The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, February 10, 1909, Image 3

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7 Enjoy
the full confidence of the Well-Infonnsd
of the World and the Commendation of
the most eminent physicians it was essen
tial that the component parts of Syrup
-of Figs and Elixir of Senna should be
known to and approved by them; there
fore, the California Fig Syrup Co. pub
lishes a full statement with every package
The perfect purity and uniformity of pro
duct, which they demand in a laxative
xemedy of an ethical character, arc assured
"by the Company's original method of man
ufacturc known to the Ccmpany only.
The figs of California are used in the
production of Syrup of Figs and Elixir of
Senna to promote the pleasant taste, but
the medicinal principles 'arc obtained from
plants known to act most beneficially.
To get its beneficial effects always buy
the genuine manufactured by the Cali
fornia Fig Syrup Co. only, and for sale
by all leading druggists.
r Ha MHRai W
"Have your poems been read by
nany peopla?"
"Certainly about twenty publishers
that I know of."
And Suffered Annually with a Red
Scald-Like Humor on Her Head.
Troubles Cured by Cuticura.
"When my little Vivian was about
six months old her head broke out in
boils. She had about sixty in all and
1 used Cuticura Soap and Cuticura
Ointment which, cured her entirely.
Some time later a humor broke out be
hind her ears and spread up on to
her head until it was nearly half cov
crcrl. The humor looked like a scald,
very red with a sticky, clear fluid com
ing from it. This occurred every
spring. I always used Cuticura Soap
and Ointment which never failed to
heal it up. The last time it broke
tu. it became so bad that I was dis
couraged. But I continued the use o
Cuticura Soap, Ointment and Resol
vent until the was well and has never
been troubled in the last two years.
Mrs. M. A. Schwerin, C74 Spring Wells
Ave.. Detroit, Mich., Feb. 24. 1908."
IUer Drug & Chcni. Corp., Solo Plops., Boston.
Looking Forward.
Mr. Wiggins, being in a frivolous
mood, was giving a burlesque imita
tion of palmistry pretending to
read his wife's fortune in her palm.
Six-year-old Ruth was listening with
intense seriousness, but neither of
them was noticing her.
"And, finally," he concluded, after
the usual recitals about a dark man, a
light man, a journey, and a large for
tune, "you will live to a great age."
"Thank God!" broke in Ruth, clap
ping her hands ecstatically. "Then my
children will have a grandmother!"
Come Get Your Medicine.
If that little bit of three-coniered,
ialf-jointed, pin-headed squirt with a
big automobile and a size three head
on his miserable, slanting shoulders,
who turned the corner of Ferry and
IVIain streets on two wheels the other
ofternoon, and nearly sent three pedes
trians into Kingdom Come, will call
at this office we'll tear his scrawny
soul to pieces and lick him to a "fraz
zle" after the most approved Roose
veltian methods. He knows who we
mean. Ruffalo News.
Enforced Economy.
A friend of Pat's was caught in a
shower near his cottage and asked
shelter from the elements. Pat opened
the door. One of the first tilings the
friend saw was rain coming steadily
through a hole in the roof.
"Pat. boy," said he, "for why don't
ye fix th' hole in th' roof?"
"The hole in the roof, is it?" asked
Pat, spearing for an excuse. "Oh. yis.
1 would, ye know, but whin th rain
is comin' in 1 can't fix it, an' whin it
don't rain it don't need fixin'."
But a Change of Food Gave Relief.
Many persons are learning that
drugs are not the thing to rebuild
worn out nerves, but proper food is
There Is a certain element in th
cereals, wheat, barley, etc., which is
grown there by nature for food to brain
and nerve tissue. This is the phos
phate of potash, of which Grape-Nuts
food contains a large proportion.
In making this food all the food ele
,, ments in the two cereals, wheat and
barley, are retained. That is why so
many heretofore nervous and run down
people find in Grape-Nuts a true nerve
and brain food.
ul can say that Grape-Nuts food has
done much for me as a nerve renew
er," writes a Wis. bride.
"A few years ago, before my mar
riage, I was a bookkeeper in a large
firm. I became so nervous toward the
end of each week that it seemed I
must give up my position, which I
could not afford to do.
"Mother purchased some Grape-Nnts
and we found it not only delicious but
I noticed from day to day that I was
improving until I finally realized I was
net nervous any more.
"I have recommended it to friends
as a brain and nerve food, never hav
ing found its equal. I owe much to
Grape-Nuts as it saved me from a
nervous collapse, and enabled me to
retain my position."
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Well
ville,". in pkgs. "There's a Reason."
Ever read tfce above letter? A mew
erne appears from time to time. They
are Kntoiar, me, u xtui ! m
Special Message of President of Utmost Inter
est to Farmers.
Urges Tliftt Social as Well as Productive Side of Farm Life
Be Built Uf-Work for the Federal
Washington With the report of
the country lifo commission President
Roosevelt sent the following mes
sage to both houses of congress:
To th Senate and House of Represent
atives: I transmit herewith the report
of the commission on country life. At
the outset I desire to point out that not
a dollar of the public money has been
paid to any commissioner for ills work
on the commission.
The report shows the general condition
of farming life in the open country, and
points out its farser problems; it indi
cates ways in which the Rovernment, na
tional and state, may show the people
how to solve some of these problems: and
it suggests a continuance of the work
which the commission began.
Judging by 20 public hearings, to which
farmers and farmers' wives from 40
states and territories came, and from
120.000 answers to printed questions sent
out by the department of agriculture,
the commission rinds that the general
level of country life is high compared
with uny preceding time or with any oth
er land. If it has in recent years slipped
down in some places, it has risen in more
places. Its progress has been general, if
not uniform.
Yet farming does not yield either the
profit or the satisfaction that it ought
to yield, and may be made to yield. There
is discontent in the country, and in places
discouragement. Farmers as a class do
not magnify their calling, and the move
ment to the towns, though, I am happy
to say, less than formerly, is still strong.
Under our system, it is helpful to pro
mote discussion of ways in which the
people can help themselves. There are
three main directions in which the farm
ers can help themselves: namely, better
farming, better business and better living
on the farm. The national department of
agriculture, which has rendered service
equaled by no other similar department
In any other time or place; the state
departments of agriculture: the state col
leges of agriculture and the mechanical
arts, especially through their extension
work; the state agricultural experiment
stations: the Farmers' union; the Grange;
the agricultural press; and other similar
agencies: have nil combined to place with
in the reach of the American farmer an
amount and quality of agricultural infor
mation, which. If applied, would enable
him, over large areas, to double the
production of the farm.
For Better Business and Living.
The object of the commission on coun
try life, therefore. Is not to help the
farmer raise better crops, but to call his
attention to the opportunities for better
business and better living on the farm.
If country life is to become what it
should be. and what I believe It ultimate
ly will be one of the most dignified, de
sirable, and sought-after ways of earn
a living the farmer must take advan
tage not only of the agricultural knowl
edge which is at his disposal, but of the
methods which have raised and continue
to raise the standards of living and in
telligence in other callings.
Those engaged in all other Industrial
and commercial callings have found it
necessary, under modern economic con
ditions, to organize themselves for mu
tual advantage and for the protection of
thir own particular interests in rela
tion to other interests. The farmers of
every progressive European country have
realized this esesntial fact and have
found in the co-operative system exactly
the form of business combination they
Now, whatever the state may do to
ward Improving the practice of agri
culture, it is not within the sphere of
any government to reorganize the farm
era' business or reconstruct the social
life of farming communities. It is, how
ever, quite within its power to use its
Influence and the machinery of publicity
which It can control for calling public at
tention to the needs of the facts. For ex
ample, it Is the obvious duty of the gov
ernment to call the attention of farmers
to the growing monopolization of water
power. The farmers, above all. should
have that power, on reasonable terms, for
cheap transportation, for lighting their
homes, and for innumerable uses in the
daily tasks of the farm.
Necessity for Co-Operation.
It Is true that country life has improved
greatly in attractiveness, health and com
fort, and that the farmer's earnings are
higher than they were. But city life is
advancing even more rapidly, because of
tlie greater attention which is being given
by the citizens of the towns to their own
betterment. For just this reason the in
troduction of effective agricultural co
operation throughout the United States is
of the first importance. Where farmers
are organized co-operatively they not
only avail themselves much more read
ily of business opportunities and im
proved methods, but it is found that the
organizations which hring them together
In the work of their lives are used also
for social and intellectual advancement.
The co-operative plan is the best plan
of organization wherever men have the
right spirit to carry it out. Under this
plan any business undertaking is man
aged by a committee: every man has
one vote, and only one vote; and every
one gets profits according to what he
sells or buys or supplies. It develops In
dividual responsibility and has a moral
as well as a financial value over any
other plan.
I desire only to take counsel with the
farmers as fellow-citizens. It is not the
problem of the farmers alone that I am
dismissing with them, but a problem
which affects every city as well as every
farm in the country. It Is a problem
which the working farmers will have to
solve for themselves: but it is a problem
which also affects in only less degree all
the rest of us. and therefore If we can
render any help toward Its solution. It is
not only our duty but our interest to do
Work to Help the Farmers.
The commission has tried to help the
farmers to see clearly their own prob
lem and to see it as a whole: to distin
guish clearly between what the govern
ment can do and what the farmers must
do for themselves: and it wishes to bring
not only the farmers, but the nation as
a whole, to realize that the growing of
crops, though an essential part. Is only
a part of country life. Crop growing is
the essential foundation, but it is no
less essential that the farmer shall get
an adequate return for what he grows:
and it is no less essential indeed, it is
literally vital that he and his wife and
his children shall lead the right kind
of life.
For this reason, it is of the first im
portance that the United States depart
Take the Extra
Men of Science See Danger in Arising
Too Early.
We have been imposed upon, it
seems. Early to bed, early to rise,
makes a man nervous, grouch-, sub
ject to insomnia, and a neurasthenic.
After suffering all these years from
the homilies of the early-rising maniac,
this news is welcome. When next the
fiend presents himself at the bedside,
ment of agriculture, through which as
prime agent the ideas the commission
stands for must reach the people, should
become without delay in fact a depart
ment of country life, fitted to deal not
only with crops, but also with all the
larger aspects of life in the open country.
From all that has been done and
learned three great general and immedi
ate needs of country life stand out:
First, effective co-operation among
farmers, to put them on a level with the
organized interests with which they do
Second, a new kind of schools In the
country, which shall teach the children
as much outdoors as indoors and per
haps more, so that they will prepare for
country life, and not as at present, main
ly for life in town.
Third, better means of communication.
Including good roads and a parcels post,
which the country people are everywhere,
and rightly, unanimous in demanding.
To these may well be added better san
itation; for easily preventable diseases
hold several million country people in the
slavery of continuous ill health. ,
Duty of the Government.
The commission points out. and I con
cur in the conclusion, that the most Im
portant help that the government, wheth
er national or state, can give is to show
the people how to go about these tasks
St organization, education and communi
cation with the best and quickest results.
This can be done by the collection and
spread of Information. One community
can thus be informed of what other com
munities have done, and one country of
what other countries have done. Such
help by the people's government would
lead to a comprehensive plan of organi
zation, education and communication, and
make the farming country better to live
in. for intellectual and social reasons as
well as for purely agricultural reasons.
The only recommendation I submit is
that an appropriation of $23,000 be pro
vided, to enable the commlslson to digest
the material it has collected, and to col
lect and to digest much more that is
within its reach, and thus complete its
work. This would enable the commis
sion to gather in the harvest of sug
gestion which is resulting from the dis
cussion it has stirred up. The commis
sioners have served without compensa
tion, and I do not recommend any ap
propriation for their services, but only
for the expenses that will be required
to finish the task they have begun.
To Develop Country Community.
To improve our system of agriculture
seems to me the most urgent of the tasks
which lie before us. But it cannot, in
my judgment, be effected by measures
which touch only the material and tech
nical side of the subject; the whole busi
ness and life of the farmer must also
be taken Into account. Such considera
tions led me to appoint the commission
on country life. Our object should be
to help develop in the country commu
nity the great ideals of the community
life as well as of personal character. One
of the most important adjuncts to this
end must be the country church, and I
invite your attention to what the com
mission says of the country church and
of the need of an extension of such work
as that of the Young Men's Christian as
sociation In country communities. Let
me lay special emphasis upon what the
commission says at the very end of its
report on personal ideas and local leader
ship. Everything resolves itself In the
end into the question of personality.
Neither society nor government can do
much for country life unless there Is vol
untary response in the personal ideals
of the men and women who live in the
country. In the development of charac
ter, the! home should be more important
than the school, or than society at large.
When once the basic material needs have
been met. high ideals may be quite in
dependent of income: but they cannot be
realized without sufficient income to pro
vide adequate foundation; and where the
community at large is not financially
prosperous it is impossible to develop a
high -average personal and community
ideal. In short, the fundamental facts
of human nature apply to men and wom
en who live in the country just as they
apply to men and women who live in the
towns. Given a sufficient foundation of
material well being, the influence of the
farmers' wives on their children be
comes the factor of first importance in
determining the attitude of the next gen
oration toward farm life. The farmer
should realize that the person who most
needs consideration on the farm is his
wife. I do not in the least mean that she
should purchase ease at the expense of
duty. Neither man nor woman is really
happy or really useful save on condition
of doing his or her duty. If the wom
an shirks her duty as housewife, as
home keeper, as the mother whose prime
function is to bear and rear a sufficient
number of healthy children, then she is
not entitled to our regard. But if she
does her duty she is more entitled to our
regard even titan the man who does
his duty: and the man should show spe
cial consideration for her needs.
Welfare of Nation at Stake.
I warn my countrymen that the great
recent progress made in city life is not
a full measure of our civilization; for our
civilization rests on the wholesomeness,
the attractiveness, and the completeness,
as well as the prosperity, of life in the
country. The men and women on the
farms stand for what is fundamentally
best and most needed in our American
life. Upon the development of country
lift rests ultimately our ability, by meth
ods of farming requiring the highest in
telligence, to continue to feed and clothe
the hungry nations; to supply the city
with fresh blood, clean bodies, and clear
brains that can endure the terrific strain
of modern life; we need the development
of men in the open country, who will be
in the future, as in the past, the stay
and strength of thu nation in time of
war. and its guiding and controlling spir
it in time of peace.
The White House. February 9, 1309.
Joel Chandler Harris Memorial.
The Juvenile Protective association
of Atlanta is to have charge of the
Uncle Remus Home for" Children, to
be established as a memorial to Joel
Chandler Harris near Atlanta. The
site for the institution has been given
to the association a"nd much of the
money necessary for the buildings has
already been collected. The institu
tion is to be known as a juvenile state.
It will contain a school, a gymnasium
and mechanical workshop.
Forty Winks
disguised as an alarm clock, and
armed with a panoply of proverbs, he
may be put to rout by two shafts of
scientific authority one from Dr.
Savary, who told the members of the
French Academy that early rising is
most likely to drive a man insane;
the other from Dr. Forbes Ross of
London, who comes on the scene with
the awful warning that persons with
weak hearts who have jumped up,
Jo pzA m j?'
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The Gettysburg Address, Notember 19, 1863. Facsimile of
the Original First Version.
Centenary of Lincoln's
Birth Is Appropriately
Remembered by Country
Worthily have the American people
Joined in an appropriate celebration
of the Lincoln centenary, and extend
ed it to the
r e m o t -est
of the land.
The 12th
of this
month i s
the one
h u n dredth
a n n i -versary
the birth of
L i n
coln. That
date is ob-
rcftrroH vrith
and yet
tul ceremony by the whole American
people, who owe more to Lincoln than
to any other citizen of the republic,
save only Washington.
Lincoln is, after Washington, the
greatest figure in our national his
lory. Xo other man performed serv
ces so great as his. or was so high
a character. His conduct during the
trying days of the civil war, when the
union that had been founded with
high hopes for human liberty seemed
destined to be destroyed, was such
as to appear inspired by a power
greater than human, and many an
American has thanked God in his
nightly prayers that so wise, gentle,
forbearing a leader had been raised
up by divine direction to guide the
country to safety. His death was a
great calamity, not less to the south
than to the north; for. if Lincoln had
been spared, his qualities of heart and
mind would have made the task of
reconstruction much easier than it
proved " and would have healed the
wounds of war much sooner.
The south will join with the north
in observing Lincoln's one hundredth
birthday, for now, in these latter days
his memory is as deeply beloved south
of Mason and Dixon's line as north of
it The celebration is worthy to be
remembered as an expression of the
gratitude and affection of a great peo
ple. When we once resolve to lay aside
desire to make of Lincoln's life and
words an arsenal from which to draw
weapons with which to right for spe
cial causes, and consider with quiet
thought Abraham Lincoln as all Amer
icans know he was, we find the ma
terials ample.
We see Abraham Lincoln as a home
ly, kindly, patient man, who loved
his country as men love their mothers.
We see him seeking the welfare of all
that mother's sons because he was
one of them. We see him working
humbly and patiently under burdens
such as no American before, save
awakening early, have sometimes
fallen back dead. Defy the alarm
clock, therefore. Science has spoken.
Ninety per cent, of the early risers
end .by suffering from insomnia, says
science. Rarely do science and in
clination so coincide. When they do,
the opportunity ought not to be
Self-Made Men.
AH men who achieve anything mus;
be self-made. No accident of" birth
or wealth can make any of the sons
'Tfr'M ill VBi
Csttttfttt iffitoit.
Washington, and none since, has been
called upon to bear.
We see him always charitable, real
izing that in this human world men
are moved by all sorts of motives,
and appealing to all motives that in
honesty and honor he could, asking
only that the results of the appeals
be acts helping to save and restore
to peace the nation mother.
And so Abraham Lincoln wrought
with the tools at hand, never com
plaining of their human Imperfections,
using to his great end not
only the noblest aspirations of
the best
but every
force of hu
man desire,
and thus de
livering a
race from
b o n d -age
and sav
ing a nation
because he
"with mal
ice toward
none and
with charity
for all."
An Incident, Hitherto Unrecorded, of
Lincoln's Trust.
As illustrative of Mr. Lincoln's su
perb faith, I will give an instance that
I have never seen in print, says a
writer in the Century Magazine. In
the largest room in the White House,
on the second floor, were gathered a
number of officers of the army, then of
prominence by reason of the com
mands that they held in the field;
many civilians who held no offices, but
who had come from the north to see
Washington and pay their respects to
Mr. Lincoln, and perhaps get contracts
essential to running the government;
and a few members of congress.
At first it appeared more like a
large reception, where after shaking
hands, people stayed to chat with one
another. Not far from Mr. Lincoln a
prominent senator, whom we may call
Senator D , in a strong, deep voice
remarked: "I believe that, if we could
only do right as a people, the Lord
would help us and we should have a
decided success in this terrible strug
ple." Mr. Lincoln, hearing the remark
of the senator, with his clear, shrill
enunciation, cried out: "My feith is
greater than yours."
Everybody turned and looked at the
president, who was head and shoulders
above all those assembled. The sena
tor who had spoken then said: "How
so, Mr. Lincoln?"
"I am confident," said he, "that God
will make us do sufficiently right to
give us the victory."
of men a man. All of us are born
children. Powerless we must remain
to death unless we take the tools at
hand and not only learn to use them,
but .use them, and go on using them
until we have wrought out some work
worth while in the eyes of men.
Everywhere in Ireland are the holy
wells. People as they pray by them
make little piles of stones that will
be counted at the last day and the
prayers reckoned up, or so it is believed.
W ArMEBllB3ftfe?H
tie! ma HOI TO IBM
The experience of the Bisser Bros.
In Western Canada is similar to that
reported to every agent of the Cana
dian Government, whose advertise
ment appears elsewhere:
Wheatwyn, Sask., Nov. 6th 1908.
"To the Commissioner of Immigra
tion, Winnipeg, Manitoba. Dear Sir:
L in company with my brother and
other relations, arrived in this coon-,
try In the spring of 1893. At the time
we got off the train at Wolseley, Sask.,
we had only a Jew dollars, not enough
to start farming on our own account,
so we were compelled to work out for
a considerable time in order to make
sufficient money to enable us to es
tablish" ourselves. When we thought
we had enough money to start' with, I
and my brother took up one quarter
section (160 acres) land each in the
Loon Creek district. In 1900 we moved
on our homesteads with one team qf
horses and one walking plow. While
I was engaged with the work in the
field, my brother built a shack and
barn of logs, which we have hauled
during the time we were not able to
work in the field. We were certainly
working very hard, but I am glad to
say that we made our fortune in this
country. To-day we do not need to
work so hard as we used to, as we
have three men hired steady for
whom we pay $30.00 to 140.00 a month,
besides board and lodging during the
summer time! I am also glad to tell
vou that to-day we are owners of a
section and three-quarters of the best
land, with first class buildings thereon,
besides having all the necessary ma
chinery. We always do our own
threshing, for we have a 22 horse
power threshing outfit
"Our success in farming in this
country also enabled us to get rid of a
number of horses of less value, and
instead we bought 10 pure-bred mares,
representing a value in the neighbor
hood of $5,000.
"Regarding raising grain, which is
the mam factor in our district, I am
proud to say that we have always
had good success. We have raised
wheat as high as 25 bushels to the
acre; and this year, although we suf
fered from lack of sufficient rain, our
wheat went 27 bushels to the acre,
and we had 900 acres in crop. We
have broken this year about 100 acres
new land, and by next year we will
have about 1,110 acres in crop. For
one carload of wheat which we have
shipped a few weeks ago we got a
price of 97 cents per bushel, and it
graded as No. 2 Northern, although we
have a quantity of wheat which will
surely go as No. 1 Northerft. During
the six years we have been farming
for ourselves we have never had one
frost around here, so that we always
had a good crop.
"I, for myself, feel compelled to say
that our Great West is the land where
a person who is willing to work and
trun his hands to anything, can make
a fortune, and a comfortable living.
Our country is a thoroughly free coun
try, and we have a good Government;
and, as long as we have good crops,
and a good Government, we are satis
fied, and I think that is all we want.
"Yours very truly,
"P. O. Wheatwyn, Sask.."
Boy at Least Had Combination Some
where Near Right.
Donald had returned from a visit
to the country, and was full of rem
iniscences of persons and things that
had interested him. "I met a boy,
mamma," he said, "that had the queer
est name I ever heard. He said his
folks found it in the Old Testament.
It was it was- let me see yes, it
was Father William, or William Fa
ther; I've forgotten just now which.
But it was one or the other."
"But, Donald," said his mother,
"there is no such name as Father Wil
liam or William Father in the Old
"Are you sure, mamma?"
"I certainly am, dear. I have read
it through several times. William is a
comparatively modern name. It isn't
anywhere in the Bible."
"Well, but oh, I remember now!"
exclaimed Donald. "It was Bildad!"
Youth's Companion.
Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desifted stiffness, it is usually neces
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou
ble can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of its great
er strength than other makes.
But Soon.
"Come, don't be foolish," said the
pretty young wife, "he's merely an old
flame of mine."
"Indeed!" cried her aged but rich
husband. "I'll warrant you dream
of his tender advances yet."
"No," she replied, with a faraway
look, "not yet." The Catholic Stand
ard and Times.
The chronic borrower depends for
spending money on his friends, and
says: "Why If they didn't lend it, the
chumps would only go and spend it"
The Herb laxative, Garfield Tea, aids
Nature in maintaining the general well-being
of the body; it corrects constipation,
purifies the blood, brings health.
Occasionally a woman goes to
church for the purpose of ascertaining
how many of her neighbors'don't
the signature of K. W. UROVK. Used the World
orer to Cure Cold in One IJar. 25c
The first time a girl is engaged she
imagines that she is as important as
the heroine in a novel.
Lewis' Single Binder Cigar has a rich
taste. Your dealer or Levj' Factory,
Peoria, 111.
The highwayman has a low way of j
doing things. I
Umbrella Had Long leen Absent from
Its Proper Hall Tree.
"Stories about umbrellas," said ft
Kw Virlr nticalotan arhon that TtOAfnl
j article was the subject of discussion,
! "are as numerous as fish' stories, and
often test just, as severely tho
credulity of those who' listen to them.
This Is a true one: A, patient tele
phoned an hour after he had been at
say office one morning that he had left
his umbrella on the hall rack; would I
see that it was kept for him? My
servant found it, and that evening
while we were at dinner he ca'led, got
the umbrella nad came in to thank me.
There he told a long story as to how
he valued the umbrella because he ha
carried it a long time, and it was just
the right weight and showed a dent
in the silver handle which had been
made by his little boy when he used It
as a hockey stick. I saw my wife
smile while the story was being told.
She understood my wink, however,
and we said nothing. But when the
man had gone away with the umbrella
under his arm we laughed, for we had
recognized the umbrella which I had
carried out and never brought back
more than three years ago."
"I am glad that Washington's
birthday Is a holiday; it gives me
chance to lie in bed in the morning."
"George wouldn't like to have you
celebrate his birthday by lying."
The following ia a never failing
recipe for rheumatism. To one-half
pint of good whiskey add one ounce
syrup 'sarsaparilla and one ounce
Toris compound, which can be pro
cured of any druggist, Take in tea
spoonful doses before each meal and
before retiring.
Boston Profanity.
Katy, aged five, and a resident ol
America's seat of culture, ran to her
father one morning, exclaiming:
"Father, brother George swore."
"Swore, did he?" inquired the par
ent, grimly, reaching for the slipper.
"What did he say?"
"He said 'ain't,'" responded Katy,
solmenly. Success Magazine.
Try Marine Eye Ree4y
For Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes.
Compounded by Experienced Physicians.
Conforms to the Pure Food and Drugs
Law. Murine Doesn't Smart. Soothes Eye
Pain. Try Murine for Your Eyes.
A good son Is a good brother, good
husband, good father, good kinsman,
good friend, good neighbor and good
citizen. Chinese proverb.
Asthmatics, Read This.
If you are afflicted with Asthma write
me at once and learn of something for
which you will he grateful the rest of
your life. J. G. McBnde. Stella. Nebr.
On the spot where the first white
settlers of Seattle first set foot. Alkl
Point, has been built the South Alkl
Congregational church.
A good honest remedv for Rheumatism,
Neuralgia and Sore Throat in liamlins
Wizard Oil. Nothing will so quickly drive
out all pain and inflammation.
You can not learn to be a dramatic
critic by reading the Acts. '
PAZO OINTMENT Is guaranteed to euro any raM
of Itching. Blind. Bleeding or lro trading Pllea la
6 to It days or money refunded. 60c
Even a girl has no use for the other
side of a mirror.
" to handle stocks of
high grade corporations ntuler a guarantee
plan. Every fehare in.iuretl and guaranteed
against loss.
5th Floor Bradbury Building,
Loa Angeles, Calif.
Stocks Insured. Bonds Matured.
Omaha Directory
by mall at cut price. Send for free catalogue
M. Spiesberger & Son Co.
Wholesalt Millinery
The Best in the West
Millions ladt Hippy
Wonderful but true, no more fanurtown
orcitr home need bewltboata bathroom,
front the want of a mer, water and heat
In? system.
Tbe Alien Portable Bath Appar
atus t blessed onenn of water
with, icreatrr cleaiulni; efficiency tban
twenty ir&Hoci. as nl in an ordinary
bathtub. Uel everywhere tiiat water -lata
and praised by thouMtnilf. Think of
It. a bath PcrlVct In Ita aptill-
mtlon.wlth only one gallon
ot water, with the lant drop a
clean and i.nn- aa tlietlrstdrop.
yparLltr.s epray that
clennMM. refrn-ae and Invljr
orattai C'08tonlytCUtotT.ja
ready to ue -crta nothing to
oerate. Portable can h.
turd In any room without a
ltary. Se time, viizsw,
labor and space. The Ideal
Lath room fortownorcountry
homes; at a price within the
reach of every homo that
prlxe cleanllnen. Ask
your hardware ami
furniture dealsrsor them.
If noaicenttn Tourcltr.
nd Tour order to us direct, and It .hall har. oar
prompt attention. All cratnta guaranteed.
Allen Portable Bald Mfg. Goipan
2564 Manderaon Street