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30.
Commercial Club Banquet.
- Over two hundred Columbus men,
and the invited guests, were of the un
animous opinion that the third annual
banquet of the Columbus Commercial
Club was by. far the best ever held.
Owing to late trains the speakers did
not arrive here until after seven o'clock,
and'then the reception at the Y. M. O.
A. building preceded the banquet The
ladies of the Congregational church
' served the, banquet, and their part was
taken care of in a very creditable man
ner. Mayor Phillips, the toastmaster, in
troduced J. B. Gray, president of the
Central City Commercial club, as the
first speaker of the evening, and he re
sponded to the toast, "The President of
Our Republic w Mr. Cray's talk was a
-fitting tribute to the -nation's chief ex
ecutive,' and was well received.
H. M. Bushnell responded to The
State Association," and told what it had
done and was endeavoring to accomplish.
One. point he made was the conservation
of the national resources of Nebraska,
and also the conservation of our rainfall.
Mr. Bushnell is president of the state
association and has held that position
'for three years, and he is an enthusiast
in the work. He is editor of the Lin
coln Trade Journal, which is the organ
of the state commercial clubs.
The general solicitor of the Burling
ton, J, M. Kelby, was the next speaker,
the toast beiDg "Noblees .Oblige"
After giving a definition of the subject
of the toast, Mr. Kelby made a very in
teresting talk on the relation of the
railroads and the people, as viewed by a
railroad employe. Mr. Kelby's position
in the railroad work made his talk all
the more interesting, and the facts and
figures he presented, were quite inter
esting. He made it clear that all the
railroads wanted was a fair deal
Victor Rosewater of the Omaha Bee,
had for his subject ''The Press," and
he told of improved methods of keeping
the world informed as to what was go
ing on each day. His " wireless' ' of over
five hundred years ago was amusing as
well as interesting.'
Governor Shallenberger spoke on "Our
State," and told of the advancement of
the commonwealth silicone first knew it
In speaking of the resources, he men
tioned that besides raising cattle and
hogs, Nebraska was a manufacturing
state, and quoted some statistics to prove
"hie statements that were a surprise to
his hearers, as many had the erroneous
impression that Nebraska's manufactur
ing was small and insignificant In bis
opening remarks the governor touched
on an incident of the last campaign
which caused considerable mirth.
. United States Senator E. J. Burkett
responded to the last toast, "Our Flag,"
His talk was not along the line of the
flag in war, but the flag in peace. In
cidentally the senator referred to one of
his trips in the east and said the people
were inclined to regard Nebraska as
away out west, and those who lived
here were enduring the hardships of the
frontier.
It was almost one o'clock before the
1 ast speech was concluded and in clos
ing Mayor Phillips reminded those pre
sent that instead of the annual banquet
Columbus would entertain the state or
ganization, with representatives from
many towns throughout the state.
Route No. 3.
Born, on March 31, to Mr. and Mrs. C.
J. Bisson, a son.
Miss Lydia Luschen has been at the
C. J. Bisson home for a couple of weeks.
The children of John Brunken, jr.,
who have been very sick, are reported
batter.
Miss Ida Hake of Route 1 was visiting
with Mr. and Mrs. William Wuraeman
Sunday.
Pater Schmitt, the Shell Creek miller,
loaded a cat of hogs for South Omaha
Monday.
Fred Siefken was a caller at the O. J.
Bisson home 8unday. We suppose he
. west there to see the new boy.
Monday nearly all the farmers were
sowing oats, and before they could disc
thest in they were covered with snow.
Mia. Ed Eisenmann of Columbus vis
ited with Mrs. W.J. Eisenmann from
Taeaday until Thursday of last week.
There has been considerable talk about
the, condition of the winter wheat, but
fanters on this route report it in fine
eoasa'tion.
Jftkhe Brunken of this route, was one
of a class of twelve confirmed by Rev.
Dssaager at the Loeeke Creek church
laatSuday.
Two children of Mr. .and Mrs. A Sup
press have been very sick with catar
rhal fsver, bat at present are improving.
'! tk l,ttl ari-ta hail irtaf. mmivahuI
ftasa. a severe attack of paeusaonia.
Boys dothss
Designed by
Widow Jones of Boston
- "Widow Jones"
SUITS me."
A new suit for all who are
not satisfied with these
goods. -
Files of The Journal April 7, 1873.
It is stated that they have; in Polk
county a teacher who sleeps and smokes
during school hours.
Grass all over the prairies is putting in
a modest appearance! The first of May
will probably find more pasture on hand
than is usual at that time of year.
' Advice comes from every direction to
the farmers of Nebraska to diversify
their crops. Sow wheat barley and
flax, plant plenty of corn and potatoes.
Tuesday afternoon of last week the
depot building in this city was struck
by lightning, damaging the roof and
one of the large' door poets. Mr. Ma
honey was felled to the floor, but escap
ed without receiving serious injury.
Stearns' Prairie has been .settled four
years this spring, and until recently no
burying place for their dead has been
established in the vicinity. Now a
beautiful location on the high lands
has been selected and a home cemetery
established..
Mr. J. W. Witchey, who a short time
since gave us a short account of the
young grasshoppers batohing out of the
earth put into bis seed plant box when
heated up by the stove,' called at the
Journal last Friday and imparted ad
ditional information on the subject,
concluding with, in our opinion, a very
important suggestion. On further in
veetigation Mr. Witchey has come to
the conclusion that all the grasshopper
eggs aeposiiea in cultivated ana expos-1
ed lands have been killed by the winter
frosts, but in his opinion the tall grass
on the prairie has protected the eggs
from the frosts of winter and it is there
that innumerable eggs with warm
weather brings forth the gaassboppers.
Mr. Witchey suggests that the farmers
clpb together, and so soon as the hatch
ing process is over burn the surround
ing prairie and kill the pests outright.
Walker Township.
Victor Salestrom has purchased a
rig. 80 now girls you better be on the
lookout.
Farmers are now very busy sowing
oats and doing other spring work, and
the ground is in excellent shape to be
worked.
Oliver Swanson is home from the
State university for the Easter vacation,
visiting his parents, Mr. and Mrs. John
Swanson.
Mrs. J. C. Nelson died last Wednesday
at the age of 73 years. She leaves three
sons and two daughters, Mrs. John
Swanson and Mrs. Martin Olson to
mourn the loss of a loving mother.
The one-third rent of a quarter section
of land worked by the Swanson boys,
and owned by widow Johnson at Genoa
will bring her the snug sum of eight
hundred dollars. How is that for
Walker township land?
Advertised Letters.
Following is a list of unclaimed mail
matter remaining in the post office at
Columbus, Nebraska, for the period end
ing April 7. 1909:
Letters E W Brown, G W .C, Mrs
Grayse Horsland, Mrs C V Johnson,
Miss Grace Marshall. "
Cards Jack Withworth, B Wilson.
Parties calling for any of the above
will please say advertised.
Carl Kramer, P. M.
FOB SALE.
5 room house, is first-class
conditio!, located 8 blocks from
business, corner lot, cement
walks, electric lights. This
property offered at a bargain.
Elliott, Speice& Co.
COAL.
We have all the leading grades of
soft coal. Also Penna. hard coal and
Semianthracite furnace coal.
Newman & Welch.
bally Toil ths Common Lot.
In all the civilized countries of the
world 60 per cent of the persons over
ten years old hava to work for a
living.
Good Maxim.
Never talk of your designs until
they have been accomplished, and
even then the less said the better.
A Pound of Cork te a Man.
One pound of cork Is saflcfent ta
support a atan of ordinary six la the
water.
GREISEN
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MODEL 10
TOO AFFECTIONATE FOR MAYOR.
Dignified Official Dislikes Being
Hugged in the Dark by Bruin.
When closing time came in the city
hall the other afternoon Mayor
Charles H. French coughed impres
sively, indicating a proper degree of
satisfaction with the' dignified prog
ress of his administration, closed his
roll-top desk with a bang, permitted the
messenger to adjust his overcoat and
present his hat, and then trod forth
to meet his fellow townsmen, says a
Concord (N. J.) dispatch to the New
York Herald. Instead of going out the
front door of the city hall, however,
Mayor French took a short cut that
led through a dark hallway past the
back entrance of a theater.
Whilej the mayor In the city hall was
throwing off the shackles of official
care a wrestling bear in the theater
was busy throwing off the shackles of
a more material nature, and as the
mayor put on his overcoat the bear
shed its leather collar. So it came
about that as the mayor entered the
dark hallway at one end, the bear en
tered it at another. The mayor has
a great respect for bears, but this
bear had no respect at all for mayors.
In the darkness the mayor felt a
powerful detaining force laid upon his
arm.
"Sir," he said. In chilly tones, "If
you have business with me, you may
call at my office in the morning."
"Ur-g-r-r." was the unpleasantly
harsh response.
"My man" began the mayor, but
he stopped right there, for a furry arm
was thrown about his neck, and a
rough tongue made a demonstration,
which, If It was intended for a kindly
salute, failed utterly of its purpose
witn tne mayor.
"Le' go!" commanded the mayor, but
his companion showed no' disposition
to yield to harsh commands. The mayor
had other resources. He struck out so
savagely with his free hand, and with
such painful precision, that the bear,
smitten on the nose, loosed its hold
and fell back a step. .
Content with this temporary victory,
the'mayor sped agilely back over the
route he had Just traversed, shouting:
"Bear! Bear!" at every jump. In cor
roboration of his alarm, the bear gal
loped along behind, bound not to be de
serted by his new friend. The mayor
was the first to reach an open door,
through which he sped just in time to
be able to close it in the face of his
pursuer.
The bear was led back into captiv
ity by the theater employes.
Woman, Lovely Woman.
Short Description of a Stylish Wom
anHer waist begins just below her
neck. Her hips have been planed off
even with the rest of her body. She is
usually buttoned up the back, and
around her neck she wears a section
of barbed wire, covered with lace. She
wears on her head a blonde haystack
of hair, and on top of this a central
dome with rings about the same size
as those of Saturn. She is swathed
in her gown like an Indian papoose,
and on the end of her feet are dabs of
patent leather. . She walks on stilt
like heels with the .expert ness of a
tight-rope dancer. The pores of her
skin are full of fine white powder.
K This is a woman. Harper's Weekly.
Freaks of Electricity,
jnectricity is a freakish manifesta
tion of energy, not a bit accustomed to.
our curb and rein. A queer incident
just reported at Rockport, Mass.,
shows this. A big iron freight steam
er, loading granite at a pier, has been
found to. be completely electrified.
The cfaareine current annarentlv
came via tne water pipe wnicn was
mixed up with a grounded lighting
wire. The vessel Is a sort of floating
Leyden jar, and no one knows just
how to restore the equilibrium. Mean
time the electricity Is playing all
sorts of freaks with her machinery
and instruments. Watches are fre
quently magnetized, but for a big ves
sel to be thus affected Is a disagree
able, if Interesting novelty.
Orderly Wine Drinkers.
"They let us play cards in our wine
room," said the New York wine mer
chant "It is not against the law. It
would be If we sold whiskies, but
not wine. The reason? Why, one man
out of ten gets ugly and quarrelsome
when he drinks whisky, but no max
who drinks wine shows his true na
tare in the same way. If those men
over there at that table were drink
ing whisky Instead of fine Rhine wine,
there would be a fight every ten min
utes with the cops called in."
Why Worry?
It does not pay to fume over things
we cannot change. As the poet says
"expense of', spirit is a waste of
shams." Flout fortune and he merry
As Meat sf Us Do.
The tailor and milliners have begun
ta tail people what they are going U
wear Joat as If they were not to co
Una to wear what they gsf.
Sr V -
Jfkr1im
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF BABY.
Advice That May or May Not Be of
Interest to Fathers,
t
My friend Miss Jones, whose "Moth
ers' Column" forms so popular a fea
ture in that 'widely-read magazine,
Home, Hearth and Henyard, said to
me: "My dearest Victoria, why do you
not write a fathers' page for the peri
odical which you yourself represent?
Now that the suffragette oarade's so
hamper mother in her domestic duties,
father must be prepared lo' assume
many of those household cares which--pertained
formerly to her own prov
ince." Above all else, father should re
member that baby is not a machine,
but a bald, vocalized, nocturnal, rubi-'
cund, omnivorous mammal indigenous
to flats, but found elsewhere in con
siderable quantities.
A Binghampton father writes:' "I
have a sweet little toddler who cries
himself red in the. face whenever we
endeavor to correct him. I am afraid'
that he will work himself into a fit
What shall I do?"
Paint baby's face with stripes of deli
cate green. This will relieve the glare
which is often injurious to father's
eyes. If signs of a fit appear, rip baby
up the back lightly with a pair of scis
sors. Harper's Weekly.
MAKES CAPITAL OF KNOWLEDGE.
Advice for the Worker Just Getting a
Start in His Career.
When you get a job, just think of
yourself as actually starting out in
business yourself, as really working
for yourself. Get as much salary as
you can, writes Orison Swett Harden
in the Success Magazine, but remem
ber that that is a very small part of
the consideration. You have actually
gotten an opportunity to get right into
the very heart of the great activities
of a large concern, to get close to men
who do things; an opportunity to ab
sorb knowledge and valuable secrets
on every hand; an opportunity to
drink in, through your eyes and your
ears, knowledge wherever you go In
the establishment, knowledge that will
be invaluable to you in the future.
Every hint and every 'suggestion
which you can pick up, every bit of
knowledge you can absorb, you should
regard as a part of your future capital
which will be worth more than money
capital when you start out for your
self. Just make up your mind that you
are going to be a sponge in that in
stitution and absorb every particle of
information and knowledge, every sug
gestion possible.
Training of Children.
Treat the child more as an equal
not as a hopeless inferior. There
isn't much need of coming down to
his level as of giving him an oppor
tunity to come up to yours which will
not require such a frightful effort on
his part as you sometimes Imagine. If
you can get a child to recognize and
treat you as his equal you will have
gained the highest possible position
of influence over him and earned the
best and sincerest compliment ever
paid you. We dwell greatly upon
what parents teach their children, but
we forget to record in equal detail on
the opposite side of the ledger what
our children teach us. It would be
difficult to say on which side the bal
ance would be found to fall. The child
is not merely the ideal pupil but also
the greatest teacher in the world.
The lessons that we learn from him, it
we approach him with proper hu
mility, are the most valuable part ol
our education.
Right to Bathe in Icy River.
When the temperature is at freezing
a policeman is, no doubt, justified in
concluding that a person diving Intc
the Seine intends to commit suicide.
Two Paris policemen, acting under
this impression the other day, fished
out of the river a man who was seen
splashing about under the Pont des
Arts. "Leave me alone," were the first
words, "I am a free citizen, and you
have no right to prevent me from
bathing if I want to. I don't want to
die. I am making experiments to de
termine the strength of my powers ot
resistance to' the cold. Leave me
alone." He then dived into the watei
again leaving the policemen consider
ably astonished, and with a wider ac
quaintance than ever of the eccentri
cities of human nature.
Natural Advantages.
"I am sorry I did not marry in South
America," remarked the ostensible
head of the house. "Here I see where
a woman from there Is telling worn
en's clubs that in South America the
wives do not object to their husband's
coming in at two and three o'clock in
the morning, as they do not think it
is any of their business."
"Don't omit all the advantages," re
plied his better half, coldly. "You
might 'recall that in South America,
also, husbands can see snakes without
arousing any ulterior suspicions."
Enlightenment.
I wonder that you did not get angry
when your enemy applied all those
epithets to you."
"I meant to be angry," replied the
statesman, "but that man has a brand
new line of epithets, and I was busy
trying to remember them for my own
use in the "uture."
y
A Need of the Occasion.
"Can you stake me off, to a good
dinner, old chap?"
"Sure, if I can find a place with a
good steak."
No Need to Be Alarmed.
An English writer says education Is
ridding the world of genius by making
everybody a -mediocrity. Don't get
scared. A real 'genius is always s
long' way ahead of the very latest edu
cation. Act far Oneself.
Well Is it for us to do our own
thinking, listening quietly to the opin
ions of others, hut to be sufficiently
men and women to act always upon
"ear own convictions. Ralph Waldo
Trias.
'
- FRITZ y. A. PAUL
Violin and Piano, all Brass and Reed Iastro-
neat-w,
At home' for intending Indent Tnemlnjn
and Fridays,' 3 to -I p, a., at No. 1018 Washington
Arenua.
Telephone, Ball RInek 278. P. O. Box 511
LITTLE DEMAND FOR SERVICES.
Business' of Ghost Eradicator Not 'in
Very Flourishing Condition. ;
These are the days of the special
ist in all things and it is not surpris
ing to read of a gentleman who de
scribes himself as "The Original
Haunted House Restorer and Ghost
Eradicator." Nor is it astonishing to
find that he complains of slackness of
trade. A ghost, if it be a well authenti
cated and respectable ghost, repre1
sents an asset and these are days
when property owners do not willingly
sacrifice assets. Moreover, a well es
tablished family ghost with a history
of generation? has a title to regard
himself as a vested interest and enti
tled to all compensation for disturb
ance, says tho Westminster (Eng.)
Gazette. If there were any real pros
perity in this trade of -ghost banisher
we should have to counteract Its de
structive power by a great league and
covenant of all the printers of Christ
mas stories, of the amateurs of the oc
cult and the scientific searchers after
a spirit world. Tor all. these the
ghost is an essential to continued ex
istence. Banish the spook and their
occupation would be gone, and John
Burns would be invaded -by an armyi,
of psychical researchers out of work
and demanding special treatment In
the forthcoming legislation of the gov
renment SAW GROWTH OF DISPOSITION.
All That Good-Natured Man Was Will
ing to Admit. -
There Is an extremely good-natured
Yankee merchant near Southampton,
Mass.. who has for years sustained the
i,r.i0n f im-- ,., f 1-...1M
burden of "looking out" for an invalid
cousin, a man whose infirmities oof
temper have increased in direct ratio
to his bodily aliments.
One day a neighbor had overheard
the cousin's entirely unwarranted re
'criminations as to the manner- in
which he was being taken care of, re
criminations that had been met with
perfect equanimity by the long-suffering
merchant.
The neighbor was indignant. "Why
on earth, Bill," he asked, "do you al
low that-old codger to abuse you so,
you who are so good to him? He's get
ting worse and worse."
"Well," said the good-natured man,
"I suppose Tom's troubles make him a
trifle cross at times. Though," he
added,- apparently against his will, "1
must say that recently I've thought
Tom was Increasing a little in his dis
position." Illustrated Sunday Maga
zine. Free Masonry.
The origin of Free Masonry Is un
known. Its history can be traced foi
upwards of 500 years. Its traditions
go back many hundreds of years pre
viously. It is fraternal and benevo
lent in its purpose. Ancient Craft Ma
sonry consists of four degrees only
but many other branches and degrees
have been added from time to time
further exemplifying and illustrating
the lessons taught in the original de
grees. William Morgan was an impe
cunious printer of northern New York,
who threatened to print the so-called
secrets of Masonry, and who, on being
arrested for debt or some other cause
suddenly disappeared. His disappear
ance about 1825 was taken hold of and
exploited for political purposes. The
so-called exposure is unreliable and
valueless. Morgan was not a true Ma
son. v
The Biter Bit.
A week or two ago an attendant at
one of the big theaters on the Paris
boulevards found a fine pear necklace
which she handed over to the box
office. One of the spectators, a lady
saw the woman pick up the necklace
and went to the box-office and claimed
it as her own. To mark her appre
ciation of the attendant's honesty she
gave her 20 francs. The next day
however, the real owner of the neck
lace 'presented herself at the theater to
make inquiries. On hearing what had
occurred she burst into a laugh, and
explained that the pearls were but imi
tation, and had cost .her 12 francs only
So the smart'lady" loses at least
eight francs on the transaction.
The Esthetic Bachelor.
The modern bachelor is an ardent
admirer of well chosen furniture and
of beautiful pictures and china, nor is
he oblivious to the charms of lovely
old silver and dainty napery. To have
tea with him is often an esthetic as
well as a material pleasure.
Only in one thing in his establish
ment does one note the missing fem
inine touch. A woman's room always
contains flowers; a man's scarcely
ever. Black and White.
Find Water Where Badly Needed.
A Hindu engineer experimenting in
artesian boring at Patiala struck a
spring of water 100 feet below the sur
face which discbarges 6,000 gallons an
hour through a three Inch tube. It is
believed that the discovery may revo
lutlonize local agriculture, which, has
languished owing to the lack of irri
gation, as the artesian stratum ex
tends apparently from Patiala to the
Himalayas.
To Develop American Artists.
Five wealthy New York women sub
scribed $5,000 each to create a fund,
the income of which is to be used to
send one American architectural stu
dent to the Paris Ecole des Beaux
Arts every three years for a 2 years
course. The donors are: Mrs. Goe
let, Mrs. Harry Payne Whitney, Mrs.
Auchauty, Mrs. W. K. Vanderbilt and
Mrs. Alexander G. Cochran. '
The Earners.
T never read of any millionaire who
sen afford to be reckless and foolishly
extravagant," ays Mr. Tukaway,
"without thinking what a lot of people
mna work tnr film fft 1a tfian thaw
ought to get" Kansas City Tlsaes.
BUFFER AND DIE IN A WRECK.
r MtiBjvlwIvft HIV9 Crtwlw KXV9ff9v
Off Ceaet ef'lcclane.
1
A terrible tale of shipwreck
toll by the nine survivors of the craw
of p of the GriaMby trawler Wash
ington, which was wrecked on tho
coast of Iceland on December 23. Tho
jam reached 'Leith recently, their
nnsrfs and feet still Showing signs of
their sufferings during a. blizzard. NThe
vessel, wis wrecked during a heavy
gate on the rocks near Selvoyr; and
the only .boat and two rafta ware
washed sway. Notwithstanding the
gigantic sea8 which swept over tho
ship, the mate, Alma Kemp, seized a
life-line and endeavored to swim with
it to the shore 200 yards away. The
attempt failed, .however, and his 'ship
mates had to haul him back to the
ship.' So terrible had been his suffer
ings that he went mad and died within
half an hour. Then the second en
gineer went mad, and as the tide rose
the crew had to retreat to the wheel
house, where theystood up .to their
waists in water, holding the Insane en
gineer. When the. tide receded they
found some food, but it was soaked in
salt water. When the darkness came
on the tide rose again and the vigil
of the crew through the long night
was a terrible one, and before daylight
came two of the hands and the asad
engineer had been washed away. In
the morning the plight of the ship
wrecked .sailors was seen by" the is
landers, and they were rescued by
means of a line.
REWARDED FOR HIS TRUSTING.
Shoemaker's Faith in Providence Evi
dently Waa Not Misplaced.
The pastor of a negro church in a
southern state was one day making
his weekly visit, when he dropped in
upon a member of his congregation
who was a shoemaker. Tho preacher
was surprised to find that his parish-
nnot iKiit11t a tr t.
"" " ' ?. ey
demeanor, was on this occasion in
an extremely despondent mood.
"Well, doctah," explained the shoe
maker, sadly, in response to the di
vine's question. "I'se just got a rival
shoemaker dat's set up asj'nsL me
down the street, an mah trade is al
ready beginning to leave!"
"Come, cornerman," expostulated the
clergyman, "you mustn't allow your
self to be cast down like that! Meet
your trouble like a man, and, above
all, trust. to Providence and all will
come right."
When, on the next round of visits,
the minister called again on the shoe
maker, he was delighted to find the
cobbler as cheery and gay as ever he
was.
"I told you your troubles would van
ish if you trusted in Providence, didn't
I?" demanded the preacher.
"That's right!" quickly assented the
other. "And I took your advice..'
Then, after a bit, he added, signifi
cantly, "The other shoemaker's dead!"
Harper's Weekly.
Curious Mourning Custom.
A curious mourning custom obtains
among central Australians, who, al
though representing, perhaps, the low
est and most degraded type of human
beings, have managed to evolve a most
complex system of rites and ceremo
nies, which governs almost every ac
tion of their lives. When a husband
dies, the widow paints herself all over
with white pigment, and for the space
of a year must not-exhibit herself to a
male member of the tribe on pain of
death. For the rest of her life, unless
she marries again, which is sometimes
allowed, she must not speak, but com
municate with the other women by
means of a sign language, consisting
ot movements of the hands and fin
gers, which has been developed by
these savages to a marvelous extent
and by which their limited stock of
t ideas can be fully expressed.
A Dramatic Suicide.
A novel, but grewsome, method of
suicide is that of Lieut Stanwekicz
Galicia. He saturated the furniture of
his room with naphtha, which he alsc
poured over the floor, and he placed on
the carpet a number of ball cartridges
Then he fired the room in several
places, so -that In a few minutes it was
converted Into a veritable furnace, and
finally hurled himself into the midst of
the flames. The smoke ana" a series of
violent explosions alarmed the neigh
bors, who hastened to help in extin.
guishing the fire, but when it was pos
sible to enter the house only the ashes
of the lieutenant were to be found.
The American Voice.
Whatever be the cause, it is a fact
that American men no longer seek to
control the pitch of their voices as the
gentlemen of the old school were
taught to do. Undue haste, excessive
nervousness, and a vigor of purpose
that is likely to assert itself in an
overemphatic manner have probably
combined to produce in the American
voice that raw, shrill, unrestrained
quality so noticeable. The voices of
American women are even more shock
ing when heard In contrast to the Iow
well-modulated voices of European
women. Washington Post.
Yellow Peril.
"What Is your idea of the yellow
peril?"
"The only one I'm afraid of," an
swered the comfortable statesman, "it
the restaurant soft-boiled egg."
Nothing Pure.
Bill Do you believe this theory that
there are microbes in kisses?
Jill Ob, yes; everything seems to
be adulterated nowadays.
Postal Treadmills.
"Talking abou treadmills," said the
owner of the flat, "my little postman
says he's been on this beat for 19
years. Imagine walking around a
eouple of blocks five or six times s
iay for 19 years." New York Press.
stc Slew to Judge.
Therefore thou art inexcusable, O
man, whosoever thou art, that judgest,
for wherein thou judgest another, thoa
condemnest thyself; for thou that judg
est doest the same things. Rossaas
1:L.
MAIL DELIVERED. TO BAILORS.
River Peatmen Employee en
Thames at Lane, England.
the
It is probable that London has the
distinction of being the only port where
shine lying at anchor are privileged to
have their letters delivered to them
by river postmen, it being custoaamry
at other ports for sailors to apply per
sonally for their letters unless the
ship is in dock. The Thames Is di
vided Into two' postal districts, each
under the control of a river postman.
.who delivers letters and parcels every
Sftorning, in a craft which resembles
a fisher boat store than anything else.
Of these districts the first extends
from 'the custom house to Lime
house, and the second from Limehouse
to Blackwall. The river postmen start
on their rounds punctually at eight
o'clock every morning, and, needless
to say, there is only one delivery a
day. The mail bag may include as
many as 500 letters, but this number
is largely increased about Christmas
time: As he glides from ship to ship
the postman calls out: "Ahoy there!"
and hands up the letters attached to
a boathook to the waiting crew. It
only takes-from four to live hours to
deliver the mail, so that the postman
does not waste much time. In foggy
weather, however, it takes consider
ably longer, owing to the difficulties
of finding the various ships, and of
steering between the large vessels as
.they lie at anchor.
EXERCISE JOINTS AND MUSCLES.
Novel Machines Installed in a
York Medical College.
Nev
The 30 steel machines, with their
complicated mechanism, which will b
used in the new department of me-
chanicotherapy in the Vanderbilt
clinic of the College of Physicians and
Surgeans at New York have been
placed on public exhibition. The ma
chines are a gift of Mrs. Ray Mat
shak, in memory of her husband, who
was a prominent merchant. Arranged
In long rows in a room of the clinic,
they look like gymnastic apparatus of
intricate design. '
Dr. Charles H. Jaeger, one of nhd
surgeons or the hospital, explained
the machines would give strength to
the tissues, bones and muscles of pa
tients convalescing from operations
The principle of the system is to ex
ercise the joints and muscles to re
store them to their normal condition
"These machines are so planned,"
Dr. Jaeger said, "that there isn't a
Joint or muscle-In the entire body that
cannot be exercised by one of them.
The system might be called medical
gymnastics, by means of which any
workman who has suffered a fracture
or, other injury which has disabled a
joint or muscle can have the stiffened
joint or muscle restored to full work
ing capacity in the shortest possible
time."
Advice to the Sick.
Illness may bring up from our sunk
en natures many a submerged thing
patience, or good spirits or self-obliteration;
but it has not done its duty
by us till it has dragged out of our
quivering depths the military qualities.
I know a woman who said: "I have
been an invalid for 30 years. I am
now growing old and my remaining
days are few. I thought I had learned
the lessons that God meant to teach
me by physical suffering. But I have
only mastered the easiest of them.
1 thought I must try to be a saint.
Now I see. that I must be a soldier."
Physical malaise plays strange
tricks with Its' victims; it conjures
curiosity. Regard it as an enemy as
long as. you can. Nothing Is sadder
than mistaken friendships, and to
make a friend of one's pathological
calamities may be an important error
precisely because one does not sus
pect that it is such. Recovery may be
more a matter of will power than we
suppose; or it may not be. Why not
give it the benefit of the doubt?
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps, in Harper's
Bazar.
Practical Philosophy.
It is a rare philosopher who puts his
reading Into practice. A housekeepet
whose patience was none of the best
had a Japanese cook, studiously In
clined, and not overexpert in his pro
fesslon. She went Into her kitchen
one day 'to direct the preparation ol
dinner. George was poring over s
book.
"What are you reading?" she asked
"Schopenhauer," George replied.
"Do you think you can understand
such philosophy?" the mistress in
quired.
"Yes," honorable madam. I under
stand it; I apply it. When you come
to tell me how to cook, it Is good tc
remember what the white man say&
about women. I read here, then I dc
not mind what you say."
Inconsiderate.
"I was sorry to hear of your hus
band's long illness and death, Mrs
Weeds. It .must have been a great
loss to you."
"Oh, It was! It was! I had jusl
started on one of the most brilliant so
dal seasons since I made my debul
when his illness stopped everything
If he had only been taken sick in thi
summer months, I could have gont
away somewhere, but men are so sel
fish."
Made Her Weary.
. Little Helen Sister, that new beat
of yours makes me tired.
Elder Sister Why. dear?
Little Helen He has the manner!
of a street car conductor. When I
went into the parlor last night he salt
"How old are you. little Rirl?"
Chinese Woman's Jewels.
"Chinese ladies are very fond of
jewels," says Sir Alexander Hosle, the
British attache at Pekin. "I was a
passenger on a train between Pekin
and Tientsin, and a young Chinese
eouple joined the train.
"The woman's thumb and the four
fingers of each band were simply cov
ered with gold rings encrusted with
stones of every description from dia
mond to tarquolse. She seemed o
pressed by her adornment and held
her hands straight down, being so en
m rags as to be unable to bead
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