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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 11, 1909)
ofCon Keating in the firm of Keat-
ing & Schram, the new firm will be
known as W. F. Schram & Co.
Thanking you for the generous
patronage accorded the old firm, and
asking for its continuation with the
new one, we will assure you that we -
shall endeavor to merit all favors
shown by our patrons.
W. P, SCHRAM & CO.
TRAPPING THE ELUSIVE FLEA
ureauof Entomology Claims to Hava
Diacovarad Method of Circum
venting the Pest.
The bureau of entomology of the de
partment of agriculture in Washing
ton has hit on a plan to circumvent
the irritating little flea. According to
Van Norden's Magazine, the govern
ment has diccovered a method by
which any housekeeper may rid her
self of fleas within a short time.
Fill a glass three-fourths with wa
ter, on top of which pour about an inch
of oilve oil, then place a night float (a
little wick inserted in a cardboard
disc or in a cork disc) in the center of
the oil. Place the tumbler in the cen
ter of a soup plate filled with strong
soapsuds. The wick should be lighted
t night on retiring, or may be used
In any dark room. As the soup plate
soapsuds trap is placed on the floor
of the room it does not interfere with
the sleeper, and the fleas which are on
the floor are attracted to the light
For outbuildings, such as barns, etc.,
a large milk pan may be used, and in
stead of olive oil and a glass, a stable
lantern may be placed In the center of
the pan, while instead of soapsuds a
scum of kerosene may be put on the
water in the milk pan.
"Fleas, Jike tramps, dislike soap
suds. That's the secret.
Gold from Sunken Ships.
In the most boisterous part of
Mount's bay, and almost unapproach
able except by sea, lies Dollar covve,
where for the past three months a
treasure seeking expedition, sent down
by a London syndicate, has been quiet
ly working, says the London Chron
icle. The company of seekers some
three or four weeks ago suspended
operations in order to get more pow
erful pumps and gear. These are in
working order, and although the sal
vors have little to say about the mat
ter, they appear to be hopeful of suc
cess. In the year 17S8 a Spanish ship
went ashore there with about 20 tons
of specie aboard.
Everybody who lives on the coast
is familiar with the appearance of the
dollars, as large numbers have been
washed up on the beach from time to
time. Gold pieces are said to have
been discovered recently by people
walking on the beach.
An All Black Dining Room.
Lord and Lady Drogheda have re
turned to Wilton Crescent at the con
clusion of their honeymoon, which they
took, as is the sensible modern fash
ion, in installments, a visit to Lon
don being sandwiched between so
journs Jh Ireland and in Italy. Lady
Drogheda is at present interested in
the finishing touches required by her
new house, which is to be unlike any
A wonderful all black dining room
is oae of its features, and although
the effect in daylight may be rather
somber" It is distinctly artistic and
original in the soft glowing, carefully
arranged electric lights. M. A. P.
' Cost of Feathered Pets.
X consular reports calls attention to
the fact that the exports of canaries
front Germany to the United States
were valued at 1130,000 in 1908, as
against $136,000 in 1907. It is esti
mated that there are now in this coun
try fully 5,000,000 birds in cages, and,
as Ike ordinary house canary will eat
In a, year 25 pounds of seeds, costing
$1.5, there is expended on the pet
featherlings $7,500,000 annually for
foo4jJggrWhat other expenses for
itam medical attention
JEjtiie keeping of captive
irot."be estimated read
"Do you think bee stings cure rheu
i?" "No," answered Grandfa
ther Stubbs, "but they're mighty "like
ly to make you forget you've got it"
160 acres of the Best
Land in Platte county,
- within one mile of the
- city limit of Columbus.
This farm is well im
proved. Terms rea---
Abo several other good
farms and residence
'properties in the city.
Gm. H. Winslow
purchased the half inter-
GREAT FRENCHMAN IS RIGHT
Ambassador Jusserand Criticises
Americans for Their Neglect of
His Excellency, M. Jusserand, the
French ambassador, is astounded at
the greatness of the United States.
If the people of France had such
rivers as are in the west they would
dam them all and allow no water to
go to waste. Irrigation is the mighty
cure for western America.
And the suave ambassador of
France is right We do dam our
rivers, and we ought to dam them
more. The policy of interior canals
is the very genius of economic de
velopment in the future.
In some sections we dam our rivers
more than others. There are times
when the rampant "Missisipp" re
ceives its full share of this attention.
and cnly, a short time ago the Ar
kansas river, eating its way through
a narrow neck of land, made a new
channel and left the prosperous river
town of Douglas three miles inland,
and Douglas has been ever since
"damning" the river to the full limit
of the brawn and the breath of its
So that it is a very wise and popu
lar observation offered by his excel
lency of France. New York Ameri
can. LIKE THEIR EGGS FLAVORED.
Chinese Have Little Use for Product
of the Humble Hen When It
Dr. Malegnon, who has dwelt long in
China, gives some curious details of
the food of the Chinese. - This is what
he says of the "Sons of Heaven" and
the way they eat eggs-:
"The Chinese are great eaters of
eggs, which they take hard boiled.
One finds them in all the roadside
places for refreshment The Celes
tials have an expression: 'Eggs of a
hundred years." The eggs are not al
ways a century old, but you are able
to get them of many years standing.
"The Celestials have a preference
for the egg of the duck or goose. They
are placed with aromatic herbs in
slaked lime for a period more or less
long, the minimum time of treatment
being five or six weeks. Under the
influence of time the yolk liquefies
and takes on a dark green color. The
white coagulates and becomes green.
"The product of the eggs which has
a strong odor, from which a stranger
betakes himself quickly, the Chinese
eat as hors d'oeuvre, and it is said to
have the taste of lobster."
Flipped Coin to Choose Husband.
Mary Karpowicz of" Worcester,
Mass., was greatly perplexed. She
was courted by twins, liked them
equally well and, perhaps, would have
been willing to marry them both as a
way out of her dilemma but for the
law. Finally she flipped up a coin
"Heads Michael wins, tails' I marry
Alexander." Down came the quarter
with the lady uppermost Alexander
Kalnouska said glumly:
"You win, Michael."
"Will you be best man, Alexander?"
"I will not," said Alexander, "I'll
takenhe next steamer back to Russia.
You can have Mary. Good-by, Michael.
Good-by, Mary." And Alexander de
parted to pack his trunk.
The Kalnouska twins, 21 years old,
followed Mary Karpowicz 7,500 miles
from Russia. They roomed and worked
together and pooled their savings,
both courting Mary assiduously. Al
exander called one evening, Michael
. Gold Found on French Island.
Kerguelen, or the Island of Desola
tion, may be the scene of 'the next
gold rush. Situated midway between
the Cape of Good Hope and Australia,
it is one of the dreariest and most for
bidding; spots os the surface of the
globe. But the captain of a brig, he
Carmen, who spent four months there
hunting sea elephants, has made a
discovery which may lead to impor
tant developments. He picked .up a
pretty little nugget of gold among the
pebbles while walking -on the shore.
The Carmen has arrived at Melbourne
with 150 tons of oil, the, product of a
couple of. thousand sea elephants shot
by the captain and his men. They also
report the discovery -of -valuable de
posits of coal, which th'ey declare to
be excellent fuel. Kerguelen belongs
to France by right of discovery.
Human life is everywhere a state
in which much is to be endured, and
little to be enjoyed. Johnson.
Woe unto him that is never alone,
and cannot bear to be alone. Hamer
Powerful Teeth of 'Squirrel.
The teeth of a" squirrel will pene
trate deeper than those of a dog.
OLD ADAM IN BOYS
PUGILISTIC ENCOUNTERS OF THE
"E-e-e-e-yoL Fellers! A Fight!" Is.
. the Slogan That VVill Draw the
Crowd. Even from the De
lights of Baseball.
There probably isn't a school in the
country in which there doesn't arise
each day some cause for a fight If it
isn't in oneclass it is in another, "and
it is the strictly.'proper .thing to pull
the fight off in the noon hour. Af tei
three ? o'clock baseball is in order, and
as. that has fights of its own a mere
school fight would interfere. So you
know it's come when you see. a crowd
of boys swarming and hear shrill
"He said" "Yer dassent "" "I
didn't neither say " "Well, go ahead
and" "You're a liar!" ' "You're'an
other!" "So are you!" "Back it up!'
"Yes, I will!" "Will'yer?" "Yes, 1
will!" "Come on!" "E-e-ee-yo! FeL
lers! a fight!"
It always starts that way, and some
times it is severe enough for all con
cerned to get up an extra appetite. Ol
course,, accidents will happen, and oc
casionally one boy runs into anothei
boy's fist with such force that he gets
a blinker. The giver of the blinker is
a hero for some hours, but his repu
tation usually forces him into anothei
fight and he is apt to lose the reputa
But the other day a really good fight
happened, though it wasn't one that
was on the calendar. George Helm
rich held Willie Burke responsible foi
the disappearance' of' his baseball
mitt though be found it later at
home and from accusations the thing
developed through recriminations, de
fiances and challenges to actual war
'fare. The combatants had been fight
ing in deadly earnest amid the throng
of howling boys for ten minutes, and
one of them had almost struck a
blow when the crowd was violently
Ollie Swift, aged 13t had been one
of the loudest yellers and advisers
but he certainly was not expected tc
be so violently smote on his class but
ton that it was nearly driven through
his chest Neither was he expected
to have a handful of fingers twine ic
his hair and nearly pull it out. But
that happened while the shrill voice
of George's ten-year-old sister ac
cused Ollie of having caused tht
fight and encouraged it. He tried tc
explain, to back away, to cover up
and do all other compromising and
safety-seeking things. It was in vain
She was after him like a terrier aftei
a frankfurter, and safety for. him lay
in flight, so he broke and ran.
The derisive cheers that followeo
him told plainly that he had forever
sacrificed the esteem of that crowd
Still he didn't dare return and fact
her, though she had no cause to at
tack him in the first place.
When she had driven him from the
field she broke out weeping, and hall
of the crowd would have been willing
to swear that not only did Ollie start
the fight, but that he had also at
tacked George's sister.
The result was that in the after
noon he received a dozen challenges
and after school received two lickingi
and gave two. For the next three
days his hands were full, and it wai
only by desperate aggressiveness that
he managed to keep from becoming
the mark and butt of the whole school
The fighting hardened him and trainee
him, and when the other boys found
that lie would fight on any provoca
tion, and on almost none, thej
stopped "picking" on him. In a
couple of days more the matter was
forgotten, and Ollie has even beer
seen walking home with Georgie's sis
ter and canying her books.
The Roman Senate.
The Roman senate, said to have
originally been composed of 100 mem
bers, was raised to 300 by Tarquinius
Priscus; to about 600 by Sylla, about
81 B. C. and to 900 by Julius Caesar.
It was reformed and reduced to 600
by Augustus, and gradually- lost its
power and dignity under the emperors.
The mere form existed in the reign of
Justinian. A second senate, formed
at Constantinople by Constantine, re
tained its office till the ninth century
S. P. Q. R. on the Roman standard
stood for "Senatus Populus que Ro
manus" "the Roman Senate and Peo
pie"). A senatus consultum was a law
enacted by the senate.
Caruso's Sideboard Voice.
When the orchestra got tired at the
German garden a man stepped up on
the platform, opened the door of an
escritoire and turned Ahe crank,
whereupon there issued a marvelous
voice which filled the place. "Caru
so," explained one. "Splendid!"
"No wonder he injured his voice,"
remarked . another. "Must have
strained it to sing into a phonograph
with a horn effect, but to sing Into
escritoires and bookcases and any old
thing like that! First thing you know
they'll be opening up a sideboard and
Caruso's voice will come bellowing
out of that"
Making Slow Progress.
For nearly 30 years of its existence
the Social Democratic Federation of
England can make 'but scanty show
ing. At the last general election it
polled a meager total of 29,810 votes
and secured the return of only one
representative in parliament. A by
election has since given the party an
other member in the house of com
mons. Wise Law in the Netherlands.
All employes in the Netherlands
who are boarding with their employ
ers are entitled to medical treatment
for at least six weeks.
No man praises happiness as he
would justice, but calls it blessed, as
being something more divine and ex
cellentAristotle. Wisdom from Uncle Eben.
"Talk," said Uncle Eben. "Is sunipin'
like rain.- A certain amount is wel
come an' necessary. But doggone a
Ftr Hit Farai Htm
All the comforts of
town life can' now be
had on the farm.
-Heat the house with
hot water, and get the
maximum amount of
x comfort at a minimum
cost The day of the
- base burner in' the
country home is rapid
WHY NOT HAVE THE BEST
The time to install a heating
plant is from now on.
Onoe installed, they last a life
time. Come in and let us tell yon
about it, or drop us a card stating
what yon want.
I. BUSSELL & SON
Plumbing and Hot Water
-.3HES QUICKLY DISPOSED OF
Ocean Liners Expel Them Through
Ship's Bottom by Means of Com
The newest liners now dispose of
their ashes by forcing them through
the bottom of the hull by means of
compressed air. The old method of
hoisting them and dumping them
overboard was disagreeable to the
passengers, and an attempted im
provement by which they were mixed
with water and pumped overboard
was equally so when the wind was
in the wrong quarter.
In the new "expeller" a hopper re
ceives the ashes and clinkers and de
livers them into a crusher, which
breaks up the large pieces. Below
this is a drum revolving in a water
tight casing and open as It turns first
to the crusher chamber and then to
the discharge pipe below. In order
to counteract the upward pressure of
the water compressed air at about
70 pounds to the square inch is di
livered to the interior of the ash
filled drum just before its opening
comes opposite that in the discharge
Thus the ashes are expelled with
such force that they are swept clear
of the bottom of the vessel. This
expeller will get rid of the ashes and
clinkers from forty-eight furnaces
under forced draught, amounting to
eight or ten tons an hour.
WHERE WOMEN LOSE CHARM.
Too. Many Do Not Realize the Neces
sity for Maintaining a Pleasant
A more than profitable way of en
tertaining one's self while riding
down town of a morning is to scan
the faces of the women passengers on
the other side of the car. At least
one-half of them have that tired, wor
ried look. Watch them intently for
a minute or so and it will get on your
nerves. Then glance at the other wom
en, whose expressions are pleasant
Isn't it a relief?
Just because those pleasant-looking
women are pleasant looking is no as
surance that they ought to look pleas
ant For all you know, the woman at
the end of the car with the most se
rene expression is worrying about a
thing a thousand times more vital than
that which troubles the sour-faced
woman just across from you. One
woman has acquired the art of looking
pleasant and the other has not
If woman only knew it, one of her
chief charms is a placid, pleasing ex
pression when her face is in repose.
The average woman finds it easy to
look pleasant when her shoes pinch
or an unreasonable pin is making its
presence felt; but she gives up in
despair if the cause of her unpleas
ant expression be mental worry.
Philadelphia Evening Post.
Had No Use for Flowers.
A big box of peonies, roses and lilies
of the valley had. come to a New York
East sjde school through one of the
flower missions that do what they can
toward equalizing things between peo
ple who live where flowers grow and
the unlucky ones who don't. One of
the teachers was doing her best to dis
tribute the blossoms' fairly among the
grimy, eager little hands that reached
out ravenously for them. But there
was one mite of a child who seemed
quite indifferent to the gift; she just
sat stolidly looking on while the oth
ers gloated over the blossoms.
"Don't you want some roses, An
nie?" the teacher asked her. "Here's
a nice bunch."
A pair of unresponsive eyes looked
up from the sharp little face, and the
frowsy head shook slowly.
"No'm." she said, shortly. "I don't
want no flowers. I ain't dead."
She had never seen flowers used ex
cept at funerals, and that, she sup
posed, was what tiiey were- for.
All accounts due the Nebraska Biene
are payableto E A. Harms.
, CARL FALK, Proprietor
Solicits a share of your
SUITED THE GIANT
BIG FELLOW FINALLY GOT HAND
. KERCHIEFS HE LIKED.
Inventive Genius of Laundress
Brought to Bear on Problem That
Had Puzzled the Directors
of the Circus.
"You know," said the old circus man,
"the great giant, big as he was, was a
very dainty man; he liked fine, well
made clothes and nice shoes and good
linen, aad one thing that he was par
ticular about was his handkerchiefs.
"Hm m. It makes' me laugh to
think of the giant's handkerchiefs.
That's one think we didn't think oi
when he first came to us and we
bought him' a lot of handkerchiefs of
the usual men's size.
"'What's this?' says the giant the
first time he ever tried to carry one
"Ton see. It was so small in propor
tloa that it dropped down into the not
torn of his pocket and' he had to reach
In deep and fish around for it, and it
wasn't much use to' him either, and of
coarse we saw right away that those
handkerchiefs wouldn't.do, and so we
had some made for him about three
times the usual .size, and those he said
would do, though he always wished
we'd had 'em made a little bigger, and
then 'one winter when the show was
laid up in winter quarters a queer
"The laundress we had for washing
at the headquarters house was a nice
old lady, but a little testy, and what
with the work for the giant and all it
used to keep her pretty busy, and one
day when he went to his bureau the
giant found he had no handkerchiefs,
and as he was no piker and kicker he
didn't go growling to old lady Mary
that was the launldress but he did
go to the old man and say to him
pleasantly that he seemed to be out
"'All right.' says the old man, Til
see Mary about it,' and he did. and
Mary didn't say anything back to the
old man, but she says to herself, 'I'll
fix the giant all right. I'll give him
some handkerchiefs right now.'
"We'd just got in a bunch of sup
plies of one sort and another for
house use and In this bunch there was
a lot of new sheets, and what Mary
does was to go to the storeroom and
get half a dozen of these sheets and
then she gets the stepladder she al
ways had to use a stepladder to get
up to his bureau drawer and in the
corner of this drawer, where the giant
kept his handkerchiefs, she laid In
those nicely folded new sheets.
The next morning when the giant
went for a handkerchief that's what
he found in the handkerchief corner of
his top bureau drawer, and when he
had got one of them and shaken it out
he smiled. And then he tucked it in
his outside breast pocket, leaving a
yard of it, more or less, sticking out
and then he goes In to see the old
man and yanks it out and shows the
new handkerchief to him, and
"'There,' he says to the old man
"there's a handkerchief that's some
thing like. I don't exactly like the
shape of it,' he says; you see, it's
made longer than it Is wide,' and he
held It up for the old man to see, 'but
it's big enough,' he says, 'anyhow
Now why can't I have a lot of hand
kerchiefs like that, only made
"'Why, you can!' says the old man
'Certainly. Of course. Why not?' and
he ordered a lot of 'em right awa
made square, and that's the sort of
handkerchiefs the giant carried al
ways after that; at last he had got
a handkerchief that was big enough
BIRDS DO THEIR WCTliC WILL
Homing Pigeons Employed to Carry
Packages and Letters Between
Pretty pigeons of Australia carry
packages and messages between Ho
bart and Maatsuyker Island light
house, a distance of about seventy
five miles. Last November they called
a physician for a lighthouse attendant
and probably saved his lfe. Three
birds are liberated with messages
every three weeks, and when accident
or illness occurs three additional birds
are set free. Twelve birds in all are,
used for the service. While mes
sages have not always reached their
destination, the service has neverthe
less been highly satisfactory. The
messages are written on a piece of
paper tied under the bird's wing; but
the marine board has in view some
celluloid cases which may be adjusted
under the bird's wing and in which a
good deal of informatiou might be
The birds are fed on gray peas of
good quality, get plenty of grit and
fresh water and are kept thoroughly
clean. They are also allowed at their
station plenty of opportunity for need
ful exercise. That Maatsuyker Island
lighthouse, which has a most isolated
position, could secure a physican
from Hobart sixteen hours after he
had been sent for by pigecn post has
suggested important possibilities for
more general use of homing pigeons
for such service. Trophies are to
be provided for homing competitions,
so as to encourage owners to breed
the best descriptions of carriers. There
are about 20,000 of these birds in Aus
tralia. One Way to Get Rain.
Last summer the, Sicilians suffered
from drought. The peasants implored
heaven for rain, but without effect
Saint Sebastian was besought, but
he seemed indifferent to the temporal
wants of the people. Some one on the
present occasion has hit upon a novel
idea, and when the statue of the saint
was carried in procession they stuck
in his mouth a bit of fish, the hardest
and dryest that they could And. It
now remains to be seen whether this
procedure will have the desired ef
fect A Fashion Note.
"'Ecclesiastical' gown's the thing,"
says a writer on the modes. For
ladies, of course, who make a religion
of following the fashion. New York
of Ladies' and Gents' Merchandise
at less than cost of Raw Material
the place and the date of Sale
AUG. LI FOR 10 DAYS ONLY
Look for the Red Sign
419 ELEVENTH ST.
TRACT THAT HAS NO OWNER.
Strip of Land in the South May Pos
sibly Be Part of the Realm of
There is a strip of land of consider
able area lying between New Church
and Pomomoke City. Md.. that for
more than a century truly has been
called "No Man's Land." It is not
within the recollection of the oldest
resident of Accomac county, Va., or
of Worcester county, Md., that any
one ever has laid claim to it, nor are
there any records of it in the courts
of either county. Even the question
as to which of the two states the land
belongs to never has been considered
Not a few of the older residents
hold to the opinion that the land
does not even belong to the Unite!
States, some of them going so far
as to say that if it belongs to any
country at all it is England's, as the
mother country owned everything
down that way before the Declaration
of Independence changed " ownership
and they think it more than likely
that in dividing up Virginia and Mary
land overlooked "No Man's Land."
leaving it out in the cold and making
of it a miniature territory without
There are between 300 and 400
acres of virgin soil in the tract that
could be made to produce bumper
crops, but no one cultivates it, and
so far as is known to-day there is
no one who has any desire to do so.
For some unaccountable reason it
does not appeal strongly to the farm
ers and truckers of this section and
they always take good care to steer
clear of the apparently hoodooed land.
JUST WENT ALONG AND LIVED
Aged Englishman Can Give No Par
ticular Reason for Attaining the
Age of 103 Years.
James Carne of St. Columb Minor,
England, is receivng congratulations
on the attainment of his 103d birth
day, which came tills month, and is
giving advice to those who ask for it
on how to live to be a hundred. As
Mr. Carne is still in possession of all
his faculties and attending to his
business as parish clerk of St. Columb
Minor, he speaks with authority, but
his rules are rather upsetting to mod
ern health theories. He eats just or
dinary food, he says, and if he chews
it In any but the ordinary way he
doesn't mention it. He says nothing
about the virtues of sour milk, but
confesses to a "drop of whisky grog"
for supper. But he "can't bear smok
ing," and doesn't believe in it. He
doesn't care for fruit, and even ' de
clined to eat oranges when the doctor
ordered them, but he has always
taken plenty of fresh air and exer
cise. Mr. Carne received endless con
gratulations on his 103d birthday,
many being from people he didn't
know. The prince of Wales sent him
a signed portrait, and Mr. Carne sent
his own photograph to the prince.
The Swordfish Season.
From this time onward the sword-
fish will live a precarious life, for this
noon the first of the swordfish fleet
got away, the schooner Valentinna,
which fitted out at T wharf. Another
schooner is slated to start to-night,
and in a few days a good sized fleet
will be patrolling the waters all the
way from Edgartown, Block island, on
the south, to Cape Shore on the north.
The territory embraced is somewhat
more extensive than usual on account
of the backwardness of the season.
This means that the fish are not get
ting into the more southernly waters
as early as customary. The swordfish
are harpooned, and many exciting con-
tests have been waged between men
in dories and the fish with the sharp
point. Boston TranscripL
AID FOR ACCIDENT VICTIMS
German Physician Tells of Best
Method of Producing Artificial
Dr.Sehafer.in the Berliner Kiinische
Wochenschrift, gives the following di
rections for artificial respiration in
cases of apparent drowning.
"The movements of artificial res
piration should be begun at once as
soon as the patient has been removed
from the water, and no time should
be lost in removing or loosening the
clothing. As soon as taken from the
water lay the patient on his stomach
with outstretched arms, the face
turned to one side, the operator kneel
ing astride, or to one side of the
"Place the hands on the small of
the back of the patient, one on each
side, with the thumbs parallel. Beud
forward with outstretched arms, so
that the weight of the operator will
rest on his wrist joints, and so make
even, strong downward pressure upon
the lower ribs and loins of the patient,
and remain so while counting slowly
1 2 3. The operator then swings
back, taking away the pressure on his
hands, which are kept in the same
position, and remains so while count
ing slowly 1 2 3.
"This forward and backward move
ment, producing and relieving the pres
sure on tlie loins, is to be maintained
without noticeable intermisson at the
rate of about twelve times a minute.
The presure drives the air from the
lungs, the removal of the pressure
draws the air in again. The move
ments are to be continued until nat
ural respiration begins."
Lawyer's Sharp and Biting Retort.
Two well-known lawyers were try
ing a case before "Square" William
Hrown. Every little while one or the
other of the attorneys would say
One of them sneeringly criticised
the language in a statement made by
the opposing counsel.
"See here." came back the lawyer
who was attacked, "I'll have you un
derstand, my dear sir, that I know
wiiat lm talking about. I'm an At!,
an AM and an LLB. I guess you
haven't got much on me, when you
come right down to it."
"Yes." snapped the other lawyer, "1
know you're an AH. AM and all that.
And you're an A-S-S."
Which, of course, stopped furthei
argument. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
What a Girl Learns.
Katherine Eggleston complains in a
magazine article that children are
taught about men's work and no: about
women's. Even in the kindergarten
they learn about Lincoln and Wash
ington and even the pictures show the
Hon and forget the lioness. She
learns history in the high school with
all the brave ideals of men, and cour
ageous women are completely ignored.
Then she learns carpentering, although
she may not be able to cook an egg,
and she knows all about higher math
ematics, but is cheated by the bi'tcher.
She learns political economy, but does
not know who are members of the
local school board.
The Usual Delusion.
"You haven't been backbefore for
30 years. Bill? Gosh, that's a long
time! What changes do you see that
surprises you the most?"
"Well, to tell you the truth. Dave,
what I notice more than anything else
is that everybody has grown old so
much faster than I have."
"For goodness sake, Harriet, why
so sad?" "The cook's left, but that is
not the worst of it! she took with her
the recipe book for all the things
John's mother used to make."
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