Nebraska Newspapers

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PROOF FOR TWO CENTS.
If You Suffer with Your Kidneys and
Back, Write to This Man.
G. W. Winney, Medina, N. Y.. in
vites kidney sufferers to write to hlia.
To all who enclose
postage be will re
ply, telling how
Doan's Kidney Pills
cured him after he
had doctored and
had been in two dif
ferent hospitals for
ei ghteen months,
suffering intense
pain in the hack,
lameness, twinges
when stooping or
liftinj
languor, dizzy spells and rheu
matism. "Before I used Doan's Kid
ney Pills," says Mr. Winney, "I
weighed 143. After taking 10 or 12
boxes I weighed 1C2 and was com
pletely cured."
Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
NOT EVE'S FAULT THAT TIME.
Childish Realism Instilled Into Story
of Garden of Eden.
Realism rules the nursery. A cer
tain Philadelphia matron, who had
taki'n pains to inculcate Biblical
stories as well as ethical truths in her
three children, heard, the other day,
long drawn howls of rage and grief
filtering down from the playroom. Up
two flights she hurried, to find on the
floor Jack and Ethel, voices uplifted.
Thomas, aged nine, sat perched upon
the table, his mouth full and his eyes
guilty.
'Whatever is the matter?" asked
mamma.
"IJo-oo!" came from Ethel; "we
were playing Garden of Eden. Boo-o!"
"But what is there to cry about?"
Then .lack, with furious finger point
ing at Tom, ejaculated through his
tears: "God's eat the apple!" Bohe
mian Magazine.
CARNEGIE'S RIVAL.
"lie's a regular philanthro what
do you call it?"
"Wot's he did?"
"Why. in de last week he's give
away two dozen 'Deadwood Dick' an'
a dozen 'Nickel' libraries!"
Couldn't Fool Him.
A custom house clerk, who. prior
to his entry into Uncle Sam's service,
was a schoolteacher "a good many
years yet," as he proudly informs his
associates, was standing on the corner
of Fifth and Chestnut streets one cold
day last winter, deeply engrossed in
studying a legend which appeared on
a dairy man's wagon, as follows:
"Pasteurized milk," etc.
His face wore a puzzled expression,
but finally betraying evidence of dawn
inc intelligence he remarked to a by
slander: "Ain't these here Philadelphia milk
men a-geitin to be just as deceitful
as anything! Pasturized milk, eh?
But they can't fool me. 'cause I lived
in the country, and know you can't
pusture cows in winter."
A Mere Fad.
John D. Rockefeller. Jr., was talking
to a member of the famous Bible class
about economy.
"But economy, like everything else,
may be carried to extremes may be
made a mere fad of." said Mr. Rocke
feller. "There is a farmer out near Cleve
land who makes a fad of economy.
Every time he drives into town ho
carries a lien with him tied to the
seat of his buggy.
"A friend rode with him one day
and found out the use of the hen
When, at noon, the farmer lunched
under a tree he gave his mare a feed
from a nosebag. The hen, set on the
ground, ate all that the horse spilled
from the bag, and thus there was no
waste."
DIFFERENT NOW
Athlete Finds Better Training Food.
It was formerly the belief that to
become strong, athletes must eat
plenty of meat.
This is all out of date now. and
many trainers feed athletes on the
well-known food. Grape-Nuts, made of
wheat and barley, and cut the meat
down to a small portion once a day.
"Three years ago." writes ,a Mich,
man. "having become interested In
athletics, I found I would have to stop
eating pastry and some other kinds
of food.
"I got some Grape-Nuts, and was
soon eating the food at every meal,
for I found that when I went on the
track. I felt more lively and active.
"Later, I began also to drink Postum
in place of coffee, and the way I
gained muscle and strength on this
diet was certainly great. On the day
of a field meet in June I weighed 124
lbs. On the opening of the football
season in Sept., I weighed 140. I at
tribute my fine condition and good
work to the discontinuation of im
proper food and coffee, and the using
of Grape-Nuts and Postum, my princi
pal diet during training season being
Grtape-Xuts.
"Before I used Grape-Nuts I never
felt right in the morning always kind
of 'out of sorts' with my stomach. But
now when I rise I feel good, and after
a breakfast largely of Grape-Nuts
with cream, and a cup of Postum, I
feel like a new man." "There's a
Reason."
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to
Wellville," in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full of human
interest.
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THE STATE CAPITAL
MATTERS OF INTEREST TO ALL
CITIZENS.
DEPOSIT OF PENSION MONEY
A Former Rule Has Been Repealed
and a New One Will Be Adopted
by the State Board.
New Rule for Old One.
The rule requiring members of sol
diers' homes in Nebraska to pay a por
tion of their pension money to the
cash funds of the homes, recently
fought through the courts till its le
iraiitv was sustained and then sus
pended by the state board of public j
lauds and buildings till turtner oruert,,
has been repleaded by the board and
a new rule will be adopted. At a pro
longed session of the board this was
decided upon and as the member of
the board who was delegated to draft
the new rule dees his duty the action
of the board will be made official.
The new rule which was tested in
the courts and which was upheld and
which is now rescinded proided that
each member of the homes might le
tain SI 2 a month of pension money and
pay 10 per cent on all over $12 a
month and not more tl an ?1C a month;
20 per cent on all over $20 and not
more than $23; :50 per cent on all over
$24 and not more than $29. and what
ever the commandant anJ board shall
deem just on all over $30. If a mem
ber is helpless the rule provided that
he should pay a portion of pension
money deemed equitable by the board
and commandant, unless he should
have a dependent wife or children. An
other rule that was never mentioned
in the court proceedings provided that
any member having a dependent wife
or minor children who refuses to con
tribute two-thirds of his penson, on de
mand, for tile use of such dependents
offers good grounds for his discharge.
It was discovered by the board that
the rule had not been enforced at the
Grand Island homo, hut was enforce
at the Milford Lome. As it was con
sidered more favorable than the old
rule adopted many years ago by the
populist administration, the members
of the present board supposed it would
be satisfactory to all concerned. In
this they were incorrect as shown by
the injunction suit that was com
menced by a member of the Grand
Island home and backed by prominent
politicians.
Although the state board won the
suit in tlie supreme court, the suit is
still pending and the plaintiff has a
right to file a motion for a renearlng.
Until the suit is finally settled the
board canot adopt a rule that would
take any part of pension money, even
if the members desired to do so. It is
understood the rule agreed upon will
provide that no veteran who is able
to earn a livelihood or who has means
of support shall be admitted to the
home and that such veterans may be
honorably discharged at ihe discretion
of the board. No pension money will
be retained, but if in the judgment of
the board any member of the home is
incompetent to handle his own pension
money he flill be required to deposit
all of it with the commandant and it
will be paid back to him in install
ments such as the commandant deeinr.
necessary for the good of the member
and when the member is discharged
from the home he will receive back all
his funds on deposit with the com
mandant. Removing Dead Animals.
Health Officer Rohde, who did much
in the way of rescuing the flood vic
tims Monday and Tuesday, made a
tour inspection of the low lands. Fif
teen large animals were found dead by
the health officer and many hogs. The
remains of innumerable chickens cover
the yards on the flooded bottoms. Most
of the larger animals were removed
last week and the remainder and those
that will he found will be taken care
of. The team of mules, drowned on
North Fourteenth street, were found,
one on the roadway and the other a
considerable distance from the point
where they were lost. A horse was
found north of the right of way about
twentieth street and a team of horses
nar the old East Lincoln mill on the
Northwestern. The bodies of a few
cattle were found in the west bottoms.
Many more are exported to Te founa
lodged in the debris where the stream
is chocked at various bridges.
Boats are Missing.
Only twenty-three of the forty-one
boats used by the city officials during
the recent flood have been located and
returned to their owners. Many of
them are still in the hands of individ
uals in the flood districts where they
were used. The police are making an
effort to find the missing craft and re
store them to the people to whom they
belong.
Will Ask for Medal.
Some of the men who witnessed the
heroic work of Bert E. Small of Sagi
nay. Mich.. In saving the lives of
eleven people at Ashland, will petition
Carnegie for a medal for the young
man. Small is a sailor, about twenty
four years old. and was on his way to
the grain fields of Kansas where he ex
pected to secure work. He rescued
nine people from almost certain death,
under most difficult conditions, and
two men from perilous positions.
Frank E. Schaaf. of 140 South Thir
teenth street, witnessed the bravery.
Coal Rates Away Up in Air.
The intimate connection of freight
rates with prices is well shown by the
recent purchases of coal for the va
rious state institutions. The following
are the prices and quantities at four
of the state institutions: Lincoln asy
lum, 2,000. $2.69; Hastings ayslum.
6,000, $3.05; Kearney industrial, COO.
4.15; Norfolk avium, 2,000, 4.07. Ac
cording to this the freight to Kearney
is S6 cents per ton more than to Lin
coln from the south, 78 cents more to
Norfolk and 35 cents more tr Hastings.
NEBRASKA NEWS AND NOTES.
!
Items of Greater or Lesser Impor
tance Over the State.
The corner stone of the new Elks
hiiiMinw of Ynrlc was laid last week. I
We publish a list of Omaha business
houses in another column. In writing
or calling on them please mention
this paper.
By prompt action the farmers in the
vicinity of Malcolm thing that they
have succeeded in exterminating the
Canadian thistle which recently
threatened to become such a pest
throughout the neighborhiid. The
seeds, it is thought, were brought in
in some eastern grass seed sowed in a
certain pasture, and grew unnoticed
for a season.
Ninety per cent of the retailers in
Nebraska who were asked by the Dry
Goodsman and General Merchant (St.
Louis), which paper issued a "prosper
ity edition" about the business out
look, replied that they expected to do
as much or more business for fall
than they did last year, while only
fnn 50 to 75 per cent of the mer
chants in other states gave as good as
surances. Ditch matters are engrossing the at
tention of the Dodge county author
ities at present, a petition has been
filed by owners'of property lyinz nrth
of Fremont for a ditch seven miles
long, varying from twelve to thirty
feet in width and six feet deep. The
proposed waterway will drain thou
sands of acres which the signers al
lege is now unfit for cultivation be
cause of an excess of moisture.
At the various scenes of the wrecks
caused by the late storms, says a Ge
neva dispatch, the debris is being
gathered, this being an arduous task.
At some of the pfaces new barns have
already taken the place of the old. At
the Mertiam farm a new barn is up
and a large new foundation for a resi
dence laid south of where the old
home stood. Much of the corn and
small grain on the lowlands is com
pletely destroyed.
An ordinary life policy in THE MID
WEST LIFE of Lincoln. Nebraska,
for one 25 years of age would cost
$20.91 for the first year and $16.40 a
year thereafter. Payments after the
first year could be paid every quarter
at a cost of $4.35 a quarter. THE
MIDWEST LIFE is an old line com
pany and1 is furnishing safe and sound
insurance, good for all time, at a rate
which is within the reach of all.
Agents wanted. Write for particulars.
D. Clem Deaver, superintendent of
the homeseekers' information bureau
of the Burlington is arranging for the
winter trip of the exhibit car which
will be started east about September
1. The car will contain products from
Nebraska, Colorado and Wyoming,
one-half the space being given to dry
farming and the other half to irriga
tion. Wisconsin will be added to the
territory covered by the car, which
last year visited Iowa, Illinois and
northern Missouri.
There is a lively fight on in Pleas
ant Grove school district, Otoe county, I
over the removal of the school house.
At the election twenty-eight voted to
move the same and seventeen against,
but the law does not permit the mov
ing of a school house unless it is three"
fourths of a mile from the center of
the district and both sides wifl have
surveyors out there to ascertain just
how near the center of the district it
is located and may call another elec
tion to decide the matter.
A feature of the Fourth of July cel
ebration at North Platte was. the pub
lic wedding at high noon of Joseph
Beirbower and Mrs. Walling, which
was witnessed by several thousand, j
The ceremony was performed by
Justice Grimes of the district court on
one of the main streets of the city.
The groom was married with his hat
on. The couple were the recipients
of many and various gifts which had
been offered to the couple that would
get married on this occasion.
"In behalf of the Territorial Pio
neers of Nebraska I want to urge all
the officers and members of the Coun
ty Pioneer associations to make a
special effort to get as many of their
members and others to join the state
association of Nebraska Pioneers,"
said President A. N. Yost of the Ne
braska Pioneers at Omaha. "I would
like also, to see a pioneer organiza
tion in every county in this state, and
there is no reason why there should
not be. All it costs to organize is an
effort, and a very small effort at that."
The total fatalities from the disas
trous wreck on the Northwestern line,
near Clinton, a small station west of
Valentine, has now reached thirteen,
of which four were train man and
nine were tramps, who were beating
their way, and officials say there may
be more bodies buried beneath the
enormous piles of coal. The spot
where the culvert was washed away
has never been known to contain
more than a foot of water at a time
and when the double header plunged
into the hole it was filled with nine
feet of water.
State Treasurer Brian has bought
$500,000 worth of Caliornia state
bonds at par to net the state 4 per
cent interest He went to California
the latter part of last week, in answer
to a notice that the bonds were to be
sold to the highest bidder.
The residetns of the village of Smart
ville, Johnson county, came into court
with a petition and prayed that the
name of the place might be changed
to St. Mary. The request was granted
and the postoffice department ac
knowledged the new name. The Bur
lington railroad company objected and
still calls the village Smartville.
Tabitha home, near Lincoln, was
dedicated last month.
A four days Indian carnival was
held at Walthill. Four hundred and
sixty-eight Omaha Indians camped in
town during the entire week and many
others spent several days visiting the
exercises. A complete program of
amusements was caried out every day,
consisting of a ball game, horse races,
a wild west show, a balloon ascen
sion and an Indian dance. The In
dians danced their ancient dances in
their most fancy and gorgeous cos
tumes. Many hundreds of people vis
ited the town every day.
Urn ItepJnyol
8 i J)
The wiseacres of the neighborhood
were discussing the question of com
mon sense, sitting about the black
smith shop, waiting for their horses
to be shod, when a silence that had
suddenly fallen warned old Limuel
Jucklin that it was time for him to
say something.
"Yes," he remarked, "good, hard
orse sense is of so rare a quality that
it is nearly always taken for genius.
All that most any man needs is a
little jedgment, the very governor on
the machinery of this life; and bein
so needful it is what we seem to be
most lackin' in. To know how to do
a thing isn't much more inportant
than knowin' what not to do. Knowin"
when to do it is real genius. If
you cut your wheat before it's ripe
you get sappy straw for your labor.
If you wait too long you get but dry
straw. Jedgment comes from experi
ence, and common sense is the wis
dom beat into the heads of men that
have gone before."
"You leave out education," spoke up
a schoolmaster.
"Oh, no, I don't, for education is the
experience of the mind. It goes back
beyond all books, and the first book
must have been written out of experi
ence. But to read of the common
sense of the other men don't always
give us common sense of our own. In
my house is a book written by a man
named Kant; he calls it the 'Critique
of Pure Reason.' Well, since I have
more or less let up on hard work I've
given a good deal of attention to the
books that fortune and a little lookin'
around have thrown in my way, but
this here one stumped me. I read it
forward and I tried it backward, up
and down, and it seemed like I wa'n't
goin' to get a thing out of it. My wife,
seein' how I was bothered, begged me
to throw it away and eat a boiled din
ner that she put on the table. I did
eat, but all the time I was thlnkin'
about that thing all set out there in
words plain enough, but what didn't
appear to have any meanln. After
dinner I took it up again and fought
with It, holdin it this way and that,
up and down, in the sun at the win
dow and in the shade; but Til be
hanged if I could get at the juice of
it. Finally, however, I struck one
thing that paid me for all my trouble,
and it was this, as near as I can re
member it: "A man may read all
books and understand them, and he
may be able to speak all languages,
and yet all this cannot atone for a
lack of what we know as mother wit.'
Mother wit horse sense you under
stand." "But how are we to get or rather
I should say, after maturer considera
tion, how are we to proceed toward
the acquirement of that quality de
nominated by the great German phil
osopher as mother wit?" protested the
schoolmaster, and old Lim replied:
OME one with a
taste for figures
was telling me
the other day
that since the for
mation of the
United States
somewhere back
in the century be
fore the last, only
26 Americans
have become pres
ident and not a
single foreigner.
Doesn't this fact
put parents and
teachers in rath
er an unenviable
position as re
gards sincerity?
Here we have to
day at least ten
million innocent
children in this
broad land of ours, and nearly every
one of them has been told that he has
a chance to become president if he
will only regard his book and be a
good boy and do more right thaa
wrong.
For my part, I think we ought to
take our children aside and tell them
frankly that they have mighty little
chance. Think of a bright boy toiling
on at school, avoiding athletics and
burning the midnight oil and his
brain as well for there's much con
sumption of brain as there is of mid
night oil in these nocturnal studyings
think of his pushing on in every
state in the union hoping for the
presidency, while we know that Tor
the next 50 years we can't expect to
put more than five of the children of
to-day into the great position.
For my part I'd say to my child:
"Rollo, there's the presidency. It's a
lottery. No man ever knew from the
beginning that he was going to get it
Washington was real surprised, Hayes
had his doubts even after election day,
and Roosevelt often goes off by him
self and says, 'Is it really possible that
the former cowboy and literary man
the hero of thousands of young men,
is president of this mighty people and
might be yet again if he were to al
low his name to be used?' But, as I
say, my boy, it's a lottery, and this
counttry of ours is opposed to lotter
ies officially.
"Emerson," I would say, continuing
the conversation for you to under
stand that this is a hypothetical case
(TW 0 'riT3
f nS.
A x Y JfJ rt r-i
w TMA.
N XTA r "
"I'll be blowed if I know."
"Then education is useless," said the
schoolmaster.
"Oh, no, but sometimes it does
seem like an experiment. There are
two sorts of education, you know
one of memory only and one that
teaches a feller how to think for him
self. I knew a feller that could hear
a sermon once and could come away
and repeat every word of it, but he
didn't have ability enough of his own
to write a notice and tack it on a tree
announcln' that he had a mule for
sale. He was like a blanket that is
rained on. You couldn't wring out of
him any more moisture than fell on
him. Yes, sir, common sense is mighty
nigh everything. And when it rises
into a sort of enthusiasm it is inspira
tion. Sometimes ignorance takes fire
and in its light we see beautiful pic
tures. If the man Is altogether un
lettered we call him crazy. But if he
can write he may prove to be a gen
ius. It is a sudden lurch of common
sense, an overbalancin', as it were."
"Then you call genius insanity,"
said the schoolmaster.
"No, not that, but It is a sort of
passion that don't halt to reason by
slow means, but that sees all reason
in one flash. Now there was Shakes
peare "
"Written by Bacon: but proceed,"
broke in the schoolmaster.
"I don't care if it was written by
ham, lard or soap grease, its senten
ces are staked off with stars, snatched
out of the sky on a June night. It
took the world several hundred years
to catch up, and neither the railroad
train nor these pantin' wagons that,
bull-eyed, plunge across the country
has outstripped that book yet. And
what is it? A torch held high by com
mon sense. A lantern ray flung into
the black face of human nature. Up
shows a grim countenance, and then
we wonder how a man could have
been so smart. Of course, the man
that wrote that book had to have
words, but common sense finds all the
words that are needful to its purposes,
all the words there is if there should
be a demand for them, and then
make a few."
The schoolmaster shook his head.
"Those immortal plays were written
by a man of the world, and a world
man, of that day, could have come
from no place other than a univer
sity." "That's all right and it may be true,
but the university is a premium put
on common sense. It's a flower
bloomin' on the top of the buildin'.
And I believe that It would be better
for every man and every woman to
go through a university. It is the
warehouse of the ages. It might not
teach us how to make a better livln.
but it would enable us better to en
joy the livin' we have. I don't be
lieve in this fool idea that ignorance
Thinking?
('J
Charles
and that therefore the boy has got to
stand still and listen "Emerson said,
'Hitch your wagon to a star,' but you
may make a mistake and hitch it to
a comet and then, where is your wagon?
"There are plenty of likelier horses,
my son, and in these days of auto
mobiles it isn't necessary to hitch your
wagon to anything. Just make up your
mind where you want to go, be sure
you have motive power enough to get
there, and then turn on the current.
But put the presidency out of your
mind once and for all."
The presidency I am not talking
to my son now, but just to you, dear
reader the son escaped after all, hy
pothetical though he was the presi
dency is, as a general rule, equiva
lent to a life sentence. Few there be
who survive its term of office many
years. There have been solid excep
tions, but as a general thing when a
man has passed through four years
of hand-shaking and politician-shaking
he is willing to wrap the drapery of
his couch around him as Bryant did ot
the age of 19. Bryant lived for some
70 years after, but no former president
ever did. Not one.
And on the other hand Bryant
never became president. There's Bry
ant who could and who did write
"Thanatopsis" at the age of 19 and
he's the only man in the history of the
United States who ever wrote it, and
he never became president, never in
his life. And there's Andrew John
son, who at the same age could neith
er read nor write, and he became pres
ident. Of course it's a lottery, and
I'm opposed to lotteries on principle.
There came a day in my own life
when I gave up all thought of being
president. I said to myself: "It will
be hard work to get the attention of
the public in this thing. Many will
not know who I am or where I came
from, and perhaps if I do get the
nomination on the independent prohibition-
or labor ticket I will wake up
the day after election and find that
some totally different person has won
the prize, and I'll be extremely mor
tified and absolutely put to it to pay
my legitimate election expenses to
say nothing of the illegitimate ones."
So I put this possible honor from
me. Heavens! it wasn't that I did
not appreciate the honor. A man has
a right to feel proud when millions
of his fellow citizens, many of them
unable to read or write or think, elect
him to the proudest por.itio. ia the
ZLA I
Horse 5ense
llWW'si-
is any ways kin to bliss. I know
what the sayin is, where Ignorance is
bliss, and so on, but the world got it
wrong and thought it was a plea for
ignorance. And neither do I think
that a little learnin' is as dangerous
as much ignorance. If a man's gc
little the chances are that he'll get
more. If we've got mother wit, and it
has come out of nature, let us thank
nature for it and try to improve it.
But trace it on back and mebby you'll
find that it comes from some care that
our forefathers took of themselves.
One of these days we'll be forefathers,
and right here, I want to say, rests
somethin' of a responsibility. Let us
all try to light up the future with
common sense."
Old man Brizintine said that he was
willing. He was sure that he was In
debted to his forefathers. His great
grandfather had been noted as the
best horse trader in the state, "and,"
he added, "if it hadn't been for him
I might not have been such a good
judge of a colt."
"Yes, might not have been here at
all," Limuel spoke up. "But, not
wishin to do the old man an injustice,
I may remark that horse sense don't
particularly lend itself to horse swap
pin.' "
Brizintine had begun to swell with
a resentful reply when the schoolmas
ter spoke. "But giving genius the
place of high common sense, undergo
ing, I might say, some of its own and
peculiar evolutions, don't you believe
that it sometimes goes through this
world unappreciated?"
"Well, I have heard folks say that
they wan't taken at their worth. I
know some that haven't been
taken at their word. Recollect old
Gabner Hightower, over on the creek?
He had a son that was a born genius.
His name was Elihu and he looked
it all right. They didn't want him to
soil his hands for fear that it might
smirch his genius. His mother wanted
him for the church because he wan't
strong in body, and his dad wanted
him for the law, because his habit
of silence would prove him a good
jedge. In the meantime Jim, Elihu's
brother, worked in the field. Well,
they first tried the pulpit and then
they tried the law, but Elihu had too
much genius for either one. Then
they thought he was designed by na
ture to write hymns, and he tried
his hand at it, but failed. They tried
many things before they found out
what he had a genius for."
"And what was it?" the schoolmas
ter inquired. -
"Well, nothin' but for just lookin'
like a genius. And Jim, his brother,
invented an evaporator for makln'
sorghum molasses and now owns
about a third of the county. Yes, sir,
hoss sense."
(Copyright, by Opie Read.)
feuP
Battell Loomis
UJ :
I J
gift of any nation. I weighed the
whole thing pro and con and then I
said, deliberately and firmly: "No,
sir, I am going to lead Wagner's
simple life. I'm going to get simpler
and simpler and perhaps I'll die con
tented." Fellow citizens, there comes a time
to all of us who have an eye on the
presidency when we must make up
our mind to give up the contest or
else accept the inevitable with calm
steadfastness. I simply couldn't bear
to be defeated for the presidency. Do
you suppose that I could read in the
papers that I was snowed under in
every state in the union, and then
calmly take a poem and try to sell
it to the editor? No, sir! I'd use back
streets for the rest of my life and
write under a pen name. Cincinnatus
hadn't been defeated for senator when
he went back to the plow. The honor
of election is great, but the mortifica
tion of defeat is greater.
Look at Horace Greeley. He was
not content to be the Nestor of Ameri
can Journalism; he must try to be
president. Said he'd rather be presi
dent than write.
The result was too lamentable to
jest about. I was a mere boy at the
time, but it saved me from the presi
dency. It was the turning of the ways.
Like Rutherford B. Hayes, I went Into
the egg business; but unlike him
or maybe it would be more accurate
to say that like him I never was
president de jure. But that is a by
gone. Twenty years ago if I had said
that many people would have frothed
at the mouth. Many people still froth
at the mouth, but the froth is apropos
of other matters. Significant name
that froth.
No, fellow countrymen, let us be
contented. It Is not likely that over
20, at the outside, of those Americans
who are now living will ever add lus
ter to the presidential chair or even
sit in it. Let the rest of us go about
our business with contentment, and
every four years let us elevate one of
the 20 with a good grace, aid for
four years thereafter Jet every man
mind his own business and see that
he has a business to mind and this
country will stride forward as it has
not yet stridden or Is it strode?
(Copyright, by James Pott & Co.)
Or Women, Either.
The only man who can keep a prom
ise is the man who never has to make
one. New York Press.
HIS WAY OF PROPOSING.
31
He They tell me you re great at'
guessing conundrums.
She Well, rather good.
He Here's one for you: If I were to
tsk you to marry me, what would you
say?
TWO CURES OF ECZEMA
Baby Had Severe Attack Grandfather
Suffered Torments with It
Owe Recovery to Cuticura.
"In 1SS4 my grandson, a babe, had
an attack of eczema, apd after trying
the doctors to the extent of heavy bills
and an increase of the disease and suf
fering, I recommended Cuticura and
in a few weeks the child was well. Ho
is to-day a strong man and absolutely
free from the disease. A few years
ago I contracted eczema, and became
an intense sufferer. A whole winter
passed without once having on shoes,
nearly from the knees to the toes be
ing covered with virulent sores. I tried
many doctors to no purpose. Then It
procured the Cuticura Remedies and.
found immediate improvement and
finalcure. M.W.LaRue, 845 Seventh St.,
Louisville, Ky., Apr. 23 and May 14, '07."
Advice to the Lovelorn.
An Albany politician was discussing
the heart troubles that ofttimes draw
famous men unwillingly into court.
"If these men," said he, "would
paste In their hats poor expatriated
Abe Hummel's advice, they'd have no
difficulty whatever.
"Abe's advice, which he incessantly
repeated to his clients, was:
"'Never make love to a woman
through an ink bottle.' "
Important to Momero.
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
Infants and children, and see that It
T7aam 4Ya
Signature CjutjfCcJuM
in Use For Over 30 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Looking for Work.
"Why don't you go to work instead
of begging aud boozing?"
"I will, boss, as soon a3 there's an
openin' in my trade. An' I ain't got
long to wait now, nuther."
"What is your trade?"
"I'm a trackwalker for aeroplane
lines."
Lewis' Single Binder Cigar has a rich
taste. Your dealer or Lewis' Factory,
Peoria, 111.
The romance of a spinster is apt to
be one sided.
Mrs. Window's Soothing: Syrup.
For children teething, softens the Riimj, reduce H
flammaiion, allays pain, cure wind colic 25cattUv
The prettiest flowers are not neces
sarily the most fragrant.
U Allen's Foot-Kuan
Cnrestlml.acriine. sweating feet. 'c Trial package
free. JUS. UltusleU.Loltuy.N. Y.
Music Isn't necessarily fragmentary
because it comes in pieces.
I
A MOTHER
How many American women in
lonely homes to-day long for this
blessing to come into their lives, and
to be able to utter these words, but
because of some organic derange
ment this happiness is denied them.
Every woman interested in this
subject should know that prepanu
tion for healthy maternity ia
accomplished by the use of
LYDIA E. PIN KH AIM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND
Mrs. Maggie Gilmer, of "West
"Union, S. G,writes to Mrs. Rnkharn :
"I was greatly run-down in health
from a weakness peculiar to my sex,
when Lydia E. Pinkham' s Vegetable
Compound was recommended to me. It ,
not only restored me to perfect health,
but to my delight I am a mother."
Mrs. Josephine Hall,of Bardstown,
Ky., writes :
"I was a very great sufferer from
female troubles, and my physician failed.
to help me. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege
table Compound not only restored ma
to perfect health, but I am now a proud
mother."
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
andhas positively cured thousandsof
women who have been troubled with,
displacements, inflammation, ulcera
tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bearing-down
feeling, flatulency, indiges
tion, dizziness ornervous prostration.
Why don't you try it?
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands to
health. Address.- Lynn, Mass.
AM