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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 21, 1908)
v Si ? - x tr "X--"it;''-r7.:' -" -z. ' V"V ("I " - -1 -ft r r-r " U V SEASIDE SILHOUETTE. A young couple who are very much taken with each other. Willing to Help Him. He had gone to the dry goods store with a bit of dress material which his wife had bidden him to match. I mm very sorry, sir," said the salesman, "but I have nothing exactly like this. The very last remnant was sold this morning." "But I must have it!" exclaimed the husband. "Otherwise, how can I face my wife?" "If you will permit me, sir," Mid the salesman, "I would venture to sug gest that you invite a friend home to dinner with you." Making Sure. Our Freddy is fully endowed with the inquiring mind of youth. Recently he said: "Mamma, who puts the bottle of milk on our front porch every night when we are all asleep?" "Jsn't that a rather foolish ques tion?" his mother answered. "Whom do you suppose?" "Well," said the small Investigator, thouj,htfulIj "I suppose God does, but I'd like to know for sure!" A. M. A. The extraordinary popularity of fine white goods this summer makes the choice of Starch a matter of great im portance. Defiance Starch, being free from all injurious chemicals, is the only one which is safe to use oa fine fabrics. Its great strength as a stiffen er makes half the usual quantity of Starch necessary, with the result of perfect finish, equal to that when the goods were new. Work of Zambesi Missions. A pamphlet recently issued b3 An drew Murray gives a brief survey of missions south of the Zambesi. There are 31 different missionary organiza tions at work, ministering to over 10, 000.000 people. The student volunteer movement in South Africa has put 84 young missionaries In the field since 189G. Asthmatics, Read This. If you are niilictcd with Asthma write me at once ami learn of something for which von will lx grateful the re.-t of jour life. .1. G. McBride, .Stella, Xebr. Many a man's wife goes to church on Sunday without him because he can't persuade her to'stay at home. Lewis' Fingle Hinder straight 5c cigar. Made of extra quality tobacco. Your lealer or Lewis' Factory. Peoria. 111. It isn't necessary for a married man to know his mind. Mm. Window Soothinjr Syrnp. For children teUibiK. eofteu llie cume, reduce In-lUrami-Uou. aliaj 8 jmln, cured wind colli-. 5cubultlo Debtors usually have better memo ries than creditors. FACTS WOMEN LYDIA E. PINKHAM Ko oilier medicine has been so successful in relieving1 the suilering of women or received so many gen uine testimonials as has Jjjdia E. PinkhaiirsVcjrctaWe Compound. In every community you "will find women ivlio have been restored to health by Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg etable Comotmd. Almost every one you meet has cither been bene fited by it, or has friends "who have. In the Pinkham Laboratory at LynnMass., any womanany daymay see the files containing over one mil lion one hundred thousand letters from "women seeking health, and here are the letters in "which they openly state over their own signa tures that they were cured by Lydia E. Pinkham" s Vegetable Compound. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has saved many women from surgical operations. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound is made from roots and herbs, without drugs, and is "whole some and harmless. The reason why Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound is so successful is because it contains in gredients which act directly upon the feminine organism, restoring it to a healthy normal condition. Women who are suffering from those distressing ills peculiar to their sex should not lose sight of these facts' or doubt the ability of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound fco restore their health. FOR SCK I I N jjlv l I Han unsurpassed! Wk REMEDY! M HJD Fbot Cure is an prenyl re- SKV JMj TY-u, hcarssica and tbml and SSiM MSI tuz tifecacss. It goes direct to H tbescatcf lie trocble and qraatBr EaS IR reUcTtjrjealttycondiboc. Mna IgM Ul can eve thdt children Pjo s Core MH Kf2 vrUhpeifrd confidence in incurui HB Hi rowers and freedoei troea ctsatsa. BH BH Far-xxs farLalf acetfary. H H AtaQ&itUdbH RSH Freights Br W. W. JACOBS A Garden Plot (Copyright, Dodd, Head Comjnj.) The able-bodied men of the village were at work, the children were at school singing the multiplication table lullaby, while the wives and mothers at home nursed the baby with one band and did the housework with the other. At the end of the village an old man past work sat at a rough deal table under the creaking signboard of the Cauliflower, gratefully drinking from a mug of ale supplied by a chance traveler who sat opposite him. "It ain't what it was when I was a hoy," quavered the old man, filling his pipe with trembling Angers. "I mind when the grindstone was stuck just outside the winder o' the forge instead q' being one side as it now is; and as for the shop winder It's twice the size it was when I was a young "un." He lit his pipe with the scientific accuracy of a smoker of 60 years standing, and shook his head solemn ly as he regarded his altered birth place. Then his color heightened and his dim eye flashed. "It's the people about 'ere 'as changed more than the place 'as," he said, with sudden fierceness; "there's a set o men about here nowadays as are no good to anybody; reg'lar ras kcls. "But the ar'tfullest and worst man 2n this place and that's saying a good deal, mind you is Bob Pretty. Deep is no word for 'im. There's no way of being up to 'im. It's through 'im that we lost our flower show; and, if you'd like to 'ear the rights o' that, I don't suppose there's anybody in this place as knows as much about it as I do barring Bob hisself that is, but 'e wouldn't tell it to you as plain as I ean. "It was started just after we got our new parson, and Mrs. Pawlett, the par son's wife, 'is name being Pawlett, thought as she'd encourage men to love their 'omes and be better 'us cands by giving a prize even year for best cottage garden. Three pounds was the prize, and a metal tea-pot with writing on it. "Of course some of 'em used to make fun of it, and Bob Pretty was the worst of 'em all. He was always a lazy, good-for-nothing man, and his garden was a disgrace. He'd chuck down any rubbish in it; old bones, old tins, biis of an old bucket, any thing to make it untidy. "It was the day after this one I'm speaking about, the ICthe o' June, that the trouble all began, and it came about in a very eggstrordinary way. George English, a quiet man getting into years, who used when 'e was younger to foller the sea, and whose only misfortin was that 'e was a 'sSU y S ' ' ,. i f.Jr r4 .fv -lm&5C ic. -dS "Not Bad Newt, I 'Ope, Says Bill." Lrother-in-law o' Bob Pretty's, his sister marrying Bob while 'e was at sea and knowing nothing about it, 'ad a letter come from a mate of his who 'ad gone to Australia to live. He'd 'ad letters from Australia before, as we all knew from Miss Wicks at the postoffice, but this one upset him al together. He didn't seem like to know what to do about it "While he was wondering Bill Chambers passed. He always did pass George's 'ouse about that time in the evening, it being on 'Is way 'ome, and he saw George standing at 'is gate with a letter in 'is 'and looking very puzzled. "'Not bad news, I 'ope?' ses Bill, noticing 'is manner, and thinking it was strange. "It was more like a story-book than a letter. George's mate, John Biggs by name, wrote to say that an uncle of his who had just died, on 'is death bed told him that 30 years ago he 'ad i rj -"" EL SUBSCRIBER SACRED TO HIM Might Be Horse Thief, But Foreman Wouldn't Go Back on Him. The Fourth Estate repeats a good story told by "Bob" Davis, on the editorial staff of Munsey's. While Davis was connected with a paper in a rough-and-ready western town, a shab bily dressed stranger walked in one day and asked for some old clothes, al though his own were fairly good. The been in this very village, staying at this 'ere very Cauliflower, whose, beer we're drinking now. In the night,, when everybody was asleep, he got up and went quiet like and buried a bag of 517 sovereigns and one half-sovereign in one of the cottage gardens till 'e could come for, it again. " 'And wot I'm to do about it, Bill,' he ses, T don't know. All the direc tions he gives is, that 'e thinks it was the tenth cottage on the right-'and side of the road, coming down from the Cauliflower. He thinks it's the tenth, but 'e's not quite sure. Do you think I'd better make it known and offer a reward of ten shillings, say, to any one who finds it?" " 'No.' ses Bill, shaking 'is 'ead. "Bill swore he wouldn't tell a soul, and 'e went off 'ome and 'ad his sup per, and then 'e walked up the road to the Cauliflower and back, and then up and back again, thinking over what George 'ad been telling 'im, and noticing, what 'e 'd never taken the trouble to notice before, that 'is very house was the tenth one "from the Cauliflower. "Mrs. Chambers woke up at two o'clock next raorning"and told Bill to L ggTfefcT 3jf t Admiring My Geraniums, Henry? get up further, and then found 'e wasn't there. She was rather sur prised at first, but she didn't think much of it, and thought, what hap pened to be true, that 'e was busy in the garden, it being a light night. She turned over and went to sleep again, and at five when she woke up she could distinctly 'car Bill working 'is 'ardest. Then she went to the winder. "Bill stood up straight and wiped 'is face with his shirt sleeve and started digging again, and then his wife just put something on and rushed downstairs as fast as she could go. '"Have you gone mad?' she ses, half crying. "Bill just stopped to throw a lump of mould at her, and then went on digging till Henery Walker, who nlso thought e 'ad gone mad, and diJn't want to stop 'im too soon, put 'is 'ead over the 'edge and asked 'im the same thing. " Ask no questions and you'll 'ear no lies, ses Bill. "By tea time Bill was dead beat, and that stiff he could 'ardly raise 'is bread and butter to his mouth. "Afore people 'ad done talking about Bill, I'm blest if Peter Smith didn't go and cultivate 'is garden in exactly the same way. The parson and 'is wife was away on their 'oliday, and nobody could say a word. "When Joe Gubbins started digging up 'is garden people began to think they were all bewitched, and I went round to see Henery Walker to tell 'im wot a fine chance ed got, and to remind 'im that I'd put another nine ponce on 'im the night before. All 'e said was: 'More fool you,' and went on digging a 'ole in his garden big enough to put a 'ouse in. "In a fortnight's time there wasn't a garden worth looking at in the place, and it was quite clear there'd be no flower show that year, and of all the siliy, bad-tempered men in the place them as 'ad dug up their pretty gardens was the wust. "It was just a few days before the day fixed for the flower show, and I was walking up the road when I see Joe and Henery Walker and one or two more leaning over Bob Pretty's fence and talking to 'im. "'Going in for the flower show, Bob?' ses Henery, with a wink at us. " 'O' course I am,' ses Bob, 'olding 'is 'ead up; 'my marigolds ought to pull me through,' he ses. '"It's the best-kep' garden in the place,' ses Bob. T ain't afraid o' your new way o cultivating flowers, Bill Chambers. Old-fashioned ways suit me best; I learnt ow to grow flowers from my father." '"You ain't 'ad the cheek to give your name in, Bob?' ses Sam Jones, staring. " 'Admiring my geraniums, Henery?' ses Bob, at last. " 'Where'd you get 'em?' ses Henery. 'ardly able to speak. "'My florist's,' ses Bob, in a off hand manner. "'About two days arter I threw mine over my back fence. ses Henery Walker, speaking very slowly. "'Ho,' ses Bob, surprised. T didn't know you 'ad any geraniums, Henery. I thought you was digging for gravel , this year.' 1 staff contributed, and, to the surprise of every one, the stranger pulled out S and paid for a year's subscription to the paper. Then, having donned the contributed clothing, he hastily departed. He had been gone but a little while when the sheriff came in looking for a horse thief. His de scription fitted the stranger to a nicety. "He was In here," said the foreman, "and- went up the street when he left If you hurry you will "Henery didn't answer 'hn. Not be cause 'e didn't want to, mind yon, but because he couldn't "'Come along, Henery.' ses Bill .Chambers, bursting, 'come and get something to take the taste out of your mouth.' " Tm sorry I can't offer you a flower for your button-'ole, ses Bob, perlite ly, 'but it's getting so near the flower show now I can't afford it. If you chaps only knew wot pleasure was to be 'ad sitting among your innercent flowers, you wouldn't want to go to the public house so often.' "Bill Chambers did a bit o' thinking as they walked up the road, and by and by 'e turns to Joe Gubbins and 'e ses: "'Seen anything o' George English lately, Joe?' "'Yes,' ses Joe. " 'Seems to me we all 'ave,' ses Sam Jones. "None of 'em liked to say wot was in their minds, 'aving all seen George English and swore pretty strong not to tell his secret, and none of 'em liking to own up that they'd been dig ging up their gardens to get money as 'e'd told 'em about But presently Bill Chambers ses: '"Without telling no secrets or breaking no promises, Joe, supposing a certain 'ous was mentioned in a certain letter from forrin parts, wot 'ouse was it?" "'Supposing it was so,' ses Joe, careful, too; 'the second 'ouse count ing from the Cauliflower.' " 'The ninth 'ouse, you mean,' ses Henery Walker, sharply. "'Second 'ouse in Mill Lane, you mean,' ses Sam Jones, wot lived there. "Then they all see 'ow they'd been done, and that they wasn't, in a man ner o' speaking, referring to the same letter. "While they was talking who should come along but George English his self! " 'Evening,' he ses, but none of 'em answered 'im; they all looked at Hen ery to see wot 'e was going to say. "'Wot's up?' ses George, in sur prise. " Gardens,' ses Henery. '"So I've 'eard,' ses George. "He shook 'is 'ead and looked at them sorrowful and severe at the same time. " 'Mark my words,' ses George Eng lish, speaking very slow and solemn, 'there'll be no blessing on it Whoever's made 'is fortune by getting up and digging 'is garden over won't get no real benefit from it. He may wear a black coat and new trousers on Sun day, but 'e won't be 'appy. I'll go and get my little taste o' beer somewhere else,' 'e ses. 'I can't breathe here.' "He walked off before any one could say a word; Bill Chambers dropped 'is pipe and smashed it, Henry Walker sat staring after 'im with 'is mouth wide open, and Sam Jones, who was always one to take advantage, drank 'is own beer under the firm belief that it was Joe's. "'I shall take care that Mrs. Paw lett 'ears o this,' ses Henery, at last. " 'And be asked wot you dug your garden up for,' ses Joe, 'and 'ave to ex plain that you broke your promise to George. Why, she'd talk at us for years and years.' "'And parson 'ud preach a sermon about it, ses Sam; 'where's your sense, Henery?' " 'We should be the Iarfing stock for miles round,' ses Bill Chambers. 'If anybody wants to know, I dug my garden up to enrich the soil for next year, and also to give some other chap a chance of the prize.' "Mrs. Pawlett and the parson came 'ome next day, an 'er voice got that squeaky with surprise it was painful to listen to her. All the chaps stuck to the tale that they'd dug their gar den up to gie the others a chance, and Henery Walker, 'e went further and said it was owing to a sermon on unselfishness wot the curate 'ad preached three weeks afore. He 'ad a nice little red-covered 'ymn-book the next day with 'From a Friend' wrote in it. "All the gardens but one was worse than Bob's The only better garden was Ralph Thomson's, who lived next dcor to 'im, but two nights afore the flower show 'is pig got walking in its sleep. Ralph said it was a mystery to 'im 'ow the pig could ha' got out; it must ha' put its foot through a hole too small for it, and turned the button of its door, and then climbed over a four-fcot fence. He told Bob e wished the pig could speak, but Blob said that that was sinful and unchris tian of 'im. "There was quite a crowd on flower show day following the judges. First of all, to Bill Chambers' astonish ment and surprise, they went to 'is place and stood on the 'eans in 'is garden judging 'em, while Bill peeped at 'em through the kitchen winder 'arf crazy. They went to every gar den in the place, until one of the young ladies got tired of it, and asked Mrs. Pawlett whether they was there to judge cottage gardens or earth quakes. "Everybody 'eld their breaths that evening in the schoolroom when Mrs. Pawlett got up on the platform and took a slip of paper from one of the judges. Then Mrs. Pawlett put 'er glasses on her nose and just read out, short and sweet, that the prize of three sovereigns and a metal teapot for the best-kept cottage garden 'ad been won by Mr. Robert Pretty. "You would 'ardly think that Bob 'ud have the cheek to stand up there and make a speech, but 'e did. He said that if 'e told 'em all 'e'd done to make sure o' the prize they'd be sur prised. He said that 'e'd been like Ralph Thomson's pig, up early and late. "He finished 'is remarks by saying that e was going to give a tea-party up at the Cauliflower to christen the teapot, where 'e'd be pleased to wel come all friends." catch him," Davis was surprised. "Why did you say he went up the street when you saw him go -the other way?" he asked the foreman. "H 1!" retorted the foreman, with freezing dignity, "you wouldn't have me go back on a subscriber, would you?" Marvelous Digestive Powers. The digestive powers of the hyena are extraordinary. One of these ani mals has been known to swallow six large bones without crashing them. WHEN THE TABLES TURNED. Willie Found His Tormentors Then Wanted to Be Friends. Willie Walker was a little 12-year-old chap with red hair and a "crossed" eve. And Willie Walker's father was just a poor carpenter, whose family lived in a simple cottage with unpre tentious surroundings. Therefore, Willie, being a poor boy and not of very pronounced good looks, fell un der the ridicule of most of his fellows at school and about the streets. Wher ever Willie went he was sure to hear some boy's voice call out to hiss: "Hello, Bricktop!" or "Hello, Sandy pate!" or "Hello, there, Crooked Lamp!" And, again, some tormentor would yell out to him as he went along: "Say, does the world look on the bias to you. Sandy Kid?" And Willie, being but a child, had not learned to turn a deaf ear to his tormentors. In fact, he was very much hurt by the epithets hurled at him and was quite unhappy by being the object of ridicule. But in the town where Willie lived were two brothers Syd and Tom Jackson who felt the kindest sym pathy for the carpenter's little cross eyed son and who braved the jeers of the other boys to play with him. To be sure, Willie was not entirely ostra cised by his fellows, but was so often 'made the butt of their ridicule and coarse, painful personalities that he felt he had no genuine friends save Syd and Tom Jackson. And often he refused to go on a picnic where he "And While I'm Waiting I'd Like to Speak with Your Mother." had been Invited by Syd and Tom, knowing that some of the boys would surely spoil his day by poking fun at his red hair and crooked eye. One day Willie was lying on the grass under a tree, watching the clouds floating overhead and wishing that both his eyes were straight like other boys' eyes, when he heard a man's voice call from the gate: "Is this the home of William Walk er, carpenter?" Willie quickly rose and replied that it was and that his father was Wil liam Walker, but was at his shop in town busy with some work. "Well, I can wait till he comes home for dinner," said the man, coming in through the gate. "And while I'm waiting I'd like to speak with your mother." Willie called to his mother, who came upon the porch." And as soon as her eyes fell on the stranger she cried out in a happy voice: "Why, if it isn't my dear brother Jim!" And then Uncle Jim took Willie in his arms and really kissed his frowzy red head, declaring that he was a fine boy and worthy of .his relationship. But that day, after dinner, Willie heard his parents in earnest conversa tion with his Uncle Jim and heard his uncle say: "Of course it can be done as slick as a ribbon and no harm done. And I've got the money to pay for it, too." And it turned out that it was Willie's crossed eye of which they were speaking, and on the follow ing day they took him to the doctor's office, and, after being there a little while, Willie came away with two straight eyes. But, of course, he could not use his eye that had been operated on for some days, and had to have it closely bandaged. But when the bandage was at last removed by the doctor Willie was the happiest boy in town, for now he had two eyes exact ly alike and as fine and straight as any other boy's eyes, too. As for his red hair bah, he didn't care a fig about that. And, to cap the climax, good, jolly Uncle Jim bought the finest pony for Willie you ever saw and a saddle and bridle to go with it, or on it, I should say. Then you should have seen the way all those ugly, tormenting boys did try to get into Willie's good graces, for they coveted a ride on the pony. Besides, the report had been circu lated about town that Uncle Jim was a very rich man (which was true) and that he meant to give his nephew all sorts of schooling and travel (which was true, also). And to do Willie justice for he was not a bad boy at heart he did not re sent the way the boys had treated him in the past; but he never quite trusted any of them save Syd and Tom. But he treated even his former tormentors with kindness and made them feel quite ashamed of them selves. And to this day they regret having made fun of the kindest and most generous boy in the world, Wil lie Walker. Washington Star. All His Life Without a Holiday. George Hayward, aged 91, who has just died at Needham Market, lived nearly all his life in the same house. He never had a day's holiday and never saw the sea. Haywood was for merly in business as a butcher, and he was in the habit of wearing an apron at church on Sundays beneath his frock coat London Daily Mail. Previous Arrangements. "How was it that they had such an all-around family stew?" "I think It was all cooked up before hand." Baltimore American. AN INDIAN HERO. Prize Story by Fifteen-Year-Oid De troit Boy. "HI! hi! hi!" yelled the red-skinned hunters as they came speeding ovei the sparkling cataract in their ten j canoes. Far away in the south were; the squaws and old men awaiting the return of these braves with meat td last them in times of famine. The Indians landed a little below the cata ract, as night was almost upon them. A blazing fire was made, and a chunk of venison sizzled over U Aft er they had eaten they sat around th campfire smoking. They were as He Aimed at the Snake's Head. silent as the night around them, the hooting of an owl being the onlv sound that broke the silence. When the fire began to get low and theii pipes needed refilling, one by one the red men filed into their tepees to get a few hours' rest. All slept well but one. That was Taw-ko, a boy on his first hunting trip. The day before he had fright ened away a herd of deer through his clumsiness. Makwa, the chief and Taw-ko's father, beat him for it, and even At-kik, his closest friend, looked at him only with scorn. A half hourj Had passed when, by the dim light oi the fire, Taw-ko saw a large rattle snake glide into his father's tepee. In a second he grabbed a gun, and was running to save Makwa's life. He saw the rattler crawling toward the man's face. Its head was already poised to strike. Taw-ko aimed hia gun at the snake's head. He knew well that if he missed fire his father's life would not be worth much. Crack! Taw-ko stood there, his nerves pitched to the highest tension, waiting until the smoke cleared away. He then saw a wonderful sight. His father was standing up, looking in amaze ment at the snake's headless body wriggling at his feet Taw-ko was a hero after that. His father praised him much and bought him a gun, a much better one than he had. The proud boy kept the snake's skin and it brought him much luck. He seemed, in years later, to bear a charmed life, which his tribe de clared was caused by his keeping oi this skin. Charles Smart, in Detroit Free Press. - A GOOD TRICK. Balance Act Which Will Surprise Your Friends. If you are fond of tricks, here's a good one. All you need is a long steel penny hatpin, a hairpin, a finger ring and a coin of equal weight as the ring. Bend the hairpin as shown in the picture. Place the coin in the slot made by the bent wire and hang the How Trick Is Done. ring on the hook end. With a little practice you will be able to balance the articles on the end of the hatpin. After you can balance them very well you can surprise your friends by mak ing the combination go round like a carrousel. This is accomplished by gently blowing upon the ring. For Memorial to John Bunyan. Negotiations for the erection of a memorial to John Bunyan in West minster Abbey, supported by peers, bishops, statesmen and literary per sons, have issued in a proposal by the dean and chapter that the tribute shall take the form of a window to be placed in the north aisle of the Ab bey. The archbishop of Canterbury promises to preside over the commit tee. New York's Costly Fire Department. There is a difference between the fire departments of London and of Nen York city. The London depart ment costs ten cents a year for each inhabitant, while the department of New York costs $1.75 for each New Yorker. Her Assistant. The authoress of whom Fliegende Blatter tells had said that she was very happy in her married life. "I find my husband such a help!" she added, fervently. "Indeed!" said her friend. "Does he cook or write?" Older Than She Looked. Bobbie That Mrs. Castleton said something nice about you. Mrs. Von Blumer (purring) What was it Bobbie? "She said you didn't show your age." Life. gj tSa HOOK. V7 ca COIN"' Rim BEND HOOK VmiMUMM LIKE THIS. ywffY THREE WEEKS. DiSI tbout a Remarkable Change Mrs. A. J. Davis of Murray, Kr. says: "When I began using Doaa's! Kidney Pills, kid ney disease was slowly poisoning me Dizzy spells almost: made me fall, sharp pains like knife. thrusts' would catch me in' the back, and finally an attack of grip left me with a constant agonis ing backache. Doan's Kidney Pills helped me quickly and in three weeks time there was not a symptom of kidney trouble remaining." Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Mllburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. SICK MAN WANTED CHANGE. More Than Willing to Make Transfer with Physician. A Syracuse business man who. De cides being extremely active and am bitious, has much sense of humor. was taken sick with a slight attack of pneumonia. His physician, aware that It would be a task to keep his high strung patient in bed, sought to im press on him the seriousness of the ailment and the necessity of absolute rest; all of which the sick man lis tened to in a bored manner. Never theless he consented to obey the doc tor. But this enforced Inactivity rankled In him; and each succeeding day found the patient importuning the medical man attendant to allow him to get out to business. Then, dis-j gusted. he would He back to cast im-J precations at the inexorable physw clan. j One morning the physician, after! having been up all night on an im-j portant case, appeared at bis patient's house at the usual hour. He had hard-j Iy stuck his haggard face inside thej door, however, before the man in the, bed gave him a quick glance and sail up. J "Eh? ejaculated the patient Then shoving out his hand to grasp the doc tor's satchel, he added: "Doc, I guess you'd better get into bed here and; let me go out with the medicine bag." I A PROGRESSIVE. - "Madame, dot girl of yours make great progress mit her moosic. Before she was always two or dree notes be oint me, and now she is always two or dree notes ahead." I The Bride's Look. A girl about to be married worries J io much ?he begins to look like an )ld married woman. In addition to worrying about her clothes and coax Jig her folks to give her a new outfit she sits up too late with her young man, and the result is an anxious, :areworn look a week before the wedding that cannot be told from the look on the face of a woman who has been married a year or two. Look at the next girl you meet who is soon to be married, and you will remark that she has "aged rapidly." Atchison Globe. A Discomfiting Witness. The following colloquy took place between Councilor Sealingwax and a witness who "would talk back:" "You say, sir, the prisoner is a thief?" "Yes, sir. 'Cause why, she has con fessed she was." "And you also swear she worked for you after this con fession?" "Yes, sir." "Then we are to understand that you employ dis honest people to work for you, even after their rascalities arc known?" "Of course. How else would I get as sistance from a lawyer?" Argonaut "The Law." Parents of Wayne, a suburb of Phil adelphia, are required to report promptly any case of contagious dis ease, in compliance with the regula tions of the local board of health. In accordance with this order. Health Officer Leary received this post card recently: "Dear Sir: This Is to notify yon that my boy Ephraim is down bad with the measles as required by the new law." Harper's Weekly. NOT A MIRACLE. Just Plain Cause and Effect. There are some quite remarkable things happening every day, which seem almost miraculous. Some persons would not believe that a man could suffer from coffee drink ing so severely as to cause spells of unconsciousness. And to find complete relief in changing from coffee to Pos tum is well worth recording. "I used to be a great coffee drinker, so much so that it was killing me by inches. My heart became so weak I would fall and lie unconscious for an hour at a time. The spells caught) me sometimes two or three times a day. "My friends, and even the doctor, told me it was drinking coffee that caused the trouble. I would not be lieve it, and still drank coffee until I could not leave my room. "Then my doctor, who drinks Pos tum himself, persuaded me to stop cof fee and try Postum. After much hesi tation I concluded to try it. That was eight months ago. Since then I have had but few of those spells, none for iore than four months. "I feel better, sleep better and am. better every way. I now drink noth ing but Postum and touch no coffee, and as I am seventy years of age all my friends think the improvement quite remarkable." "There's a Reason." Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Well ville," in pkgs. Ever read the above letter? A new one appears from time to time. They are genuine, true, and full of human tafBSaBSt- .""JTV -. 1 Interest. X IV - -i . A., . v - v. Cfg- -X..t. . js-;-vk ii . v-' . . i ; V
