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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (March 4, 1908)
.krvv'-v" i.s -. .-jt i-S''tSti VIsT5 r-Ji-tBir-r-j--. M - 7 Mf - "- r - ln , .- - , - ji, S3 Uv jp B !Sf''''--, fl I n Sum Mb. L IwiMff iacuba LMdn Bras, are banlieg graia to ithmweek. ited at the home of m i a aew windmill, (Jhariie Md Adolph lam work.' Jeoflnhamn rihw purchased a team of i at the bom oak) Moaday. a surprise party at the ef Adolph Mueller Friday night. Joha Luchaiager aad Hanaaa (Jigax eaea had a fore of team hauling hogs auoeday aad Taesday. Otto Swart, Edward Ahreaa, Peter Haagslar aad Arthar Ahreaa were hunt tug decks last 8aaday. Mies Etta Jtoore of Omaha arrived kw8etardeyfora visit with her par aaa?, Mr. aad Mra. 0. G. Moore. lNteMa.4. are gettiag quite these days. Mr. Newmaa, who has been on the aiek list, ia getting along nicely. Farmers wQl start their spring work if the weather eoatinaes favorable. Jos. Hoerl came down from dear Water aad will farm the M. Seibler plaoe taieyaar. Adolph Sehalta has moved oa the old 1 will work lor Joseph Poaffelth A large erowd nattered at the home ef John Podraxa Monday night aad en joyed aa old fashioned dance. . J. A. Kilhorn loaded his household feeds aad stock last Friday aad left for Spalding, where he will farm this sum- eaawJuv Robert Rnpprecht moved on the Jos Disohaer farm, oa roate No. 2, aad An- gast Hsrms moved on the farm vacated by Mr. Rnparecht. Workeawa are repairing the bout oa the old Steveas plase, vacated by J. A. Kilborn, nnd wheu it is com pleted wiU be occapied by Butler Bros. ran a aarprise party at the of John Hilliard last Wednesday itag to remind Mrs. Hilliard that it was her fifty-second birthday. A good time was reported by all present Aatarttati Letters. The following is a list of unclaimed mail matter ia the post office at Colnm baa Neb. for the period ending March 3rd. 1908. Letters: Ones E Brown, W XGaley, Lester GJohnaon, Fred Tha eaet, M M Poatle, Miss Agnes Supen aheck, Mies Maud 8peaeer. Mies Milliard MeKiassly. Cards, Miss Vina Fuller. Walter Kraase, Tick Koziol, Ralgh Biagham. Parties calling for any of the above will please My "advertised." OAK. KBAXKR.P. M. Hoekeaberger k Chambers real estate ageata, report the following real estate traaafers filed for record in the oasce of the eoanty clerk since our lest report sad np to and including Mareh2,190& H BBebiaeBa to Max Gottberc south Mloto7aad8,MkStCoamlxw,d.$ 29BO0O J W Caster to Fred 8 Lecroa, lotW. ; lilot Ui blk 7. Smith' add to 1950 00 i jajeine to John Baehholtz. lot 4. hah &. Garrard add Colambaa, wd P 8 McKOlip to Frad H Daria, part ae aVBf dvaVSvJe na P E MeKillip to lana Laad Co. S ae4 P E MeKfllip to PanaLaadCo. Iota 12. lB.U.klkS.Cnatoa.ard P B MeKillip to Fan Laad Co. lot 1 aad 2. Hk 18, Laekaar'aadd to Ham- 850 00 Ten 00 8660 60 4S30 00 r.wd$ 500 00 X709 09 1900 OS MOOOOS MTOoee 19W)60 SM0 60 6120 00 tea 169 100 ISO see 00 sen 760 60 925 60 888 60 1 6 Weaaaor to Valtin Gear, ae aw, 8t-36-2w.wd..... ................ YaMaGehrto Peter Labtacber. w2ae aw.aV48-2w.wa. EPBwiactoPEMcKilUp, lota IS. IS. 14.alkB.CRatoa.wd Mike raarir, to P E MeKOUp. aw r.wd rto Hypolt FJaea. aw 10- EdAUartoPEMcKUUp. a2 ae.0- PE MeKillip to HFPraag.8aBMw ZofeTokerto Joka Stack, part lot S, aU,7.8.alkU.Daacaa.wd. JHWardaawato C KWaidenaa.eS RJ aPaaAWaea ajll HWfaedHre to Loaiae Laaachea. aw aPaWaaaj aaBf aaaaej aVU W J Lacaekea to H W Laedtke. auae.. HFJHeckeabercrr toC B Milla. lot 2. ale M. Backer Plaee. Cotaabaa.... WaiWebetaretal to JoaMWelck. pt tiw awm Man E Miller to Wat Wardeana et al, ateea0aadptaeee.7-l8-le.wd. H8EwaBw.toAlioeDaBcaa.lot5. blk BawaBaaaap HMoekeabeiaat toGaa Stoll.aU blk HB WkketoJowe Starek, lot S. blk "" WamatMwfflfiBa. Q08 AlieeWatkiaato Mary A Milea. lot M.klkM.Oanard'aatldCol.wd A H Watktoa to L K Miller, lota Uaad 15 60 166 U.klkMLGanard'aadd 960 68 Jee B Paarocki to Joka Paproeki.aw aaa. BwLSwLAaw varrl aaMj -avaaWkwaTa WTIa JBaiinnateWiKlaa.w2w2.awee ""sjfia WJ . J B aetkaa to L Daka. a2 w2 aw ee. M- Aswa?f Wa , AWeiart to W G Baaa. lot 5. blk SB. sseoeo 1158 60 1159 60 100 M C Cawaa to aaia Oawia. lot 7. blk S. BitWaad Park. ColaaAaa. wde J W Kias to Hj Hockaakercer. w lta 1 aad X blk . Beaker Place. Col, wd . . Jaka Detach to D Ham. lota S aad 4, bHcM6.Celaaibaa.vd. ASM Garker to Nick Blaaer. ee ae SI. I74w.wd. HaacwatoliewwaatoCABewaaa.pt awSatsenBj aaag CAMiiaiawtoOttoSckayd. pt2247 MaSeaSttoJS Hoaaenuaa. lot, blk 9V aamaaVJaT a7awK9 kBaBHaaVfiwat wfu B B Hold to Hr Iaadwekr. pt W. U aad MS 68 1880 60 2308m sen ee 7500 00 60 65000 A F Biekert, aw as, 24-14-to J H Wetjaalw ee 4880 60 nm B4S47-: toJFraSer jr awf27-20-Sw aPaa a aa aaa J W Malat to Gee Gakriar e ae a ae aa 729M an ee 25 68 7M8 68 168 4168 68 UfM 68 "ambj arwl 0 1 ml ewfiamvPaTaeBl II DTPtmlMaaatoJaka Barer pt7aad J aaatmTnirtiialiil Haawararwd .1 LGkatoWBiAMjeraatalawae61 HI aWkBBBajg m l( B j B ewBWVwamBBmaBamHeTaBssssaattsaaaa "I FFDawjtolBBriwalaad BreaeM- "JJLf. iBi Temj ttn'Tna niaailnr it f'r in BT fiMaMa pm 'i: JjaaBfeaaatalteT Haaadalfat 5 ajj aaaas jaaa...... ....... ........ ''fli' aiaiaaaaaa wa... ....... ...... njVi aa Maaaaaaawaia.. ...... .......... -lis- LEFT HU GUESSING INSPECTOR HA5 NO ANSWER TO CUB? RETORT. Army Ofitcar Relates Hear Ha Oat Beautiful tatback tram the Yeanf Quartermaster of a Western Peatr In aa Interchange of repartee, friendly or for blood, one caa nearly always lad aomo sort of aaswer la rebuttal." aald an army oMcer of the quartermaster's departmeat, "bat I got the finest flooriag at a weatera post the other day you ever heard of. "This cub la the quartermaster at the western post father a claasy young fellow, too, oaly eccentric. I suspect that what alia him la that he 'a a bit of a genius. "About two yeara ago this young oaV cer had a bad fit of sickness after his re turn from the Philippines, aad it af fected his head. Ia fact, he had to take sick leave for six months aad go to an institution where people are treated for aervoua prostratloa. At the ead of his six months he was ex amined by a board of army aurgeoaa, pronounced quite aaae again they gave him a certificate to that elect and he was restored to duty la the quartermaster's departmeat. Ha waa asslmed to duty at thu weatera I r ,i ir He Isn't much of a bookkeeper. and his accounts got ail pickled ap a while ago, and so after a lot of futile correspondence the quartermaster's department fired me of to atralghtea the cub's accounts out "When I finished the Job of straight ening his accounts I proceeded aa per orders to read a little piece or two from the riot act to him. " 'You're got to take a brace, aoa I said to him, 'or they'll be coming down on you like a thousand of brick. They won't stand for another bunch of messed up accouats from you. You've got to get right down to It and keep these things straight if you toee a leg at the job.' "Well, he's a decent hoy. aad all that, but when he proceeded to give me an argument about this gentle lit tle lecture I couldn't help but call him. His Idea df it was that the quarter master's department's established method of having post accounts kept was all wrong, too laborious, Involved, complicated, and so on, aad he aald he'd like to have the job of revising the department's old-fashioned meth, ods, as he called them. 'This partic ularly riled me. "'You're dreaming, youngster. I said to him. 'Dreaming or daft' "Then utterly forgetting that the Jroung fellow had been out of his head In a sanitarium for quite a spell of course I never would have made the remark if I'd remembered that I added: " Fact is, you're crazy as a loon.' 'The whelp knew that I wouldn't have said that had I remembered about his experience, and so he gased at me without a bit of resentment In his expression. " Ts that sor he said to me. 'All the aame, I'm the only man on this reser vation who has got a certificate, that he Is absolutely sane.' "I suppose that wasn't a hot one! It took me right ol my pins. There wasn't a word to be aald la reply to that, aad the only thing I could do waa to slouch away aad make for some quiet spot where I could talak It over." Deserved Hie Liberty. The smartest lunatic who ever es caped from an English asylum seems to be a well-known Hadley man. Wearing a silk hat aad a frock coat he walked Into a newspaper oBtee la Hadley and, after writlag a thrilling story of how to elude the rigllaat at tendants at the Staffordshire county asylum, asked the editor to publish it According to his story he waited for a foggy night aad than, after loosening the screws la his cell wia dow, descended to the ground by a rope ladder. He then visited Stock port and the poor law oflcers to look over the lunacy law. After learning that a lunatic could not be apprehended after 14 days of liberation unless a fresh order should be made out against him, he gave himself up to un restrained celebration of the new year. He complained In his story that the asylum system was too prisonlike and that it discouraged and depressed him. Use far Laurel and Sunflower. People who live In damp localities, particularly near undrained land. In France have discovered a simple rem edy for damp situations. Successful experiments have shown that it la possible materially to Improve the at mosphere in such neighborhoods by the planting of the laurel and the ana flower. The laurel gives ol an abund ance of ozone, while the sunflower la potent in destroying malarial condi tions. These two, if planted on the most restricted scale la a garden or any ground close to the house, will be found speedily to increase the dry ness and salubrity of the atmosphere. Great Chilean Salt Deaeeita. The salt deposits of Chile are the greatest in the world. The Salar Grande mine In the province of Tara paca, about SO miles south aad east of Iquiqae, covers aa area of M.aen acres to the depth of 25 feet This body of salt ia nearly pure aad oaa talna more than 14,Mv,OM,e0v tops, or enough to aupply the world'a de mands for many decades. There are several other deposits la the Interior that cover two or three times the of the above. Tree Dawtletiy. Many methods are befag tried for the ereservatloa of old aad historical trees la the east scene ef which are Intensely lateresUag. Oa the estate of Joha J. little, at Bala. Pa, la a vary old sycamore, the trunk of which had become decayed. The cavity filled with stone aad cemeat aroaad Its bane waa thaa built aa outer stone wan, so arraaaed that the water would drain away fraam the traaKoctaa FAVORS REVIVAL OF PRUNELLA. Yeuni Woman Criticises Material of the Present Day Shea. The young woman looked at her feet thoughtfully. "I wlan," she said, "that some new material for making shoes could he Invented or discov ered. I should not like to have it made of wood palp, because our for ests are already too nearly wiped ol the earth' bHt I wish it could be Some thing besides the skins of animals. I don't like to think about all that kill ing. Besides, shoes are not satisfac tory any more. The old French kid, that I wore when I waa a child can scarcely be found nowadaya. Dealers assure 'you that they are giving you French Md. but it proven to be some thing greatly inferior. Calfskin which is now usually called 'matt kid' or 'gun metal kid,' wears well and looks well, but It is so porous that it makes the feet cold la winter and hot in summer lets in the atmosphere, whatever its temperature may be, jmd makes the feet auler from it The ma terial that Is called vlci hid la stiff, loses its shape quickly and cracks and peels in a very short time. I believe some kind of cloth could be invented which might serve. Our grandmoth ers ased prunella. They had smaller and more shapely feet than we have, too.- RUSSIAN'S "PRESENCE OF MIND." Anecdote Illustrates Calleueneesef the Czar's Officials. A grimly humorous anecdote is told by the distinguished patriot. Prince Serge Dmitriyevich Urossov, in his book entitled "Memoirs of a Russian Governor," a translation of which has just been introduced over here -by the Harpers. Prince Urussov writes: "One of my nearest collaborators in Bessarabia, von R n, the oldest councillor of the provincial adminis tration, aad a very kindly man, liked to tell sometimes of his presence of mind. Twenty years before he was called upon to be present at the execu tion of n Jewish criminal. The con demned man hung the required num ber of minutes and was taken down from the gallows, when the physician was supposed to confirm his death. But It appeared that they had forgot ten to cut off his long, thick beard, so the noose did not kill. '"Imagine yourself in my position, said Rohren; 'the doctor told me the Jew would come back to life in five minutes. What was I to do? To hang him a second time I held to be impos sible, and yet I had to execute the death sentence.' '"But what did you do, thenT I asked, and received the memorable answer: " 'I had him buried quickly before he regained consciousness.'" Advice te Girls. This' bit of advice from an older woman may sound hard-headed, but most girls need it "Never put any thing In a letter that coulda't be pub lished in a newspaper. No newspaper is going to publish your letters, of course, but that ia a good rule to fol low, nevertheless. A love missive that has grown cold is about the most foolish thing ever beheld by the eyes of man. One's first young love af fairs seldom amount to much, any way, and it's just aa well to treat them as a joke. Of course, it's more fun when you are serious, hat It's an excellent idea to show as much intel ligence aa possible. If It is vitally necessary to your heart's happiness to write dearie letters every day, let them be without beginning or signa ture so that If by chance they fail out of the young man's pocket your sen timents won't be advertised publicly.' Erin's Shamrock Grows in Seattle. Among the many natural resources of the state of Washington new things are comlag, to light every day. No less wonderful thaa amusing Is the fact that the botanical growth of the state is eariched with oae more spe cially valuable acquisition, for lo and behold, the shamrock, the real thing, has been discovered within the limits of the city of Seattle. Poor Pat your claim and mine of re lationship to the plant and monopoly of its nativity to our dearly beloved land, has been lost forever! But In surrendering our title of exclusive right to this brave little patriotic em blem of Ireland there still remains the one consolation that it waa discovered growing here by a son of the soil who hails from near the beautiful Lakes of Klllarney. Seattle Times. Rabbit That Could Swim. William Zimmerman, a telegraph messenger of .Dubois, Pa., recently demonstrated that a rabbit can swim when It must Zimmerman caught a rabbit on the island north of the Boulevard aad brought it to the Pennsylvania freight depot Br'er Rabbit made aa espe cially lusty kick aad escaped from Bill's enfolding arms, fleeing among the freight cars with Bill aad several other youths ia chase. Headed off oa all aides the little creature dived be tween the wheels of a moviag loco motive aad with a flirt of his abort tail jumped iato Sandy creek, which he awam like a duck, and quickly dis appeared toward his home ia the rashes. In the Present. "Aad before I accepted him," Miss Paasay waa saying, "I asked him if he would love me whea I waa old." tThe idea!" exclaimed Miss Bright, "why. If he proposed to yoa he had al ready proven that hadn't he?" Hie Difficulty. "Yoa wrong me." aald Plodding Pete, "whea yaa say I ala't willla' to work. I'm jee' dyla' to work." ,-Then what's the trouble?" Tn tea aoasawmttoaa. Wheaever I git a job I'm so aaxioas to fill it well dat I gits stage fright" Effect Va Effect "He writes excelleat verse." "Why, he told me an of his "That's what ME SLAMED TE OOVUNMENT. UnobUging Ms; Saw N Reasea far Putting Himeelf Out "Say." remarked -the peat osaee clerk who waa off duty, aa he watched a Mead affix two stamps to the coraer of aa eaevetope, "why doa't you put those stamps oa hoflaoatally Instead of vertically? Don't you know you would save a lot of work for us stampers If you put you stamps beside each other iasteadof under each other? We always hare to make two strokes when canceling vertically pasted stamps by hand, and they don't work well through the stamping ma chines either." "Is that sor queried his friend, aa he took .another envelope aad pro ceeded to aflix two stamps to it la a vertical position. "Then, by the great bora spoon, why doesn't the govern ment sell its stamps la ' horizontal lines? Look at these. Here I bought 26 cents' worth of two-cent stamps and they come to me la vertical liaes. If I buy five twoa I get them attached one to the bottom of the other. Do you think I'm going to the trouble of tearing each stamp off just to please a government clerk by pasting them side by side? Guess again." ANCIENT AND MODERN FICTION. Really Little Differenee in the Methane . of Writera... The historlaa Freemaa oace said: "I never let a man die" at' the ead of a chapter." The modern serial, or con tinued story, exemplifies a like theory of pausing at the very'brialc of an ab sorbing event We consider a year long serial one of considerable length; yet In France, In 1S10, the first two parts of the Aatree, one of the most celebrated Gallic novels, were pub lished four or five yeara before the third part, and several. more ia ad vance of the fourth and fifth parts. ' About the same time flourished Mile, de 8cudery, memorable as' the author of the first romance of any note writ ten by a woman. She composed and published by Installments novels of a length unknown to the readers of to day. Every story was originally is sued ' in batches of small octavos, sometimes running to n score or so. She has been described aa "the most pitiless writer of fiction that the world has ever known." The same Seventeenth Century, says Harper's Weekly, illustrates, again, the willingness of French writers to abide their time. The poet Malherbe wished to console a friend on the death of his wife. By the time the poem was finished, the gentleman had been consoled, remarried, and was himself dead! Oriental Toy Fish. William H. Heimbach of Alientown, Pa., an expert breeder of fancy fishes, has recently sold a lot of Japanese rringetaiis and some Chinese fantails for $10 each. Several of the fringe tails, with bodies less than three inches long, have tails four Inches long. The parent stock was imported from the orient, but Mr. Heimbach has suc ceeded in raising about 500 of the fish in an elaborate hatchery he built ad joining his home. The fad, in "addi tion to being expensive, requires in finite patience' and care. The fish must be kept and bred in still water, which Is supplied with oxygen by mans of odd plants .procured chiefly from China. The breeding of these top. flsh, of which single specimens are worth from $5 to $10. is said to be the acme of piscatorial culture. A well stocked five gallon aquarium is worth about $150. Their Favorite Mottoes. Many well-known men have favor ite mottoes which they endeavor to live up to, and. curiously enough, some of them are particularly applica ble to their professions. "Speech is silvern, silence is golden," is the maxim which Sir George Lewis, the famous lawyer, always bears In mind. "Tell the truth aad shame the devil" la Mr. Laboucbere'a 'very appropriate motto; while Sir John Fisher adopts the significant words: "The frontiers of England are the coasts of the enemy." John Burns is very fond of the saying: 'The world is my coun try nnd to do good Is my religion;" while the British premier gives the text of St Paul as his motto: "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient" A True Friend. A true friend will tell one his faults, la a saying we often hear, but a true friend, if he is wise in the knowledge of human nature, will tell his virtues. The fact 4a that In this busy world of ours, with Its keea struggle and sharp competition, we are pretty apt to he told our faulta by those who are not friends, and to be brought face to face with our mistakes and failures so often tat we sometimes lose hope and cour age. Whoever has a word of hoaest praise for another should feel that he holds something which ia that other's due, and hasten to pay it The word of blame may be a goal, but the word of hearty commendation will he "some thing to live up to" through many a trying hour. The Parish Visitor. Famoue Beawty a Weedcarver. Lady Colebrooke. famous alike for her beauty, accomplishments aad akin aa a political hostess, pbsseasea a won derfully complete, carpenter aad wood -carvlag shop at Abingtoa; Laaarkshlre. ' Here she has not only turned oat some clever pieces of work bat has also taught some of the village girls oa her hasbaad'a estate how to fashion wood with hammer aad chisel. Lady Colebrooke ia a clever sculptor, too. Aa Times Change. "Politics Is getting to be wonderful ly interesting," said the observer. "Yea," aaawerad Senator Sorghum, "it la mighty lataraatlag. "Bat be tweea yoa aad aw It laa't aaar aa. much of aa lavas tmsat aa It aaed to Mies Elderly 1 painted this por trait of (leokJagat the gtri) Whet a yoa have! READY WITH ADVICE cf WORDS OP WISDOM FROM SOUSED ONE. THE Gentleman Temporarily Off the Water to Object- Which Offended Hie Senee ef There catered a dowatowa barber shop, a day or twp ago, a man who had' climbed down from the water wagoa to make room for those who desired seats. He came ia aad looked about him genially. The hoy came up to him to take his coat aad hat, hut ha coa tiaued to just look about him aad also thiags ap. He wore good dothee. aad the eight-day growth oa hie eouatea aace didn't harmonise, hat if he want ed a shave he dlda't acorn la aay rasa about It He just looked aroaad. Ia the third chair waa a man with oae of those big bushy, droopiag wal rus mustaches. That mustache seemed to catch the eye of the aoaacd oae. He walked over to get a better look at it "Why dontcfiua cat it off?" ho in quired of the barber. Then ho pat a similar query to the am la the chair. "Why doa't yoa have aim chop It off, so you'll look like somebody?" he sug gested. The man la the chair looked aroaad at aim: '.iWhat are yoa talkta' ahoatr he asked. "You know very well what I'm talk la' about." aaya the aoaaed oae. "I'm talkia' about that wild grass. Why doa't yoa have the maa go over It with his scythe?" The barber waa disposed to he good natured with the visitor, aa he seemed harmless enough, aad probably came ia to get work done. Therefore he made no effort to chase him away. The stranger went oa to observe: "It wouldn't take a minute for the man to clip it off." "Say, what are you talking about?" demanded the oae la the chair agaia. "What do you want with such a thing anyway?" went oa the other oae irrelevaatly. The maa ia the chair merely gave him a look of disgust, but the other one kept right on: "111 pay the maa to clip It off for you If you waat me to." The owner of the mustache demand ed once more: "Say, fellow, what are you getting at aay way?" "Aw." snapped the pickled oae, "you think I don't know what It Is. eh? I know what it ia all right, if I want to tell. It's a mustache, that's what it is. Why don't you have it cut off?" And then he walked out without even getting n shave. Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Could Have Had It Andy." A writer oa a morning daily aaya a Wall street maa Is responsible for this: "Did you ever hear of a man los ing $109,000,000 In cold cash because heforgot to ask for It?" asked a vet eran stock exehaage maa. "Well, there ia such a maa," he continued, "and his name is Andrew Carnegie. When the Laird of Sklbo sold out his steel later ests to J. P. Morgan he got $3ae.eea, 000 ia 5' per cent beads for his prop erties. You kaow that doa't yoa? 'Shortly after the steel corporatioa waa put Into working order Carnegie aad Morgan were on their wny to Europe on the same steamer; Shddenly Car negie said: 'Joha, doa't yoa know I think that I ought to- have got $409. 080,000 Instead of $SO,6wO.O for say holdings?' Morgan looked nt him with that cold and aiaiater expresstoa ho always carries oa his face whea ho ia about to say something particularly soothing, aad replied: 'Well. Aady. you could have had it' " The Saggar Talked Shea.' "I've asked more'a a hundred people for the price of n cup of coffee to-day." said the beggar, approaching a maa la Thirty-sixth street the other evealag. "Aad how many caps of coffee did you wia?" Inquired the victim, haadiag over a dime. "Honest" replied the beggar, "that's the first dime I've got to-day. I took la a whole lot o peaales aa' a few alch els, but that's the first dime. Every time there's hard times us folks ia the first to feel it People's alias generous to us whea they've got moaey, bat when they're pinched we poor folks hi most allua turned down. Aa' It ala't right We got to live somehow." Aad the beggar shufiled off aa happy aa the ordinary maa who la allowed to talk shop for a few mlaates without belag Interrupted. New York Globe. Champion Layer. "What are yoa going to do with that loggerhead turtle?" asked the tourist In Florida. ."Going to send it to President Roosevelt" responded the old water man. "H'm! Don't you think It would he more appropriate to send him a bear?" "No, Ira going to send him this old turtle because she is so opposed to race suicide. Just laid 399 eggs, by gosh." Weather or Not A Germaatown womaa discovered oae morning recently that her maid Nora had brokea the thermometer thnt hung In the receptlea halt "Well, Nora," sighed the mistress of the house, la a reelgaed way, "you've maaaged to break. the theraKmeter, havea't you?" "Yls, mum." replied the maid, la a tone equally reelgaed. "Aad. bow. mum. we'll jlst have to take the weath er as it comes!" Harper's Weekly. A Calm Avowal. "So." remarked the old-time friend, "society aaa at last welcomed yoa with open arme?" "No," aaawerad Mr. Cumrex; "I am still eadeavoriag to welcome society with oaaa bocketbook." On the Pier. "Beat yoa talak K la a erasy thing far aa to aame dowa here Jest te watch them haal oat a tot of iaabigaetr WHERE PRICES .RUN Hlawf. Oat of a f, V O. a sugar jobber of New la a anuria ihe kindly virtue of charity. "Oa,my hut vault to New York It was' some moatas before the panic I spoke harshly of a millionaire who haul been accused of doable dealing la a baakiag traaaactlea. "Said Mr. Havemeyer: 'Let as not condenui this maa unheard. Remem ber that hlf Sallt baa not yet been proved, aor.aaa he yet told his owa aide of the story.' "Thea Mr. Havemeyer leagued aad said that ia the moat untoward coadi thrna accuaed mea were oftea able to clear thesnselvea. He told of a yoaag girl who a week or no after Christmas complaiaed bitterly to her mother: "'Mamma, I doubt if I shall he hap py with George. I fear he Is of a de ceptive nature.' . " 'Why. darllag. what do yoa mean? the mother asked. " 'Well, mamma. said the young girl eameetly, you kaow that collar pia he gave me for Christmas? He swore to mo that ha paid $25 for It but to day I aaw lta exact counterpart priced at five dollars at a jeweler's.' "Ah. hat my child.' aald the moth er, yoa mast remember how very re ligious George Is. Uadoubtedly he bought the pta at a church fair.' " " MfJI6B)QlBT aVy aa tP4nllu? The death .of Keaita. the hair-myta-ical klag of Seotlaad. waa one of the moat curious aad remarkable hi his tory. If It may ha called a historical fact It seems that Kealth had alaia Crataliatua. a son. aad Malcolm Daf fua. the hiag aad brother of Feaaella; she, to be revenged, caused Wlltua, the stoat ingenious artist of the time, to fashion a statue filled with auto matic springs nnd levers. Finished aad set up. this brazen Im age was aa admirable work of art Ia lta right hand Wlltua placed a ewer aad la the left an apple of pure gold, finely set . with diamonds nnd other precious stones. To touch this npple was to court death. It was so arraaged that aay' one guilty of such vandalism would he Immediately rid dled with arrows shot from loopholes In the statue's body. Kenlth waa invited to see the won der, aad, kinglike (and just as Fea aella hoped) tried to pluck the Imita tion fruit He waa instantly riddled with poisoned arrows, dyiag where he felL The StantaJeas Man. "Did you ever stop to think how helpless a man Is without postage stamps?" inquired the man with the armful of packages the other day. "We use stamps tots of times without thinking about it don't realize how many things we mail from day to day. Bat awhile ago I started to mall a big bunch of 'Christmas packages, aad waated abobt 59 cents worth of stamps. The hotels were all aold out or nearly so. I stepped at three drag stores without fiadlag a alagle stamp. aad thea I made for the post offtee aahstatloa dowa la the arcade. There waa a liao of people there half a block long. I femldat wait there aad I weat oa dowa to the post otsce. The lino there waa Just as long. "Well I Anally got my stamps hat It took me about two houra altogeth er. I aever had aay idea a maa could waste so much time just over the postage stamp problem la a tawa this sue." Cleelaad Plata Dealer. Net Exorbitant The summer resident looked sharply at Mr. Jameson's guileless moon face. aad thea at the mild aad aone-too-sprightly horse he waa offering for sale. "Doa't yoa. think $159 rather a stiff price to ask for a home like that?" asked the.i-summer resident '"How old is her "He'a oaly jest thutty," said Mr. Jameson, calmly. "Thirty yeara old, aad you expect to get $159 for him!" "I doa't kaow aa I expect to get If aald Mr. Jameson, without rancor, "but it seems ss if I'd ought to have full aa much as that It doa't come to but five dollars a year, aad he's coat me a -good deal more'a that most years." Youth's Companion. ' Reason ffsr'aVief. "You look unhappy." "But you oace aald that if your hus band ever accumulated a million you would be perfectly happy?" "I know it, but Mrs. Nezdore's kus haad has accumulated two millions." Atlanta Coastitutioa. A Modern Heaaehold. The Cook Yoa have borrowed my savings, you wear my beat bat whea you go out and I've only half enough to eat at that, so I'm going to leave. Mistress Why, I told yoa that we should treat yoa as a member of the family. Transatlantic Tales. Ite Danger. Nurse Please, m . I can't find We've looked little Frahzi anywhere. all over. Mistress Did yoa took to see If he's been gathered ap by the vacuum cleaae-ATraasatlaatlc Tales. s. r Qeergla'a Future. Atlanta Majah CoL Okorn Is a db ceraiBafepicara aad boa vtvaat I aa derataad. Atlanta Geaeral Yea. aaa. He'a the best judge of lemonade In the city, sub ! "Cleveland Leader. Fortune to Child aad Dag. Romeo aad Juliette are two of the most latereetiag persoaagea la Paris. Julette ia the oaly daughter aad Romeo the favorite dog of aa eccea trie hat very wealthy widow who died a couple of yeara ago. By her will Mate. Cleery left her fartuae to he hv vested la government beads, the la derived therefsom to ha divided her little her ban terrier Rome aad Jaaotto, fortuaateiy. are the the das mvnriably atluahttUe awttLBD AT THE WRONG TIME. 9n loanTwwC Ceetly. I ffvlWaa Whea "Laugh aad the world with yoa" waa written, the author aa thought of the autocratic oaaa ef the earth who caaaot aee tbemeetvee la aaythlag approaching a ridiculoaa Hght It la related that the preaeat of Russia, returning oace from a Journey, was weary and in 1 to he trifled with. Aa he w lag through his apartments ho ahpeed oa a bearskin mat that lay oa the polished floor. Clutching nt oaa of his attendants, he aearly brought him self nnd his aupport to the Boor. Baron Eaidoff. at the time a confl deatial adviser, could act check a smile, which his monarch tamed just in time to observe. The aoxt day Eaidoff waa dlamtased from hie of tee. aad lost the $. attached to the post Aaother ruler who Is not to be trifled with Is William of Germany. Gone Mllhaake, a clever but bluff Scot, waa waa aa expert la colonial admlasstra tton. waa once taken up by the haissr who wished his advice on eastern af fairs, and had decided to give him aa important position to guard Ger .maa iateresta ia China. At oae of their conferences the kaiser made aa absurd suggestloa aa to eastern diplo macy. Milhaake laughed. The em peror wished him a frigid good eight, aad aever received him agaia. Aaother Scottish administrator. Dua caa McVea, waa adviatag the late pleaa aat but touchy king of Portugal, who had planned to put the shaky govern-, meat of the Cnpe Verde islanda in the hands of this skillful manager. The king became much excited, aad ssada a ludicrous botch of his English, whka waa usually excellent McVeaamUed) audibly, and was promptly ordered away. He waa aever appointed to the governorship, which carried a salary of $25.w9. f The Thirsty Veteran. The pitiful poverty of the army vet erans, on whose behalf Earl Roberta makes aa appeal, has developed la some of them a subtle keenness la se curing for themselves those little lux uries which waat of moaey preveatn them from obtaining ia the ordinary wny. Aa aged hero of the Criaseaa war aad ladtaa mutiny, who resided ia a remote village In Scotland, waa oaa day interviewed by a party of geatlo mea oa aa outing. They listened with interest to the story of the old maa'a share ia the above-mentioned cnm nalgas. aad. after thanking aim pro fusely. were about to depart, whea the aged warrior suddenly remarked: "There's aaother thing, geatleme that I caa recall to miad." "Ah. la deed! What la that?" eagerly ask ad the tourists, expecting to hear a most interesting remlniecenci. "Gentlemen," said the veteraa la im pressive tones. "I weel remember tknf I waa Just as thirsty during the whole of the battle of Ikerman as I am now!" The party took the hint. Dundee Ad vertiser. Fameue Character la Dead. Aa iaterestiag personality 'baa Just passed away at Brighton, England, ia William Oliver, marquis de Leuvlllsv Of striking though somewhat eccentric appearance, the marquis wan ia his younger days aa exceedingly hand some man. Both the early and latter part of bis life was spent la England hut for many years he resided ia France aad Italy, aad was a muster of the languages of both countries. Ol a naturally amiable dispoaltioa. he waa quick to reseat affront A skillful shot aad a more skillful swordsman, he was the hero of several exciting duels, while his remarkable eacoaate with a certain prince in Hyde Park some years ago, whea he left ale car rfhge to horsewhip publicly the de fumer of a lady with whom his aame waa thea associated, is still fresh ia the public memory. As a writer ol verse he was far above the average, aa the several editions of his book; "Eatro Nous." will testify. Among the aameroua songs published uader his aame perhaps the saost succeosfal "The First Kiss." which raa iato thing like 199.909 copies. A Tragedy. A Mr. Noamo King waa questloaed about the oddity of his Christlaa came. "It la this wny," he said; "my moth er made n point of giving nil of her chlldrea unusual names. I waa three months old before she fouad oae for see that she liked. One day. walla out shopping, she saw on one-half of n swinging door the word 'Noamo,' while the other half bore King,' her owa aame. " 'Noamo Klag. she noted saentally. not perceiving that the letters spelled 'no smoking' when the doors were closed; hence my lifelong nfliictioa." Harpers Weekly. Man'a EndU As a great preacher oace "Maa la continually looking for hia lost inheritance of happiness, which the allegory of the Gardea of fata prefigures. He hadws It extota for him somewhere, and he la ever knock ing, knecUng generally at the wrang door, of selfishness, greed, mhaaua. lust all aorta of foolish doors; aad wo call hia miatakea seeklag by a Sla.' " Oil Fuel far WarahfasL The British admiralty la las the poeaibtllty of supplanting anal with cH la the "mssqaHar aaet. the swiftest of Eaglaad'a war boats. A fleet of naval tank atsnmsrs would keep the depots Acceuntinf for It Goodley You doa't mesa to tell that Bragg la dowa aad out aaaacial ly? Why. the Inst tbae I aaw aim he told me he waa rapidly mounting the ladder of success aad wise tim: probably he aba mindedly stepped off the top mag. of Hia "Why do yoa act your alarm eleckr Yea aever get up whea R rtags!" "No. Bat I have tW sattofactlea ef aaowtag I am slssplns hue ef my owa M whU. aad aot by saHaaf J M , . rf ,v .jU7-v!? gY. i .-i. ' -A- ; j'vt. , -Tri$Sr-.jJSrSt.2?z 5 V..-?-?1-.. .. -S?-t!-5-. ,",.' Xjk&t- 'jt'.AC-? - V -t - - -rtatff .-jc . SA'E.-jftSj' jr , ),
