The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, March 03, 1909, Image 8

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    " .
(
I
i.
H
I?
i
if
.!'
I
3
!
L;
fif.
s
ti
c
I "
I
l'v
Not Another
. Copyright 1908 br
MkJi-SOT & Co
'fecbaier.N.Y
Gerharz-Flynn
Sherman Township News.
Otto Staub of Columbus was baying
oattle in this vicinity Saturday.
Will Naber and sister Emma, from
near Leigh, were visiting friends in
Sherman Sunday.
Henry Snader loaded a car of hogs for
the South Omaha market Monday, mak
ing the shipment from Greston.
Herman Hembt and Ed Luedtke have
gone to Boone county, and while there
will visit one of their old friends, John
Hoblm.
Route No. 2.
Alois Hahn has moved from route No.
5 to the Luckey place on route No. 2.
Joseph Schaecher of routh No 1 has
moved on to the A. Heintz farm on this
route.
Alois Bertel sold his place to a man
named Guns from O'Neill and is moving
to Salem, Ore.
Tuesday of this week a large ice gorge
formed about three-quarters of a mile
west of the. B. & M. railroad bridge, and
as result the water covered the lowlands
for considerable distance on each side of
the river.
Route No. 1.
Otto Treiniese and Chris Michelson
have been putting up windmills the last
two weeks.
Last Friday morning before breakfast
Emil Hake shot a wolf in Frank Luch
einger's pasture.
Otto Staab, the stock buyer, was on
the route and in Sherman township,
buying cattle last Saturday.
Miss Lydia Luescben left last Sunday
for near Creston, where 6he will visit a
couple of weeks with her sister, Mre.
Otto Loeeke.
Herman Gigax and Louis Wilken had
a car load of fat hogs on the South
Omaha market last Tuesday. Louis
Wilken and Fred Cattau went along to
see them sell.
Walker Township.
P. P. Johnson made a business trip to
Columbus.
John Swanson attended the republican
banquet at Columbus Thursday evening.
Jorgen Christensen and son Martin
were passengers for Columbus Thurs
day morning.
Martin A. Nelson of Geno& was visit
ing friends and relatives on the Looking
Glass last week.
Mat Wilson is building a new house on
his eighty acres in section fourteen, on
the south line of Walker township.
As usual, the first of March mover has
bad roads to contend with. Quite a few
in the neighborhood chance places.
Ernest Carlson moves on Peter Gustaf-
son'e place, Charley Olson moves on P.
W. Carlson's place, and Henning Ander
son moves on Swan Nicklason's place.
The Lion and The Mouse.
The preliminary seat sale for "The
Lion and the Mouse1' is now in operation
and there are splendid indications for
its presentation at the North Theatre
next week before large audiences. This
play by Charles Klein which points out
the mischief wrought by the centraliza
tion of financial power was the first of
its kind set before playgoers and its
author and promoter have reaped rich
returns from a pecuniary point of view.
Playgoers without exception to class or
other distinction have always felt that
they received full value for their invest
ment and these happy conditions have
resulted in a popularity for Mr. Klein's
creation that is sure to keep it in the
foreground of favorities for a consider
able number of years. Oliver Doud
Byron and Dorothy Donnelly have the
principal roles in the company booked
here next week and the entire cast is of
a correspondingly high order of merit,
Prices 50-7641.00-S150.
in Nebraska
Ahorseis'a horse as
long as he stands up, and
that is about the way
some people look at a suit
of clothes. The Gerharz
Flynn Co. want to caution
against both penury and
extravagance. We have
them cheap, and we have
them higher, but we ad
vise those priced between
$10 ni $25
We have a beautiful line
of patterns and fabrics
within this range of prices.
There is not another house
in Nebraska that will show
you the qualities we will
at $12.50, $15.00 and
$18.00, beautiful shadings.
We are showing Boys'
Suits at from $2.50 to
$5.00 that Omaha houses
are getting $400 to $7.50
for.
Nice line of Shirts on
sale this week at Special
Prices.
Co.
rawHHJUtiiH m unniii
I 'many years ago. I
Files of the Journal, March 3, 1875.
J. C. Morrissey contemplates erecting
this spring, a large two story brick
building, 22x80, on the lot adjoining
Henry & Bro's. store, on the east. This
building is designed for a storeroom.
We understand, from reliable sources
that other parties intend erecting sever
al new buildings the coming season,
within the city limits.
Lieut. R H. Young has just finished
the seed grain rolls for Platte county
and kindly furnishes us with the number
of persons who will actually need seed
grain the coming spring. His rolls, as
made up, shows that four hundred and
six heads of families, and one thousand
nine hundred and three individuals have
reported themselves in need of seed
grain.
A bill has passed the Nebraska legisla
ture fixing the maximum rate of assess
ment of railroad property, including side
tracks, switches, telegraph lines, etc., at
$10,000 per mile. Heretofore the U. P.
paid a tax on an assement of $12,250
per mile. Quite a little difference in the
valuation, and quite a little difference to
the tax payers of the several counties
through which the road will pass.
A law passed by the recentrsession of
the legislature of this state forbiding the
employment of a teacher who may be re
lated to either of the district officers.
We have not had the pleasure of read
ing the law, but suppose the lawmakers
have defind particularly how near of
kin the parties must be to forbid the
employment. It iB very important that
district officers and teachers take notice
accordingly.
"Mrs. Wiggs of The Cabbage Patch"
"We've seen a good time for once in
our lives," cried Asia Wiggs to her moth
er, still dazed by the light and color of
the playhouse as they returned to.the
Cabbage Patch after their first visit to
the theatre. So, too, everyone sees a
good time perhaps the best the current
stage has to offer who goes to see "Mrs.
W. Wiggs of the Cabbage Patch," which
comes to the North Theatre Monday
March 8. Here is a play made by Mrs.
Anne Crawford Flexnerfrom the stories
of her friend and neighbor, Mrs. Alice
Hogan Rice, which renders Mrs. Wires.
Lovey Mary, Little Tommy and the
children Asia, Europena, and Austra
lia doubly dear to those who learned to
love them on the cheery books, and adds
new and abiding types to the minds of
all who appreciate the best in dramatic
art. Miss Hazy, the gloomy spinster,
who sees life through smoked glasses,
and Mr. Stubbins, shiftless and ne'er-do-well,
but a connoisseur in home cooking,
emerge in the play more comical than in
their original environment. The com
pany that is to present Mrs. Wiggs of
the Cabbage Patch here has just closed
a most successful Australian engage
ment and is now on it's way to Chicago
for a special revival of this piece.
Advertised Letters.
Following is a liat of unclaimed mail
matter remaining in the post office at
Columbus, Nebraska, for the period end
ing March 3, 1909:
Letters John A Burke, Miss Emma
Burg, Roy Baker, Agnes Hyland Oonant,
E H Crocker, WmC Golden, Maurice
Levi, Miss Jane Lee. J Morbough.
Cards Mrs O H Carter, Mies Lulu
Dotzauer, Johnny Fuchs, Miss Alta
Jacobs, James William Monahan, Fran
cis Martin, Gus Ohlman, Miss V Vinton,
L R Wenrich.
Parties calling for any of the above
will please say advertised.
Carl Kramkr, P. M.
SEEDS.
Garden and field seeds.
JOHAXKES & KSUULANO.
Y. M. C. A.. Notes.
Big preparations are being made for
the First Anneal Indoor Athletic Meet
to be held by the Local Associa
tion, on Tuesday evening the 16th of
March. It will be open to every member
of the Association and from all indica
tions there will be a large number o
entries. First the second ribbons will
be given to those winning such places
in every event and a special Pennant is
being made by a certain groupe of the
city's young ladies to present to the
winning team in the Relay Race. Points
will be given for all records imade and
they are so figured out that every man
entering may win some points, no mat
ter, what place he may make. To the
man making the most number of points
will be given the title of Columbus Y.
M. C. A. Athlete for the year. The
names of the winning men in each event
will be placed upon a shield and hung in
the Association Gymnasium.
FOB SALE.
160 acre farm, located near
Primrose, Neb., 120 acres under
plow, 12 acres alfalfa, good 4
room house, barn for six head
horses, granary, corn crib,
wind mill and sheds. The land
is first-class soil and one of the
smoothest farms in that section
of country. Price $50 per acre,
easy terms.
Elliott, Speice & Go.
Baptist Church.
Sunday school 10 a. m., preaching 11
a. mn Jnnior 3 p. m. , B. Y. P. U. 6:30 p. m.
preaching 730 p. m.; prayer meeting
Thursday 8 p. m. Morning subject,
"Which Thing Became a Snare unto
Gideon and unto bis House." Evening
subject, "The Way Into the Kingdom."
You are welcome. Come.
Rev. R. W. Reinhart, Pastor.
Card of Thanks.
I wish to express my sincere and heart
felt thanks to my friends and neighbors
for their sympathy and assistance, and
the beautiful floral tributes in my lat
bereavement of my beloved wife.
George E. Loseke.
COAL.
We have all the leading grades of
soft coal. Also Penna. hard coal and
Semianthracite furnace coal.
Newman & Welch.
STARTED TOO LATE IN LIFE.
Fate of Ex-Tightwad Should Point a
Moral to All.
Once there was a man, dear chil
dren, who had the reputation of being
a tightwad, because he dressed shab
bily, seldom patronized a barber, ate
his meals at five-cent lunch counters
when he was down-town, and carried a
dollar watch.
Yet this tightwad was generous with
his 'family. At Christmas time he al
ways gave his wife and children nu
merous and expensive presents with
apparently as much enjoyment as if
he were large-hearted and benevolent.
One Christmas season, after he had
made his purchases for the various
members of his family, not forgetting
some deserving friends besides, a
strange thought struck him.
"In all these years," Jie said, "I have
not given myself any Christmas pres
ents. I think it's my turn. I will buy
a few, just for John Joseph, individu
ally." So he went to a tailor shop and or
dered a fine suit of clothes. Then he
bought a gold watch and chain and
presented them to himself. He ate his
meals, when down-town, at first-class
restaurants, went to a barber shop for
a shave every day, joined a club, and
began to look around for a private sec
retary. Then something happened.
What do you think it was, dear chil
dren? His family made application to the
courts for a conservator, on the ground
that he was no longer capable of man
aging his own affairs.
MADE GREAT APPEAL TO HIM.
Silence of Ants Especially Impressed
Bibulous Individual.
'T hope and trust, muh po under
done brudder," severely said good old
Parson Bagster, addressing a bibulous
ly Inclined member of his flock, "dat
de 'stressln eppersode of night befo'
last will be a lesson to yo'!"
"Yassah!" replied the erring one,
wagging his head, convincedly. "I
sho'ly regglns 'twill. I been uh-packin
home too many drams, bow and agin,
yuh of late, as muh wife fine lady
as dar Is in the world! has been
p'lntedly tellin' me. But, on de monu
mental 'casion yo' defers to I gits lit
up and draped down by de wayside
and slept all night on an ant hill, and
de paltry varmints mighty nigh eat
me up. Blame' near skinned me alive,
sah, dem ants did; but dey didn't talk
nh-whilst dey was doin it Nussah,
dey never said a word 'bout de awful
contamination o' muh heenyus con
duct, and all dis and dat and de tud
der dess ett me up in peace and
quiet And atter dis, if I keeps muh
mind, whenever I gits too much o' dat
'ar balloon juice in muh pussonallty,
Ts gwine to lay out on an ant hill all
night, preference to goin' home to muh
fam'bly. By de blessin' o de Lawd,
ants don't talk!" Tom P. Morgan, in
Puck.
If One Is Cautious.'
,
Home is a restful sort of place
where we may all say Just what we
please If we are discreet about It
Galveston News.
The Pangs of Love.
"It's a dreadful thing to be In love,"
said Mr. Despairing Swain. "I have
a heartache that would fill three hos
pitals and then some."
Would Bs Here
A law Is to be passed in France ex
empting wives from obeying their hus
bands. Isn't this a work of super
rotfatloat
CAME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE.
Declaration That Put a Sudden End to
Traveler's Yarns.
One of the occupants of a railway
carriage was a gentleman who be
guiled the time by telling some rather
"tall yarns" of his experience abroad.
A solemn looking individual, with a-
camera and a tripod, sat in a corner
seat and listened without a shadow of
a smile. The traveler, having con
cluded an impressive story, says Lon
don Punch, began again: "I never
see a camera but it reminds me of a
sad occurrence that befell a friend of
mine while we were traveling in Italy.
He was an enthusiastic amateur
photographer, and when wen climbed
Vesuvius nothing would satisfy him
but a near view of the crater. He
wanted to go to the very edge. The
guides told him of the danger. It
was the last seen of my poor friend!
Sad, wasn't it, sir?" he added, turning
to the solemn man. The latter shook
his head. "Do you doubt my word?"
said the traveler. "No," returned the
solemn man, "I don't doubt your word,
but I fancy your memory is failing."
"Eh? How so?" "Because," said the
solemn man, slowly and gravely, "be
cause I am the man! And yet you don't
remember me! I came out again on
.the other side of the globe but I got
my view!" There was dead silence
for a few minutes afterward, and the
traveler got off at the next station.
Not All Song.
Possibly all of the joys m the choir
were not melodious; and it is possible
there was not an overplus of melody
in the whole outfit, but it was mighty
pleasant to be there.
Maybe she was there she whose
presence was a world of satisfaction.
And, maybe, you was to her the dear
est thing in sight Maybe so.
And who knows but she is nudg
ing you as she reads this to you. But
she hardly need do so, for the mention
of the old choir in which she and you
sang is enough to start the whole
troop of pleasant memories into life,
and cause them to hasten to answer
your calL
Or, maybe you read it alone with no
one to nudge, or to join you in the en
joyment of the grand review. But if
you ever sang in the choir you will
have a living moving memory, picture
show all to yourself, nor none the less,
or hardly less, enjoyable, for it will
come in ahead of the scenes that in
vaded your later years, and before
care had fastened itself like a burden
upon you and made life a weariness
more or less.
Why not go back and enjoy the priv
ileges of the choir as of old. Who shall
say you nay? Pittsburg Gazette
Times. Honor Discoverer of Radium.
A woman has just been elected to
the head professorship of physics in
the University of Paris. In this ap
pointment the university has honored
itself, for the Individual is known
throughout the world as one of the
discoverers of radium. She is Mme.
Marie Curie, who with her husband
revealed the new element to the world
in 1898. In 1900 she was appointed to
take charge of all the advanced classes
in the Superior Normal school at
Sevres, being the first woman to hold
a full scientific professorship in
France. She now takes the chair
which was filled by her husband at the
time of his death two years ago. Radi
um was obtained by the Curies from
pitchblende, after the most patient and
exacting labors Imaginable. Its most
characteristic quality is its power of
giving off beat radiations without com
bustion or chemical change, and with
out any appreciable decrease in its en
ergy. Combination Bank a Novelty.
One of the recent novelties patented
is a combined clock and savings bank,
designed by a Chicago man. Why a
savings bank and a clock should be
combined will not at once be apparent.
The idea would seem ridiculous, as
these two articles have no apparent
relationship. The purpose of the in
ventor has merely been to Increase the
usefulness of the savings bank and as
sure that It will be constantly em
ployed. He accomplishes this by re
quiring the deposit of a coin in the
bank before the clock can be wound.
Unless the coin Is deposited the clock
becomes useless. The amount of the
coin deposited is controlled by the size
of the slot in the savings bank. The
number of deposits can also be in
creased by requiring a daily winding
of the clock. In this way a certain
sum must be added to the bank each
day previous to each winding of the
clock.
UNION PACIFIC
TIME TABLE
WEST BOUND.
No. 11 2.37 am
No. IS 11:19 am
No.l 1129am
No. 9 11:19 am
No. 7 3:19 pm
No. 15 6:10 pm
No. 3 6:40 pm
No. 5 7:15 pm
No. 59". 7 .-00 am
No. 63 50 pm
EAST BOUND.
No. 4 6.-05 am
No. 12 4:30 am
No.l4al2:25d 1.40 pm
No. 6 2:18 pm
No. 16 2:52 pm
No.' 10 3:12 pm
No. 8 6:14 pm
No. 2 7:15 pm
No. 60 5:20 am
No. 64 50 am
BRANCHES.
KOBFOLK.
No. 77 mzd. d 60 a m
No. 29 pas ..d 7:25pm
No. 30 pas ..al2:45pm
No. 78 mxd..a 60 pm
8PALDINO A ALBION.
No. 79 mxd..d 6.05 am
No. 31 pas ..d 1:30 pm
No. 32 pas ..al2J0pm
No. 80 mxd..a 7 .-00 p m
Daily except Sunday.
rote:
Noa. 1, 2, 7 and 8 are extra fare trains.
Noa. 4, 5, 13 and 14 are local passengers.
Noa. 58 and 59 are local freights.
Noa. 9 and 16 are mail trains only.
No. 14 dne in Omaha 4:45 p. m.
No. 6 dne in Omaha 50 p. m.
WHY NOT TRY
THE PACIFIC HOTEL
COLUMBUS. NEB.
The big brick hotel one and one
half blocks south of west depot cross
ing. 25 rooms at 35c; 20 rooms at 50c;
meals. 25c,
HARRY MISSEUIM, Pniiiitir
f0
MANY QUEER AIDS TO MEMORY.
Simple Devices Resorted to by People
Whe Cant Remember.
Manv and varied are the methods-
to which busy men have recourse in
order to keep their memory "peeled."
Very simple is the mnemonical, sys
tem of a well-known journalist, who
merely ties a small piece of ribbon
round his walking stick. Many a
benedict has a penchant for tying his
handkerchief into a series of knots to
remind him of the numerous little do
mestic duties he has faithfully promised-
to perform during the day.
A very successful plan Is that of a
shrewd business man, who has re
course to the use of pepper or snuff
to jog his memory. A liberal dose
spread over his handkerchief greets
his olfactory nerves whenever he ex
tracts It from his pocket, and, as he
himself says, "that reminds me."
Very effective Is the method adopt
ed by some astute people who place
their finger rings on their keyring. By
this means they are not only remind
ed of something by the absence of
their rings from their hands but every
time they use their keys the fact is
forced upon their attention. There Is
one old government clerk who is an
amusement to all the juniors. When
he has any matter of urgent impor
tance to attend to in the morning he
invariably ties two of his fingers to
gether with a small piece of red tape.
CRITICISM OF "PRAYING MAN."
Great Preacher Saw Little Virtus In
Certain Forms of Appeal.
When men begin their prayers with
"Oh, thou omnipotent omniscient, om-nl-present
all-seeing, ever-living,
blessed potentate. Lord God Jehovah!"
I should think they would take breath.
Think of a man in his family, hurried
for his breakfast, praying in such a
strain! He has a note coming due,
and it is going to be paid to-day, and
he feels buoyant; and he goes down
on his knees like a cricket on the
hearth and piles up these majestically
moving phrases about God. Then he
goes on to say that he is a sinner; he
is proud to say that he Is a sinner.-
Then he asks for his daily bread. He
has it; and he can always ask for it
when he has it Then he jumps up
and goes over to the city. He comes
back at night and goes through a
similar wordy form of "evening pray
ers;" and he Is called "a praying
man." A praying man? I might as
well call myself an ornithologist be
cause I eat a chicken once in a while
for dinner. Henry Ward Beecher.
The Auctioneer's Hourglass.
An auctioneer of Philadelphia col
lects all sorts of objects pertaining
to his ancient calling. He has, among
other things, an interesting set of auc
tioneer's hourglasses.
The auctioneer, a century or so ago,
concluded a sale, not by saying "Go
ing going gone!" and rapping the
counter with his hammer, but it was
his better method to turn up a free
running glass toward the end of the
bidding, and to end the sale irrevoca
bly when the sands ran out This
saved confusion and dispute.
The auctioneer's glasses In the
Philadelphia collection are pictur
esque. One is of tortoise shell and
mother of pearl. Another is of amber
and gold. A third is of teak and
ivory.
At the Opera.
"You see some queer things at the
opera now and then," the operagoer re
marked. "Now, last night, for in
stance, at 'Samson and Delilah.' You
know they cut off Samson's hair and
dress him in rags and let a little pau
per child as poorly dressed as he
bring him on the stage and pull the
house down. Well, then that little
pauper child puts her arms around
Samson's neck to comfort him when
they have finished giving him the
merry ha! ha! a diamond ring about
as big as a bird's egg is blazing on her
little finger." New, York Times.
Censoring the Mail.
"It is strange there is no mail for
me," remarked Mrs. Instyle. "Yes,
dear, quite 6trange," acquiesced Mr.
Instyle.
Then, as she stepped into the other
room, he chucked three fashion maga
zines, four patterns, a skirt catalogue,
a cloak catalogue, a Jewelry catalogue
and a letter from "The Royal Lady
Tailors" into the fire.
"Two hundred dollars saved!" he
chuckled, and became so well pleased
with himself that he set aside one
tenth the amount for cigars. Judge.
Sardou's Quip.
"VIctorlen Sardou hated shams," said
a New York theatrical manager. "If
.you tried to impose on him, he would
call you down.
"At the Ambigu during a rehearsal
he said he doubted an actor's state
ment that he had given 40 hours of
study to his lines.
"You doubt me?' said the actor,
hotly. T assure you, Mons. Sardou, I
nave never lied but twice In my life.'
"Sardou smiled dryly.
" 'Then this makes thrice, eh?' said
he." .
What Counts in a Story.
As I heard a famous raconteur tell
ing a story I bad heard in one form
or another for many years I could not
but recall the statement of some one
to the effect that there are but five
stories extant and that all we have
are merely variations from' the orig
inal five.
As Sen. Taylor, who Is something of
a story-teller himself, puts it: "The
story doesn't amount to anything. It's
the edition that counts." N
Think It Over.
When you avail yourself of an op
portunity to get even with a man you
furnish him with a desire to get back
at you.
Censorship.
To exercise a censorship of the
press is to exercise a monopoly of
calumny. Benjamin Constant
Ocean Depths Rich in Radium.
Deep-lying sediments of the ocean
ar fftea exceptionally rich U radium.
BRANIGAN'S
m
Columbus - - Nebraska
Will be held on the
following dates:
Monday. March 15, 1909
Monday, March 29, 1909
Monday, April 12, 1909
Monday, April 26, 1909
I always have from 200 to 250 horses for
every sale, besides a number of good spans
of mules and farm mares, and have sold
every horse that was in condition at every
sale this season. Parties selling horses in
my sales should be in by 10 o'clock in order
to get them listed.
Anyone wishing to get their names on
my mailing list can have it by sending me
your name and address.
THOS. BRANIGAN
Columbus, Neb.
IRVING THE ABSTEMIOUS ONE.
Poet Had Forgotten Finishing Bottle
of Port Himself.
It was while Irving was rehearsing
"Becker that he told a story of Ten
nyson that has both pathetic and hu
morous significance. In the earlier
days, when "The Cup" was In prepar
ation, he had been to see Tennuyson
in the Isle of Wight to discuss his
Ideas for its presentation. After din
ner the dessert and wine were set
out upon a separate table and when
they were seated the poet asked Irv
ing if he would like a glass of port.
"Yes. I like a glass of port," replied
the actor.
Upon which Tennyson, taking him
at his word, poured him out a glass
of port and, all unconsciously, fin
ished the remainder of the bottle him
self. Next morning the actor had to leave
and had therefore taken leave of his
host overnight. But he had scarcely
awakened when he saw Lord Tenny
son sitting at the foot of his bed.
"How are you this morning?' he
inquired, anxiously.
"Very well, indeed," was the guest's
reply.
"Are you?" came the response, with
just a tinge of doubt In the tones
of the voice. "You drank a lot of port
last night."
That was Tennyson's way of re
penting after a bottle of port!
East for Their Ancestors.
The Chinese are rapacious eaters at
the feasts which are given in honor
of their ancestors. At these feasts the
tables groan with all the good things
which the most efficient cooks can
provide pork, snow white rice, pick
led cucumbers, chickens, ducks and
bird's nest soup. For some minutes
before the feast the six or seven hun
dred men sit at the tables in silence.
Then at a given signal begin the clink
ing of chopsticks and the noisftof
indrawn breaths by which the Chi
NORTH THEATRE
Coming
PRESIDENT
ROOSEVELT
Said,
"You will learn
the root princi
ples of self-help
and helpfulness
towards others
from MRS.
WIGGS OF
THE CABBAGE
PATCH just as
much as from
any formal treat
ise on charity."
Uffljdp'
OF THE
PATCH
MONDAY, MARCH 8
Prices. 50c, 75o. tl.OO. il 50
IE
nese cool the hot mouthfuls of rice
which they shovel down their throats.
Presently, when the hot samshu be
gins to work and the faces become
Husked, a babel of voices nils the
temple.
Irish Witty Before Foe.
Col. Nugent, commanding officer of
the Irish guards, at the annual dinner
of the Windsor and Eton chamber ot
commerce, told a story of an Irish
soldier in the last war.
At dusk of a day throughout which
they had been lying under heavy fire,
an officer crawled up with orders for
the battalion to assault, upon which
the Irishman got up, shook himself
and said: "And whoy not?"
On another occasion when a man
screamed at the loss of a finger on
the battlefield a sergeant shouted to
him: "Hold yer row, yer cowardly
skut; there's a mon over there who's
lost his head, and he hasn't said a
word." "
The Decorations.
The housekeeping bride was partic
ular to keep a flower or two in a vase
on the dining-room table. One after
noon she came in late and started
to arrange some roses when her col
ored maid exclaimed:
"Oh. you got some, did you? I was
afraid you'd forget, seeing it was so
late, and I knowed we bad to have
something green; so I just fixed it."
The bride went into the dining
room. In the center of the mahogany
table stood one of her handsomest
vases full of romaine salad leaves.
Too Literal.
They tell of an Atchison man who
was going down street with a girL
She was one of the kind who believe3
in the power of the gentle hint, and.
as they passed a candy store, she
said: "Doesn't that candy smell
good?"
"Yes,'' the man replied; "let's stop
here and smell it awhile." Atchison
Globe.
With Smiles for You fill
5th Year in America
3M Times in London
'V
A dramatization of Alice Hegan Rice's Charming stories
made by Anne Crawford Flexner
MANAGEMENT LIEBLER & COMPANY
A
. 41
VI
i ..' i
T'-' "-.'T
''Z&aojtap .