teacher saw nothing
out of the way in his conduct. Appar
ently all the habits of which she had
complained had been cast aside, and
he has become an exemplary youth.
That the casting aside of evil doings
was not actual, though, was shown
when she paid an unexpected week
day visit to him. 'She found him
smoking a cigarette.
"Oh, I am so sorry," she said. "How
do you ever expect to go to heaven if
you insist on smoking?"
"What's that got to do with it?" he
questioned.
"Why. nothing unclean and your
breath is unclean can enter the gates
of heaven."
"Oh." he replied; "I ain't goin' to
let that trouble me. You see. when 1
die I'm going to leave my breath be
hind!" New York Times.
What Man Has Dene, Man Can Do.
If a thing is possible and proper to
man, deem it possible to thee. Mar
cus Aurelius.
Many Physicians in New York.
One physician out of every twenty
one in the United States lives in New
York city.
Rainfall in Siberia.
Siberia has 60 days of rain
year on the average.
each
Faith.
Faith makes us, and not we it; and
faith makes its own forms. Emerson
Notice.
All account due the Nebraska Biene
are payable to E A. Harms.
Palace
Meat Market
' CARL FALK, Proprietor
Solicits a share of your
patronage
I
,. ,
inirteentn afreet
MANY WORKED ON WIRELESS
As Far Back as 1S53 Jjord Kelvin Was
Experimenting 'with the
Principle.
Wireless telegraphy has many dis
coverers. As has been so often the
case in any branch of physics, wheth
er pure or applied, the name of Lord
Kelvin is associated with the discov
ery. In 1853 he gave forth the theory
of oscillation. In 1865 Maxwell pro
pounded the theory of electrical
waves, and in 1888 Hertz practically
discovered them. Sir Oliver Lodge
was looking for the waves at the
same time, and was successful in
finding them running along wires in
the same year that Hertz discovered
them going through space. In 1890
he was able to take a further step,
developing the receiving arrange
ments for the detection of these
waves by means of the principle
which he decided to call syntony.
At the same time another word,
coherer, was added to the language.
In 1894 he was able to give a demon
stration before the British association
of signaling across space without
wires, and about the same time he
published a book.
In 1895 Admiral Popoff of the Rus
sian navy and Capt Jackson of the
English navy carried the idea a little
further, and then in 1896 Marconi took
up the matter with great pertinacity
and marked success.
SINGERS BELIEVE IN CHARMS.
According to Caruso, Most Great Art
ists Have More or Less Feel
ings of Superstition.
"We of the opera," writes Caruso in
the Gentlewoman, "are often inclined
to be superstitious. One woman, a
distinguished and most intelligent art
ist, crosses herself repeatedly before
taking her cue, and a prima donna
who is a favorite on two continents
and who is always escorted to the
theater by her mother invariably goes
through the very solemn ceremony of
kissing her mother good-by and re
ceiving her blessing before going on
to sing. The young woman feels that
she could not possibly sing a note it
the mother's eye were not on hei
every movement from the wings.
"Another famous singer wears a
small bracelet that was given to het
when an inrant by Gounod. She has
grown somewhat stout of late years
and the hoop of gold has been rein
forced so often that there is hardly
any of the great composer's original
gift left. Still, she feels that it is a
charm which has made her success,
and whether she sings the part of a
lowly peasant or of a princess the
bracelet is always visible.
"These little customs are not .con
fined to the women singers either, for
the men are equally fond of observing
some little tradition to cheer them in
their performance."
Deadhead's Nerve.
Oscar Asche, who. with his wife.
Miss Lily Brayton, is on his way tc
Australia, his native land, which he
left 18 years ago, remarked just be
fore he set sail, apropos the slump in
theaters, that the deadhead is a de
stroyer of drama.
"While I was touring with a cer
tain highly respected manager we
were playing at a long famous old
playhouse in an ancient town. We had
billed 'Macbeth' for the Friday night,
but during that day the theater was
burned down. For our next week
there our chief contrived to borrow a
playhouse a little way out of the dis
trict. On reaching there to rehearse
on Monday the manager received a
letter saying that the writer had been
given two dress circle orders for the
performance of 'Macbeth,' but as that
play was not performed owing to the
destruction of the theater, the writei
surmised that the manager would re
mit the money value of those orders."
A Fruitful Potato Plant.
Not satisfied with yielding an enor
mous output in the regular way, an
Irish potato vine growing in the
garden of C. C. Nail at Luthersville
Ga., some time ago began to put out
potatoes all along its branches, and
when sent to the Constitution office
the other day, had potatoes as large
as eggs growing practically all ovet
the vine.
In a letter accompanying the freak
Mr. Nail states that the vine grew in
his garden, where the land is a mix
ture of sand and red clay. On tak
ing up the plant, he found that the
industrious vine had not neglected its
regular duty while pulling off its un
usual stunt, as proven by the fact
that an unusually large number of po
tatoes were found in their accustomed
place in the ground. Atlanta Consti
tution. His First Thought.
While skating, he had ventured on
thin Ice and gone through into the
pond. Just as he was about to go
down for the third time his compan
ions dragged him forth. Now he
stood by the bank, dripping wet and
thoroughly dazed. He gazed about
him vacantly.
"I I must go back for my glasses,"
be said.
Foiled.
A man met a doctor he knew one
morning, and being one type of graft
er, he thought to work him for a free
prescription. After some small talk
he asked quite incidentally:
"Doctor, what would you give for a
sore throat?"
"Nothing," repllled the doctor,
promptly, for he knew his man; "1
don't want a sore throat."
Tims Rightly Used.
Time is infinitely long, and
day is a vessel into which a
each
great
deal may be poured If one will ac
tually fill it up. Goethe.
Influence.
Influence is to be measured not by
the extent of surface it covers, but
by its kind. William Ellery Channing
Untamed Increment.
A word to the wise is not only suffi
cient; it is altogether too much.
Life.
Popular Priced Store
Cloaks, Suits,
Furs and Millinery
We extend you a cordial invitation to be
present at the opening of our new store
September 2, 3, 4
Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Mr. La Book will be pleased to take meas
urements for those wishing special orders;
SEEMS PROVISION OF NATURE
Remarkable Resemblance Between
Couples Noted by New York
Sociologist.
"Of course there is no end of oppor
tunity in New York to study types,"
said a sociologist of that city, "and I
have seen one peculiar combination
here that I have never observed else
where, though I have no doubt it can
be found in other places. That is,
couples who look alike. No. I do
not mean wives who look like their
husbands. That is not unusual, es- .
pecially among elderly people, who,
havine simlliar rnnilltinnu thrniierhnnf I
their lives, have grown to resemble
each other. I mean that a husband
and wife will look like another hus
band and wife.
"For instance, I have a cousin who
is a tall, slim, dark man, with a strong
ly marked face long and thin and
his wife is a pronounced, handsome
blonde, of the rather plump variety,
with an aquiline nose. Twice in New
York I have seen on the cars other
couples who looked so like my rela
tives that I have been on the verge
of speaking to them. It seems to indi
cate to me a basis for Schopenhauer's
theory that selection is always seeking
to establish or revert to the type.
"Another peculiar thing about types
is that people who resemble each
other are subject to the same diseases.
I can tell a croupy looking man or
woman as far as I can see one. On
looking at a certain man or woman
I can tell what disease he or she is
most afraid of, and is, consequently,
most subject to, and it will be the
same for every other individual of that
type.
"Proves what? Oh, well, every one
can work out his own kind of a proof
nowadays."
SCOTLAND'S LOW DEATH RATE
Statistics Show the Land of the This
tle to Be One of the Healthiest
on the Earth.
Scotland, according to the latest
statistical returns, has a population
of 4.826,000, which is less than the
population of London. There is a
small annual increase, some 50,000.
which would be larger were it not
for emigration, the hardy young Scots
going forth to seek their fortunes in
other lands. So it happens that there
is an excess of rather more than 10,
000 females over males.
In 190S there were 131.337 births
in all Scotland and 77,839 deaths.
which made the death rate per 1,000
only 16.13; and there were 31,583 mar
riages. The death rate for the last year was
lower than that of the preceding ten
years, a noteworthy fact, and when
we consider that the present death
rate of Scotland is about a third of
that of the federal district here we get
some notion of how remarkably heal
thy Scotland is. even allowing for its
few congested centers of population
and the great consumption of whisky.
Edinburgh, the capital, which was
once called the "fever hole of Europe,"
Is now one of the healthiest cities on
the globe, owing to the great work
of rehousing the poor that was accom
plished there a generation ago by public-spirited
citizens.
The Scots are. as a rule, a strong
and enduring people, of notably high
intelligence; their climate cannot be
called a good one, in the sense of
being agreeable, but it makes strong
men and women. The most benign
climates, blessed with blue skies and
almost constant sunshine, do not
make such sturdy people as the lands
of mist and raw winds.
Not Disinterested.
A Massachusetts professor says
tough beef is as nourishing as the
choicer cuts. Sounds like the utter
ance of a man who owns a dental par
lor or a pepsin factory. New York
Evening Telegram.
Crop Was a Failure.
"I suppose you know of my family
tree?" said Baron Fucash. "Yep," an
swered Mr. Cumrox. "It may have
been a good tree, all right, but it
looks to me as if the crop was a fail
ure." Beyond Mortal Power.
"You can put fetters on a criminal,
and you can quell a beast to submis
sion, but you can't bend the subtle
mischievous woman-spirit bent on do
ing harm." The Inner Shrine.
oq
IN PRAISE OF GEORGIA GRUB.
Macon Man Waxes Eloquent Over the
Excellence of the Eating Com
mon in His Territory.
"Come down in the goober fields of
Georgia if you want to know what
good eating is," said Mr. James Jack1
son of Macon. Ga., to a reporter of the
Washington Post. "Did you ever eat
a possum stuffed witli goobers and
sweet potatoes, with corn pone and
gravy on the side, topped off with ice
cold buttermilk right from the spring
house? If you haven't, you have
missed something." declared Mr. Jack
son. "You can talk about your can
vasback duck, your terrapin, and your
turtle soup, if you think that is the
finest of fare here, but wait until you
eat what I have described. Or try a
fat turkey, cooked with chestnuts, like
only one of 'before de war black
'mammies' can prepare it. The goober
country in Georgia is the most pros
perous and contented anywhere in the
south," continued Mr. Jackson. "The
people down there are extraordinarily
hospitable, and no stranger traveling
through the country can possibly ger
away from the farmers, who will in
sist that the traveler stop and stay
over night to enjoy some of that cele
brated eating. When you come that
way, if you ever do, I will show you
what sure enough, 'grub' is."
FATHER WAS "WISE" TO GAME
Possibly Dad Had Recalled a Few In
cidents of His Own Col
lege Days.
A student at the University of Penn
sylvania had been going a fast pace
with the boys of his class and fra
ternity and had had frequent inter
views with father concerning debts
and other financial troubles occa
sioned by the drain his pleasures had
made on his source of supply.
Several times the "governor" had
been compelled to get various articles
of value back from the boy's "uncle."
and the relation of provider and spend
er was strained.
One day the student wired father
that his watch had fallen into deep
water in the Schuylkill river and lit
wanted "at once" $25 to hire a diver
to recover it. The answer came as
follows:
"Nothing on the $25. Cheaper
soak the watch where it is."
to
His Important Service.
One of the greatest nuisances of
traveling is tipping. A smile from a
head waiter is a costly commodity,
and no menial service is too small for
remuneration. An unusually ingenious
plea for a tip is that of a small Hi
beinian. mentioned by Mr. John An
gustus O'Shea in "Roundabout Kecol
lections." The author was traveling
in Ireland.
I drove down to the station on the
faint chance of catching the train to
Dublin. When I got out of the cab at
the station a bright-faced boy accosted
me.
"Ah, sure, sir, you've just missed
the train," he said.
It was true. I booked my luggage
and ascertained when the next trait
would leave. While I was waiting tht
lad came up to me and asked me for
a tip.
"What for?" I asked.
"Sure, sir. I told you that you were
too late," he unblushingly responded
Port Arthur Barracks a School.
It is a curious aftermath of the great
war between Russia and Japan and of
the vast program of ambitious aggres
sion which culminated In the war that
the Japanese government has dpcided
ivf luuven me nussian Darracks at
Port Arthur into a high industrial
school (koka gakudo). The fact is an
nounced by the Official Gazette, and
the numbers and ranks of the officials
forming the faculty of the school are
detailed. The institution is to be un
der the jurisdiction of the governor
general of Kwantung. The destination
of these specious barracks had long
been a subject of discussion and con
jecture, and the Japanese government
is to be congratulated on the use tc
which it has finally determined to put
them. Japan Mail.
Society Item.
"The vacation season is now on."
"Yes; I am about to notify the so
ciety editors that I have closed mj
stately hall bedroom for a giddy sea
son of two weeks which will bt
spent in a nalatial tent" -,,.
(City Journal.
S