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Governor Shallenberger continues
to remain the idol of the prohibitionists.
About one-third of the space in the
Lincoln papers usually devoted to
news has been taken up with the
wrangle over the coming city election,
in which a majority of the readers of
the paper are not particularly inter
ested. The affliction will soon disap
pear, however, as election day is
drawing near.
Say what they please of Omaha,
they must acknowledge that it is the
only metropolitan city in the state,
and that it is far ahead of Lincoln as
Lincoln is ahead of Plattsmouth.
Omaha is able to look after her own
interests, and she is doing it, too, not
withstanding the constant kickingof
the Lincoln papers. If the Lincoln
papers would pay more attention to
their own affairs and let Omaha alone,
they would perhaps please their read
ers better. Plattsmouth Journal.
Senator Cummins does not give a
rap for the traditions of the senate; he
does not believe in taking a back seat
and wearing a muzzle on his jaw even
if he is a new member of the upper
house. Cummins has some ideas and
not backward about letting his coun
trymen know where he stands. His
amendment to the Payne tariff meas
ure providing for an income tax has
the endorsement of nine-tenths of the
voters of the country. The adoption
of the amendment would make it pos
sible to lower some of the proposed
tariff tax on the necessities of life in
the Payne bill. Senator Cummins
estimates that the adoption of his
amendment would produce about
$40,000,000 in revenue.
You would not accept a lead dollar,
imply because it was new and bright,
its dull tone as it dropped on the coun
ter would prove it counterfeit, and
worthless, except as a material for
bullets, sinkers and lead pipe. But
you probably accept a good many
other counterfeit articles, and even
welcome them. The theory which at
tacks the existing order, and attracts
because of its newness and novelty;
the new friends for which, perhaps,
you discard the old; the job which
promises large returns for little effort;
all these may be counterfeit and
worthless, yet how readily they are ac
cepted every day. Surely it is as im
portant that they be investigated as
that a paltry dollar ring true. With
out becoming a skeptic, it is well not
to confine your efforts toward detect
ing counterfeits to the mere matter of
money. Drake Watson.
The governor of Texas chides the
legislature of his state, an almost un
animously democratic body, with be
traying the party, in thai they have
been in session since the 1st of January
and have accomplished no more than
.might easily have been done within
ten days. But why should the gover
nor of Texas complain of the universal
fate of states, or the democratic party
there feel more betrayed than any
other party which stands sponsor for a
legislature? Almost any state, regard
leas of political faith, could truthfully
eater a similar complaint The Kan
sas legislature, for instance, was noted
for doing little in a given length of
.time. That is one reason many re
gard it as a good legislature. In Illi
nois, a republican legislature has been
laboring since early in January with
out electing a senator, or accomplish
ing much else worth while. Colorado's
governor has a kick because, in three
months, his legislature has done prac
tically acne of the things it was pled
ged to do. It seems to'be the common
fate of legislatures to have as little
idea of the value of time as of public
nwaey, both of which they spend lav
iaaly and to uncertain ends. As big
m Texas is, it really shouldn't bawl
aboat bad lack which is universal.
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Globe.
A writer in the Albion News at
tempts to convince readers of that
paper that the democratic legislature
should not be given credit for passing
the daylight bill, although he is fair
enough to give Governor Shallenber
ger credit for approving the measure,
a fact which he could not consistently
deny. Evidently the writer of the
News article is a republican who
erroneously believes that his party is
the only one that has shown any incli
nation to adopt the principal of pater
nalism. The fact of the matter is that
the democratic party has been drifting
toward the prohibition idea for the
past ten years. They are in the same
position the republican party was
twenty-five years ago when the agita
tors forced the prohibition issue upon
Iowa and Kansas, and later on the two
Dakotas. The only difference between
the position the republican party occu
pied then and the democratic party
occupies today is the extent of the
territory involved in the prohibition
movement The southern states are
now practically in the prohibition
column, and the border states appear
inclined to join them in a movement
for national prohibition. The attempt
of the writer in the Albion News to
take from the democratic party its
prohibition record and give the repub
lican party credit for something it has.
not accomplished is not borne out by
the history of the two parties. The
republican party should be given
credit for the prohibition laws once in
force in Iowa and the two Dakotas,
and that party should also be given
credit for the non-enforcement of the
prohibition laws in the states above
named and for the final repeal of the
law and the enactment of high license
laws.
Jealousy of Governor Shallenberger
is "cropping out" among the close
political friends of Mr Bryan. The
Peerless leader is no longer the idol of
his party in Nebraska. He made too
many enemies during the session of the
last legislature to insure united sup
port from his party for U. S. senator
next year. He evidently realizes this
fact, and his efforts now appear to be
to head off Governor Shallenberger
should that gentleman make up his
mind to enter the race to succeed Sen
ator Burkett. Articles, evidently in
spired by Bryan, have been sent out
from Lincoln bringing out the name of
Mr. Metcalf, editor of Bryan's Com
moner, as the senatorial candidate of
the democrats. It is contended that
Metcalf would unite the two factions
of the party. This is the first time
that the Bryanites have acknowledged
that there is a factional fight on in the
party. The claim has been constantly
and persistently made that the party
was united in its support of the Peer
less leader. The announcement of
Metcalfs candidacy is an acknowl
edgement of the danger that would
confront the party with Bryan as the
candidate for senator. But will the
party be any stronger in the campaign
with a candidate selected by Bryan
than it would with Bryan himself?
The Brvanites claim that Metcalf
would receive the,support of the tem
perance people regardless of party.
They call attention to the speech made
at Fremont by the Commoner editor
on the liquor question, which was in
harmony with the stand taken by the
democratic party on that question in
eleven democratic states. The fight
between the two factions will become
more bitter as the campaign progresses.
One of the reasons urged for the
selection of Mr. Metcalf to stand
against Burkett for senator is that he
is a silent man, and that history will
bear out the statement that silent men
have been the real thinkers of the
world. This is amusing coming as it
does from the friends of the Great
Commoner, but is nevertheless true.
The silent man has made history.
Napoleon was a silent man, but accom
plished great things. Washington was
a silent man, but became the father of
his country. Lincoln was a silent
man, but succeeded in saving his
country and stamping out secession.
Jefferson was a silent man, but left a
name on the score sheets of time by
writing the Declaration of Independ
ence. Benjamin Franklin was a silent
man, but his skill as a diplomat has
never been equalled by any of his
countrymen. Contrast the success of
the silent man with the efforts of the
agitators of paramount issues and the
championship of experimental isms,
and the reader will readily observe
that there is some truth in the asser
tion that in comparison with the agi
tator the silent man has made good.
The Oldest Bridge.
The Sulpiclan bridge, at Rome, Is
the oldest In history. It Is made of
wood, and was erected In the seventh
century. It has been twice rebuilt,
but Is In rains at the present day.
-
In Character.
Wife " there any difference be
tween a fort and a fortress?" Hus
band "Not much, except, of course,
that a fortress must be harder to al
lence." Llpplncott'a.
SUtteM
OLD DAYS ON THE
Captain W. R. Massie, veteran pilot,
whose knowledge of the turbulent and
turbid Missouri and its history-is prob
ably not equaled by that of any other
living man, is hibernating at a St
Louis residence hotel and waiting for
gentle spring to clear the ice from the
channel of this favorite stream, that
he may turn a wheel above its tawny
waters once more.
"To make a pilot a man ought to be
born right, to begin with," said the
captain, in answer to -a question.
"Now, I was born on the Missouri
river, in the edge of Franklin county.
My father came to Missouri Territory
before 1800. He had been a lieuteu-
1
ant under Daniel Boone, and had
fought alongside of Boone, Simon
.Kenton and Gerety.. My uncle was
the first white man to plant any ground
in Missouri. He was killed by the
Indians just across the river from our
place, on Massie's creek, in Warren
county. Dangerous days, those were.
After a rain, when the ground was
soft, the settlers'd go out, lookin' for
moccasin tracks. If there was an In
dian about, they'd muster and go after
'em; maybe they would kill some, and
maybe the Indians would get some of
them. My folks settled right on the
river bank; they saw iewis and Clark
goby.
"The first steamboat went up the
river in 1819. As there came to be
more boats, my father established a
woodyard and had wood boats, that he
could run alongside the steamboats;
when I was a small boy I got used to
handling them, so later piloting came
natural to me. Why, I can remember
boats that used to run there when I
wasn't a bit higher than this table.
"I got into the pilot-house in course
o' time, and I've been on all the rivers
of the West the Mississippi, the Mis
souri, the Tennessee, the Red, the
Atchafalaya, the Ouachita. I landed
the first passenger from a steamboat
where Omaha now stands. When the
Mormons left Nauvoo I took 'em to
Council Bluffs on their way to Salt'
Lake. I knew 'em all Brigham
Young, Orson Pratt, Heber Kimball.
And their wives; I've danced with 'em
many a time on the grass. A pilot
was somebody in those days; it wasn't I
1:1 : : I
line it is uun.
"I've seen the river before they
'improved' it and afterward, and I say:
Give me the river the way nature
made it before them cadets from Bos
ton that don't want to look at anybody
else come here and begun foolin' with
it! I'll tell you what the trouble with
the Mississippi river is it's the Mis
souri. That's the one that kicks up
thunder. Go up the Mississippi above
the mouth of the Missouri what do
you find? Hard bottom; river stays
in one place; no sand to speak of.
The first steamboats went to Fort
Benton in 1858. There was two of
them, the Morton and the Chippewa,
and the captains and pilots were John
La Barge and Bob Wright on the
Morton and Bill Humphreys and
Henry Dix on the Chippewa.- They
went up the river together and landed
at the same time. The Chippewa
afterward burned in the Benton ser
vice, 180 miles above the mouth of the
Yellowstone. She had 400 kegs of
powder on board and a lot of
passengers; one of 'em was Clem Sea
man, with a very fine gun, and there
were one or two from New York, two
from Calcutta, India, and two or three
ladies, out for a sight of wild life.
When the fire reached that powder it
scattered the boat all over the place.
Clem Seaman's gun went up into the
air and came down muzzle end down,
away out on the prairie. An Indian
found it there and took it to Fort
Benton, and Mr. Seaman got it again
two years after he'd lost it. There's
mighty few snags, when you get above
Yankton. The ice freezes fast around
'em up there, and then the river raises
before the ice melts, and that pulls
'em out and carries 'em off down
stream; you won't find one in fifty
miles. I went to Fort Benton first in
'61, three years after the first boat I
took the Utah up there in '69 in thirty-two
days; the usual time was sixty
to one hundred days. Those boats
were very light; I've taken 100 tons
on two feet draft and 200 on three and
a half. Wood was scarce and hard to
get; we'd stop an hour or two by sun
to wood up for the next day. Drift
wood was the main dependence; we'd
get ash, and sometimes pine and cedar,
carried down from the edge of the
mountains. You ought to have seen
the way they'd load those boats with
fuel! You see, furs are light and take
up lots of room. We'd put 'em in a
press, so as to save space in stowing
them; and then we'd fill the hold and
main deck; we'd fill the boiler deck
and the cabin, leaving just room
enough between the piles to get into
the staterooms; we'd even fill the space
under the pilot-house roof. They were
mostly buffalo robes, but there were
lots of wolf skins, and bear black,
o
MISSOURI RIVER.
grizzly and cinnamon; there was
mountain lion, too. But the most val
uable of all was Siberian fox; a bun
dle of twelve or fourteen inches
through would be worth six or seven
hundred dollars.
"The lower Missouri was alive with
boats from '50 to '65. There were
between two and three hundred; as
many as fourteen would leave St
Louis in a single day. Pilots were
scarce; they didn't average more than
a single one to a boat In traveling
on the river between here and Kansas
City you were never out of sight of a
boat; and they, were loaded with
freight.and passengers like a bush with
blackberries. Indians! Well, I guess
so. I knew all the great western
chiefs-rSitting Bull, Rain-in-the-Face,
Red Cloud. I knew 'em before Bill
Cody.did; I was in that country when
he came up there and sot to be a'
scout I was ambushed by Sitting
Bull in 75. I was captain of the
steamboat Western, and had ColoneJ
Moore of Fort Buford with me; we had
annuities and gratuities goods for the
Indians. It was just below Fort Peck;
we come to shore under a high bank
with three or four canyons coulees
they call 'em there cutting through
it The first thing we knew, those
canyons were full of Indians shootin'.
There were eight people in the pilot
house when the first volley struck us
Colonel Moore, two preachers, who
were goin' up to work among the In
dians! four others and myself Colonel
Moore was just behind me; one bullet
went through his lower jaw and knock
ed out some of his teeth and one cut
the collar of my coat clean through,
right at the back of my neck. In
about a second the others were all
laying down, and Colonel Moore
reached for me: 'Lie down!' he says.
'We can't afford to lose you.' I forgot
to say that my pilot had deserted at
Yankton, and I was the only man on
board who knew the river. 'No,' says
I to Colonel Moore, 'I'm going to get
the boat out of here or the Indians '11
kill us all and burn her. We backed
away and turned toward the other
bank; that brought the stern of the
boat between the Indians and the pilot
house. I went downstairs; the boat
was as empty as a church on week
days; everybody -had gone down into
the hold. We had guns aboard; I'd
got them at the fort, in case of need.
The clerk, Barney Earl, was locked up
with the guns. ' I called to him, and
he unlocked the door and handed me
two guns, and says he: 'Here you
take 'em I can't shoot' I come out
with the guns, and there was a half
breed Indian he was the only man in
sight 'Here;' I says, 'take this gun
and shoot at them devils, or I'll shoot
you,' and he did it Well, when the
others heard the shootin' it encouraged
'em a lot, and they came out and took
hold and helped, and the Indians went
away. We counted sixty bullet holes
in the pilot-house.
"Did I see any buffaloes? There's
two ladies noV living in St Louis who
went with me up to Fort Benton on the
Twilight when I carried 485 passen
gers at $300 apiece; and I killed the
game for all of 'em. How did I do it?
Every day or two we'd come to a place
where a herd of buffalo was crossing
the river, and the boat would run in
among 'em; I'd just rig my derrick
fall, and let down a great noose right
in front of a big fellow and haul him
up on board. I didn't need no cow
boy to rope stock for me; we got all
the fresh meat we wanted that way.
In '67 I brought down seventeen
buffaloes alive roped 'em right out of
the liver, and hauled my catch on
board with the derrick-fall. It beat
any seine you ever saw. But the
awful lest sight I ever saw on the river
was 50,000 buffaloes drowning. It was
about fifteen miles below the mouth of
the Yellowstone, and I was with my
own boat; the Ben Johnson. Charles
B. Chouteau was with me that trip,
and we come out on deck together.
You know what those plains are like
all light brown, and stretching away
to the end o' the world; you can see
fifty miles each way. Well, out there
on the prairie was a great black wave
rolling toward us; it was a herd of
buffalo on the stampede. It seems as
if I could see it now, the dust risin'
under the hoofs of the forward ones in
a sort of cloud that hid 'em from us
sometimes. As far as we could see, up
river and down, the country was full
of them buffaloes. They never deviat
ed; they come straight on; nothing
could turn 'em. The head ones reach
ed the river and began to go over the
bank; tbe water came to us in great
waves, and the noise was like a caving
bank when a thunderin' big slice goes
in all at once, only continuous. Soon
the river was alive with 'em, and still
they swept over; they was all around
us, with their great big heads, wicked
horns and great thick-shoulders all
covered with heav hair. I went over
to the bank and laid up, and all the
while that roar kept up, and that great
brown dusty wave pnuii over the
bank into the river. And then " the
captain leaned forward ami clutch l
my knee, while the horror of it all
lived again in his lace 'tli.n the
river was full full! Ami th y k-i.t
cotnin'; there wasn't no va hr-tl:
front ones to stop hue by the hlml ones
st'jppin' first For, you ste. they
couldn't get out on the other nil-,
where there was a batik twenty lect
high and as steep as the .sid ot a house.
They were four or five deep in the
river now; the bottom ones were dead;
they came down against tbe boat ami
rocked her, as the current carried 'em
under. Poor, bewildered brutes! They
used to get out onv the ice, and not
know it was ice; and the ice would
start to breakin' up and it would grind
up and grind them up, until their
bodies would cover the banks and the
sandbars." Atchison Globe.
If congress hopes to convice the
country of it's honest purposes in re
vising the tariff it will make some
special provision for revenues, such as
the imposition of an income tax or a
stamp on commercial paper.
But it is said that the income tax
amendment, which has been prepared
on the republican aide by Senator
Cummins, will be opposed by the re
actionaries on the ground that it will
create a surplus. This objection
would be wholly disingenuous, for the
right way to prevent a surplus, after
providing for ample revenues through
equitable taxation, is to take off the
import duties from the necessities of
life. The government should not de
rive its revenues by taxing the things
absolutely necessary to the poor and
those of moderate means.
And since the bill as it now stands
does not promise any reduction in the
cost of living, certainly a strong re
venue measure of some kind, independ
ent of import duties, ought to be pro
vided in order that this reduction may
be secured without causing a contin
ued deficit Kansas City Star.
The Parson and the Dentist
A clergyman went to have his teeth
fixed by a dentist. When the work was
dona the dentist declined to accept
mora than a nominal fee. The parson,
in return for his favor, insisted later
on the dentist accepting avolume of
the reverend gentleman's own writing.
It was a disquisition on the Pralms,
and on the flyleaf he had Inscribed this
appropriate quotation: "And my
mouth shall show forth, thy praise!'
Harper's Weekly.
Echoes from Another World.
O music! Thou that bringest the
past and the future with their flutter
ing flames so near to our wounds, art
thou the evening zephyr of this life
or the morning breeze of life to come?
Tes. thy notes are the echoes which
angels catch from the Joyous tones of
another world, in order to drop into
our mute heart and our desolate night
the exhaled vernal harmonies of the
heavens that fly far from us. Jean
Paul Richter.
Sought Fatal Inspiration.
- Vladimir Nesteroff, a Moscow man,
who had resolved to write a play after
the style of "Hamlet," took a dose of
Indian hemp, and invited three com
panions to write down, the words of
wisdom which he expected would fall
from his lips while he was under the
influence of the drug. As his words
were no wiser after 20 minutes he took
a larger dose, with the result that he
became unconscious and died.
Words and Acts.
Words are good, but they are not the
best The best Is not to be explained
by words. The spirit in which we act
Is the highest matter. Action can be
understood and again represented by
the spirit alone. No one knows what
he is doing, while he acts rightly; but
sf what is wrong we are always con
scious. Goethe.
When Shallowness Is Shown Up.
But the fact is, a man may do very
well with a very little knowledge, and
scarce be found out in a mixed com
pany; everybody is so much more
ready to produce his own, than to call
for a display of your acquisitions. But
in a tete-a-tete there is no shuffling.
The truth will out Charles Lamb.
The Man's Argument
It Is argued that woman remains In
ferior because man keeps her so, but
If he can keep her so it proves his
superiority; and if not inherently su
perior to begin, how could he have de
veloped his superiority against equal
or greater powers? London Saturday
Review.
Truth, and a Warning.
An Irish tenant who had Just
bought under the purchase act- boast
ed to the agent that his landlord was
now "God Almighty," and that he need
fear nothing. "Don't you be too sure,
Pat," was the reply. "Remember, God
Almighty evicted his first two ten
ants." Hard to Tell.
1 was unfortunate In not being able
to catch the speaker's eye," said the
young statesman. "Well," answered
Senator Sorghum, "you can't tell how
a speech will turn out Maybe you
were unfortunate and then again may
be you were lucky."
Cold and Fish.
Cold seems to have no effect 00
several varieties of fish. Perch win
live In ponds frozen over all winter;
and the white fish of Canada have
been frosea so atUt that they have
been brittle enough to break, yet
showed sigma of Ufa whea properly
thawed oat
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GLANCING OVER THE LIST.
of people who have had satisfactory photographs taken here is like looking over a
society directory. If any better photographs were to be bad anywhere these peo
ple Would Go There For Their Photographs.
The fact that they come here themselves, and send their friends, indicates that
ur claim that we make the best photographs to be had is justified. Come and
judge for yourself. DeHART STUDIO.
REALLY A LITTLE IMPULSIVE.
New Boarder Might Have Waited Until
He Got Acquainted.
When the new boarder went into
the dining room and sat down there
was only one other person at the table.
The new boarder had a kind heart and
thought he would be affable.
"I s'pose you've boarded here for
some time?" he said to the other man.
"res. Quite a while."
"How is it? Any good?"
"Yes, pretty fair. I have no com
plaint to make."
"Landlady treat you decent?"
"Well, perhaps I ought to" and
then he hesitated.
"Oh, never mind, old man," said the
new boarder. "That's "all right. I'm
on. But, say, mebby you never tried
chucking her under the chin once in a
while. That's the way to get on with
'em. I never had a landlady that didn't
treat me Al yet It's all in the way
you handle 'em. Call 'em 'sister and
give 'em soft, sweet, oozy talk about
their looks. That's the way to fetch
'em. I'll bet I can live here for a
month right now without being asked
for a cent. Watch me rudge her when
she comes in. Before this time to-morrow
she'll be telling me her family
history. Poor old girl! She looks as
If she'd bad her troubles. Probably
got tied up to some John Henry, who
was about man enough to shoo chick-!
ens out of the yard, and that's all. My
name's Smith. Let's see, I haven't
heard yours, have I?"
"No no. I believe not. But It
doesn't matter. I'm just the landlady's
husband."
AS IN HIS CHILDHOOD DAYS.
Probably Many Years Since Bishop
Had Been So Tenderly Cared For.
At an unusually large dinner-party,
where the guest of honor was an Eng
lish bishop, the butler, an elderly
man, was obliged to bring in from a
friend's house an inexperienced lad to
help him in the dinning-room. The
awkward helper annoyed the butler
beyond endurance with questions as to
his duties.
He continued interminably until the
butler, worn out and nervous, said Ir-
ronically:
"All you will need to do is to stand
behind the bishop's chair, and when
ever his lordship puts down his glass
you must reach over and wipe his
mouth with a napkin."
That silenced his assistant But the
young man actually took the order
seriously, and as soon as dinner be
gan he stationed himself behind the
bishop, waited till bis lordship had
drunk and put down his glass, and
then, as deliberately as his nervous
ness would permit, he opened out a
large napkin and wiped the dignified
old gentleman's mouth! Ladies' Home
journal.
Charm of the American Girl.
Here, girls, listen to what London
Society says of you! "The charm of
the American girl lies in her beauty
and social talents. She is an ideal
partner to dance with, to take in to
dinner or to sit out a picnic with, and
she usually makes an active and suc
cessful hostess. But when her hus
band discovers that she is never happy
except when going to parties, is bored
in the country unless with a housefuil
of guests, and Is always craving to
tear from one fashionable resort to an
other no rest, no peace it is then
that trouble comes in." Much London
Old Books
Rebound
In fact, for anything in tbe book
binding line bring your work to
Journal
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Society knows about it, eh? Granted
you are an ideal dancer, a beauty and
a charming dinner companion, did you
ever "sit out a picnic?" Picnics are
believed to be obsolete, as far as the
type of girl referred to here is con
cerned.
An Epistolary Hint.
In the letter from Boston
was a
special delivery stamp.
"What did she send that for?" the
woman wondered. "The information
she wants can be sent in an ordinary
letter! It won't need to be sent spe
cial." "That stamp." said the man, "Is a
delicate hint to be quick about answer
ing. It is a hurry-up device used by
many men. It is very effective. A two
cent stamp does not always spur one
to any special effort, but a special
delivery stamp means that the writer
wants what he wants whea he wants
it, and the most dilatory correspond
ent alive is not going to let any grass
grow between the scratches of his pen
when answering."
Specialty of Blind Physician.
There is at least one physician In
New York who manages to do excel
lent work and maintain himself well
without the use of his eyes. He ia
totally blind.
He has chosen for his sneclaltv dis-
eases of the chest, into which of course
the best eyes in the world couldn't
see. One of the compensations of na
ture has given him unusually acute
hearing, which la especially valuable
in his practice. His ears can find out
more about the lungs of his patients
than those of most seeing men.
Temperature.
The typhoid fever patient was look
ing very much disgusted with the
world when the doctor arrived to pay
his regular morning visit. He waa
convalescent, but didn't feel that way.
"Well." said the doctor cheerily,
pulling off his gloves, "how Is he to
day?" "Oh, he's getting along finely," said
the patient's wife. "He is all right
now except his temperature."
"Huh!" grunted the patient bitter
ly. "Hell's aU right too, except the
temperature."
About the Limf of Desire.
How glad tlie old world must be
that the beauty cult keeps alive. Sir
Philip Sidney's Stella offered him
"service and honor, wonder with de
light fear to offend." These ought ti
suit any man when accompanied with
pink cheeks and bright eyes.
What Doea It Mean?
Here is a dreadful looking puzzle:
PPAH CHTI WT HGU
ACT ONE RASDRIB
D L O
But it is so easy when you know the
answer. Just read backward and you
will see at once.
Imitate a Phonograph.
Take a large-sized jug and hold It
about three inches away from youi
mouth. Now speak or sing into it, and
the sound as it is forced out of the jug
will be found to exactly resemble a
talking machine.
A Good Word for the Bachelor.
"I'm not in favor of this scheme of
putting a tax on bachelors," says the
Philosopher of Folly. "On the con
trary. I think most of 'em should be
pensioned for refraining from making
homes unhappy." Cleveland Leader.
Office
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